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00:00:00,067 --> 00:00:01,800
ps ]
2
00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:07,306
♪♪
3
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,475
Is it a heart attack?
No, he's got a pulse.
He's good.
4
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,809
What the hell
happened here?
5
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:13,278
Oh, all right! Good morning.
There it is.
6
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,780
Is that a flashlight
on his dong?
7
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,415
He put his penis
where the batteries go?
8
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:20,352
Is's not a flashlight.
It's a fleshlight.
9
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,888
A sex toy.
10
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:25,324
Breezy Canyon model.
11
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:26,492
-Breezy Canyon the porn star.
-Wait,
12
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,660
there's a replica
of her vagina in there?
13
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,496
Yes. The celebrity
makes the mold,
14
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,231
they put it
in the fleshlight,
15
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,499
and that fella
mates with it.
16
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:34,833
Wait, but what happened,
Cap?
17
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:35,968
The fleshlight
knock him out,
18
00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:37,569
or did something happen
afterwards?
19
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:38,937
And what's this all
on the walls?
20
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:47,179
♪♪
21
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,714
It's elementary, really.
22
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,749
It's dulce de leche.
23
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,085
You boil a can of condensed
milk, it turns into caramel.
24
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,387
Our friend here turned on the
stove, put the can in the water,
25
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:58,190
and he downed a cafe
boost-a-mente double espresso
26
00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,892
to activate
the Ambi-snooze sex
27
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,560
he was about to throw into
Breezy Canyon.
28
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,594
What kind of sex?
29
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,696
You take Ambi-snooze
then caffeine,
30
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,833
then you fight through the
loginess for a monster orgasm.
31
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,902
Check his pockets.
-Whoa!
32
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:12,037
Most likely he miscalculated
the Ambi-snooze
33
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,839
to caffeine ratio,
and when it came time
34
00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:16,241
to get cozy with Miss Breezy,
it was lights out.
35
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,743
When the water
on the stove evaporated,
36
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,044
the can kept cooking,
37
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:23,482
and then pow, splattered caramel
all over the walls.
38
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:24,683
Oh, don't eat that.
39
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,485
Mmm. So sweet.
40
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:30,122
He should be waking up
in three, two, one.
41
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,457
All: Whoa!
42
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:33,125
Hey, Cap,
what the hell?!
43
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,227
Man, you got mad
deductive skills, Cap.
44
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,261
Eh, what are you gonna do?
45
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,729
-Hey, sir, you okay?
-No judgment.
46
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:38,931
Get you unstuck,
all right?
47
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:41,300
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, come here! Don't...
48
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:43,669
Weird.
49
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:44,536
Prepare yourselves.
50
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:47,706
It's a full moon out tonight.
51
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,441
Shit's about to get sticky.
52
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,844
[ Foreigner's
"Hot Blooded" plays ]
53
00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:59,785
♪♪
54
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,454
♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪
55
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,923
♪ Check it and see ♪
56
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:08,861
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
57
00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:10,963
♪ I'm hot blooded ♪
58
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,465
♪♪
59
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,733
All right, all right,
all right.
60
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,134
Happy full moon, everybody.
61
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,236
Hope you're ready
for a fun night
62
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,705
with the maniacal,
deranged, and disturbed.
63
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,874
Chief, it's a super
blue blood moon.
64
00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:23,242
-What's that?
-Well, a blue moon
65
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:24,843
is the second
full moon in a month,
66
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,746
and a blood moon is a lunar
eclipse with a dark-red hue.
67
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,215
And a supermoon
is a full moon
68
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:32,718
with the moon's
closest orbit to Earth.
69
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,786
We got our own Neil Grassy Tyson
in the house.
70
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,722
Why?
'Cause I'm black?
71
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,624
It's just the only
scientist I know.
72
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,559
-Neil Armstrong, by the way.
-Oh.
73
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,694
Now, you see, the last time
that this super blue blood moon
74
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:46,665
hit was 1888, and that night,
Jack the Ripper struck.
75
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,066
Hmm.
76
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,402
Van Gogh cut off his ear,
and the Johnstown Flood
77
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:54,306
wiped out the entire town
of Johnstown, Pennsylvania.
78
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,308
So look the...out.
79
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,744
This full moon thing
is bullshit.
Oh, is it?
80
00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:00,946
It's always triple the calls
and they're all weird.
81
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:03,315
So tonight I've called
in reinforcements.
82
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,783
We're being joined
by Gene Ghoulib.
83
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:08,353
All: Ghooooooooul!
84
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,555
Ghoul.
85
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:10,889
I take it he's good?
86
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,125
He's a volunteer so he's free,
and he's a great guy.
87
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,494
Okay, stay safe tonight,
everybody.
88
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,496
[ Bell rings ]
89
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:21,967
♪♪
90
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,335
Hey, how are ya?
91
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,038
Volunteer firefighter Gene
Ghoulib reporting for duty.
92
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,105
You can call me Ghoul.
93
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,274
Okay. Ghoul.
And you must Lucy.
94
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,643
Congratulations on being
the first woman at the station.
95
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,912
Where are the fellas?
They're back there.
96
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,948
Yeah, you know,
just paving the way.
97
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:38,283
Well, actually, it was Jeanette
Woldseth who paved the way.
98
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:40,385
She was the first full-time
female firefighter
99
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,020
in Washington State
history.
100
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:45,324
Hired in 1977,
retired a captain in 2002.
101
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,558
What do you think
of that?
102
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,859
[ Chuckles ]
Well, aren't you woke AF?
103
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,127
Terry: There he is!
Ghouly!
104
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,696
How are ya, Chief?
105
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:51,964
Honored to be here.
Good to have you.
106
00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:54,900
-Ghoul!
-Hey!
107
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,134
How are ya, Captain?
108
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,970
Paramedic Smith,
good to see you guys.
109
00:03:57,972 --> 00:03:59,404
You ready for some
full moon fever?
110
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,505
Ready as we'll ever be.
111
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,641
Which I'm guessing
is very ready.
112
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,344
[ Laughs hoarsely ]
113
00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:11,149
[ Laugh continues ]
114
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,784
[ Alarm blaring ]
115
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,387
Man: Rescue 42 -- 643, West Fuller.
116
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,688
Wheels up, Granny.
Let's go have some fun.
117
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,090
-Let's do it.
-Take it easy, Ghouly.
118
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,392
Can I join?
No, they got it, they got it.
Stay here.
119
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,594
Hey, don't worry, there'll
be plenty to do tonight.
120
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,930
Full moon, probie.
[ Alarm blaring ]
121
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,666
Engine 24 -- Kudlow Park, open burn.
122
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,836
Both: Ghooooul!
[ Laughs ]
123
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,505
City's saved now, buddy!
Ghouly!
124
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,241
Yeah! [ Laughs ]
Ow!
125
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:38,844
Hey, guys, remember, all open
burns must have a permit
126
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,979
in accordance with state
and federal regulations.
127
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,848
-You know it, Ghoul!
-You got it, Ghoul!
128
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:45,183
Lucy, no.
You stay with Ghoul.
129
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,585
Full moon fever!
130
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,220
The super blue
blood moon.
131
00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:50,155
A blue moon is the second
full moon of the month.
132
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,923
And a blood moon, well,
that's just a lunar eclipse
133
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,492
with a slightly burnt
sienna hue.
134
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,827
You guys are all starting to
sound like astrologers
135
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,195
or something.
Astronomers.
136
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,930
Oh, yeah.
Or astrologers.
137
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,967
Hmm.
At least we know
what's in our future.
138
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,903
[ Laughs hoarsely ]
Wow.
139
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:08,507
Oh, I hate full-moon
nights, man.
140
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,342
What? Full-moon nights
are the best.
141
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,977
Second only
to The Purge.
142
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,146
You get the dumbest calls.
You know what?
143
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,614
You realize
nights like tonight,
144
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:17,315
the stupid people are
what keep you in business.
145
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,650
Well,
just keep an open mind.
146
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,485
Yes, people make stupid
mistakes,
147
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,054
but then we get
to help them.
148
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:23,622
That should
make you feel good.
149
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:24,589
Thanks, Dr. Phil.
150
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,725
Oh, you're welcome,
Granville.
151
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,493
And the key to maintaining
a healthy relationship
152
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,661
is communication.
153
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,697
Ah, I see.
And never
stop fornicating.
154
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,899
[ Laughs ]
155
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:34,966
[ Knocking ]
156
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,935
Oh, thank goodness
you're here.
157
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:39,504
Hey! Anchorman
from "Tacoma Today."
158
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,373
Good evening,
I'm Chet Chisolm.
159
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,275
Come in, please, gentlemen.
Quickly, quickly.
160
00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:44,943
Come in.
161
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,446
I did something.
162
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:50,682
And, well, uh...
163
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,017
It got stuck.
164
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,819
[ Sighs ] Oh, God.
Whoa!
Wow, okay, okay.
165
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,120
All right, okay.
166
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,855
Is that...
My wedding ring.
167
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,757
Yeah, you must really love
your wife.
168
00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,925
Thinking about her
right now, huh?
169
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,460
I can't get it off.
170
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,862
Can you help me?
Help.
171
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:07,766
♪♪
172
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,401
Ah.
173
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:10,869
Creepy.
Right?
174
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,004
I don't see this open fire
anywhere.
175
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,241
This full-moon stuff
freaks me out, man.
176
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:19,578
It wasn't too long ago that a
girl was killed in these woods.
177
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,679
Please don't do that.
178
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:22,881
In fact, I don't even think
it was a girl.
179
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,383
It was two firefighters
just like us.
180
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,819
And they haven't found
the killer.
181
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,955
Can you not?
Just stop.
182
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,456
Oh.
Just don't, Andy.
183
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,191
[ Growling ]
I asked you not to do it.
Just stop it, okay?
184
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,894
You think I'm a child?
You're not gonna scare me.
185
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,662
[ Thud ]
186
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,666
What was that?
187
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:42,768
I don't know.
I-I, uh...
188
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,269
What's going on?
Something hit the truck.
189
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,271
Can you get out and check,
please?
No, you check it out.
190
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,740
Andy, I'm driving.
I can't get out of the vehicle.
191
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,308
Can you get out
and check it out?
I'm riding, I'm riding.
192
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,877
Why, are you scared?
No.
193
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:52,978
[ Both scream ]
194
00:06:53,964 --> 00:06:55,197
[ Telephone ringing ]
195
00:06:55,199 --> 00:06:57,933
Station 24 -- this is
Firefighter McConky.
196
00:06:57,935 --> 00:07:01,036
Yeah, it's always the fourth
Thursday in November.
197
00:07:01,038 --> 00:07:04,339
Yeah, you betcha.
Have a nice evening.
198
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,842
Who calls a fire station to
find out when Thanksgiving is?
199
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:07,843
You know,
I got to tell you,
200
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:09,578
your phone etiquette
is top notch.
201
00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:11,780
Yeah, thanks.
I guess it's part of the job.
202
00:07:11,782 --> 00:07:14,249
Not really a job when you love
what you do, right?
203
00:07:14,251 --> 00:07:16,384
It's technically not a job
when you're a volunteer.
204
00:07:16,386 --> 00:07:18,453
Oh. [ Laughs ]
205
00:07:18,455 --> 00:07:20,989
Yeah. Good one.
Now we're having a good time.
206
00:07:20,991 --> 00:07:22,524
You seem a little upset.
What gives?
207
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:24,626
Okay, I'm the rookie.
I get it.
208
00:07:24,628 --> 00:07:26,561
But I just thought this whole
full-moon night
209
00:07:26,563 --> 00:07:28,130
would've brought me
a little more action.
210
00:07:28,132 --> 00:07:30,632
Let me tell you something
about firemen.
211
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:35,137
On any given night, any given
day, they're always firemen.
212
00:07:35,139 --> 00:07:36,538
Did you just
come up with that?
213
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:39,074
"Backdraft," 1991.
214
00:07:39,076 --> 00:07:40,375
You know, Kurt Russell,
Robert De Niro,
215
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,010
Rebecca De Mornay,
Billy Baldwin,
216
00:07:42,012 --> 00:07:43,645
Jennifer Jason Leigh,
Donald Sutherland.
217
00:07:43,647 --> 00:07:45,080
It's a Ron Howard joint.
218
00:07:45,082 --> 00:07:46,414
I've seen it 211 times.
219
00:07:46,416 --> 00:07:47,616
It's a masterpiece.
220
00:07:47,618 --> 00:07:49,351
I can recite the entire thing
front to back.
221
00:07:49,353 --> 00:07:50,552
No, I've never seen it.
222
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:52,854
Ho-ho, there she goes.
That's a good one.
223
00:07:52,856 --> 00:07:54,356
Yeah, no,
I've never seen it.
224
00:07:54,358 --> 00:07:55,891
You're serious.
You've never seen "Backdraft."
225
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:57,058
Seriously.
226
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,827
You've never seen "Backdr--"
Okay.
227
00:07:58,829 --> 00:08:00,162
Well, good thing
I have it on my phone.
228
00:08:00,164 --> 00:08:02,364
Let's take a little break
and watch that movie.
229
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:04,399
Oh, hey, Chief,
I want to preface this
230
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,667
by saying
I would never complain
231
00:08:05,669 --> 00:08:07,369
because I'm the rookie
and your daughter,
232
00:08:07,371 --> 00:08:09,004
but, um, I thought
you said tonight
233
00:08:09,006 --> 00:08:10,739
was gonna be crazy
for all of us.
234
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,140
Yeah, it will be.
But hold on.
235
00:08:12,142 --> 00:08:14,910
And look, I do want this to
sound more sarcastic than whiny,
236
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,945
but I'm still mopping floors.
237
00:08:16,947 --> 00:08:18,346
All right, well,
it sounds whiny,
238
00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:20,182
but that's what probies do,
Lucy, okay?
239
00:08:20,184 --> 00:08:22,450
Trust me, I've been doing this
a long time.
240
00:08:22,452 --> 00:08:23,818
Just be ready.
241
00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:25,820
-Ghoul!
-[ Chuckles ]
242
00:08:25,822 --> 00:08:27,956
[ As Robert De Niro ] "Fire.
It's a living thing, Brian.
243
00:08:27,958 --> 00:08:30,025
It breathes, it eats,
and it hates.
244
00:08:30,027 --> 00:08:31,893
The only way to beat it
is to think like it.
245
00:08:31,895 --> 00:08:34,763
Eh."
[ Chuckles ]
246
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:35,997
[ Normal voice ]
It's Robert De Niro.
247
00:08:35,999 --> 00:08:37,199
That was a very good impression,
by the way.
248
00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:38,200
"Backdraft,"
he's in the --
249
00:08:38,202 --> 00:08:40,202
Is that
one of the actors?
250
00:08:40,204 --> 00:08:44,172
♪♪
251
00:08:44,174 --> 00:08:46,708
So...
how'd it happen?
252
00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:48,276
Details are sketchy.
253
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,711
News at 11:00?
No, no, no.
254
00:08:49,713 --> 00:08:51,780
I'm embarrassed to say.
Allow me.
255
00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:53,114
[ Exhales sharply ]
256
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:57,452
♪♪
257
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,020
You got takeout
because your wife's away.
258
00:08:59,022 --> 00:09:00,222
You got out of the shower
and you were
259
00:09:00,224 --> 00:09:01,656
at the computer
twirling your wedding ring,
260
00:09:01,658 --> 00:09:03,491
spinning it around
on different things --
261
00:09:03,493 --> 00:09:05,360
pen, pretzel rod,
letter opener --
262
00:09:05,362 --> 00:09:07,829
and that's when you said
to yourself, "Hmm.
263
00:09:07,831 --> 00:09:09,264
I wonder if this fits."
264
00:09:09,266 --> 00:09:11,866
And you slipped the ring
onto your penis.
265
00:09:11,868 --> 00:09:14,135
But that's when you glanced over
at your computer
266
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:17,105
and you saw that picture
of Katie Couric.
267
00:09:17,107 --> 00:09:18,406
Katie Couric's so hot.
268
00:09:18,408 --> 00:09:19,708
Mm-hmm.
No, I get it, believe me.
269
00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:21,376
I'm a Diane Sawyer guy,
but I get it.
270
00:09:21,378 --> 00:09:23,011
But that is when
you became erect,
271
00:09:23,013 --> 00:09:24,779
the blood got trapped
north of the ring,
272
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:27,349
the ring got stuck,
and boom, here we are.
273
00:09:27,351 --> 00:09:29,351
That is
investigative prowess.
274
00:09:29,353 --> 00:09:31,253
-Whoa, Cap.
-I think it's the full moon.
275
00:09:31,255 --> 00:09:34,222
I probably should've gone
to the ER, but I --
276
00:09:34,224 --> 00:09:35,624
I'm marginally famous.
277
00:09:35,626 --> 00:09:37,959
So, the question is do we cut
off the ring or the penis?
278
00:09:37,961 --> 00:09:40,228
The ring!
The ri-- ring.
279
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:42,764
All right.
Got the perfect thing for that.
280
00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:43,898
Yeah.
No, no, no.
281
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,600
-That's aggressive.
-I got the thing.
282
00:09:45,602 --> 00:09:47,502
This guy.
Oh, wow,
that's for trees.
283
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,537
-You know what -- blowtorch.
-Granny, come on.
284
00:09:49,539 --> 00:09:51,373
His genitalia will
definitely feel the sting.
285
00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,808
Yes, genitalia will feel it.
[ Ring clatters ]
286
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,745
-Hey-o!
-Hey!
287
00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:59,180
Chet, I apologize about
the little back and forth.
288
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,016
We just wanted to take
your mind off of things.
289
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,350
Thank you, gentlemen.
Thank you.
290
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,220
Thank you both.
That -- Goodnight and good luck.
291
00:10:05,222 --> 00:10:06,655
Whoa, there it was.
Do it again.
292
00:10:06,657 --> 00:10:08,056
Goodnight and good luck.
293
00:10:08,058 --> 00:10:10,225
-Ooh.
-[ Chuckles ] Every time, right?
294
00:10:10,227 --> 00:10:11,526
-Goodnight and good luck.
-I love it.
295
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,861
Look,
it has an inscription.
296
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,162
No, no, I'm good,
I'm good.
297
00:10:14,164 --> 00:10:18,066
[ Cheering ]
298
00:10:21,638 --> 00:10:24,306
Ah, see?
This is weird, man.
299
00:10:24,308 --> 00:10:26,374
This is weird.
300
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,842
Excuse me.
301
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,878
Tacoma Fire Department.
We're gonna...
302
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:30,979
Stop stepping
on my hose!
303
00:10:30,981 --> 00:10:32,714
Who the hell
are these people, man?
304
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,683
Is it truly necessary
to extinguish
305
00:10:34,685 --> 00:10:36,885
the lunar flame of Quietus?
306
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:37,852
Are you in charge of the --
307
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,321
the scary dancing
and stuff here?
308
00:10:39,323 --> 00:10:40,989
That is correct.
309
00:10:40,991 --> 00:10:42,691
I am Tothar.
-Okay.
310
00:10:42,693 --> 00:10:44,392
Uh, all right, Tolthar.
311
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,829
Um, so you can't have
an open flame out here, pal.
312
00:10:47,831 --> 00:10:49,397
But this is
the sacrificial night.
313
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,999
We need all four elements
314
00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:54,969
to properly honor
the super blue blood moon.
315
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,438
Well, we're gonna
have to take away
316
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,505
the element of fire,
317
00:10:57,507 --> 00:10:58,773
but we'll leave you
with some water.
318
00:10:58,775 --> 00:11:00,575
Dude, are you serious?
319
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,177
Yeah.
Water?
320
00:11:02,179 --> 00:11:03,945
Yeah.
We need all four elements.
I just said that.
321
00:11:03,947 --> 00:11:04,846
-Sorry, man.
-Yeah.
322
00:11:04,848 --> 00:11:06,014
You know,
just doing our job.
323
00:11:06,016 --> 00:11:08,149
We're not jumping in the fire,
guys, come on.
324
00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:09,718
-Aah!
-How you doing, ma'am?
325
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,253
-Aah!
-Hey, hey, hey!
326
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,655
What the hell, man?!
327
00:11:13,657 --> 00:11:15,924
Why are your friends
biting?
328
00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:18,460
Aah!
329
00:11:18,462 --> 00:11:20,729
This kills, man.
330
00:11:20,731 --> 00:11:21,996
That's why we wear
our gloves, buddy.
331
00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:23,198
[ Chuckles mockingly ]
Really?
332
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,333
She broke the skin,
but it doesn't seem too bad,
333
00:11:25,335 --> 00:11:26,301
so don't worry.
334
00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:28,136
Honestly, man,
back in my day,
335
00:11:28,138 --> 00:11:30,138
it was just flapjacks
and finger banging.
336
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,273
Now it's lunar sacrifice
and biting.
337
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,441
[ Chuckles ]
338
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:34,642
Why would she bite me?
339
00:11:34,644 --> 00:11:36,378
♪♪
340
00:11:36,380 --> 00:11:37,946
I was a medic
in the US Army.
341
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:39,114
You telling me
helping people
342
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,882
doesn't interest you
at all anymore?
343
00:11:40,884 --> 00:11:43,251
This man is stuck
inside a thermos.
344
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:49,391
♪♪
345
00:11:49,393 --> 00:11:50,859
Yeah, you're right.
346
00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:52,193
It's stuck on there tight.
347
00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:53,428
What's in the thermos?
348
00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:55,397
I mean, my dick.
349
00:11:55,399 --> 00:11:56,765
Thought that, but...
350
00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:58,199
Uh, and some
pretty good soup.
351
00:11:58,201 --> 00:12:00,301
Okay, I'm gonna tell you
how this happened.
352
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:01,736
This is good.
Watch this.
353
00:12:01,738 --> 00:12:06,441
♪♪
354
00:12:06,443 --> 00:12:08,410
You liked the soup so much,
you...it.
355
00:12:08,412 --> 00:12:09,677
He gets me.
356
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:11,312
Whoa, man,
I've had good soup before,
357
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,480
but never enough
to...it.
358
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:13,982
No, no,
this isn't good soup.
359
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,683
This is great soup.
360
00:12:15,685 --> 00:12:18,153
Minestrone --
champagne of soup.
361
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:20,021
Here's the thing, though --
362
00:12:20,023 --> 00:12:22,524
Uh, my dick's starting to hurt,
and I got to take a piss.
363
00:12:22,526 --> 00:12:23,992
You know, that might be
our best bet.
364
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,493
-What?
-Urinate.
365
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,561
In my dinner?
366
00:12:26,563 --> 00:12:28,062
Dude, it's still warm.
367
00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:29,764
You're not still planning
on eating that, are you?
368
00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:31,433
Well, yeah.
Waste not, want not, right?
369
00:12:31,435 --> 00:12:33,067
You know what?
That's admirable, but, uh,
370
00:12:33,069 --> 00:12:35,003
I'm gonna need you
to relax and go
371
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,971
in one...two --
372
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,240
You know, counting
is actually not helping.
373
00:12:39,242 --> 00:12:40,208
...three.
374
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:41,376
[ Tinkling ]
Oh, that helped.
375
00:12:41,378 --> 00:12:42,310
Ohh.
376
00:12:42,312 --> 00:12:43,878
Simple physics,
really.
377
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,147
The space inside the thermos
is finite.
378
00:12:46,149 --> 00:12:47,849
And when you add matter
to that space...
379
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:48,983
[ Thermos pops ]
Oh!
380
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,219
[ Clatters ]
381
00:12:51,221 --> 00:12:53,021
Oh, man, that worked!
382
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:55,023
You guys are awesome!
383
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,157
Uh, one thing.
384
00:12:56,159 --> 00:12:58,726
I still got a soda can
in my ass, though.
385
00:12:58,728 --> 00:13:00,061
What are we gonna do
about that one?
386
00:13:00,063 --> 00:13:01,463
Dude.
387
00:13:01,465 --> 00:13:03,331
I'm going to the truck.
388
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:05,400
♪♪
389
00:13:05,402 --> 00:13:15,443
[ Phone ringing ]
390
00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:19,981
Station 24.
391
00:13:19,983 --> 00:13:22,217
Is it a beep or a chirp?
392
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,652
Yeah, well,
that's your battery.
393
00:13:24,654 --> 00:13:26,321
Oh, uh,
you can get batteries
394
00:13:26,323 --> 00:13:28,423
at any hardware store
or grocery store.
395
00:13:28,425 --> 00:13:29,958
Or any store, really.
396
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,093
All right, you, too.
Have a nice evening.
397
00:13:33,129 --> 00:13:34,262
[ Sighs ]
398
00:13:34,264 --> 00:13:36,397
Wow, guys.
399
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,733
It is really crazy
in here.
400
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,134
Well, not really.
401
00:13:40,136 --> 00:13:42,337
Just making some of my
famous five-alarm chili.
402
00:13:42,339 --> 00:13:43,771
Are you sure
that's a good idea?
403
00:13:43,773 --> 00:13:46,241
We could get called into action
at any moment.
404
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,842
Do I detect
a hint of sarcasm?
405
00:13:47,844 --> 00:13:49,611
Not from me.
406
00:13:49,613 --> 00:13:51,312
Is that where
that stuff belongs?
407
00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:53,147
[ Groans ]
408
00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:58,620
♪♪
409
00:13:58,622 --> 00:14:00,388
Four-letter word
for English coin.
410
00:14:00,390 --> 00:14:01,389
Ghoul?
411
00:14:01,391 --> 00:14:02,957
Yen.
412
00:14:02,959 --> 00:14:04,359
No, didn't fit.
413
00:14:04,361 --> 00:14:06,194
Nickel.
414
00:14:06,196 --> 00:14:07,729
No. No, not nickel.
415
00:14:07,731 --> 00:14:08,630
Shilling?
416
00:14:08,632 --> 00:14:10,365
Oh, yeah, shilling.
Good.
417
00:14:10,367 --> 00:14:12,433
Did you get
the GPS working?
418
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,335
Uh, no.
There's no signal.
419
00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:15,737
It's, uh --
420
00:14:15,739 --> 00:14:18,706
I guess the full moon,
it's the gravitational pull.
421
00:14:18,708 --> 00:14:20,408
The gravitational pull
of what?
422
00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:22,110
The Internet?
[ Laughs ]
423
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,211
Blech!
424
00:14:23,213 --> 00:14:25,146
Oh, man.
[ Chuckles ]
425
00:14:25,148 --> 00:14:26,147
I feel like crap.
426
00:14:26,149 --> 00:14:27,815
Ah, did you eat the pork
for dinner?
427
00:14:27,817 --> 00:14:29,951
I'm so sweaty.
[ Chuckles nervously ]
428
00:14:32,022 --> 00:14:33,988
I think it's this bite.
429
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:35,623
No, no, no. I cleaned it,
and then Granny
430
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,292
will take a look at it
when we get back.
431
00:14:39,396 --> 00:14:41,262
Maybe it's the moon.
432
00:14:41,264 --> 00:14:42,764
What?
433
00:14:42,766 --> 00:14:45,800
Ohh, no.
434
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,369
You don't think
that girl was...
435
00:14:48,371 --> 00:14:49,671
like, a werewolf,
do you?
436
00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:51,239
[ Laughs ]
437
00:14:51,241 --> 00:14:52,440
What if she's a werewolf,
Andy?
438
00:14:52,442 --> 00:14:54,175
No way, man.
I tell you,
439
00:14:54,177 --> 00:14:57,946
I can --
I can hear everything.
440
00:14:57,948 --> 00:15:01,449
It's like my senses
are heightened, you know?
441
00:15:01,451 --> 00:15:03,117
I can hear the animals.
[ Wolf howling ]
442
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,919
I can hear
their little heartbeats.
443
00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:08,089
[ Sniffs ]
444
00:15:08,091 --> 00:15:10,458
Come on, man, let's...
Aah!
445
00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:12,527
Andy, I think she was
a werewolf, man!
446
00:15:12,529 --> 00:15:13,595
All right, cut it out, Ike.
447
00:15:13,597 --> 00:15:17,398
Check my teeth.
Are -- Are they growing?
448
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,233
Andy, look!
Look at my teeth!
Cut it out.
449
00:15:19,235 --> 00:15:20,168
Come on, man.
450
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,836
Andy, look at my teeth!
Cut it out!
451
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:22,904
I said cut it out!
452
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,757
So help me God, Cap,
if this is one more dick,
453
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:26,791
I'm gonna lose it.
454
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,593
Come on,
don't be re-dick-ulous.
455
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:30,962
Tacoma FD.
456
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,930
Man: Door's open!
457
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,066
Just go, yeah.
458
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,301
Oh, man,
it smells good in here.
459
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,069
Hey, full moon or not,
there's more to our jobs
460
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,871
than just getting
guys' dongs unstuck from --
461
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:41,205
Oh, come on.
Oh, come on!
462
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,775
I know, right?
I mean, this is crazy.
463
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,677
I feel exactly the same way
you gentlemen feel,
464
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:47,011
believe me.
465
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:49,180
Sir, your junk better not be
inside of that toaster.
466
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,249
That's okay 'cause
I unplugged it already.
467
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:54,786
Mmm-mmm!
468
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,187
You know,
Captain Stanky Stankiewicz
469
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,622
gave me
this chili recipe.
470
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,190
He said, "Make it hot.
471
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,059
That's how firefighters
live life!"
472
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:02,260
Sounds like "Backdraft."
473
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,428
You know what, it does.
474
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,495
Mmm.
475
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,198
[ Speaking Russian ]
476
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,367
Hey there, ma'am.
Can we help you?
477
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:14,105
[ Speaking Russian ]
478
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,674
I-I'm sorry, I don't --
I don't speak, uh...
479
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,943
I think she wants us to put
that car seat in her car.
480
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,378
Oh, we -- we --
we can't do that.
481
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,612
It's a liability issue.
482
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:22,880
You should know that,
by the way.
483
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,449
Nyet. Nyet?
484
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:25,550
Nyet.
485
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:30,822
[ Speaking Russian ]
486
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,623
Nyet, baby seat.
Nyet, nyet.
487
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,760
[ Speaking Russian ]
488
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:36,627
What's going on?
489
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,130
[ Speaking Russian ]
490
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,765
She wants us to install
a car seat.
491
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,434
[ Speaking loudly
in Russian ]
492
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,669
We don't do that.
493
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,037
[ Speaking loudly
in Russian ]
494
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,672
Liability issue!
495
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:48,873
[ Speaking loudly
in Russian ]
496
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,342
May I suggest
the police station?
497
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,345
[ Speaking loudly
in Russian ]
498
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,247
Come on, what's the big deal?
It's just a car seat.
499
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,715
We're not
doing anything today.
500
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,517
Fine.
Where's your car, ma'am?
501
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,585
Honda.
502
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,687
Honda, okay, great.
503
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,155
I'll help.
504
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,323
Not necessary.
505
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,925
Please let me
do something.
506
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:08,893
Okay, come on.
507
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,862
[ Speaking Russian ]
508
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,597
Here we are, ma'am.
Why don't you have a seat?
509
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,932
Here you go.
510
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,435
You know what?
How about some chili?
511
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:20,104
Here we go.
Mm-hmm.
512
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,506
Just like
the old country.
513
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:22,940
Ooh.
[ Speaking Russian ]
514
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,175
Yes.
[ Speaking Russian ]
515
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:26,177
Both: One, two...
516
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:27,178
Three!
[ Grunts ]
517
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:30,948
[ Both grunting ]
518
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,049
Man: [ Groaning ]
519
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,317
Ohh!
520
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:34,952
I think it's caught
in the coils.
521
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,854
No shit.
Okay.
One, two, three!
522
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,257
[ High-pitched scream ]
523
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,591
Ohh! Ohh! God!
524
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,693
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
525
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,228
Yeah, anytime.
526
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,066
Nice crumbshot.
[ Chuckles ]
527
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,368
Lock the door.
528
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:54,705
Oh, my hands
are stretching!
529
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,407
You know, like when
the Werewolf's hands stretch
530
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,476
right in front of his face
in that movie?!
531
00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,811
It was a movie.
532
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:01,679
Yeah, that's what's happening
to me right now.
533
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,147
Right now, Andy!
534
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:05,750
[ Groans ]
And I am ravenous!
535
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,018
[ Laughs ]
536
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,153
And you know I never use
three-syllable words.
537
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,421
Just chill out.
Just chill out.
538
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,191
Okay.
539
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,826
No offense, Andy,
540
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:17,929
but you look delicious
right now.
541
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,630
Do I look juicy?
542
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:20,765
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
543
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,500
Marbleized?
[ Chuckles ]
544
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,635
♪♪
545
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:25,636
[ Exhales sharply ]
546
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,971
[ Inhales deeply ]
547
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,139
[ Exhales sharply ]
548
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:32,877
♪♪
549
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,045
[ Groans ]
550
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,980
[ Heart beating,
suspenseful music continues ]
551
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:36,914
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
552
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,016
You smell so good.
553
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,017
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
554
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:42,820
I'm definitely a wolf.
555
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,655
We have to go back
and find that girl
556
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,224
so I can find out
what's happening to me.
557
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,558
We don't need to find her.
558
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,194
If we don't go back
and find that girl,
559
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:51,395
I'm gonna eat you!
560
00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:54,065
Okay, okay, okay,
we'll find her!
561
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,132
We'll find her!
562
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,701
Do you want me
to drive?!
563
00:18:58,071 --> 00:18:59,237
It's easy.
564
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:00,371
You just find the clasps
and you hook them in.
565
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,305
There's nothing easy
about that.
566
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,740
Breathe in and out
of your face.
567
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,709
-[ Woman breathing shallowly ]
-I don't know what happened!
568
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,210
-Holy shit!
-Oh, my God.
569
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:08,646
One minute she was enjoying
my delicious chili,
570
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:09,947
and the next,
her water broke.
571
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,316
You fed your five-alarm chili
to a pregnant woman?
572
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,551
Hey,
it's really good chili.
573
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:15,753
Ohh!
Oh, no, my chili!
574
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,222
[ Woman screams ]
All right, here we go,
here we go, here we go.
575
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,491
Lucy: Take deep breaths,
deep breaths.
576
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,293
Just push.
577
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,694
Ghoul, put that fire out.
578
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:24,629
Should we call
an ambulance?
579
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,630
No, no,
I can see the head.
580
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,631
This baby's coming.
581
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:27,632
We're gonna deliver it.
582
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,033
♪♪
583
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,701
Dispatch:
Rescue 42 -- Summit Park.
584
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:33,404
Male missing an appendage.
585
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,374
Rescue 42 en route.
586
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,942
You like my French accent?
587
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:40,411
Super blue blood moon!
588
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:41,913
[ Groans ]
Man, just take me home.
589
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:42,947
Just take me home.
590
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,215
Oh, come on,
it's a missing appendage.
591
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,249
It's not gonna be
another dick.
592
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:46,951
No,
it's gonna be a dick.
593
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,119
The night we're having,
594
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:49,787
we're gonna walk right
into a damn peen-ectomy.
595
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:52,990
How you doing, friend?
596
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,225
I lost my toe.
597
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,193
[ Laughs ] Yes.
598
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,328
Yes, it's a toe.
599
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,796
It's a toe, dude.
600
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,932
I'm glad somebody happy
about it.
601
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,667
Granny, not cool.
602
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,802
Sorry. I --
603
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:05,903
How'd it happen?
604
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,505
I got it caught
in my bicycle spokes.
605
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,706
Didn't your mama
ever tell you
606
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,041
not to ride your bike
without your shoes on?
607
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,609
I like my sandals.
608
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,844
All right, well, let's see
if we can get you bandaged up,
609
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,546
and then we'll get you
to the ER, all right?
610
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,715
We can get that reattached.
Now, where's the toe?
611
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:21,185
Went flying off that way.
I hope you find it,
612
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,721
'cause I lost one
on the other foot in Vietnam.
613
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,523
I served
in Afghanistan.
614
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,792
Well, it look like
you still serving.
615
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:31,228
He sure is, sir.
He sure is.
616
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,863
Would you find that toe,
please?
617
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,932
I can.
618
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:44,508
♪♪
619
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:47,211
[ Growling ]
620
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:48,646
Ike? Ike?
621
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,147
Andy, Andy!
You better go.
622
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:53,985
I'm not responsible
for what I do when I turn!
623
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:56,187
Just go. Run.
624
00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:57,622
You have
to save yourself.
625
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:58,689
What?
Run, Andy!
626
00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,124
Run! Run!
627
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,525
Whoa, he looks like
he's tripping.
628
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:03,327
Where's the girl?
Oh, boy.
629
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:04,795
Where's the girl?!
630
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,764
Shauna is, uh --
631
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,834
Oh, she's there.
That's Shauna.
632
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:14,005
Oh, she took red
pelican ecstasy, though.
633
00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:15,139
She might bite again.
634
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,941
It's an intense roll.
635
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,075
Oh, okay.
636
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:19,944
Yeah, yeah,
she bit him and --
637
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:21,512
Wow, that must've been
some powerful stuff
638
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:22,780
if it got into his system.
639
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,981
Thank goodness.
640
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,450
I really thought he was gonna
turn into a wolf.
641
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:29,053
That's LARP, man.
What?
642
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,521
LARP --
Live Action Role-play.
643
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:31,689
It's what we do here.
644
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,557
Hey, you look cool.
Give me your e-mail.
645
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,226
I'll put you
on the next blast.
646
00:21:35,228 --> 00:21:36,961
I'm good, man.
647
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,863
Andy, Andy.
648
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:40,097
Shauna, Kenneth,
and Starboy
649
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,832
want to go to the zoo
for a little bit,
650
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:43,501
and I told them
that you could drive us.
651
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:44,535
Are you cool to drive?
652
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:45,770
Uh, yeah, I guess.
653
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:48,673
He said yes!
He said yes!
654
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:49,640
Yes!
655
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:50,808
[ Laughs ]
656
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,843
Wow. [ Laughs ]
657
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:53,844
Okay.
658
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,312
[ Both laugh ]
659
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,148
Guys,
we're going to the zoo!
660
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,916
[ Grunts, groans ]
661
00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:00,484
How long
will this last for?
662
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:03,387
About six hours.
Yipes.
663
00:22:03,389 --> 00:22:05,489
Come on, you guys!
664
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,825
♪♪
665
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:10,528
Ohh!
666
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:14,098
Terry: All right, here we go,
here we go, here we go.
667
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,866
Ghoul, get the fire
extinguisher!
668
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,368
I don't know where
anything is here!
669
00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,070
Oh, my God,
is that the head?
670
00:22:19,072 --> 00:22:20,504
Oh, that's very bloody.
671
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:21,706
[ Crash ]
672
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:23,007
Oh, my God!
673
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,608
All right, listen,
you're gonna deliver this baby.
674
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:26,077
I'm gonna
put the fire out.
What?!
675
00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:28,913
When she pushes, just gently
guide it out, okay?
676
00:22:28,915 --> 00:22:30,581
Don't pull, guide.
Don't -- Don't pull.
677
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:31,749
Yeah.
Guide.
678
00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:32,983
[ Screaming ]
Okay.
679
00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:34,351
All right, sweetheart,
we got this.
680
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,953
It's gonna be okay.
You're doing great.
681
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,822
Just push. Push.
682
00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:38,823
Push.
All right, breathe.
683
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:41,759
[ Screams ]
Okay. Yes.
684
00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:42,993
I see -- I see the head.
685
00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:44,161
You're almost there.
Just push.
686
00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:45,429
Here she comes.
Here she comes!
687
00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:46,497
Here comes the baby!
688
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:48,499
Push.
Oh, my gosh!
689
00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:50,234
It's a beautiful girl.
[ Laughs ]
690
00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:54,538
Impressive, probie.
691
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:55,906
[ Speaking Russian ]
692
00:22:55,908 --> 00:22:58,409
Oh, my gosh.
[ Grunting ]
693
00:22:58,411 --> 00:22:59,677
Ano-- Another one?
694
00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:00,611
[ Screaming ]
695
00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:01,912
She's -- She's --
Twins?
696
00:23:01,914 --> 00:23:03,714
Uh-huh.
Okay.
697
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,082
Pretty boring night,
huh, probie?
698
00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:07,184
Full moons
are not bullshit.
699
00:23:08,004 --> 00:23:09,770
♪♪
700
00:23:09,772 --> 00:23:12,306
Man, it's like trying to find
a toe in a haystack.
701
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:13,741
♪♪
702
00:23:13,743 --> 00:23:15,543
Hey, yo, Cap, why don't you use
that Sherlock Holmes stuff
703
00:23:15,545 --> 00:23:16,944
that you was doing earlier?
704
00:23:16,946 --> 00:23:18,879
Not working.
I can't see anything.
705
00:23:18,881 --> 00:23:19,980
Flashlight's broken.
706
00:23:21,451 --> 00:23:23,150
[ Laughs ]
'Cause it's not a flashlight.
707
00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:24,151
It's my Breezy Canyon.
708
00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:25,152
♪♪
709
00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:26,854
What? I was curious.
710
00:23:26,856 --> 00:23:28,155
Lucy: I got to tell you guys,
711
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,324
being at the station
was way more epic tonight.
712
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:32,026
Looking for a toe's
definitely a step down
713
00:23:32,028 --> 00:23:34,428
from delivering twins
and putting out fires.
714
00:23:34,430 --> 00:23:35,763
And fighting off
werewolves.
715
00:23:35,765 --> 00:23:37,097
Hey, where is Ike, anyway?
716
00:23:37,099 --> 00:23:38,199
He's still in the ER.
717
00:23:38,201 --> 00:23:39,700
I tried to return him
into the wild,
718
00:23:39,702 --> 00:23:42,102
but he developed a real taste
for civilization.
719
00:23:42,104 --> 00:23:43,537
I'll tell you one thing,
Cap,
720
00:23:43,539 --> 00:23:45,706
I learned a real
life lesson tonight.
721
00:23:45,708 --> 00:23:47,708
Yeah, what's that?
That there is nothing,
722
00:23:47,710 --> 00:23:49,910
I mean nothing
more gratifying
723
00:23:49,912 --> 00:23:51,412
than the look
in a man's eyes
724
00:23:51,414 --> 00:23:53,214
when you free his junk
from captivity.
725
00:23:53,216 --> 00:23:55,349
[ Laughs ]
Guys are ridiculous.
726
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:57,284
I mean, what night do we get
all the calls about women
727
00:23:57,286 --> 00:23:58,853
sticking stuff
in their hoo-hahs?
728
00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:00,788
-My birthday.
-Oh, hey!
729
00:24:00,790 --> 00:24:01,856
I found something.
730
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:03,557
No, no, no, no.
I got it, I got it.
731
00:24:03,559 --> 00:24:05,125
Look at this.
732
00:24:05,127 --> 00:24:07,228
-That's a toe.
-Oh, yeah.
733
00:24:07,230 --> 00:24:09,797
-Oh, yeah, that's a toe.
-Oh, well, what is --
734
00:24:09,799 --> 00:24:11,799
Oh, my God,
that's a dick!
735
00:24:11,801 --> 00:24:14,969
[ All screaming ]
736
00:24:14,971 --> 00:24:20,140
[ Wolf howling ]
59926
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