Original subtitles

I am so steamed right now that if I were a mirror, you couldn't see yourself.

Zach, what were you thinking?

Well, you see... I don't want to hear it.

Cody, what was going through your mind? It's just... Zip it, mister.

We didn't mean to ruin the wedding.

It's just that we saw they had those many hot dogs we love, and I'm weak. I

help. And they had the three kinds of mustard. The jalapeno Dijon was

Really? I thought it was too spicy. Why are you afraid of flavor? I'm not afraid

of flavor. Guys!

wedding it's not like anyone got hurt i beg to differ i

don't know what hurt more this little bride that jabbed me in

the kidneys or the real one who kicked me in the shin i hope you had your fun

because your life is going to be fun free for the rest of the week you're

grounded might i suggest 20 years on an island with giant boy eating birds

you might

Odd. But you might.

Boys, go to your room.

Yes, ma 'am.

Mr. Mosby, sit down. I'll clean y 'all.

Now, here comes the groom.

and video games to entertain ourselves.

And no baking.

Oh, man.

You heard Mom.

Why don't we just sit here and think about what we have done?

Next time you try to limbo underneath a wedding cake, maybe you'll think twice.

Yay me!

Starring London Tipton!

They can't go. They're being punished.

Well, I need Cody to produce.

Yay me!

Sorry! Stop that!

So, Cody, you're officially unpunished.

London, you can't do that. He's my son.

Oh.

I get it. I get it.

How much do you want for him?

Buy me two.

Okie dokie. I'll take them both.

But I want a deal on the second one.

That's ridiculous, London.

Are we talking cash?

No. No, I'm not selling my son. Oh, fine, I'll rent him.

Mom, I have to be there to produce London's show.

We're up for an internet award.

A golden netty.

What is it, a statue of a guy in his undershirt in front of the computer?

Baby?

I had no idea to win it. I noticed the cheetah girls checking in as the

bridesmaids were chasing us through the lobby.

How did I miss the cheetah girls?

You were being tackled by the flower girl.

You know, for a seven -year -old, she was tough.

She had a mean left hook.

Anyway, to be named producer of the year, I have to produce.

See the connection?

Why don't you connect your butts to those chairs?

and I've informed the hotel staff to be on the lookout.

So if either of you leave this room, I will know.

We still need to get her a hug.

put you in my will.

Put on the phone. You said that. I lied.

Look, I just needed a way to get you up here.

What's wrong with Maddie? Can you come up here?

Oh, yeah.

Sorry. Anyway,

I'm putting you in charge of my show.

Yay me.

Starring London.

I thought Cody was your producer. He got grounded by his producer.

So would you produce?

Yeah.

great segment, he could win the Golden Netty. Ooh, that would look good on my

college application.

You know what's going to look good on my college application?

A check for the new library.

Okay, to win that award, we're going to need someone famous. Someone huge.

Someone no one has ever gotten before.

I know!

Bigfoot!

London, Bigfoot is a legend.

That's why he'd make such a great guest.

No, no, no. I mean, he's a mythical creature.

A figment of the imagination?

A biological impossibility.

Just find a huge pair of Italian loafers.

He'll do it.

What are you doing?

You can make your toes look like little tiny people.

This one's name is Pinky, and this one's name is Mr. Zimmelman.

Yeah? Well, maybe Mr.

Zimmelman... and find a way for me to get the cheetah girls without leaving

suite, which is a grounding violation.

You sicken me.

And Mr.

Z.

Can't leave the suite.

Good point.

So I hear Chris Brown is staying on this floor.

If you tell me what room he's in, I'll give you $20.

I'm in this room.

Thanks.

Um, can I have some soap?

Uh, here you go.

Thanks for keeping seeing me.

You're, you're, you're... Filling a draft.

I'm gonna go inside.

Oh, wait, wait.

I'm producing a web show called Yay Me starring London Tipton. We'd be honored

to have... you as a guest yay me i love that show starring

don't tell anybody i did

And I must say, thank you so much for signing those autographs for my niece.

Oh, no problem. And tell little Marion we said hi.

I will.

And I must say, it is such an honor having the cheetah girls here at the

I liked your cheetah.

Now

that

was odd.

No, that was downright scary.

This is great. All I have to do is get them on London's show and that golden

netty is mine.

executive producer of Yay Me, starring London Tipton. Oh, I love that show!

You're the goofy kid London makes doosily stuff on.

I'm his brother.

Anyway, how would you ladies feel about making a guest appearance on the show?

Sounds good to me.

Great. Show up at the penthouse suite tomorrow at 3 o 'clock. We'll be there,

tiny dancer.

I have great news about the show. Me too.

Maddie's taking your place until you get out of the joint.

She got Chris Brown to be a guest.

She did?

Yep. She's a much better producer than you.

But no, she's not.

I got fired.

You can kiss that golden nightie goodbye.

What about the cheetah girls?

Well, if London doesn't want them, I'll take them.

You know where all the guests wait before the show?

I know what it is. I just didn't know we had one. Where is it?

Can I come on in?

So sorry about that.

Can I offer you a refreshment?

Oh, no, I'm good. It was a cheese plate by the shoes.

Great. Just make yourself comfortable.

Do you know what questions you're going to ask?

Yes.

Maddie, why are you so happy even though you're poor?

Money doesn't buy happiness, okay?

Yes, it does.

Here.

See?

I was wrong.

What, you sure you don't want any cheap Charlie's pretzels?

What happened, Mom?

They didn't have the large size?

Couldn't fit it in the trunk.

rehearsal because i wanted to spend the day home with you guys you don't trust

us not since you started walking

the recording we made on an endless loop.

Excellent.

Zach, do you have any nines?

Nope. Go fish.

Do you have any twos? Nope. Go fish.

Do you have any jokers? All right, take them out and let's start over.

Zach?

Producer Madeline Margaret Genevieve Miranda Catherine Fitzpatrick.

living in the vast forest of the great northwest i live in a loft in new york

interesting interesting do you have trouble finding shoes with such

big feet only with size 11 find it those are the questions for bigfoot

bigfoot on the show oh no no no no no we devoted the entire show just to you hi

we're here to be the guy

The girl that did tell me?

I guess I didn't tell me either.

So sorry we're late. Someone got a press -on fingernail caught in her extension.

Think about it.

It's amazing that these things can still hold us up.

Well, chalk it up to good old American craftsmanship.

That golden netty. If anyone's going to win that award, it's me.

I got Chris Brown.

Chris, have a seat.

I'm the producer, and what I say goes.

Sorry, Chris. Girls, take a seat on the couch. No, no, no. You were the

producer. I'm the producer now.

better producer.

I got three celebrity guests. Oh, well, I could do the Uncle Jackie.

It's called Aunt Jackie. Okay, not now, Chris.

Let's settle this with a dance -off. You, do the Aunt Jackie. You, do

cheetalicious. Why don't you show them some of my dances?

Okay.

Hotel too quiet now that the boys are on lockdown?

Well, that is actually why I came up.

I have often said that you are a terrible mother. You have?

Mostly to other people.

But I must admit, this time you have really laid down the law.

Thank you, Mr. Musby.

I know it's hard to remember when you're picking cake out of your ears, but they

really are good kids.

Nope, no fish.

Those lousy little weasels!

They've stuck out, haven't they?

have any jokers ah all right take do you have any idea what those little weasels

might be well zach anywhere that there's food or girls cody was upset about not

being able to produce london's web show what do they think they're

doing i believe that's the aunt jackie but see i love chris brown i have to get

his autograph for my niece

She loves the way he does the thing where you push him back the fucking end.

You're good. Uh, Carrie.

Wow. This has turned into a great show.

I know.

I guess we could share the golden eddy. Well, okay.

But my name goes first.

Uh, mine.

Oh.

Boys, I am so disappointed in you two. You deliberately disobeyed me.

And broke my vent.

Uh, just a heads up, Mom. You're yelling at us on an international broadcast.

Oh, really?

I didn't realize.

I don't care!

I am so sick of this constant cycle of breaking the rules, getting grounded,

sneaking out, getting grounded, breaking the rules.

this time by not grounding us oh dude oh that is it you are

beyond grounded the next time you see sunlight oh actually no you're never

see sunlight again because by the time your punishment is over the sun will

burnt out collapsed into a black hole and the last remnants of mankind will be

living on a rusty little spaceship as the cold silence of space slowly drives

back i think she's halfway there

with you. Please don't grab us. We have a concert tonight. We're playing at

the... Well, it looks like we're out of time. Oh, you said it. March.

I'm just going to get Chris Brown's autograph on my... March!

One of Tipton's really great.

Everybody sing!

One of Tipton's really great. Really great.

Really great. One of Tipton's really great. And it's Thursday after the cake.

Witches love! Witches love!

trying to tell you again how sorry we are yeah really sorry thank you sweetie

next all right you're clean well yeah of course he's

clean he bathes every 20 minutes no laughing in the big house uh do i get a

meal yes i'm cooking it aren't i being punished enough

Neither.

They loved Ranting Mom.

It was the top download of the week.

I was the top download of the week? Yeah.

And they have all these cool remixes where lightning bolts come out of your

and smoke comes out of your ears. Shut up!

Wait a minute. If you're here, then who's producing Yay Me?

Lennon's producing it herself.

She got another cool celebrity guest.

So, how does it feel to be a hip -hop sensation?

Questions for Chris Brown.

Sorry, I guess I put my big foot in my mouth.

Anyway, let's plug your new book.

The Great Villas of Tuscany.

Sounds fascinating, but let's talk hair.

Have you tried conditioner?

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