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1
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,741
Hank, if your neck
is so sore all the time,
2
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,743
why don't you just
buy a new mattress?
3
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,245
Who am I, Warren Buffet?
4
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:12,980
I'm on a fixed income.
5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,817
I can't just be buying
a new mattress every 25 years.
6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,220
Yeah, I get all my mattresses
from the street.
7
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:22,323
Sometimes they even come
with a free raccoon.
8
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,358
All right, Hank,
I'm just gonna very gently...
9
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,893
-Okay, now... Whoa!
10
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,695
Oh! You demon!
11
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,731
Wait a minute.
Wow. You fixed it.
12
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:33,201
Oh.
-Nice work, demon.
-Mm.
13
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,035
Well, Sid.
14
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,704
-Ah.
-I'm off to Milan
15
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,339
for a week... again.
16
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,775
Listen, I have
some rather fickle ficus.
17
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:45,079
You sure you can handle watering
my plants while I'm gone?
18
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:48,015
I know you poors
don't like to work.
19
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,783
You know it.
20
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:52,220
Everybody, this is Edie.
21
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,289
She lives over
in Shady Meadows West,
22
00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,391
where the rich people live.
23
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,260
I wandered over there once,
24
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:02,596
and Edie was kind enough
to escort me out.
25
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:04,064
Here's the key.
26
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:07,067
Be sure to remove your shoes
on the rug.
27
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:10,738
And I must insist
you sit when you urinate.
28
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,274
Ooh, do we stand
when we do number two?
29
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,610
Oh, forget I said that.
30
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,612
Uh, uh, don't you worry.
31
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:23,151
I'm going to treat your fickle
fici as if they were my own.
32
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,085
See that you do.
33
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,687
Toodily oodily.
34
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,658
Gee, I hope
they let her through security
35
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,726
with that stick up her butt.
36
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,996
Sid, why would you do anything
for that snobby woman?
37
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:40,000
Any other stupid questions,
stupid?
38
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,605
Sorry.
39
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,375
Living the high life
is getting to me.
40
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,145
Oh, it's plastic.
41
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:18,206
Wow. So this is how
the other half lives.
42
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,708
Two bed, two bath.
Washer, dryer.
43
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,944
Yeah. Now I don't have
to get glared at
44
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,647
by Meredith McDougle
in the laundry room.
45
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,982
The woman is there every day,
46
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,851
yet her clothes
are always dirty.
47
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,454
What are you washing, Meredith?!
48
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,489
Ooh-wee!
49
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:39,460
Ooh, this massage chair
is working my neck out.
50
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,462
And my butt!
51
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,497
Oh! Thattagirl!
52
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:46,534
Work that booty.
53
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,203
Look at that
crappy apartment down there
54
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,171
with the two-cent
window treatments.
55
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,674
What... what kind of an animal
lives there?
56
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,576
Oh.
57
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,845
I think that's
actually my place.
58
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,381
This kitchen is great.
I love to cook.
59
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,551
Reminds me of my days
as a chef on a wagon train.
60
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,987
Frontierland at Disney World.
61
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,257
Cookie, anyone?
62
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,924
-Yeah, sure.
-Wow.
63
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,261
-This is the life.
-Mmm.
64
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:15,229
Holy crap, Charlie.
65
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,664
These are really good.
66
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,999
-I had no idea you bake.
-Thanks.
67
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:22,903
Yeah, I like to get stoned and
just let my creativity run wild.
68
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,572
Sometimes it leads to baking,
69
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,607
and sometimes
it leads to, uh...
70
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,444
What were we talking about?
71
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,514
Okay. Fast.
72
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,383
Oh, fast.
73
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,252
Wait a minute. I don't think
I feel comfortable with this.
74
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,920
Hold up.
75
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,922
Yes, I do.
76
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,959
If this ever goes to trial,
77
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,529
I'm a witness for the chair.
78
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,764
You know what, Charlie?
You could make some decent money
79
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:52,400
-selling these cookies.
-Oh, Charlie,
80
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,868
you'd be adorable
selling cookies.
81
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,738
Like a stoned,
wrinkly Girl Scout.
82
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:01,475
What am I saying?
That would be terrifying.
83
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:04,077
Yeah, I appreciate it,
guys, but no.
84
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,414
No, cooking is just a hobby
I picked up
85
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,782
when I retired, like, uh...
86
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:13,120
Like, what-what are we
talking about?
87
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,556
Ben and Jerry started
as a fun hobby, too,
88
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,090
and look at them now.
89
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:20,594
Yeah, I don't care
about your other friends.
90
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,663
You guys like this place, right?
91
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,798
It's only $1,000 a month more.
92
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:27,000
I mean, if we could turn
Charlie's Cookies
93
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,637
into a real business--
which I know how to do--
94
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,272
we could all be living
in Shady Meadows West.
95
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:36,009
I mean, isn't this what we want
our retirement to look like?
96
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,512
I've always wanted to be a snob.
97
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:42,350
I so seldom get
to look down on people.
98
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:45,353
I could use the spare money
to buy a nice mattress.
99
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,355
I mean, if I keep lying on mine,
100
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,690
I won't be able to turn my neck
to the left.
101
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,325
How am I gonna watch tennis?
102
00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:52,860
I'll be all like...
103
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,667
What do you say, Charlie?
They're your cookies.
104
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,770
Well, you know, we didn't retire
to retire from retirement.
105
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,373
If we retired to make money
for our retirement,
106
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,675
then you're not retiring
from your retirement.
107
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,142
You have
to retire your retirement
108
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,279
to retire, and that's tiring.
109
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,848
Look, Charlie,
all you have to do
110
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,784
is get baked and bake.
111
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,353
I have always dreamed
of running my own business.
112
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:21,054
I will handle everything else.
113
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,490
I don't think so.
114
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,658
Your weed would be
a business write-off.
115
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:25,693
I'm in.
116
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:35,536
Now, if you will turn to page 14
in your packets,
117
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:38,639
you will see that our marginal
costs are gonna start
118
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,808
-to decline right here...
As will our lives
119
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:44,211
if you don't stop talking!
120
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:47,080
Seriously, Margaret,
you said this would be fun.
121
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:51,385
I have never had less fun
in my life, and I was a P.O.W.
122
00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:54,221
At least there,
they played music.
123
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,156
Okay, guys, we're putting in
a little work now
124
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,258
so that we can have
a lot of fun later.
125
00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,993
We need a professional oven
like Edie's
126
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,562
if we're gonna make
enough cookies
127
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,230
to get this company
off the ground,
128
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,566
-and we only have a week
before she gets back home.
129
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,236
Margaret, here's where
you went wrong.
130
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,371
See, you made pie charts
131
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:12,873
when you should've made
cookie charts
132
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,608
made out of real cookies.
133
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:17,678
That way, when you're talking,
we can be eating bites
134
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,448
that represent
the profits and losses.
135
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,382
Get in there, Hank.
Save her.
136
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:25,385
Oh, looks like I need to come
in here and take charge.
137
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:28,388
All right, so, uh, first of all,
you don't run a business
138
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,391
with all this old nerd stuff.
You got to use your gut.
139
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:34,428
Mm. Well, you definitely have me
beat in the gut department.
140
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,296
What do you know about business?
141
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:39,199
You were a meter reader
for the gas company.
142
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,801
Margaret, I was in sales.
143
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,970
How is reading meters sales?
144
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,605
Well, I had to sell the idea
145
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,774
of a black man coming
on white folks' property.
146
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,710
If I can sell that,
cookies will be a piece of cake.
147
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,545
Ooh, we should sell cake.
148
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,080
And doughnuts, too!
149
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,048
-And wallets.
What?
150
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:58,619
No. No, Charlie's Cookies
should only be selling cookies.
151
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:01,822
Look, you guys, I have been
through this whole thing before.
152
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,323
My ex-husband Kenny and I ran
153
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,459
a seafood distribution company
for years.
154
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:07,294
And that applies to cakes,
155
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:11,131
doughnuts and wallets how?
156
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,433
He didn't listen to me, either,
157
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,836
and that's why
our company crashed and burned.
158
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:19,439
Wasn't for him, I'd be
the shrimp queen of Pensacola.
159
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,909
While we're bringing up
painful memories,
160
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,878
"shrimp queen" is really
triggering for me.
161
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,417
Anyway, I am not gonna watch
another company fail
162
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,686
just because a man
is too stubborn to listen.
163
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,255
I will be running
Charlie's Cookies.
164
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,825
So, you get to be in charge just
'cause you married a moron?
165
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,627
What kind of sense
does that make?
166
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,430
It's called "Charlie's Cookies."
167
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,999
Okay, so I think
it's pretty obvious
168
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,869
who should be running it.
Hank.
169
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,439
Can't argue with that logic.
170
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,341
You guys want extra money,
right?
171
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,109
Hank, you want
that new mattress.
172
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,978
Sid, you want the high life.
173
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,681
Charlie, we know
you want the high life.
174
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:03,350
I'm the one that can lead us
down that path to success.
175
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,052
Now, I know the charts
and the graphs...
176
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,955
Oh, she's boring us again!
I vote for Hank!
177
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,357
-Me, too.
-Guys...
178
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,992
How about you, Margaret?
What's your vote?
179
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,127
Never mind! Doesn't matter!
Hank's in charge.
180
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,830
First order of business:
let's go swimming.
181
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,198
All right!
182
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:27,741
1,000 cookies by Friday.
183
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:30,243
Absolutely, no problem.
We can make that happen.
184
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,145
Thank you.
185
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,148
You guys,
I just landed a huge order.
186
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,217
It's a big resort in Sedona.
187
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,586
Could we now please admit
188
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,854
that I am the one
who should be in charge?
189
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,856
Nope.
But listen to this.
190
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:46,026
Charlie's got an idea
for a chocolate chip cookie
191
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,563
where all the chips
are little bitty cookies.
192
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,936
We're gonna be so frigging rich.
193
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,905
Oh, you know what?
194
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,406
Forget about a mattress.
195
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,241
I'm gonna buy a waterbed,
196
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,276
and I'm gonna fill it
full of champagne.
197
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,713
Hank, don't be spending money
before you got it.
198
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,381
That's just about the
most foolish thing you can do.
199
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:11,585
Guess who's been spending
their balls off.
200
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,622
Wha...?
201
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:17,190
Where are the groceries
I asked you to buy?
202
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,459
And why are you dressed
like a Build-A-Bear?
203
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,930
Why are you dressed like
the manager at a pumpkin patch?
204
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,635
We can both be mean, Margaret.
205
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,070
Who wears a fur in Arizona?
206
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,072
If I'm gonna live
in Shady Meadows West,
207
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,307
I got to look the part.
208
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:37,277
What part is that?
The oldest Ewok?
209
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,247
How did you afford all of this?
210
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,617
I set us up
a corporate credit card, silly.
211
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:45,252
The company pays for it.
212
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,154
We are the company.
213
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:51,291
We have got to hustle
if we're gonna fill this order
214
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,926
before Edie gets home.
215
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,662
This is a golden
opportunity, guys.
216
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,296
Come on, let's get to work.
217
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:58,398
Whoa, Margaret, calm down.
218
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,634
You seem a little emotional.
219
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,503
Don't worry about it.
I got this.
220
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:06,674
You're right.
I am being a little emotional.
221
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,776
Typical woman, right?
222
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,310
-You get it.
223
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,846
Oh, she gets it. Yeah.
224
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,614
Hank, as long as
you're in charge,
225
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:18,351
would you mind if I ran out
and got all of the supplies
226
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:21,822
that Sid forgot and maybe
have myself a... a good cry?
227
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,657
I approve that.
228
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,794
Have fun.
229
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,496
Finally.
230
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,599
Now maybe
we can get some work done.
231
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,306
Hank, if we're gonna
get rich off this thing,
232
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,808
we need a jingle.
233
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,209
I'm thinking something like...
234
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,711
* Lookee, lookee *
235
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,979
* Charlie's got a cookie. *
236
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,448
All right, sing that song again.
Let me put some stank on it.
237
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,350
* Lookee, lookee *
238
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,619
* Charlie's got a cookie *
239
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,454
* Lookee, lookee *
240
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,457
* Charlie's got a cookie. *
241
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,659
-Well, that's done.
-Mm.
242
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,698
That's my boss.
243
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,070
Hey, Charlie.
244
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,905
I'm glad you're alone.
245
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:15,909
Aren't we all really,
at the end of the day?
246
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,411
Yeah, things got a little heated
there earlier,
247
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,814
so, uh, I brought over
a little peace offering.
248
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,816
-Ooh.
249
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:26,519
This is a strain called
"Nipple of the Gods."
250
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:29,422
It is grown
just outside of Humboldt.
251
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:33,193
I don't need the whole story,
J.K. Rowling. Just spark it up.
252
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,731
* Lookee, lookee *
253
00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:40,167
* Charlie's got a cookie *
254
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,270
* Lookee, lookee,
Charlie's got a cookie. *
255
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,372
That's the best one yet.
256
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:48,876
I think that four-hour rehearsal
we had today really helped.
257
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,511
I've just got to
quadruple-check.
258
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,546
It's a "no" on my choreography?
259
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,714
Yeah.
260
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,619
Wait a minute.
What is going on here?
261
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,923
-Every table is eating
our cookies.
Wow.
262
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,925
-Uh, hey, baby,
where'd you get these from?
-Oh.
263
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:07,761
A red-haired woman
sold those to us,
264
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:12,399
and Susan wouldn't buy any,
and she called her the "B" word.
265
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,701
-Margaret.
-Yes, that's it.
266
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,304
That's funny, because when
she came over the other night,
267
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,773
-she didn't mention anything
about this.
-Wait. Hold up.
268
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:22,810
-She came to see you?
-: Yeah, it was fun.
269
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,311
She got me really stoned,
270
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,046
and she brought out
these legal documents
271
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,481
and challenged me
to a signature contest, and I...
272
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,951
-Oh, geez.
-Margaret.
273
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:34,021
But who won the contest?
274
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,558
Margaret!
275
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,928
Margaret,
open up the door right now!
276
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,296
Everything okay, Hank?
277
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,966
Because you sound
really emotional.
278
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,101
What is going on in here?
279
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,569
Well, I'm running
a successful business
280
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,271
the way I always wanted to.
281
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:54,641
Hard-working employees,
breaks to call grandkids,
282
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,810
orders being fulfilled on time,
283
00:12:56,844 --> 00:13:00,914
and a business plan that does
not involve miniature furs.
284
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,183
This is a youth large.
285
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,319
Blah, blah, blah.
286
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,356
This doesn't change the fact
that you stole this business.
287
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,625
I did not steal it.
I bought it fair and square.
288
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,527
How can it be fair
when you tricked me?
289
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,696
I did not trick you.
You gave me the recipe.
290
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,132
You said I could buy the company
for a dollar.
291
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,001
I said I didn't have a dollar.
292
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,837
You said, "Good enough."
You gave me the company.
293
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,705
Does sound kind of familiar,
Hank.
294
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,307
Yeah, well, screw that.
295
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,476
We gonna find
our own cookie buyers.
296
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,811
And I know real fat people,
Margaret.
297
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:34,114
Come on, y'all.
Let's go get some supplies.
298
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,983
Yeah, well,
about those supplies.
299
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,285
We don't have any money left.
300
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:42,722
Somebody maxed out
our company credit card.
301
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,992
It was your boy.
302
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,861
-Damn it, Sid!
-Well, it wasn't just me.
303
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:51,664
You should see how much
Charlie has blown on weed.
304
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:55,335
We got somebody on the payroll
named Dank Steve.
305
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,071
You know, I've been biting
my tongue on this all week,
306
00:13:58,105 --> 00:14:00,740
but, uh...
he prefers Dank Steven.
307
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:06,313
You know, guys, I couldn't help
but overhear that you suck,
308
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,215
and you've run your company
309
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,050
into the ground,
and you have no money.
310
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:13,053
-We did not say that we suck.
-Oh, it was implied.
311
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:16,056
Anyway, I'm looking for some
extra hands in the kitchen
312
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,158
if you're interested
in working for me.
313
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,028
Over our dead bodies
will we humiliate ourselves
314
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,763
-by bending the knee to your...
You know, Hank,
315
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,733
she does sound like
she knows what she's doing.
316
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:30,670
Yeah, Hank. We all want that
Shady Meadows West life, but...
317
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,205
-Yeah.
-I don't see it happening
318
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,074
with you at the helm.
319
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,109
I'm with Margaret now.
320
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,377
Yeah, me, too.
321
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,878
You bunch of betrayers.
322
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,949
I hope you know this means war.
Cookie war!
323
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,351
Good luck trying to sell
something without a jingle.
324
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,387
Oh, you mean the jingle that
Charlie sold to me? Ladies?
325
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,722
* Lookee, lookee *
326
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,724
* Margaret's got a cookie. *
327
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,061
Damn, damn, damn!
328
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,132
Great job, team.
329
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,567
We're gonna have
these cookies done
330
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,969
with time to spare.
331
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,370
Sid, you're killing it,
332
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,305
but you need to take
that fur coat off,
333
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,942
or else cover your entire body
with a hair net.
334
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,810
Oh, I'll just take it off.
335
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:13,913
I do not know how
Russian prostitutes
336
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,183
get anything done in these.
337
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,220
Guys, we have got
a huge problem.
338
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,888
The oven is not working.
339
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,591
That's 'cause I just
turned the gas off.
340
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:29,396
Never mess with a retired
meter reader, baby.
341
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,165
Well, that is pretty stupid,
even for you, Hank.
342
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:34,667
I will just turn the gas
back on.
343
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,136
You don't know how. Ha!
344
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,438
Isn't it just a little valve
345
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,440
that you turn counterclockwise?
346
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,313
Maybe.
347
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,416
But sometimes you need a wrench.
348
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,584
You got a wrench, Margaret?
349
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,953
We could just call
24-hour maintenance.
350
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:57,190
This is Shady Meadows West.
They actually show up.
351
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:59,326
Shut up, Sid.
352
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,161
Everybody is turning against me.
353
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,696
I lost the company,
I lost my friends.
354
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,098
What is next?
355
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,699
Hank, you can have
all of that back
356
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,435
if you will just listen to me.
357
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,971
Well, that sounds like
a good idea... on opposite day!
358
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:16,643
I will never listen to anything
you have to say.
359
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,378
I am taking this company back.
360
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:21,114
Oh, you wouldn't know
what to do with it.
361
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:22,682
You're a meter maid!
362
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:28,288
Meter man. Meter man.
363
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,891
Oh...
Is that supposed to impress me?
364
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:34,994
Your job was wandering around
neighborhoods in shorts.
365
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:39,066
Pleated shorts!
Pleated dress shorts!
366
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,534
They're the half pants of kings.
367
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,640
Well... so, how you gonna
make cookies now,
368
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,009
now that you don't have
any flour?
369
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,644
That is sugar, Hank.
370
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:55,382
So... now you gonna get ants.
371
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,885
And-and how you gonna sell
all these cookies
372
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:02,222
if you can't find them?
373
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:06,926
Oh, I'll save the cookies for...
Ah! Hot, hot, hot, hot tray!
374
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:09,329
-Oops.
-Oh!
375
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,830
-Sorry. My bad.
376
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,500
Oh, you are such a baby!
377
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,369
Would a baby
ever do this?
378
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:23,243
Hey! Look at yourselves.
379
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,112
This was supposed to be fun,
380
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,247
and now you're tearing
at each other's throats.
381
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,882
-And for what?
382
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:33,553
A little extra money?
383
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,955
-You can't enjoy cookies...
-Oh!
384
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,390
...without a little milk!
385
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:38,725
-Stop it!
386
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,127
Stop it!
387
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,795
What the hell is
the matter with you?!
388
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:46,233
I told you how important this
was to me, and you ruined it!
389
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,034
Why?! Why, Hank?
390
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,237
Because I did something
you couldn't do?
391
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:53,506
-What's that, have babies?
-There's that, too!
392
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:02,582
Can somebody show me
how to turn this thing off?
393
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:15,061
Boy, she's working that ball
pretty hard.
394
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,830
Should we wait
till she tires out a little?
395
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,666
No, let's get right to it.
396
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,901
Charlie, you go in first.
You've seen combat.
397
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,571
Uh, you don't survive
by going in first.
398
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,273
All right.
399
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:29,909
Hey, girl.
How's your day going?
400
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,944
Go away. I'm busy.
401
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,846
Uh, listen,
402
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,616
I'm not very good
at apologies, so, um...
403
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,018
we cool?
404
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,754
What Hank means to say
405
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,424
is that he's sorry.
That's what you mean to say,
406
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,626
Hank, right? I don't want
to put words in your mouth,
407
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:49,762
but you tell Margaret
you're sorry right now.
408
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,366
I'll say I'm sorry
when I'm ready.
409
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,968
All right, I'm ready.
410
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:59,206
So, um, I'm not good
with apologies,
411
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,708
-but I was watching that show,
uh, This Is Us.
-Yeah.
412
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:05,345
And the black dude on the show
would say, uh...
413
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:09,182
I can kind of be a jerk
when people tell me what to do.
414
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,351
Especially when they're right.
415
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,286
Well, I-I'm kind of
the same way.
416
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,854
Except I'm usually right,
417
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:17,724
so it's not that big
of a problem for me.
418
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,559
Hey, Tom, don't be petty.
419
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,396
No?
420
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:25,998
Look, guys...
421
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,567
when I watched my ex-husband
422
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,302
run our business
into the ground,
423
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:32,839
I swore I would never
let a man steamroll me again.
424
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:36,175
I mean, I love hanging out
with you guys, but I'm...
425
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,044
sick of being condescended to.
426
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:39,812
I'm sick of being ignored,
427
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,348
-I'm sick of being...
-Margaret...
428
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,217
I'm sick of being interrupted.
429
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:48,187
It's not the 1950s, you guys.
430
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,690
Times have changed,
and you have to change, too.
431
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,326
I'm not saying you have to agree
with me all the time,
432
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,362
but I need to be heard.
433
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:57,564
Well, Margaret,
you know what they say.
434
00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:00,500
Men are from Mars,
and women are from...
435
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,669
Well, my mother
was from Philadelphia,
436
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,771
-but she grew up in a small...
-Charlie. Charlie.
437
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,908
We were stupid
to not listen to you.
438
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:12,579
Yeah, and if your ex didn't
listen to you, he's stupid, too.
439
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:15,615
You know, if we all pitch in,
440
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:18,418
it's not too late to finish
that cookie order.
441
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,788
What do you say, boss?
442
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:26,225
What do I say?
What do I say?
443
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:29,362
* Lookee, lookee *
444
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:31,798
* We got us a cookie *
445
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,633
* Lookee, lookee *
446
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,935
* We got us a cookie *
447
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,570
* Lookee, lookee *
448
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,406
* We got us a cookie *
449
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,807
* Lookee, lookee *
450
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,609
* We got us a cookie *
451
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:45,712
-Remix!
452
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,046
* Lookee, lookee, lookee... *
453
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,848
Hey.
454
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:53,185
What the hell did you do
to my apartment?
455
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,656
Edie, you're home early.
456
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,190
How was Mulan?
457
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:02,128
I'm gonna be honest with you.
458
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,631
Edie, I completely forgot
459
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:08,167
to water your plants.
460
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,937
Feel free to help yourself
to some cookies.
461
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,074
And if you find any change
in this chair, it's mine.
462
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,110
* Lookee, lookee *
463
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,179
-* We got us a cookie *
464
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:21,781
* Lookee, lookee *
465
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:23,816
* We got us a cookie *
466
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:25,352
* Lookee, lookee *
467
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,286
* We got us a cookie. *
468
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,321
That's pretty good.
469
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:32,291
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