All language subtitles for 40-kg

Thank you.

once again, boys and girls.

It's time for another story from my
dusty old book of fairy tales.

Oh, and I, of course, am Mother

Goose.

Do you remember Beauty and the Beast
from last

time? Where this beautiful young maiden
ignored this man's ugly hideousness.

She fell madly in love with him, and
poof, he became a prince.

Well, we're not just sitting around
playing pinochle all day.

We've come up with Beauty and the Beast,
part two.

It's 20 years later, and things haven't
changed too much.

Dark ages, you know.

Except that Lord Beastington, through
shrewd political dealings and timely

assassination, has become King
Beastington.

And he's still very much in love with
his beauty, and she with he.

Deborah, who used to be the poorest
servant, is now handmaid to Queen

She's still looking for Mr. Right, and
her luck seems to be about as good as

Campanella. And

Beauty's

father, Lyle Not -a -Penny, was rewarded
for all of his kindness by being named

sole licensee.

for all of the palace visitors'
souvenirs.

Allen shirts, t -shirts here.

I survived the plague shirts here. Show
all your friends you survived the

plague. Torture handbook, the official
torture handbook here.

The king had two beautiful daughters,
one of which was named Patience.

She was sweet and virginal.

And now for our story.

Thank you.

La la la la.

There you are, darling.

Castle. Q -U -A -S -T -L -E.

Read them and weep.

Castle is spelled with a K, my dear.

Don't be ridiculous.

That most definitely spells castle. Q -U
-A -S -T -L -E.

No, that's quassel.

Castle with a K.

Did I tell you about my recent shopping
spree at Lord & Taylor?

I picked up a beautiful new set of thumb
screws.

Of course Castle's with a Q.

It's his fault.

Castle. Q -A -S -T -L -E. It's triple
world score, too.

Of course.

You know, my dear, it's so wonderful to
have such beautiful daughters.

Yes.

It's certainly a shame to think that
soon they'll be gone.

Till then, I will savor these days.
They're still our sweet little girl.

You know, Sybil is more evil than she
appears.

She insists on dating these rowdy
knights with their fast horses.

On church he means well.

You must occasionally look at your
daughter with your eyes instead of your

heart, my beloved.

And patience.

I have no concern about patients.

She has a gentle face and talented
hands.

Yes, I've seen her needlepoint.

It's quite good.

Your love and theirs means so much to
me.

If they would ever let me down, it would
crush me deeply.

Oh, Lord Jarvis, leaving so soon?

There's so much more to learn.

Yeah, well, perhaps you can teach me
more during my next session, darling.

I noticed that you have one of those
delightful moves, anyway.

Oh, I don't know.

Must be the best thing, you know.

Yeah, perhaps it is.

Now, listen, Subba, the reality of the
situation is I'm just a tad too old for

you, you know?

But if we really do my heart good,
you'll get down with my son Desmond, you

what I mean?

But how?

My father never lets me go out, and my
mother would never let me go out with

someone like him.

God, she is so boring and perfect.

I mean, isn't it enough that my goddamn
sister's already like her?

Now, Sybil, I, uh... What?

My mother. Your mother?

What do you want me to do?

The window.

The window?

Oh!

Mother! Hello, darling. I just wanted to
come in and say goodnight.

Oh, sweet.

I'm so sleepy.

Darling, I just wanted to let you know
your father and I love you very much.

Yes, dear.

Do you think that, well, do you think it
would be possible for me to go to the

big Renaissance pleasure fair this
weekend?

No, no, no, no, no.

The last time you went to the
Renaissance fair, you stayed out all

and then the next day at least three
different men called, said that you

them, and made them Prince of all BC.

No fair.

No fair?

No fair!

Sybil, darling, you have a mean streak.

And your father and I only want to save
you from yourself.

You're just making that up.

When you're through with your toys,
darling, please put them on.

Good night.

See what I mean.

Yeah, good.

And doll, doll, just like you said.

This is Sybil.

Perhaps I'll go speak to your mother
myself, and maybe I can work something

so you have a date with Desmond, huh?

Perhaps she would listen to you, Lord
Jarvis.

Perhaps she would.

Bye -bye.

And meanwhile, King Basington was saying
goodnight to his good daughter,

Patience.

I don't know.

The sister troubles me.

Oh, Father.

Sybil's played many pranks.

You know, like the one with the dwarf
hunchback at the Pope's birthday bash.

Yeah.

I'll never forget the horrified look on
the Holy Father's face when he lifted up

the silver platter cover, expecting to
find Rosalina.

Expecting to find Rosalina.

Expecting to find Rosalina.

Yes,

someone couldn't have known the Pope had
a heart condition.

Patience. You have such a kind, warm,
loving heart, just like your mother.

That's why I wanted you to move into the
room next to Sybil's. I know you'll

have an influence on her.

I know I'm right.

Come.

Well, what crushing blows await the poor
king now?

Can you spell infidelity, boys and
girls?

I knew you could.

in town collecting taxes.

And when you return, I'll play you a
tune.

I can't wait, my darling.

You know, he really does love my music.

Press me.

Excuse me, Your Highness, but I have a
matter of great delicacy to discuss with

you. Oh, really?

Carry on.

Gutenberg, where were you? I'm packing
ours.

You got a receipt?

That's the problem. Good. Let's go.

that when someone said a matter, was it
some delicacy?

Invariably, it was.

In fact, some in -delicacy.

Perhaps I should bring this up with your
husband.

After all, he should be informed of, um,
the affairs of the princess.

My husband is of the same opinion as I.

I'm your savior.

It is just your slanderous word.

Ah!

I beg your pardon, your highness, but it
just so happens I have recorded

evidence.

You see, my associate here recorded an
entire session of young

Sybil's debauchery.

Gutenberg, if you please.

You see, I had a feeling that Sybil just
might be up to some shenanigans, so I

took the liberty of planting Gutenberg
in the room.

You know, the morality of my daughter is
of no concern to you.

And if my husband hears this recording,
it will destroy him.

Hmm.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe.

Maybe.

I should demand some form of payment in
order to keep it from me.

All right, Jarvis. What shall it be?

Gold? Yeah.

Choice forest land?

Don't need it.

Lifetime supply of mutton?

Please.

No, my queen.

Actually...

I was thinking of something a bit
more... royal.

How dare you, fondled queen.

I should have you detestacled and dangle
them from the nearest milepost.

Don't you ever say anything like that.

My love for my daughter and my husband
is strong.

And I will do what I need to protect
them.

Even if I have to surrender my body to a
sleaze like you.

Gutenberg, excuse us.

No, wait.

This recording must be burned.

Oh, really?

Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Gutenberg.

Come here.

I'm really sorry about this, but... I
got a shot at fucking the queen.

I mean, what would you do in my place,
huh? I think I'd think of my fellow

being. I think I'd...

Yeah, I'd fuck her too.

Not as dumb as you look, Gutenberg.

You cool?

Travis, you're immoral.

Where?

Isn't this a sweet and touching turn of
events?

Oh! Oh, Jarvis! You're despicable,
disgusting,

disgusting little man!

But your tongue!

Oh, that tongue!

So they'll call me Jarvis the Jabber for
nothing, toots?

I hate to do this.

Thank you.

Oh

So great was Beauty's love for her man
that she endured an unspeakable assault

at the hands of someone she absolutely
abhorred.

Will she ever get over it?

Wow.

Yeah, hmm.

Oh, yeah

So the doctor yelled at his apprentice,
You fool!

I said, Brick is boiled!

You funny little man!

Well, that's it.

I gotta take five.

Yes, yes, yes.

Huh. Fiddler, why so sad?

If she's thinking of giving it up,
that's good news.

Well, sir, she is giving it up, but it's
not the violin.

You see,

Unnaturally, the violin teacher blabbed
the whole thing to the king, and the

king was dumbstruck.

I'm a blabberguy.

The love of my life.

Bopping Lord Jarvis.

One of my own knights.

Tell me, Fender.

Did she... Did she seem to enjoy
herself?

I regret to inform, sire, but she rode
that pony like there was no tomorrow.

I'm utterly distraught.

What shall I do?

What shall I do?

I have a wonderful idea. I think first
we'll take them down to the dungeon.

Yes, I'll take them down and lock them
up.

Yes, let's tie them, spread eagle to the
bars, facing out, of course.

Naked. Naked. That's it. We'll tie them
spread -eagle and naked to the bars in

the cold and the damp. Oh, it's awful,
but I love it.

And then I'll come by in about a half an
hour and start to shave them.

I think that'll be great.

Shaving them from head to toes. I love
shaving prisoners, starting with the

face, moving down the underarms, a
little bit on the chest, and then

your way down to the cross.

Guard, please.

We'll do nothing to them.

I'll be leaving now, sir.

Thank you, Fiddler. Thank you.

Now for the second show. So this knight
walks into a bar, right? He says, I got

a ten -foot dick.

So?

Come on, King, I get paid, man. I showed
up.

Aw, man.

Did he find out about Jarvis and I?

How?

Perhaps I should tell him.

No, it would kill him.

He knew it was to protect him and that I
didn't enjoy it much.

What's the matter with me? If he does
know about this, why am I smiling like

idiot?

No, frown means guilt.

I can't believe her.

The love of my life.

Unfaithful with that damn Jarvis.

What humiliation.

I can just imagine their bodies joining
in the tumbling, sweaty lust of math.

Throbbing flesh.

Wuthering yearning.

Snorting passion.

Maybe I can watch them sometime.

Nah, I'd hate that.

Bye.

Oh. Oh, no.

No, no, no.

Oh, no.

Does this mean King Beastington is
returning to his former self, the Beast?

out at this hour.

Oh, and a tither.

I can't sleep.

Oh, that's a shame.

Perhaps I'll have a sip of some old
wine, huh?

Yes.

Perhaps.

Perhaps I will.

There.

So, now tell me, what speed is assisting
the problem?

Mine.

My husband.

He... He doesn't touch me in a certain
way.

Hey!

It's quite a nip and jump there, my
honey.

I'm so afraid I'm going to lose him.

I know I deserve it.

I... I betrayed him.

I know it's only because I love him,
though.

Oh,

there we go!

I should put here in the first quote.

Oh.

Wow!

Four.

So, boys and girls.

Next day.

That's just a live one.

It's you.

And where be your husband Heathcliff,
the Duke of Guise?

Oh, he's here.

Come on, come on.

Yes, my beloved goddess, the best of all
the world's beauties.

Duke, let me help you, please.

Oh, I wouldn't think of him like a
woman.

She is the help, you idiot.

Yes, my beloved goddess, the best of all
the world's beauties.

My sister, and Heathcliff. How very good
to see you.

Beauty, where might be that handsome
king of yours?

And your lovely daughters?

Well, they're in the middle of a family
discussion.

I forbid you to see this young
scoundrel.

But father, this boy is handsome and
rich.

You just don't like him because he's the
son of Jarvis.

That has nothing to do with it.

He's just not worthy of a princess.

Besides, what is so appealing about
these young knaves with their fast

and loud lute players?

They're not appealing to me, Father.

I know that, Patience.

What is appealing to you, Patience?

The only hump that you'll ever get is by
visiting a bell ringer at Notre Dame.

That's enough ugly talk, Sybil.

You should be more like your sister.

Your life will lead you straight to
hell. I am in hell!

horrible thing to say.

Well, I'm just a little upset.

Well, did you please leave?

Please.

enough tea, dick breath.

So,

what is up with my niece?

Oh,

well, you know, it's Sybil.

You see, she wants to go on dating these
unruly boys, and the king is strongly

opposed.

Well, you know, young girls often do
date wild boys and then settle down with

someone respected.

Isn't that so, my goddess?

Possessor of all the world's beauty.

Just shut the fuck up, okay?

You know, Eliza, I thought maybe you
could talk to Sybil.

I probably shouldn't interfere in a
matter like this.

The king is much more prudish than I.

And I'd really hate to see her get
hooked up with that awful Desmond.

Desmond?

You mean that wealthy son of that
wealthy knight, Lord Jarvis?

Yes.

You know, I am her auntie.

I would hate for that poor girl to be
led astray.

Now don't you go and try and get that
Desmond for yourself, my goddess.

Or to your house.

I was just kidding.

We always did like that. That's because
we love each other so much.

Really, we do.

Really, we are.

Really. Oh, that's enough tea,
Heathcliff. Thank you.

Now quickly, take this to Desmond of
Presley.

We'll hurry up.

Arlene's favorite needs. Andy, did you
bring me anything?

Oh, I sure did. Just a trifle. Wow.

Wow.

So, I understand that you're trying to
make time with a certain someone.

The Kingy Terrace won't let you.

Yes. His name is Desmond of Presley.

He's so fine.

He has a fantastic Steve.

Not to mention a nice horse.

Starts a woman with quivering.

I sent word for him to meet me in my
room tonight.

Tonight, you say?

Is that so awful, my auntie?

Of course not, my niece.

One must always experience all the food
on life's banquet before settling down

for the harsh scroll of marriage like I
did.

But does that mean that I don't love my
father?

I mean, because I need so much dick.

I need dick all the time.

Are you kidding?

In fact, I've got some love potion in
here.

All the way from the ductum of the week.

Wow.

Here we go.

Cool. Do you have any wine or anything
to put this in?

Oh, well, here we go.

Thank you.

Go.

Now you drink this up, and by the time
your lover arrives tonight, your loins

will be afire, and only his hose will be
able to douse the flames.

Wow,

cool.

Now listen, you have a really good time.

Give me a good report, okay? You got it.

Every single eye is my king.

Ah, yes, yes.

I must fire that little barber. He's not
very good.

Listen, you must do something for me. I
have forbidden Sybil to see that young

knave Desmond.

But she'll find a way. Keep an eye on
her.

Let me know.

Yes, my king.

So, Sybil, it's time for your
enlightenment.

Later that night, It's a double dose of
sleeping potion.

Took a perfect on the sip.

Yabba.

My princess.

I'm here.

I got you now.

Sybil?

Sybil?

And who are you?

I think you feel great.

I should have known this was your game.

Gold digging.

What are you doing in the princess's
private chambers?

Get out.

Are you forgetting something?

Oh, yes.

Get out, your highness.

I thought this was going to be a one -on
-one.

After all, I was the one who gave Sybil
the sleeping potion.

I guess she's going to be out for a
while then.

Are we going to do it?

La, la, la, la, la.

Duh duh duh!

Thank you.

Cold. Oh,

I'm hot.

I'm hot.

Cold.

He's the king, for Christ's sake. Don't
you love the king?

Of course I do.

And that's exactly why I did it.

You see, Lord Jarvis seems to have some
recordings of himself having sex with

our daughter, Sybil.

And he was going to play them for the
king unless I... unless I made love to

him. That scum.

That bag of scum.

Scumbag.

And I fear that he's going to blackmail
me further.

I shall look into this matter.

And I think he will be forgiven.

Thank you, Father.

Little seven for the family.

No.

Oh, snake eyes, you lose.

So?

Off with the clothes.

Let's go, dummy. Let's go.

Patience.

Ah, hello, Lord Jarvis.

Aren't these flowers lovely when they're
in bloom?

How does a funny man get laid in this
picture? Jeez.

Oh, my, what a lovely bunch.

You must have been out all morning
picking these.

Listen, uh, Patience, I've got to tell
you, I've often dreamed of my son

going out with your lovely sister Sybil
and your beautiful self going out with

my other son Fauntleroy. Doesn't that
sound like merry fun?

Yes, it does.

But I'm afraid the king would never,
ever allow it. And besides, Sybil's

grounded.

What the king doesn't know won't hurt
him.

I could never be sneaky with my father.

Well, Patience, perhaps I have something
that could coerce you to change your

mind.

I have proof of a certain knight
enjoying the charms of your mother.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, excuse me.

Allow me to introduce you to my very
good friend, Leonardo da Vinci.

The famous painter.

Yes. But you see, Leonardo has fallen on
hard times and had to take out part

-time work as a detective to make ends
meet.

Well, it just so happens he was there to
witness the debauchery and came away

with these exquisite paintings.

Leonardo, if you please.

Enough.

Great talent.

Oh, patience.

Patience, wait.

Now, you understand, a man of my high
principles would certainly hate to see

these exquisite paintings fall into the
hands of your father.

I get the picture, Lord Jarvis. I may be
sweet and virginal, but I know evil

blackmail. Now, I'm just a dad who wants
the best for his sons, that's all.

How can I arrange this?

I don't know, but...

I'm sure you'll think of something.

I just don't get it. I mean, why do we
have to dress up just to go to the Royal

Library? It will come to you later.

Just be happy you're out of the palace.

You are right about that.

Now, Father Certainly wasn't agreeable
this morning.

He thinks I'm going to bring him
culture.

He won't regret this.

Do you always dress like this just to go
to the library?

I mean... Let's hear it, honey.

This isn't the way to the library.

No kidding.

Stop here.

This is simple.

Isn't it?

Hi, Billy.

Butler Roy.

Patience. What an interesting turn of
events.

But, uh, what about the driver?

Shut up and enjoy yourself.

Oh, God.

My Lord King Biftington, it is I, Lyle,
not the penny.

Are you alone?

Yes, I am.

Then enter.

Holy Jesus H.

Christ.

Is it that bad?

No, no, not really. I overreacted.

Holy motherfucker shit. Listen, Lyle,
the reason I asked you here is you're

only one I can trust anymore.

I've lost the love to my wife and
daughters.

You see, this emotional distress that
I'm having has reactivated my beast

Oh, God, what an awful, horrible... It's
not that bad, really.

Yes, it is.

My liege, I happen to know...

That your wife and daughters love you
with true devotion.

Bull and shit.

I say de -tit all three of them. Take
all six wolves and stick them on pipes

parade them through town. Yes, boil
their nipples for breakfast.

And I... Shut up!

Carried away.

That guy had too much sugar, King.

Alas. He's right.

We must... Please, my lord.

You are tossing away true love.

I promise you...

If you just give me one chance, I can
prove this to you.

Just one chance.

All right, but make it good.

By the way, the Pope popped in.

Well, fuck the Pope.

It's the Canadian Queen, herrera.

Oh, your Highness.

Oh,

Pope.

Sorry, Mr. Price, you got my name?

There's no problem before God, please.

Here's the letter.

Since your sister came by last month, I
decided to return the paper.

The next time you come before I tell
you, I will stick your balls in your

Oh, Pope, hello.

Good to see you again, Duchess.

You know there are other parts of your
home that I'd love to get.

You've covered most of them, my sweet.

Holy Father!

Far out!

Wow! You're potent if you remember my
daughter.

Now where's that queen of yours?

My queen beauty is speechless.

She doesn't know where the king is.

Turn me into a problem adult.

And he gives apologies for his absence.
He will be with us shortly.

I came all the way from Rome.

He'll groan in hell for this.

Ah, your holiness. You see, the king was
called away for a very important

crusade. In your name, he's kicking ass.
You'll be back very shortly.

Is there a lot of looting and pillaging
going on?

Plenty.

Well, okay then. You all enjoy
yourselves. May I see the sons of Lord

He's up in my quarters.

Boys.

Thank you, Your Holiness.

Thank you very much.

Your Holiness?

Hey.

You meant more to me than life itself.

You loved me unconditionally. I was
nothing but an ugly brute, like I am

You don't know how deep my love is for
you.

You're my love, Reno.

Really sucks, Dad.

My Lord King Bickington, I will surely
provide proof that it was none other

Lord Garth and his two sons that plotted
to compromise their love through

blackmail. Yeah, right.

Proof. Might just have to have done a
little investigating.

Well, no.

you didn't read.

Lord God, you blackmailed my wife and
daughter into having illicit sex.

How dare you?

We really hated it, Dad.

But we did it for you.

Enough, enough.

I tell you to be my king.

In order to protect you from the
terrible hurt, your wife and daughter

to perform horrible sex.

What a fool

I was to have such little faith.

Once again, well -caught result.

The beauty and the beast.

One happy family.