All language subtitles for Queer as Folk (US) - 01x10 - Queens of the Road.WEBRip.AAC2.0.H.264-NTb.Eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:43,882 Michael, I have this fantasy. 2 00:00:43,883 --> 00:00:45,149 Uh-huh. 3 00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:46,481 It's Sunday morning, 4 00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:49,082 and I'm lying in bed. 5 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,449 And I hear the little thump of the newspaper at the door, 6 00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:53,416 and the sun's just coming through the window. 7 00:00:53,417 --> 00:00:55,250 - Yeah? - And in the distance, 8 00:00:55,251 --> 00:00:58,517 I hear the sound of someone singing very quietly 9 00:00:58,518 --> 00:01:00,283 because they don't want to wake me up. 10 00:01:00,284 --> 00:01:03,117 Well, that's considerate, I think. 11 00:01:03,118 --> 00:01:05,918 And, as I look across the room, 12 00:01:05,919 --> 00:01:09,018 I see, through the frosted glass of the shower, 13 00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:10,885 the shape... 14 00:01:10,886 --> 00:01:14,118 Of the guy that I love. 15 00:01:14,119 --> 00:01:15,852 Am I conditioning my hair at the time? 16 00:01:15,853 --> 00:01:16,886 - I'm being serious, Michael. - I know. 17 00:01:16,887 --> 00:01:17,919 I'm sorry. It sounds nice. 18 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,420 It is nice. It can be nice. 19 00:01:19,421 --> 00:01:21,987 It will be nice when you move in with me. 20 00:01:21,988 --> 00:01:24,287 Hey, what do you know? X-Men is out on DVD. 21 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,821 You haven't given me an answer yet. 22 00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:31,320 I've been thinking about it. 23 00:01:31,321 --> 00:01:34,054 - And? - Well... 24 00:01:34,055 --> 00:01:35,022 It's a big step. 25 00:01:35,023 --> 00:01:36,855 - Watch out for the dog poop. - Heh. 26 00:01:36,856 --> 00:01:38,455 Yes, it's a big step. Of course it's a big step. 27 00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:40,022 And I don't want to put pressure on you, 28 00:01:40,023 --> 00:01:41,855 but I believe that when somebody knows what they want, 29 00:01:41,856 --> 00:01:43,489 they've got to go after it. 30 00:01:43,490 --> 00:01:48,190 I want you to be coming out of that shower, 31 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,224 and I want to know that you're not going to run out. 32 00:01:53,525 --> 00:01:55,924 Wouldn't you like that too? 33 00:01:55,925 --> 00:01:57,258 Well, sure. 34 00:01:57,259 --> 00:01:59,124 So when do I get an answer? 35 00:01:59,125 --> 00:02:01,258 Soon. 36 00:02:01,259 --> 00:02:03,391 I promise. 37 00:02:03,392 --> 00:02:06,025 Are we still on for brunch tomorrow? 38 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,159 I can hardly wait. 39 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,027 Mm. 40 00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:14,993 - David? - Yeah? 41 00:02:14,994 --> 00:02:18,127 Nobody's ever put me in a fantasy before. 42 00:02:18,128 --> 00:02:19,995 That you know about. 43 00:02:22,929 --> 00:02:24,494 Bye. 44 00:02:24,495 --> 00:02:26,461 Don't they have the most beautiful baby? 45 00:02:26,462 --> 00:02:27,928 - Hi! - Hi, Linz. 46 00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:30,328 - Hi. - Second most beautiful. 47 00:02:30,329 --> 00:02:33,529 Mmm-mwah. Mmm... 48 00:02:33,530 --> 00:02:35,329 Did you know he's a stay-at-home dad? 49 00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:37,463 Really? So who pays for the pampers? 50 00:02:37,464 --> 00:02:38,863 She does. 51 00:02:38,864 --> 00:02:41,097 Something with stocks and the Internet. 52 00:02:41,098 --> 00:02:42,496 Come on, hurry up. We're going. 53 00:02:42,497 --> 00:02:45,863 Anyway, I was just thinking. 54 00:02:45,864 --> 00:02:47,297 I'd like to stay at home. 55 00:02:47,298 --> 00:02:48,265 Well, that sounds good. 56 00:02:48,266 --> 00:02:49,731 We can order in kung-pao chicken, 57 00:02:49,732 --> 00:02:50,964 rent Terms of Endearment. 58 00:02:50,965 --> 00:02:52,732 You know what I mean. 59 00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:57,232 What about your job? 60 00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:59,232 Do you think anyone ever looked back on their life 61 00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:01,199 and said, "gee... I wish I hadn't 62 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,366 taken that year off to be with the baby"? 63 00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:06,866 But I thought we had a plan, a good plan. 64 00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,400 After your maternity leave is up 65 00:03:08,401 --> 00:03:11,734 - and we get a nanny... - A nanny. I know, I know. 66 00:03:11,735 --> 00:03:14,867 But I didn't think I'd be in love like this. 67 00:03:14,868 --> 00:03:18,002 Hmm. 68 00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:20,002 Look, I'm perfectly happy 69 00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:21,235 for you to stay at home, 70 00:03:21,236 --> 00:03:22,868 and I think it'd be wonderful for Gus 71 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,235 to have one of his mommies with him. 72 00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:28,103 - But we have to be practical. - Money. 73 00:03:28,104 --> 00:03:31,203 Unless you have a solution. 74 00:03:31,204 --> 00:03:33,236 Brian? 75 00:03:33,237 --> 00:03:35,004 It was just a suggestion. 76 00:03:35,005 --> 00:03:37,337 After what he did? 77 00:03:37,338 --> 00:03:39,837 Just remember, we wouldn't have Gus without him. 78 00:03:39,838 --> 00:03:44,738 And every time I look at him, kiss him, hold him, 79 00:03:44,739 --> 00:03:47,305 I realize I have absolutely no rights. 80 00:03:47,306 --> 00:03:50,405 You're still his parent, every bit as much as I am. 81 00:03:50,406 --> 00:03:54,106 Not every bit. Brian took that away from me. 82 00:03:54,107 --> 00:03:55,807 I have no more claims to our son 83 00:03:55,808 --> 00:03:58,108 than if I were a total stranger. 84 00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:06,674 Oh, my God! He lives here? 85 00:04:06,675 --> 00:04:09,175 Now I do too. Isn't that cool? 86 00:04:09,176 --> 00:04:12,442 Check out the TV. And the DVDs. 87 00:04:12,443 --> 00:04:15,176 The furniture is all Italian. 88 00:04:15,177 --> 00:04:17,109 Milan. 89 00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:20,844 Ooh! Wait till you see the painting of the naked guy. 90 00:04:23,144 --> 00:04:25,143 Ohh. 91 00:04:25,144 --> 00:04:27,244 Oh, my God. 92 00:04:28,244 --> 00:04:29,744 Justin, uh... 93 00:04:29,745 --> 00:04:31,112 A word. 94 00:04:34,913 --> 00:04:36,211 Hmm? 95 00:04:36,212 --> 00:04:37,678 What the fuck is going on out there? 96 00:04:37,679 --> 00:04:39,812 I was just giving my friend Daphne a tour. 97 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,712 - This is not the White House! - Ow. 98 00:04:41,713 --> 00:04:43,179 George Washington never slept here. 99 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,214 He's the only one who hasn't. 100 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,747 Would you please just keep it down? 101 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,079 Do you have any idea what time it is? 102 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,014 It's noon. 103 00:04:53,015 --> 00:04:54,414 Oh, shit. 104 00:04:54,415 --> 00:04:56,915 I'm supposed to meet my new trainer at 1:00. Fuck! 105 00:05:02,349 --> 00:05:05,348 You're just going to have to be more considerate, Daph. 106 00:05:05,349 --> 00:05:07,049 Do either one of you know how to make 107 00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:09,016 a creatine and soy shake? 108 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,082 No. 109 00:05:11,083 --> 00:05:13,884 Would you please just pour me some guava juice? 110 00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:23,217 - Hmm. - Oh. Here it is. 111 00:05:23,218 --> 00:05:24,384 So are you going home today? 112 00:05:24,385 --> 00:05:25,851 What for? 113 00:05:25,852 --> 00:05:28,285 Well, I saw the balloons on the mailbox. 114 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,285 Oh, shit. 115 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:32,685 Molly's birthday. 116 00:05:32,686 --> 00:05:34,985 Uh, yeah, but how can I go back now? 117 00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:37,085 She's your little sister. 118 00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:38,986 - I'm sure she misses you. - Yeah. 119 00:05:38,987 --> 00:05:41,853 She's probably appropriated all my coolest stuff. 120 00:05:41,854 --> 00:05:43,987 Here's your drink, Brian. 121 00:05:45,855 --> 00:05:47,754 You'll make an excellent wife. 122 00:05:47,755 --> 00:05:49,654 And then she can drop you. 123 00:05:49,655 --> 00:05:52,054 Please. I'm never getting married. 124 00:05:52,055 --> 00:05:53,621 I mean, why be tied down? 125 00:05:53,622 --> 00:05:58,088 I love this girl. So... 126 00:05:58,089 --> 00:06:01,355 I'm going. What are you doing? 127 00:06:01,356 --> 00:06:04,256 Mmm, gonna smoke some weed, download porn. 128 00:06:04,257 --> 00:06:05,989 Mm-hmm. Well, if you go out, 129 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,858 be sure and set the alarm. 130 00:06:09,958 --> 00:06:11,925 Bye, darling. 131 00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:17,257 Oh, my God. 132 00:06:17,258 --> 00:06:20,126 He's to die for. 133 00:06:23,293 --> 00:06:25,258 Honey, I... 134 00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:26,992 I'm so happy for you. 135 00:06:26,993 --> 00:06:30,059 - When... when did he ask? - Last week. 136 00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:32,593 Last week? Last week? 137 00:06:32,594 --> 00:06:33,626 Why didn't you tell me? 138 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,593 I haven't told anyone. 139 00:06:35,594 --> 00:06:36,594 I haven't decided yet. 140 00:06:36,595 --> 00:06:38,260 Wha... what's to decide? 141 00:06:38,261 --> 00:06:39,627 The man of your dreams 142 00:06:39,628 --> 00:06:40,761 wants you to move in with him. 143 00:06:40,762 --> 00:06:41,828 Wha... 144 00:06:41,829 --> 00:06:44,228 I don't know if we're ready. 145 00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:46,628 We don't know each other very well, and... 146 00:06:46,629 --> 00:06:47,795 Please. There's plenty of time for that 147 00:06:47,796 --> 00:06:49,562 once you're living together. 148 00:06:49,563 --> 00:06:52,196 What about my stuff? My comics and... 149 00:06:52,197 --> 00:06:55,262 And my robots and Captain Astro? 150 00:06:55,263 --> 00:06:56,629 Fuck Captain Astro. 151 00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:59,996 You've got Dr. David. 152 00:06:59,997 --> 00:07:01,730 This is still my home. 153 00:07:01,731 --> 00:07:03,897 This dump? 154 00:07:03,898 --> 00:07:07,698 Honey, you won't look back. 155 00:07:07,699 --> 00:07:09,765 Well, and what about you guys? 156 00:07:09,766 --> 00:07:13,199 If I'm living with someone, I... I won't be able to see you. 157 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,200 Of course you will. 158 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,998 I, for one, expect to be invited 159 00:07:16,999 --> 00:07:21,566 to fabulous dinner parties at least once a week. 160 00:07:27,202 --> 00:07:29,234 This is about what a certain someone is going to say, 161 00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:31,668 isn't it? 162 00:07:31,669 --> 00:07:35,568 Well, I say that you deserve to be loved. 163 00:07:35,569 --> 00:07:38,235 And don't let any man, queen, 164 00:07:38,236 --> 00:07:42,603 or Brian tell you otherwise. 165 00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:47,837 Thanks, Em. 166 00:07:47,838 --> 00:07:49,204 You're welcome. 167 00:07:53,871 --> 00:07:57,237 Now, there's just one other thing. 168 00:07:57,238 --> 00:07:58,671 What about me? 169 00:07:58,672 --> 00:08:00,804 How the hell am I supposed to pay the rent on this place 170 00:08:00,805 --> 00:08:01,971 all by myself? 171 00:08:01,972 --> 00:08:04,071 - Rotten bastard. - Whoa. Ohh! 172 00:08:06,739 --> 00:08:08,239 Okay, get ready for the count of three. 173 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,573 - One, two, three... - Make a wish! 174 00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:11,773 Make a wish! 175 00:08:16,074 --> 00:08:17,708 You're going to get your wish. 176 00:08:19,174 --> 00:08:20,741 Jennifer... 177 00:08:24,142 --> 00:08:27,141 Sweetheart. 178 00:08:27,142 --> 00:08:30,075 You came. 179 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,075 I couldn't miss Molly's birthday. 180 00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,709 Where's Dad? 181 00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,509 Uh, he's upstairs watching the game. 182 00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:36,809 Kids' parties aren't exactly his thing. 183 00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:38,442 Molly. 184 00:08:38,443 --> 00:08:39,642 Justin! 185 00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:41,443 Happy Birthday, mollusk. 186 00:08:41,444 --> 00:08:42,844 What you gonna give me? 187 00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:44,944 Permission to live. 188 00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:46,478 Here. 189 00:08:53,545 --> 00:08:54,946 Justin, this is beautiful. 190 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,947 Hey? Okay, go get some cake. 191 00:09:00,513 --> 00:09:02,546 - She's thrilled you came. - Yeah? 192 00:09:02,547 --> 00:09:04,413 How could you tell? 193 00:09:04,414 --> 00:09:06,746 Are you all right? Are you eating? 194 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,480 Does it look like I'm starving? 195 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,481 Well, you are staying for dinner? 196 00:09:11,482 --> 00:09:13,113 That depends if Dad wants to see me. 197 00:09:13,114 --> 00:09:15,781 Of course he wants to see you. 198 00:09:15,782 --> 00:09:17,848 He's as upset about this as you are. 199 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,114 Really? 200 00:09:19,115 --> 00:09:21,582 He wants you to come home, 201 00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:23,415 as you know I do. 202 00:09:23,416 --> 00:09:26,849 Well... I want to come home too. 203 00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,983 God, Justin. 204 00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:34,916 I'm so glad to hear you say that. 205 00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:36,584 - Let's go tell him. - Wait. 206 00:09:36,585 --> 00:09:39,917 What about the rules? 207 00:09:39,918 --> 00:09:41,951 Which rules? 208 00:09:41,952 --> 00:09:43,984 That I can't go out or see Brian, 209 00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:47,985 or talk about my "disgusting lifestyle." 210 00:09:47,986 --> 00:09:50,552 I don't... I don't think he meant it quite that way. 211 00:09:50,553 --> 00:09:53,419 Well, what did he mean? 212 00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:57,953 I think he just wants everything to be as it was. 213 00:09:58,754 --> 00:10:00,453 Well, it can't be the way it was. 214 00:10:00,454 --> 00:10:02,687 I'm not the way I was. 215 00:10:02,688 --> 00:10:04,120 And I... I don't want you to be anything other 216 00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:07,055 than who you are, I just... 217 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:13,555 I have to consider the needs of this whole family, 218 00:10:13,556 --> 00:10:15,857 not just your desires. 219 00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:22,356 You have to understand that. 220 00:10:22,357 --> 00:10:24,090 Mom. 221 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,824 Mom? 222 00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:35,391 Let's get that cake cut. 223 00:10:35,392 --> 00:10:36,824 I don't know. 224 00:10:36,825 --> 00:10:38,325 That's why I was asking. 225 00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,725 The first piece. You like the flower, right? 226 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,559 Yeah. 227 00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:47,927 Yay! 228 00:11:04,762 --> 00:11:06,862 Oh, wow. Whew. 229 00:11:06,863 --> 00:11:08,362 And that was just the warm-up. 230 00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:09,429 Wow! 231 00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:11,562 Now we do some serious pumping, 232 00:11:11,563 --> 00:11:14,729 focusing on each muscle group. 233 00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:16,897 And plenty of reps. 234 00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,631 What the fuck? 235 00:11:23,632 --> 00:11:26,398 Jesus, I thought I told that kid... 236 00:11:29,699 --> 00:11:31,365 My fucking television's gone. 237 00:11:31,366 --> 00:11:33,432 And my computer. 238 00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:35,832 Oh, fuck! My files. 239 00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:37,966 They even stole my fucking clothes! 240 00:11:43,701 --> 00:11:47,601 At least the bed's still here. 241 00:11:47,602 --> 00:11:50,934 You had any strangers in the house recently? 242 00:12:03,570 --> 00:12:05,569 Uh, no. Just, uh... 243 00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:07,569 Family and close friends. 244 00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:08,703 So you want me to pick you up 245 00:12:08,704 --> 00:12:09,970 or do you want to meet me at Woody's? 246 00:12:09,971 --> 00:12:11,303 Fuck Woody's. 247 00:12:11,304 --> 00:12:12,704 I've been robbed. 248 00:12:12,705 --> 00:12:14,838 Get your ass over here. 249 00:12:22,006 --> 00:12:23,973 Holy shit! 250 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,806 Forgot to set the alarm? 251 00:12:29,807 --> 00:12:32,973 I th... I thought I did. 252 00:12:32,974 --> 00:12:35,406 Thought you did? Well, you didn't. 253 00:12:35,407 --> 00:12:36,874 Where the fuck did you go? 254 00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:38,840 My sister's birthday party. 255 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,841 And then I kinda walked around. 256 00:12:41,842 --> 00:12:43,975 Well, while you were "kinda" walking around 257 00:12:43,976 --> 00:12:46,541 - I got "kinda" robbed. - Just take it easy. 258 00:12:46,542 --> 00:12:49,275 Well, that's... that's all there's left to take. 259 00:12:49,276 --> 00:12:51,242 Look, I didn't mean to do it. 260 00:12:51,243 --> 00:12:53,909 I'm so sorry. 261 00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:56,309 I told you, when I said you could stay here, 262 00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:58,610 there are rules. 263 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,210 Now you've got five minutes to pack your shit, 264 00:13:01,211 --> 00:13:03,677 none of which, of course, was stolen, 265 00:13:03,678 --> 00:13:08,445 and get the fuck out of here! 266 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,312 Brian got robbed. 267 00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:23,247 Well, Brian should move to a safer neighborhood. 268 00:13:23,248 --> 00:13:25,447 Like this. I leave my door unlocked, 269 00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,313 nothing ever gets taken. 270 00:13:27,314 --> 00:13:29,780 Not many thieves are looking for a velvet matador painting 271 00:13:29,781 --> 00:13:31,947 and a console TV set from 1968, Mom. 272 00:13:31,948 --> 00:13:33,714 Those things happen to be 273 00:13:33,715 --> 00:13:35,848 very collectable these days. 274 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,715 So do they have any idea who did it? 275 00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,748 No, but Brian sure is pissed at Justin. 276 00:13:40,749 --> 00:13:42,549 Poor Sunshine. 277 00:13:42,550 --> 00:13:44,616 Here, have some pancakes. 278 00:13:44,617 --> 00:13:45,782 Can't. I have a brunch. 279 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,816 A brunch? My, aren't we fancy? 280 00:13:48,817 --> 00:13:51,483 It's the same thing as breakfast... 281 00:13:51,484 --> 00:13:53,316 Except with some kiwi fruit on the side. 282 00:13:53,317 --> 00:13:56,417 Are you going with David, my chiropractor-in-law? 283 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:57,783 Don't you start too. 284 00:13:57,784 --> 00:13:59,684 Start what? All I did was ask. 285 00:13:59,685 --> 00:14:01,918 Next thing you know, you'll be wanting to know 286 00:14:01,919 --> 00:14:03,818 if we're gonna move in together. 287 00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:06,918 Wait a minute. Back up. 288 00:14:06,919 --> 00:14:09,187 He asked you? 289 00:14:12,487 --> 00:14:15,286 Yes, he asked. 290 00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:17,319 Did you hear that? 291 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,853 He asked you? 292 00:14:19,854 --> 00:14:22,621 Oh, Michael! That's wonderful! 293 00:14:22,622 --> 00:14:24,254 Congratulations, Mikey. 294 00:14:24,255 --> 00:14:26,255 Oh! I've got some beautiful heirloom pieces 295 00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:27,621 that your grandmother gave me. 296 00:14:27,622 --> 00:14:29,188 I've been saving them up just for you. 297 00:14:29,189 --> 00:14:30,688 Don't drag out the candlesticks yet. 298 00:14:30,689 --> 00:14:33,222 I didn't say yes. 299 00:14:33,223 --> 00:14:34,855 Well, what did you say? 300 00:14:34,856 --> 00:14:36,788 Well, I said I'd think about it. 301 00:14:36,789 --> 00:14:38,723 What's to think about? 302 00:14:38,724 --> 00:14:40,389 Plenty. 303 00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:42,689 I remember it took Roberto and me six months 304 00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:46,156 to finally decide to live together. 305 00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:47,524 And a week to break up. 306 00:14:47,525 --> 00:14:49,258 Well, how did you know he was still seeing 307 00:14:49,259 --> 00:14:50,624 three of his ex-es? 308 00:14:50,625 --> 00:14:51,690 And why do you have to fill the kid's head 309 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,525 with horror stories? 310 00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,124 I'm just saying it's not so easy 311 00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:56,424 for two men to be a couple. 312 00:14:56,425 --> 00:14:59,426 You think it's easy for anybody? 313 00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:04,526 But if you love each other, 314 00:15:04,527 --> 00:15:08,394 you at least owe it to yourselves to try. 315 00:15:13,661 --> 00:15:15,094 You didn't have to make brunch. 316 00:15:15,095 --> 00:15:17,127 Brunch is served. 317 00:15:17,128 --> 00:15:18,594 I brought brunch. 318 00:15:18,595 --> 00:15:22,195 12 Armani suits, 4 Gucci belts, 319 00:15:22,196 --> 00:15:25,396 and 6 pairs of Prada shoes, gone. 320 00:15:27,264 --> 00:15:29,563 You know I'm starting to suspect gay-on-gay crime. 321 00:15:29,564 --> 00:15:31,129 Well, I wouldn't be surprised. 322 00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,363 You have more visitors than Disney World. 323 00:15:33,364 --> 00:15:35,496 I can't find a knife for the cream cheese. 324 00:15:35,497 --> 00:15:37,531 Yeah? Well, they stole that too. 325 00:15:37,532 --> 00:15:39,297 They stole your cutlery? 326 00:15:39,298 --> 00:15:40,531 Even my juicer. I mean... 327 00:15:40,532 --> 00:15:43,064 Who the fuck steals a Philippe Starck juicer? 328 00:15:43,065 --> 00:15:47,198 A thirsty thief with good taste? 329 00:15:47,199 --> 00:15:48,398 I didn't know you could cook. 330 00:15:48,399 --> 00:15:50,798 Mm. Someday I'm gonna make some lucky man 331 00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:52,399 the perfect wife. 332 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,633 I used to say the same thing. 333 00:15:54,634 --> 00:15:57,733 Oh, but instead you've made someone the perfect husband. 334 00:15:57,734 --> 00:15:59,166 Mmm! 335 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,766 These days you boys are so careful about what you eat. 336 00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:05,333 All those egg whites and protein bars. 337 00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:07,167 I suspect it's less to do with health 338 00:16:07,168 --> 00:16:11,034 and more about keeping those 29-inch waists. 339 00:16:11,035 --> 00:16:13,135 Oh, come on. You guys are in great shape. 340 00:16:13,136 --> 00:16:16,135 Mm, we try to stay active. 341 00:16:16,136 --> 00:16:17,602 If you know what I mean. 342 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,236 Well, I hope they find who's responsible. 343 00:16:21,237 --> 00:16:22,536 I know who's responsible. 344 00:16:22,537 --> 00:16:24,769 That little asshole who forgot to set my alarm. 345 00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:26,637 Ohh, as if you never forgot anything. 346 00:16:26,638 --> 00:16:29,271 Nothing that important. 347 00:16:29,272 --> 00:16:31,404 You know, I just want Lindsay to be happy. 348 00:16:31,405 --> 00:16:32,604 That's all I've ever wanted. 349 00:16:32,605 --> 00:16:34,271 I think it's great that she wants to stay home 350 00:16:34,272 --> 00:16:35,671 with the baby, but... 351 00:16:35,672 --> 00:16:37,071 On your salary alone, 352 00:16:37,072 --> 00:16:39,238 I just don't see how we can make it work. 353 00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,672 Maybe if I took on a bigger case load. 354 00:16:42,673 --> 00:16:46,373 Or, um, what if we reduced our expenses? 355 00:16:46,374 --> 00:16:48,139 Mm. It's going to be kind of tough 356 00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,706 with another mouth to feed. 357 00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,273 These two met in World War II. 358 00:16:52,274 --> 00:16:54,573 - We served on a warship. - The "Yorktown." 359 00:16:54,574 --> 00:16:57,374 Talk about your gay cruise. 360 00:16:57,375 --> 00:16:59,440 There was this place behind the ammo bay 361 00:16:59,441 --> 00:17:01,241 where you could get a blow job 362 00:17:01,242 --> 00:17:03,208 any time, day or night. 363 00:17:05,276 --> 00:17:06,542 This was wartime. 364 00:17:06,543 --> 00:17:08,475 You could die at any moment. 365 00:17:08,476 --> 00:17:13,075 And sex was how you knew you were still alive. 366 00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:15,010 I know you may not want to hear this, 367 00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:17,277 considering he wouldn't give you parental rights, 368 00:17:17,278 --> 00:17:18,610 - but, uh... - No, I told Lindsay, 369 00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:20,677 Brian is not the solution to our problems. 370 00:17:20,678 --> 00:17:24,177 He's the cause. And he can keep his goddamn money. 371 00:17:24,178 --> 00:17:28,112 Well, then there's only one other possibility. 372 00:17:31,679 --> 00:17:33,178 So where is he? 373 00:17:33,179 --> 00:17:34,512 - Who? - Justin. 374 00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:36,679 I don't know! 375 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,746 I told him to pack his shit and get the hell out. 376 00:17:40,747 --> 00:17:43,713 You want me to use my inheritance my father gave me? 377 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,413 Well, if it's that important to you 378 00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:49,648 to have Lindsay stay home with the baby. 379 00:17:49,649 --> 00:17:51,514 It's just that that... 380 00:17:51,515 --> 00:17:53,314 That's my nest-egg. 381 00:17:53,315 --> 00:17:55,648 It's all I have in case something should happen. 382 00:17:55,649 --> 00:17:58,248 I know. It's a tough call. 383 00:17:58,249 --> 00:18:00,448 And, believe me, if there was any other way, 384 00:18:00,449 --> 00:18:05,116 but I really don't see that we have any other options. 385 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:07,216 We just came back from Bora Bora. 386 00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:09,349 - Yeah? - Went there on our 50th. 387 00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:11,384 50th? 388 00:18:11,385 --> 00:18:13,417 Anniversary. 389 00:18:13,418 --> 00:18:15,083 Holy shit! 390 00:18:15,084 --> 00:18:17,317 Yeah! It amazes me too! 391 00:18:25,386 --> 00:18:27,919 I can't believe they've been together for so long. 392 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,019 Well, that's why I wanted you to meet them, 393 00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:31,419 to see it's possible for two men 394 00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:33,452 to share a life together. 395 00:18:33,453 --> 00:18:36,986 It's what I'd like for us. 396 00:18:36,987 --> 00:18:39,054 Are you two planning to live together? 397 00:18:39,055 --> 00:18:40,487 Michael hasn't decided yet. 398 00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:43,555 But I'm hoping. 399 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:44,588 What's stopping you? 400 00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:47,055 I get nervous on cruises. 401 00:18:47,056 --> 00:18:49,454 I get seasick crossing the Susquehanna, so... 402 00:18:49,455 --> 00:18:51,455 Listen, young man, 403 00:18:51,456 --> 00:18:53,556 living together ain't for sissies. 404 00:18:53,557 --> 00:18:55,322 Neither is growing old. 405 00:18:55,323 --> 00:18:56,923 And no matter what the problems, 406 00:18:56,924 --> 00:18:58,456 the sacrifices, it's worth it. 407 00:18:58,457 --> 00:19:02,990 Having someone beside you who shares your life... 408 00:19:03,991 --> 00:19:06,158 And you are there to share his. 409 00:19:09,292 --> 00:19:11,257 - You sent him away? - Look, I did him a favor, 410 00:19:11,258 --> 00:19:12,658 and this is how he repays me. 411 00:19:12,659 --> 00:19:14,358 He didn't do it on purpose. 412 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,058 Would you please stop making excuses for him? 413 00:19:17,059 --> 00:19:18,292 Sorry. 414 00:19:18,293 --> 00:19:20,425 Must be a force of habit. 415 00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,959 Come on, honey. 416 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,960 Hey, where are you going? 417 00:19:24,961 --> 00:19:26,359 It's time for Gus's brunch. 418 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,860 I thought you were going to help me with this list. 419 00:19:28,861 --> 00:19:31,127 Oh, yeah. There's one valuable item that's missing 420 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,327 that can't be replaced. 421 00:19:42,035 --> 00:19:43,620 _ 422 00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:46,462 You're such a big, dramatic queen. 423 00:19:46,463 --> 00:19:47,863 It's "drama queen," 424 00:19:47,864 --> 00:19:49,362 and do you have a better idea? 425 00:19:49,363 --> 00:19:50,596 You could stay at my house. 426 00:19:50,597 --> 00:19:53,996 Yeah, I'm sure your parents would love that. 427 00:19:53,997 --> 00:19:56,330 Well, what are you gonna do in New York? 428 00:19:56,331 --> 00:19:58,330 - Model? - You're skinny enough. 429 00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:00,464 You have, like, the world's most-perfect hair. 430 00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:02,364 Or I could be a go-go boy. 431 00:20:02,365 --> 00:20:03,898 I've seen 'em at Babylon. 432 00:20:03,899 --> 00:20:06,098 I could make, like, 100 bucks a night. 433 00:20:06,099 --> 00:20:07,499 Maybe I could come with you. 434 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,532 - I can shake it up too! - That'd be great. 435 00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:11,532 You and me! 436 00:20:11,533 --> 00:20:13,199 Except... 437 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,933 I have to be home by 11:00. 438 00:20:15,934 --> 00:20:19,100 Well... I'm going. 439 00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:24,967 Look at this. 440 00:20:24,968 --> 00:20:28,135 It's a confirmation number. I charged a ticket. 441 00:20:28,136 --> 00:20:29,568 Since when do you have a credit card? 442 00:20:29,569 --> 00:20:31,435 I took Brian's. 443 00:20:31,436 --> 00:20:33,535 That's like a major felony or something. 444 00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,435 You could go to jail for that. 445 00:20:35,436 --> 00:20:38,102 Least I'd have a place to live. 446 00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,103 Besides, I'm gonna pay him back 447 00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:41,403 as soon as I get a job. 448 00:20:41,404 --> 00:20:43,169 I just gotta get out of here. 449 00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:45,970 Now. 450 00:20:45,971 --> 00:20:47,803 50 years? 451 00:20:47,804 --> 00:20:50,304 Poor suckers. 452 00:20:50,305 --> 00:20:52,337 Do you think they still do it? 453 00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,971 At their age, it's not about sex. 454 00:20:54,972 --> 00:20:57,405 Yeah, it's about life support. 455 00:20:57,406 --> 00:20:58,406 You know, it just so happens a person can have 456 00:20:58,407 --> 00:21:00,405 an active sex life at any age. 457 00:21:00,406 --> 00:21:02,939 Well, that means there's still hope for you. 458 00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,272 So when are you and the doc 459 00:21:04,273 --> 00:21:06,139 going to start massaging each other's prostates? 460 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,539 Would you give him a break? 461 00:21:07,540 --> 00:21:09,507 He's having enough trouble deciding. 462 00:21:09,508 --> 00:21:12,807 Then why not consult Mysterious Marilyn? 463 00:21:12,808 --> 00:21:14,107 What'll it be, boys? 464 00:21:14,108 --> 00:21:16,540 Palms? Tarot? Spin around the ouija? 465 00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:17,974 Only 20 bucks. 466 00:21:22,043 --> 00:21:24,275 All right. 467 00:21:24,276 --> 00:21:26,908 10, and not a peso more. 468 00:21:26,909 --> 00:21:29,075 Mysterious Marilyn senses you're an accountant. 469 00:21:29,076 --> 00:21:30,509 Oh, she's good. 470 00:21:30,510 --> 00:21:34,777 You, the one with the boyfriend, sit. 471 00:21:34,778 --> 00:21:36,877 Put your digits on the ouija, sweetheart. 472 00:21:38,511 --> 00:21:41,878 Ouija, what is his true love's name? 473 00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,411 "B"... 474 00:21:46,412 --> 00:21:48,245 "R"... 475 00:21:48,246 --> 00:21:50,211 - "I"... - Oh, this is too weird. 476 00:21:50,212 --> 00:21:51,879 That is not my boyfriend's name. 477 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,312 That wasn't the question. 478 00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,879 And, frankly, he's a bad bet. 479 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,246 Now let's ask about your boyfriend. 480 00:21:59,247 --> 00:22:01,013 Hey! 481 00:22:01,014 --> 00:22:02,281 Justin's run away. 482 00:22:03,814 --> 00:22:06,080 - What are you talking about? - He went to New York! 483 00:22:06,081 --> 00:22:08,113 - With your credit card. - What? 484 00:22:08,114 --> 00:22:10,981 Um... He took your credit card. 485 00:22:10,982 --> 00:22:12,214 That little fuck! 486 00:22:12,215 --> 00:22:15,014 He's going to become a go-go boy in Chelsea. 487 00:22:15,015 --> 00:22:16,815 And he's going to be very successful. 488 00:22:16,816 --> 00:22:18,481 How do you know? 489 00:22:18,482 --> 00:22:19,915 God writes the script, sweetie, 490 00:22:19,916 --> 00:22:22,216 I just say the lines. 491 00:22:24,383 --> 00:22:27,050 You better find him and bring him back. 492 00:22:27,051 --> 00:22:29,083 I see you on the Pennsylvania turnpike. 493 00:22:29,084 --> 00:22:30,250 Yeah, the fuck you do. 494 00:22:30,251 --> 00:22:31,251 And before you leave, 495 00:22:31,252 --> 00:22:33,550 be sure to check the air in your tires. 496 00:22:34,601 --> 00:22:36,801 This is all your fault. 497 00:22:36,802 --> 00:22:37,736 Ow! 498 00:22:37,737 --> 00:22:40,601 This is all your fault! 499 00:22:42,803 --> 00:22:44,602 Since when is he my responsibility? 500 00:22:44,603 --> 00:22:46,569 Since you took him home and fucked him! 501 00:22:46,570 --> 00:22:48,602 - Ma, please. - Well, that's the truth. 502 00:22:48,603 --> 00:22:50,669 I mean, you've gotten away with a lot, 503 00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:52,670 more than you should, but not this time. 504 00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:54,203 Now, you're going to New York. 505 00:22:54,204 --> 00:22:55,270 The fuck I am. 506 00:22:55,271 --> 00:22:56,570 And you're bringing Sunshine home 507 00:22:56,571 --> 00:22:58,703 in exactly the condition which you found him. 508 00:22:58,704 --> 00:23:00,237 Otherwise it's not his parents or the police 509 00:23:00,238 --> 00:23:01,571 you're gonna answer to, honey. 510 00:23:01,572 --> 00:23:02,704 You're gonna answer to me. 511 00:23:02,705 --> 00:23:04,105 Why do you care? 512 00:23:04,106 --> 00:23:05,305 'Cause I couldn't live with myself 513 00:23:05,306 --> 00:23:06,571 if something happened to that kid. 514 00:23:06,572 --> 00:23:08,172 I love him like my son. 515 00:23:08,173 --> 00:23:09,971 Hell, you're all my sons. 516 00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:13,239 Thank you, Arthur Miller. 517 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,705 Look, I mean New York's a pretty big place. 518 00:23:15,706 --> 00:23:17,139 How are we supposed to find him? 519 00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:18,873 Daphne said he'd be in Chelsea. 520 00:23:18,874 --> 00:23:21,940 I'm not going to New York. 521 00:23:21,941 --> 00:23:23,840 Look, I'll go with you. 522 00:23:23,841 --> 00:23:25,507 What about your work? 523 00:23:25,508 --> 00:23:26,874 I can miss a day. 524 00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:29,208 See? You never have to ask this kid for anything. 525 00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:31,175 Well, as long as the backseat's empty, 526 00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:32,842 I guess I might as well be in it. 527 00:23:32,843 --> 00:23:34,275 Yeah, yeah! Count me in. 528 00:23:34,276 --> 00:23:36,075 Why do you guys want to go? 529 00:23:36,076 --> 00:23:37,675 "Wh... why"? 530 00:23:37,676 --> 00:23:39,942 Why? 531 00:23:39,943 --> 00:23:42,142 How can you even ask that? 532 00:23:42,143 --> 00:23:43,876 Brian, you're one of our closest friends. 533 00:23:43,877 --> 00:23:45,243 I can't let you go off on this perilous journey 534 00:23:45,244 --> 00:23:46,244 all on your own! 535 00:23:46,245 --> 00:23:48,577 We are gonna be with you all the way. 536 00:23:48,578 --> 00:23:50,977 I'm really touched. 537 00:23:50,978 --> 00:23:53,912 What's the real reason? 538 00:23:55,078 --> 00:23:57,478 Road trip! Road trip! 539 00:23:57,479 --> 00:24:00,180 Road trip! Road trip! Road trip! 540 00:24:02,079 --> 00:24:04,946 Well, it's... it's going to be a bumpy night, 541 00:24:04,947 --> 00:24:06,546 so let's do a "bump" and, uh, stay up. 542 00:24:06,547 --> 00:24:09,146 Put that shit away. 543 00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:11,814 Don't worry. I've got Valium to come down. 544 00:24:11,815 --> 00:24:14,480 If you're not careful, you're going to get addicted. 545 00:24:14,481 --> 00:24:16,580 Please! I've been doing this for years. 546 00:24:19,115 --> 00:24:21,115 I don't know what clothes to take. 547 00:24:21,116 --> 00:24:23,148 Just, um, pack your basic little black dress. 548 00:24:23,149 --> 00:24:26,715 Works for all occasions. 549 00:24:26,716 --> 00:24:28,615 Damn it. Where is it? 550 00:24:28,616 --> 00:24:29,682 What? 551 00:24:29,683 --> 00:24:31,116 The Broadway Album. 552 00:24:31,117 --> 00:24:33,116 Can't go to the Big Apple without Barbra. 553 00:24:34,551 --> 00:24:36,483 Road trip! Road trip! 554 00:24:36,484 --> 00:24:38,716 Road trip! Road... 555 00:24:38,717 --> 00:24:39,750 Trip. 556 00:24:39,751 --> 00:24:41,950 I got your message. 557 00:24:41,951 --> 00:24:43,951 Well, you didn't have to come all the way over here. 558 00:24:43,952 --> 00:24:45,951 Oh, of course I did. 559 00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:47,851 Now, what is this about a trip to New York? 560 00:24:47,852 --> 00:24:49,151 In case we go clubbing, should I bring 561 00:24:49,152 --> 00:24:51,084 the black leather or the orange leather? 562 00:24:51,085 --> 00:24:52,785 David! Hi! 563 00:24:52,786 --> 00:24:53,586 Hi, Emmett. 564 00:24:53,587 --> 00:24:55,085 Well, hi. 565 00:24:55,086 --> 00:24:56,952 Um, hey! You should come with us. 566 00:24:56,953 --> 00:24:58,886 Because after spending all night in Brian's Jeep, 567 00:24:58,887 --> 00:25:00,953 boy, we are all going to need... 568 00:25:00,954 --> 00:25:03,654 Adjustments. 569 00:25:06,421 --> 00:25:08,754 Justin ran away, so... 570 00:25:08,755 --> 00:25:10,821 You've decided to form a search party? 571 00:25:10,822 --> 00:25:13,121 Mm-hm. Emmett and Ted and me. 572 00:25:13,122 --> 00:25:14,154 And Brian. 573 00:25:14,155 --> 00:25:16,555 "The boys"! 574 00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:18,955 Weren't we supposed to go to Melanie and Lindsay's? 575 00:25:18,956 --> 00:25:21,656 Oh, shit. I'm... I'm sorry. I forgot. 576 00:25:21,657 --> 00:25:23,556 Ah, don't worry about it. 577 00:25:23,557 --> 00:25:25,057 You do what you have to do. 578 00:25:27,691 --> 00:25:29,957 Thanks. 579 00:25:29,958 --> 00:25:33,657 And, uh, I want you to know, 580 00:25:33,658 --> 00:25:36,758 I've been thinking seriously... 581 00:25:36,759 --> 00:25:39,658 Very seriously, about... 582 00:25:39,659 --> 00:25:42,791 You know. 583 00:25:42,792 --> 00:25:44,659 Living together. 584 00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:46,059 Right. 585 00:25:46,060 --> 00:25:47,126 You have a safe trip. 586 00:25:47,127 --> 00:25:48,927 - Wear your seat belt. - Okay. 587 00:25:50,827 --> 00:25:52,860 Buh-bye, Emmett. 588 00:25:52,861 --> 00:25:57,161 I know, it's going to be a bumpy night. 589 00:26:13,630 --> 00:26:14,729 ♪ dah-dip, yeah ♪ 590 00:26:14,730 --> 00:26:17,396 Would you please shut the fuck up? 591 00:26:17,397 --> 00:26:18,363 No, not you, ma'am. 592 00:26:18,364 --> 00:26:20,464 Stop being such a party poop! 593 00:26:20,465 --> 00:26:21,763 This is not a party. 594 00:26:21,764 --> 00:26:23,363 Still, a song and a snack 595 00:26:23,364 --> 00:26:25,465 can turn any moment into an occasion. 596 00:26:28,399 --> 00:26:30,631 So there haven't been any more charges on my Visa 597 00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:33,431 except for the flight to New York? 598 00:26:33,432 --> 00:26:37,699 And you'll let me know if there are? 599 00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:39,499 All right, let's sing some Barbra. 600 00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:40,899 No, I can't do Barbra 601 00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:42,933 unless you've got the lyrics on the monitor. 602 00:26:43,701 --> 00:26:45,767 - Reow! - Bitch... 603 00:26:45,768 --> 00:26:49,067 If one of you starts to sing People... 604 00:26:49,068 --> 00:26:50,900 I will leave you on the side of the road 605 00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:52,067 without stopping. 606 00:26:52,068 --> 00:26:53,668 He's not kidding. 607 00:26:53,669 --> 00:26:56,334 All right, well, we've already told all our big dick stories. 608 00:26:56,335 --> 00:26:57,835 Discussed anti-gay legislation. 609 00:26:57,836 --> 00:26:59,668 What we think of Bette's new series. 610 00:26:59,669 --> 00:27:01,968 And let's see, we've been on the road... 611 00:27:01,969 --> 00:27:03,669 Oh, 27 minutes. 612 00:27:03,670 --> 00:27:04,969 Only five hours left to kill. 613 00:27:04,970 --> 00:27:07,836 And if anyone can kill them, you can. 614 00:27:07,837 --> 00:27:10,369 Ha ha ha. 615 00:27:10,370 --> 00:27:13,436 God, we must be out of our fucking minds to do this. 616 00:27:13,437 --> 00:27:15,504 You wouldn't be saying that if we were going after 617 00:27:15,505 --> 00:27:16,804 the hottest guy in the world. 618 00:27:16,805 --> 00:27:20,337 Yeah, that's because he'd be going after me. 619 00:27:20,338 --> 00:27:23,338 All right, so how do we find little boy lost? 620 00:27:23,339 --> 00:27:25,071 Mysterious Marilyn said he'd be in Chelsea. 621 00:27:25,072 --> 00:27:28,538 You don't really believe that shit? 622 00:27:28,539 --> 00:27:31,406 You know, Brian, sometimes you have to put your faith 623 00:27:31,407 --> 00:27:32,673 in a higher power 624 00:27:32,674 --> 00:27:35,073 and trust that everything's going to work out. 625 00:27:36,007 --> 00:27:36,807 Jesus! 626 00:27:42,475 --> 00:27:44,507 Running off to New York. 627 00:27:44,508 --> 00:27:47,274 There's an original excuse to cancel at the last minute. 628 00:27:47,275 --> 00:27:49,374 It's probably a good thing Michael's along. 629 00:27:49,375 --> 00:27:51,808 Just to make sure Brian doesn't get distracted. 630 00:27:51,809 --> 00:27:53,775 If... if you'd rather I not stay... 631 00:27:53,776 --> 00:27:56,409 Don't be silly! So it'll be just the three of us. 632 00:27:56,410 --> 00:27:57,943 Not exactly what I had planned. 633 00:27:57,944 --> 00:27:59,442 And we all know who to thank 634 00:27:59,443 --> 00:28:01,643 for things not working out the way we planned. 635 00:28:01,644 --> 00:28:03,443 - Hon, would you check... - On Gus? Yeah. 636 00:28:03,444 --> 00:28:05,710 - And if you could on... - Check on dinner? No problem. 637 00:28:05,711 --> 00:28:06,977 David, would you like some wine? 638 00:28:06,978 --> 00:28:08,311 - Merlot? Or some... - Chardonnay? 639 00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:10,578 - Uh, chardonnay. - Ooh, and be sure to use the... 640 00:28:10,579 --> 00:28:13,578 Wine goblets your aunt Esther gave us. 641 00:28:13,579 --> 00:28:14,611 You two are amazing. 642 00:28:14,612 --> 00:28:15,845 We are? 643 00:28:15,846 --> 00:28:17,744 You're like synchronized swimmers. 644 00:28:17,745 --> 00:28:19,779 The way you think together, move together, 645 00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:20,979 you even finish each other's sentences. 646 00:28:20,980 --> 00:28:22,645 Well, I guess that's what happens after six years. 647 00:28:22,646 --> 00:28:24,645 - You just... - Become one. 648 00:28:25,813 --> 00:28:27,913 I'd like that for Michael and me. 649 00:28:27,914 --> 00:28:30,413 - It'll happen. - Oh, you two are a perfect fit. 650 00:28:30,414 --> 00:28:32,280 I don't know. 651 00:28:32,281 --> 00:28:35,581 I might have pushed too hard. 652 00:28:35,582 --> 00:28:37,547 That might be why he ran away. 653 00:28:37,548 --> 00:28:38,948 - Ah, he'll be back. - Oh, and believe me, 654 00:28:38,949 --> 00:28:41,948 after a night with Emmett, Ted, and Brian, 655 00:28:41,949 --> 00:28:44,515 you'll be looking damn good. 656 00:28:45,983 --> 00:28:46,950 Cheers to that. 657 00:28:46,951 --> 00:28:48,316 - Cheers. - Cheers. 658 00:28:48,317 --> 00:28:49,816 Fuck! 659 00:28:49,817 --> 00:28:53,283 Mysterious Marilyn was right. 660 00:28:53,284 --> 00:28:55,417 Hooray for her. 661 00:28:55,418 --> 00:28:58,217 - So now what do we do? - Well, I... 662 00:28:58,218 --> 00:29:01,251 Could always display a well-turned ankle. 663 00:29:01,252 --> 00:29:02,617 Yeah, a lot of good that'll do us. 664 00:29:02,618 --> 00:29:05,251 Or... 665 00:29:05,252 --> 00:29:06,518 I can change a tire. 666 00:29:08,385 --> 00:29:09,918 You cannot change a tire. 667 00:29:09,919 --> 00:29:11,751 I know you all just think of me 668 00:29:11,752 --> 00:29:13,486 as this Nelly retail-queen, 669 00:29:13,487 --> 00:29:15,486 but it just so happens, I make it my business 670 00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:16,919 to know anything that has to do 671 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:17,854 with lug nuts. 672 00:29:17,855 --> 00:29:19,286 Of course. 673 00:29:19,287 --> 00:29:22,253 Now, like any good magician, 674 00:29:22,254 --> 00:29:24,386 I'll need an assistant from the audience. 675 00:29:24,387 --> 00:29:27,788 You! The lovely brunette in the front row. 676 00:29:27,789 --> 00:29:29,489 Come with me. 677 00:29:31,755 --> 00:29:33,255 This... 678 00:29:38,823 --> 00:29:40,389 I only have one, 679 00:29:40,390 --> 00:29:41,890 for you and me. 680 00:29:46,324 --> 00:29:47,890 Excuse me. 681 00:29:47,891 --> 00:29:49,390 Okay. 682 00:29:56,725 --> 00:29:57,925 It's strong. 683 00:30:03,393 --> 00:30:05,227 Told you. 684 00:30:08,460 --> 00:30:10,726 So here we are. 685 00:30:10,727 --> 00:30:12,793 Brian and Mikey's Excellent Adventure. 686 00:30:14,194 --> 00:30:16,393 Here we go. 687 00:30:16,394 --> 00:30:18,894 Ah this sure isn't how I was planning to spend my evening. 688 00:30:18,895 --> 00:30:20,794 Yeah? How did you think you'd be spending it? 689 00:30:20,795 --> 00:30:25,495 Going with David to dinner at Lindsay and Melanie's. 690 00:30:25,896 --> 00:30:27,295 Aww. 691 00:30:27,296 --> 00:30:29,195 Dinner parties. 692 00:30:29,196 --> 00:30:30,462 Couples! 693 00:30:30,463 --> 00:30:31,796 Christ, Mikey. 694 00:30:31,797 --> 00:30:33,796 Is this the life I raised you to live? 695 00:30:33,797 --> 00:30:35,662 Whatever happened to your sense of fun 696 00:30:35,663 --> 00:30:37,463 and your thirst for adventure? 697 00:30:37,464 --> 00:30:39,730 I'm here with you, aren't I? 698 00:30:39,731 --> 00:30:43,263 Stranded on the turnpike. 699 00:30:44,764 --> 00:30:46,764 You know, that's what I'm going to miss the most. 700 00:30:46,765 --> 00:30:50,132 Times like this, when it's just you and me. 701 00:30:53,433 --> 00:30:55,900 But now you have the doc. 702 00:30:58,167 --> 00:31:00,266 So how big is his dick, anyway? 703 00:31:00,267 --> 00:31:02,533 I'm not going to tell you! 704 00:31:02,534 --> 00:31:05,300 When he comes, does he run to the shower or does he... 705 00:31:05,301 --> 00:31:07,267 Lay there and hold you tight, 706 00:31:07,268 --> 00:31:09,367 all wet and sticky? 707 00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:11,234 He lays there and holds me, 708 00:31:11,235 --> 00:31:14,168 all wet and sticky. 709 00:31:14,169 --> 00:31:16,768 I guess he does love you. 710 00:31:16,769 --> 00:31:19,769 I don't know. I guess. 711 00:31:22,403 --> 00:31:24,870 I'm glad you came with me. 712 00:31:24,871 --> 00:31:26,703 We've always been there for each other. 713 00:31:26,704 --> 00:31:28,669 You more than me. 714 00:31:28,670 --> 00:31:29,769 That's not true. 715 00:31:29,770 --> 00:31:31,370 Yeah, it is. 716 00:31:31,371 --> 00:31:33,737 I know I can be shitty to you sometimes. 717 00:31:33,738 --> 00:31:36,404 I know that. 718 00:31:36,405 --> 00:31:38,605 But it's only because I know that you'll always love me, 719 00:31:38,606 --> 00:31:42,238 no matter what. 720 00:31:42,239 --> 00:31:43,371 I do. 721 00:31:46,406 --> 00:31:48,639 I do too. 722 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,639 Always have. 723 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:54,740 I always will. 724 00:31:54,741 --> 00:31:57,374 I don't know how I could have made it without you. 725 00:32:10,142 --> 00:32:11,675 All right, ladies. 726 00:32:11,676 --> 00:32:13,776 We're ready to roll. 727 00:32:17,210 --> 00:32:19,376 Now! 728 00:32:19,377 --> 00:32:21,643 David's great, isn't he? 729 00:32:21,644 --> 00:32:24,377 Oh, Michael's damn lucky! 730 00:32:24,378 --> 00:32:26,211 Let's just hope he doesn't blow it. 731 00:32:28,245 --> 00:32:30,512 What's this? 732 00:32:32,279 --> 00:32:36,812 "This card entitles the bearer to one year off. 733 00:32:38,113 --> 00:32:42,579 To take care of the world's most beautiful baby." 734 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,546 I crunched the numbers. 735 00:32:44,547 --> 00:32:45,646 But how? 736 00:32:45,647 --> 00:32:48,347 It doesn't matter how. 737 00:32:48,348 --> 00:32:50,681 - I made it work. - Ohh... 738 00:32:53,781 --> 00:32:55,414 I don't know what to say! 739 00:32:55,415 --> 00:32:58,115 You don't have to say anything. 740 00:33:12,251 --> 00:33:14,084 Mm. 741 00:33:29,419 --> 00:33:30,685 I'm sorry, I... 742 00:33:30,686 --> 00:33:32,286 No, it's okay, it's okay. 743 00:33:32,287 --> 00:33:34,553 - I have to. - I know. 744 00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:36,253 I know. 745 00:34:09,591 --> 00:34:10,724 Oh, my God, have you ever seen 746 00:34:10,725 --> 00:34:12,525 so many cute boys in your life? 747 00:34:12,526 --> 00:34:14,491 Jeez, it's like a porn-star convention. 748 00:34:14,492 --> 00:34:16,958 You're supposed to be looking for Justin. 749 00:34:16,959 --> 00:34:18,292 No, Ma, we haven't found him yet. 750 00:34:18,293 --> 00:34:20,259 - We'll keep looking. - Okay. 751 00:34:20,260 --> 00:34:21,392 Okay, yeah. I need a break. 752 00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:22,559 What say we hit a homo bar? 753 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,526 All right, uh, how about "The Lure"? 754 00:34:25,527 --> 00:34:27,393 "Leather, uniform, rubber"? 755 00:34:27,394 --> 00:34:29,260 Nah. No rubber. I have a problem with rubber. 756 00:34:29,261 --> 00:34:32,426 - It accentuates my hips. - Fan-fucking-tastic. 757 00:34:32,427 --> 00:34:33,927 Good news? 758 00:34:33,928 --> 00:34:37,261 Someone's been using my credit card. 759 00:34:38,362 --> 00:34:40,327 I'll meet you guys back here in an hour. 760 00:34:50,430 --> 00:34:52,129 Seems to me we're headed the wrong direction. 761 00:34:52,130 --> 00:34:53,162 Yeah! Something... 762 00:34:53,163 --> 00:34:54,396 I think something's telling me 763 00:34:54,397 --> 00:34:56,696 that this thing's in this direction. 764 00:35:17,467 --> 00:35:18,933 You wanna come in? 765 00:35:18,934 --> 00:35:20,367 Ah, why not? 766 00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:21,468 Since I'm paying for it. 767 00:35:24,668 --> 00:35:26,433 New York's amazing. 768 00:35:26,434 --> 00:35:28,934 I went clubbing last night till 6:00 in the morning. 769 00:35:28,935 --> 00:35:31,234 And the guys, whew! The guys are... 770 00:35:31,235 --> 00:35:33,668 Did you really think you were going to get away with this? 771 00:35:33,669 --> 00:35:35,202 I figured, sooner or later, 772 00:35:35,203 --> 00:35:37,369 someone would come and arrest me. 773 00:35:37,370 --> 00:35:41,536 But I was hoping that you would find me first. 774 00:35:41,537 --> 00:35:45,036 Well, congratulations. 775 00:35:45,037 --> 00:35:47,637 Now pack your shit, because we're going back. 776 00:35:47,638 --> 00:35:50,204 Back? 777 00:35:50,205 --> 00:35:51,637 Back to what? 778 00:35:51,638 --> 00:35:53,970 My parents don't want me. 779 00:35:53,971 --> 00:35:55,871 You... Don't want me. 780 00:35:55,872 --> 00:35:58,071 My life's a fucking mess, Brian. 781 00:35:58,072 --> 00:36:00,106 Yeah, well, whose isn't? 782 00:36:02,006 --> 00:36:04,238 But we're going to straighten that out. 783 00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:05,372 First thing when we get back, 784 00:36:05,373 --> 00:36:06,505 we're going to find you a place to live. 785 00:36:06,506 --> 00:36:07,473 Why can't I live with you? 786 00:36:07,474 --> 00:36:09,139 Because my place is only big enough 787 00:36:09,140 --> 00:36:11,874 for one person... That's me. 788 00:36:17,441 --> 00:36:19,841 Now listen up. 789 00:36:19,842 --> 00:36:23,841 We're going back to glorious Pittsburgh, 790 00:36:23,842 --> 00:36:25,542 you're going back to school. 791 00:36:25,543 --> 00:36:27,241 You're going to turn 18, 792 00:36:27,242 --> 00:36:29,209 and you're going to pay back every cent 793 00:36:29,210 --> 00:36:31,543 you charged on my credit card. 794 00:36:31,544 --> 00:36:33,509 By the way, 795 00:36:33,510 --> 00:36:36,376 I didn't go out clubbing. 796 00:36:36,377 --> 00:36:40,176 I didn't even leave the room. 797 00:36:40,177 --> 00:36:43,343 Well, don't worry, I won't tell anyone. 798 00:36:43,344 --> 00:36:44,810 You look like shit. 799 00:36:44,811 --> 00:36:46,311 You should go take a shower. 800 00:36:46,312 --> 00:36:47,545 Yeah, probably should. 801 00:36:47,546 --> 00:36:49,244 I must stink. 802 00:36:49,245 --> 00:36:51,879 Yeah. 803 00:36:54,046 --> 00:36:56,813 Sounds like you had a rough night. 804 00:37:02,314 --> 00:37:04,347 You need help? 805 00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:30,191 Mmm. 806 00:39:11,463 --> 00:39:13,729 What do you mean he's staying here? 807 00:39:13,730 --> 00:39:15,863 I talked to his mom. She's all for it. 808 00:39:15,864 --> 00:39:17,230 Well, I'm not! 809 00:39:17,231 --> 00:39:19,430 Well, what do you care? You're moving in with David. 810 00:39:19,431 --> 00:39:20,830 It's still my room. 811 00:39:20,831 --> 00:39:22,797 It's still got some of my things in it. 812 00:39:22,798 --> 00:39:25,364 Well, maybe you'd like to move some of your things out. 813 00:39:25,365 --> 00:39:29,065 Sunshine's gonna need the closet space. 814 00:39:29,066 --> 00:39:31,832 This is all your fault. Thanks a fucking lot. 815 00:39:31,833 --> 00:39:32,899 Wait a minute. 816 00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:34,933 Brian finally did something right. 817 00:39:34,934 --> 00:39:36,666 Why, Deb, 818 00:39:36,667 --> 00:39:39,099 that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. 819 00:39:39,100 --> 00:39:41,233 - Don't press your luck. - Don't worry. 820 00:39:41,234 --> 00:39:43,366 I promise I'll take care of it. 821 00:39:43,367 --> 00:39:48,200 You better, 'cause I'm going to be doing unscheduled checks. 822 00:39:48,201 --> 00:39:50,101 And if anything's missing... 823 00:39:50,102 --> 00:39:51,968 Or damaged... 824 00:39:51,969 --> 00:39:54,368 Why don't you two boys run along 825 00:39:54,369 --> 00:39:56,669 and let me explain the rules of the house 826 00:39:56,670 --> 00:39:59,303 to the newest member of our family? 827 00:39:59,304 --> 00:40:01,237 More rules? 828 00:40:05,337 --> 00:40:06,770 Starting with: 829 00:40:06,771 --> 00:40:10,404 No bringing tricks home after midnight. 830 00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:20,238 Hey! The traveler returns! 831 00:40:28,407 --> 00:40:30,106 So how was New York? 832 00:40:30,107 --> 00:40:32,240 I... I really didn't get to see much of it. 833 00:40:32,241 --> 00:40:34,040 Well, in a way, I'm glad. 834 00:40:34,041 --> 00:40:37,373 Gives me the chance to show you myself. 835 00:40:37,374 --> 00:40:39,674 Oh, so, um... 836 00:40:39,675 --> 00:40:44,075 - Can I, uh... - Get me something to eat? 837 00:40:44,076 --> 00:40:47,108 You just finished my sentence. 838 00:40:47,109 --> 00:40:50,709 - I'm sorry. - No, no. That's nice. 839 00:40:50,710 --> 00:40:52,077 - Nice. - Oh. 840 00:40:55,810 --> 00:40:57,143 Go. 841 00:40:57,144 --> 00:40:59,843 I've been thinking a lot about... 842 00:40:59,844 --> 00:41:02,244 Moving in. Mm-hm. 843 00:41:02,245 --> 00:41:05,044 I was thinking about it practically the entire time. 844 00:41:06,178 --> 00:41:08,778 And? 845 00:41:08,779 --> 00:41:11,811 And... 846 00:41:11,812 --> 00:41:16,279 I love you. 847 00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,213 I really do. 848 00:41:22,581 --> 00:41:23,714 But... 849 00:41:28,682 --> 00:41:31,647 The answer is no? 850 00:41:31,648 --> 00:41:34,981 I'm just not ready. 851 00:41:34,982 --> 00:41:37,315 Oh, I... I understand. 852 00:41:37,316 --> 00:41:40,915 You do? 853 00:41:40,916 --> 00:41:44,950 All the excitement and the adventure of... 854 00:41:44,951 --> 00:41:46,749 Taking off in the middle of the night 855 00:41:46,750 --> 00:41:50,083 with your friends to New York. 856 00:41:50,084 --> 00:41:52,684 Being with Brian. 857 00:41:52,685 --> 00:41:54,951 The memories. The history. 858 00:41:54,952 --> 00:41:58,951 I can't compete with that. 859 00:41:58,952 --> 00:42:01,885 No, all I have to offer is me. 860 00:42:01,886 --> 00:42:04,052 Us. 861 00:42:04,053 --> 00:42:06,053 This home. 862 00:42:10,587 --> 00:42:15,186 Can't we still be boyfriends? 863 00:42:15,187 --> 00:42:17,720 We could be. 864 00:42:17,721 --> 00:42:19,188 We... 865 00:42:22,755 --> 00:42:27,555 But I... I don't want a boyfriend, Michael. 866 00:42:27,556 --> 00:42:30,656 I want a partner. 867 00:43:07,961 --> 00:43:09,627 Morning, beautiful. 868 00:43:09,628 --> 00:43:14,061 I didn't want to wake you. Come on in. 869 00:43:15,162 --> 00:43:16,561 So what are we going to do 870 00:43:16,562 --> 00:43:18,995 on this beautiful Sunday morning? 871 00:43:18,996 --> 00:43:21,728 Well, thought we'd make breakfast, 872 00:43:21,729 --> 00:43:23,995 and then we'd read the paper, 873 00:43:23,996 --> 00:43:28,163 and then we'd spend the rest of the day in bed. 874 00:43:28,164 --> 00:43:30,030 Ah. 875 00:43:37,664 --> 00:43:39,932 Just what I had in mind. 876 00:43:44,826 --> 00:43:49,826 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 60164

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.