All language subtitles for The.Cool.Kids.S01E07.Thanksgiving.at.Murrays.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_eng

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You are cordially invited
to Dudley's Thanksgiving.

It's a hot ticket.

Very exclusive.

Please come.

Get out of here, Dudley.
We already have plans.

Well, let me know
if anything changes.

:
Well...

what areyou guys doing
for Thanksgiving?

Well, I think the question
you should be asking is:

what are wedoing
for Thanksgiving?

Yes, Margaret, since tomorrow
is your very first Thanksgiving

here at Shady Meadows,

I would like to issue
a formal invitation

for you to have dinner with us
at the renowned Tucson hot spot

Chez Sid!

Margaret, you're
really gonna enjoy it.

Sid makes all the classics.

Yam casserole.
Green bean casserole.

Stuffing casserole.

And of course,
his fabled casserole casserole.

Oh, well, thank you
for the invitation, you guys.

As delicious as a four-casserole
Thanksgiving sounds...

Uh-bup-bup,
there's 12 casseroles, Margaret.

We were just giving you
the highlights.

: Yeah. We didn't
want to blow your mind.

Well, I appreciate that.

But I-I actually
already have plans.

With who? Dudley's
the only other game in town,

and that is too dark
to even think about.

Well, he's not
the onlyother game in town.

Well, who else?

Oh, wait a minute,

not Murray and the food snobs!

Well, now,
I've already dry-brined

and spatchcocked the turkey,

which will,
of course, be divine.

Francine, love your
ciabatta and sausage stuffing.

But, uh, go easy
on the sage this year.

This isn't a Wiccan festival.

Note taken, Murray.

And I apologize if I've
let you down in the past.

And, Norman,

if you bring another
of your oak-y Chardonnays,

you'll be banished
to the cafeteria

along with the rest
of these mouth-breathers.

You know, I actually prefer
breathing through my mouth.

It's so much easier.
It's just...

Yeah. That's so nice.

And how'd you score
an invite, anyway?

They hate everyone.
Even me.

Can you wrap your head
around that?

Murray just came up to me
and invited me, and I,

I don't mind, he's kind of cute.

And that British accent.

Cheerio.

Well, all that food sounds wack.

I didn't hear the word
"casserole" in there once.

Margaret, let me
explain something to you.

We forbid you from going
over there for Thanksgiving!

You know, Thanksgiving is a time

to be with the people
you care about.

That's why we all told our kids
that we have the flu.

-So we could hang out here
and party.
Mm-hmm.

Exactly. Nothing should come
between us on Thanksgiving Day.

Murray gave me a plus-one.

-Me! Me, me, me!
-Oh, no.
-Margaret!

-Me, me, me, me, me...
-Margaret! Margaret.

Okay, I, uh,
think the choice is obvious.

You can't spell Thanksgiving
without "Hank." That's me.

I'm Hank, so...

Oh. I was gonna pitch myself,
but that was so convincing.

I think you should take Hank.

Margaret!
Please, please pick me.

This little kitty wants
a fancy feast.

Sid. You're preparing
your own Thanksgiving.

You can't go to somebody else's.

Watch me.
Margaret, please pick me.

You know that I am
the classiest of the three.

Well...

the bar is a little low.

But yeah, I-I pick Sid.

:
Hurray! Hurray!

I told you I was the classiest.

But what are we supposed
to do now? You're preparing

-our Thanksgiving!
Yeah.

Well, you can cook it.

Everything's in my apartment.

Happy Thanksgiving, guys.

Come on, girl,
we are moving on up.

Plans fall through?
That's my target audience.

I got more.

Ooh... I'm so excited.

And hungry.

I didn't eat all day
in anticipation.

Same. I even did an hour
on the elliptical

just to work up an appetite.

All right, a half hour.

Fine. I went in the sauna.

There it is.

Okay, Sid, I'm kind of
interested in Murray,

so try to make me
look good in there.

But they are so ritzy.

Growing up in small-town Texas,

we didn't do fancy holidays.

One Christmas,
we ate a squirrel family

that was nesting in the attic.

Okay, that is horrifying.

Gee, Sid, I would've thought

that your palate would be
a little more refined.

Because I'm gay, Margaret?

Wow.

Well, I didn't mean

-just because you're...
-Oh...

what an ugly moment.

Margaret, gay people

can be trash, too, you know.

Okay, fine. From now on I will
recognize that you are trash.

Well, thank you.

In the meantime,
will you try to fit in here?

We're gonna have
the best meal of our lives.

Hi, y'all!

I brought a bottle of wine

for our dashing host.

It's from France.

Ooh. Did you hear that,
everyone?

France.

Oh, please. Meet my roommate,
Woof-Gang Puck.

Evergreen, Murray.

I love it more
every time I hear it.

Well, I wouldn't mind
woof-ing down

-some of these appetizers.
-Bup-bup-bup-bup,

my appetizer-sized friend.

All in due time.

Around here, we like
to tantalize the mind

as well as the palate.

What?

-Whew, that was exhausting.
Oh, yes, sir.

I'd feel a lot better about it
if we'd made something edible.

Yeah, well, I think the problem
here is neither one of us

knows how to cook.

-Amen, brother.
-Hey.

But, you know, Margaret
and Sid are coming right back.

-They are?
-Oh, yeah.

As soon as they walk into
Murray's, realize they're wrong,

they're gonna come rushing back,

begging to cook us the
Thanksgiving meal of our dreams.

Well, that is good, because it
would be a very sad Thanksgiving

if it was just the two of us
in Sid's apartment with no food.

:
Yes, indeed.

But no, they're coming back now.

They're coming right back
through that door.

So they're coming back

right...

now!

Right now!

It's not working, Hank.

No, they're coming back.

They're coming back.

-Yeah, say this with me.
-Okay.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Now!

Now!

Now!

Every year before dinner,
we play trivia.

Get a question right,
earn an appetizer.

: Oh. I love learning
when I'm hungry.

You love trivia, right, Sid?

Oh, 'deed I do.

'Deed I do.

'Deed I don't.
Margaret, I don't know anything.

Well, just roll with it,
because these appetizers

smell freakin' amazing.

First question!

Francine.

What varietals make up
a Bordeaux blend?

Getting a little
"Bordeaux" myself.

Starting with a softball,
eh, Murray?

Very well.

The answer is:
Cabernet Sauvignon,

Merlot and Cabernet Franc.

Correct!

This deviled quail's egg
is yours.

Mm. Mm.

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Oh. Mmm! Mmm!

:
Oh, my God.

Oh!

Oh, God, I love trivia.

That really made me upset.

There's a weird energy
in here, right?

Big-time.
But I am definitely staying

until I get one of those eggs.

:
Now.

Now.

You know, Hank,
I'm starting to think

-they're not coming back.
-Well, damn it, Charlie,

-the four of us
are supposed to be a team.
-I know.

Now we got no place to eat
Thanksgiving dinner.

Well...

Ah!

The natives have arrived
on Dudley Rock.

I bid thee welcome.

All right, you guys are up.

Mm, perhaps one of you will
finally get a question right.

God, I hope so.
I'm getting lightheaded.

Do you think we could get
an appetizer on loan?

Nope.

All right.

Name three hard
Italian cow's milk cheeses.

Ooh, I love cheese.
I got this one.

Remember, this is your
last chance to get an appetizer.

Italian cheese, Sid.
Say something Italian.

Ah-cheese-ah!

Ah-cheese-ah...

is not correct.

Game over.

You guys are all eating
appetizers; we're starving.

Couldn't we just eat some?

But, you didn't get
any questions right.

Don't worry, dinner's just
around the corner.

And it's gonna be incredible.

:
All right, Sid.

As it turns out,
Murray kind of blows,

but we've come too far
not to get that dinner.

So-so what? Are you just gonna
waste those appetizers?

Hmm? Oh, don't worry. They'll be
going to Woof-Gang Puck.

Uh, just the rules of the game.

But he didn't get
one question right.

Name one.
One Italian cheese.

Name one if you're such
a smart little bitch!

He's more of a cat person.

Where's the food, man?

Well, the turkey just went
into the oven.

So, our food should be ready
in a brisk four hours.

Is that when everyone else
is gonna show up?

Uh-huh.

All right, man, whatever.

Let's watch some football
until it's ready.

And where the hell
is your couch?

It's being reupholstered,
but, luckily,

I have these backless stools.

Are you kidding me?
Damn, Dudley.

Backless stools?

What is this, Venezuela?

Are we ready for the big game?

Well, at least we get football,
Hank.

What?

Radio?

That's right.
I don't own a TV.

I prefer to listen to the game
and imagine the players.

Well, you know what else you're
gonna be imagining?

-Us being here,
'cause we're leaving.
-Oh.

I don't care if Murray
didn't invite us, we're going.

Oh, wait, guys.

At least stay for a beer.

What kind of beer?

Root.

I know what you're doing here.

Do you? Because
I'm beginning to wonder.

You like Murray.

And you're wasting your time.

Murray isn't interested
in women.

-Mm.
-Or men.

He only has eyes for food.

You're mine.

What is in these appetizers?

So...

walk me through your
typical Thanksgiving menu

one more time so I can get it
exactly right.

Well, basically,
if it's in a can,

it goes in a casserole.

That is incredible.

Murray, they dine on casseroles.

Oh, I love 'em.

You can put
just about anything in 'em.

But you cannot skip the glue

that holds it all together:
the American cheese.

-Oh, my God.

I'd rather eat a bullet
than American cheese.

Oh, we all would, Francine.
We all would.

But don't worry.

-Tonight we dine in style.
-Mmm.

-Spanakopita.
-Oh.

-Lamb shanks that cascade
off the bone.
-Yes.

-Bacon-filled dates flown in
from Jerusalem.
-Mmm.

Okay, this all sounds
really amazing,

but if this stuff is cooking,
why don't I smell it?

Oh, I couldn't cook
all that here.

Didn't you hear the man?
There's spanakopita...

We got it, Francine!

A feast
of this size and scale

could only be prepared in
a commercial kitchen.

Uh, luckily, with Shady Meadows
closed for the holidays,

the dining hall
was just the place.

Okay, so when do I eat?

Soon. Oh, very soon.

-In fact, uh, we should
go check on our dishes.
-Ah.

Why don't we go down now,
and you two, uh,

well, stay here
and set the table. Hmm?

Uh, maybe, uh, clean up a bit.

The room. And yourselves.

Okay, this is super weird,
right?

What is going on here?

I'll tell you what's going on.

You are not doing

your share of the chores.

They've been gone
for over an hour.

I am ravenous.

Who locks their refrigerator?

Full disclosure.

I ate a pinch of fish food
a minute ago.

Fuller disclosure.

I almost ate the fish.

Screw you, Murray, I'm staying!

Well, where's Murray?

What are you guys doing here?

We had no other place to go.
Y'all bailed on us.

And we wound up at Dudley's.

-Dudley's!
-Yeah.

Where the hell is everybody?

Yeah, and where's the food?

Boys,
I don't think you understand

how classy parties work.

You only get food if you get
the trivia questions right.

If you get them wrong,
it goes to Murray's dog.

So they gave your food
to the dog,

and then the host
just left you here?

: Hank.

You are hopelessly
working class.

This is all totally normal.

Once we set the table
and clean ourselves...

...Murray and his friends

will return
from the big turkey kitchen

and we'll have a feast.

Hearing it out loud,
it does sound a little off.

A little off?

You know what?
We need to go downstairs

and find out what's going on.

Charlie, do you know any hard
Italian cow's milk cheeses?

Well, off the top of my head,
there's Parmesan, Romano,

Asiago, uh, Grana Padano,
there's...

Damn it, I picked
the wrong plus-one.

Well, we pulled it off.

For the first time in years,

our Thanksgiving finally had
a little excitement.

Can you believe they're still up
there cleaning my apartment?

And they're still expecting to
have a delicious dinner.

The very delicious dinner that
we're eating right now.

Oh, those peasants are going
to be as bitter

-as in-season radicchio.

Why play with one's food when
you can play with people?

-Huh?

I knew they were food snobs,

but these people
are sociopaths.

It's bad that I still find him
attractive, isn't it?

Uh-uh, I-I get it.

Are we ever gonna eat?

Did you see the bottle of wine
that woman brought?

There was a price tag on
the bottom. $17.99.

Why are they laughing?

Well, is it too high or too low?

Who would do something that
horrible on Thanksgiving?

Yeah, I bet you're feeling
pretty crappy

you ditched us for them, huh?

You know what? I am.

I abandoned my friends,
and for what?

Food that I never even
got to eat,

and the most sadistic game
of trivia I've ever played.

Yeah, well, at least you didn't
lose out to a freakin' dog.

I'm sorry we messed up
your Thanksgiving Day, guys.

No, the day's still young.

We're about to find out what
Thanksgiving is really about.

Yeah. Naps.

No, Charlie.

Friends. Together.

Exacting sweet revenge on those
douchebags who harmed 'em.

Who's with me?

We are.

-Here it is.
-Ah.

My famous pecan soufflé.

Maybe we should find another
couple of rubes

-and do this again next year.

Indeed. I haven't smiled
this much in a long time.

You know, we may not need
to find other rubes.

I'm not so sure we couldn't
do it again to these idiots.

Oh, you mean us idiots?

Yes, yes, I do.

Oh.

We're busted. Ooh.

Well, what are you going
to do about it?

We finished dinner and we're
almost done with dessert.

You're right, Francine.
You won.

You are so much smarter
than we are.

So much so that we would like

to play a little game of trivia
with you.

-What? Oh, well, very well.

-Shoot.
-All right.

See if you can name
all the ingredients

in that soufflé
that you're eating.

Well, that's easy.
Butter, eggs, pecans...

Ah, you forgot
the secret ingredients

we slipped in there
when y'all were having dinner.

Yeah, that's right.
The soufflé needed

some sort of glue
to hold it together.

The glue known as...
American cheese.

-Oh, no, no, no, no.

You can't be serious.

You all are eating
pure American cheese.

Zero percent dairy.

Murray? What's happening?

Am I poor now?

You bums.
You-you bums!

Oh, shut up, you Australian
son of a bitch.

Yeah, that's what you get
for messing

-with this crew, Murray.
-Yeah.

Oh, revenge is sweet.

Not as sweet as food, though.
We need to eat something.

Well, let's go to my apartment.
I'll whip up some casseroles.

Well, not an option.

We, uh, we trashed the place.

Well, what are we gonna do?

Oh, man, I was so hungry.

You know, I got to tell you,
Dudley,

I-I actually enjoy imagining
the players.

-It's nice, isn't it?
-It is.

Yeah. I-I'm sure glad
you all came over.

You really turned my day around.

Aw. This has been great.

I can't believe I thought
Thanksgiving with Murray

was gonna be better
than you guys.

Nothing's better than us,
Margaret.

You should know that by now.

Hey, happy Thanksgiving,
everybody.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Yeah, happy Thanksgiving.

Now can we please turn
this damn football off?

-Uh-oh.
-And rock and roll!
-Whoa.

Go, Sid.

Yeah, Sid!

That's pretty good.