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1
00:00:00,368 --> 00:00:01,902
Only on Fox.
2
00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:07,642
Ooh-wee.
3
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:10,044
Five more minutes
till the big grand prize raffle.
4
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:11,746
You got your ticket, Hank?
5
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,315
You know it.
I need that TV, baby.
6
00:00:14,349 --> 00:00:16,317
All I got is this
grainy-ass Zenith
7
00:00:16,351 --> 00:00:21,155
with a VHS copy
of 13 Going on 3 stuck inside.
8
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,724
Now, that's a hell of a movie,
but that is a bummer, man.
9
00:00:23,758 --> 00:00:26,761
-Uhp, got an e-mail.
10
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:29,264
-From my son.
-Oh!
11
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:31,031
Hope it's good news.
12
00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:34,602
The boy says, "Hey, Pop."
13
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:41,008
That's a really
good start, Hank.
14
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:44,111
"Just reaching out
to let you know
15
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:47,982
"that Mom is getting
remarried...
16
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,786
-...to Reggie."
-Oh, Hank.
17
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:55,956
I am so sorry. Who's Reggie?
18
00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:58,393
Well, remember when Hank's
ex-wife Lorraine cheated on him
19
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:00,194
with that great big
football player
20
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,596
who lived in his building?
21
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:02,797
:
That's Reggie.
22
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,399
:
That's right.
23
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,734
And-and Hank said he could
hear the sound of them
24
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,369
making love upstairs.
25
00:01:08,403 --> 00:01:09,770
Uh, what was it,
it was something like...
26
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,775
No, no, no.
27
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,170
Hank, are you sure you're okay?
28
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:46,341
Your ex-wife getting remarried
is a really big deal,
29
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:50,478
and your calmness
is kind of freaking us out.
30
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,614
No, I'm fine. In fact,
I was just about to write
31
00:01:53,648 --> 00:01:57,017
a reply e-mail to my son,
telling him how fine I feel.
32
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:01,088
"Dear son, I'm fine."
33
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,157
-Send. See?
34
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:06,527
You know, Hank,
you don't have to pretend.
35
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,763
I mean, I've been there.
When my cheating ex-husband
36
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,298
got remarried, boy, it sucked,
37
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:14,769
and I held onto the anger about
it for a long time. Too long.
38
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:18,005
Nah, I feel good. I mean,
really, really, really, really,
39
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,040
really, really, really, really,
really, really good.
40
00:02:20,074 --> 00:02:23,711
She's moved on and so have I.
That book is closed.
41
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,846
Are you sure?
Because your brain looks like
42
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,215
it's throbbing
through your scalp.
43
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:31,285
Well, that's because I'm excited
about the raffle.
44
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,288
You know, uh, the brain works
overtime during raffles.
45
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:37,057
Four out of five
raffle scientists agree.
46
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:41,562
You can't argue with four out
of five raffle scientists.
47
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:44,198
Good morning, everyone.
48
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:47,167
I need to get made up for my
stupid sister's stupid wedding,
49
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,170
so let's get through
this quick, capisce?
50
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:53,040
Boy, she knows how to make
an event fun, doesn't she?
51
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,842
All right, give me that TV.
52
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,911
Come on down to Hankytown.
53
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,979
Today's my lucky day!
54
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,315
Oh, God, I hope he wins this TV.
55
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,484
Well, what about us?
I could use a little high-def
56
00:03:03,518 --> 00:03:05,352
Bradley Cooper in my life.
57
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,221
No, no, no.
I have been in his shoes.
58
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,323
He needs this
a lot more than we do.
59
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,559
He seems to be taking it
just fine to me.
60
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,429
Please, please, please, please,
please, please, please.
61
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:16,230
And the winner
62
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,534
of this beautiful 65-inch TV set
63
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:23,704
is number 4-3...
64
00:03:23,738 --> 00:03:26,106
-5...
-623.
65
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:28,075
-6...
-Come on, come on!
Say it, Allison!
66
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,109
-623.
-2...
67
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:31,078
-623!
-629.
68
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,782
Yes!
69
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:38,318
All I do is win.
70
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,222
Ah, let me see,
which one of these is it?
71
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:46,026
What? This hater bought up
every ticket in the place.
72
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,228
He won by cheating.
73
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,431
It's not cheating, Hank.
74
00:03:50,465 --> 00:03:52,266
I just bought more tickets.
75
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,101
Look, to put it another way,
76
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:58,539
I won because I've got more
money than you.
77
00:03:58,573 --> 00:04:02,443
That's America, baby doll.
78
00:04:02,477 --> 00:04:06,046
Gorgeous George, I will slap
that mustache off your face
79
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,149
-and kick it down the hallway!
-Hold it, bud.
80
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:11,118
I can't restrain you
the way I used to.
81
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:14,321
Last week, I threw my back out
throwing my shoulder out.
82
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,256
Want us to deliver it
to your room?
83
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,994
Well, I've already got
more televisions
84
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,662
than I know what to do with.
85
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:26,233
Plus, all of them are so much
nicer than this one.
86
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,970
Then give it to me! Gimme,
gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!
87
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:33,808
Install it in my crapper.
88
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:37,244
I'll listen to my programs
as I shower.
89
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,414
You're gonna listen to a 4K TV?
90
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,817
That is a waste of K's!
91
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,284
Allison!
92
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:47,154
For once in your miserable life,
93
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:50,424
do something!
94
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,628
Guys, put the TV
in my office for now.
95
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,763
George,
we'll install it tomorrow.
96
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:56,964
Okay.
97
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,766
Here.
98
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,768
Here's five bucks.
99
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,237
Save up for a new TV.
100
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:09,109
Loser.
101
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,512
Oh, man, you didn't need that
102
00:05:11,546 --> 00:05:13,781
on top of everything
with your wife.
103
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,516
This isn't about my ex-wife.
104
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:18,519
This is about me and that TV.
We belong together.
105
00:05:18,553 --> 00:05:22,189
In sickness and in health,
for better or for worse.
106
00:05:24,859 --> 00:05:28,262
Till death do us part!
107
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:34,168
You guys, call me cuckoo,
108
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,804
but I'm starting to think
that this anger
109
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,206
may be about his ex-wife.
110
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,213
We need to do
something for Hank.
111
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:47,815
I haven't seen him this upset
112
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:52,019
since he found out that
RadioShack went out of business.
113
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:57,057
Yeah, we kept it from him
as long as we could.
114
00:05:57,091 --> 00:06:01,195
We all know what you're driving
at, Margaret, and I accept.
115
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:04,398
I'll talk to Hank and get him
to open up about his ex.
116
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:07,501
And I'll even do it for free.
117
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,370
Sid, there's no way in hell
that he is gonna open up to you.
118
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:13,040
: And why
would we pay you for it?
119
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:16,110
Because I'm the most sensitive
person in the group.
120
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,679
Are you stupid, Margaret?
121
00:06:18,713 --> 00:06:20,881
I'm a great listener.
122
00:06:20,915 --> 00:06:22,449
-Sid...
-Uh-uh-uh!
123
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:25,185
I'm not through yet, Margaret.
124
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:30,124
People say that empathy
is my superpower.
125
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,727
Who has said that to you?
126
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,795
Well, it's more like
a whisper on the wind,
127
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:37,598
rather than a specific person,
128
00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:40,100
but I will get Hank
to talk about Lorraine.
129
00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:42,036
Hank doesn't open up
about his feelings.
130
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,438
He's proud, he's insecure,
131
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:48,676
he's quiet, he's a man.
132
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,546
No, what Hank needs is a win.
133
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,114
Yep.
134
00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:56,116
What do you mean?
135
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:57,952
I know what Hank
is going through.
136
00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,920
When my cheating ex-husband
got remarried,
137
00:06:59,954 --> 00:07:02,890
I went to a very,
very dark place.
138
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,492
What, like, bingeing ice cream?
139
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:09,296
No, I put a pound of cocaine
in his honeymoon luggage.
140
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,735
We need to do something
to turn Hank's mood around.
141
00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:16,637
I think we should
make this Hank day.
142
00:07:16,671 --> 00:07:19,940
We'll do whatever he wants
to do, no matter how stupid.
143
00:07:19,974 --> 00:07:21,776
All right, everybody, listen up.
144
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:25,612
I decided what I'm gonna do
about this, uh, TV issue.
145
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,248
I want to steal the TV
out of Allison's office.
146
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,850
Now before y'all
shout me down...
147
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,585
-I think that's a great idea.
-Yay, Hank!
148
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,454
Y'all never listen to my ideas!
This is about justice.
149
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,256
-We're all on board, Hank.
-We're there.
150
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,659
-You are?
-Yeah.
151
00:07:38,693 --> 00:07:40,895
Well, cool.
Then let's go steal that TV.
152
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,707
All right, so let's get started
planning this heist,
153
00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:54,141
which I am calling
"Hank's Eleven."
154
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,710
-So...
-Uh, h-hold on.
155
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:58,145
Uh, Hank's Eleven?
There's only four of us.
156
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,514
Yeah, the movie was called
Ocean's Eleven
157
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,549
because there were 11 people.
158
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,119
No, because the heist took place
at 11:00 at night.
159
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,154
So, wait a minute,
by that logic,
160
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,825
then Ocean's Thirteen took place
at 13:00?
161
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:13,660
That's correct. Military time.
162
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:17,131
I think it's an excellent name
for a heist. We all do.
163
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:21,802
So here's how Hank's Eleven...
164
00:08:21,836 --> 00:08:23,637
is gonna go down:
165
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,007
so the TV is currently
in Allison's office, now...
166
00:08:27,041 --> 00:08:30,677
You know, Hank, if I may,
I am somewhat of a heist expert,
167
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,013
and I've taken the liberty
168
00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:36,483
to create this scale model
169
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,918
of Shady Meadows.
170
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,088
Wow.
171
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,690
When did you have time
to make this?
172
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:47,594
I'm 70. When didn't I have time
to make this?
173
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,163
Well, either way,
174
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,431
I think we're following
Hank's lead here, aren't we?
175
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:54,869
Or, or, or, or, or...
Hank could have a chat
176
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,671
with the most empathetic person
in the room.
177
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:02,109
Some people call me
Mr. Emotions Man.
178
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:07,214
Just drop it, Sid.
That book is closed.
179
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,216
We're stealing the TV.
That's it.
180
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,951
Okay, let's get back
to the plan now.
181
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,687
This gingerbread man,
which represents Hank,
182
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,690
will release laughing gas
in the vents...
183
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:20,527
Well, first of all,
I want to be a cooler cookie.
184
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,296
And where are we gonna
get laughing gas?
185
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,765
Well, my friend Mitch
is a dentist,
186
00:09:24,799 --> 00:09:26,934
or he was a dentist,
until he lost his license
187
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,303
for selling laughing gas.
188
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,471
I don't think we're
gonna need the laughing gas.
189
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:34,208
I think what Hank was
probably going to say
190
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,976
is that all we have to do
191
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,978
is wait until everybody
is asleep.
192
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:42,116
We will sneak into Allison's
office and we will take the TV.
193
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,084
Well, that's exactly
what I was gonna say.
194
00:09:44,118 --> 00:09:45,986
I would've thrown in a couple
more, uh, "Hank's Elevens"
195
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:48,222
up in there, but that's
basically the gist of it.
196
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,157
All right.
This is gonna be easy.
197
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,591
It's a retirement community.
198
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,061
All we have to do is stay awake
till 9:30.
199
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,595
-Whoa, now. Wait, wait a minute.
-No!
-No.
200
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,431
Oh, all right, 9:00.
201
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:06,306
All right, so what
we have to do is--
202
00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:07,774
back up, back up, back up!
203
00:10:09,143 --> 00:10:11,812
Why is she still
in her office at 9:00?
204
00:10:11,846 --> 00:10:13,613
Doesn't she get off work
at 6:00?
205
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:17,284
Oh, honey, she hasn't
gotten off in years.
206
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:20,754
Yeah, I guess the fatal flaw
of this whole plan is we forgot
207
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,490
that Allison
is a gigantic loser.
208
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:27,527
It's prom season, betches!
209
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:29,263
And if you want
the perfect smoky eye
210
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,867
to get you the perfect
smokin' guy...
211
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,601
Oh, this is pathetic.
212
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,203
The woman is 40 years old
213
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:39,239
and doesn't know
how to do a smoky eye?
214
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,177
Now all we have to do
is think of something
215
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,046
that'll get Allison
out of her office, fast.
216
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,548
Got it.
217
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:53,053
Allison, get out
of your office, fast.
218
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:55,122
Why? What?
219
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,357
Sid just passed out
all up in the sauna.
220
00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:59,626
All right, betches.
221
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,662
Now let's clean up
that bikini line.
222
00:11:20,214 --> 00:11:23,650
Help! Help! Woe is me!
223
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:27,587
Ah, boy, we're too late.
224
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:30,157
Rest in peace, tiny angel.
225
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,659
-Allison!
-Whoa!
226
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,429
Ah, what the heck? I just spoke.
227
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,764
Uh-oh. The door is locked.
228
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,566
-I'm-a go get help.
-No, wait, wait.
229
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:40,834
I'm still in here.
230
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,337
Good luck in there,
Mr. Emotions Man.
231
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,839
You can lock the door on me,
232
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,543
but you cannot lock the door
on your feelings!
233
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:54,581
I mean, this is all a total
and complete accident.
234
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:56,650
Nothing is afoot.
235
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,798
I still think that we all
should be wearing ski masks.
236
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:14,468
I mean, w-who does a heist
without a ski mask?
237
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,703
It's embarrassing.
238
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,639
This is not your heist.
We're doing this for Hank.
239
00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:22,642
Well, you know, the craziest
thing just happened.
240
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:25,879
Yeah, I just found out
that one of my ex-wives
241
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,781
is getting remarried--
oh, yeah...
242
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:29,883
I'm not buying it, Charlie.
243
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,819
-Please?
-No.
244
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:34,321
Mission accomplished.
245
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,991
Allison and Sid are locked up
in the sauna.
246
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:38,792
-Huh.
-Sid's okay with that?
247
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:42,896
Uh... uh-huh.
248
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,898
And this has nothing to do
with the fact that he wants you
249
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,900
to talk about your ex-wife?
250
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:50,470
Uh... uh-uh.
251
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,139
Okay. Well, all very believable.
252
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,873
It's your heist.
253
00:12:57,111 --> 00:12:59,079
-Crap. It's locked.
-Oh...
254
00:12:59,113 --> 00:13:02,016
Well, we're gonna
have to jimmy the lock.
255
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,417
Charlie, run down the hall
and be a lookout
256
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,085
while Margaret and I break in.
257
00:13:05,119 --> 00:13:07,954
: A lookout?
I'm the mastermind.
258
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,823
You don't ask the mastermind
be the lookout.
259
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:15,629
That's like asking the general
to be the... lookout.
260
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,832
-All right.
261
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,600
How are we gonna
jimmy this lock?
262
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:25,472
With the help of my old friend,
my RadioShack rewards card.
263
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,913
It won't budge. You try.
264
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:43,057
Help! Let us out!
265
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,492
Ooh, my fingers smell funny.
266
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:48,628
I think they're cooking
in the heat.
267
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:51,465
Should I eat them?
268
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,700
How long have we been in here?
269
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:56,503
Seven minutes.
270
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,542
Uh-- uh, what?
271
00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:03,977
Does my makeup look weird?
272
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,379
Oh, honey, you look like
somebody put Beetlejuice
273
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,514
in the microwave.
274
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,416
Oh, great. Beetlejuice.
275
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:12,652
That's the wedding look
I was going for. Beetlejuice.
276
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,588
"Hey, which bridesmaid
you want to hook up with?"
277
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:15,822
"The one that looks
like Beetle..."
278
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,857
Don't say it a third time!
279
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,394
Unless you want
a real problem on your hands.
280
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:25,999
Well, we're officially stuck.
281
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,534
I guess the one upside
is I might miss
282
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,204
my stupid, self-obsessed
sister's wedding.
283
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:33,907
Hmm, you know, Allison, I have
a skill that some people call
284
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:35,909
a superpower.
285
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:37,911
Don't let this freak you out,
but I'm sensing
286
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:41,715
you have some problems
with your sister.
287
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,718
Yeah, I just said that.
288
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,720
Look, the thing is,
289
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,388
my sister's always been
the star of the family,
290
00:14:48,422 --> 00:14:50,690
a-and I never get any attention.
291
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,459
Mm.
292
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,729
Yeah, so you were hoping that
maybe if you got married first,
293
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,764
you'd gain some ground
on your sister,
294
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,766
but, honey, that ship
is sailing fast,
295
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:03,036
and there's a brisk wind
behind it.
296
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,639
And I'm standing
all alone on the dock.
297
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,741
Looking like Beetlejuice.
298
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,910
Damn it, Allison!
You said it a third time!
299
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:14,181
Brace yourself. It's about
to get real crowded in here.
300
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:22,789
There she is.
There's my beautiful television.
301
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,725
Damn, girl, you sure look sexy.
302
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:30,830
Looks like Hank's Eleven has
fallen into place.
303
00:15:30,864 --> 00:15:33,467
I'm like a combination
of George Clooney, Brad Pitt
304
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,569
and Matt Damon
all rolled up into one.
305
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:38,071
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
306
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,275
You are a genius, Hank.
307
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:44,010
Wait a minute.
308
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:47,080
Did you just call me a genius?
309
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,082
-What the hell
is going on in here?
-Nothing.
310
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,585
I-I just think
you're killing it today.
311
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,153
Now, you've gone along
with every one of my ideas.
312
00:15:53,187 --> 00:15:55,555
You haven't called me
a moron once.
313
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,758
Wait a minute.
314
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,328
You're doing all of this
'cause you feeling bad for me?
315
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,962
This is a pity heist.
316
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,932
You really think I'm that upset
about my ex-wife?
317
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,336
-No?
-Look, I don't care
what Lorraine is doing
318
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,970
and I don't care
who she's doing it with,
319
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,173
and I don't care what her
mattress sounds like
320
00:16:13,207 --> 00:16:14,374
when they doing it.
321
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:15,542
And for the record,
322
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,811
it's...
323
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:30,857
Can we please just take the TV
and be done with it?
324
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,859
You know what?
I don't want that TV now.
325
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:35,362
You don't pity me, I pity you!
You take it.
326
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,731
-Fine, I will.
-The hell you will.
327
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:42,502
Get your hands off that.
That's my 65-inch TV set.
328
00:16:42,536 --> 00:16:44,371
You wouldn't even know
what to do with it.
329
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,673
I would watch it.
330
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,743
Well, you just have
an answer for everything.
331
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,211
I got gas.
332
00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:55,249
Charlie, tell me the truth.
333
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:56,916
Is this a pity heist?
334
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,652
Oh, absolutely not. No.
335
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,920
This heist is 'cause we all felt
really sorry for you
336
00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:03,056
and thought you might
need a win.
337
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:05,725
That's a textbook pity heist.
338
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:07,227
Well, whatever it is,
I got the laughing gas
339
00:17:07,261 --> 00:17:08,862
to cover our escape.
340
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,830
There is no one to escape from.
341
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,567
We do not need gas.
342
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,236
So no ski masks, no gas.
343
00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:18,071
This heist sucks.
344
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:20,173
-If you're so worried
345
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,775
about not being caught,
346
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,910
why don't you try making
a little bit less noise,
347
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,111
:
you dumbass.
348
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:27,080
Why am I... why am I laughing?
349
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,615
What is happening?
350
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:31,551
:
The nozzle came off.
351
00:17:31,585 --> 00:17:33,186
Oh...
352
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,923
I shouldn't have
knocked it over.
353
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,458
-Why does everything we do...
-Shh.
354
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:41,395
...always have to be
so damn stupid all the time?
355
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:46,366
: Like, like,
my marriage. It's stupid.
356
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,269
The truth is coming out.
Keep going.
357
00:17:49,303 --> 00:17:52,406
:
My-my soul mate cheated on me,
358
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,409
and-and she left a gaping hole
where my heart should be.
359
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:56,810
Yeah.
360
00:17:56,843 --> 00:18:00,947
And we thought we could
fill it with a TV.
361
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,749
Now the devil woman
wants to marry
362
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,319
the man she cheated on me with!
363
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:09,956
That kind of pain
doesn't go away!
364
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:13,627
I'm dead inside!
365
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:22,669
Damn, damn, damn!
366
00:18:32,346 --> 00:18:36,282
I can't believe you all thought
I needed this pity heist.
367
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,251
Yeah, but don't you feel better
now that you've said
368
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,854
all that stuff you were
holding deep inside?
369
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:44,458
No. It was just the gas.
And the gas has passed.
370
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:48,628
I'll bet Mr. Emotion Man
was excited to hear
371
00:18:48,662 --> 00:18:51,431
about your breakthrough when
you let him out of the sauna.
372
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:53,967
Uh, right.
373
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,137
"Let him out."
Um, I didn't do that.
374
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:05,311
How'd you guys
get out of the sauna?
375
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:08,448
We made it out when Mr. Randall
came in for his morning steam.
376
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,517
Completely naked, by the way.
377
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,653
Lowest testicles I've ever seen.
378
00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:15,321
Oh, I've seen lower.
379
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:19,058
Happy ending to Allison's story:
380
00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:22,796
we made some serious
breakthroughs about her sister.
381
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,698
Oh, that didn't happen.
382
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,166
You kept crying because you
thought Beetlejuice was coming,
383
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,835
and then you tried
to eat your fingers.
384
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,872
I was tasting them, Allison,
tasting.
385
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,676
And Hank.
386
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:40,480
I spent most of my time in the
sauna planning to murder you.
387
00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:42,882
Then I realized
I sweated off ten pounds
388
00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:45,419
and I'm gonna be the hottest
bridesmaid at that wedding.
389
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,921
Way hotter than my bitch sister.
390
00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:51,391
We've got some work
to do, still.
391
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,729
Uh, can one of you escort me
to the infirmary?
392
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:59,098
I haven't peed in 14 hours.
393
00:19:59,132 --> 00:20:00,767
I'll take you.
394
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,270
Don't worry about the pee.
It'll come.
395
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:07,707
I'm gonna go, uh, go help
Allison with her smoky eye.
396
00:20:07,741 --> 00:20:10,410
She, she really is pathetic,
isn't she?
397
00:20:10,444 --> 00:20:14,080
Yes, she is. And, uh, Margaret.
398
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,049
-Mm.
-One last thing.
399
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:17,684
What is it?
400
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,318
Thank you.
401
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:23,356
What exactly are you
thanking me for?
402
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:27,126
Don't push me, Margaret.
That's as far as I'm going.
403
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,596
All right, I'll take it.
404
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:33,066
I'll see you later, you moron.
405
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,644
It's movie night!
406
00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:49,716
Tonight's film
is 13 Going on 30.
407
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,719
Now, I chose this film
408
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,622
'cause it's an enchanting
romantic comedy
409
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:59,826
and plus, it's still stuck
in the VCR part
410
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,829
of my TV/VCR combo.
411
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:08,401
So imagine this:
when the day begins, you're 13.
412
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,404
But when the Moon comes up,
you're 30.
413
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:14,974
She can't even drive a car.
414
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:18,177
'Cause she looks 30
on the outside,
415
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:21,681
but on the inside,
416
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:24,017
she's 13.
417
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:28,488
Y'all a bunch of wusses.
418
00:21:28,522 --> 00:21:30,524
That's pretty good.
31085
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