Original subtitles

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I'll believe it when I see it.

Hurry, assholes! The taxis could be here any moment.

What's all that stuff?

Save your energy for all those women.

Which women? -In America.

We'll have a ball there. They have a surplus of women.

They're leaving. About time.

We might miss them. I mean, they didn't hurt anybody.

Didn't hurt anybody? They're riffraff!

They've terrorized us for a year.

They were running naked through the gardens.

And their mother was the worst.

She only ate dog food.

We're happy to be alive. -They had a different philosophy.

A shame the council let them live here.

It's so heavy.

Is grandpa coming too?

Kidding.

Be more careful, stupid bitch!

And you shut up too, piss-ant!

Flodder? Isn't that the terribly anti-social family?

You must be kidding, William. -I'm very serious.

Sjakie, there you are finally! -Sorry, I had a flat tire.

Sjaak, I have a surprise for you.

Did everybody pack everything?

Yes, I'm ready. I look forward to a year in the U of SA.

Kees? -I don't know. We were fine here too.

Sometimes you have to broaden your horizon.

What the hell. -Ma, someone from the TV.

Which TV? -Mrs Flodder?

Yes, you have the pleasure. -Peters from the Breakfast Show.

Can I interview you? -What kind of interview?

How much does it pay? -We don't usually...

200 big ones. -200 guilders?

No, 200 big ones or else no interview.

FLODDER FILE

Here they all are.

What on earth are you doing, William?

We can't send those criminals to America!

I'm protesting strongly against this!

This sounds like discrimination to me. -Come on, Sjakie.

They may be from a lower socio-economic background...

but that doesn't mean they're any less than everybody else.

Was it a hard decision? -I had to think about it for a while.

But they promised to rebuild our house in the meantime.

That's why I said yes.

You抳e been at the center of a political battle for half a year now.

Two council members have had to resign and the council's divided.

Did it have to come to this? -It's not our fault.

We抮e decent people.

You're leaving for America soon.

Get away from there, kid.

Let them do their job, Kees.

How long do you think you'll stay in America?

One year, they said, but it depends if we like it.

They say there's a lot of poverty there.

You must be happy to leave this mess.

Which mess?

If this goes wrong, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.

Come on, it's only for a year.

It'll always be my house.

Is it a good idea to send the Flodders to America?

America's not really their thing.

Weeds can grow anywhere. -If this goes wrong, we're responsible.

The whole exchange program could be at risk.

Nothing will go wrong and you'll make sure of that.

Because you'll go with them. -What, me?

Yes, you. You're a good friend of them.

You can accompany them for a whole year.

Are you ready for the big jump, Mrs Flodder?

Which jump? -Across the ocean, I mean.

I hope were going to fly. -Of course.

You're funny. I didn't mean we're going to jump there.

Come on dipshits, pack that stuff!

Sjakie, old fucker, how are you?

How are you, Johnny?

Fine, you organized us a nice trip.

You're going to do your best there, aren't you?

Of course, we won't bother you.

And we won't bother America either.

Did you know we had to take this? -Over my dead body.

What's he doing?

It's better to get a bigger bus.

Two taxis was plenty.

One taxi will do too. Saves a lot of money.

I'm afraid that's against regulations. I would have liked to take you, but...

so many people and all that luggage.

We're in a hurry. We're late as it is.

See you next year, neighbor.

I got all the passports and visas just in time.

That's good, Sjakie.

Excuse me, madam. -Anything wrong?

What a nice gadget.

NO SMOKING

Thank you.

I feel like a big traveler already.

Hurry, guys. Don抰 keep the pilot waiting.

Need a porter? -Get lost, we'll do it ourselves.

Is that all your luggage?

I think so.

You're too heavy.

Are we nasty now?

Parking tickets?

2600 guilders?

Sjakie!

They're always going for my boy.

I have to frisk you.

Isn't that allowed?

Hello, sir. -I can explain.

Can I frisk you?

No weapons? -No, but you can look for them.

This is the house. -Is it a decent neighborhood?

Don't worry. The neighborhood's first rate.

First what?

First rate. That means class.

The school for the children has a very good reputation too.

This is gonna be fun.

Cut it out, scum!

Excuse me, cigars are not allowed. -What is it to you?

The smoke bothers the other passengers.

Just open a window then.

Give us a drink instead!

ENGLISH IN 5 DAYS

Put some new batteries in that thing.

What?

The batteries are empty. You抮e talking funny.

I thought Americans had really low voices.

And we have to go on a holiday with that idiot.

Can I learn that too? -What?

To speak American.

All you have to know is: No mister, not before we are married.

What does that mean?

That you'll be in a bad mood all year.

Please.

Get lost with those things! -That's no way to talk to a lady.

I burnt my fingers.

My brother had a tragic childhood, madam.

Thank you.

We don't have a lot of room. Can't they make those planes bigger?

Enjoy your meal.

That's looking a lot better!

What's the idea here?

Have you got tickets for Royal Class?

It was a bit cramped for my mother and there were seats available here.

That's why. -We like to travel first rate.

I have to ask you to go back to your seats.

If you're being difficult, I'll hang you out of a window.

Move it!

No problem.

This isn't a toilet, it's the cockpit.

They're just stuffing themselves here.

Shouldn't you be steering? -No, we're using the autopilot.

Wow, so many clouds. -Yes, lots.

Where are Kees and Kees? -They went to the toilet together.

Do they do that in a plane too? -Maybe they really had to go.

I'll get them.

Bring a drink. I'm dehydrating at this altitude.

This is the altimeter. It tells us how high we are.

Impressive that you can remember all that.

Now it's back to manual.

That means by hand.

Can I do it by hand?

No, that's impossible. Flight procedure.

Kees!

Fast service!

How do you feel, Mrs Flodder?

Your first steps in the new world. -What's so new about it?

Looks pretty worn out.

Airports don't do a place justice.

Wait until you see Manhattan.

We'll spend a night in a hotel and continue tomorrow.

Behave, we're in America now!

I'm suffering from really bad jetlag.

I think you've had jetlag all your life.

Be careful, joker!

Yes, and his brother too.

English sounds complicated.

That's not English. More like Hottentot.

Bunch of dirty dresses.

If you wait here, I'll arrange transport.

Good idea, Sjakie. -It had better be a limo, Sjakie!

I'll do my best, Johnny. -Better get two.

I'm so thirsty. -A limousine, not a lemonade.

What a country. I'm starting to feel at home already.

Look, Russian vodka. -Where did you get that?

Kees found it.

What's that? -Looks like caviar.

Let me see.

Smells like rotten fish. -Doesn抰 mean it tastes good, though.

Improve your Russian a bit.

Look, Miss Russia.

Are we in the right country?

Sjakie was quick.

What a beautiful car.

A real limo, right Johnny? -Leave it up to Sjakie.

If you ask me, we can go.

What a beautiful car.

Now what?

Not a bar in sight.

This money looks funny.

Shouldn't we exchange some money? -Yes, I'll ask what a dollar's worth.

I'd like to know that too. -So far it's a very satisfying trip.

What did he want?

He asked if it was cold in Russia. Maybe he has family there.

Where would Sjakie be? -He'll probably have his own limo.

That's Sjakie for you.

Be careful, there's a lot of crime here.

A MacDonald's! -Do they have them here as well?

Hotpot?

Look at those women. -See? A surplus of women.

What do you think, Ma? -Very different from on TV.

As long as the hotel's alright.

As long as the rooms are alright. -It's only for one night.

Nice joint. -What a hotel!

Is that real gold?

Cut it out, Whisky. -Kill!

Poor thing must be hungry.

Not a bad little hotel, is it?

Such crappy little bottles. Plain unhealthy.

Nice.

Come in.

Guys, there's a trolley full of chow here!

Send it in.

A bit closer, James. We can't reach that.

Nice, salmon!

Hey, Karel, are you stuffing yourself?

What time is it then?

No, it's still day here.

We're going into the city. I can really recommend America.

You too, Johnny?

Is the pope Catholic?

Did you find out what a dollar's worth?

A lot to us, just wait.

America's the land of opportunity.

Cheers. -Cheers.

A bit like Amsterdam. -But more people.

Don't talk to her, Kees. It costs lots of money.

How much is 10 dollars? -Not much for the clap.

A bit closer together... good!

What's their problem?

Can you behave? You're not a sissy.

All the streets have numbers.

That's so you can tell them apart.

Here, Wall Street. Sounds good. -Wall Street? What's that?

It's like the red light district. Lots of money's changing hands there.

Could be something for you. Something with shares.

Shares, what are they? -They can make you rich.

You have to buy them when they're low and sell them when they're high.

America's the land of unwanted opportunities.

We have to see one more thing. -What's that, son?

The Statue of Liberty. -What's that?

The symbol of America. That bitch with the book and the torch.

I like statues. Let's see if they're good at them here.

What's that, Johnny?

Now I understand. Sjakie was preparing a surprise party for us.

A party? -Looks very smart.

Tonight? -They'll pick us up in an hour.

Sjakie's always full of surprises.

What kind of party is it? -I don't know. Let's just have a look.

As long as there's something to drink. They fill up the minibar once a day.

I feel like bitterballs. -And satay!

Sjakie must have gotten those. He knows what we like.

Looks very expensive.

They've got style here. -This ain't no stinking socks.

What's he on about, Johnny? -I didn't understand a word.

I thought you spoke English. -This has nothing to do with English.

Not some charity, is it?

What do they want, Johnny? -Must be friends of Sjakie's.

Sjaak speaking. Sjaak. -Sjaak?

Do you know what time it is?

We have some problems here.

Problems? What do you mean?

What? Disappeared?

I've always said you can't trust them.

But maybe something bad happened.

Maybe they've been kidnapped. -Poor kidnappers.

I almost can't hear you.

I said "poor kidnappers".

We have to be prepared for the worst.

I understand. Good that you called me.

I'll contact the embassy and Foreign Affairs.

And if need be, I'll fly to New York.

Don't worry. -Thank you for understanding.

I'll do everything I can here.

I won't let you down.

That's the spirit. Good luck, Sjaak.

Embassy? Foreign Affairs? What's going on?

Nothing. Sjakie lost some luggage.

It all looks weird. Can you eat it?

I don't care. I'm starving.

Don't they have croquettes or something?

Good knife actually.

No, next to Belgium.

What does that guy want, Kees?

Did he touch you? -He wanted to kiss me.

Keep your hands of my sister, dude.

What's this bullshit?

He's a bit weird but he hasn't done anything yet.

Call me if he goes too far.

I've seen enough. Stuck up joint.

I wonder why Sjakie's not here. Could something have happened?

That would be just like him.

Lots of doctors tonight.

I guess Zygorsky isn't here yet. I'll go instead.

Shall we go?

I don't think it's gonna get any better.

Say goodbye to your guy, Kees We're going.

He's not becoming pushy, is he?

Those Americans get into your pants before you know it.

I can look after myself.

Shall we go? I'm done here.

That would be best in your case.

I'll be happy to get to bed. -Same here.

What the hell? -What's wrong, Johnny?

He doesn't want to give us the keys. -How do we get into our rooms then?

They want to kick us out. -Does he have a screw loose?

Shall I hit him on the head?

No violence, Kees. We're decent people.

Dude, I'd like to thank you for the hospitality.

Come on guys, I'm fed up with this joint.

If my entire family wasn't with me, I'd have rearranged the whole place.

And don't you forget it.

I'm very tired. -It's really cold.

It's a good thing we left. It would have ended in a fight.

Shut up!

Wake up, douchebag.

What time is it? -7 o'clock, New York time.

Where's Ma?

Did you sleep well? -Very well.

I like a bit of fresh air.

What shall we do? Sleeping outside's a bit antisocial.

Relax. Porridge doesn't curdle while you're stirring.

I'd like some porridge, actually.

Have you got any money? -No, Sjakie has got all the dollars.

Look.

Wow, sauerkraut and sausage on our first day in New York.

Have you got more sausage? -For you always.

Sauerkraut?

What's that? -Sjakie's suitcase.

I wonder if he'll ever show up. -You'd think he lost us.

He's not a bad guy, but you really have to keep an eye on him.

Look at this, Johnny.

He won't have slept well, last night.

Hey Sjakie, where are you?

We were worried. You抮e not partying, are you?

Where are you? Is everybody alright?

We went to the city and now we're in the park.

I was really worried. Where did you get this number?

It was in your agenda. It was so long, it had to be America.

Although those sex line numbers also get pretty long.

I'll be there right away. Where are you?

Some big park. -Central Park?

Yes, it must be a central park. In a phone booth.

Stay where you are. I'm coming.

Understood. See you soon.

Well? -He's coming. We have to wait.

What a jerk. Why did he leave without saying anything?

Some people just haven't had a decent upbringing.

So he started selling wieners too. But he cut a bit off each one.

And from those bits he made new sausages.

He became a billionaire.

Very smart. -I want to become rich too.

That takes more than laying on your back.

Yes, what can you do? -I can sing.

I thought you were into leaving before the gospel.

I've never heard you sing. -As if you're so smart.

No? Watch me.

If we want, we'll all get rich.

This country's ideal for entrepreneurs like us.

I wonder what's keeping Sjakie. New York's not that big.

I bet the jerk got lost. -We shouldn't have let him come along.

I don't want to sleep in the park again. -I'd like to see the house.

Don't we have anything to drink. I'm bloody thirsty.

No, it's all gone.

What's that?

Sjakie's aftershave. -Give it to me.

Not bad.

What the hell. -Sounds like a fight.

Maybe they got Sjakie.

A bit unfair, don't you think?

Very good, Kees! -A bit of exercise is always good.

How is he?

He's had a good beating.

That's not looking too good.

Very smart.

What's so funny?

He thinks it's funny we were kicked out of the hotel.

What does he want? -He asks if we're coming to his house.

Is that a good idea? There are some weird people here.

What's the use of waiting? Sjakie won't be coming.

Guys, pack it all up!

Where are we? -America.

I'm so thirsty. -Look, a mill!

I thought we were abroad. -They'll make us wear clogs.

Are we having a drink here? I thought he didn't carry any money.

Maybe he has an account here.

This is a nice little hangout.

He's the boss. -He's doing something right.

She's hot!

He wants to ask us a question.

Larry? Nice car.

What is that?

That's a... water tank.

No longer used. Maybe we can fill it with whisky for Ma.

I'm starting to feel at home here.

You get a lot here for 10 dollars!

The meter keeps going. -We can get more than 25 liters.

Gas doesn't cost anything here. It's 3 time more in the Netherlands.

We could make a profit!

When we'll be back to the Netherlands, we'll still get our gas here.

What was that? -Some drunk bum walked into a car.

You have to be careful with those guys. They can dent your car.

Be careful with that car. They'll have to drive back with it.

Of course. -Thank you.

Are the balls ready? -Almost.

We'll show these Americans some good food.

Bitterballs. Typically Dutch.

It stinks of gas here.

She'll always be my daughter.

They have beautiful things here! -And soon we can buy them all.

That nightclub's a gold mine.

I don't want to keep stripping. -No, but we have to start somewhere.

And they don't know women like you. It's also about cultural exchange.

What's with him? -Those are the guys from the park.

Move it, Johnny.

They're following us.

I think we weren't clear in that park. -I don't want to fight again.

No, you still have to work.

They're shooting.

Don't throw out all our grub!

Typical Wall Street crash.

What did I do this time?

Take it easy, Columbo.

Bunch of fuckers! -Motherfucker!

What's this? -What do they want?

They're totally insane. -Don't say a word, Kees.

The American justice system's very different from ours.

Your guy from the party.

What does he want from me? -No idea.

He does have a good limo. -Company car.

I think he has the hots for you.

Kees, take the evening off. -What do you mean?

Have a nice night out. -With him?

He helped us. Spoil him a bit.

I don't want to go out with him. -He's a really nice guy.

Your type of man. Be nice to him.

I'm warning you.

I thought you didn't like that guy.

Never trust a first impression!

He convinced me that his intentions are good.

Don't do anything crazy. She's the boss' wife.

I never do crazy things, do I?

Rosenbaum's really nice but I don't think you want to piss him off.

Don't worry about me, Ma.

How did it go?

That guy can talk! I have no ears left.

What did he say? -I don't understand that English.

He kept talking about his friend who was coming and whether I liked that.

What friend?

An Italian name. Fellatio or something.

I think one guy's enough.

Yes, you don't want his friend on the first date.

So we laid down on the bed. He finally shut up.

Very good. Never go too far on a first date.

What are you doing? -What?

You wouldn't have thought of it. -Of what?

Gas. -Why are you filling that tank with it?

You're so stupid.

Do you know how much petrol costs here?

80 cents per liter, I think. -Yes.

And more than 2 guilders in the Netherlands.

I already told you it's cheaper here. -There's profit in that.

That tank takes 10,000 liters.

If I'll sell that in the Netherlands, I'll be rich.

Kees, that tank's here. -Yes?

Not in the Netherlands. How are you going to take it with you?

As hand luggage on the plane? By mail?

Maybe we can fax it.

You always have to ruin everything.

You can't handle it that it wasn't your idea.

Let him be. If he wants to make a buck...

Sorry, it was a very good idea.

Just not good enough yet.

There are many more ways to get rich here.

This is America!

That doesn't sound bad! -I didn't know she could sing.

Watch the door. I've got to empty my dick.

I'll pass it on to the chef.

But I have to get changed.

What have you been up to? -Nothing, Ma.

Have you got a drink for me? -Cyanide.

There we go again.

Careful, he's gone crazy!

That's enough!

Put those things away before you cause an accident.

As you wish.

Sjakie, old fucker, where have you been?

You abandoned us. -Yes.

I'll explain during the evaluation in the Netherlands.

Netherlands? We were going to stay here for a year.

I'd like to finally see the house. -I'm afraid the plans have changed.

Changed, what do you mean?

The Dutch ambassador, Mr Ruitenbeek.

We've reached an agreement with the American government.

All charges will be dropped and you will be released immediately.

You will, however, have to leave the country right away.

We're being kicked out! -You can't do that.

Let's be realistic. They're dropping all charges.

You could have spent months in jail.

Sure, but so would that beard that they found on top of Kees.

Listen, Mrs Flodder...

Everything that happened has to stay between us.

It's politically sensitive. I understand that.

But they抮e taking a whole year in America away from us.

We don't cause problems and we have very bad memories.

We'd also prefer to fly back in Royal first class.

But with some new clothing. We didn't get a chance to buy any.

New clothing?

Fur coats for Ma and Kees, snake leather boots for me...

Some cigars. -Yes, cigars, some money...

Rolex watches for all of us, so we get to the plane in time...

I think we can solve this.

I thought so too.

I think we have time for a glass of champagne in the VIP room.

I feel like that too.

Come on, Sjakie, before we lose you again.

Gentlemen, it was a pleasure.

GREETINGS FROM NEW YORK

How did you like it, Ma? -You don't really relax on a holiday.

And those Americans... they're a bit rough.

Yes, they'll never be Dutch.

What are you reading, Sjakie? The Playgirl?

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