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This programme contains strong
language from the outset,
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00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:04,560
graphic adult content, nudity and
scenes of a sexual nature.
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00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:07,080
Have you ever had one of those
weird, distressing thoughts
4
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:09,240
where you're just like, fuck!
Where did that come from?
5
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:11,345
Like something totally
inappropriate or shocking,
like imagining your boss naked.Mmm!
6
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:14,760
Or punching an old
person in the street.
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00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:18,120
Or, er,
jumping off a train platform.
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TRAIN HORN
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00:00:21,745 --> 00:00:21,745
Most people can easily dismiss them,
because you know deep down
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00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:27,120
that you don't really want
to do those things.
11
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:29,280
But what happens when the part
of your brain that allows you to
12
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:33,480
dismiss those thoughts isn't
working properly?
13
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:36,000
What happens if you get those
thoughts so regularly
14
00:00:39,025 --> 00:00:39,025
that they start to become a real
challenge to your sense of self
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00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:44,040
that you just don't know who
you are any more?
16
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:55,080
# I won't take all
that they hand me down... #
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00:00:58,440 --> 00:00:58,440
It's a bad day if it ends with you
freezing your tits off in a lay-by.
18
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:02,640
As of two hours ago,
my life is fucked - literally.
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00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:07,320
The kind of fucked you cannot
come back from.
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00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:11,760
# Cos I'm not like everybody else
21
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:15,360
# I'm not like everybody else
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00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:19,200
# I'm not like everybody else
23
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:23,280
# I'm not like everybody else
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00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:27,000
# And I don't want to ball about
like everybody else
25
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:30,600
# And I don't want to live my life
like everybody else... #
26
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:33,120
That might look like a smile,
but it's total delusion.
27
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:36,840
Oh, I've already paid him, Mum.
28
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:39,120
# Cos I'm not like everybody else. #
29
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:43,560
Take that, come on, for the cab.
No, Mum, I don't want your money.
30
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:46,080
No, Marnie, don't be silly, come on.
Please, Mum...
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00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:48,360
Oh, great, like I gave you
a lap dance!
32
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:50,760
Is there a function going on?
33
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:52,560
# And I don't want to live my life
like everybody else
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00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:54,720
# And I don't want to live my life
like everybody else. #
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00:01:58,705 --> 00:01:58,705
ALL:Surprise!
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00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:02,280
Did you do this?!Come on!
37
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:05,280
And our wee besom!
38
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:06,960
How did you get everyone's numbers?!
39
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:08,640
# Like everybody else
40
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:10,080
# Like everybody else
41
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:12,120
# Like everybody else
42
00:02:14,065 --> 00:02:14,065
# Like everybody else
43
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:15,840
# Like everybody else
44
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:17,905
# Like everybody else
45
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:19,560
# Like everybody else. #
46
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:22,680
Hello.
47
00:02:26,065 --> 00:02:26,065
Sorry, it's the speech now.
SHE LAUGHS
48
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:33,720
Speech!
49
00:02:42,545 --> 00:02:42,545
I wish my parents weren't so
popular, then there wouldn't be
50
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:44,880
so many of you!
LAUGHTER
51
00:02:49,585 --> 00:02:49,585
Um, I thought I'd say a few words
for Mum and Dad's
52
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:52,200
special anniversary.
53
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:54,720
And they didn't have any other kids,
so it had to be me.
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00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:57,000
LAUGHTER
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00:02:58,560 --> 00:02:58,560
On the plus side, being the only
child, I do get all the inheritance.
56
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:02,640
LAUGHTER
57
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:07,680
Thanks for having that vasectomy,
Dad!
58
00:03:09,745 --> 00:03:09,745
LAUGHTER
59
00:03:14,065 --> 00:03:14,065
Shout out to my pal Helen for
helping me pull this off,
60
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:18,480
and to Gran for paying for it.
61
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:21,960
Still got her credit card,
she forgot.
62
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:24,000
LAUGHTER
63
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:25,320
No, I'm only joking. I just kept it.
64
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:28,800
No.
SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
65
00:03:34,225 --> 00:03:34,225
What can I say about Mum and Dad?
66
00:03:37,745 --> 00:03:37,745
They just go together.
67
00:03:39,505 --> 00:03:39,505
They come as a pair.
They're like...
68
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:42,600
..trousers or scissors
or spectacles.
69
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:47,185
The world wouldn't make sense if
they weren't together.
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00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:50,160
You inspire me.
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00:03:51,505 --> 00:03:51,505
ALL:Ahhhh!
72
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:55,080
And, on the third
Friday of the month,
73
00:03:57,425 --> 00:03:57,425
let's just say you do not want to
be in the bedroom next to theirs!
74
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:01,800
AUDIENCE MURMURS
75
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:03,600
Massive third wheel!
76
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:05,640
Shit...
77
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:07,080
Um...
78
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:09,600
Sorry!
79
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:17,160
MARNIE LAUGHS
80
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:20,880
SHE SIGHS
81
00:04:28,145 --> 00:04:28,145
It's a bit shit for them,
cos I still live at home.
82
00:04:33,745 --> 00:04:33,745
I'm one of those people who moves
home, er, in with their parents
83
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:36,720
after uni, um,
84
00:04:38,705 --> 00:04:38,705
and works their summer job till
something better comes along,
85
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:41,640
and 13 months later still hasn't
done anything with her English
degree.
86
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:46,080
Except for write this...
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00:04:49,105 --> 00:04:49,105
..collection of words.
88
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:54,720
Errr...
89
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:02,400
Uh... Stop...
90
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:05,640
Er...
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00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:07,200
Um...
92
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:11,880
Fuck, er... Sh...
93
00:05:13,585 --> 00:05:13,585
Sorry. And my hands are sweating.
94
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:16,080
Is it hot in here? It's, it's hot.
95
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:18,385
It's hot!
96
00:05:34,705 --> 00:05:34,705
THEY ALL LAUGH
97
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:45,600
SHE GASPS
98
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:48,960
Ah!
99
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:51,120
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
100
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:53,160
SCREAMS: Stop it!
101
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:56,640
BANG
102
00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:58,080
Welcome to the fucked-up
mystery that is my life.
103
00:06:07,025 --> 00:06:07,025
Sorry if that made you a bit
sick in your mouth.
104
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:09,720
I've thought about a lot
of awful things,
105
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:12,305
but that shitshow was
the mother of them all.
106
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:24,120
# Loneliness... #
107
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:28,200
When I was 14, I started having
relentless graphic thoughts
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00:06:31,985 --> 00:06:31,985
about sex.
109
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:33,120
Not just sex-sex, fucked-up-sex.
110
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:35,760
Sex-that-gets-you-arrested-sex.
111
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:37,920
And 3,723 days later -
112
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:41,640
it hasn't stopped.
113
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:43,440
# The sun ain't gonna shine any more
114
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:47,640
# The moon ain't gonna rise
in the sky
115
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:51,840
# The tears are always
clouding your eyes... #
116
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:55,920
It's like The Sixth Sense,
but I don't see dead people.
117
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:00,960
I see naked ones.
118
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:05,280
I've turned everyone and everything
you can imagine into filth,
119
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:09,360
except my family.
120
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:12,480
Until today.
121
00:07:17,105 --> 00:07:17,105
# There's nothing to lose
but no more... #
122
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:20,400
Most people move to
London to seek their fortune.
123
00:07:23,665 --> 00:07:23,665
I'll settle for some fucking
answers.
124
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:26,400
# The sun ain't gonna shine any more
125
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:30,600
# The moon ain't gonna rise
in the sky
126
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:35,040
# The tears are always
clouding your eyes... #
127
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:38,225
TRAFFIC ROARS
128
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:40,200
SIRENS
129
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:45,960
# The sun ain't gonna shine
any more... #
130
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:49,320
PHONE VIBRATES
131
00:07:58,920 --> 00:07:58,920
I'm doing them a favour. Nobody
wants a pervert for a daughter -
132
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:02,400
they can't stick THAT in their
Christmas newsletter.
133
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:14,880
LOUD HORN
134
00:08:27,665 --> 00:08:27,665
That's not just a random nipple.
135
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:30,120
That's 781 minutes of thinking what
I could do to it.
136
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:34,440
Lick it,
137
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:35,880
suck it,
138
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:37,320
flick it...
139
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:38,880
..milk it?
140
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:49,800
DISTANT SIRENS
141
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:55,680
WHISPERS: Fuck's sake.
142
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:02,880
HELEN GASPS ON VIDEO
143
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:27,120
PHONE RINGS
144
00:09:30,385 --> 00:09:30,385
Hi.For fuck's sake, Marn.
145
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:32,305
Your mum said you're in fucking
London! What the fuck?!
146
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:35,040
You can't just fuck off to London
and expect me to do nothing.
147
00:09:38,065 --> 00:09:38,065
I was SO worried.
148
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:45,000
I...
149
00:09:46,225 --> 00:09:46,225
I just keep...
150
00:09:48,305 --> 00:09:48,305
..thinking about all this stuff.
What stuff?
151
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:51,600
You always say that, but you never
say what.I can't...Shh!
152
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:56,305
Do you want me to come down?
153
00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:57,840
Cos I will,
I've got holidays to take.
154
00:09:59,880 --> 00:09:59,880
No, I don't want anyone with me.
155
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:01,680
Well, what am I supposed to do if
I'm up here and you're down there?
156
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:04,560
CRYING! I don't know what's wrong
with me!
157
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:06,480
You're just a bit...anxious,
aren't you?
158
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:10,440
That's what it is, it's anxiety.
159
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:12,480
Everyone's got it.
160
00:10:14,065 --> 00:10:14,065
God, you're so mainstream!
THEY LAUGH
161
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:17,880
Speak to someone. Please?
162
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:22,705
I'm really worried about you, Marn.
163
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:25,320
S-s-so am I.
164
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:26,880
SHE SOBS
165
00:10:50,065 --> 00:10:50,065
Marnie Macauley, room 5.
166
00:10:53,585 --> 00:10:53,585
You won't shock me.
I've heard some things.
167
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:58,225
Er... I just worry all the time.
168
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:02,040
About sex stuff, mainly.
169
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:04,680
And what triggers these worries?
170
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:09,360
Anyone with genitalia.
171
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:10,865
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
172
00:11:12,145 --> 00:11:12,145
Who has an anxiety attack
in the M&S lingerie department
173
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:15,240
or while watching Lorraine?
174
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:17,400
Oh, um...
175
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:20,400
So, what is it about those
situations that...distresses you?
176
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:26,400
Well, um...
177
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:28,080
With Lorraine, er, I was watching it
178
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:31,320
and I noticed her shoes, cos she
always has nice shoes on,
179
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:34,680
and I noticed the pointy heels,
and...
180
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:39,840
..then I thought about where she
could put one,
181
00:11:42,865 --> 00:11:42,865
like in her vagina.
182
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:48,000
And then I was like,
why did I think that?
183
00:11:51,185 --> 00:11:51,185
Do I want to do that to Lorraine?
184
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:53,760
So then I tried to unthink it,
185
00:11:55,345 --> 00:11:55,345
but it just made me think
about it more,
186
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:57,480
and then it was an hour later and I
was still thinking about it, and...
187
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:00,600
..I couldn't breathe.
That's why it distressed me.
188
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:03,720
So you mostly think about women?
Not just women, but...
189
00:12:06,545 --> 00:12:06,545
You have explicit sexual thoughts
about them and it upsets you?
190
00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:11,665
Is it possible you could be gay?
191
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:16,560
Is being gay so hard to imagine?
192
00:12:18,385 --> 00:12:18,385
SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
193
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:20,640
I haven't been with a woman.
194
00:12:25,265 --> 00:12:25,265
I've spent so much time trying to
decide if I want to,
195
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:29,040
and I moved home to the Borders
after uni so I couldn't,
196
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:31,800
cos it's home,
and you can't sleep with a woman
197
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:34,560
cos she probably goes to Zumba
with your mum,
198
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:36,240
and you can't go to the doctor
199
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:38,160
because sometimes he comes over to
play penny whistle with your dad.
200
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:41,640
Not a euphemism,
it actually happens.
201
00:12:45,905 --> 00:12:45,905
You're not at home any more.
202
00:13:03,264 --> 00:13:03,264
DOG BARKS
203
00:13:14,784 --> 00:13:14,784
PARTY POPPER SNAPS
Sorry!
204
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:16,129
I had it left over from a work
party, and I couldn't resist.
205
00:13:18,744 --> 00:13:18,744
Cos Marnie's in the house! Woo! Woo!
Woo! Come in! Come in, come in.
206
00:13:23,784 --> 00:13:23,784
Thanks so much for letting me stay.
Thanks for wanting to!
207
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:27,264
You look amazing, by the way.
Oh, thanks.
208
00:13:29,904 --> 00:13:29,904
So do you.
209
00:13:32,664 --> 00:13:32,664
So, what have you been up to?
210
00:13:34,849 --> 00:13:34,849
I've not seen you since school,
except on Instagram.
211
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:37,584
And that one time
at the Co-op at Christmas.
212
00:13:40,464 --> 00:13:40,464
Erm, just...uni.
And moved home for a bit.
213
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:43,824
Worked at the golf club.
214
00:13:45,744 --> 00:13:45,744
Yeah, then what?
215
00:13:47,809 --> 00:13:47,809
Erm...cut to now!
216
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:50,664
Oh!
217
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:51,864
I thought you would have
written a book by now,
218
00:13:54,049 --> 00:13:54,049
or at least have a podcast, or...
219
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:55,584
That's why I'm here!
220
00:13:58,824 --> 00:13:58,824
Thanks again for letting me stay!
221
00:14:00,504 --> 00:14:00,504
It's fine,
it'll be just like school.
222
00:14:02,664 --> 00:14:02,664
Except you'll have to talk to me,
and your friends won't victimise me!
223
00:14:06,504 --> 00:14:06,504
SHE LAUGHS UNCERTAINLY
224
00:14:09,624 --> 00:14:09,624
So, erm, where's your spare room?
225
00:14:17,544 --> 00:14:17,544
SHE LAUGHS
Funny!
226
00:14:19,224 --> 00:14:19,224
Yeah, well, I still need to
clear it out.
227
00:14:22,704 --> 00:14:22,704
Oh, you're serious?
228
00:14:24,144 --> 00:14:24,144
Well, I did say it was a little
bijou, but, it's London, you know.
229
00:14:27,264 --> 00:14:27,264
But it's private, it's got a door.
Look, you can close it.
230
00:14:31,344 --> 00:14:31,344
Thanks. It's just going to be
for a bit while I get myself sorted.
231
00:14:35,544 --> 00:14:35,544
So what made you come to London?
232
00:14:39,384 --> 00:14:39,384
Just fancied a change.
Oh, yeah, me too.
233
00:14:42,864 --> 00:14:42,864
I'm learning shiatsu at the moment,
234
00:14:44,664 --> 00:14:44,664
cos I work in corporate for
Pets For All, and it's really dry.
235
00:14:47,064 --> 00:14:47,064
I can't even remember the last time
I touched an animal.
236
00:14:50,064 --> 00:14:50,064
So let me know if you want
a massage.Oh, I'm good, thanks.
237
00:14:53,064 --> 00:14:53,064
Or anything that'll make your stay
more comfortable.
238
00:14:55,224 --> 00:14:55,224
Like a cup of tea, toothpaste,
biscuits, sanitary towel.
239
00:14:59,664 --> 00:14:59,664
Oyster card,
tourist information leaflet.
240
00:15:02,184 --> 00:15:02,184
Whatever you need, just say.
241
00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:04,129
I can get you anything.
242
00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:06,689
Except drugs.
243
00:15:08,929 --> 00:15:08,929
Well, I can get you
cat tranquilisers from work, but...
244
00:15:11,664 --> 00:15:11,664
It's OK, I brought my own.
Oh, did you?
245
00:15:14,209 --> 00:15:14,209
No!
LAUGHS AWKWARDLY
246
00:15:15,984 --> 00:15:15,984
Oh...
No. Erm, thanks, though.
247
00:15:19,649 --> 00:15:19,649
You're a really good friend.
248
00:15:22,224 --> 00:15:22,224
SHE LAUGHS
Yeah, well...
249
00:15:25,944 --> 00:15:25,944
I'm going to go to the shops,
but these are for you!
250
00:15:28,944 --> 00:15:28,944
Thanks!
251
00:15:30,049 --> 00:15:30,049
COCKNEY ACCENT:
Welcome to London, mate!
252
00:15:31,704 --> 00:15:31,704
SHE LAUGHS
253
00:15:39,264 --> 00:15:39,264
It's just a roomful of women.
I've been in loads of them.
254
00:15:42,384 --> 00:15:42,384
Toilets, fitting rooms,
Emily Bronte Society...
255
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:45,744
This'll be just like that.
256
00:15:47,904 --> 00:15:47,904
Except I'm wasted, and I won't have
to discuss Wuthering Heights.
257
00:15:53,304 --> 00:15:53,304
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
258
00:16:09,384 --> 00:16:09,384
Yes?
Can I get a vodka soda, please?
259
00:16:12,384 --> 00:16:12,384
Do you have some ID?
260
00:16:14,064 --> 00:16:14,064
To say if I'm gay?
261
00:16:16,129 --> 00:16:16,129
To say if you're that.
Oh! Sure. Sorry.
262
00:16:24,769 --> 00:16:24,769
Thanks.
263
00:16:33,889 --> 00:16:33,889
I like your top.
264
00:16:36,769 --> 00:16:36,769
WOMAN LAUGHS
265
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:40,129
You can tap here.
266
00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:43,969
Thanks.
267
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:00,144
Can I get you a drink?
268
00:17:02,904 --> 00:17:02,904
Thanks. I'm teetotal till Tuesday.
Why?
269
00:17:09,264 --> 00:17:09,264
For this article I'm writing.
270
00:17:11,424 --> 00:17:11,424
I'm like the Duracell bunny,
and my skin is mint,
271
00:17:14,209 --> 00:17:14,209
but I'm boring as fuck
on a night out.
272
00:17:18,049 --> 00:17:18,049
Especially when your mates
are hammered by half eight.
273
00:17:22,104 --> 00:17:22,104
Are you a writer?
274
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:32,184
Sorry, do you mind?
275
00:17:33,744 --> 00:17:33,744
She's, like,
right there in front of me,
276
00:17:35,544 --> 00:17:35,544
and she thinks I'm
looking down her top.
277
00:17:37,104 --> 00:17:37,104
Which I was,
because that's what I'm like.
278
00:17:41,424 --> 00:17:41,424
So...
279
00:17:43,344 --> 00:17:43,344
..been gay for long?
280
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:44,664
SHE LAUGHS
281
00:17:47,184 --> 00:17:47,184
Who asks that?
282
00:17:49,729 --> 00:17:49,729
Have you just come out or something?
283
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:51,504
Well, I've opened the door!
284
00:17:54,529 --> 00:17:54,529
I don't want any drama.
285
00:17:56,544 --> 00:17:56,544
Me neither.
Erm, I just want...pussy.
286
00:18:03,984 --> 00:18:03,984
So who do you write for?
287
00:18:06,384 --> 00:18:06,384
Ethel.
288
00:18:08,544 --> 00:18:08,544
It's this online magazine.
Wow!
289
00:18:12,769 --> 00:18:12,769
I wish I could write professionally.
290
00:18:14,849 --> 00:18:14,849
So what have you been doing?
291
00:18:18,384 --> 00:18:18,384
I've just been living my life.
292
00:18:19,969 --> 00:18:19,969
And then, suddenly, I was like,
"I hate my life".
293
00:18:23,329 --> 00:18:23,329
So, the other day I was like,
"Fuck it, I don't have to do this".
294
00:18:29,904 --> 00:18:29,904
I packed a bag,
got on a bus in Scotland,
295
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:32,544
and got off a bus in London.
296
00:18:35,809 --> 00:18:35,809
The other day?
297
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:37,249
Well, yeah. Yesterday, I was like,
"I have to do this now!"
298
00:18:41,089 --> 00:18:41,089
THEY LAUGH
299
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:51,864
Well,
we're always looking for interns,
300
00:18:53,904 --> 00:18:53,904
so you should send us your CV.
301
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:55,969
Yeah? Cool!
302
00:18:58,344 --> 00:18:58,344
Thanks.Obviously, that will be
redacted if your moves are shite.
303
00:19:08,609 --> 00:19:08,609
# I feel depressed, I feel so bad
304
00:19:14,209 --> 00:19:14,209
# Cos you're the best girl
that I've ever had
305
00:19:20,449 --> 00:19:20,449
# I can't get your love,
I can't get a fraction
306
00:19:26,424 --> 00:19:26,424
# Uh-oh, little girl,
psychotic reaction
307
00:19:31,224 --> 00:19:31,224
# And it feels like this! #
308
00:19:48,864 --> 00:19:48,864
I'm going to the loo.All right.
309
00:20:41,767 --> 00:20:41,767
VOICEOVER: My hand's so sweaty.
310
00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:42,967
Must be like holding a flipper.
311
00:20:45,127 --> 00:20:45,127
Is that desire or anxiety?
312
00:20:50,647 --> 00:20:50,647
Here's a feeling. I'm pissed off!
313
00:20:53,312 --> 00:20:53,312
Oh, hey. You all right?Yeah, not
bad, yourself?
314
00:20:57,127 --> 00:20:57,127
How's the art stuff going?Yeah.
315
00:20:59,167 --> 00:20:59,167
Just...yeah.
316
00:21:04,207 --> 00:21:04,207
Right, after you.
317
00:21:12,247 --> 00:21:12,247
So, what was it this time?
Did you not like her drawings?
318
00:21:15,072 --> 00:21:15,072
Doesn't matter, it's finished.
319
00:21:18,272 --> 00:21:18,272
BIKE CLATTERS LOUDLY
320
00:21:26,647 --> 00:21:26,647
Hi, I'm Marnie.
321
00:21:28,352 --> 00:21:28,352
Joe.
322
00:21:30,727 --> 00:21:30,727
Babe, it's not a meeting.
323
00:21:32,887 --> 00:21:32,887
Yeah, sorry, that was really formal.
324
00:21:34,687 --> 00:21:34,687
Anyway, I should let you two...
325
00:21:36,007 --> 00:21:36,007
It's OK, you don't have to...
326
00:21:37,207 --> 00:21:37,207
It's fine, he's going to go upstairs
and listen to James Blake on repeat.
327
00:21:40,567 --> 00:21:40,567
It's what he usually does.
328
00:21:46,207 --> 00:21:46,207
So...which one's yours?
329
00:21:51,607 --> 00:21:51,607
Um, it's that one.
330
00:21:57,727 --> 00:21:57,727
Right.
331
00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:09,632
Just make yourself at home.
332
00:22:11,767 --> 00:22:11,767
It's like Pinterest in here.
333
00:22:13,952 --> 00:22:13,952
When Nanna died, I got loads
of her furniture.Cool.
334
00:22:21,127 --> 00:22:21,127
Not that your gran died, but that
you got free stuff out of her.
335
00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:31,392
And loads of perfume.
I smell like a dead old lady.
336
00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:35,647
No, I'm being serious.
Go on, smell.
337
00:22:41,472 --> 00:22:41,472
Do you have anything to drink?
Like booze or something?
338
00:22:45,792 --> 00:22:45,792
No, I binned it all when
I went teetotal, didn't I?
339
00:22:53,647 --> 00:22:53,647
So...what shall we do?
340
00:23:06,432 --> 00:23:06,432
I'm just going to go to the loo,
again. I drank a lot.
341
00:23:09,967 --> 00:23:09,967
It's upstairs.
342
00:23:27,127 --> 00:23:27,127
JOE CLEARS THROAT
343
00:23:33,007 --> 00:23:33,007
Amber told me
to make myself at home, and...
344
00:23:37,927 --> 00:23:37,927
When I'm at home, I like to relax
with a nice glass of sherry.
345
00:23:42,847 --> 00:23:42,847
That's sherry vinegar.
346
00:23:47,287 --> 00:23:47,287
I'm realising that now.
I've got some vodka in my room.
347
00:23:53,047 --> 00:23:53,047
Are you bragging or offering?
I'm offering.
348
00:24:01,327 --> 00:24:01,327
Then I'll have some,
with a vinaigrette chaser.
349
00:24:06,912 --> 00:24:06,912
It's OK, you don't have to come.
Yeah. No, I'll wait here.
350
00:24:12,607 --> 00:24:12,607
VOICEOVER: Why did I think that?
Do I want that? What if I did that?
351
00:24:17,887 --> 00:24:17,887
I can't get distracted by cock.
Cocks ruin enough already.
352
00:24:21,487 --> 00:24:21,487
They're not ruining
my first lesbian encounter.
353
00:24:38,287 --> 00:24:38,287
Straight?Well, I'm with Amber,
so...
354
00:24:44,287 --> 00:24:44,287
I've not got any mixers.
355
00:24:48,727 --> 00:24:48,727
Straight's fine.
356
00:25:06,967 --> 00:25:06,967
You all right?
357
00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:11,887
Amber will be wondering where I am.
358
00:25:16,832 --> 00:25:16,832
VOICEOVER: It's like having
sexual FOMO.
359
00:25:19,087 --> 00:25:19,087
Why am I thinking about men
360
00:25:20,527 --> 00:25:20,527
when I should be thinking
about women?
361
00:25:23,552 --> 00:25:23,552
The only way I'll know what
I feel in my body
362
00:25:26,167 --> 00:25:26,167
is if I feel nothing in my head.
363
00:25:32,192 --> 00:25:32,192
On a scale of one to fucked up,
364
00:25:34,207 --> 00:25:34,207
how fucked up would it be
if I drank this?
365
00:25:57,727 --> 00:25:57,727
I think we should have sex.
366
00:25:59,767 --> 00:25:59,767
Whoa, keeno!
367
00:26:03,872 --> 00:26:03,872
Are you OK?
368
00:26:06,367 --> 00:26:06,367
You've had quite a bit to drink.
Yeah, it makes me really horny.
369
00:26:15,127 --> 00:26:15,127
You taste really minty.
370
00:26:20,647 --> 00:26:20,647
We should lie down.Are you sure?
We can just chill.
371
00:26:25,632 --> 00:26:25,632
Shh, Judgy McJudgerson.
372
00:26:45,487 --> 00:26:45,487
I'll do that. It's a lot easier.
They get real tight at the ankles.
373
00:27:01,687 --> 00:27:01,687
It's impossible to do
this in a sexy way!
374
00:27:12,512 --> 00:27:12,512
OK, boss.
375
00:27:16,687 --> 00:27:16,687
Oh, your knickers are off too.
376
00:27:19,447 --> 00:27:19,447
I can put them back on
if it's a problem?
377
00:27:22,327 --> 00:27:22,327
No. It's fine.
378
00:27:33,607 --> 00:27:33,607
# Are you ready?
379
00:27:35,232 --> 00:27:35,232
# Yes, I'm ready
380
00:27:37,807 --> 00:27:37,807
# Are you ready?
381
00:27:39,607 --> 00:27:39,607
# Yes, I'm ready
382
00:27:42,272 --> 00:27:42,272
# I don't even know
how to love you... #
383
00:27:49,927 --> 00:27:49,927
Keep going, that's it.
384
00:27:53,167 --> 00:27:53,167
Oh, yes.
385
00:27:54,967 --> 00:27:54,967
Oh, darling...
386
00:27:56,167 --> 00:27:56,167
Oh!What the fuck?
387
00:28:01,952 --> 00:28:01,952
Fuck. Fuck.
388
00:28:03,607 --> 00:28:03,607
What happened?
389
00:28:08,832 --> 00:28:08,832
I don't think you're my type.
390
00:28:10,687 --> 00:28:10,687
What?
391
00:28:19,447 --> 00:28:19,447
I've never done it
with a girl before.
392
00:28:26,167 --> 00:28:26,167
I didn't know you were that new.
393
00:28:27,727 --> 00:28:27,727
You're practically still
in your wrapping. Christ.
394
00:28:31,087 --> 00:28:31,087
Sorry. I've really got to go now,
bye.
395
00:28:34,687 --> 00:28:34,687
Well, at least let me
get you a taxi or...
396
00:28:36,847 --> 00:28:36,847
DOOR SLAMS
397
00:28:42,247 --> 00:28:42,247
Oh, you fucking twat.
398
00:29:03,727 --> 00:29:03,727
Fucking stop!
399
00:29:05,647 --> 00:29:05,647
I want it to stop.
400
00:29:17,167 --> 00:29:17,167
Shit!Sorry.Oh. You OK? I
got a mixer.
401
00:29:21,487 --> 00:29:21,487
I didn't go out especially.
402
00:29:23,072 --> 00:29:23,072
I was going... Whoa!
403
00:29:25,472 --> 00:29:25,472
Sorry.It's fine, you missed.
You all right?
404
00:29:30,607 --> 00:29:30,607
Yeah...
405
00:29:31,712 --> 00:29:31,712
Let's get this out of the way.
No, it's OK, you don't have to...
406
00:29:36,007 --> 00:29:36,007
SHE VOMITS AGAIN
407
00:29:36,992 --> 00:29:36,992
What did you eat?
408
00:29:43,687 --> 00:29:43,687
I'm disgusting. There's sick
on the street.A fox will eat it.
409
00:29:48,367 --> 00:29:48,367
Now, that's disgusting.
Those people are looking.
410
00:29:52,567 --> 00:29:52,567
It's London.
Nobody gives a shit.
411
00:29:56,047 --> 00:29:56,047
As long as you don't mug them
or talk to them,
412
00:29:58,207 --> 00:29:58,207
you can do what you like.
That's what's so good about it.
413
00:30:00,992 --> 00:30:00,992
Why do you think people come
and live here?
414
00:30:06,752 --> 00:30:06,752
Do you want my number?
415
00:30:08,767 --> 00:30:08,767
Oh, confusing, and forward.
416
00:30:12,127 --> 00:30:12,127
Give me your phone.
417
00:30:17,527 --> 00:30:17,527
You definitely won't remember this.
I will.
418
00:30:21,367 --> 00:30:21,367
I will remember this,
cos it's quite nice.
419
00:30:31,087 --> 00:30:31,087
Will you be OK? You want me
to get you a cab or something?No!
420
00:30:34,927 --> 00:30:34,927
I'm a feminist. If you follow me,
it's harassment, so don't, please.
421
00:30:42,432 --> 00:30:42,432
I'll just watch
until you get round the corner.
422
00:30:47,407 --> 00:30:47,407
Hey, this isn't creepy.
423
00:30:54,367 --> 00:30:54,367
This is creepy.
424
00:31:07,687 --> 00:31:07,687
VOICEOVER: People here don't give a
shit what I do.
425
00:31:11,167 --> 00:31:11,167
What if I sucked off that man?
426
00:31:14,647 --> 00:31:14,647
What if I finger-banged that woman?
427
00:31:16,807 --> 00:31:16,807
What if I wanked on that bollard?
428
00:31:26,592 --> 00:31:26,592
I could do anything and
no one would even notice me.
429
00:31:31,087 --> 00:31:31,087
I'm anonymous, a nobody,
a stranger. I could be anyone.
430
00:31:35,647 --> 00:31:35,647
London doesn't give
a shit what that is.
431
00:31:53,647 --> 00:31:53,647
I am lost in a city of 8 million
people. But I will find myself here.
432
00:32:00,367 --> 00:32:00,367
Even if that does make me sound
like a massive wanker.
433
00:32:03,247 --> 00:32:03,247
Something is wrong with me!
434
00:32:06,272 --> 00:32:06,272
MUSIC: I Could Be Happy
by Altered Images
435
00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:15,392
# I would like to climb
high in a tree
436
00:32:19,087 --> 00:32:19,087
# I could be happy, I could be happy
437
00:32:22,447 --> 00:32:22,447
# Or go to Skye on my holiday
438
00:32:26,047 --> 00:32:26,047
# I could be happy, I could be happy
439
00:32:29,767 --> 00:32:29,767
# Maybe swim a mile down the Nile
440
00:32:33,127 --> 00:32:33,127
# I could be happy, I could be happy
441
00:32:41,287 --> 00:32:41,287
# All of these things I do
442
00:32:44,887 --> 00:32:44,887
# All of these things I do
443
00:32:46,687 --> 00:32:46,687
# To get away from you
444
00:32:51,727 --> 00:32:51,727
# Get away, run away, far away
445
00:32:55,447 --> 00:32:55,447
# How do I
446
00:32:59,552 --> 00:32:59,552
# Get away, run away, far away
447
00:33:02,767 --> 00:33:02,767
# How do I
448
00:33:06,487 --> 00:33:06,487
# Get away, run away, far away
449
00:33:10,112 --> 00:33:10,112
# How do I
450
00:33:14,167 --> 00:33:14,167
# Get away, run away, far away
451
00:33:17,407 --> 00:33:17,407
# How do I... #
452
00:33:21,487 --> 00:33:21,487
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
40147
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