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1
00:00:05,103 --> 00:00:08,275
Eddie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, aw.
2
00:00:08,310 --> 00:00:10,344
Ahh.
3
00:00:10,379 --> 00:00:11,862
Ahh.
4
00:00:11,896 --> 00:00:13,310
Unbelievable.
5
00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:15,103
I wouldn't have
believed it myself
6
00:00:15,137 --> 00:00:16,068
had I not watched
7
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,482
the whole thing
in the mirror.
8
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,827
[ Laughs ]
9
00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:21,344
If Jerry ever knew
I was having sex
10
00:00:21,379 --> 00:00:24,413
with Eddie Penisi,
he'd go psycho.
11
00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:27,068
Ooh, how psycho
are we talking?
12
00:00:27,103 --> 00:00:28,068
Does it turn you on?
13
00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:31,034
Yeah, a little bit.
14
00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:32,896
Okay, a lot.
15
00:00:32,931 --> 00:00:34,172
You think he'd be mad, huh?
16
00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:36,448
He would go into a rage
if he knew
17
00:00:36,482 --> 00:00:39,482
that you ravaged
his childhood sweetheart.
18
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:41,241
Go on, but talk slower.
19
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,379
[ Vehicle door closes ]
20
00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:43,482
Shit,
I think he's here.
21
00:00:43,517 --> 00:00:45,103
No, no, no.
Don't skip to the end.
22
00:00:45,137 --> 00:00:46,206
I want to savor this.
23
00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:47,482
I just heard his keys
in the door.
24
00:00:47,517 --> 00:00:48,655
Mmm, yeah.
That's good.
25
00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:49,724
The details are everything.[ Door closes ]
26
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:50,620
Jerry: Lola.
Huh?
27
00:00:50,655 --> 00:00:52,034
We need a dog.
28
00:00:52,068 --> 00:00:53,655
Holy shit.
He really is here.
29
00:00:53,689 --> 00:00:55,379
Under the bed.
30
00:00:55,413 --> 00:00:56,793
I thought you guys
were separated.
31
00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:57,896
We are.
32
00:00:57,931 --> 00:01:00,034
I just haven't changed
the locks.
33
00:01:00,068 --> 00:01:01,724
Lola, where are you?!
34
00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:07,068
Jerry, no.
35
00:01:07,103 --> 00:01:10,310
One more chance, baby.
Come on.
36
00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:12,379
I've learned my lesson.
From now on, Daddy Bear
37
00:01:12,413 --> 00:01:14,241
keeps his service
revolver in his holster,
38
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:18,827
and he also stops sleeping
with other women.
39
00:01:18,862 --> 00:01:20,827
You look great.
40
00:01:20,862 --> 00:01:21,931
Well, just
let me get dressed.
41
00:01:21,965 --> 00:01:25,517
I'll meet you
in the kitchen.
42
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:27,172
Okay.
43
00:01:30,896 --> 00:01:33,034
He calls himself Daddy Bear?
I thought I was a freak.
44
00:01:33,068 --> 00:01:34,413
How do I get you
out of here?
45
00:01:34,448 --> 00:01:36,172
I got this.
46
00:01:36,206 --> 00:01:37,655
Eddie,
you can't do that.
47
00:01:37,689 --> 00:01:39,000
We're three stories up.
48
00:01:39,034 --> 00:01:40,827
Eddie!
You're dynamite.
49
00:01:40,862 --> 00:01:42,793
No!
Whoo!
50
00:01:42,827 --> 00:01:44,655
-Yeah!
-Alright!
51
00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:46,068
-Good form.
-Rock 'n' roll, baby.
52
00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:48,862
-Look at him.
-Oh, wow.
53
00:01:48,896 --> 00:01:50,724
I am on a roll.
Thanks, guys.
54
00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:52,034
Hey, no problem, man.
55
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,517
We were right down the street
at Starbucks.
56
00:01:53,551 --> 00:01:55,034
Oh, did you get me
a grande macchiato
57
00:01:55,068 --> 00:01:56,241
and low-fat raspberry muffin?
58
00:01:56,275 --> 00:01:57,448
We sure did.
59
00:01:57,482 --> 00:01:58,931
You're lucky we were
in the neighborhood.
60
00:01:58,965 --> 00:02:00,413
I'm not lucky.
61
00:02:00,448 --> 00:02:01,689
I'm Eddie Penisi.
62
00:02:01,724 --> 00:02:04,896
-Hey.
-Son of a bitch.
63
00:02:04,931 --> 00:02:07,275
[ Foreigner's
"Hot Blooded" plays ]
64
00:02:07,310 --> 00:02:12,862
♪♪
65
00:02:12,896 --> 00:02:15,517
♪ Well, I'm hot blooded
66
00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:18,000
♪ Check it and see
67
00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:21,931
♪ I got a fever of 103
68
00:02:21,965 --> 00:02:25,586
♪ I'm hot blooded
69
00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:26,793
[ All cheering ]
70
00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:28,241
Linda: Thank you all so much
for joining us
71
00:02:28,275 --> 00:02:30,551
for this year's
Tacoma Police Department
72
00:02:30,586 --> 00:02:33,275
versus Fire Department
charity boxing match.
73
00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:36,034
-Yeah!
-Sorry, Chief.
74
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:39,000
Didn't mean to use the word
"match" in your presence.
75
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,241
Oh, it's okay.
76
00:02:40,275 --> 00:02:42,586
You used a different
meaning of the word, so...
77
00:02:44,586 --> 00:02:45,896
[ Chuckles nervously ]
So true.
78
00:02:45,931 --> 00:02:49,000
Well, I know the press
has a lot of questions, so...
79
00:02:49,034 --> 00:02:51,862
Yes, Ken Walthers,
"My Neighborhood App."
80
00:02:51,896 --> 00:02:55,517
Care to comment about
the missing dog on Maple Drive?
81
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,206
Okay, no one
from the real press?
82
00:02:57,241 --> 00:02:58,413
[ Clears throat ]
83
00:02:58,448 --> 00:03:00,137
Well, then I will announce
the matchups.
84
00:03:00,172 --> 00:03:01,344
Yeah!
85
00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:04,206
This year promises four
thrilling showdowns,
86
00:03:04,241 --> 00:03:08,241
TFD Engineer Ike Crystal will
take on Officer Leonard Tubbs,
87
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,517
and Officer Brad Shuck
will go toe-to-toe
88
00:03:10,551 --> 00:03:13,103
with Paramedic
Granville Smith.
89
00:03:13,137 --> 00:03:16,724
Officer Liz Salazar will
take on Lucy McConky,
90
00:03:16,758 --> 00:03:18,655
who is a collegiate
judo champ.
91
00:03:18,689 --> 00:03:20,275
I'd like to take a moment
to introduce
92
00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:22,413
a special young man
in the crowd,
93
00:03:22,448 --> 00:03:25,275
volunteer junior police
explorer Bucky Edelstein,
94
00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:27,275
who walks the German Shepherd
on weekends.
95
00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:28,896
Aw.
96
00:03:28,931 --> 00:03:33,137
Young Bucky will take on
TFD's very own Andy Myawani.
97
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:36,517
Now, who's ready
for some trash talk?
98
00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,586
[ All cheering ]
99
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:41,241
Captain Polonsky.
100
00:03:41,275 --> 00:03:45,724
[ Chanting "TPD" ]
101
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,068
[ Silence ]
102
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,827
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
103
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:52,137
We look forward
to showing Grit City...[ Yawning loudly ]
104
00:03:52,172 --> 00:03:55,655
...which department
has the most grit.
105
00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:58,448
-Boom!
-TPD!
106
00:03:58,482 --> 00:04:01,931
And as far as Tacoma FD
is concerned,
107
00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:05,758
well, you have the right
108
00:04:05,793 --> 00:04:08,103
to receive
a first-degree beatdown.
109
00:04:08,137 --> 00:04:11,068
-Oh!
-Oh!
110
00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:13,241
You have the right
111
00:04:13,275 --> 00:04:16,413
to have the bitch
slapped out of you.
112
00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:18,206
If you cannot stand up after,
113
00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:21,965
a stretcher will
be provided for you.
114
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,862
[ Laughter ]
115
00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:26,517
TPD out!
-TPD!
116
00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:28,862
[ Chanting "TPD" ]
117
00:04:31,068 --> 00:04:32,379
[ Silence ]
118
00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:33,586
Wow.
119
00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:37,344
Talk about your Miranda Wrongs.
120
00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:41,379
Okay, now let's get fired up
for Chief Terry McConky.
121
00:04:41,413 --> 00:04:42,827
-Yeah!
-Yes!
122
00:04:42,862 --> 00:04:43,827
Let's go, Chief!
123
00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:44,862
[ Chanting "Chief" ]
124
00:04:44,896 --> 00:04:46,448
No.
No.
125
00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:47,586
Tell them, Chief!
126
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,862
Yeah.
We're looking forward to this,
127
00:04:49,896 --> 00:04:54,586
and, uh, it's gonna be
a really big thing.
128
00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:57,344
Oh, sir.
Can you clear that doorway?
129
00:04:57,379 --> 00:04:59,482
That is an emergency egress.
130
00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:01,344
Thank you.
131
00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:02,724
Well,
that'll sell tickets.
132
00:05:02,758 --> 00:05:06,965
Let's all hear it for the Battle
Just Outside Seattle.
133
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,034
-Alright!
-Yeah!
134
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,862
Hey, probie, I got a ton
of grunt work for you to do.
135
00:05:15,896 --> 00:05:18,482
I got a bunch of unwrapped hose
in the garage.
136
00:05:18,517 --> 00:05:20,310
The equipment needs to be
stowed on the shelves,
137
00:05:20,344 --> 00:05:23,310
and the bathrooms need
a once-over, so come on.
138
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,655
That's a lot of grunting.Here.
139
00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:26,689
I got a probie do-list
for you to do, too.
140
00:05:26,724 --> 00:05:28,482
Start by sharpening the axes.
141
00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:30,241
Somebody used them to break
down a side of beef
142
00:05:30,275 --> 00:05:33,827
that somebody bought at
the butcher shop yesterday.
143
00:05:33,862 --> 00:05:36,344
[ Groans ]
Hey, Granny.
144
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,000
I got these test results
from my doctor,
145
00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:39,172
and it can't make heads
or tails of it.
146
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,758
Can you help me out here?
147
00:05:41,793 --> 00:05:44,379
Aha. This is why you've been
so sluggish lately.
148
00:05:44,413 --> 00:05:45,689
I don't think
I been that...
149
00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:53,000
[ Yawns loudly ]
150
00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:54,034
I don't think
I've been that sluggish.
151
00:05:54,068 --> 00:05:55,724
It says here
that you got low T.
152
00:05:55,758 --> 00:05:57,137
Low testosterone?Yeah.
153
00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:59,137
You got the levels
of a 13-year-old girl.
154
00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:00,620
Huh.
155
00:06:00,655 --> 00:06:02,172
That's why I've been
watching so much "Riverdale."
156
00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:03,482
I thought
it was the dark take
157
00:06:03,517 --> 00:06:05,034
on an otherwise
delightful comic book.
158
00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:07,000
Their Jughead doesn't
even wear the crown.
159
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,724
That part doesn't bother me.Yeah, no.
160
00:06:08,758 --> 00:06:10,724
Decline in testosterone
happens with age
161
00:06:10,758 --> 00:06:11,862
or unhealthy living.
162
00:06:11,896 --> 00:06:13,206
Huh.
What's the fix?
163
00:06:13,241 --> 00:06:14,413
Easy, just take some pills.
164
00:06:14,448 --> 00:06:16,965
You got Testy Boost XL
or Pharmasec.
165
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,103
Yeah, right.
166
00:06:18,137 --> 00:06:21,241
Side effects include dry mouth
and hairy knees.
167
00:06:21,275 --> 00:06:22,413
You know, I don't recommend
168
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:23,758
taking too many pills,
though, Chief.
169
00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:24,862
I take a fistful every morning,
170
00:06:24,896 --> 00:06:26,206
and I haven't
crapped right in years.
171
00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:28,034
I don't want
to jeopardize my craps.
172
00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:29,689
Those are my three
favorite times of the day.
173
00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,275
There are other ways,
though.
174
00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:34,034
In fact, there's a great article
in this month's "Chiseled AF,"
175
00:06:34,068 --> 00:06:36,551
"Natural Remedies
for Everyday Maladies."
176
00:06:36,586 --> 00:06:38,206
You know, can get your
testosterone levels up
177
00:06:38,241 --> 00:06:40,517
just by doing
more male-based activities.
178
00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:42,413
For instance, you could get
your T levels up
179
00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:43,724
just by eating more steak.
180
00:06:43,758 --> 00:06:44,931
Hmm.
I like steak.
181
00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,275
That's -- that's not
how it works.
182
00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:47,517
Let me ask you a question.
183
00:06:47,551 --> 00:06:48,965
You find yourself doing
an overwhelming amount
184
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,379
of female activities?
185
00:06:50,413 --> 00:06:51,827
I do.
I'm surrounded by women.
186
00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:53,275
I have a wife
and three daughters.
187
00:06:53,310 --> 00:06:54,896
They make me piss
sitting down.
188
00:06:54,931 --> 00:06:56,241
They made me buy a cat.
189
00:06:56,275 --> 00:06:57,586
They made me watch
"The Voice."
190
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,724
I do all those.
Unbelievable.
191
00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:03,034
-Eh.
-Oh.
192
00:07:03,068 --> 00:07:04,517
Ah, man.
That's pathetic.
193
00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:05,862
Way off!
Yikes.
194
00:07:05,896 --> 00:07:07,034
Help me out here, guys.
195
00:07:07,068 --> 00:07:08,827
For the sake of your health,
196
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,931
you need 200cc
of steak, stat.
197
00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:12,172
Eat steak.
198
00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:13,275
I can get onboard
with that.
199
00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:14,689
Sure, because you
never need to base
200
00:07:14,724 --> 00:07:16,275
your medical decisions
on science.
201
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,862
Right.
Science is for nerds.
202
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,620
I hate nerds.
203
00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:21,448
Carry on.
204
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:23,000
Hey, if it's like the middle
of the night, though,
205
00:07:23,034 --> 00:07:25,206
you guys
do sit down, right?
206
00:07:25,241 --> 00:07:26,862
What?
207
00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:28,551
[ Andy grunting ]
208
00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:30,448
This is gonna be our year.
I'm telling you.
209
00:07:30,482 --> 00:07:33,275
Ooh, ah!
210
00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:35,241
You guys know the best way
to train for a fight
211
00:07:35,275 --> 00:07:36,689
is lifting heavy crap.
212
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:37,931
You guys want in on this?
213
00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:39,620
Ha!
Try again, Tom Sawyer.
214
00:07:39,655 --> 00:07:42,137
You trying to trick us
into doing your grunt work.
215
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:44,551
I'm trying to give you guys
the competitive edge.
216
00:07:44,586 --> 00:07:46,068
You guys lost to the cops
last year.
217
00:07:46,103 --> 00:07:47,241
Didn't that suck?
Yeah.
218
00:07:47,275 --> 00:07:49,000
Yeah. That was
pretty shitty, I guess.
219
00:07:49,034 --> 00:07:50,758
This is the year
you get revenge.
220
00:07:50,793 --> 00:07:53,068
I mean, how did Rocky Balboa
beat Ivan Drago
221
00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:53,931
in "Rocky IV"?
222
00:07:53,965 --> 00:07:55,551
He was more American.
223
00:07:55,586 --> 00:07:58,724
Chopping wood, lifting rocks
in a barn, those were chores.
224
00:07:58,758 --> 00:08:00,482
Rocky was just doing
Mickey's chores.
225
00:08:00,517 --> 00:08:02,241
Mickey wasn't in "Rocky IV."
He was dead by then.
226
00:08:02,275 --> 00:08:04,275
Yeah, Lucy.
"You're a bum!"
227
00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:06,034
It's more like,
"You're a bum,
228
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,241
and you'll never
amount to nothing."
229
00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:09,689
He kind of sounds
more drunk like,
230
00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:11,206
"You're a bum, Lucy.
I found you in the Dumpster."
231
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,689
Eddie: Eh, no.
That sucks.
232
00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:14,724
It's more like this,
"You're a bum, I tells you."
233
00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:15,724
Terry: No.
Need more spittle.
234
00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:17,827
"You're a stinking bum,
Rocky.
235
00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:19,758
I'll never train
a stinking bum like you."
236
00:08:19,793 --> 00:08:21,413
-Oh. There it is.
-Yeah.
237
00:08:21,448 --> 00:08:23,310
One of you guys is a dead man.
238
00:08:23,344 --> 00:08:24,793
So dead.
239
00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:26,034
You guys ever enter a room
without storming in angrily?
240
00:08:26,068 --> 00:08:27,172
I want to know which one
of your guys
241
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,827
is sending dick pics
to my wife.
242
00:08:28,862 --> 00:08:30,758
Why do you think it was
one of my guys, Jerry?
243
00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:33,034
Because he's wearing
blue pants, Terry.
244
00:08:33,068 --> 00:08:34,862
That could be any uniform.Oh, really?
245
00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,551
Take a look.
What do you see?
246
00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:38,000
Hmm, a penis.
247
00:08:38,034 --> 00:08:39,379
Behind the penis.
248
00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:41,724
-Uh, scrotum.
-Behind the scrotum.
249
00:08:41,758 --> 00:08:43,206
How do you enlarge this thing?
250
00:08:43,241 --> 00:08:44,689
Right there.
Huh?
251
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,000
What do you see?
252
00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:48,965
That's a locker
with a Tacoma FD turnout.
253
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,034
I mean,
I still see scrotum.
254
00:08:50,068 --> 00:08:53,000
Trust me.
I know it's not Andy.
255
00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:54,896
Let me just narrow this down
for you, Jerry.
256
00:08:54,931 --> 00:08:56,586
The mystery member
belongs to me.
257
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,758
-You son of a bitch.
-No, no!
258
00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:58,793
I'll kill you!
259
00:08:58,827 --> 00:09:00,103
-Whoa!
-You cheated on her.
260
00:09:00,137 --> 00:09:02,724
I was just revenge,
a dish best served
261
00:09:02,758 --> 00:09:05,482
with a side of sausage
a la Penisi.
262
00:09:05,517 --> 00:09:07,482
-Hey!
-A la Penisi!
263
00:09:07,517 --> 00:09:08,482
A la Penisi!
264
00:09:08,517 --> 00:09:09,896
You know what?
265
00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,241
I'm not gonna kill you today.
266
00:09:11,275 --> 00:09:13,344
I'm gonna wait till
next week after my guys pummel
267
00:09:13,379 --> 00:09:14,896
your guys
at the boxing match
268
00:09:14,931 --> 00:09:18,586
because I challenge you
to the main event.
269
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:19,965
-Ooh!
-Alright.
270
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,965
I just crapped
in my underpants.
271
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,034
Good thing
I'm wearing yours.
272
00:09:25,068 --> 00:09:26,034
-Oh!
-Oh!
273
00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:28,068
-Oh!
-Oh!
274
00:09:28,103 --> 00:09:31,241
-Oh!
-Oh!
275
00:09:31,275 --> 00:09:35,034
Doo-doo-doo-doo-da-da!
276
00:09:35,068 --> 00:09:36,413
You know what?
277
00:09:36,448 --> 00:09:38,724
You're a dead man,
and I'm telling my guys
278
00:09:38,758 --> 00:09:40,379
anyone who knocks
their opponent out cold
279
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,551
gets a free lobster dinner.
280
00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:44,103
-Ooh!
-Ooh!
281
00:09:44,137 --> 00:09:45,448
We talking Red Lobster,
282
00:09:45,482 --> 00:09:47,655
or we talking tablecloths
and napkins
283
00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:50,862
and candles,
like, Il Lobsterino?
284
00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:52,758
Cloth, candles.
285
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,413
-Yeah.
-Sommelier.
286
00:09:54,448 --> 00:09:55,862
-Sommelier.
-Ooh!
287
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:59,172
Why would you want to go to
a Somalian lobster restaurant?
288
00:09:59,206 --> 00:10:01,862
-We'll see you next week.
-Ooh.
289
00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:03,655
Maybe a snifter of cognac,
capreses.
290
00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:04,551
Come on.
291
00:10:04,586 --> 00:10:06,931
Relax.
It's gonna be fine.
292
00:10:06,965 --> 00:10:08,310
I'm Eddie Penisi.
293
00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:09,413
♪ Eddie
294
00:10:09,448 --> 00:10:10,655
-Hey!
-Whoa!
295
00:10:10,689 --> 00:10:11,379
Man: Son of a bitch.
296
00:10:15,103 --> 00:10:16,724
[ Grunting ]
297
00:10:20,448 --> 00:10:21,620
Hmm, impressive.
298
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,068
Yeah.
299
00:10:23,103 --> 00:10:25,517
Now that this charity match
has turned into a blood sport,
300
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:26,758
I'm wondering
if we should take up
301
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,862
Judo Girl on her offer.
-Alrighty.
302
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,655
You really thinking
about doing her chores?
303
00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:33,275
What if she is like Mr. Miyagi
from "The Karate Kid,"
304
00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:34,724
and all the repetitive
movements
305
00:10:34,758 --> 00:10:36,413
turn into super-cool
martial-arts moves
306
00:10:36,448 --> 00:10:38,275
that we can apply
to the ring?
307
00:10:41,034 --> 00:10:42,827
Son of a bitch!
308
00:10:42,862 --> 00:10:44,965
-Ooh!
-Ooh-hoo-hoo!
309
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,551
Hey, it worked 3 times
in the '80s
310
00:10:46,586 --> 00:10:48,758
and one time for
Will Smith's son, so...
311
00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:49,758
Yeah.
Let's do this.
312
00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:51,689
Let's do it.
Hey, ma'am.
313
00:10:51,724 --> 00:10:53,896
You ever seen
"Robin Hood"?
314
00:10:53,931 --> 00:10:56,344
You know what I mean?
-Here you go.
315
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:57,448
Yeah.
What's this?
316
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,000
Chief has got low
testosterone, so...
317
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,379
Yeah, well,
no surprise there.
318
00:11:00,413 --> 00:11:02,448
Terry is a girl's name,
and he's only got one testicle.
319
00:11:02,482 --> 00:11:04,413
Hey, I lost that testicle
saving your life.
320
00:11:04,448 --> 00:11:05,793
So what?
321
00:11:05,827 --> 00:11:06,862
The lamb chops are supposed
to hike up your T levels?
322
00:11:06,896 --> 00:11:08,517
Yeah. Granny wants me
to take pills.
323
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:10,655
I figured first I'd try
the Ike Crystal Method.
324
00:11:10,689 --> 00:11:12,620
Yeah. I call it
the Crystal Meth for short.
325
00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:13,896
[ Laughs ]
326
00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:16,206
Crystal Meth?
Okay.
327
00:11:16,241 --> 00:11:17,137
What's with the crossbow?
328
00:11:17,172 --> 00:11:18,241
I'm going hunting
this weekend.
329
00:11:18,275 --> 00:11:19,620
-You don't hunt.
-He does now.
330
00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:21,413
-I do now.
-Oh, you know what?
331
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,517
This thing with you and little
Polonsky, knock it off.
332
00:11:23,551 --> 00:11:24,517
You're playing with fire.
333
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,068
And as we all know,
fire is bad.
334
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,275
What can I say, fellas?
335
00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:28,689
Like many first responders,
336
00:11:28,724 --> 00:11:31,172
I have developed
quite a thirst for danger.
337
00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:33,551
Well, drinking danger is not
good for anyone's digestion.
338
00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:34,655
Just point it that way.
339
00:11:34,689 --> 00:11:36,034
I don't think
you guys understand.
340
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:37,862
I am such a hot streak
right now.
341
00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:39,275
Everything
is coming up Eddie.
342
00:11:39,310 --> 00:11:41,310
Every time I go to the track,
I win big.
343
00:11:41,344 --> 00:11:43,793
Every time I turn on the radio,
it's Def Leppard.
344
00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:46,034
I can't lose.
-Well, thanks to you,
345
00:11:46,068 --> 00:11:48,103
all these guys have lobster
bounties on their heads.
346
00:11:48,137 --> 00:11:50,275
Well, I can't speak
for the other guys,
347
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,310
but I'm Eddie Penisi.
348
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,896
♪ Eddie
349
00:11:52,931 --> 00:11:54,689
Are you trying to turn your name
into a catch phrase?
350
00:11:54,724 --> 00:11:57,413
No, though it would look nice
on a bumper sticker.
351
00:11:57,448 --> 00:11:59,000
Break it off
with Lola Polonsky
352
00:11:59,034 --> 00:12:00,172
before your luck runs out.
353
00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:01,344
Whoa!
Oh, boy.
354
00:12:01,379 --> 00:12:03,241
-Oh-hoo-hoo!
-Whoa.
355
00:12:03,275 --> 00:12:04,724
Okay.
See that?
356
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,241
There was a time when that
would have nailed me
357
00:12:06,275 --> 00:12:08,862
right between the eyes,
but not these days
358
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,344
because these days
I'm crapping rabbits' feet.
359
00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:12,758
♪ Eddie
360
00:12:15,482 --> 00:12:16,551
Medium rare?
361
00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:18,448
Yeah.
I barely cooked them.
362
00:12:18,482 --> 00:12:20,103
I like medium well.
363
00:12:22,137 --> 00:12:23,862
Roll the hose.
Roll the hose.
364
00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:25,206
Roll the hose.
365
00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:28,551
I like to see you keeping it
tight, mopping the floors.
366
00:12:28,586 --> 00:12:30,448
Yep, full extension.
367
00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,551
Great work, Ike.
368
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,827
Clean the toilet bowl.
369
00:12:33,862 --> 00:12:35,965
Clean the toilet bowl, and...
Oh, man.
370
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,310
It's kind of hard to yell at you
when you're looking like that.
371
00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:40,931
I feel it
in my triceps, coach.
372
00:12:40,965 --> 00:12:42,827
You're killing it, Andy.
Keep it up.
373
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,551
Can you talk to me
about your influences?
374
00:12:45,586 --> 00:12:48,655
I think my fighting style
could best be described
375
00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:50,586
as the grace
of George Foreman
376
00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:54,275
with the intensity
of Jackie Chan.
377
00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:55,275
Son of a bitch.
378
00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:57,310
You really called the press?
379
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,034
Hey, I love this beat.
380
00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:01,413
I mean, usually I just
post pictures about people
381
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,034
I don't think belong
in the neighborhood.
382
00:13:03,068 --> 00:13:04,310
[ Cellphone dings ]
383
00:13:04,344 --> 00:13:07,586
Hello.
I have to go.
384
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,379
Uh, there's a missing package
on Mulberry Lane.
385
00:13:11,413 --> 00:13:13,655
That guy's the best.Sounds important.
386
00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:16,034
Cap, you should really
come train with us, you know?
387
00:13:16,068 --> 00:13:17,275
I don't know if you know this,
388
00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:19,068
but Polonsky is a Golden
Gloves champion.
389
00:13:19,103 --> 00:13:21,137
No need.
I got the psychological edge.
390
00:13:21,172 --> 00:13:22,724
I'm putting the stones
to his wife.
391
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,068
That does
a number on a guy.
392
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,172
Andy:
Check this out.
393
00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:27,379
Polonsky just tagged you
in a video, Cap.
394
00:13:27,413 --> 00:13:29,172
[ Grunting]
395
00:13:29,206 --> 00:13:32,172
Penisi, I am gonna bury you
396
00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:34,896
and then have a holiday party
on your grave!
397
00:13:34,931 --> 00:13:36,413
[ Laughing]
398
00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:41,206
-Wow. He's good.
-Fast, too.
399
00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:42,103
Lucy: You sure you don't
want to take this
400
00:13:42,137 --> 00:13:43,172
a little more seriously?
401
00:13:43,206 --> 00:13:46,034
You're right.
I got to step up my game.
402
00:13:46,068 --> 00:13:46,965
[ Grunts]
403
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,517
Ahh.
404
00:13:48,551 --> 00:13:49,586
Now I'm ready.
405
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,758
-Ah, not quite.
-Oh-ho-ho-ho.
406
00:13:51,793 --> 00:13:53,172
There you go.
Now you are.
407
00:13:53,206 --> 00:13:55,620
Smooth as the day your doctor
slapped that behind.
408
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:56,896
Thanks, Andy's mom.
409
00:13:56,931 --> 00:13:59,172
Always a pleasure having
you bronze and depilate me.
410
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,758
Everybody is talking
about the big fight
411
00:14:00,793 --> 00:14:02,103
on "My Neighborhood App."Mm-hmm.
412
00:14:02,137 --> 00:14:04,793
I got big Benjamins
riding on you, Captain Eddie.
413
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:07,068
Whatever you're betting,
double it.
414
00:14:07,103 --> 00:14:08,551
Polonsky is a monster.
415
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,241
Maybe you'd want to take
a supplement,
416
00:14:11,275 --> 00:14:14,551
maybe not FDA approved,
maybe?
417
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:16,551
No thanks.
I got this fight in the bag.
418
00:14:16,586 --> 00:14:18,896
Remember,
I'm Eddie Penisi.
419
00:14:18,931 --> 00:14:20,034
♪ Eddie
420
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,896
Alright. Nobody questions
you're Eddie Penisi,
421
00:14:21,931 --> 00:14:24,827
but in case you're not,
perhaps you'd be interested
422
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:29,655
in taking something
called whale haunch.
423
00:14:29,689 --> 00:14:30,965
Whale haunch?
Mm-hmm.
424
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,758
Strongest part
of the whale.
425
00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:33,931
King Konali Pakooli
426
00:14:33,965 --> 00:14:36,310
gave it to his warriors
before every battle.
427
00:14:36,344 --> 00:14:39,034
Gave them
untold strength.
428
00:14:39,068 --> 00:14:40,103
Hmm, I don't know.
429
00:14:40,137 --> 00:14:41,586
Aw, come on.
430
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:44,482
I need to get rid of this stuff
in case there's a raid, huh?
431
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,000
Okay, Andy's mom,
for you.
432
00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:47,413
Alright.
$22.95.
433
00:14:47,448 --> 00:14:48,586
I'll take two.
Good.
434
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:49,827
Yeah.
Yeah.
435
00:14:49,862 --> 00:14:51,586
Can I get you
anything else?
436
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:54,724
Perhaps you'd be interested
in a gremlin?
437
00:14:54,758 --> 00:14:56,172
You got a gremlin
in there?
438
00:14:56,206 --> 00:14:57,586
Careful.
She's in heat.
439
00:15:00,448 --> 00:15:02,310
Lucy: Well, I think that's it
for the training.
440
00:15:02,344 --> 00:15:04,379
You fellas are in great shape,
totally ready.
441
00:15:04,413 --> 00:15:06,172
Wait. That's it?
442
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,758
We're ready at the exact
same time
443
00:15:07,793 --> 00:15:09,241
that all your grunt work
is finished.
444
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:11,413
There isn't any hidden
Mr. Miyagi techniques
445
00:15:11,448 --> 00:15:12,758
to use in the ring?
446
00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,068
When you gonna show us
how it all comes together?
447
00:15:14,103 --> 00:15:15,827
That kind of shit
only happens in movies.
448
00:15:15,862 --> 00:15:18,172
What?!What? Are you kidding me?
449
00:15:18,206 --> 00:15:21,068
You guys are good boxers.
You'll be fine.
450
00:15:21,103 --> 00:15:22,758
We trusted you.
451
00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:24,413
Oh, Ike.
452
00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:30,517
[ Slow-motion ]
Whoa! Whoa!
453
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:36,620
Clean the toilet!
454
00:15:36,655 --> 00:15:37,896
Roll the hose!
455
00:15:37,931 --> 00:15:39,103
Clean the toilet!
Clean the toilet!
456
00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:40,586
Hey, Lucy.
Throw me a punch.
457
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:41,896
Ah!
458
00:15:41,931 --> 00:15:44,689
Throw me a punch!
Clean the toilet!
459
00:15:44,724 --> 00:15:47,137
There were hidden Miyagi
techniques in the grunt work.
460
00:15:47,172 --> 00:15:48,344
I guess there was.
461
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,862
We're gonna kick some ass.
Oh, yeah!
462
00:15:50,896 --> 00:15:52,965
Do me! Do me!
463
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:53,862
-Whoa!
-Oh, oh.
464
00:15:53,896 --> 00:15:54,758
You good?I wasn't ready.
465
00:15:54,793 --> 00:15:57,000
Yeah.
Go again.
466
00:15:57,034 --> 00:15:58,413
Yeah!
-Hey!
467
00:15:58,448 --> 00:16:00,103
We're gonna kill them.Hell yeah!
468
00:16:00,137 --> 00:16:01,655
[ Electric-guitar music
playing ]
469
00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:11,655
♪♪
470
00:16:11,689 --> 00:16:14,517
♪♪
471
00:16:14,551 --> 00:16:17,137
Hey, Vicky and girls!
What's up?!
472
00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:18,448
Okay.
Wow.
473
00:16:18,482 --> 00:16:19,965
What is this?Down here, right here.
474
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,137
Whoo!
This is where
the good stuff is.
475
00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:22,172
Is it?
Is it?
476
00:16:22,206 --> 00:16:23,379
This is where
the rock 'n' roll is.
477
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,137
Yeah,
but you don't play guitar.
478
00:16:25,172 --> 00:16:28,275
Oh, you're right.
I shred it.
479
00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:29,896
Wow.
That's painful.
480
00:16:29,931 --> 00:16:32,275
And you can hear it.Okay. Alright. Alright.
481
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:33,344
Let's bring it down.
Let's bring it down.
482
00:16:33,379 --> 00:16:34,758
Slash!
Let's bring it down,
okay?
483
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:35,758
You like Slash?
484
00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:37,482
No. I don't.
I really don't, baby.
485
00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:38,586
No.
486
00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:40,344
Anyway, you texted me
about the girls.
487
00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:41,413
Now you can't take them
488
00:16:41,448 --> 00:16:42,551
to the movies
with their friends?
489
00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:43,896
What's happening?
490
00:16:43,931 --> 00:16:45,517
I can't chaperone
10 little girls to the movies
491
00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:48,689
to watch some sort of female
a capella group solve crimes.
492
00:16:48,724 --> 00:16:49,862
It hurts my T levels.
493
00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:52,241
I read it
in "Chiseled AF" magazine.
494
00:16:52,275 --> 00:16:54,965
Partaking in female activities
is bad for my T.
495
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,413
So you want
to up your T levels?
496
00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:58,241
It's not complicated.
You just take a pill.
497
00:16:58,275 --> 00:16:59,931
I can easily
get you Shaftamax.
498
00:16:59,965 --> 00:17:01,655
I can get
you Nutchaspike.
499
00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:03,862
I get it.
You're all science-driven.
500
00:17:03,896 --> 00:17:06,103
I want to do things
the natural way.
501
00:17:06,137 --> 00:17:07,482
Okay.
502
00:17:07,517 --> 00:17:08,758
I guess you won't need these
sweet little cupcakes
503
00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:10,103
your daughters
made for you.
504
00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:12,241
They're pink and girly
and sprinkle-y and rainbow
505
00:17:12,275 --> 00:17:14,758
because you, you're
a manly son of a bitch.
506
00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:15,793
Come on, girls.Hold on a second.
507
00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:16,758
Come on.Now, wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
508
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:17,827
come on.
come on.
509
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,068
Oh, hey, sis. Hey, girls.
I'll take those.
510
00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:21,068
Yeah. No problem. Just don't
let the chief have any.
511
00:17:21,103 --> 00:17:22,172
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
512
00:17:22,206 --> 00:17:23,241
Hey, Chiefy.
513
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:25,448
I got something for you --
whale haunch.
514
00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:27,172
King Krakatoa used to give this
to his warriors
515
00:17:27,206 --> 00:17:29,000
before they ripped the heads
of their enemies
516
00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:30,896
with their bare hands.This will make me manly?
517
00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:32,724
That'll spike your T
right through your skull.
518
00:17:32,758 --> 00:17:34,034
I guess at this point,
anything helps, right?
519
00:17:34,068 --> 00:17:35,620
That's right.
Alright.
520
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:36,896
Yeah.
Bombs away.
521
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,724
Do it. Oh, yeah.
Chug it. Look at that.
522
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,206
You're becoming one
with the ocean.
523
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:42,034
Ouf.
Oh, yeah.
524
00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:44,034
Yeah!
That's manly.
525
00:17:44,068 --> 00:17:45,827
Whale haunch!
526
00:17:45,862 --> 00:17:47,448
Whoa!
Hey.
527
00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:49,724
This little guy survived
as my streak continues.
528
00:17:49,758 --> 00:17:51,034
Hey, hey.
529
00:17:51,068 --> 00:17:52,931
Good luck in that match
tomorrow, man, although I know
530
00:17:52,965 --> 00:17:55,103
you don't need it, right,
because you're Eddie...
531
00:17:55,137 --> 00:17:57,137
Penisi!
532
00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:03,413
Aaaah!
533
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:05,103
Aah!
534
00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:08,275
[ Growling ]
535
00:18:11,068 --> 00:18:14,068
[ Cheers and applause ]
536
00:18:14,103 --> 00:18:17,172
Ladies and gentlemen
of Tacoma,
537
00:18:17,206 --> 00:18:20,586
let's get prepared to pummel.
538
00:18:20,620 --> 00:18:23,551
[ Cheers and applause ]
539
00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:25,965
Alright, guys.
Remember, just go to the moves.
540
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:26,965
Mop the floor.
541
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,241
Scrub the toilet.
Roll the hose.
542
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,275
They are not gonna know
what hit them.
543
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,413
All: Yes, Sensei!
544
00:18:30,448 --> 00:18:32,689
[ Bell dings ]
545
00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:37,103
[ Crowd yelling indistinctly ]
546
00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:40,482
Lucy: Come on, Granny.
Roll the hose.
547
00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:42,241
Roll the hose.
Roll the hose.
548
00:18:42,275 --> 00:18:43,448
Roll the hose.
Yeah!
549
00:18:44,344 --> 00:18:45,862
Ouf!
550
00:18:45,896 --> 00:18:48,172
Oops.
551
00:18:48,206 --> 00:18:49,206
[ Bell dings ]
552
00:18:49,241 --> 00:18:51,241
Alright, Ike.
You got this.
553
00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:52,862
-Tubbs! Tubbs!
-Come on, buddy.
554
00:18:52,896 --> 00:18:54,206
Just like we practiced,
big guy.
555
00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:55,965
Mop the floor!
Mop the floor!
556
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:56,931
Oh! Oh!
557
00:18:56,965 --> 00:18:58,827
Oh! Oh!
558
00:18:58,862 --> 00:19:00,931
Okay.
559
00:19:04,413 --> 00:19:06,310
[ Laughs ]
560
00:19:06,344 --> 00:19:08,689
Oh!
561
00:19:08,724 --> 00:19:10,310
Let's do this, Pikachu.
562
00:19:10,344 --> 00:19:12,965
My head says no,
but my libido says yes.
563
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000
Doesn't
he have that thing
564
00:19:14,034 --> 00:19:14,965
where he likes
to get hit by her?
565
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,206
Yeah.
It's called a fetish.
566
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,827
Scrub the toilet!
Scrub the toilet!
567
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:22,586
I'm sorry, Andy.
568
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,379
Ah, don't worry about it.
569
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,965
Either way, I come out a winner.
570
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,034
You need help, man.
571
00:19:27,068 --> 00:19:29,137
[ Crowd yelling indistinctly ]
572
00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:36,379
Lucy: Come on, man.
Turn around and fight.
573
00:19:36,413 --> 00:19:38,965
Ugh!
574
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,448
It's hard to feel good
about that.
575
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,413
You don't need to do it.
576
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:44,448
Let me do it.You don't need to do it.
577
00:19:44,482 --> 00:19:45,586
Ow, ow, ow, ow, stop.
Stop. Stop.
578
00:19:45,620 --> 00:19:46,620
Okay. Okay. Okay.
579
00:19:46,655 --> 00:19:48,793
Hey, boys.
Check it out.
580
00:19:48,827 --> 00:19:50,137
Am I right?
Like a king.
581
00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:51,517
Dude, you look like Gandalf.
582
00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:53,206
It's a little long,
but check this out --
583
00:19:53,241 --> 00:19:54,241
rhinestones.
584
00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:56,344
-"Penisi Street."
-Too much?
585
00:19:56,379 --> 00:19:57,827
I paid extra.
-Worth every penny.
586
00:19:57,862 --> 00:19:59,206
You kidding me, Cap?
Looks great.
587
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,344
It's nice, right?
It pops.
588
00:20:00,379 --> 00:20:01,655
You know what?
Let's make dinner plans.
589
00:20:01,689 --> 00:20:03,379
This thing is gonna be
over in 10 minutes.
590
00:20:03,413 --> 00:20:04,896
Granny, lace them up.
-Okay.
591
00:20:04,931 --> 00:20:06,034
[ Cellphone rings ]
592
00:20:06,068 --> 00:20:07,103
Oh, hey, Ikey, will you read
that text to me?
593
00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:08,344
Sure, Cap.
594
00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,137
It's not so much a text
as it is a picture
595
00:20:10,172 --> 00:20:11,517
of the female genitalia.
596
00:20:11,551 --> 00:20:12,827
Nice.
Okay.
597
00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:14,034
Text back, "I likes it,"
598
00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:15,827
with the emoji
of your choice.
599
00:20:15,862 --> 00:20:18,206
You sure, Cap?
I mean, it's really graphic.
600
00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:19,413
I'm getting laced up.
601
00:20:19,448 --> 00:20:20,931
I'm about to save the honor
of the station.
602
00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:22,931
Do me a solid.
Text back.
603
00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:24,103
You choose the emoji.
604
00:20:24,137 --> 00:20:26,689
Of course. Alright.
Yeah. Sure.
605
00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:27,827
"I likes it."
606
00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:30,758
Yeah.
Pretzel emoji.
607
00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,517
Pretzel?
What,
you don't like pretzels?
608
00:20:32,551 --> 00:20:33,758
Hi, sweetie.
609
00:20:33,793 --> 00:20:35,344
I came to watch you
kick his ass.
610
00:20:35,379 --> 00:20:37,724
Hey, Lola.
How you doing?
611
00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,275
We were
just sexting you.
612
00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:41,758
You have a wonderful tramp stamp
by the way.
613
00:20:41,793 --> 00:20:43,241
I don't have
a tramp stamp.
614
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:46,068
That'll be all, Ike.Is that you?
615
00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:47,103
[ Gasps ]
You've been cheating on me?
616
00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:49,068
Did we establish
exclusivity?
617
00:20:49,103 --> 00:20:50,379
You asshole.
618
00:20:50,413 --> 00:20:52,206
Oh! Oh! Oh!
619
00:20:52,241 --> 00:20:53,482
Wow!
620
00:20:53,517 --> 00:20:55,689
I'll rip your head off
your scrawny little body.
621
00:20:55,724 --> 00:20:57,379
Okay.
Okay.
622
00:20:57,413 --> 00:20:58,551
Sleep with one eye open,
you prick.
623
00:20:58,586 --> 00:20:59,862
-Get her out of here.
-I'm gonna get you.
624
00:20:59,896 --> 00:21:00,827
Okay.
Take it easy.
625
00:21:00,862 --> 00:21:02,000
What the hell
happened in here?
626
00:21:02,034 --> 00:21:04,241
Oh, my ankle.
627
00:21:04,275 --> 00:21:05,275
Ahh.
628
00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:07,000
Your last name has
penis in it.
629
00:21:07,034 --> 00:21:08,896
Anyone else notice that?
630
00:21:08,931 --> 00:21:10,275
Oh, yeah.
This ankle is broken.
631
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,068
I'm gonna have to pull him
from the fight.
632
00:21:12,103 --> 00:21:13,896
I guess it's Polonsky's
lucky day.
633
00:21:13,931 --> 00:21:15,448
-Oh, it's his lucky day?
-Somebody go tell him.
634
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:17,103
He just got a reprieve
from the governor.
635
00:21:17,137 --> 00:21:19,068
He's faking.
Pussy!
636
00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:20,793
Well, he's still
gonna kick your ass.
637
00:21:20,827 --> 00:21:22,034
In, like, 6 to 8 weeks.
638
00:21:22,068 --> 00:21:24,310
Yeah. Yeah. You hear that?
Mark your calendar.
639
00:21:24,344 --> 00:21:27,379
Oh, you're having your sister
do your fighting for you now.
640
00:21:27,413 --> 00:21:29,551
Oh! Don't talk about
my wife like that.
641
00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:31,034
I'll fight you myself,
you assclown.
642
00:21:31,068 --> 00:21:32,310
Bring it on, fat boy.
643
00:21:32,344 --> 00:21:34,034
I don't care who it is
at this point.
644
00:21:34,068 --> 00:21:35,344
Let's do this, ginger.
645
00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:38,965
Ginger?!
Oh! It's on!
646
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,172
Terry,
you sure about this?
647
00:21:40,206 --> 00:21:41,655
Yeah.
I'm sure about this.
648
00:21:41,689 --> 00:21:44,000
Ah!
649
00:21:44,034 --> 00:21:46,241
Uh, what in God's name
is that?
650
00:21:46,275 --> 00:21:47,310
You'll see.
651
00:21:47,344 --> 00:21:49,172
Mm!
652
00:21:49,206 --> 00:21:51,551
Whale haunch,
makes a man strong.
653
00:21:51,586 --> 00:21:52,793
Chief, you haven't
even trained.
654
00:21:52,827 --> 00:21:54,689
I don't need to train
because tonight,
655
00:21:54,724 --> 00:21:56,655
I'm Eddie Penisi.
-♪ Eddie
656
00:21:56,689 --> 00:21:58,448
-Hey!
-Hey!
657
00:21:58,482 --> 00:22:01,931
And now for the main event,
658
00:22:01,965 --> 00:22:05,000
followed by the raffle
for the leaf blower,
659
00:22:05,034 --> 00:22:10,068
in this corner, weighing 190,
the Jabrona from Tacoma,
660
00:22:10,103 --> 00:22:13,172
Police Captain Jerry Polonsky!
661
00:22:13,206 --> 00:22:14,620
-Yeah!
-Boo!
662
00:22:14,655 --> 00:22:17,068
And in this corner,
weighing...
663
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:19,413
195!
664
00:22:19,448 --> 00:22:20,482
Sure.
665
00:22:20,517 --> 00:22:22,137
Fire Chief Terry McConky.
666
00:22:22,172 --> 00:22:23,793
-Whoo!
-Go, Terry!
667
00:22:23,827 --> 00:22:25,517
-Come on!
-Yeah!
668
00:22:25,551 --> 00:22:26,586
[ Growls ]
669
00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:28,827
-Yeah, there he is.
-Yes!
670
00:22:28,862 --> 00:22:30,206
-You up for this, Chief?
-Yeah.
671
00:22:30,241 --> 00:22:31,793
I've been taking
whale haunch.
672
00:22:31,827 --> 00:22:32,862
Where'd you get that
from?
673
00:22:32,896 --> 00:22:34,137
Eddie gave it to me.
674
00:22:34,172 --> 00:22:35,827
-Where'd you get that from?
-From your mom.
675
00:22:35,862 --> 00:22:37,551
Oh, that stuff
is bullshit.
676
00:22:37,586 --> 00:22:39,793
It's just coconut water
and vanilla extract.
677
00:22:39,827 --> 00:22:42,586
She tell you a whole story
about King Kalapanaki?
678
00:22:42,620 --> 00:22:43,689
Yeah.
It's a great story.
679
00:22:43,724 --> 00:22:45,206
No.
It's all fake.
680
00:22:45,241 --> 00:22:47,517
God, she makes so much money
preying off white people's
681
00:22:47,551 --> 00:22:49,655
condescending beliefs
in third-world cultures.
682
00:22:49,689 --> 00:22:52,172
Shrewd. She is so full
of ancient-island wisdom.
683
00:22:52,206 --> 00:22:53,448
She try to sell you
a gremlin?
684
00:22:53,482 --> 00:22:54,482
She sold me a gremlin.
685
00:22:54,517 --> 00:22:55,862
No.
It's a flying squirrel.
686
00:22:55,896 --> 00:22:57,310
So wait.
It's not real?
687
00:22:57,344 --> 00:22:58,344
Mnh-mnh.
688
00:22:58,379 --> 00:22:59,379
Oh, shit.
689
00:22:59,413 --> 00:23:00,413
[ Bell dings ]
690
00:23:00,448 --> 00:23:01,827
[ Screaming ]
691
00:23:01,862 --> 00:23:04,275
[ Groaning ]
692
00:23:04,310 --> 00:23:05,241
[ Bell dinging ]
693
00:23:05,275 --> 00:23:07,413
[ Screaming and groaning
continue ]
694
00:23:10,965 --> 00:23:13,000
[ Andy groaning ]
695
00:23:15,275 --> 00:23:17,241
Ahh.
696
00:23:20,793 --> 00:23:25,034
[ Groaning ]
697
00:23:25,068 --> 00:23:26,344
What'd the doctor say?
698
00:23:26,379 --> 00:23:27,724
He said I have contusions,
699
00:23:27,758 --> 00:23:30,000
lacerations and a little bit
of brain damage.
700
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:32,758
He says I'm lucky
I still know how to breathe.
701
00:23:32,793 --> 00:23:35,448
Oh, but that beating did
somehow raise my T levels,
702
00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:38,275
so, Granny,
I did it the natural way.
703
00:23:38,310 --> 00:23:40,413
Hey.You're an inspiration.
704
00:23:40,448 --> 00:23:42,551
[ Bell dings ]Whoo!
705
00:23:42,586 --> 00:23:44,034
What an unforgettable night,
huh, guys?
706
00:23:44,068 --> 00:23:45,482
Terry: Oh, yeah.
Let me guess.
707
00:23:45,517 --> 00:23:47,482
On the way to the hospital,
you boned the ambulance driver.
708
00:23:47,517 --> 00:23:48,793
Close.
709
00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:50,448
You got to the hospital,
and you boned the E.R. doctor.
710
00:23:50,482 --> 00:23:51,793
No.
I made sweet love
711
00:23:51,827 --> 00:23:53,965
to the lady
that rented me this scooter.
712
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,241
Son of a bitch.
713
00:23:55,275 --> 00:23:56,379
And after the lovemaking,
714
00:23:56,413 --> 00:23:58,241
I found a buffalo nickel
in the parking lot.
715
00:23:58,275 --> 00:23:59,620
How do you do it,
huh, Cap?
716
00:23:59,655 --> 00:24:01,413
How does everything keep
coming up roses for you?
717
00:24:01,448 --> 00:24:03,793
It's easy, my friend.
I'm Eddie Penisi.
718
00:24:03,827 --> 00:24:05,034
♪ Eddie
719
00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:06,482
Okay. That's it.
720
00:24:06,517 --> 00:24:07,862
What are you doing?
721
00:24:07,896 --> 00:24:09,793
You need a little humble pie,
and I'm the guy to feed you.
722
00:24:09,827 --> 00:24:12,034
Are you threatening me?
Do you know who I am?
723
00:24:12,068 --> 00:24:13,172
I know who you are.
724
00:24:13,206 --> 00:24:15,068
You're a guy
whose luck just ran out.
725
00:24:15,103 --> 00:24:16,344
Come at me.
726
00:24:16,379 --> 00:24:17,896
My fist, your face,
727
00:24:17,931 --> 00:24:20,689
a match made in heaven.Ding, ding.
728
00:24:20,724 --> 00:24:22,448
[ Bell dings ]
729
00:24:22,482 --> 00:24:26,034
♪♪
730
00:24:26,068 --> 00:24:29,620
♪♪
50636
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