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1
00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:05,673
Hey, Charlie, there you are.
2
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,508
You forgot your hat
in the dining room.
3
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,743
I don't think
I've ever seen you without it.
4
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:12,313
Thought maybe you had a Mohawk
under there.
5
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,948
No, I didn't forget it.
6
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:17,685
I'm courting a woman.
7
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,887
I never wear my hat
when I'm courting.
8
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,155
How do I look?
9
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,191
Cool?
10
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:26,160
So, tell me about this woman.
11
00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:27,995
Well, her name is Kathleen.
12
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,998
She hosts a group here
three times a week.
13
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,867
And the moment I saw her,
I fell hard, man.
14
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,736
Wow, Charlie, I've never
heard you talk like this.
15
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,438
It's so sweet.
16
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:38,806
So, what are you doing?
17
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,474
You meeting up for lunch,
you going to a movie?
18
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,676
Oh, God, no.
19
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,278
We've never talked.
20
00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:47,348
No, that happens in six
to eight weeks. I have a system.
21
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,350
Right now we're in phase two.
22
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,253
It's what the Mossad calls
"Intelligence Gathering."
23
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,021
Okay, see, the word "Mossad"
24
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,424
should never factor into
your dating game.
25
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:59,360
I got a crazy idea--
why don't you just talk to her?
26
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,994
-Talk to her?
27
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,896
Margaret, can you be serious
for a second?
28
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,233
This is my life
we're talking about.
29
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,368
What is the issue?
30
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,238
Well, I haven't dated in
forever, and I got to go slow.
31
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,406
After six divorces,
you start to think
32
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,075
maybe you're bad with women.
33
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,878
-Thank you.
-Oh, there she is.
34
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,381
Wow, Charlie,
35
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,350
-she's beautiful.
-Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:25,853
You sure you don't want to set
your sights a little lower?
37
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:29,257
How about this cute gal in here
with the eye patch?
38
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:33,194
Uh, no, I don't like
her politics.
39
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,529
Kathleen's the one.
40
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,198
Well, then I got
a new system for you.
41
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,366
-Turn around.
-What?
42
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,234
-Get over there.
-Wh...
43
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,502
Oh!
44
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,937
Hello. Um, hi.
45
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:45,673
Are you here for the group?
46
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:49,510
Um, I'll answer that question
in six to eight weeks.
47
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:50,711
:
Oh, my God.
48
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:54,248
Oh.
49
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:56,917
Knew we should've started
with the eye patch gal.
50
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,912
Um, Allison?
51
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,448
I just wanted
to extend a thank-you
52
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:31,084
for asking me to be the anchor
of the Shady Meadows News.
53
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,321
Mm. I don't know
if I'd call it news.
54
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,823
It's just reading
the daily announcements.
55
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,559
So I assume that you realized
that the broadcast
56
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:42,330
needed a jolt of my gravitas?
57
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:46,500
No, I realized the guy
who used to do it died.
58
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,437
Go away, Allison.
59
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:56,410
Wow, the Shady Meadows News.
60
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:59,380
Hank, have you been practicing
your anchorman voice?
61
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,948
Check this out.
62
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,084
You've been watching
the Shady Meadows News
63
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,354
with Hank Henderson.
Good night.
64
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,322
And to my Spanish-speaking
viewers,
65
00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:12,025
buenas... night.
66
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:15,229
You guys, Margaret made me
talk to a woman.
67
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:18,098
And get this,
I had just started phase two.
68
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,868
What? That is crazy.
69
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,471
Phase two usually lasts six
to eight weeks.
70
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,205
Wait a minute,
you guys know about all this
71
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,408
crazy phase stuff and you
haven't tried to help him?
72
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,810
Girl, we've been trying
to help him for years.
73
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,346
Yeah, I mean, if a couple of
primo studs like me and Sid
74
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,947
can't help him out, nobody can.
75
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,484
Primo studs?
76
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,852
You two?
77
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,154
We're just gonna let that go by?
78
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,225
Okay.
79
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:47,628
Maybe I'm just hopeless.
80
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,397
Oh, Charlie,
you're not hopeless.
81
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:52,300
You're just getting advice
from people who are hopeless.
82
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,234
And do you think you could
do better?
83
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,404
Like you're some
great wingwoman?
84
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,971
Hell yes, I am.
85
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,540
If Charlie takes my advice,
86
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,509
he'll be with Kathleen
by the end of the week.
87
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,312
Wow, 'cause I got a great
first date planned.
88
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:07,848
We're gonna
help my buddy Dave move.
89
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:10,584
End of the month.
90
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:17,925
Everyone, take a seat, please.
91
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:20,461
Oh, happy to see a couple
new faces here.
92
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,597
That's me.
She's talking about my face.
93
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:24,832
Yeah. You see?
94
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,534
-This is all courtesy of
your wingwoman.
-Yeah.
95
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:29,370
So, let's just pretend like
we belong in her group,
96
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,971
and then when it's over,
we'll introduce ourselves
97
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,540
-and I'll talk you up.
-Okay.
98
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,041
What do you think this group
is about, anyway?
99
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,909
Oh, I hope it's not AA
100
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,711
'cause I still got
my lunch buzz going.
101
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:41,949
Well, fingers crossed
it's sex addicts.
102
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,891
Jesse, do you want to go first?
103
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:54,428
H-Hi. I-I'm Jesse.
104
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,764
-Yeah.
-It's been a tough couple
of years.
105
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,566
I-I still miss my wife.
106
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,434
Perfect.
I think this is some kind of
107
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:02,903
a sad-sack singles group.
108
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,573
Aw... That's okay.
109
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:08,909
Everyone deals with the death
of a spouse differently.
110
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:18,318
They could still be sex addicts.
111
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,888
Thanks for letting me
tag along, buddy.
112
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,123
I've always had an interest
in show business.
113
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,360
It's gonna be fun to finally
get a peek behind the curtain.
114
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:29,730
Well, peek away, Sidney.
This is it!
115
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:33,100
The big time.
116
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,070
Oh, uh, Allison?
117
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,573
Just so I can get an idea
of our audience,
118
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,174
what sort of ratings
are you, uh,
119
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,810
looking for
in our key demographic?
120
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,613
Well, this is closed-circuit TV
in a retirement community.
121
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,616
There are baby monitors
reaching a bigger audience.
122
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:53,020
Look at this.
123
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:56,023
Oh, feels good.
124
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:58,025
Oh, yeah.
125
00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,627
Well, let me just...
126
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,662
...do my vocal--
my vocal warm-ups.
127
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,597
Bi-bim-bap.
128
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,566
:
Bi-bi-bim-bap.
129
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:09,837
I'll-I'll have the bi-bim-bap.
130
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,508
All good on this end.
Y'all ready to rock and roll?
131
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:15,776
Sure, Hank.
132
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,310
We go live in three,
133
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,979
two, one. Action.
134
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:25,953
:
Hank.
135
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,721
Read the script.
136
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,192
Read it out loud, Hank.
137
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,862
:
The, um, golf course is closed
138
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,597
due to the recent swan attacks.
139
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,332
Our thoughts are with Ronnie
Sinclair for a speedy recovery.
140
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,001
How is he so bad at this?
141
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,870
All he has to do
is read the menu,
142
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,271
the events,
and the death of the day.
143
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,506
I know.
144
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,407
It's like, "There's pot roast
145
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,043
"in the kitchen,
square dancing in the rec room,
146
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:54,915
and Marilyn Bartlett
is in the ground." Boom!
147
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,485
Yeah. Exactly like that.
148
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,919
You guys, don't forget about,
149
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,922
uh, bingo Wednesday and...
150
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,092
We still can't hear you, Hank.
151
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:08,629
:
Um, this week, we got...
152
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:11,899
We got Salisbury steak this week
in the kitchen.
153
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,701
-I like Salisbury steak
154
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,670
'cause it's good.
155
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:19,272
Um...
156
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:21,208
This guy sucks!
157
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,878
We got to get out of here.
158
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,514
We do not have dead spouses.
159
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,782
I certainly wish my ex was dead,
but this is wrong.
160
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:29,983
No, no, no, no, no.
161
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:32,252
-This is amazing.
162
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,055
I mean, I'm-I'm sitting
next to Kathleen
163
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,224
and she smells like cinnamon
and dreams.
164
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,692
I mean, look at her, Margaret.
165
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,561
She's an angel.
166
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:44,097
My wife's an angel now, too.
167
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,266
This guy gets it.
168
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,803
Oh, do you want
to share with us?
169
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:51,271
He does not. He's good.
170
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,140
He's not a sharer. Uh, next.
171
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,108
This dude looks pretty sad.
172
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:59,780
It's okay, sweetie.
173
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:04,417
Remember, everyone,
this is a safe space.
174
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,153
A sacred space.
175
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,656
Do you hear that?
Sacred. We got to go.
176
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,324
No, she called me sweetie.
177
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,163
Don't you want
to speak your truth?
178
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:19,332
-So you can move forward?
-Mm.
179
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:22,369
Um, the truth is...
180
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,705
I got a dead wife.
181
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,814
I'm gonna get my groove back
on today's broadcast.
182
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,283
You know, I figured out
why I had my little, uh,
183
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,952
issue yesterday.
I wasn't properly hydrated.
184
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:41,722
Oh, Hank, you really think
it was a hydration issue
185
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,523
and not just stage fright?
186
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,158
Stage fright?
That's ridiculous.
187
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,394
I just got to get
my waters right.
188
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,998
Why did you tell her
you had a dead wife?
189
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:54,301
I panicked, okay? I blew it.
190
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:57,537
Or did I?
Hey, hear me out.
191
00:08:57,571 --> 00:09:00,674
What if we killed
one of my ex-wives?
192
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,677
I'm thinking of Joyce.
She's the slowest.
193
00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:06,614
Y'all talking about
killing wives?
194
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:10,718
Well, I guess that wingwoman
thing isn't going so well.
195
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,452
She did her best.
196
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,588
I mean, it's me
she's dealing with here,
197
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,657
not a couple of primo studs
like you two.
198
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:21,061
Okay, gonna have to flag the
"primo stud" thing right now.
199
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,363
Don't change the subject,
Margaret.
200
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,533
Admit it, you tried to be
Charlie's wingwoman
201
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,368
and you failed.
202
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,038
So say it:
"I'm a red-headed failure."
203
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,706
Say it!
204
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:35,676
I am not a red-headed failure.
205
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:38,612
This is "sparkling sherry."
206
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,582
We're gonna get Kathleen
for you,
207
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,485
and we're gonna shut up
these primo studs.
208
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,421
Primo studs? Us?
209
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,291
How sweet of you, Margaret.
Thank you.
210
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,868
:
Ah...
211
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,369
My levels are good.
212
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:03,937
The Hank tank is full.
213
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,273
Let's make some news!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
214
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,141
What's going on, Allison?
215
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,843
Why they got two chairs
at the desk?
216
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:12,179
And why does one of them
have three phone books on it?
217
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,447
They're for my bottom.
218
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,583
Surprise!
We're gonna be cohosts.
219
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,085
Wait, what?
220
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,253
Is this 'cause of
what happened yesterday?
221
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,490
I told you,
that was a hydration issue.
222
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:24,858
I solved it!
223
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:27,594
You hear all that sloshing?
224
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,463
Oh, I'm just here
for emotional support.
225
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,499
You're still the star, baby.
226
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,868
Yeah, well, why do I
only got one line?
227
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,804
"Hi, I'm Hank Henderson.
228
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,238
-Here's Sid."
-Ooh.
229
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,974
Did I not cut that line?
230
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,310
Maybe we could
give him one more line.
231
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,113
I don't want your pity lines!
232
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,681
This is an atrocity.
233
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,549
I gave birth to this baby,
and you're gonna let him
234
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,451
just steal it
and raise it himself?
235
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,154
You trying
to Rumpelstiltskin my ass!
236
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,790
And don't say,
"Oh, no, Hank, we not trying
237
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:59,626
to Rumpelstiltskin your ass,"
'cause that sounds just like
238
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,628
something Rumpelstiltskin
would say!
239
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,096
This is so predictable, Allison.
240
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,465
-That's why your show sucks.
-Hank,
241
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,768
-take a breath.
-Nah, I'm-a take a breath
'cause I want to take breath.
242
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,336
I ain't taking a breath just
'cause you told me to take
243
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,471
a breath. I feel like
taking a breath.
244
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,842
I'm walking, you
Rumpelstiltskin-ass suckers!
245
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,613
Yikes.
246
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:23,650
That was devastating to watch.
247
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,886
I don't know
248
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:29,790
if I'll be even able to perform.
249
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,792
Three, two, one.
250
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,161
Good evening, Shady Meadows!
251
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:38,631
Elaine Jenkinson's
left her dentures
252
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:40,567
in the dining hall today.
253
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,103
When asked for a comment,
Elaine said,
254
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,976
"Where's my teeth?"
255
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,613
Coming to this group
is your only shot
256
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,283
at making a real connection
with Kathleen.
257
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,351
And in order to do that,
we have to make your lie
258
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,353
emotionally true.
259
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,189
I mean, this group
is about loss, Charlie.
260
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,191
You've experienced loss, right?
261
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:08,395
Well, I still can't find
the clicker for my Roku.
262
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:12,399
Dig even deeper.
263
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,935
I once had a dog.
264
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:18,939
And when that pooch died,
a part of me died, too.
265
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,574
That is great.
266
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:25,345
Okay. So, when you're talking
about your fake dead wife,
267
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:28,782
-Mm-hmm?
-be thinking about
your real dead dog.
268
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,851
-Got it.
-Oh, and, uh,
don't mention the Roku.
269
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,052
-Got it.
-Yeah.
270
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,420
Do or don't?
271
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,388
Don't.
272
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,390
Got it.
273
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,027
And just to be clear, um,
it's the Roku remote.
274
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,029
I have the Roku.
275
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:45,298
That's the frustrating part
of this whole thing.
276
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:53,974
Well, shall we all get started?
277
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:58,378
Charlie, you were beginning
to share at the last session.
278
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:00,647
-Mm-hmm.
-Would you like to keep going?
279
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,684
Okay. But it's...
280
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,420
it's kind of hard because, um,
281
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,057
-she was my best friend.
-Oh.
282
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:13,126
-She had soulful eyes.
-Ah.
283
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,561
Oh, gee.
284
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:16,763
Great, big ears.
285
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:20,700
:
Oh, dear.
286
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,436
And a tail
that just wouldn't quit.
287
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:28,808
Well, attraction is important.
288
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,844
We used to love to play Frisbee.
289
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:32,445
Oh.
290
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,949
She'd always fall asleep
right between my legs.
291
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:46,293
She chewed the hell
out of our couch.
292
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,794
Well, after a hard day
at the office,
293
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,597
who hasn't chewed
a couch? I mean,
294
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,833
I mean, that's just
called being human.
295
00:13:58,105 --> 00:14:00,840
What was her name?
296
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,310
Please let it be a human name.
297
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,446
Her name was Buttons.
298
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,081
Oh! Oh.
299
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,517
It's okay. Let it out.
300
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,028
-Yeah.
301
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,030
I still can't believe that
dog-wife story worked.
302
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,898
Especially after
you told everybody
303
00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:27,467
how she used to rub her ass
on the carpet.
304
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:31,104
But, hey, it got you a date.
305
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,605
Yeah. I-Is it a date?
306
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,475
'Cause she said
it was follow-up therapy.
307
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:38,111
Mm, any one-on-one conversation
can become a date.
308
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,913
-Okay.
-You just got to steer it away
309
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:42,215
from the grief stuff.
Try and keep it light.
310
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,517
Okay. I could talk about lasers.
311
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,357
You know what, Charlie?
312
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:54,027
If you want to talk about
lasers, you talk about lasers.
313
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:57,164
All right? And, uh, just
remember, you're not a loser,
314
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,598
you're a catch.
315
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,000
And I got a backup plan
316
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,334
-if it starts to go south.
-Thank you.
317
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,073
Oh. Hi, Kathleen.
318
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,874
-Hi.
-Thank you for coming.
319
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,442
Of course.
320
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:12,946
You made a big breakthrough
in group this week,
321
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,982
and I'm-I'm proud of you.
322
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,017
-Oh.
323
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:20,653
Well, it's courtesy of the
hottest therapist I've ever met.
324
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,522
Sit down.
325
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,924
Uh, okay.
326
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:32,532
Um, I brought some grief
pamphlets you might find useful.
327
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,234
Uh-huh. Well, good news.
328
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,868
-I don't need them.
-Oh!
329
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:39,006
-You're that good.
330
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:43,943
One of those pamphlets you just
tossed aside is about avoidance.
331
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,546
Are any of them
about how beautiful
332
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,548
you look in the afternoon sun?
333
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,151
I mean, not that I've been
watching you from afar.
334
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,253
-I'm-- that-that's what
the Mossad does,
335
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,687
but I would never...
336
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:55,955
Hey, Charlie!
337
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,858
And, uh, and Kathleen, is it?
338
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,561
Uh, yes.
You're in my grief group.
339
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:04,364
I, uh, I happen to have
this freshly-opened bottle
340
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,000
-of champagne.
-Why?
341
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:11,504
I was on my way to a boat
christening.
342
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,473
-In Arizona?
-Yeah, well,
343
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:16,109
they canceled it.
344
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,911
Anyway, so this, uh,
this hooch is up for grabs.
345
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,813
Would you like some?
346
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,882
-No, I think
we're-we're good here.
-No, no, no, no.
347
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:26,186
Drink the champagne,
Charlie. Enjoy.
348
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,988
Oh, that's...
349
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,761
Well, I-I don't
usually drink champagne
350
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,429
this early in the day.
351
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,398
Yeah. More of a whiskey
in the morning kind of gal?
352
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,501
Charlie. You're funny.
353
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:42,835
Really?
354
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:45,705
Well...
355
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:49,042
this is wildly inappropriate
for a therapy session,
356
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:53,680
but would you like to clink
with your shrink?
357
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,448
-You like lasers?
358
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,384
-I do.
359
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:09,462
Sid, we need to talk.
360
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,030
I've been looking everywhere
for you.
361
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:12,899
Yeah, I've been trying
to keep a low profile.
362
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,634
My show kind of blew up.
363
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:18,638
Allison said
tens of people watched.
364
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,808
So you think you got fans now,
after one show?
365
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:26,179
Mr. Delacroix, will you sign
an autograph for my friend?
366
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,715
Sure. What's your friend's name,
Dudley?
367
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,651
Uh... uh, Dudley?
368
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:34,053
So I assume you're gonna
want my autograph, too?
369
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,688
This is awkward.
370
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,825
I can't believe you betrayed me
like that.
371
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,193
When I walked out of that door,
372
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,694
you should've been
right behind me.
373
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,297
Well, I would've,
but there's one problem, Hank.
374
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:46,966
I'm a friggin' newsman.
375
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,904
In three, two, one.
376
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,906
Hello, Shady Meadows!
377
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:04,851
You guys mind if I pop on
the old boob tube?
378
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:08,087
-I never miss Sid's show.
No, wait, wait.
379
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,622
Dudley. Dudley,
380
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,391
turn off the TV. Turn...
381
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,327
People are trying to fall
in love over here.
382
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,729
We're not done, Sid.
383
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,199
Hank, we are on the air.
384
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,600
Yeah, well, the only reason
why you're on the air
385
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,235
is 'cause you stole my show.
386
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,870
I deserve that chair
387
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:26,005
and all of the respect
that comes with it.
388
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,275
You could've had
that respect, Hank.
389
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,277
All you had to do
was share it with me.
390
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:35,148
But no, you have to always
be the center of attention.
391
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:37,684
Here's a newsflash: you sucked.
392
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,320
You were a flipping disaster.
393
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,555
Oh, yeah? Well, Charlie
was a disaster, too,
394
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:45,024
but Margaret didn't give up
on him. You know why?
395
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,693
'Cause she's a good friend.
396
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,329
Oh, you really want to use
Margaret as an example?
397
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:53,065
She's having Charlie pretend
to have a dead wife
398
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:56,569
so he can bang
a grief counselor!
399
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,321
Sidney.
400
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,023
Hanklin.
401
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:19,292
About our fight yesterday...
402
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,160
I'm listening.
403
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:24,063
Although I hate to admit it,
perhaps I did have
404
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,566
the tiniest case
of stage fright.
405
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,635
But you were better
than me on camera.
406
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,102
Well, thank you.
407
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:32,505
That's very big of you to say.
408
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,275
I think I probably did so well
409
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,977
because I drank so much water.
410
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,680
I learned that from you.
411
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:41,748
You really mean that?
412
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:44,183
Yes, I-I do.
413
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:47,687
Charlie.
414
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,689
-You're wearing your hat.
-Yeah.
415
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,692
So, I guess you're not, uh,
courting Kathleen anymore?
416
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,761
Did Sid and I screw that up
for you?
417
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:59,131
Yeah. But I'm just
as much to blame.
418
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,503
Kathleen,
what are you doing here?
419
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,473
Well, I told her
this was all my idea,
420
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,041
and that you never would've lied
if it wasn't for me.
421
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,977
He's-he's a real sweetheart.
422
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:12,645
I know he is.
423
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:16,816
I had a feeling you were talking
about your dog in group,
424
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,685
but I didn't want to say
anything in case you really did
425
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,788
have a dead wife named Buttons.
426
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:25,057
My daddy's name was Marmaduke.
427
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:32,299
Well, the truth is,
I really like you.
428
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,301
-And I'm sorry I lied,
429
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:38,371
and I'm just, I'm just not good
at this dating thing.
430
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:41,841
:
Oh, I'm terrible at it.
431
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:44,176
That's why I started this
grief group, hoping to meet...
432
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,979
single guys.
433
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:50,517
Wow! This is great.
434
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:53,185
You are both super weird.
435
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:55,788
You're gonna have
a lot to talk about.
436
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,491
Maybe you should go for a walk?
437
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,192
That's a fantastic idea.
438
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,495
Okay. I just got
to grab my jacket.
439
00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:05,332
No, no. I got you. Here you go.
440
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,099
Thanks.
441
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:09,769
Um, Margaret,
can you hang onto this for me?
442
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,604
Go get her, Charlie.
443
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:14,273
Thank you, Margaret.
444
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:19,412
Well, it looks like I did it,
boys.
445
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:22,281
And it, uh, it didn't
even take me a week.
446
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:25,051
This just in, breaking news,
447
00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:28,888
turns out Margaret isn't a
crappy wingwoman after all.
448
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:31,223
Questions still remain
449
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:34,927
as to why she's not helping
these two primo studs
450
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:37,964
-get a little action.
- You guys are too much.
451
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,900
We're serious, woman.
You got to get us laid.
452
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:42,134
-Today!
-Oh!
453
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,837
Get up! Get to pimping, girl.
454
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:47,607
That's pretty good.
455
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:51,578
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