Original subtitles

One man and his dog went to more a meadow.

One man, three men and a half his dog went to more meadow.

Apples for health, corn for plenty, berries for happiness.

By the rain and the wind and all the seasons, I name thee Scarecrow.

Simple thoughts are named thee and give thee life when prying eyes aren't

watching.

All as much as you please.

The ceremony is postponed.

Eleventy men went to mow, went to mow meadow.

Eleventy men, ninety -two men, six men, forty -three men.

One thing nearly as nice as a cup of tea and a slice

of cake after an odd day's rookscaring.

It's a bottle of milk and a piece of potato pie.

What in the coon? That was

in there, wasn't it? No mistake.

Let's get back to work before he clumsies you. Get back.

done it again, Mr. Cromwell.

Hey, who are you pesky birds?

If he goes on at this rate, there'll be more of us than there is of you.

And then you'll cop it.

Oh, you're an ugly customer, no mistake.

Nearly as ugly as old Wurzel.

Oi!

I'm greeting of you.

Don't you know you're scarecrow greeting yet?

Well, then greet me proper, you dark slumock, else I'll kick the big ovens

of you.

Now then.

One, four, six.

Well,

come on, come on. Stop staring at me. Get over here.

That's it. Down there.

Ready? Here we go.

I'm going to pass on tippity.

On tippity.

Oh, of course, and I will kill.

I will kill.

So what's your name? Star.

Oh, Star. Oh, Star.

That's more like it. Better out nor in, the scarecrow beating it.

Now we can be slushly, slushly.

Now we can be more friendly -like.

My name's Wurzel Gummidge. What's yours?

Cup of tea and a slice of cake, thank you, Wurzel Gummidge. Oh, you daft ass

brush. I meant your name.

Name?

I don't think he's got no name. No name?

I've never heard of anything like it. That's what comes of making scarecrow's

twelfth each of the dozen. He's turning them out so fast, he's forgetting to

finish them off proper.

Yeah, wait a minute. I've got an idea.

How would it be if I gives you a name?

You, Russell Gummidge? Yeah, me.

I may look like a stupid old scarecrow to you, but I know how it's done, you

see. Now, all we need's a trick.

Apples for health.

Corn for plenty.

And raspberries for happiness.

By the wind and the stars and all the elements, I name this cat... Oh, dang, I

shouldn't take it.

Maybe I shouldn't name this cat crow after all. Maybe I better leave it to

someone who knows it better. Oh, your majesty, your omnipotent majesty.

Majesty? Get up, you daft ape, if I ain't a majesty.

Majesty, you broke the twig and said the scarecrow blessing and gave me a name.

Name? Don't you go putting it around that I gave you a name.

But you have, Your Majesty.

Darnation take it. Darnation take it ain't a name. It's a wonderful name,

Majesty. Now I'm a proper walking, talking scarecrow.

Thank you.

Thank you from the bottom of my straw, oh, King of the Scarecrows. King of the

Scarecrows? Who, me?

King of the Scarecrows?

Yes, of it.

King of the Scarecrows.

Why, of course, did you say I was the King of the Scarecrows?

You must be, Your Majesty.

You have magic powers.

Yes,

true enough.

You wait till my Aunt Sally hears about this.

She'll marry me then.

Me, King of the Scarecrows.

You're my queen.

Wait. Dang nation, take it. Who gave you permission to move? Oh, I wasn't

moving, your majesty.

I was just going to kiss your boots.

Oh, see, yeah.

Well, get on with the kissing, then, dang nation, take it. And after you've

that, there's another little job I want you to do for the king of the scarecrow.

I want you to go and get me a cup of tea.

Yes, your majesty.

Oi, leftist one first.

Yes, what do you want? Good morrow, master.

I'm not your master. State your business.

I have brought you a gift, master.

A fine kettle.

Thank you, I have my own kettle.

A boiling pot.

A toasting fork.

A flat iron.

A lamp.

A lucky mascot.

A doll.

Get those things out of my sight. Your honour has a sharp tongue for one who

only wishes to welcome a colleague.

I'm no colleague of yours.

A traveling scarecrow maker.

There are scarecrows and scarecrows. But yours are second to none.

I have been watching some of your scarecrows.

Would that I had a quarter of your powers.

Powers? You have your own powers.

But I have no powers, master.

I know very well you have, and how you use them.

As for mine, they are nothing compared with the crow men of all crow men. Ah,

but they are, master.

I've seen your powers. Seen them? Scarecrows walking, talking in the

Poppycock, where do you claim to have seen my scarecrows walking and talking?

Kenanus Paddock, not very long ago.

Walking, talking, speaking the language that your honor puts into their turnip

heads. Is that a scarecrow's name, master? Mind your own business.

Wuzzlegummage. That's a fine name for a scarecrow.

I shall remember that. You leave my scarecrows alone, do you hear? Ah, but I

don't want your scarecrows, master.

I want your secrets. The only secret I possess is one that you could never

learn. A crock of gold for your secrets. Keep your crock of gold.

A lucky mascot for your palace. No, no.

Here, just for your powers.

That's all I want.

Take it.

Thank you, fellas.

Now,

my friend, I've had enough of you.

old man proper, sir.

It's just as well you ain't here.

Because if you was here, you'd have old Wurzel's head in his stew pot along with

the carrots and the dumplings from what I've done.

So I'll tell you what I'll do, Mr. Crowman, sir.

I'll only be king of the scarecrows for a little bit, and then I'll go back to

being plain old Wurzel.

So don't go telling us you need him, Crowman, sir. Don't go blabbing your

off, will you?

And what took you so long?

A thousand pardons, O King of the Scarecrows. I'll come quicker next time.

you'd better.

Otherwise, I'll have your head for picking Lily.

What is your majesty's pleasure?

A cup of tea and a slice of cake.

That's my pleasure.

So get it fetched and be quick about it. May it please your majesty. Your

majesty's already had eleventy cups of tea and slices of cake this afternoon.

Yeah, and I'll have eleventy more if I want to.

I'll have as many cups of tea and slices of cake as your twiggy hands can carry.

What's the point in being the king of the scarecrows if you can't have all the

cups of tea and slices of cake you want? Yes, your majesty, straight away, your

majesty. Here, if he happens to run into Aunt Sally, you tell her if she wants

to be queen of the scarecrows, she'd better get down here as fast as her

wooden eggs can carry her. Yes, your homie Copeland.

It's only worth being king of the scarecrows.

Now then, where did I check that?

Will you turn and stop?

What are you doing here? Me? What am I... Here, get out of my way. How dare

say that to me? Don't you know who I am? No, I don't know who you are.

Hasn't Wurzelgammage told you? And don't lie to me. I know you've been talking

to him. You were seen.

Oh, I know who you must be now.

Aunt Sally.

Mildew Turnip. Do I look like Aunt Sally? Well, how would I know if I've

even seen him?

What do you keep calling me Mildew Turnip for?

Because Mildew Turnip, Mildew Turnip happens to be your name.

No, it ain't. Yes, it is. No, it ain't. How dare you contradict... I do

apologise, Mildew Turnip. Yes, I beg your pardon. I just remembered the

ceremony was not completed.

You can take it from me. Mildew Turnip is definitely your name. You can take it

from me. My name is Dagnation. Take it.

Dagnation? Take it? What kind of name is that? The name given to me by His

Majesty King Wurzel I, King of the Scarecrows. King of... What are you

about?

No, I don't believe it.

Not even Wurzel. King Wurzel, if you don't mind. Now, if you'll excuse me,

Majesty awaits.

I'll excuse you.

But you, Wurzel, I can't forgive.

Enter.

May it please your majesty, your majesty's grub.

Advance, my majesty's grub, and be etched.

Hey, hey, jam tart.

I haven't had a jam tart since half an hour ago.

Where's me cup of tea, you idle slosh bucket?

I couldn't get you no tea, old king.

So I got you a tin of lemonade instead.

Well, lucky for you, I like lemonade.

So you grumble for a bit whilst I drink to it.

Your wish is my command, old king of the scarecrows.

Can I get this dang thing open?

May I offer my humble assistance, your majesty?

I beg you, I beg you. No, no, it's all right, old king.

It's only an harmless human what's daft in the air.

He's even daft to know what you eat.

He's even daft to know what you say he is, which you ain't. I've been silent.

Yes, your majesty.

Would you care for a jam tart?

There. Now they've got all straw on them.

Shall I pull his act down over his eyes, your majesty?

I think you'd better tell Mildred Turnip who I am.

He keeps calling me that old king, and I keep telling him, my name's Dagnation,

take it? Your name ain't Dagnation, take it, Dagnation, take it.

Your name is Mildew Turnip, if the crow man says it is.

Crow man? Yeah, the crow man.

Yes, it's him.

William, what breath's life into you?

Oh, Mr.

Crow Man, sir, I didn't know what it... I didn't know. I know you didn't know,

Mildew Turnip. Get on your feet. I'd just as soon stay down here and grovel

a bit longer, just to be on the safe side, if it's all the same for you, old

Crow Man.

Because if you are Mr.

Crow Man, old Mr. Crow Man, then that means you might be even higher and

mightier than His Majesty, the King of the Scarecrows here.

Shh! It

makes

no difference, Wurzelgammage. You meddled in matters you do not

You interfered in the sacred process of scarecrow making.

You uttered the scarecrow blessing and filled Mildred Turnip's head with

seditious nonsense.

I am the Crowman, Wurzelgammage.

My authority will not... be usurped. I cannot allow it.

Do you understand what I am saying to you?

Yes, Mr. Crowman.

Do you know the penalty?

Yes, Mr. Crowman.

There can be no appeal?

No, Mr. Crowman.

You will follow me now to my house, Virgil Hedro Gummidge, where you will be

given your last supper.

A cup of tea and a slice of cake, Mr. Crowman.

That is your wish.

Sentence will be carried out at midnight.

Come along.

Right, sir.

I haven't made a very good job of your last supper, Wurzel.

Yes, I know, Mr.

Cromancer.

It's the first time I haven't ate up every crumb of a slice of cake.

I expect it'll be the lastest.

Midnight.

It's almost time.

Have you anything to confess?

Yes.

Yes, well, that's quite enough of that.

Any last words?

Would you give this last slice of cake to my Aunt Sally and look after her,

Honour?

I will keep my eye on her, Virgil.

Right. We can't delay any longer.

Stand.

I can see you there, fellow.

Come out and state your business.

Good evening, master.

What an honor to be in his honor's household.

And this would be Master Cummage?

How do you do, sir? Any friend of Mr. Cromwell's is a friend of mine. He's no

friend of mine, sir. What do you want?

To pay my respects, sir.

And to bring Master Cummage a present.

A present?

That's very kind of you, sir. But I'm afraid a present ain't no good to me.

where I'm going.

Isn't that right, Mr. Crowman, sir?

This one might be.

It would help you.

Here, Martha Gummidge, take it.

Oh, my, my, my.

Don't touch it!

I'm sorry, sir, but I always does what Mr. Crowman tells me.

Oh, Wurzel, I wish you had.

This creature is the traveling scarecrow maker.

Traveling scarecrow maker?

What? Another Crowman, Mr. Crowman, sir? But without his honest power. Don't

believe him, Wurzel.

He has powers, black powers.

But can he breath life into scarecrows like what you does, Mr. Crowmancer?

his fashion, let your acolytes come forward.

What's that?

He's alive, and yet he's not alive.

Correct, Virgil.

They cannot talk. They have no thoughts.

They do not sing, dance or smile.

They can only walk when they have a talisman placed in their hands.

And then they can only walk at dusk.

Cockscrow. They become scarecrows again.

They exist only to carry out this creature's bidding.

They are scarecrow slaves.

Here. Take a talisman and come.

See that, Mr. Clementa? He wanted for me to go with him. I hear him, Worship.

But ain't you going to stop me?

No, Worship.

You are free to go. Come, Master Gummidge.

Take it.

And if I does take it, will I be like them?

Only coming properly alive at dusk.

No thinking, no talking, no smiling, no singing, no loving my Aunt Sally.

To be your scarecrow slave.

No, thank you very much, sir.

I don't think so.

I know that his onanesses have given old Wurzel a bit of stick every now and

then, but after all, it was his omniscient who oppressed me in the first

So I's ready, Mrs. O 'Neill and Crowman.

I's ready for whatever you's got in store for me.

Are you sure, Wurzel? Yes.

Well, I think I'm sure.

You've made a wise choice, Wurzel.

A fool's choice.

Better a fool than a scoundrel.

Time you left. The door's behind you.

We shall meet again.

Good night, Master Crewman.

And good -bye, Wurzel Gummidge.

Now, just make sure they're off the premises, and you, Wurzel, can finish

cake while I put out the bonfire.

Put out the bonfire, Mr. Crowman, sir?

But ain't you going to chuck old Wurzel onto it?

No, Wurzel, I am not.

Tonight you were given a choice between good and evil.

You chose the good and rejected the evil, even though it could have saved

straw.

Good people sometimes end up on bonfires.

Good scarecrows.

Never.

Now you go and finish your cake and then off to bed with you.

Well, I'll be bummed.

Why, for God's sake.

Where's your gummet? What are you doing?

You said for me to go to bed just like that.

Not in my bed or in one of my nightcaps. Get up at once and clear out.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Yes.