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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,730 (anticipatory music) 2 00:00:11,310 --> 00:00:13,480 - [Ghostly Voice] Killjoy! 3 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:26,050 (lasers exploding) (epic orchestral music) 4 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,000 - No, no! 5 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:42,170 (alarm blaring) 6 00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:43,000 Take me! 7 00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:45,570 (record scratching) 8 00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:46,840 - [Batty Voiceover] Hold on there, fish breath. 9 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:47,810 - [Killjoy Voiceover] I'm having a moment 10 00:00:47,810 --> 00:00:49,410 here Batty, what the fuck? 11 00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:52,980 - [Batty Voiceover] Are you doing dis, starin' near da end? 12 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:55,420 Start at da beginning, maggot head! 13 00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,450 - [Killjoy Voiceover] Batty, I just wanna cut to the chase. 14 00:00:57,450 --> 00:00:59,320 You know, a real dramatic moment comforting 15 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,920 a dying loved one. 16 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,990 - [Batty Voiceover] Dat ain't even me. 17 00:01:02,990 --> 00:01:06,030 Just start at da beginning. Okay? 18 00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:07,400 - [Killjoy Voiceover] Ugh, fine! 19 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,270 Way to kill the moment, fairy tits. 20 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,930 (ominous music) 21 00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:43,030 (heavy breathing) (coughing) 22 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,770 - Is this thing really necessary? 23 00:01:47,770 --> 00:01:49,100 - It's for your own good, sir! 24 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,110 - Get this freakin' thing off of me! 25 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:53,510 Get outta here! I don't need ya for this! 26 00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:55,840 I can get my own self ready. 27 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,950 Got to do everything myself around here! 28 00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:01,880 But this used to be bigger. 29 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,950 I didn't used to have fly-aways when I had good help! 30 00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:08,060 - [Killjoy Voiceover] Ah, life. 31 00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:10,730 Didn't turn out the way I expected. 32 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,060 Mortality sucks. 33 00:02:13,430 --> 00:02:16,700 Once, I was a demon prince, top clown in Hell 34 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:19,200 with a thousand different names! 35 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,370 Then came along the one that got away. 36 00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:27,780 - No! 37 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,510 - [Killjoy Voiceover] They put me on trial. 38 00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:30,580 - Order! 39 00:02:30,580 --> 00:02:31,750 - [Killjoy Voiceover] Me! 40 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,350 Well, after a daring escape-- 41 00:02:33,350 --> 00:02:34,320 (tires screech) 42 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,820 - [Batty] What? Tell da truth! 43 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,560 - [Killjoy Voiceover] With a little help from my posse, 44 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,260 I escaped from Hell! 45 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:46,030 And finally had made it to Earth. 46 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,800 (laughing) 47 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,610 Where I lorded over the quivering masses! 48 00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:59,340 Yes, I was their god! 49 00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:03,240 - [Crowd] Killjoy! Killjoy! Killjoy! 50 00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:06,810 (slaps) 51 00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:09,380 - [Batty Voiceover] Snap out of it! 52 00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:12,050 (ominous music) 53 00:04:12,550 --> 00:04:15,620 - [Killjoy] What do you mean red? What's red? 54 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,520 - You're in the red. Your accounts. 55 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,920 - I don't follow. 56 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,460 - You've got to start bringing in some money, baby. 57 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,390 This place is running on fumes and 58 00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:22,890 I can't get you any more credit. 59 00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:26,430 - Oh for fuck's sake, I'm selling, okay? I'm selling! 60 00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:27,630 What's wrong with my merch? 61 00:04:27,630 --> 00:04:30,060 Look, I got Killjoy t-shirts! 62 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,730 And can't forget Killjoy the movie! 63 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,470 - You made a movie? 64 00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:36,870 - Hell yeah, we made a movie! We even made a sequel! 65 00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:38,010 Although the guy who played me in 66 00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:41,210 part two was a little too Hollywood. 67 00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:42,040 But wait, wait! 68 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,510 I'm writing my memoirs! 69 00:04:43,510 --> 00:04:47,020 And what about these Killjoy condoms? Huh? 70 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,120 Killjoy artisanal vodka! 71 00:04:52,590 --> 00:04:56,420 Potatoes grown in vegan Brooklynites beds! 72 00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:58,760 - It's empty! Killjoy, baby, we can't be seeing this shit. 73 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,290 And you got sponsors to think about. 74 00:05:00,290 --> 00:05:03,260 Adam and Eve, Ebee's Dispensary, Bonecrusher? 75 00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:05,330 - Ah, that t-shirt doesn't even look like me! 76 00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:06,700 - It's not all about you. 77 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:07,540 - Ow. 78 00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:10,940 How am I supposed to remember all these sponsors, huh? 79 00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:12,340 What the fuck am I supposed to do? 80 00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:14,680 - I don't know, get some baseball caps. 81 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,910 And start selling ice cream, you need cash. 82 00:05:16,910 --> 00:05:18,950 - I sold some swag last week! 83 00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:22,080 - I know, I used the money to pay my bill. 84 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,690 And you still owe me! 85 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:27,560 - Oh, you sniveling idiot, I'll crush you! 86 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,330 I'll crush you and crush you and crush you! 87 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,160 - Stop it. 88 00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:34,160 - My hammer! 89 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,860 - You need a new image. You need to rebrand. 90 00:05:35,860 --> 00:05:36,800 I mean, you got a good show, but 91 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,000 it's gettin' a little stale. 92 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,930 Not to mention the fans miss Batty Boop. 93 00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:42,000 - Oh, I wouldn't mention that name! 94 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,170 - And start selling ice cream, baby. 95 00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:49,640 - Where am I supposed to get eyes that scream? 96 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,780 - [Freakshow] We miss Batty. 97 00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:55,950 - Oh-Ho-Ho, the mime speaks! Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap! 98 00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,520 That's all ya do anymore! What's up with that? 99 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,420 I thought you were a 100 00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:02,860 mime! 101 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:06,260 - I'm reinventing myself, that's my schtick! 102 00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:08,600 Freakshow, the talking mime! 103 00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:12,930 - That is the stupidest goddamn thing I've ever heard. 104 00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,900 - I ain't stopping now! 105 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,740 - Oh, I'm so smart 'cause I went 106 00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:19,410 back to school and got my degree! 107 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:20,940 Well, listen, your education 108 00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:23,750 doesn't impress me, poindexter! 109 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:27,120 Yale. (spits) What a dive. 110 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,780 You really wanna show me you're smart? 111 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,020 You're gonna go find some of this 112 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:33,890 "eyes scream" shit she's talkin' about. 113 00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:35,990 - Just get yourself ready for tonight's show! 114 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:37,790 We have a special guest. 115 00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:39,630 - Shut up! Alright? 116 00:06:39,630 --> 00:06:43,800 Look, what does the little guy gotta say about all this? 117 00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:46,530 (gasps) 118 00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,570 Where'd he go? What happened? 119 00:06:48,570 --> 00:06:51,340 - I don't know! He just left! 120 00:06:51,340 --> 00:06:53,470 - Damn it, I always liked him better. 121 00:06:53,470 --> 00:06:55,510 - Oh, fuck off. 122 00:06:55,510 --> 00:06:57,950 - Just tellin' it like it is. 123 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:03,180 And you? You, ya overstuffed shit sausage! 124 00:07:06,690 --> 00:07:08,690 What do you gotta say about yourself, huh? 125 00:07:08,690 --> 00:07:11,860 Oh, nothin' right? 'Cause you're useless! 126 00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:14,130 (mumbling) 127 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:27,210 Punchy, I don't understand a fuckin' word ya just said. 128 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,010 - Be happy. 129 00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:33,750 (laughs) - Be happy? 130 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:37,990 Great advice! Yeah, that's gonna solve everything, huh? 131 00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:41,290 Oh, I'll just be happy! I got the IRS on my ass! 132 00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:43,690 I got immigration comin' after me! 133 00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:45,160 - Amigra! 134 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,900 - Yeah, amigra! Not to mention Homeland Security! 135 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:50,230 Donald Trump made us a talking point! 136 00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:52,300 We're undocumented! 137 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:56,470 (sighs) Who else could after us now? 138 00:07:57,740 --> 00:08:01,340 (fast-paced, ominous music) 139 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,270 - I demand to know the meaning of this. 140 00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,440 Why am I here? 141 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,850 - You let Killjoy escape. 142 00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:43,950 The exact same charge Killjoy is guilty of. 143 00:08:43,950 --> 00:08:45,520 All because you could not stand 144 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,090 to be touched by a little girl. 145 00:08:49,190 --> 00:08:52,360 - She was so innocent. Sweet. Virginal. 146 00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:58,200 It was disgusting, completely repellent! 147 00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:03,540 - Oh, shut up, that's nothing. 148 00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:06,770 - Right, have you heard of Log Jamming? 149 00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:09,840 - Scribe, is that you? 150 00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:13,920 - I, uh, yes it is actually. 151 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,620 - You're my judge? 152 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:18,490 - Yeah, how 'bout that? Good, eh? 153 00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:20,520 - How dare you be my judge you-- 154 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:24,890 - Excuse me, I was voted in fair and square! 155 00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:28,400 Besides you had me dressed in a bed sheet, you old cunt. 156 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,860 - Oh, this is good! 157 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,430 - Oh, stop it, boys. I have an appointment in five. 158 00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:34,270 Let's get this wrapped up, shall we? 159 00:09:34,270 --> 00:09:35,240 - Fine. 160 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,340 - Can I read the sentence? 161 00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:38,710 - No, you can't. It's my job. 162 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:41,940 You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this. 163 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:43,810 - Come on, come on, come on! 164 00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:44,680 - I said no! 165 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:45,980 - This is so annoying. 166 00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:48,950 Scribe, just let the little shit do it. 167 00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:52,890 - Alright! Bob, you're such a tedious twat. 168 00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:54,360 If you weren't the most powerful being 169 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,190 in existence, I'd smite you. 170 00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:59,330 (sighs) - [Woman] Get on with it, Bob. 171 00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:01,700 - Okay! (clears throat) 172 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:03,760 We, the Demonic Tribunal of Three, 173 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,940 find the accused, the accursed, the foul Beelzebub, 174 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:12,670 guilty of lapsing in his duties as Arch Devil. 175 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,580 Allowing the fiend Killjoy to escape. 176 00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:19,180 - This is bloody lame. 177 00:10:19,180 --> 00:10:20,610 - Let him finish! 178 00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:26,520 - You, Beelzebub are to be stripped of your horns. 179 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:30,690 (laser blasts) (screams) 180 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,000 You are demoted from Devil to mere Demon. 181 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:47,580 And your membership to Hell's Nightclub and Spa is revoked! 182 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,350 - I demand a chance to redeem myself! 183 00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:54,750 To avenge myself! 184 00:10:56,250 --> 00:11:00,920 - Well, Beelze-baby. What do you have in mind then? 185 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,920 - Let me bring his soul back. 186 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,190 Let me deliver Killjoy to you! 187 00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:08,560 - Killjoy's on Earth. 188 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:11,770 You have no jurisdiction in that realm. 189 00:11:11,770 --> 00:11:15,040 - Grant me a ship, a massive spaceship. 190 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,510 - A battleship? 191 00:11:19,770 --> 00:11:22,510 - Yes and passage to outer space. 192 00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:24,980 - I say yes. 193 00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:30,280 - Alright. 194 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:35,220 Now, Beelze-boob, your mission? 195 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:41,600 Lure Killjoy back from Earth. Capture him in this orb. 196 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,800 And bring him before us! 197 00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:52,740 - Why am I surrounded by idiots? 198 00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:55,680 (sighs) 199 00:12:00,710 --> 00:12:03,480 I'm mother fuckin' Killjoy. 200 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,520 - We're live in two minutes. 201 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:09,090 - Yeah, yeah, yeah we're live, we're alive. 202 00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:10,360 It's show time! 203 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:15,200 (upbeat Killjoy theme music) 204 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:23,640 Welcome to Psycho Circus! (laughs) 205 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,170 On tonight's show, we have a very special guest! 206 00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:29,340 Dr. Tein Ross, author of Koulrophobia, 207 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,980 Killjoy and Other Delusions. 208 00:12:32,980 --> 00:12:35,350 Look at that! He spelled "coulropohbia" with a "K"! 209 00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:37,050 How fuckin' clever? 210 00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:38,220 So anyway, I-- 211 00:12:40,190 --> 00:12:42,890 What? What do you want? What? 212 00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:44,930 Titty twister? Karate chop stuff? 213 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,630 It doesn't make any sense. 214 00:12:46,630 --> 00:12:48,130 - Top 10, dumbass! 215 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,430 - Oh, yeah, top 10! 216 00:12:50,430 --> 00:12:52,970 Why didn't you just say so, shit for brains? 217 00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:56,370 Okay, uh, it's time for tonight's top 10! 218 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,470 (playful circus music) 219 00:13:09,450 --> 00:13:11,420 Tonight's top 10 is top 10 reasons 220 00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:14,020 that Batty Boop left the posse. 221 00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:19,730 Alright, alright. Top 10 reasons Batty Boop left the posse! 222 00:13:19,730 --> 00:13:23,460 To be read by Batty Boop. What the fuck? 223 00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:25,330 What the fuck? 224 00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:29,770 (cheers) (whistles) 225 00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:32,540 Okay, alright, alright, whatever. 226 00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:36,410 (laughs) Number 10! 227 00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:42,080 - Fish breath spends more time on his hair, than I do. 228 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,190 (rimshot) (audience applause) 229 00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:47,860 - Uh, oh god, okay. Number nine. 230 00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:51,290 - Dental work. Those teeth! 231 00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:55,800 - Number eight. 232 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,970 - When I said cream pie, I had somethin' else in mind. 233 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,640 (gags) - Number seven. 234 00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:08,280 - The thawed asshole! 235 00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:11,210 (audience applause) (laughter) 236 00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:12,980 - Number six. 237 00:14:12,980 --> 00:14:14,320 - Tongue fungus. 238 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:17,920 - Number five! 239 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:20,520 - Immigration status. 240 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,860 (rimshot) 241 00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:24,190 - Four. 242 00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:25,430 - Finger snaps! 243 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,530 - Number three. 244 00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:34,540 - You let your only victim get away! 245 00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,010 - That zeely is fast! She's got moxy or somethin'! 246 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,810 She's got like frickin' crazy legs and, alright, 247 00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,740 you know what, number two. 248 00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:44,280 - You fuckin' went to Shivers and Quivers 249 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,850 wedding without me! 250 00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:48,780 - You weren't invited! 251 00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:54,760 I mean, uh, oh-ho-ho, hey, whoa, that sure was fun! 252 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:56,990 (sighs) 253 00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,090 And the number one reason why Batty Boop 254 00:14:59,090 --> 00:15:01,100 is no longer in the clown posse. 255 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,860 (drum roll) 256 00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:05,030 - Fish breath! 257 00:15:07,670 --> 00:15:09,040 - Fish breath? 258 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:13,210 (audience applause (cheers) 259 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:18,150 - What was that? Who wrote this shit, huh? 260 00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:21,480 This is awful! I'm surrounded by morons! 261 00:15:24,150 --> 00:15:26,220 Just go on with this shit. 262 00:15:26,220 --> 00:15:29,890 (upbeat Killjoy theme song) 263 00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:39,830 Who was that bitch? Batty Boop? More like Batty Poop. 264 00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:41,840 (audience laughter) Anyway on with the show! 265 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,240 Tonight's special guest is Dr. Tein Ross! 266 00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:51,610 - Thank you, thank you! So great to be here. 267 00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:52,650 - Yeah, it's great to have you on the show. 268 00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,110 - Oh, thank you for having me. 269 00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:55,580 - You're welcome. 270 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:58,050 Now, you have not seen the show before, have you? 271 00:15:58,050 --> 00:16:00,250 - No, I have to admit, I haven't seen it. 272 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,390 (audience boos) But I am happy to be here! 273 00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:05,730 - So you're here to promote your book. 274 00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:08,960 Here, are you gettin' this, Toady? You got it? Good. 275 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,470 Koulrophobia, Killjoy and Other Delusions. 276 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,640 - Yes. 277 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,840 - Yes and in this book, you claim, among other things 278 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:24,010 that Killjoy is a "pernicious figment of imagination". 279 00:16:24,910 --> 00:16:26,910 - A kind of mass hysteria! 280 00:16:26,910 --> 00:16:28,280 - Dude, I'm right here. 281 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,780 - What originally manifest in one patient, 282 00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:33,350 quickly spread like a virus. 283 00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:36,760 Infecting anyone who came in contact with Patient Zero. 284 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,560 A young, co-ed from Miscatonic University. 285 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,830 - The one that got away. 286 00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:43,360 - She escaped, killing a police detective, 287 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,500 a security guard and injuring another. 288 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:47,300 - Hey! Don't give her credit for 289 00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,900 our kills, ya fuckin' moron! 290 00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:50,900 I'm Killjoy! 291 00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:56,180 (audience laughter) 292 00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:59,610 - The girl may have embellished on this urban legend, 293 00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:02,380 but I'm the one who officially named the syndrome. 294 00:17:02,380 --> 00:17:05,820 Killjoy Disease, an irrational belief in an evil clown 295 00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:09,460 with symptoms of chronic laughter and insomnia. 296 00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:11,830 - Alright, alright, hold on a second, Doc. 297 00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:14,190 Pump the brakes, okay? 'Cause you know what? 298 00:17:14,190 --> 00:17:17,230 Oh! It looks like our time is up! 299 00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:19,000 - But I was just getting to the good stuff. 300 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,870 - Oh, we're gettin' to the good stuff alright. 301 00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:23,870 (claps) 302 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,240 - Whoa, cool. 303 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,910 - No, not cool. 304 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:34,580 As a matter of fact, it's gonna get really hot. 305 00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:38,020 - Well, I'm just, I'm just happy to be on the show. 306 00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:40,020 These restraints are really tight. 307 00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:42,490 They're kinda turning me on a little! 308 00:17:42,490 --> 00:17:44,990 - Yeah, Batty, uh, turn us on! 309 00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:49,460 - Sure, thing, fish head. 310 00:17:49,460 --> 00:17:50,900 - You're kidding? 311 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:53,670 - We're gonna do a little shock therapy, Doc! 312 00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:57,440 - Wait, wait, wait! This won't work! 313 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,640 You need an electrolyte if you're gonna shock somebody! 314 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,840 Like salt water. I am not ready! 315 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,750 - Doc, you're sweating! 316 00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:10,020 - No, no! 317 00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:17,360 (electricity zapping) 318 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,270 (audience applause) 319 00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:31,210 - That was the shocking conclusion to yet another 320 00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:34,110 episode of Killjoy's Psycho Circus! 321 00:18:35,510 --> 00:18:38,580 Join us next week, when our guest (laughs) 322 00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:41,720 will be actor, writer, philanthropist, Trent-- 323 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,950 (gagging) 324 00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:48,160 How to do you pronounce that name? 325 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,260 What, no? Okay, you know what? 326 00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:52,290 Now a word from our sponsors! 327 00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:56,000 (upbeat Killjoy theme) 328 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,800 - If you're looking for weed, grass, 329 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,300 kush, pooch, stems, chemicals? 330 00:19:01,470 --> 00:19:04,200 Go to one of our lousy competitors. 331 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,770 Don't be drab and dreary! 332 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:10,680 Visit Ebee's Magical Weed Dispensary and get cheery! 333 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,480 - It's the happiest shit! 334 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,720 - [Doctor] Credit cards and trades, strictly unacceptable. 335 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,180 We give you-- 336 00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:20,350 - Well that show was another disaster. 337 00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:22,720 - Hi, fish head! 338 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:28,300 - It's "fish breath"! And who the fuck are you? 339 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,700 - I'm Batty Boop! Don't you recognize me? 340 00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:34,100 - Who the fuck is this? 341 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,670 - Her name is Louanne. 342 00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:38,870 - I'm Batty Poop! Poop, poop, poop, poop! 343 00:19:38,870 --> 00:19:42,210 - We hired her this morning. You need a female co-host. 344 00:19:42,210 --> 00:19:43,440 Batty is perfect! 345 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,310 - This ain't Batty, alright? 346 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,350 This freakshow, pardon the expression, 347 00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:50,680 has turned into a real train wreck! 348 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,150 - Train wreck? 349 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,420 - Yeah, train wreck, look I appreciate your, uh, 350 00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:57,090 demented personality, okay? 351 00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:58,660 But you're not Batty. 352 00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:01,730 The real Batty had teeth. Everywhere. 353 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,900 And I mean everywhere! 354 00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:06,600 - She's the only thing we've got! 355 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,340 You need a co-host. 'Cause sexy ain't you! 356 00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:14,640 - Hey, I'm damn sexy! I resent that statement! 357 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,140 And you were weak, timid and lame. 358 00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:18,910 - But I can be crazy! 359 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,590 - Stop trying to be Batty! 360 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,320 - Ah, but I am Batty! 361 00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:31,360 - Batshit crazy maybe! But you are not her! 362 00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:34,490 (alarm rings) 363 00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:36,030 (thuds) 364 00:20:36,030 --> 00:20:38,600 - I quit as soon as I get paid! 365 00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:43,600 - Killjoy? 366 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,110 - Yes, my corporate overlord? 367 00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:48,780 - You kinky little fuckin' smurf. 368 00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:50,810 I know what you're up to over there. 369 00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:52,350 I'm a fan of the show, dude. 370 00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:54,110 That wasn't Batty Boop! 371 00:20:54,110 --> 00:20:56,950 That was some other crazy bitch. Louanne? 372 00:20:56,950 --> 00:21:00,920 - Louanne? Who is this Louanne of which you speak? 373 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,120 - Don't piss in my ear and tell 374 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,820 me that it's rainin', stupid. 375 00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:06,130 As you're main supporting sponsor, 376 00:21:06,130 --> 00:21:07,390 I expect you to treat me with a 377 00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:09,660 little more fuckin' respect, bro. 378 00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:11,200 How dare you! 379 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,270 We have some stipulations to our business agreement. 380 00:21:14,270 --> 00:21:16,900 No huffing, snorting or butt fucking. 381 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,840 And you're doin' all three to me right now! 382 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,410 God damn it! 383 00:21:20,410 --> 00:21:22,580 - Man, you're a real drag. 384 00:21:23,780 --> 00:21:25,310 - I'm over here, wantin' to get higher than Jesus 385 00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:27,210 and you're pissin' me off! 386 00:21:27,210 --> 00:21:29,480 Now you listen to me, you little fuck. 387 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,390 I want you to get rid of that crazy bitch 388 00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:32,950 and find the other crazy bitch! 389 00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:34,120 - You mean Batty? 390 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:37,060 - Did I stutter, mother fucker? Get to it! 391 00:21:37,060 --> 00:21:37,890 - Ow. 392 00:21:40,860 --> 00:21:43,800 How the hell am I gonna find Batty? 393 00:21:47,030 --> 00:21:48,940 I want off this planet. 394 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,940 (spaceship roars) 395 00:22:01,050 --> 00:22:05,050 - There you are, Batty Boop. I always liked her. 396 00:22:06,220 --> 00:22:09,660 She knows where her priorities are. Next! 397 00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:14,290 Next is Punchy the Hobo Clown. 398 00:22:14,290 --> 00:22:16,330 He was invoked by the demon Behemoth. 399 00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:18,070 He's clearly the muscle. 400 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:20,530 He was once an obedient servant and then rebelled 401 00:22:20,530 --> 00:22:23,700 and is now the head of the Evil Clown Union. 402 00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:25,570 - What has he done on Earth? 403 00:22:25,570 --> 00:22:27,640 - Since surfacing, he's had a few jobs. 404 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,710 He's an occasional professional wrestler. 405 00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:32,010 He still meets with the Communist Party and 406 00:22:32,010 --> 00:22:34,610 occasionally partakes in parkour. 407 00:22:34,610 --> 00:22:36,050 - Parkour? 408 00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:38,290 - He's not very good at it. 409 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,490 Next is Freakshow the Mime. He was invoked by Gemini. 410 00:22:42,490 --> 00:22:44,120 They were conjoined twins, attached 411 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,160 by a long umbilical cord. 412 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,300 - Were conjoined twins? 413 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,630 - Freakshow was originally a host to a smaller brother, 414 00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:53,200 but he was destroyed by a handful of salt. 415 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,570 He then rebuilt a bionic brother, but he has gone missing. 416 00:22:57,570 --> 00:22:59,570 Since then, he's gone back to school and 417 00:22:59,570 --> 00:23:02,310 received a very rare scholarship to Yale. 418 00:23:02,310 --> 00:23:04,310 - I see. And our target? 419 00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:06,350 - Killjoy. 420 00:23:07,710 --> 00:23:09,520 For centuries he longed to live amongst 421 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,290 the humans and after only a couple short visits to Earth, 422 00:23:12,290 --> 00:23:14,620 he wanted to make the move there permanently. 423 00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:17,090 - After he got away from me, stole my inner dimensional 424 00:23:17,090 --> 00:23:20,760 elevator and blasted himself to the surface. 425 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:25,370 - What did he do with that elevator? 426 00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:27,300 Oh, it was quite an amazing machine. 427 00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:30,200 - Beats me. Continue, Jezebel. 428 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,010 - Well, since surfacing, Killjoy has has spotty luck. 429 00:23:33,010 --> 00:23:34,510 But he recently settled on a late night 430 00:23:34,510 --> 00:23:37,510 variety show he calls Psycho Circus. 431 00:23:39,310 --> 00:23:41,110 - [Beelzebub] How will I get him up here? 432 00:23:41,110 --> 00:23:43,920 - Why don't we send our demon minions down to get him? 433 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,550 - Because he's too strong. 434 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:48,860 And he still has Freakshow and Punchy. 435 00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:51,260 Punchy's the dangerous one. 436 00:23:51,260 --> 00:23:54,530 - We're in the most powerful spaceship in the universe. 437 00:23:54,530 --> 00:23:58,030 Let's start blowing shit up! First, Paris. 438 00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:02,600 - That's a good idea, my busty underling. 439 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,040 Only we will have to do more than destroy the world. 440 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,140 We have to take Killjoy off his game. 441 00:24:10,510 --> 00:24:12,180 Make him unbalanced. 442 00:24:14,750 --> 00:24:15,820 - Unbalanced? 443 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:18,720 I have an idea. 444 00:24:21,050 --> 00:24:24,690 - [Beelzebub] Hmm, do you think it will work? 445 00:24:24,690 --> 00:24:27,390 - Don't underestimate the power of jealousy. 446 00:24:27,390 --> 00:24:30,730 I bet she hasn't seen her impostor yet. 447 00:24:30,730 --> 00:24:34,900 (typing) (Killjoy humming) 448 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:45,810 - Oh, fuck yeah. 449 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:49,750 Yeah! 450 00:24:51,220 --> 00:24:54,450 Hmmm. (chuckles) 451 00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:55,290 Yeah. 452 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,170 You know what? 453 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:09,500 Oh yeah, just do this, let's do it, come on. 454 00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:10,500 Oh! Oh yeah! 455 00:25:11,670 --> 00:25:14,510 (Killjoy moaning) 456 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,440 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 457 00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:21,580 (Killjoy moaning) 458 00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:23,920 - We're on in 10 minutes! 459 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,090 (record scratching) 460 00:25:25,090 --> 00:25:26,390 (glass shatters) 461 00:25:26,390 --> 00:25:28,820 - Can't you knock before you barge in on somebody 462 00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:30,820 who is obviously look at 463 00:25:33,730 --> 00:25:34,560 dimware! 464 00:25:36,060 --> 00:25:39,700 - Psycho Circus is waitin', we have Trent Haaga on tonight. 465 00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:41,770 - Oh, that mother fucker. 466 00:25:43,270 --> 00:25:46,510 (upbeat Killjoy theme) 467 00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:55,720 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 468 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,390 Welcome to the Psycho Circus. 469 00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:01,050 Listen, we got a great show for you people tonight. 470 00:26:01,050 --> 00:26:04,860 Yeah, later on, Batty Boop here is gonna juggle a ball! 471 00:26:04,860 --> 00:26:06,430 You know, normally she can juggle more than one 472 00:26:06,430 --> 00:26:09,500 but not with her hands if you know what I'm sayin'! 473 00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:11,430 (laughs) 474 00:26:11,430 --> 00:26:14,370 Yeah, real quick on the uptake, that one. 475 00:26:14,370 --> 00:26:15,800 You know what? Screw the top 10. 476 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,600 We're just gonna go straight to the interview. 477 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,370 Welcome, Trent Haaga! 478 00:26:22,140 --> 00:26:24,710 (applause) 479 00:26:24,710 --> 00:26:25,880 Yes, yes, yes! 480 00:26:27,910 --> 00:26:29,620 - Hey, how's it goin', man? 481 00:26:29,620 --> 00:26:31,890 - Not too bad. How's it goin' with you? 482 00:26:31,890 --> 00:26:34,490 - It's all good, it's all good, can't complain. 483 00:26:34,490 --> 00:26:36,120 Cannot complain at all. 484 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:38,630 - Great, okay, so, uh, I have a question. 485 00:26:38,630 --> 00:26:39,830 - Alright, ask away! 486 00:26:39,830 --> 00:26:41,900 - I will, I will, just give me a second. 487 00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:44,130 - Ask your question, don't be shy. 488 00:26:44,130 --> 00:26:45,500 - I'm not shy, mother fucker! 489 00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:46,870 I'm tryin' to ask the question! 490 00:26:46,870 --> 00:26:49,000 Quit interrupting me! 491 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,500 - Just ask the question, puss. 492 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,040 - Okay, alright, I will. 493 00:26:56,210 --> 00:26:59,710 So how in the fuck do you pronounce your name? 494 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,080 Do you pronounce both the A's separately? 495 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:07,220 I mean is it "Ha-a-ga"? Or "Haa (coughs up phlegm) 496 00:27:07,220 --> 00:27:08,490 I don't know! I don't know! 497 00:27:08,490 --> 00:27:10,460 So it's fuckin' killin' me in the dressing room! 498 00:27:10,460 --> 00:27:12,130 - Is that the best you got, huh? 499 00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:14,690 Fuck you, that's how you pronounce my name! 500 00:27:14,690 --> 00:27:15,600 How do you like that? 501 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,600 (laughing) 502 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,200 - I don't like it at all, as a matter of fact. 503 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,570 So let's talk about your movies. 504 00:27:23,570 --> 00:27:25,140 Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but you didn't 505 00:27:25,140 --> 00:27:29,310 actually play Killjoy in the first Killjoy movie, did you? 506 00:27:30,610 --> 00:27:33,380 - No, that was, uh, Angel Vargas. 507 00:27:33,380 --> 00:27:37,250 - Yeah, I know, he did such a wonderful job. 508 00:27:37,250 --> 00:27:39,490 - Really? Are you fucking kidding me? 509 00:27:39,490 --> 00:27:42,090 - I'm serious, I thought he nailed it! 510 00:27:42,090 --> 00:27:43,790 - He doesn't even look like you! 511 00:27:43,790 --> 00:27:47,660 - He got the essence right. The soul of Killjoy! 512 00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:51,600 - (laughs) Soul? You got no soul! 513 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,600 You're nothin' but a sad patchwork of whiny fart jokes! 514 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,140 - I can't argue that, but, uh, I couldn't 515 00:27:57,140 --> 00:27:59,010 have played Killjoy better myself. 516 00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:00,940 - I could play you better than you! 517 00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:02,440 - Bullshit! 518 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,380 - Bullshit? Bullshit, look, look at what you're doin'! 519 00:28:04,380 --> 00:28:05,980 Look at what you're doin'. 520 00:28:05,980 --> 00:28:07,150 - What? What am I doin'? 521 00:28:07,150 --> 00:28:08,480 - I don't know, what am I doing? 522 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:09,420 - What? - What? 523 00:28:09,420 --> 00:28:10,880 - Man, you're such a douche. 524 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:12,120 - Man, you're such a douche. 525 00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:13,290 - Look, all you're doin' now is copying me! 526 00:28:13,290 --> 00:28:14,450 - You're just copying me! 527 00:28:14,450 --> 00:28:15,990 - And doin' a crappy job of it too. 528 00:28:15,990 --> 00:28:18,460 - Well, yeah, that was the acting part. 529 00:28:18,460 --> 00:28:21,760 - What, so, crappy acting is part of being Killjoy? 530 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,130 - Yeah, that's my take on it. 531 00:28:24,130 --> 00:28:27,270 And that's how I get to the soul of Killjoy. 532 00:28:27,270 --> 00:28:28,900 - [Audience] Ah! 533 00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:31,910 - Thank you, thank you. Look, you're easy! 534 00:28:31,910 --> 00:28:33,910 As a matter of fact, everything you're doin' right now? 535 00:28:33,910 --> 00:28:36,110 I could do it! I could do it better than you! 536 00:28:36,110 --> 00:28:37,510 - Not everything! 537 00:28:37,510 --> 00:28:38,850 - [Audience] Oh! 538 00:28:40,250 --> 00:28:44,050 - Oh, great, it's the old pie tin to the face gag! Yeah! 539 00:28:44,050 --> 00:28:46,690 Comical, but a little lame. 540 00:28:46,690 --> 00:28:47,520 Give me that! 541 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:48,760 - Give those back! 542 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:49,920 - No, no, I got this, I got this. 543 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,030 Alright, hey, hey, check it out, everybody. 544 00:28:52,030 --> 00:28:54,190 It's Killjoy, killing Trent Haaga! 545 00:28:54,190 --> 00:28:56,900 (head splatter) 546 00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:59,600 (Killjoy laughs) (audience cheers) 547 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:03,840 - He's right! That is exactly how I would've done it! 548 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,740 I'm having a bit of an existential moment here. 549 00:29:09,610 --> 00:29:12,780 Bravo! Bravo! (laughs) 550 00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:18,420 - [Killjoy Voiceover] And now, a word from our sponsor! 551 00:29:18,420 --> 00:29:19,550 - [Female Announcer] Why pick one? 552 00:29:19,550 --> 00:29:21,090 When you can have it all? 553 00:29:21,090 --> 00:29:25,530 At adamandeve.com, over 18,000 adult entertainment products. 554 00:29:25,530 --> 00:29:27,060 Massage oils, 555 00:29:27,060 --> 00:29:28,260 lingerie, 556 00:29:28,260 --> 00:29:30,960 or even something a little more adventurous. 557 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,870 Get 50 percent off almost any item. 558 00:29:37,570 --> 00:29:39,670 - I've never met anyone like you! 559 00:29:39,670 --> 00:29:41,110 - Oh, I hope not! 560 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,680 I hate sloppy seconds! 561 00:29:47,110 --> 00:29:49,120 - Wow, you're an animal. 562 00:29:50,780 --> 00:29:52,290 - You can say dat. 563 00:29:53,790 --> 00:29:54,620 Mmmm. 564 00:29:58,860 --> 00:30:00,590 You look scrumptious! 565 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,430 - I think I have to confess to something. 566 00:30:07,430 --> 00:30:09,070 - What's dat? 567 00:30:09,070 --> 00:30:11,240 - I debug code for a medical software company. 568 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,340 My pimp avatar's just my online profile. 569 00:30:13,340 --> 00:30:15,780 And when I said I was a player, 570 00:30:15,780 --> 00:30:17,710 I meant a video game player. 571 00:30:17,710 --> 00:30:19,710 - Oh yeah? That's great. 572 00:30:20,710 --> 00:30:22,350 Good for you. 573 00:30:22,350 --> 00:30:25,620 (upbeat Killjoy theme) 574 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,630 What da hell is dat? 575 00:30:41,230 --> 00:30:44,300 - Oh, it's Psycho Circus. Great show! 576 00:30:46,140 --> 00:30:47,870 Killjoy is awesome! 577 00:30:47,870 --> 00:30:49,610 - You watch dat shit? 578 00:30:50,810 --> 00:30:53,810 - Yeah! And he's got some crazy sidekicks. 579 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:57,980 There's Punchy, Freakshow and smokin' hot Batty Boop. 580 00:31:02,260 --> 00:31:04,920 (Killjoy theme) 581 00:31:07,260 --> 00:31:10,000 - Dat's not Batty Boop! 582 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,730 - Sure it is! 583 00:31:11,730 --> 00:31:13,400 Oh, man, she's sexy! 584 00:31:15,030 --> 00:31:18,370 I'd give my left nut just to tap that piece of ass! 585 00:31:18,370 --> 00:31:21,140 - You're gonna give more den dat! 586 00:31:22,180 --> 00:31:24,580 - What? Do you know her? 587 00:31:24,580 --> 00:31:26,310 - I am her, dumbshit! 588 00:31:28,620 --> 00:31:30,780 (choking) 589 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,860 (blood gurgling) (bones crunching) 590 00:31:40,860 --> 00:31:43,530 (ominous music) 591 00:31:46,430 --> 00:31:49,440 (spaceship rumbles) 592 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,420 - Captain, we're closing in on Earth. 593 00:32:05,420 --> 00:32:09,820 - I know that! Can't you give me some useful information? 594 00:32:09,820 --> 00:32:12,230 What else could we have been doing all this time 595 00:32:12,230 --> 00:32:14,730 but getting closer to Earth? 596 00:32:14,730 --> 00:32:16,460 - Orbiting Uranus. 597 00:32:16,460 --> 00:32:17,600 - What? 598 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:18,670 - Nothing. 599 00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:19,630 - What did you say? 600 00:32:19,630 --> 00:32:20,830 - Nothing! 601 00:32:20,830 --> 00:32:22,670 - Has Batty Boop seen this show yet? 602 00:32:22,670 --> 00:32:25,810 - Sure she has. And she's pissed. 603 00:32:25,810 --> 00:32:28,110 - Then we have to get her to Killjoy. 604 00:32:28,110 --> 00:32:29,840 Send her the magic mirror. 605 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,580 (computer beeps) 606 00:32:33,780 --> 00:32:37,680 - Dat two timin', pansy pickin', donkey fuckin', 607 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:43,290 toilet sittin', nail clippin', dish washin', gin kickin'. 608 00:32:48,660 --> 00:32:50,160 What the fa-yesus? 609 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:52,700 Magic mirror? Hmm. 610 00:32:54,770 --> 00:32:56,270 Looks like a trap. 611 00:32:57,900 --> 00:33:00,310 I ain't goin' near dat thing. 612 00:33:03,780 --> 00:33:05,450 (gasps) 613 00:33:05,450 --> 00:33:07,380 Oh! No! No fuckin' way! 614 00:33:12,890 --> 00:33:15,490 (mirrors hums) 615 00:33:24,330 --> 00:33:26,500 (snoring) 616 00:33:29,370 --> 00:33:32,410 - No, you're not, I'm mother fucking Killjoy. 617 00:33:32,410 --> 00:33:35,880 I'm Killjoy! I'm guilty as hell! 618 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,280 (electricity zaps) 619 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,350 (electricity zaps) 620 00:33:40,350 --> 00:33:42,980 Ah! What the fuck? Where am I? What happened? 621 00:33:42,980 --> 00:33:44,620 Where are my, what happened? What? 622 00:33:44,620 --> 00:33:46,890 Where is everybody? 623 00:33:46,890 --> 00:33:48,820 What the hell happened? 624 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,990 - We wrapped another show. 625 00:33:52,990 --> 00:33:57,160 - Really? Was I there? 'Cause I don't remember shit. 626 00:33:59,230 --> 00:34:02,900 Handy! Now where is that stupid clown? Handy! 627 00:34:04,940 --> 00:34:06,240 - Here, boss! 628 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,240 - Ah, god, cut that out! 629 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,610 I told you when I hired you, no more teleporting, okay? 630 00:34:15,250 --> 00:34:18,620 You're not a demonic clown anymore, you gotta try to fit in! 631 00:34:18,620 --> 00:34:21,020 - But I was just standing behind you! 632 00:34:21,020 --> 00:34:22,120 - Cut it out! 633 00:34:23,290 --> 00:34:25,990 I asked you to get me off of this planet. 634 00:34:25,990 --> 00:34:27,490 What have you been doin' about it? 635 00:34:27,490 --> 00:34:29,330 - I've been building a spaceship. 636 00:34:29,330 --> 00:34:30,260 Out of that rocket engine from 637 00:34:30,260 --> 00:34:32,400 the interdimensional elevator! 638 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:33,230 - Yeah? 639 00:34:33,230 --> 00:34:34,770 - Want me to show ya? 640 00:34:34,770 --> 00:34:35,600 - Okay! 641 00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:39,910 - Feast ya eyes on this! 642 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,640 (computer beeps) 643 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,910 - Oh, wow! How do I get in? 644 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,550 - Why you push the big red button and it's 645 00:34:49,550 --> 00:34:54,120 gonna transport the rumpus room into the rocket ship. 646 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,720 - You know what, Handy? 647 00:34:55,720 --> 00:34:59,430 I gotta hand it to ya, this is pretty awesome! 648 00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:02,560 Now I can finally get off this rock. 649 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:04,400 Could this have some weapons? 650 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,400 Like, you know, some lasers and shit? 651 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:11,700 - You want guns, boss? I know just the guys for you! 652 00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:14,770 (laughs) - Excellent. 653 00:35:17,510 --> 00:35:20,610 - This place is, like, so disgusting. 654 00:35:21,750 --> 00:35:24,450 Everybody's breath is really bad. 655 00:35:24,450 --> 00:35:27,290 (sighs) A mirror! 656 00:35:29,020 --> 00:35:30,520 Thank the heavens! 657 00:35:31,690 --> 00:35:33,860 Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the 658 00:35:33,860 --> 00:35:36,700 hottest Batty of them all? 659 00:35:36,700 --> 00:35:37,930 Surely it's me! 660 00:35:39,930 --> 00:35:43,270 Ugh, thank you, mirror, for being there. 661 00:35:45,610 --> 00:35:48,270 (playful music) 662 00:36:00,050 --> 00:36:01,250 Where's my bow? 663 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:04,260 (gasps) 664 00:36:04,260 --> 00:36:05,090 - You! 665 00:36:06,660 --> 00:36:07,860 - Me? 666 00:36:07,860 --> 00:36:11,060 - Yeah, you, ya homewreckin' flousy! 667 00:36:11,060 --> 00:36:13,800 How dare you horn in on my clown! 668 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,640 - No, no, no, no, I, like, am 669 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,340 not tryin' to go for Killjoy, I promise! 670 00:36:19,340 --> 00:36:23,040 I'm trying to get closer to his sponsor Lernell. 671 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,480 - Cut the crap. I seen ya stick your hips 672 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:31,820 and put your grubby paws all over fish breath! 673 00:36:31,820 --> 00:36:33,920 - He means nothing to me! 674 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:37,390 - Nothing? 675 00:36:37,390 --> 00:36:38,220 - Nuh-Uh. 676 00:36:39,660 --> 00:36:43,630 - Listen, pipsqueak, if I ever see you near Killjoy again, 677 00:36:45,130 --> 00:36:47,470 I'm gonna break you in half! 678 00:36:48,900 --> 00:36:50,000 - Oh, really? 679 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:55,470 If you see me again, you're gonna break me in half? 680 00:36:57,140 --> 00:37:00,980 - Oh, yeah. You can take dat to da bank! 681 00:37:00,980 --> 00:37:03,650 (playful music) 682 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:07,420 (grunts) (screams) 683 00:37:07,420 --> 00:37:10,290 (glass shatters) 684 00:37:10,290 --> 00:37:12,560 - I need like, uh, lasers and stuff. 685 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,960 And I need those worked on by next week, alright? 686 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:15,830 No excuses! 687 00:37:15,830 --> 00:37:17,400 - Sure thing, boss! 688 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,870 And if you need guns, remember to talk to my guys! 689 00:37:22,870 --> 00:37:25,200 - Right, right, right, yeah. 690 00:37:28,210 --> 00:37:30,610 What the fuck are you still doin' here? 691 00:37:30,610 --> 00:37:33,610 - Oh, I thought I'd rehearse. 692 00:37:33,610 --> 00:37:36,720 - Ah, you're takin' the job seriously? 693 00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:38,020 - No kidding. 694 00:37:38,020 --> 00:37:40,520 - Yeah, the makeup looks a lot better! 695 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,720 You really nailing that annoying accent! 696 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:46,130 It's like fingernails on a chalkboard! 697 00:37:46,130 --> 00:37:47,130 - Is dat so? 698 00:37:48,090 --> 00:37:49,300 - Yeah, if I didn't know better 699 00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:51,330 I'd say you were the real Batty! 700 00:37:51,330 --> 00:37:54,800 (smack) (grunts) 701 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,570 Batty Boop! It's you. 702 00:37:57,740 --> 00:38:00,240 - What tipped ya off, fish breath? 703 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:05,140 - Ow! (laughs nervously) It's so good to see ya! 704 00:38:05,140 --> 00:38:07,580 - Oh, now you're just throwin' me a line. 705 00:38:07,580 --> 00:38:09,350 - Well what did you expect me to say? 706 00:38:09,350 --> 00:38:11,550 "Oh, thank god you're here! Now I can continue 707 00:38:11,550 --> 00:38:15,720 on my dreadful, mind-numbing journey through abject misery?" 708 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:17,420 Would ya like that? 709 00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:21,590 - It wasn't all bad. We had some good times, you and me. 710 00:38:23,330 --> 00:38:26,600 - Yeah, but at what cost? At what cost? 711 00:38:27,770 --> 00:38:30,700 - You think you're the only one to suffer? 712 00:38:30,700 --> 00:38:33,110 You're not the easiest to live with. 713 00:38:33,110 --> 00:38:36,480 You attract trouble like flies to shit! 714 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,550 - Yeah, well then why did you keep stickin' around? 715 00:38:39,550 --> 00:38:41,280 - Because I love you. 716 00:38:43,150 --> 00:38:45,220 (groans) 717 00:38:46,650 --> 00:38:50,020 - That wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. 718 00:38:50,020 --> 00:38:51,960 - You love me too! 719 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,960 - Oh, low blow! Alright? 720 00:38:55,860 --> 00:38:57,460 - You do. Admit it! 721 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,100 - I admit nothing! 722 00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:04,200 - You need me! You said it yourself! 723 00:39:06,310 --> 00:39:07,240 - Oh, yeah! 724 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:08,410 I mean, yeah, I need you when 725 00:39:08,410 --> 00:39:10,840 I'm neck deep in shit and behind bars! 726 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,880 - What do ya think love is? 727 00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,750 - I needed you to get outta jail. 728 00:39:16,750 --> 00:39:18,280 - Oh! Is dat all? 729 00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:22,420 - Alright, well if you love me, then why did you leave? 730 00:39:23,860 --> 00:39:28,190 - Ya hooked up with Shivers and Quivers at their wedding! 731 00:39:28,190 --> 00:39:31,330 - Look, they invited me, they asked me their best man, 732 00:39:31,330 --> 00:39:32,870 they offered me a bunch of free booze. 733 00:39:32,870 --> 00:39:34,870 Come on, I've done worse! What gives? 734 00:39:34,870 --> 00:39:36,470 - What gives? 735 00:39:36,470 --> 00:39:39,240 You went without me! Dat's what gives! 736 00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:41,570 And ya slept with Shivers. 737 00:39:41,570 --> 00:39:43,340 - She was hot. 738 00:39:43,340 --> 00:39:44,910 - He was the groom! 739 00:39:46,410 --> 00:39:48,150 - That explains a lot. 740 00:39:48,150 --> 00:39:50,750 - I know you wanna be with me! 741 00:39:50,750 --> 00:39:51,680 - Stop pushing it! 742 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,550 - But you have to be with me! 743 00:39:54,550 --> 00:39:55,690 - I'm warning you! 744 00:39:55,690 --> 00:39:57,760 - It works both ways. 745 00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,760 (groans in agony) 746 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,930 - I'm sorry! Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? 747 00:40:05,970 --> 00:40:07,300 - Gettin' there. 748 00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:12,200 - It hurts. 749 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:13,510 (gasps) 750 00:40:13,510 --> 00:40:15,240 What is that? 751 00:40:15,240 --> 00:40:16,810 - It's blood! 752 00:40:16,810 --> 00:40:19,040 - Blood? No, no, that can't be! 753 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,710 - We're semi-mortal now. 754 00:40:21,710 --> 00:40:24,850 - But, but blood? That's bad! 755 00:40:24,850 --> 00:40:27,020 - Ya think dat's bad? 756 00:40:27,020 --> 00:40:29,360 Shnuckems, I feel different. 757 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:36,100 And the fuckin' makeup's comin' off. 758 00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:39,200 - Wait, wait, wait, what are you gettin' at? 759 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,600 - Baby cakes, we're changin'. 760 00:40:44,300 --> 00:40:45,810 I'm ovulating! 761 00:40:45,810 --> 00:40:47,940 - Okay, yeah, what is that? 762 00:40:47,940 --> 00:40:50,510 Like a political party or somethin'? 763 00:40:50,510 --> 00:40:54,410 - It means if we have sex, I could have a baby. 764 00:40:55,580 --> 00:40:59,190 - No more balloon animals and confetti? 765 00:40:59,190 --> 00:41:02,320 - Ya never had real sex, have you? 766 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:03,160 - Uh, no! 767 00:41:05,260 --> 00:41:06,760 - You're pathetic. 768 00:41:08,190 --> 00:41:11,030 - Hey, wait, wait, where ya goin'? Where ya goin'? 769 00:41:11,030 --> 00:41:13,700 (ominous music) 770 00:41:24,310 --> 00:41:27,080 - Everything is in place, master. 771 00:41:28,550 --> 00:41:32,590 The target is distracted. Soon he will come to you. 772 00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:35,090 All he needs is a little push. 773 00:41:36,190 --> 00:41:39,060 - Excellent. Be ready for our signal. 774 00:41:42,630 --> 00:41:45,230 Now we start blowing things up! 775 00:41:46,970 --> 00:41:48,600 - That's music to my ears. Computer? 776 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,600 - [Computer] What? What is it? 777 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,210 - Target Paris. 778 00:41:53,210 --> 00:41:55,640 - [Computer] Oh, my pleasure. 779 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,310 (ominous music) 780 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:04,950 - [Killjoy] What? That's ridiculous! 781 00:42:04,950 --> 00:42:07,590 I've never seen a bill like this! 782 00:42:07,590 --> 00:42:09,260 - You electrocute your guests and staff. 783 00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:11,320 What do you expect? 784 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,290 - But it's so much fun! 785 00:42:13,290 --> 00:42:16,430 Come on, Samantha, I gotsta kick ma kicks! 786 00:42:16,430 --> 00:42:18,900 - Start selling ice cream, everybody loves ice cream. 787 00:42:18,900 --> 00:42:22,170 Oh and one more thing, get Batty Boop back in the act. 788 00:42:22,170 --> 00:42:23,970 - How the hell am I gonna do that? 789 00:42:23,970 --> 00:42:26,310 She's not exactly thrilled about all this. 790 00:42:26,310 --> 00:42:28,210 - Woo her, romance her, buy her dinner, 791 00:42:28,210 --> 00:42:29,580 flowers or some shit. 792 00:42:29,580 --> 00:42:31,510 She's red blooded woman. 793 00:42:31,510 --> 00:42:32,980 - Yeah, well this is a new development. 794 00:42:32,980 --> 00:42:34,580 - One of our sponsors is Adam and Eve. 795 00:42:34,580 --> 00:42:36,020 You have some sample product, seduce her. 796 00:42:36,020 --> 00:42:38,780 - Yeah, well that's easier said than done. 797 00:42:38,780 --> 00:42:41,750 Because apparently, I've been doing it 798 00:42:41,750 --> 00:42:44,120 wrong all of these ages and I don't 799 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,890 understand how the mortals do it. 800 00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:50,000 Like that right? I don't know. 801 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,430 - You're in luck. 802 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:53,370 - Really? 803 00:42:55,100 --> 00:42:56,440 Thrill me. 804 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,840 - Not only am I an agent/accountant/manager/bookie, 805 00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,370 I'm also a pornographer. 806 00:43:00,370 --> 00:43:03,240 I keep these handy for pillowy soft clients like you. 807 00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:06,210 Call it an instructional video. 808 00:43:06,210 --> 00:43:08,480 It's from my fetish series. 809 00:43:09,380 --> 00:43:11,150 - [Killjoy] Log Jammin'? 810 00:43:11,150 --> 00:43:15,320 - You'll need this. Take this. Um, I'm gonna keep that. 811 00:43:20,690 --> 00:43:22,960 - Samantha, did anyone ever tell you that 812 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,630 you are a total buzz-kill? 813 00:43:25,630 --> 00:43:27,930 - I get that a lot. 814 00:43:27,930 --> 00:43:29,740 - [Freakshow] What is it? 815 00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:31,400 - It's a human porn. 816 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:34,570 - Isn't that dangerous? 817 00:43:34,570 --> 00:43:38,010 - Come on, we're blood thirsty demons, nothin' shocks us! 818 00:43:38,010 --> 00:43:40,650 - I suppose. But we never saw anything like this. 819 00:43:40,650 --> 00:43:42,980 - Oh buck up, you woos! 820 00:43:42,980 --> 00:43:45,620 We've been neck deep in blood and gore. 821 00:43:45,620 --> 00:43:48,350 We've eaten things that would make a billy goat puke! 822 00:43:48,350 --> 00:43:50,760 We were in the real shit in Nanhai! 823 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,190 (laughs) 824 00:43:53,190 --> 00:43:57,030 So, I think that we can handle a little porno. 825 00:44:00,170 --> 00:44:02,640 - Hi, I'm Tommy Pistol. 826 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,770 - Who's Tommy Pistol? 827 00:44:04,770 --> 00:44:07,340 - And this is the third video to Beginner's Series 828 00:44:07,340 --> 00:44:09,840 of Instructional Fetish Porn. 829 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,410 Following Rocks On, Rocks Off, Log Jamming! 830 00:44:17,450 --> 00:44:19,390 - Log jamming? 831 00:44:19,390 --> 00:44:20,890 - Yummy cans, mmm. 832 00:44:22,220 --> 00:44:24,460 - [Freakshow] I got a bad feeling about this. 833 00:44:24,460 --> 00:44:29,330 - Hi, Dyna Myte. Ready to show 'em how it's done? 834 00:44:29,330 --> 00:44:33,770 - Sure, Tommy. Let's do this, mother fuckin' shit! 835 00:44:33,770 --> 00:44:36,500 (spits) 836 00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:37,870 - Essential tools! 837 00:44:37,870 --> 00:44:39,100 - Safety first! 838 00:44:41,340 --> 00:44:42,170 Tarp! 839 00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,110 - Gloves are needed. 840 00:44:52,220 --> 00:44:53,390 - Open wide! 841 00:44:53,390 --> 00:44:57,060 (choking) (laughing) 842 00:44:57,060 --> 00:44:57,890 Yeah! 843 00:44:59,390 --> 00:45:01,830 - That was just a warm up! 844 00:45:01,830 --> 00:45:03,760 - Warmed up? What the hell? 845 00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,900 (laughing) (air pump sliding) 846 00:45:06,900 --> 00:45:08,330 (groans) 847 00:45:08,330 --> 00:45:12,340 - Put that in your fuckin' mouth! Yeah! 848 00:45:12,340 --> 00:45:16,410 - Make it stop, just make it stop, make it stop! 849 00:45:16,410 --> 00:45:19,380 - And this is log jamming! 850 00:45:19,380 --> 00:45:21,550 - Here's the close-up of it! 851 00:45:21,550 --> 00:45:22,780 - My eyes! 852 00:45:22,780 --> 00:45:25,050 - I can't take my eyes off of it! 853 00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,690 - Please make it stop! Please make it stop! 854 00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:33,960 - Well, isn't dis cute? 855 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:40,970 Y'all are pathetic. 856 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,870 - Hey, Batty, me and the fellas 857 00:45:45,870 --> 00:45:48,970 were just watchin' a little, um, uh. 858 00:45:48,970 --> 00:45:52,310 - None of ya ever seen human sex before? 859 00:45:52,310 --> 00:45:54,480 (laughs) 860 00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,920 Didn't know what you were in for. 861 00:45:57,920 --> 00:45:58,850 Did ya? 862 00:45:58,850 --> 00:46:00,320 - Did you know about this? 863 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:01,790 - Forget about it. 864 00:46:02,990 --> 00:46:04,890 Haven't you see da news, knucklehead? 865 00:46:04,890 --> 00:46:05,720 - What news? 866 00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:08,730 (upbeat rock music) 867 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:16,270 (ominous music) 868 00:46:21,510 --> 00:46:22,510 - Beelzebub! 869 00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:26,680 - People of Earth, I seek one among 870 00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:28,950 you by the name of Killjoy. 871 00:46:30,650 --> 00:46:33,650 - Mother fucker, he came back for me! 872 00:46:33,650 --> 00:46:36,890 - You have 13 hours to bring him to me. 873 00:46:38,260 --> 00:46:42,290 If you do not, I will destroy every city, one by one. 874 00:46:47,430 --> 00:46:49,400 - Is this serious? 875 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,670 - To show you that I am serious... 876 00:46:52,670 --> 00:46:55,410 (spaceship hums) 877 00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,250 (large explosion booms) 878 00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:02,010 - He blew up Paris? 879 00:47:02,010 --> 00:47:04,420 - Paris was on my to-do list! 880 00:47:05,580 --> 00:47:07,250 - What are we cares? 881 00:47:08,620 --> 00:47:12,560 - Now if I do not receive Killjoy by the time designated, 882 00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:17,930 I will destroy a city that you actually like! 883 00:47:21,930 --> 00:47:24,940 - That's it! I want off this planet! 884 00:47:27,410 --> 00:47:31,580 - Oh, that's sweet. That should provide some motivation. 885 00:47:34,110 --> 00:47:38,280 Now we call out our bounty hunters, the Six Psychos! 886 00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:40,750 Give the order. 887 00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:43,360 - Release the Six Psychos! 888 00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,020 (ominous music) 889 00:47:51,030 --> 00:47:51,960 Number one. 890 00:47:55,370 --> 00:47:57,140 - [Beelzebub] Creepy. 891 00:47:59,140 --> 00:48:00,210 - Number two. 892 00:48:03,980 --> 00:48:05,980 - [Beelzebub] Can she do it? 893 00:48:05,980 --> 00:48:08,250 - [Jezebel] She looks cute but she can tear it up. 894 00:48:08,250 --> 00:48:13,050 (laughs) - Just like my second ex-wife. 895 00:48:13,050 --> 00:48:14,790 - Number three. 896 00:48:14,790 --> 00:48:16,960 - [Beelzebub] Oh, sisters! 897 00:48:22,090 --> 00:48:23,260 - Number four. 898 00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:31,000 Number five. 899 00:48:34,310 --> 00:48:35,270 So dangerous. 900 00:48:35,270 --> 00:48:37,510 (laughing) 901 00:48:43,420 --> 00:48:46,550 I only counted five psychos. 902 00:48:46,550 --> 00:48:48,990 - There are six. Six Psychos. 903 00:48:51,390 --> 00:48:53,630 (laughing) 904 00:49:05,140 --> 00:49:06,710 - [Killjoy] I need guns, lots of guns! 905 00:49:06,710 --> 00:49:07,910 Can you get them for me? 906 00:49:07,910 --> 00:49:10,380 - [Handy] Guns? Sure! I'll call my guys. 907 00:49:10,380 --> 00:49:12,880 - Great and I need to get access to this computer. 908 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:14,810 Did you install a security measure? 909 00:49:14,810 --> 00:49:18,450 - Hold still. It has to scan you for ID. 910 00:49:18,450 --> 00:49:21,890 (computer beeps) (drill whines) 911 00:49:21,890 --> 00:49:23,290 - Oh, oh, oh, oh! 912 00:49:24,460 --> 00:49:26,390 What the hell was that? 913 00:49:27,430 --> 00:49:28,590 - Rectal scan! 914 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,200 - I said retinal! Retinal scan! 915 00:49:37,500 --> 00:49:39,970 - I'll have to put in a retinal scanner. 916 00:49:39,970 --> 00:49:43,080 - Yeah, you're gonna have to do that. 917 00:49:49,010 --> 00:49:51,120 (laughs) 918 00:49:53,990 --> 00:49:55,890 - Hey, boss, I got tomorrow's scripts. 919 00:49:55,890 --> 00:50:00,060 We gotta go over your lonely asparagus sketch. 920 00:50:00,060 --> 00:50:04,230 - Toady, you got hold of the lonely asparagus sketch? 921 00:50:05,700 --> 00:50:07,900 That's never been done before! 922 00:50:07,900 --> 00:50:10,900 - Yes, in my hands is the only copy. 923 00:50:12,940 --> 00:50:15,270 - Oh, I can't believe it. 924 00:50:15,270 --> 00:50:17,740 We're going to make comedy history! 925 00:50:17,740 --> 00:50:19,950 - My gun guys are here! 926 00:50:19,950 --> 00:50:21,280 - Oh good. 927 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,220 - See ya, Toady! 928 00:50:23,220 --> 00:50:24,580 - But the sketch? 929 00:50:24,580 --> 00:50:28,050 - Ha! I gotta buy guns! I feel so patriotic. 930 00:50:28,050 --> 00:50:30,290 (laughing) 931 00:50:34,390 --> 00:50:37,730 - [Gun Dealer] I got ya firepower right here! 932 00:50:37,730 --> 00:50:39,800 - [Killjoy] I love it! 933 00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,130 - You lookin' to ventilate someone? 934 00:50:41,130 --> 00:50:42,100 - What? 935 00:50:42,100 --> 00:50:44,500 - You know, wack, plug, kill? 936 00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:46,670 - Um, uh, home protection? 937 00:50:49,670 --> 00:50:53,250 - Well this here, is an example of a sensible weapon. 938 00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:56,580 Lightweight, well balanced, scientifically engineered 939 00:50:56,580 --> 00:51:00,150 built in safety features including a fingerprint electronic 940 00:51:00,150 --> 00:51:04,590 ID system, guaranteed not to hurt a kitty cat on accident. 941 00:51:04,590 --> 00:51:08,160 How'd ya like that tuckin' you into bed at night? 942 00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:09,660 - It's okay. 943 00:51:09,660 --> 00:51:12,100 - Better than okay, that thing's fuckin' bullshit! 944 00:51:12,100 --> 00:51:14,030 - I wouldn't shoot my mother with this piece of shit 945 00:51:14,030 --> 00:51:18,100 and I've shot my mother with Ginger Deadman's dick! 946 00:51:18,100 --> 00:51:19,940 - Uh, okay, what else you got? 947 00:51:19,940 --> 00:51:20,770 - This. 948 00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:25,910 - Oh! 949 00:51:25,910 --> 00:51:29,150 - Oh? You're god damn right oh! 950 00:51:29,150 --> 00:51:31,020 It feels good to whip it out! 951 00:51:31,020 --> 00:51:33,020 - Yeah, tell me more. 952 00:51:33,020 --> 00:51:37,190 - Yeah, laser scope, extended battery, 400,000 heat tons of 953 00:51:38,590 --> 00:51:42,290 two hairy balls screamin' "saftey's for nerds"! 954 00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:47,170 - Yeah, awesome! What's it called? 955 00:51:47,170 --> 00:51:49,900 - It's called the Aborted Granny Diarrhea Felcher. 956 00:51:49,900 --> 00:51:51,740 - Wait, what, what? 957 00:51:51,740 --> 00:51:54,140 That is just plain offensive! 958 00:51:55,010 --> 00:51:56,510 - Its an assault weapon! 959 00:51:56,510 --> 00:52:00,180 You really gonna yank my cock over its name? 960 00:52:00,980 --> 00:52:02,650 - What else you got? 961 00:52:06,620 --> 00:52:09,450 Yeah! Yeah! What does this one do? 962 00:52:11,890 --> 00:52:14,730 - It leaves your victims bubblin' and poppin' like herpes. 963 00:52:14,730 --> 00:52:17,030 Oh, it leaves the dick wad still alive 964 00:52:17,030 --> 00:52:19,430 so you can watch him turn into Granny's jell-o mold, 965 00:52:19,430 --> 00:52:23,000 all green and drippin' with nectarines on Christmas! 966 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,340 - Turns into a human kind of cider. 967 00:52:25,340 --> 00:52:28,070 - Is that, like, really necessary? 968 00:52:28,070 --> 00:52:29,370 - You asked what it does! 969 00:52:29,370 --> 00:52:30,640 Wait 'till you see what this 970 00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:33,680 thing can do innocent bystanders and babies! 971 00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:35,180 - You are a peach. 972 00:52:37,250 --> 00:52:41,320 I hate to ask ya, but what do you call this one? 973 00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:44,120 - The Crust Scraping Cunt Plunger. 974 00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,630 - Ah, are you fucking kidding, 975 00:52:46,630 --> 00:52:48,660 what the hell is wrong with you? 976 00:52:48,660 --> 00:52:49,590 - You asked what it does and guns 977 00:52:49,590 --> 00:52:50,830 are offensive by design, bro. 978 00:52:50,830 --> 00:52:52,500 - Why are you so tight in the crotch? 979 00:52:52,500 --> 00:52:54,030 What do you want? 980 00:52:54,030 --> 00:52:57,100 - I want something that's got a more heroic and sexy name. 981 00:52:57,100 --> 00:53:01,210 Like Thor's Hammer or Wings of Justice or Soul Reaper! 982 00:53:05,940 --> 00:53:08,850 So just tell me what I wanna hear. 983 00:53:08,850 --> 00:53:10,420 - Fine. 984 00:53:10,420 --> 00:53:12,880 You look damn sexy holding that weapon! 985 00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:13,890 - Damn sexy! 986 00:53:16,690 --> 00:53:18,420 - Hello! I'd fuck me! 987 00:53:19,820 --> 00:53:21,790 - Yeah! Now you're ready to blow your wad! 988 00:53:21,790 --> 00:53:23,530 That's the spirit! 989 00:53:23,530 --> 00:53:25,930 - Yeah! I'll take all of 'em! 990 00:53:25,930 --> 00:53:27,270 - I'll load 'em up for you. 991 00:53:27,270 --> 00:53:29,270 - Wait a second, I don't need like 992 00:53:29,270 --> 00:53:31,870 a background check or anything? 993 00:53:33,810 --> 00:53:35,070 - You look good to me. 994 00:53:35,070 --> 00:53:38,240 - I'll say! You're background's sweet. 995 00:53:47,290 --> 00:53:49,790 - Hey, where the fuck is everybody? 996 00:53:49,790 --> 00:53:52,090 - I sent 'em off to do some errands. 997 00:53:52,090 --> 00:53:54,690 I want some alone time wit you. 998 00:53:55,890 --> 00:53:57,430 - Can I use your bathroom? 999 00:53:57,430 --> 00:54:00,970 - Uh, yeah. If you can find it, it's all your's. 1000 00:54:00,970 --> 00:54:01,970 - Fuckin' A. 1001 00:54:05,570 --> 00:54:07,070 - Now we're alone! 1002 00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:13,010 - I know what that means! What does that mean exactly? 1003 00:54:14,410 --> 00:54:18,420 - Fish breath, you're turnin' mortal on me now. 1004 00:54:18,420 --> 00:54:21,990 - It's "mortal". Pronounce the "R". Mortal! 1005 00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,120 - You know what I mean. 1006 00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:28,230 I wanna take this to the next level. 1007 00:54:28,230 --> 00:54:30,600 - Look, I'm dyin' here, Batty. 1008 00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,300 What more do you want from me? 1009 00:54:33,300 --> 00:54:35,230 - I want a kid! 1010 00:54:35,230 --> 00:54:37,470 - Oh, a kid, why didn't you just say so? 1011 00:54:37,470 --> 00:54:38,700 How much are they? 1012 00:54:38,700 --> 00:54:40,340 I just saved a ton of money on these guns. 1013 00:54:40,340 --> 00:54:42,070 - With you, ya idiot! 1014 00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:45,310 - How's that happen? 1015 00:54:45,310 --> 00:54:48,610 - You know, ya just saw a video on it. 1016 00:54:48,610 --> 00:54:52,780 - Well, yeah but that was Tommy Pistol, I can't do that! 1017 00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:58,320 - Aren't you at least a little bit curious? 1018 00:55:01,230 --> 00:55:04,560 - I'm also curious about toenail fungus. 1019 00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:09,770 - Dis is one of da things dat makes life, life! 1020 00:55:11,370 --> 00:55:15,270 - Huh. Yeah, you know what? Maybe you're right. 1021 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,240 Maybe if we're gonna do this mortal thing, 1022 00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:21,450 we should just go full bore. 1023 00:55:21,450 --> 00:55:25,920 I already bought a buncha guns today! I feel so American! 1024 00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:28,950 Yeah! Let's log jam! Come on! 1025 00:55:28,950 --> 00:55:33,120 - Yeah, I'm comin' down, I'm comin' all da way down! 1026 00:55:33,990 --> 00:55:35,830 - Yeah, so romantic! 1027 00:55:35,830 --> 00:55:37,700 It's kinda making me feel like I'm gonna 1028 00:55:37,700 --> 00:55:39,230 throw up in my mouth a little bit. 1029 00:55:39,230 --> 00:55:40,770 I love it. 1030 00:55:40,770 --> 00:55:42,030 Let's get real! 1031 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,270 Is that the way? No? 1032 00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:49,110 - You know, that's not working for me. 1033 00:55:49,110 --> 00:55:50,740 - It is for me! 1034 00:55:50,740 --> 00:55:51,680 - It's just not working for me. 1035 00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:52,910 - And I put it in, right? 1036 00:55:52,910 --> 00:55:56,350 - Yes, you put it in me. You put it in me. 1037 00:55:56,350 --> 00:55:57,180 - Alright. 1038 00:55:57,180 --> 00:55:58,420 - I'm ready. Okay. 1039 00:55:58,420 --> 00:55:59,450 - Alright, here we go. I'll try! 1040 00:55:59,450 --> 00:56:00,990 - Okay! - Wait, oh, is that it? 1041 00:56:00,990 --> 00:56:01,820 - Yeah! - Did I get it? 1042 00:56:01,820 --> 00:56:02,750 No? Yes? Yes? No? 1043 00:56:02,750 --> 00:56:04,990 - I think so, just go with it! 1044 00:56:04,990 --> 00:56:09,660 (jackhammer) (party horns) 1045 00:56:09,660 --> 00:56:13,830 (fireworks) (splashing) 1046 00:56:27,110 --> 00:56:28,610 - Boss! Oh! 1047 00:56:28,610 --> 00:56:30,920 We got company! There's a mob of people outside. 1048 00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:32,780 - Oh, what do they want? 1049 00:56:32,780 --> 00:56:34,550 - I think they're comin' to get you! 1050 00:56:34,550 --> 00:56:37,020 - No, they're fans, I think they're here to help. 1051 00:56:37,020 --> 00:56:39,590 - You can't be too careful! 1052 00:56:39,590 --> 00:56:42,430 - Alright, Batty, you stay here. 1053 00:56:42,430 --> 00:56:43,930 - Okay, shnuckems. 1054 00:56:45,130 --> 00:56:47,000 - And I'm gonna work on the rocket ship! 1055 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:48,470 In case we need to scram! 1056 00:56:48,470 --> 00:56:50,000 - Yeah, good idea! 1057 00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:52,000 - Rocket ship? 1058 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:56,110 - Yeah, baby, rocket ship. Just go with it. 1059 00:56:56,110 --> 00:56:59,610 You wait here, things might get a little rough. 1060 00:56:59,610 --> 00:57:02,310 - Rough? Here are the guns! 1061 00:57:02,310 --> 00:57:04,250 - Alright. Freakshow? 1062 00:57:04,250 --> 00:57:05,850 - Yeah? - You guard the door 1063 00:57:05,850 --> 00:57:07,350 and make sure nobody gets in. 1064 00:57:07,350 --> 00:57:08,720 - Sure! 1065 00:57:08,720 --> 00:57:10,690 You! Have you ever actually used one of these? 1066 00:57:10,690 --> 00:57:12,660 - Seen all the movies! I know what the fuck I'm doin'! 1067 00:57:12,660 --> 00:57:14,990 - That's good enough for me! 1068 00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:28,370 - [Crowd] Killjoy! Killjoy! Killjoy! Killjoy! Killjoy! 1069 00:57:37,950 --> 00:57:40,720 - Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey! 1070 00:57:43,220 --> 00:57:46,720 I'm not your hero! I want to kill you all! 1071 00:57:48,090 --> 00:57:50,160 (cheers) 1072 00:57:51,330 --> 00:57:53,330 Who are these people? 1073 00:57:53,330 --> 00:57:55,770 - The Psycho Circus Fan Club. 1074 00:57:57,300 --> 00:57:58,840 - What am I supposed to do? 1075 00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:01,640 - They're your fans, rally them! 1076 00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:03,210 - How am I gonna do that? 1077 00:58:03,210 --> 00:58:06,040 - Easy, raise your gun in the air. 1078 00:58:09,180 --> 00:58:11,220 (stomps) (screams) 1079 00:58:11,220 --> 00:58:13,320 (cheers) 1080 00:58:16,250 --> 00:58:19,920 - No, no, no, no! Shut up, shut up, shut up! 1081 00:58:23,290 --> 00:58:25,530 I guess this is supposed to be 1082 00:58:25,530 --> 00:58:28,870 some of kind of an inspirational speech. 1083 00:58:30,700 --> 00:58:33,670 But you all are a bunch of morons! 1084 00:58:33,670 --> 00:58:35,740 (cheers) 1085 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:43,620 I ain't no hero! And I don't give a shit about any of you! 1086 00:58:46,990 --> 00:58:50,760 The Earth is doomed. And it's all your fault! 1087 00:58:52,860 --> 00:58:54,460 Why do you want me? 1088 00:58:55,730 --> 00:58:58,400 - Because you make us look sane! 1089 00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:02,000 - That was a bit of a backhanded compliment. 1090 00:59:04,300 --> 00:59:07,040 (spaceship hums) 1091 00:59:08,970 --> 00:59:10,980 (gasps) 1092 00:59:14,810 --> 00:59:17,650 - You're having a party. How nice. 1093 00:59:20,350 --> 00:59:24,520 Now surrender and board my ship or suffer the consequences! 1094 00:59:26,060 --> 00:59:29,230 - I'll never board your ship! I'd rather die first! 1095 00:59:29,230 --> 00:59:31,230 - I don't want you dead. 1096 00:59:33,460 --> 00:59:37,670 I need you whole before I rip your soul out. 1097 00:59:37,670 --> 00:59:41,840 Come willingly or I will destroy everything that you love. 1098 00:59:48,610 --> 00:59:49,610 - Play time! 1099 00:59:51,250 --> 00:59:54,090 - I don't think they're friendly. 1100 00:59:54,090 --> 00:59:55,690 - You're gonna have to kill me first! 1101 00:59:55,690 --> 00:59:57,660 (laser blasts) (screams) 1102 00:59:57,660 --> 00:59:59,620 - Human shield! 1103 00:59:59,620 --> 01:00:03,800 (lasers blast) (screams) 1104 01:00:04,860 --> 01:00:09,030 (upbeat techno music) (lasers blast) 1105 01:01:00,150 --> 01:01:02,090 - It's a shit storm outside! 1106 01:01:02,090 --> 01:01:04,320 (laughing) 1107 01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:07,730 Are you getting the ship ready? 1108 01:01:07,730 --> 01:01:08,890 - We're on it! 1109 01:01:16,070 --> 01:01:18,070 - Goin' somewhere? 1110 01:01:18,070 --> 01:01:20,000 - I was just gonna show ya somethin'! 1111 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,910 - I thought you were gonna wait for Killjoy. 1112 01:01:22,910 --> 01:01:27,080 - I am, Batty! There's just somethin' wrong with your face. 1113 01:01:31,420 --> 01:01:33,750 - What's wrong with my face? 1114 01:01:36,050 --> 01:01:37,260 - Made ya look! 1115 01:01:37,260 --> 01:01:39,660 (laughing) 1116 01:01:39,660 --> 01:01:42,660 (suspenseful music) 1117 01:01:47,900 --> 01:01:52,070 (thud) (laughing) 1118 01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:03,150 (lasers blast) (screams) 1119 01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:12,020 - Get some! 1120 01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:21,130 (lasers blast) (screams) 1121 01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:28,210 (dramatic music) 1122 01:02:37,220 --> 01:02:38,950 (laughing) 1123 01:02:38,950 --> 01:02:41,120 - Victory! Suck it, Beelz! 1124 01:02:45,690 --> 01:02:47,930 - Congratulations, Killjoy. 1125 01:02:49,130 --> 01:02:53,000 You have killed five of the Six Psychos. 1126 01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:55,330 - Oh that's right, Bee-otch! 1127 01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,500 Wait a minute? Five of the Six Psychos. 1128 01:02:59,500 --> 01:03:00,870 What's he talkin' about? 1129 01:03:00,870 --> 01:03:03,640 - Yoo-Hoo. You missing something? 1130 01:03:08,650 --> 01:03:09,480 - Batty? 1131 01:03:11,550 --> 01:03:15,720 - If you want to see her again, you will come to me. 1132 01:03:19,090 --> 01:03:21,830 (spaceship hums) 1133 01:03:28,970 --> 01:03:29,800 - No! 1134 01:03:34,940 --> 01:03:36,570 What happened? 1135 01:03:36,570 --> 01:03:39,540 - Uh, there were thousands of them! A horde! 1136 01:03:39,540 --> 01:03:41,980 I was overrun! They took her! 1137 01:03:42,980 --> 01:03:44,580 - Is the ship ready to go? 1138 01:03:44,580 --> 01:03:46,750 - It's loaded, ready to launch! 1139 01:03:46,750 --> 01:03:48,090 - To the bridge! 1140 01:03:52,860 --> 01:03:56,730 Oh, I should thank you all for your sacrifices. 1141 01:03:56,730 --> 01:03:59,960 Now it's apparent to me, that Killjoy fans 1142 01:03:59,960 --> 01:04:02,570 are a bunch of gullible bafoons. 1143 01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:07,170 - But he didn't actually apologize. 1144 01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:12,540 (steady orchestral music) 1145 01:04:19,550 --> 01:04:20,790 - Fuckin' duck! 1146 01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:25,660 - Activate the control panel! 1147 01:04:25,660 --> 01:04:28,430 (computer beeps) 1148 01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:32,000 Wow! Cool! Isn't that cool? 1149 01:04:33,970 --> 01:04:37,270 I mean, that's like really fuckin' cool. 1150 01:04:37,270 --> 01:04:38,740 - They're getting away! 1151 01:04:38,740 --> 01:04:41,270 - Oh, right, right, blast off! 1152 01:04:41,270 --> 01:04:44,480 (alarms blare) 1153 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:47,810 - [Computer] Three, two, one, blast off. 1154 01:04:49,610 --> 01:04:53,780 (rockets roar) (cheering) 1155 01:04:55,650 --> 01:04:59,160 (steady orchestral music) 1156 01:05:19,980 --> 01:05:22,780 - [Killjoy] We're comin' for ya, Batty. 1157 01:05:22,780 --> 01:05:26,120 (triumphant rock music) 1158 01:05:38,300 --> 01:05:41,230 - Good! Good! Right into our hands! 1159 01:05:42,970 --> 01:05:45,470 Jezebel, you can fire at will. 1160 01:05:45,470 --> 01:05:47,310 - Abso-Fucking-Lutely. 1161 01:05:51,710 --> 01:05:53,240 Fire! 1162 01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:56,450 (laser blasts) 1163 01:05:56,450 --> 01:05:58,020 - That was close, Captain. 1164 01:05:58,020 --> 01:05:59,080 - Shields up! 1165 01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,420 - We don't have shields! 1166 01:06:01,420 --> 01:06:03,620 - Well what the fuck do we have? A tortilla? 1167 01:06:03,620 --> 01:06:05,420 - We have fields! 1168 01:06:05,420 --> 01:06:07,860 - For fuck's sake. Fields up! 1169 01:06:09,630 --> 01:06:11,260 - Fire! 1170 01:06:11,260 --> 01:06:13,830 (lasers blast) 1171 01:06:20,170 --> 01:06:22,110 - Fields still holding, sir. 1172 01:06:22,110 --> 01:06:24,340 - Good. Now all we have to do is, uh, 1173 01:06:24,340 --> 01:06:27,980 find that thing's weak spot and disable it. 1174 01:06:27,980 --> 01:06:29,680 - Punchy wanna punch. 1175 01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:32,350 - Excellent, weapons online. 1176 01:06:32,350 --> 01:06:34,250 Let's give 'em whatfer. 1177 01:06:41,990 --> 01:06:42,830 Fire! 1178 01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:46,760 (lasers blast) 1179 01:06:53,570 --> 01:06:57,580 - Yes, that's it. Just keep wasting your energy. 1180 01:07:00,510 --> 01:07:03,080 (lasers blast) 1181 01:07:07,150 --> 01:07:08,950 - No effect, Captain! 1182 01:07:08,950 --> 01:07:12,120 - What did we toss at him? Cream pies? 1183 01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:17,600 Alright, great, we'll do lasers. Fire the lasers! 1184 01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:22,600 (lasers blast) 1185 01:07:29,210 --> 01:07:32,880 (alarm beeps) (rockets thrust) 1186 01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:37,050 (lasers blast) (alarms beep) 1187 01:07:39,420 --> 01:07:41,450 - I think their lasers might penetrate. 1188 01:07:41,450 --> 01:07:42,550 - [Beelzebub] Just keep firing. 1189 01:07:42,550 --> 01:07:43,390 - But, sir-- 1190 01:07:43,390 --> 01:07:44,960 - Just keep firing! 1191 01:07:47,530 --> 01:07:49,590 (grunts) 1192 01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:55,170 (lasers blast) 1193 01:08:01,940 --> 01:08:05,580 - We're takin' a lot of damage! Field's almost gone! 1194 01:08:05,580 --> 01:08:08,580 - We almost have them. Keep firing! 1195 01:08:08,580 --> 01:08:10,920 Batty, I'm comin' to get ya. 1196 01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:18,160 (lasers blast) 1197 01:08:32,370 --> 01:08:33,200 - No! 1198 01:08:35,610 --> 01:08:36,940 No, no! Take me! 1199 01:08:38,710 --> 01:08:39,540 Take me! 1200 01:08:47,220 --> 01:08:50,150 - We have our enemy ship's engines targeted. 1201 01:08:50,150 --> 01:08:51,260 - Good! Fire! 1202 01:08:52,890 --> 01:08:56,030 (lasers blast) 1203 01:08:56,030 --> 01:08:58,100 Keep firing, keep firing. 1204 01:09:02,170 --> 01:09:03,570 What's happening? 1205 01:09:04,940 --> 01:09:07,810 - [Computer] Um, it's an energy drain due to malfunction. 1206 01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:09,040 - Malfunction? What malfunction? 1207 01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:10,510 - [Computer] (sighs) The power line from the 1208 01:09:10,510 --> 01:09:12,940 atomic generator to the weapons seem to have failed. 1209 01:09:12,940 --> 01:09:14,250 - [Killjoy] Fuck! Can we fix it? 1210 01:09:14,250 --> 01:09:16,810 - The access tube are too thin. 1211 01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:20,950 Only something the size of a baby 1212 01:09:20,950 --> 01:09:23,720 could crawl through those things. 1213 01:09:25,620 --> 01:09:27,290 - You traitor! 1214 01:09:27,290 --> 01:09:30,290 - What? I don't know what you're talkin' about! 1215 01:09:30,290 --> 01:09:34,630 - Why would you build access tubes too thin to get into? 1216 01:09:34,630 --> 01:09:37,230 - I helped you! I got you guns! 1217 01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:42,210 - Those psychos weren't meant to kill me at all. 1218 01:09:42,210 --> 01:09:46,580 Beelzebub needs me alive so that he can get my soul. 1219 01:09:46,580 --> 01:09:50,950 What did offer you? Money? Fame? A Klondike bar? 1220 01:09:50,950 --> 01:09:53,980 - There aren't many primeval clowns left! 1221 01:09:53,980 --> 01:09:56,790 When you're gone, guess who's still here? 1222 01:09:56,790 --> 01:09:58,790 - You're the sixth psycho. 1223 01:09:58,790 --> 01:10:00,120 You little shit! 1224 01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:03,090 I would've offered you the spot of top clown! 1225 01:10:03,090 --> 01:10:06,060 - I can't have it while your soul is still free. 1226 01:10:06,060 --> 01:10:09,100 But now I guess I'll be gettin' the spot! 1227 01:10:09,100 --> 01:10:11,100 Reach for the sky! 1228 01:10:11,100 --> 01:10:14,540 - We're in outer space. So that's a really vague order. 1229 01:10:14,540 --> 01:10:16,470 - You know what I mean. 1230 01:10:20,810 --> 01:10:23,680 - You've forgotten one thing. 1231 01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:26,520 Punchy don't give a shit! Get him! 1232 01:10:29,250 --> 01:10:31,590 (gun shots) 1233 01:10:37,630 --> 01:10:39,700 (laughs) 1234 01:10:40,900 --> 01:10:43,430 - Punchy! Can we make a deal? Huh? 1235 01:10:48,240 --> 01:10:49,070 - No. 1236 01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:53,610 (punches thud) (head splatters) 1237 01:10:53,610 --> 01:10:57,110 (laughs) Ya dirty traitor. 1238 01:11:10,930 --> 01:11:13,300 - Seriously, who keeps the gravity 1239 01:11:13,300 --> 01:11:15,730 on full power in outer space? 1240 01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:20,800 - Congratulations. You figured it out. 1241 01:11:22,570 --> 01:11:25,510 - You! What have you done to Batty? 1242 01:11:27,650 --> 01:11:31,320 Oh, that's kinda turnin' me on a little bit. 1243 01:11:32,820 --> 01:11:36,250 I mean, no, Batty! Unhand her, you fiend! 1244 01:11:39,060 --> 01:11:43,230 - You see that red liquid dripping from her bones? 1245 01:11:44,460 --> 01:11:46,830 She's turning mortal! 1246 01:11:46,830 --> 01:11:49,270 Soon she will bleed to death. 1247 01:11:50,730 --> 01:11:51,900 - No! Take me! 1248 01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:56,240 - That's precisely my intention. 1249 01:11:56,240 --> 01:11:58,680 - Oh. Right. Of course it is. 1250 01:11:59,880 --> 01:12:02,580 - I suggest you lower your fields. 1251 01:12:03,950 --> 01:12:06,120 So I can beam you onboard. 1252 01:12:07,990 --> 01:12:10,050 - Then you'll let Batty go? 1253 01:12:10,050 --> 01:12:12,820 - I will let her go to your ship. 1254 01:12:15,390 --> 01:12:17,230 (sighs) 1255 01:12:17,230 --> 01:12:19,900 - Well, I guess this is goodbye. 1256 01:12:22,470 --> 01:12:24,840 It's been nice knowin' you two fucks. 1257 01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:28,540 When Batty gets back to the bridge, get her outta here. 1258 01:12:28,540 --> 01:12:30,540 Fly away, just fly away. 1259 01:12:37,980 --> 01:12:39,380 I still don't understand a fuckin' 1260 01:12:39,380 --> 01:12:41,690 word you're sayin', Punchy. 1261 01:12:41,690 --> 01:12:43,850 But it's gonna be alright. 1262 01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:46,320 And you? Freakshow. 1263 01:12:48,290 --> 01:12:50,460 I always liked your brother better. 1264 01:12:50,460 --> 01:12:52,460 Quit bein' such a cunt. 1265 01:12:58,600 --> 01:13:00,270 Sayonara, suck-wads! 1266 01:13:09,710 --> 01:13:11,820 (growls) 1267 01:13:16,750 --> 01:13:20,920 - Now you're going to get your ass into this thing. 1268 01:13:21,830 --> 01:13:24,230 - Let Batty go first! 1269 01:13:24,230 --> 01:13:26,730 - Mortal flesh is so delicate. 1270 01:13:28,770 --> 01:13:31,070 - Stop it! Leave her alone! 1271 01:13:31,070 --> 01:13:32,070 - You first. 1272 01:13:35,740 --> 01:13:39,910 (sighs) (Batty moans) 1273 01:13:46,980 --> 01:13:49,220 - No. What if I don't want? 1274 01:13:51,690 --> 01:13:54,530 - Jezebel, activate the Cuisinart. 1275 01:13:56,860 --> 01:13:58,630 - My pleasure. 1276 01:13:58,630 --> 01:13:59,460 Mortal. 1277 01:14:01,500 --> 01:14:05,670 (machines hum) (Batty moans) 1278 01:14:17,010 --> 01:14:19,080 (laughs) 1279 01:14:38,300 --> 01:14:39,470 - Semi-mortal. 1280 01:14:40,370 --> 01:14:41,370 - Semi what? 1281 01:14:42,470 --> 01:14:45,740 - Semi-Moytal! (Laughs) 1282 01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:53,850 (upbeat techno music) 1283 01:14:59,290 --> 01:15:03,390 (lasers blast) (groans) 1284 01:15:52,640 --> 01:15:56,810 - [Killjoy] Yeah! (laughs) That's my girl! 1285 01:15:58,750 --> 01:16:02,520 Suck on that! Great balls of fire up your ass! 1286 01:16:12,200 --> 01:16:16,000 - Oh, baby cakes, I wasn't weak because of my wounds. 1287 01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:18,570 - No? Then what's wrong with you? 1288 01:16:18,570 --> 01:16:19,800 - I'm pregnant. 1289 01:16:20,900 --> 01:16:23,070 - You're pregnant? 1290 01:16:23,070 --> 01:16:24,580 - We created life! 1291 01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:28,410 - Batty you gotta get back to the ship. 1292 01:16:28,410 --> 01:16:30,050 Jump through the magic mirror! 1293 01:16:30,050 --> 01:16:32,380 - No! I wanna stay with you. 1294 01:16:34,380 --> 01:16:35,950 - Think of the kid! 1295 01:16:44,130 --> 01:16:46,700 Batty you gotta get outta here. 1296 01:16:49,330 --> 01:16:51,400 (laughs) 1297 01:16:54,540 --> 01:16:57,040 - A clown with a small hammer! 1298 01:16:58,710 --> 01:16:59,910 Don't make me laugh. 1299 01:16:59,910 --> 01:17:02,180 - Dude, you call this small? 1300 01:17:07,780 --> 01:17:09,450 - You fool. 1301 01:17:09,450 --> 01:17:13,620 You have your hammer back but I'm still an Arch Demon. 1302 01:17:15,030 --> 01:17:18,360 (small explosions boom) 1303 01:17:23,970 --> 01:17:26,640 You baffon. Fool. Boozoo. Clown. 1304 01:17:31,980 --> 01:17:34,880 You can't hurt me with that thing! 1305 01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:37,910 Hit me with your best shot! 1306 01:17:37,910 --> 01:17:39,080 - I intend to. 1307 01:17:43,220 --> 01:17:46,060 (explosion thuds) 1308 01:17:47,760 --> 01:17:48,590 - Oh no! 1309 01:17:50,730 --> 01:17:54,900 (laughs) I'm mother fuckin' Killjoy! 1310 01:17:57,070 --> 01:17:57,900 Yeah! 1311 01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:02,010 (orb hums) 1312 01:18:05,580 --> 01:18:06,840 Uh-oh, oh shit. 1313 01:18:11,080 --> 01:18:14,320 - Master, no, just please stop, please. 1314 01:18:20,790 --> 01:18:23,190 - Come on, come on, let's go! 1315 01:18:27,930 --> 01:18:28,770 Yes! 1316 01:18:34,070 --> 01:18:35,070 - Shnuckems! 1317 01:18:35,070 --> 01:18:37,870 (kisses pucker) 1318 01:18:37,870 --> 01:18:40,210 - There's an energy build up on the Exitian! 1319 01:18:40,210 --> 01:18:41,950 - We gotta get outta here! 1320 01:18:41,950 --> 01:18:44,280 (Punchy mumbles) 1321 01:18:44,280 --> 01:18:46,280 We gotta get outta here! 1322 01:18:53,990 --> 01:18:56,160 We gotta go to warp speed! 1323 01:19:00,230 --> 01:19:02,730 We have to go plaid now! 1324 01:19:02,730 --> 01:19:04,000 - [Computer] Just wait a second. 1325 01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:05,370 - Wait! 1326 01:19:05,370 --> 01:19:06,570 - [Freakshow] We have no power. 1327 01:19:06,570 --> 01:19:08,510 - Oh yeah, were fucked. 1328 01:19:11,810 --> 01:19:13,980 (screams) 1329 01:19:15,010 --> 01:19:16,680 - Son of a bitch. 1330 01:19:16,680 --> 01:19:19,750 (electricity sparks) 1331 01:19:27,120 --> 01:19:29,290 - We're not gonna make it. 1332 01:19:36,800 --> 01:19:38,200 - [Computer] Power back online. 1333 01:19:38,200 --> 01:19:39,670 - Power's back online. 1334 01:19:39,670 --> 01:19:40,770 There's something inside the access 1335 01:19:40,770 --> 01:19:43,340 tunnels fixing the power lines. 1336 01:19:47,440 --> 01:19:49,450 - What? What's goin' on? 1337 01:19:54,650 --> 01:19:56,650 (gasps) 1338 01:20:02,960 --> 01:20:04,230 - I missed you! 1339 01:20:05,160 --> 01:20:07,660 - Aw, I always liked you best! 1340 01:20:13,170 --> 01:20:15,340 (screams) 1341 01:20:22,210 --> 01:20:25,280 (explosion thunders) 1342 01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:28,850 (rocket zooms) 1343 01:20:30,990 --> 01:20:33,360 - We still won't make it. 1344 01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:36,630 - We have to go to ludicrous speed! Now! 1345 01:20:36,630 --> 01:20:37,460 Punch it! 1346 01:20:45,700 --> 01:20:48,140 (ship booms) 1347 01:21:25,810 --> 01:21:27,810 That was ludicrous. 1348 01:21:27,810 --> 01:21:30,480 - [Computer] Approaching planet. 1349 01:21:37,790 --> 01:21:39,960 - Computer, what is it? 1350 01:21:39,960 --> 01:21:42,860 - [Computer] Uh, it's Earth. Jesus. 1351 01:21:44,630 --> 01:21:45,800 - It can't be! 1352 01:21:45,800 --> 01:21:47,330 - [Computer] Oh, it is. 1353 01:21:47,330 --> 01:21:50,070 - Maybe it's a parallel universe. 1354 01:21:55,270 --> 01:21:58,440 - Wow, shnuckems, dat sounds like fun. 1355 01:22:02,050 --> 01:22:06,320 - I don't know, it could be completely different. 1356 01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:08,080 - Fish breath, in about 10 minutes, 1357 01:22:08,080 --> 01:22:11,890 I'm gonna lay an egg and you're gonna be a father. 1358 01:22:11,890 --> 01:22:14,620 Things will be different forever. 1359 01:22:18,760 --> 01:22:20,930 A penny for your thoughts? 1360 01:22:23,430 --> 01:22:27,070 - [Killjoy] Evil clown gonna bust some ass! 1361 01:22:27,070 --> 01:22:29,970 I'm mother fucking Killjoy. 1362 01:22:29,970 --> 01:22:32,980 (laughs maniacally) 1363 01:22:34,510 --> 01:22:38,010 (heavy orchestral music) 96779

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