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1
00:01:11,701 --> 00:01:13,180
To the left.
2
00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:19,053
Breathe.
3
00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:24,572
Open your chest.
4
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,179
Again.
5
00:01:44,379 --> 00:01:46,336
- Here you go, boss.
- Thanks.
6
00:01:58,058 --> 00:01:59,334
- Hi.
- I couldn't get a sitter.
7
00:01:59,459 --> 00:02:01,494
It's okay. Go get a mat.
8
00:02:02,819 --> 00:02:06,255
Hi. Hi. Hi.
You wanna do yoga?
9
00:02:08,698 --> 00:02:10,768
A thousand dollars for dirt?
10
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,777
Since when does dirt
cost a thousand dollars?
11
00:02:13,898 --> 00:02:15,377
"Dirt cheap" is an expression,
Mrs Griffith.
12
00:02:15,498 --> 00:02:17,648
It doesn't apply to a city
built on a desert.
13
00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:24,246
Here you go.
You sit right there.
14
00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:36,094
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
15
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,647
Hey, where do you think
you're going?
16
00:03:31,774 --> 00:03:34,573
Mama was queen of the mambo
Papa was king of the Congo
17
00:03:34,695 --> 00:03:37,652
Deep down in the jungle
I started bangin' my first bongo
18
00:03:37,774 --> 00:03:39,253
- Every monkey like..
- Hello
19
00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:42,287
- He's really doing it.
- Who's doing what?
20
00:03:42,414 --> 00:03:45,326
Kevin. He's leaving me.
21
00:03:45,454 --> 00:03:49,130
- Where are you?
- I'm cowering behind a flowerpot...
22
00:03:49,255 --> 00:03:50,811
in my courtyard.
23
00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:54,563
- How do I stop him?
- Don't, don't, don't stop him.
Just let him go, Abbie.
24
00:03:54,694 --> 00:03:57,810
- My hands are shaking.
- Listen, I thought you were
supposed to be a yoga teacher.
25
00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,766
Just pull yourself up by your chakras
and do exactly what I say.
26
00:04:00,893 --> 00:04:03,407
Now, in my opinion, the best defence
is a good pretence...
27
00:04:03,533 --> 00:04:05,286
so just pretend you're going out.
28
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,802
Just get all dressed up
in your Sunday best and leave.
29
00:04:07,934 --> 00:04:10,765
- And then what?
- Rush over to my house
and tell me all about it.
30
00:04:14,893 --> 00:04:17,532
- Did I come at a bad time?
- Oh, no, I'm used to it, Kevin.
31
00:04:17,653 --> 00:04:22,169
- You always come before I'm ready.
- I'll come back
for the rest of my stuff later.
32
00:04:22,292 --> 00:04:25,568
No, let's just get this over with.
Holler if you need any help.
33
00:04:37,572 --> 00:04:40,803
- It's not gonna work this time.
- What's not gonna work?
34
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:42,444
Your fantastic body.
35
00:04:43,771 --> 00:04:45,728
Then you won't mind
doing up my dress.
36
00:05:04,651 --> 00:05:07,289
- You don't have to stop.
- Yes, I do.
37
00:05:08,451 --> 00:05:10,566
If I don't,
it'll start all over again...
38
00:05:10,690 --> 00:05:12,646
and then it'll end
all over again.
39
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:21,284
Don't you think there's a chance
we can still work this out?
40
00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:24,129
Look, it's not you, okay? It's me.
I mean, you're.. you're.. you're great.
41
00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,479
You know, you're.. you're smart,
you're.. you're.. you're beautiful...
42
00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:28,281
you're a good cook
and you are a great lay.
43
00:05:28,409 --> 00:05:31,049
I'm just.. I'm just not ready,
all right? I.. I'm.. I'm not there yet.
44
00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:34,480
- Well, where is "there," Kevin?
- Commitment-wise. You're
way too much for me right now.
45
00:05:34,608 --> 00:05:36,123
Wait a minute.
46
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:39,685
Are you saying that if I had
less to offer you, you'd have
more of a future together?
47
00:05:39,808 --> 00:05:41,685
Okay. You want the truth?
48
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,765
I.. I wanna date
less complicated women.
49
00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:46,402
- What?
- I wanna come home
and we'd go out to dinner...
50
00:05:46,528 --> 00:05:49,680
and people come over and talk to me,
and she smiles and she nods, okay?
51
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,481
And then we go home
and we do it...
52
00:05:51,609 --> 00:05:53,564
and she doesn't instruct me
like an air traffic controller.
53
00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,918
- I do not instruct you.
- And in the morning, she understands...
54
00:05:56,048 --> 00:06:00,723
that she's got to leave quickly,
so I can get on with the rest of my day
and I don't have to think about it.
55
00:06:00,848 --> 00:06:02,405
Okay? That's what I want
right now. Simplicity.
56
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:06,601
No, what you want is a bimbo,
and that's exactly what you deserve.
57
00:06:06,728 --> 00:06:10,960
- Robert was so right about you.
- Do you think I give a shit what
that faggot thinks about me?
58
00:06:11,088 --> 00:06:13,476
Wait a minute. Kevin.
59
00:06:14,368 --> 00:06:17,165
- Please don't leave me like this.
- Look, I don't love you.
60
00:06:18,448 --> 00:06:20,438
It's over.
61
00:06:31,566 --> 00:06:33,921
They say that falling in love..
62
00:06:34,047 --> 00:06:36,196
I am the only one
who's seen both.
63
00:06:36,326 --> 00:06:37,760
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
64
00:06:37,885 --> 00:06:42,005
Ethel is and always will be
the definitive Annie...
65
00:06:42,127 --> 00:06:45,959
and that bottle-blonde upstart cannot
hold a six-shooter to Merman.
66
00:06:46,085 --> 00:06:47,723
It's true. True!
67
00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:50,758
- Okay, so, uh, one heart.
- Are you bidding? Thank you. Pass.
68
00:06:50,885 --> 00:06:55,118
- Four clubs.
- Four diamonds, and I
don't mean rhinestones.
69
00:06:55,247 --> 00:06:59,842
Oh, good. Robert's arrived.
Now we can settle this Annie Get
Your Gun controversy once and for all.
70
00:06:59,966 --> 00:07:03,197
- Robert, Merman or Hutton? Who reigns?
- I have no idea, you guys.
71
00:07:03,326 --> 00:07:05,394
I'm afraid I flunked
on gay history.
72
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,516
- Pity, Robbie, pity.
- Take a tutorial.
73
00:07:07,645 --> 00:07:10,238
- Silly boys.
- Let's move on, shall we? I pass.
74
00:07:13,125 --> 00:07:14,683
Come on.
75
00:07:15,445 --> 00:07:17,321
I told you there'd be tears
before bedtime.
76
00:07:17,445 --> 00:07:19,878
- Another two years down the drain.
- Listen, Abbie.
77
00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:22,838
You settled for less, you got less.
That's it. That's the end of the story.
78
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:26,273
Full stop. Now, if I were you,
and I practically am...
79
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:30,716
I'd turn my little red wagon
around and I'd get off
that dead-end street pronto.
80
00:07:30,844 --> 00:07:33,597
I feel like Kevin was my last chance
for a normal life.
81
00:07:34,804 --> 00:07:37,840
- Now you're really scaring me.
- Robert, look at me.
82
00:07:37,963 --> 00:07:41,240
- I'm not 24 any more.
- You're not even 34 any more. So what?
83
00:07:41,363 --> 00:07:44,196
Maybe I'd like to have
a family at some point...
84
00:07:44,323 --> 00:07:45,642
before it's too late.
85
00:07:45,763 --> 00:07:48,835
Abbie, I think you should sort things
out with your own wacky family...
86
00:07:48,962 --> 00:07:52,080
before you think about creating
a dysfunctional carbon copy
of your own.
87
00:07:52,202 --> 00:07:55,673
-Oh, thank you. I knew you'd understand.
-If you want to have a kid,
just go ahead and have one.
88
00:07:55,802 --> 00:07:58,521
- With what man?
- You don't need to have a man
to have a child.
89
00:07:58,642 --> 00:07:59,996
This is the 21st century.
90
00:08:00,122 --> 00:08:02,716
Just go out and buy yourself
some nice, frozen Ivy League sperm...
91
00:08:02,842 --> 00:08:05,436
swish it around in a test tube
and bottoms up.
92
00:08:05,562 --> 00:08:07,519
I don't wanna have
a baby that way.
93
00:08:08,282 --> 00:08:10,238
Well, then go to China and buy one.
94
00:08:12,123 --> 00:08:14,273
I wanna have a baby
with someone I love...
95
00:08:14,402 --> 00:08:18,440
and I'm never gonna meet anybody,
and pretty soon it's just gonna be
another thing I didn't do.
96
00:08:18,562 --> 00:08:20,598
Listen, darling, if this evening's
gonna turn into a pity party...
97
00:08:20,722 --> 00:08:23,520
I'm gonna go up to the big house
and sing Annie Get Your Gun
with the others.
98
00:08:23,642 --> 00:08:25,598
Can't I just be sad?
99
00:08:26,721 --> 00:08:28,677
Can't you just humour me?
100
00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:33,112
Oh, all right.
101
00:08:36,841 --> 00:08:38,798
Well, actually, not all right.
102
00:08:38,921 --> 00:08:43,073
I can't commiserate with you. Not about
breaking up with that asshole Kevin.
103
00:08:43,201 --> 00:08:46,398
It just makes me too angry.
Abbie...
104
00:08:46,522 --> 00:08:48,909
you are the most beautiful woman
I know.
105
00:08:50,881 --> 00:08:52,951
And I think more highly of you
than you do of yourself.
106
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,794
- What is it with straight guys in L.A.?
- There aren't any.
107
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,588
I can't imagine any man letting you
slip through his fingers. Really.
108
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,990
You're the only woman in the world
that I would like to...
109
00:09:07,319 --> 00:09:09,231
be.
110
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,315
- Ow!
- Thanks.
111
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,311
Anyway, let's drink to never
having to see that loser again...
112
00:09:15,439 --> 00:09:17,192
or talk about him!
113
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:18,912
I have to.
114
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,758
Might as well just go to the studio now
and get it over with.
115
00:09:21,879 --> 00:09:23,153
Why?
116
00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:25,350
Because he still
has my house keys.
117
00:09:25,479 --> 00:09:28,915
Are you going to sacrifice your last
shred of self-respect for a set of keys?
118
00:09:30,639 --> 00:09:33,072
- I think so.
- That is tragic.
119
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:36,554
This is how much I care.
I'll handle this.
120
00:09:42,558 --> 00:09:43,877
This here.
121
00:09:45,398 --> 00:09:48,913
- Turn the hi-hats down.
- This is radio all day. Clubs.
122
00:09:49,037 --> 00:09:52,029
- Good stuff. I hear a single.
- Keep the bass
bumpin' like that, though.
123
00:09:53,158 --> 00:09:55,034
Get the bass goin'.
124
00:09:57,678 --> 00:09:59,315
- Keep the bottle head up.
- More bass. Put more bass in.
125
00:09:59,437 --> 00:10:02,475
Hear that? Make you wanna grow
a big-ass Afro, huh?
126
00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:05,868
- Hi, hi.
- What the..
127
00:10:05,997 --> 00:10:07,225
Stop!
128
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:08,870
Robert, what the hell
are you doing here?
129
00:10:08,997 --> 00:10:11,226
I haven't come here to argue.
I just want the keys.
130
00:10:11,356 --> 00:10:14,076
You know what I'm talking about.
The house keys. Hand 'em over!
131
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,506
- I don't have your keys.
- No more excuses, poopsie.
132
00:10:16,637 --> 00:10:18,149
Poopsie?
133
00:10:18,276 --> 00:10:20,029
I haven't got time for the pain.
134
00:10:20,156 --> 00:10:22,033
Hey, Kev, look like
your bitch need a shave.
135
00:10:22,157 --> 00:10:24,465
- Actually, I wax.
- He's not my bitch, okay?
136
00:10:24,596 --> 00:10:27,952
- So what you sayin'? You the bitch, Kev?
- I'm not anybody's bitch, all right?
137
00:10:28,076 --> 00:10:30,430
- Abbie put you up to this, didn't she?
- Oh, A-Abbie.. Abbie.
138
00:10:30,555 --> 00:10:33,468
Is that what you're calling me
this month to your chocolate-covered
peanut gallery?
139
00:10:33,597 --> 00:10:36,110
- Yo Mama!
- This is precisely why...
140
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,827
I'm leaving him, everyone.
141
00:10:37,956 --> 00:10:40,310
This double life
is tearing my roots apart.
142
00:10:40,435 --> 00:10:43,393
Just give me the keys, please,
to Abbie's house.
143
00:10:43,515 --> 00:10:47,986
- Yeah, give this punk the keys, Kev.
- You left a few things at home.
144
00:10:48,116 --> 00:10:49,673
- Toothbrush. Ha!
- A toothbrush?
145
00:10:49,795 --> 00:10:53,470
- A girl's best friend: knee pads!
- Knee pads!
146
00:10:53,594 --> 00:10:56,313
- Nair.
- Nair!
- Kevin!
147
00:10:56,434 --> 00:10:59,029
Oh, one more thing.
You forgot these.
148
00:10:59,154 --> 00:11:01,622
- Oh, man!
- You slut!
149
00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:04,467
Want the keys? Huh?
150
00:11:05,715 --> 00:11:07,864
Get the hell outta here!
151
00:11:07,995 --> 00:11:10,109
Kev, those rubbers
wasn't even lubricated, dog.
152
00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:13,145
Oh, look what you
made happen, Kev.
153
00:11:13,274 --> 00:11:16,106
- You're not gonna even
walk her to the car?
- Oh, that's funny.
154
00:11:16,233 --> 00:11:18,189
Go suck it down, Kev!
155
00:11:22,673 --> 00:11:25,268
Come on. Hurry up.
Get in the car.
156
00:11:26,594 --> 00:11:28,743
Yes! Hurry up!
157
00:11:28,873 --> 00:11:30,909
Won't stop
Never underestimate us
158
00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:32,147
- Can't stop
- Thanks, Mary.
159
00:11:32,273 --> 00:11:33,945
You're welcome, Muriel.
160
00:11:34,073 --> 00:11:36,109
- Never underestimate us
- Drive!
161
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,752
- Ooh! This is madness!
- Can't stop
162
00:11:43,792 --> 00:11:45,271
I'm so glad you guys are here.
163
00:11:45,393 --> 00:11:48,464
If it weren't for you,
I'd feel like I was crashing
my own boyfriend's funeral.
164
00:11:52,793 --> 00:11:54,272
Who are the pallbearers?
165
00:11:54,392 --> 00:11:57,829
Ugh. A grab bag of Joe's relatives
he couldn't relate to.
166
00:11:57,952 --> 00:12:01,865
Wouldn't participate in his life,
but they'd drive across three states
to attend his funeral.
167
00:12:01,991 --> 00:12:03,663
What's he wearing in there?
168
00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:06,750
I said his favourite jeans and
a T-shirt. They said, "No, a suit."
169
00:12:06,873 --> 00:12:09,305
So I said, "Okay, fine. That black
St Laurent double-breasted velvet suit."
170
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:11,706
- He loved that suit.
- I love that suit.
- Oh, I love that suit.
171
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,550
- "Too loud," they said.
- A black suit?
172
00:12:13,672 --> 00:12:14,990
"Too gay" is what they meant.
173
00:12:15,111 --> 00:12:17,262
So now he's in one
of his brother's old suits.
174
00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:18,745
Hugo Boss, I believe.
175
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,350
Death in Boss.
176
00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:23,307
So the black velvet suit
is still around?
177
00:12:24,431 --> 00:12:27,183
- Sorry.
- I just wish I could have
given him what he wanted.
178
00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:29,824
Joe wanted to be cremated...
179
00:12:29,951 --> 00:12:32,544
his ashes scattered to the wind
in Joshua Tree with...
180
00:12:32,671 --> 00:12:36,583
Don McLean's "American Pie" playing
really, really loud on a boom box.
181
00:12:36,711 --> 00:12:37,779
- Family said no.
- Why?
182
00:12:37,911 --> 00:12:40,139
- God.
- Ask her.
183
00:12:40,269 --> 00:12:43,706
Lord God,
bless this grave...
184
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,502
and send your angel
to watch over it.
185
00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:47,825
Joe did not want
all this Gothic hocus-pocus.
186
00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:49,985
- Shh.
- I feel like I'm in The Omen.
187
00:12:51,430 --> 00:12:55,184
There's always great sadness
when we say goodbye to a loved one...
188
00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:57,823
especially one
so beloved as Joseph...
189
00:12:57,949 --> 00:13:00,338
struck down in his prime
by pneumonia.
190
00:13:00,469 --> 00:13:02,141
Pneumonia. Please.
191
00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:06,022
This is the hardest thing most of us
will ever have to face...
192
00:13:06,148 --> 00:13:08,583
to stand at the grave
of a loved one.
193
00:13:08,709 --> 00:13:11,382
Lord, welcome our brother
to paradise...
194
00:13:11,509 --> 00:13:14,022
and may Your light
shine on him.
195
00:13:14,148 --> 00:13:16,140
- Amen.
- Amen.
196
00:13:19,348 --> 00:13:23,103
- I can't remember if I cried
- Shh.
197
00:13:23,229 --> 00:13:26,538
When I read about
his widowed bride
198
00:13:27,788 --> 00:13:32,383
But something touched me
deep inside
199
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,259
The day
200
00:13:34,388 --> 00:13:37,697
The music died
201
00:13:40,627 --> 00:13:43,505
So, bye, bye
202
00:13:43,627 --> 00:13:45,857
Miss American Pie
203
00:13:45,988 --> 00:13:49,264
Drove my Chevy to the levee
204
00:13:49,388 --> 00:13:52,697
But the levee was dry
205
00:13:52,826 --> 00:13:56,024
- Them good ol' boys were drinkin'
- Goodbye,Joe.
206
00:13:56,147 --> 00:13:58,137
Whisky and rye
207
00:13:58,266 --> 00:14:03,943
Singin' this'll be
the day that I die
208
00:14:04,065 --> 00:14:07,536
This'll be the day that I die
209
00:14:09,226 --> 00:14:11,056
They were singin'
210
00:14:11,186 --> 00:14:15,020
Bye, bye,
Miss American Pie
211
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,261
Drove my Chevy to the levee
212
00:14:17,385 --> 00:14:19,853
But the levee was dry
213
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:24,024
Them good ol' boys
were drinkin' whisky and rye
214
00:14:24,145 --> 00:14:29,697
Singin' this'll be
the day that I die
215
00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:35,302
When I die,
I don't want to be buried...
216
00:14:35,425 --> 00:14:37,700
and I don't want to be burned.
217
00:14:38,424 --> 00:14:41,895
Just cut me up
and stuff me in this freezer...
218
00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:44,822
next to these frozen pizzas
for the next hundred years.
219
00:14:48,504 --> 00:14:50,301
Robert?
220
00:14:50,425 --> 00:14:52,416
What?
221
00:14:52,544 --> 00:14:54,581
Hey. Robert.
222
00:14:56,223 --> 00:14:57,451
It's okay.
223
00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,733
- Please stay with me tonight.
- Yeah.
224
00:15:06,304 --> 00:15:08,578
Just six more spots to fill.
225
00:15:08,704 --> 00:15:11,092
Our fifth finalist,
Miss Colombia!
226
00:15:13,384 --> 00:15:15,498
Is Miss Colombia
clenching her jaw or what?
227
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,693
She's totally wired on Fen-Phen.
228
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:19,578
Hope she wins.
229
00:15:19,704 --> 00:15:22,058
Do you think they're all really
popular and have boyfriends?
230
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,298
Of course.
231
00:15:25,103 --> 00:15:28,651
Look at Miss Venezuela.
She looks so happy.
232
00:15:30,702 --> 00:15:32,181
You crazy?
233
00:15:32,303 --> 00:15:35,419
She's got Vaseline on her teeth,
her national costume is too tight...
234
00:15:35,542 --> 00:15:37,852
she's been smiling nonstop
for the last two years...
235
00:15:37,982 --> 00:15:39,462
and her shoes are too small.
236
00:15:39,582 --> 00:15:41,537
She reminds me
of myself on a date.
237
00:15:42,982 --> 00:15:45,781
- I can't imagine ever dating again.
- Oh, shut up.
238
00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:47,777
'Course you can.
Just think of it as a pageant.
239
00:15:49,341 --> 00:15:52,175
Yeah. Miss Hopeful.
240
00:15:52,303 --> 00:15:54,256
If you were to win
tonight's contest...
241
00:15:54,381 --> 00:15:57,612
what would be your first act
as Miss Universe?
242
00:15:57,741 --> 00:16:01,575
Well, I would get down
on my hands and knees...
243
00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:04,932
and I would promise to change
everything about myself to please you.
244
00:16:06,701 --> 00:16:08,850
That doesn't work.
I've tried it.
245
00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:11,097
I've been down
on my hands and knees.
246
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,212
Yes, well, I find that hard
not to believe.
247
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,854
Grovelling, that is,
for love and affection.
248
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,219
Do you still miss him?
249
00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:25,652
Well, I don't miss
being first runner-up.
250
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,453
Yeah, I miss him.
251
00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:32,499
He was totally me.
252
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,898
- Happy Independence Day.
- Bottoms up.
253
00:16:41,019 --> 00:16:44,933
Turning the situation
'round a little more
254
00:16:46,499 --> 00:16:48,855
Making it look like things
255
00:16:48,979 --> 00:16:51,890
Are just fine
256
00:16:52,019 --> 00:16:55,375
- You can go your way
- Ooh, lady.
257
00:16:57,619 --> 00:16:59,974
- Shudder to think..
- You need to have your back waxed again.
258
00:17:02,298 --> 00:17:06,416
Touch in a place
that makes it a love thing
259
00:17:07,979 --> 00:17:09,934
Straight to the face
260
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:13,332
One-way love
would be a miracle
261
00:17:13,457 --> 00:17:15,448
Touch in a place
262
00:17:15,578 --> 00:17:17,932
That makes it a love thing
263
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,452
Straight to the face
at any rate
264
00:17:21,577 --> 00:17:24,615
One-way love
would be a miracle
265
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,933
Touch in a place
266
00:17:33,137 --> 00:17:36,573
One-way love
would be a miracle
267
00:17:42,057 --> 00:17:44,092
Dreamily passing by
268
00:17:44,215 --> 00:17:46,172
Words sort of come and go
269
00:17:48,657 --> 00:17:50,930
Come up here.
270
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:59,447
- How long have they been together?
- Oh, I don't know. Since the Ice Age.
271
00:17:59,576 --> 00:18:02,329
- Hmm?
- Abbie, don't touch anything.
272
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,811
These people are maniacs
about their stuff.
273
00:18:04,935 --> 00:18:07,575
They seem so easygoing.
274
00:18:07,696 --> 00:18:10,288
Don't be fooled by the alcoholic haze
they walk around in.
275
00:18:15,775 --> 00:18:17,766
- Sorry.
- You're a total liability.
276
00:18:18,935 --> 00:18:22,689
Flying Down To Eio,
Top Hat...
277
00:18:22,814 --> 00:18:25,693
The Gay Divorcee,
Swing Time.
278
00:18:25,815 --> 00:18:27,487
Nothing but '30s musicals.
279
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:30,333
- They got stuck in the Depression.
- So did I.
280
00:18:31,534 --> 00:18:34,412
Steppin' out with my baby
281
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:37,571
I can't go wrong
'cause I'm in right
282
00:18:37,693 --> 00:18:39,810
It's for sure
not for maybe
283
00:18:39,934 --> 00:18:43,164
- That I'm all dressed up tonight
- This'll sort her out.
284
00:18:44,133 --> 00:18:46,409
- Whatever it is you're doing,
put it down.
- Yes.
285
00:18:47,614 --> 00:18:50,287
Never felt quite so sunny
286
00:18:50,413 --> 00:18:52,210
And I keep on knockin' wood
287
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,729
Where are you?
288
00:18:58,853 --> 00:19:02,128
- Ta-da!
- Abbie, you are naughty.
289
00:19:02,253 --> 00:19:04,722
- I couldn't help it.
- Ashby's gonna have a coronary.
290
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:07,446
- You've got to be very careful.
- Don't worry. I'll put it back.
291
00:19:08,372 --> 00:19:10,648
- Whose dress is this?
- Ashby's.
292
00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:12,126
Ashby's?
293
00:19:12,253 --> 00:19:14,483
No. Ashby, in his day,
my darling...
294
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,921
was one of the most important designers
to ever throw a fit.
295
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:25,726
Happy Fourth.
296
00:19:29,052 --> 00:19:31,360
Steppin' out with my baby
297
00:19:31,492 --> 00:19:34,084
I can't go wrong
'cause I'm in right
298
00:19:34,211 --> 00:19:36,726
It's for sure
and not for maybe
299
00:19:36,851 --> 00:19:39,160
That I'm all dressed up tonight
300
00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,930
Steppin' out with my honey
301
00:19:42,052 --> 00:19:44,612
Can't be bad to feel so good
302
00:19:44,732 --> 00:19:47,085
I never felt
quite so sunny
303
00:19:47,210 --> 00:19:49,441
And I keep on knockin' wood
304
00:19:49,571 --> 00:19:50,970
Whoo!
305
00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:54,687
Whoa!
306
00:19:59,610 --> 00:20:01,760
Oopsie!
307
00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:11,684
There'll be smooth sailing
'cause I'm trimmin' my sails
308
00:20:13,209 --> 00:20:16,839
In my top hat and my white tie
and my tails
309
00:20:18,449 --> 00:20:21,760
- Oh, steppin' out with my baby
- Whoo!
310
00:20:21,889 --> 00:20:24,006
Can't go wrong
'cause I'm in right
311
00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:26,768
Ask me when will the day be
312
00:20:26,889 --> 00:20:30,405
The big day maybe tonight
313
00:21:27,927 --> 00:21:29,245
Hi.
314
00:21:37,485 --> 00:21:38,759
Hi, um..
315
00:21:40,486 --> 00:21:44,000
- Is it my imagination, or..
- I know.
316
00:21:44,126 --> 00:21:46,959
I wanted to call you
and tell you all about it...
317
00:21:47,085 --> 00:21:49,041
but I know you're not at home.
318
00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:55,875
Well, leave a message after the beep
and I'll get back to you.
319
00:21:58,965 --> 00:22:00,956
Oh, Christ.
320
00:22:05,205 --> 00:22:07,321
My God, it's half past 1:00!
321
00:22:07,446 --> 00:22:09,560
They'll be back any minute now.
322
00:22:09,684 --> 00:22:11,276
They're probably driving
from the airport right now.
323
00:22:11,404 --> 00:22:14,555
Please, don't just lie there,
Abbie. Do something! Help me
get this place together!
324
00:22:17,165 --> 00:22:19,120
What are these shoes doing here?
325
00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:24,118
- I can't believe you let this happen.
- Me?
326
00:22:24,244 --> 00:22:26,633
You make it sound
like you were seduced.
327
00:22:26,764 --> 00:22:29,836
- I was the one that kept saying no.
- You weren't saying "no."
You were saying "now."
328
00:22:29,964 --> 00:22:33,513
- Ridiculous!
- Anyway, you started it. You kissed me.
329
00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:35,076
I kiss you every day.
We kiss all the time.
330
00:22:35,203 --> 00:22:38,559
Every time we see each other, we kiss.
It's friendly. It's European.
331
00:22:39,684 --> 00:22:42,356
I don't think I've been to that country
in Europe where the natives say hello...
332
00:22:42,483 --> 00:22:44,520
by sticking their tongue
down your throat.
333
00:22:44,644 --> 00:22:46,918
Oh, so you haven't been
to Italy recently, have you?
334
00:22:50,162 --> 00:22:52,119
We need to talk, Robert.
335
00:22:52,243 --> 00:22:55,439
No, Abbie, we need to get this place
sorted out. Now will you help me
with this couch, now!
336
00:22:59,682 --> 00:23:01,638
Something has happened.
337
00:23:03,041 --> 00:23:05,682
It's not every day of the week
that I sleep with my best friend.
338
00:23:05,803 --> 00:23:10,080
Oh, thank God. Look.
We were lonely as hell, and we had
too much to drink. Full stop!
339
00:23:10,202 --> 00:23:12,999
Now, in half an hour, two of the most
evil queens in Christendom...
340
00:23:13,121 --> 00:23:15,113
are coming back to find
their overdecorated show palace...
341
00:23:15,242 --> 00:23:18,552
has been vandalized
by their gardener and his plotting,
nympho maniacal best friend!
342
00:23:22,082 --> 00:23:23,561
You're embarrassed, aren't you?
343
00:23:25,042 --> 00:23:27,839
"Embarrassed"? "Embarrassed"
is the understatement of the year.
344
00:23:27,961 --> 00:23:30,031
Try catatonic!
Try apoplectic!
345
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,191
Why? Because you knocked over
a few lamps?
346
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,516
Or because you knocked over
a few lamps with a woman?
347
00:23:37,641 --> 00:23:39,949
Can we please talk this
to death a little later?
348
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:44,039
- We can talk this to death
a little never.
- Abbie! Abbie, wait!
349
00:23:49,081 --> 00:23:50,433
Abbie, please!
350
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:54,633
- I've seen that look
so many times before.
- What look?
351
00:23:54,759 --> 00:23:57,910
That "shutting down, turning off,
morning after" look.
352
00:23:58,039 --> 00:24:01,396
You're just like any other guy.
I expected more from you, Robert...
353
00:24:01,519 --> 00:24:02,919
being a gay man and all.
354
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,438
Abbie, Abbie, don't..
355
00:24:05,559 --> 00:24:08,232
- God, it's good to be home.
- Christ!
356
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,747
Come on, Ashby.
Stop dragging ass.
357
00:24:10,879 --> 00:24:12,277
Hold your water.
358
00:24:13,958 --> 00:24:16,029
- Hi ho, Robbie!
- Hi ho.
359
00:24:18,599 --> 00:24:19,793
- My God!
- My God!
360
00:24:19,919 --> 00:24:21,910
- We've been broken into!
- Oh, my God!
361
00:24:22,038 --> 00:24:23,869
- Look at this place!
- Look at this mess!
362
00:24:23,997 --> 00:24:25,954
- It's a mess!
- My dresses are all over the place!
363
00:24:26,079 --> 00:24:27,956
- Didn't you set the alarm?
- Of course I set the alarm!
364
00:24:33,358 --> 00:24:36,952
You know, David, you're gonna have to
give this a little water on occasion.
365
00:24:37,077 --> 00:24:39,910
Doesn't perpetual care
include sprinkler service?
366
00:24:40,038 --> 00:24:42,837
- That's the spirit, David.
- To Joe.
367
00:24:42,957 --> 00:24:46,996
- Forever young and beautiful Joe.
- He still left the party too early.
368
00:24:49,997 --> 00:24:52,067
- So where's Abbie?
I thought she was coming.
- Yeah.
369
00:24:53,798 --> 00:24:54,786
Something happened.
370
00:24:57,916 --> 00:24:59,066
We slept together.
371
00:25:00,758 --> 00:25:03,066
"Slept together" as in cuddly pj's...
372
00:25:03,196 --> 00:25:05,313
or "slept together"
as in shagged her?
373
00:25:06,356 --> 00:25:08,995
Oh, my God! You did? When?
374
00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:11,425
- About a week and a half ago.
- How was it? Was it hot?
375
00:25:11,557 --> 00:25:14,593
"Hot"? David, you're talking
about Abbie! She's like our sister.
How could it be "hot"?
376
00:25:14,717 --> 00:25:16,990
- You're the one who nailed her.
Are you gonna do it again?
- No, of course not.
377
00:25:17,116 --> 00:25:19,391
- You did it once.
How can you be so sure?
- 'Cause it's just one of those...
378
00:25:19,517 --> 00:25:21,269
crazy things that happens once
and never again.
379
00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:24,433
Anyway, she's not talking
to me any more, nor is she
returning my phone calls...
380
00:25:24,556 --> 00:25:26,194
and it's really upsetting me.
381
00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:28,431
- You mean you would if she did?
- Would what?
382
00:25:28,554 --> 00:25:30,625
- Are you telling us
you're straight now?
- No.
383
00:25:30,756 --> 00:25:32,587
You just said you're really upset
that you couldn't bang her again.
384
00:25:32,716 --> 00:25:34,547
That's not what I said.
385
00:25:34,675 --> 00:25:36,744
Next thing he'll be combing
his hair like Donald Trump.
386
00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:38,752
Subscribing to
Victoria's Secret catalogues.
387
00:25:38,876 --> 00:25:40,388
And voting Republican.
388
00:25:41,834 --> 00:25:44,554
Praise be to Lordy,
she's been reformed.
389
00:25:44,674 --> 00:25:46,905
- Call Jerry Falwell.
- Shut up!
390
00:25:47,035 --> 00:25:49,230
- Don't call me "she."
- See?
- See?
391
00:26:08,073 --> 00:26:10,304
Hi, it's Abbie.
Leave a message.
392
00:26:11,594 --> 00:26:13,073
Abbie, pick up.
393
00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:15,271
Pick up.
394
00:26:17,153 --> 00:26:20,384
Listen, I know we crossed a line
and we shot off the main road...
395
00:26:20,513 --> 00:26:24,108
but there's no reason
why we can't climb up
the embankment and get back on track.
396
00:26:24,234 --> 00:26:26,700
We've known each other too long
to let this come between us.
397
00:26:28,073 --> 00:26:30,746
I can't do it alone.
398
00:26:30,874 --> 00:26:32,987
Please, call me. Hmm?
399
00:26:46,752 --> 00:26:48,344
- Sorry. Sorry I'm late.
- Hi.
400
00:26:48,472 --> 00:26:51,509
I know how you hate that.
Anyway, I'm starving.
401
00:26:52,831 --> 00:26:55,062
Thanks for waiting.
Can I see a menu?
402
00:26:58,232 --> 00:27:00,699
- What is that?
- What?
403
00:27:00,831 --> 00:27:03,266
- Since when do you eat meat?
- I don't.
404
00:27:05,871 --> 00:27:07,145
Oh.
405
00:27:08,112 --> 00:27:09,829
I think I'm gonna be sick.
406
00:27:09,951 --> 00:27:12,704
Well, you're obviously craving iron.
You must be getting your period.
407
00:27:12,831 --> 00:27:15,982
Annabel, my period.
408
00:27:17,271 --> 00:27:18,418
When is my period?
409
00:27:20,831 --> 00:27:23,298
- How late are you?
- Third weekend in June.
410
00:27:23,431 --> 00:27:26,979
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve...
411
00:27:27,110 --> 00:27:29,146
thirteen, fourteen..
Korean hot springs..
412
00:27:29,271 --> 00:27:32,342
fifteen, sixteen, seventeen..
Fourth of July.
413
00:27:32,470 --> 00:27:33,869
I remember that.
414
00:27:34,990 --> 00:27:37,742
- Did we drive to Matador Beach?
- Mm-hmm.
415
00:27:37,869 --> 00:27:40,464
- Did we stop?
- Uh-uh.
416
00:27:41,629 --> 00:27:45,178
No. Shit.
417
00:27:45,309 --> 00:27:48,427
Just try to remember the last time you
felt fat and ugly and suicidal.
418
00:27:49,309 --> 00:27:52,346
- What can I get for you?
- The nearest drugstore.
419
00:28:15,389 --> 00:28:17,583
So you've come crawling back.
420
00:28:17,708 --> 00:28:20,859
No. I mean, yes.
421
00:28:20,988 --> 00:28:22,899
I have something to tell you.
422
00:28:24,147 --> 00:28:26,946
- Is it good news or bad news?
- Good news, I hope.
423
00:28:27,068 --> 00:28:30,104
Good news. Good news for you,
or good news for me?
424
00:28:30,227 --> 00:28:32,866
For us, I hope.
425
00:28:34,347 --> 00:28:36,098
For us.
426
00:28:36,227 --> 00:28:38,297
Is it, uh,
bigger than a bread box?
427
00:28:39,267 --> 00:28:40,542
Not yet.
428
00:28:41,788 --> 00:28:44,937
Oh, God. Come on.
Can't you just guess?
429
00:28:45,067 --> 00:28:47,500
- Just spit it out.
- Okay.
430
00:28:47,627 --> 00:28:49,344
What's the best thing
I could tell you?
431
00:28:50,987 --> 00:28:54,775
That you've met
a fabulous guy for me.
432
00:28:54,907 --> 00:28:56,784
Ha.
433
00:28:56,906 --> 00:28:59,261
What's the next best thing?
434
00:29:00,546 --> 00:29:02,502
That we can turn back the clock.
435
00:29:04,026 --> 00:29:07,257
Nothing bad
ever happened between us...
436
00:29:10,225 --> 00:29:12,296
and that, well...
437
00:29:13,906 --> 00:29:15,782
we're best friends again.
438
00:29:17,145 --> 00:29:19,262
Hmm?
439
00:29:22,386 --> 00:29:24,341
Oh, I missed you so much.
440
00:29:26,705 --> 00:29:28,422
I'm pregnant with your baby.
441
00:29:36,505 --> 00:29:38,382
I mean, you can't be pregnant.
We only did it once.
442
00:29:38,505 --> 00:29:41,975
- That's all it takes.
- What, eight martinis
and you're stuffed?
443
00:29:42,104 --> 00:29:45,494
- That's right.
- Wow. Doesn't take much
to crack your egg, does it?
444
00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:49,338
You don't have to make
a decision right now...
445
00:29:49,464 --> 00:29:52,183
but I've made up my mind
that I'm having this baby...
446
00:29:52,304 --> 00:29:55,261
and you can be involved as much
or as little as you like.
447
00:29:55,383 --> 00:29:57,454
Well, I can't very well
not be involved.
448
00:29:57,584 --> 00:30:01,781
I mean, it's not like I suddenly can
stop knowing you or something, can I?
449
00:30:01,902 --> 00:30:03,940
Can I? Ow!
450
00:30:04,063 --> 00:30:06,736
Come on, Robert.
I'm offering you a choice.
451
00:30:06,862 --> 00:30:10,333
You can be the baby's father,
or you can be the baby's uncle.
452
00:30:10,463 --> 00:30:13,135
I want you to be the father.
453
00:30:13,262 --> 00:30:15,254
We could do this, Robert.
I know we could.
454
00:30:15,383 --> 00:30:18,215
- What about if I..
- Please?
455
00:30:18,343 --> 00:30:19,695
Just think about it.
456
00:30:29,221 --> 00:30:32,100
Here, Dad, catch this!
Catch!
457
00:30:38,301 --> 00:30:41,658
Hey, look at you. Let's give you
a little wipey-wipe, huh?
458
00:30:45,061 --> 00:30:47,017
Oh! Not again.
459
00:30:52,060 --> 00:30:54,780
I'm just saying if you stuck
to gin and tonic, it wouldn't stain.
460
00:30:54,902 --> 00:30:57,540
- Hi. There he is.
- I cannot abide gin and tonic,
and you know it.
461
00:30:57,660 --> 00:30:59,538
- Oh, it's him.
- Back to the baggage..
462
00:30:59,661 --> 00:31:02,459
- Hello.
- Mum.
- Oh, darling. Oh.
463
00:31:02,581 --> 00:31:05,174
- What happened?
- Oh, nothing. Daddy had
a little accident.
464
00:31:05,300 --> 00:31:07,609
- It was the air waitress
that had the accident.
- We'll get the jacket cleaned, darling.
465
00:31:07,741 --> 00:31:10,379
- I just happened to be conveniently
located directly under her.
- Six hours of hell. How are you?
466
00:31:10,500 --> 00:31:13,139
- I'm fine.
- You look a little thin.
- I'm not thin. Come on. Let's go.
467
00:31:13,260 --> 00:31:15,728
- Thank you for shaving.
- I did shave.
468
00:31:15,861 --> 00:31:17,339
Of course you shaved.
You look gorgeous.
469
00:31:17,460 --> 00:31:20,133
- Attention, travellers.: You are not..
- Hey, get, get, get, get outta there!
470
00:31:20,260 --> 00:31:23,218
- How's the gardening world?
- Fine, thanks.
471
00:31:23,340 --> 00:31:26,537
- Darling, you're miles away.
- I've stuff on my mind. I'm sorry.
472
00:31:26,660 --> 00:31:28,696
How's your friend Abbie?
473
00:31:28,820 --> 00:31:31,539
- She's fine.
- How's her love life?
474
00:31:31,659 --> 00:31:33,616
Well, as a matter of fact,
she's, uh, pregnant.
475
00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:35,775
- No. When did she get married?
- She didn't.
476
00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:38,015
Who's the father?
477
00:31:38,139 --> 00:31:40,130
Actually, it's, uh, me.
478
00:31:41,659 --> 00:31:44,696
Abbie is pregnant with my child
and your grandchild.
479
00:31:44,819 --> 00:31:48,050
Is she? Really?
480
00:31:48,179 --> 00:31:49,817
- Do you mean it was all a joke?
- What?
481
00:31:49,938 --> 00:31:52,817
- You're not really queer?
- Shh. Lower your voice to a shriek.
482
00:31:52,939 --> 00:31:54,894
Of course I'm queer. It's just
that I'm having a baby as well.
483
00:31:55,018 --> 00:31:57,293
- I'm confused.
- Well, I'm not.
484
00:31:57,418 --> 00:31:59,613
You're going to make
a laughing stock of the family.
485
00:31:59,738 --> 00:32:02,411
- Child needs a role model,
someone to look up to.
- Well, I'll wear heels.
486
00:32:03,737 --> 00:32:06,251
If you were younger,
I'd take you over my knee...
487
00:32:06,378 --> 00:32:08,528
and thrash
the living daylights out of you.
488
00:32:08,657 --> 00:32:10,966
I think you mean
if you were younger, Dad.
489
00:32:12,338 --> 00:32:14,408
I'm getting a taxi.
I'll see you at the hotel.
490
00:32:16,137 --> 00:32:18,128
Oh, God, he's a bore, isn't he?
491
00:32:19,817 --> 00:32:21,250
Thank goodness you're here.
492
00:32:23,897 --> 00:32:26,969
- I just don't know
if I can do it or not.
- Well, no one's ever ready for a baby.
493
00:32:27,098 --> 00:32:31,534
But I'll tell you one thing: having
a child is the best thing in the world.
494
00:32:31,657 --> 00:32:34,091
It stops you from worrying
about yourself.
495
00:32:34,217 --> 00:32:36,094
There's something more important
than you in the world...
496
00:32:36,216 --> 00:32:37,934
and that's such a relief
in the end.
497
00:32:38,057 --> 00:32:41,685
I don't know. It just seems like
such a huge responsibility
to take on overnight.
498
00:32:41,816 --> 00:32:45,445
It's an opportunity that's come up.
It won't come up again.
499
00:32:46,696 --> 00:32:48,606
I can't tell you to do it,
but I can tell you...
500
00:32:48,736 --> 00:32:51,170
think very carefully
before you don't do it.
501
00:32:51,297 --> 00:32:53,730
Having you is the best thing
that ever happened to me.
502
00:32:53,855 --> 00:32:55,335
- Oh, Mum.
- Even though you've been...
503
00:32:55,455 --> 00:32:57,286
an enormous disappointment
in many ways.
504
00:32:57,416 --> 00:32:59,645
- Mum.
- Well, you have.
505
00:32:59,775 --> 00:33:02,005
But you're you.
I adore you.
506
00:33:04,935 --> 00:33:05,812
Darling, careful.
507
00:33:20,094 --> 00:33:21,493
Abbie?
508
00:33:24,855 --> 00:33:26,127
I'll do it.
509
00:33:27,053 --> 00:33:29,009
I want to be the father
of our baby.
510
00:33:30,894 --> 00:33:32,884
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
511
00:33:34,534 --> 00:33:37,366
I don't want to do it halfway. I want
to do it all the way or not at all.
512
00:33:37,494 --> 00:33:40,531
I don't want to be
some gay uncle...
513
00:33:40,653 --> 00:33:43,850
who lives on the other side
of the tracks with his roommate Bruce...
514
00:33:43,974 --> 00:33:45,850
who no one's supposed to talk to.
515
00:33:47,573 --> 00:33:51,169
I want to be the baby's father,
forever and always.
516
00:33:52,893 --> 00:33:54,848
One more thing.
517
00:33:56,453 --> 00:33:57,805
I can't be a husband.
518
00:34:00,213 --> 00:34:03,011
You just have to be a father...
519
00:34:03,132 --> 00:34:04,168
and a friend.
520
00:34:06,812 --> 00:34:09,042
- You what?
- Robert Robert?
521
00:34:09,172 --> 00:34:11,810
- Gay Robert Robert?
- He just goes by Robert now.
522
00:34:11,932 --> 00:34:13,888
- You are outrageous.
- I would not kick him out of bed.
523
00:34:14,012 --> 00:34:16,162
He definitely falls into
the "what a waste" category.
524
00:34:16,293 --> 00:34:17,725
- Totally.
- So what was it like?
525
00:34:17,851 --> 00:34:19,968
- Did he rise to the occasion?
- Obviously he did.
526
00:34:20,092 --> 00:34:23,050
Hey, could we move past the sex part
and get onto the now part?
527
00:34:23,172 --> 00:34:26,005
- I'm having a baby.
- Oh, Abbie, that is so great.
- That is cool.
528
00:34:26,131 --> 00:34:28,804
- It's tough being
a single parent, Abbie.
- I'm not gonna be a single parent.
529
00:34:28,931 --> 00:34:30,727
- What?
- Robert's moving in with me...
530
00:34:30,851 --> 00:34:32,489
and we're gonna raise
the baby together.
531
00:34:32,611 --> 00:34:36,002
- Are you sure you know
what you're doing?
- Look, Robert is the
most incredible man...
532
00:34:36,131 --> 00:34:37,529
- I've ever met...
- Right.
- True.
533
00:34:37,650 --> 00:34:39,528
and he's hung in there
when my boyfriends haven't.
534
00:34:39,651 --> 00:34:40,720
That's true.
535
00:34:40,851 --> 00:34:43,284
And we're always gonna love each other
and be in each other's lives...
536
00:34:43,411 --> 00:34:46,846
and we're never getting married,
so we can't get divorced.
537
00:34:46,970 --> 00:34:49,166
You know, there's a certain
crazy logic to this...
538
00:34:49,291 --> 00:34:50,962
and Robert will do
everything a husband will do.
539
00:34:51,091 --> 00:34:52,603
- Exactly.
- Including not sleep with you.
540
00:34:52,731 --> 00:34:55,450
Yes, but I won't be
bitter and resentful about it.
541
00:34:55,571 --> 00:34:58,163
- Well, at least the kid
will be gorgeous.
- Oh, no doubt.
542
00:34:58,290 --> 00:34:59,962
- Will he be gay?
- Kelly!
543
00:35:00,090 --> 00:35:01,489
- What?
- Come on.
- Come on.
544
00:35:01,610 --> 00:35:04,488
My God. Will your kids
be stupid?
545
00:35:08,170 --> 00:35:10,559
- Good to have you here, David.
- Make yourself at home.
546
00:35:10,688 --> 00:35:12,680
Anything you need,
just let us know.
547
00:35:12,809 --> 00:35:13,878
Okay. Thanks.
548
00:35:16,209 --> 00:35:19,087
- I feel like such an asshole.
- Why?
549
00:35:19,209 --> 00:35:21,678
Because, if Joe's parents
hadn't kicked me out
and I didn't need this place...
550
00:35:21,809 --> 00:35:23,083
I wouldn't be helping you move out.
551
00:35:23,209 --> 00:35:25,517
- I'd be making a stand.
- Against what?
552
00:35:25,649 --> 00:35:27,719
Against this insane decision
that you're making, Robert.
553
00:35:27,849 --> 00:35:29,805
This is ridiculous.
You're gonna be miserable.
554
00:35:29,928 --> 00:35:32,568
Have you thought about
all the details, like your sex life?
555
00:35:32,689 --> 00:35:34,201
- Are you gonna even have one?
- Listen.
556
00:35:34,329 --> 00:35:37,320
If I was straight, and I turned gay,
you'd be thrilled.
557
00:35:37,448 --> 00:35:39,882
But the fact that I'm having
a baby with a woman.. Uhh!
558
00:35:40,008 --> 00:35:42,602
That's blowing your mind, David.
That's such a double standard.
559
00:35:42,728 --> 00:35:45,447
Oh, so your biological time clock
is ticking. That's it.
560
00:35:45,568 --> 00:35:47,206
- No, that is not it.
- Yeah.
561
00:35:47,328 --> 00:35:49,887
Actually, you know what?
I'm just bored of it all.
562
00:35:50,008 --> 00:35:51,963
I'm bored of the parties,
I'm bored of the drugs...
563
00:35:52,088 --> 00:35:53,680
I'm bored of the body obsession.
564
00:35:53,808 --> 00:35:56,196
I'm not in a relationship.
I don't see one coming, and it happened.
565
00:35:56,326 --> 00:35:58,557
It's not a sacrifice, you know.
It's an opportunity.
566
00:36:00,528 --> 00:36:02,802
I do love Abbie.
I trust her.
567
00:36:04,647 --> 00:36:07,366
And here comes a baby that's gonna be
part of our lives forever.
568
00:36:09,246 --> 00:36:11,442
And what happens
when you do meet Mr Right?
569
00:36:12,126 --> 00:36:14,515
I'll cross that bridge
when I get to it.
570
00:36:14,646 --> 00:36:16,955
You'll burn that bridge
when you get to it.
571
00:36:18,247 --> 00:36:20,680
To stay
572
00:36:23,287 --> 00:36:27,837
- You come to me
- Come to me
573
00:36:27,966 --> 00:36:29,922
- Come back to me
- Rather you than me.
574
00:36:32,006 --> 00:36:36,442
Let me see.
Oh, don't show me any more.
575
00:36:41,885 --> 00:36:43,238
It just kicked.
576
00:36:52,565 --> 00:36:54,202
- Look at this.
- Yea!
577
00:37:00,964 --> 00:37:03,525
- Thanks a lot, you guys.
- That bottle is huge.
578
00:37:03,645 --> 00:37:06,477
Attention! Attention, attention.
579
00:37:06,605 --> 00:37:09,482
First of all, I would really
like to welcome all of you...
580
00:37:09,605 --> 00:37:13,279
to our home on this very,
very special occasion.
581
00:37:13,404 --> 00:37:15,679
You know, some people..
and I know I have been one of them..
582
00:37:15,804 --> 00:37:19,113
have suggested that this was
an unexpected move on both your parts.
583
00:37:20,603 --> 00:37:22,481
Personally,
I thought it was deranged.
584
00:37:23,804 --> 00:37:26,193
It's just that you see all of these
young couples sporting around town...
585
00:37:26,323 --> 00:37:28,518
in their suburban
assault vehicles...
586
00:37:28,643 --> 00:37:32,113
a Frappucino in one hand, a rug rat
and a wet diaper in the other.
587
00:37:33,403 --> 00:37:36,155
There but for the grace of God..
588
00:37:36,283 --> 00:37:39,035
- And who needs sleep anyway?
- Exactly.
589
00:37:39,163 --> 00:37:41,392
And you can kiss
your upholstery goodbye.
590
00:37:41,523 --> 00:37:43,718
- Thanks a lot, Annabel.
- The world out there...
591
00:37:43,844 --> 00:37:46,151
does not always support
families that are different...
592
00:37:46,282 --> 00:37:50,242
but as I look
at the two of you now..
593
00:37:50,363 --> 00:37:52,751
two of the most generous,
attractive..
594
00:37:52,881 --> 00:37:55,477
And cattiest monsters we know.
595
00:37:56,522 --> 00:38:00,435
And I see all of this love
and warmth and joy, and..
596
00:38:01,642 --> 00:38:03,599
I think Abbie has something
she'd like to say.
597
00:38:03,722 --> 00:38:05,235
Oh!
598
00:38:05,361 --> 00:38:08,115
Give me every drug you've got!
599
00:38:13,681 --> 00:38:16,150
- Here's Sam dressed as Krishna.
- Little gender bender.
600
00:38:16,282 --> 00:38:18,476
He really didn't go
for all the jewellery.
601
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,717
- Look at him.
- Isn't that sweet.
- Look at that.
602
00:38:22,641 --> 00:38:25,235
Look at the two studs.
603
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,670
- Happy New Year.
- This one's gorgeous.
604
00:38:27,801 --> 00:38:29,440
Yeah.
605
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,120
- Hey, Happy New Year.
- Hi, guys. You having fun?
606
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,913
- Hello, ladies.
- Happy New Year.
607
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,759
- Hi. Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.
608
00:38:35,881 --> 00:38:37,599
- Say Happy..
Did you say Happy New Year?
- Yes, I did.
609
00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:40,154
- All right.
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year!
610
00:38:40,281 --> 00:38:43,511
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year!
- What's up, Sammy?
611
00:38:43,639 --> 00:38:45,358
Hey, Happy New Year!
612
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,427
- Happy New Year.
- Cheers.
613
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,515
Hands above your head.
614
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:58,117
Look at your thumbs.
Hands to your chest.
615
00:39:05,999 --> 00:39:08,036
I need champ..
Who needs champagne?
616
00:39:13,319 --> 00:39:15,548
I got, got, got, got you.
617
00:39:17,278 --> 00:39:20,430
Sam, why aren't you
at your own party?
618
00:39:22,198 --> 00:39:25,554
- Dad, am I stupid?
- No. Who told you that?
619
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:30,266
Jamie Rappaport. He said yoga
was stupid and I was stupid...
620
00:39:30,398 --> 00:39:32,515
and he's taking back
my Christmas present.
621
00:39:32,637 --> 00:39:35,471
That's horrible. You know what I do
when people call me stupid?
622
00:39:35,597 --> 00:39:37,156
I just put up a window.
623
00:39:37,278 --> 00:39:39,347
I get in the car,
I do up the seat belt...
624
00:39:39,478 --> 00:39:41,432
and I roll up the window
and I say, "Window.
625
00:39:41,557 --> 00:39:43,593
I can see you,
but I can't hear you."
626
00:39:43,717 --> 00:39:45,753
Okay, we're gonna do a little test.
627
00:39:45,877 --> 00:39:48,914
- Call me a stupid jerk. Go on.
- You're a stupid jerk.
628
00:39:49,036 --> 00:39:52,392
Window. I can see you,
but I can't hear you.
629
00:39:52,517 --> 00:39:53,835
Now I'm gonna call you something.
630
00:39:53,956 --> 00:39:55,355
You are...
631
00:39:57,797 --> 00:39:59,753
the worst Nintendo player
on the planet!
632
00:39:59,877 --> 00:40:01,867
Window.
Doesn't bother me a bit.
633
00:40:03,116 --> 00:40:05,391
- I love you so much.
- I can't hear you.
634
00:40:05,516 --> 00:40:08,076
- Love you, Sam!
- Window.
635
00:40:12,477 --> 00:40:15,273
Who's that really cute guy?
636
00:40:15,395 --> 00:40:17,352
That's Robert's cardiologist.
637
00:40:17,476 --> 00:40:19,943
Oh, my God. Does Robert
have a problem with his heart?
638
00:40:21,235 --> 00:40:23,226
- Stupid.
- Kelly!
639
00:40:36,315 --> 00:40:38,431
- D-Darling!
- Mum.
640
00:40:39,555 --> 00:40:41,510
Oh, don't do that.
641
00:40:42,634 --> 00:40:45,751
- I was getting worried about you.
- Well, I, um.. I.. I brought a surprise.
642
00:40:45,873 --> 00:40:49,264
What?
643
00:40:49,394 --> 00:40:51,465
- Hi, Dad.
- Hello.
644
00:40:52,474 --> 00:40:55,671
Is that a, uh, cricket bat in your hand,
or are you just pleased to see me?
645
00:40:57,555 --> 00:40:59,510
- What?
- Only kidding.
646
00:40:59,634 --> 00:41:02,227
- None of that, darling. If you knew
what I went through to get him here.
- Hello, Mary.
647
00:41:02,354 --> 00:41:04,231
I've gone grey overnight.
648
00:41:04,354 --> 00:41:06,390
- Podgy!
- Sam.
- Podgy, darling!
649
00:41:06,513 --> 00:41:08,663
- Hey, Grandma.
- Come on.
650
00:41:09,874 --> 00:41:11,147
Hello, darling.
651
00:41:12,473 --> 00:41:15,192
- Listen, you remember that gloomy
old grandpa I told you about...
- Yeah.
652
00:41:15,313 --> 00:41:17,191
- who only came out at night?
- Yeah.
653
00:41:17,313 --> 00:41:18,631
Well, he's here.
654
00:41:19,753 --> 00:41:21,823
Some smelling salts!
655
00:41:21,953 --> 00:41:24,183
Smelling salts!
656
00:41:24,312 --> 00:41:26,985
- He loves to faint.
- Grandma, why aren't you
fainting with me?
657
00:41:27,113 --> 00:41:29,343
Oh, well, well..
Darling, take my G & T.
658
00:41:33,713 --> 00:41:35,943
Come on, Grandpa.
You fake too. Come on.
659
00:41:36,072 --> 00:41:38,904
Get more enthusiasm.
Gestures are better, darling.
660
00:41:39,032 --> 00:41:41,945
Little.. Yeah, that's it.
Go on. Give him a hug and a kiss.
661
00:41:42,071 --> 00:41:44,063
There we are. Go on.
There we are.
662
00:41:44,191 --> 00:41:46,386
Careful of his tummy.
Careful.
663
00:41:46,512 --> 00:41:48,467
Oh.. Yes, yes, thank you.
664
00:41:48,592 --> 00:41:50,388
Robert.
665
00:41:50,511 --> 00:41:53,106
- Comin' over later?
- I'll try.
666
00:41:56,272 --> 00:41:58,659
- Bye-bye. See you next Thursday.
- I hope so.
667
00:42:01,192 --> 00:42:03,624
- So who lives in this room?
- My dad.
668
00:42:03,750 --> 00:42:05,468
- How come? Was he bad?
- No.
669
00:42:05,591 --> 00:42:07,707
Well, then why doesn't he sleep
in the same room as your mom?
670
00:42:07,832 --> 00:42:09,059
Well, he's supposed to...
671
00:42:09,192 --> 00:42:11,624
or he could sleep
in a different house, like my dad.
672
00:42:11,751 --> 00:42:13,742
- Huh?
- He doesn't sleep with his mother...
673
00:42:13,871 --> 00:42:16,065
because Sam's dad is a fag.
674
00:42:16,189 --> 00:42:18,066
- A what?
- Faggot.
675
00:42:18,190 --> 00:42:20,705
You're supposed to say
"same sex partner."
676
00:42:20,830 --> 00:42:24,584
I know what a faggot is.
That's what my dad calls someone
who cuts him off in traffic.
677
00:42:27,231 --> 00:42:30,107
- I don't wanna go to bed.
- Too bad.
678
00:42:31,910 --> 00:42:33,865
- Window.
- Double window.
679
00:42:38,949 --> 00:42:40,507
Now, then, mister.
680
00:42:44,709 --> 00:42:47,542
- Why don't you sleep in Mommy's room?
- What?
681
00:42:47,670 --> 00:42:50,945
- Don't you love her?
- Of course I love her.
682
00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:54,266
You know why I don't sleep with her?
'Cause she snores.
683
00:42:54,390 --> 00:42:56,266
She snores like a great big
old helicopter taking off.
684
00:42:58,228 --> 00:43:01,425
That's why I sleep in my own room. Any
other questions, Mr Sam, Mr Detective?
685
00:43:01,547 --> 00:43:03,584
Can I have a brother
for my birthday?
686
00:43:05,548 --> 00:43:07,140
You have to ask Mommy.
687
00:43:07,269 --> 00:43:09,543
- Okay.
- Okay?
688
00:43:09,667 --> 00:43:11,544
Good night. Sleep well.
689
00:43:20,707 --> 00:43:23,176
Your son's starting to ask
a lot of questions.
690
00:43:23,307 --> 00:43:25,867
He knows too much.
We must get rid of him.
691
00:43:25,987 --> 00:43:29,696
Seriously, Robert.
It's only the beginning
of a lot more questions like that...
692
00:43:29,827 --> 00:43:32,216
and we have to figure out
what we're gonna say.
693
00:43:32,347 --> 00:43:35,702
We will figure it out. Can't it wait
till tomorrow? I'm going out.
694
00:43:36,827 --> 00:43:39,784
Is seeing the cardiologist right now
more important than your son?
695
00:43:39,907 --> 00:43:43,263
My son is more important than breakfast,
lunch, tea and dinner.
696
00:43:43,386 --> 00:43:46,661
Doesn't mean I still don't
have to eat sometime. You should
be doing the same thing.
697
00:43:46,786 --> 00:43:49,745
- I eat.
- Men call you.
Go out with one of them.
698
00:43:53,785 --> 00:43:57,176
- Keeps your hinges from rusting.
- Contrary to what you might think...
699
00:43:57,306 --> 00:43:59,865
I'm not a queen
trapped in a woman's body.
700
00:43:59,985 --> 00:44:03,614
- Really?
- You think everyone wants to have sex.
701
00:44:03,746 --> 00:44:06,464
I don't want to have sex.
I'm over it.
702
00:44:06,585 --> 00:44:09,622
- I'm perfectly happy right here
in my own backyard.
- Really?
703
00:44:09,745 --> 00:44:11,781
And I'm not gonna feel guilty
'cause you feel guilty...
704
00:44:11,906 --> 00:44:14,179
- 'cause you're going out
and having fun and I'm..
- Not.
705
00:44:16,025 --> 00:44:18,334
You aren't just a mother, Abbie.
You're a beautiful woman.
706
00:44:18,465 --> 00:44:20,342
Don't sell yourself short.
707
00:44:23,665 --> 00:44:24,984
Bye.
708
00:44:31,544 --> 00:44:32,818
1989.
709
00:44:34,944 --> 00:44:36,503
1999.
710
00:44:39,184 --> 00:44:40,457
1989.
711
00:44:43,704 --> 00:44:45,056
1999.
712
00:44:51,063 --> 00:44:53,019
Dear God, wherever You are...
713
00:44:53,143 --> 00:44:55,099
could You please hook me up?
714
00:45:17,982 --> 00:45:20,338
- Just sleep, for God's sakes.
- I can't.
715
00:45:21,982 --> 00:45:23,972
Being with you
is like being with a hologram.
716
00:45:25,261 --> 00:45:27,571
You're there,
but you're not there.
717
00:45:27,702 --> 00:45:30,420
I'm sorry.
Just got stuff on my mind.
718
00:45:30,541 --> 00:45:33,374
Sam's starting a new school next week,
and I feel like it's me going.
719
00:45:33,501 --> 00:45:36,572
I'm so nervous.
Can't think of anything else.
720
00:45:36,701 --> 00:45:40,296
- Isn't that weird?
- No. It's frustrating.
721
00:45:40,421 --> 00:45:43,093
Sometimes I feel like you
don't care about anything else.
722
00:45:47,861 --> 00:45:49,135
Damn.
723
00:45:56,459 --> 00:45:58,452
I have to go to the hospital.
724
00:46:02,459 --> 00:46:04,815
I like you a lot, Robert.
725
00:46:05,581 --> 00:46:08,492
I like you too,
o doctor of the heart.
726
00:46:08,620 --> 00:46:11,259
But it's never gonna work.
727
00:46:11,380 --> 00:46:15,089
'Cause I want more. With you
it's like crashing into a brick wall.
728
00:46:15,220 --> 00:46:17,494
- You just don't give a damn inch.
- 'Cause I don't want to get serious.
729
00:46:17,620 --> 00:46:20,930
I told you. Sam is everything
to me. I haven't got time
for anything else right now.
730
00:46:21,060 --> 00:46:23,492
- I told you this on day one.
- I know. Calm down.
731
00:46:23,619 --> 00:46:25,575
It's just we're getting repetitive.
732
00:46:27,340 --> 00:46:29,295
Maybe we should just move on then.
733
00:46:31,459 --> 00:46:33,814
I gotta go. Uh..
734
00:46:33,939 --> 00:46:35,895
Stay. Don't stay.
735
00:46:37,219 --> 00:46:38,492
Love you.
736
00:46:40,339 --> 00:46:41,656
Hate you.
737
00:46:55,578 --> 00:46:57,807
I know that you're
in love with him
738
00:46:57,938 --> 00:47:00,577
'Cause I saw you dancing
in the gym
739
00:47:00,697 --> 00:47:02,733
You both kicked off your shoes
740
00:47:02,857 --> 00:47:05,372
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues
741
00:47:06,577 --> 00:47:09,375
I know that you're in love with him
'Cause I..
742
00:47:09,497 --> 00:47:11,488
- Not on the part you like, Sammy.
- What's going on in here?
743
00:47:11,618 --> 00:47:16,247
- You barbarian.
- Daddy, get Mommy a cup of coffee.
744
00:47:16,377 --> 00:47:18,571
- Please?
- Please, Daddy?
745
00:47:18,697 --> 00:47:20,573
Yes, Mommy dearest.
746
00:47:21,936 --> 00:47:23,415
Give me a kiss, Sam.
747
00:47:25,617 --> 00:47:27,926
- Did you sleep good?
- Yeah.
748
00:47:28,057 --> 00:47:29,807
You're too kind.
749
00:47:29,936 --> 00:47:31,370
- Daddy?
- Hmm?
750
00:47:31,496 --> 00:47:32,815
Are you a faggot?
751
00:47:34,536 --> 00:47:37,130
- What?
- And yesterday he was only five.
752
00:47:38,616 --> 00:47:41,050
Sam, where did you learn
a word like that?
753
00:47:41,175 --> 00:47:44,168
- Kyle told it to me.
- Did Kyle tell you what it means?
754
00:47:45,255 --> 00:47:46,370
Yeah.
755
00:47:47,216 --> 00:47:48,774
Well, what is it?
756
00:47:49,695 --> 00:47:52,209
It's when two boys kiss
and they go to the opera.
757
00:47:53,014 --> 00:47:54,243
Oh. Well..
758
00:47:55,415 --> 00:47:57,007
Yes and no.
759
00:47:57,136 --> 00:48:00,047
But, you know, the point here,
Sam, is that the word "faggot"...
760
00:48:00,175 --> 00:48:02,530
is a mean word
that mean people use...
761
00:48:02,655 --> 00:48:04,645
when they don't want to accept
people who are different from them.
762
00:48:04,774 --> 00:48:08,085
Right, and we are not
meanie buckets in this house, are we?
763
00:48:08,215 --> 00:48:10,171
- Nope.
- Right.
764
00:48:14,094 --> 00:48:17,973
- Major Lady to Major Dad.
- It's Ground Control to Major Lady.
765
00:48:18,094 --> 00:48:19,971
Come in, please, Major Lady.
Come in, please.
766
00:48:20,093 --> 00:48:23,245
I'm on your tail.
I'm going to shoot now.
767
00:48:24,374 --> 00:48:27,605
- Major Lady to Major Dad.
- Major Lady, you're being tailed.
768
00:48:28,414 --> 00:48:30,769
"Back and forth across the pasture
with the tractor.
769
00:48:30,893 --> 00:48:33,566
Finally it was so close that Abigail
popped into the burrow...
770
00:48:33,694 --> 00:48:35,650
- and scurried down to her baby's nest."
- Read it the other way.
771
00:48:35,774 --> 00:48:38,047
Oh. I don't like this way.
772
00:48:42,013 --> 00:48:43,969
"Miss Demeanour had a new set...
773
00:48:44,093 --> 00:48:46,401
of long, shiny black fingernails...
774
00:48:46,533 --> 00:48:50,606
and she was picking an enormous,
giant-sized purple booger...
775
00:48:50,732 --> 00:48:52,404
from her left nostril.
776
00:48:52,532 --> 00:48:55,570
'Mm. That looks like dinner
for a family of five'...
777
00:48:55,692 --> 00:48:58,411
said Princess Tiny fuse as she got out
her kitchen knife...
778
00:48:58,532 --> 00:49:01,046
and cut it into small slices
and put it into a frying pan."
779
00:49:16,931 --> 00:49:18,887
Hey, little man.
780
00:49:19,012 --> 00:49:23,003
Set it here, take your shoes off,
and help yourself to some herbal tea.
781
00:49:23,130 --> 00:49:25,406
Does this place have Stair Masters
or treadmills?
782
00:49:25,531 --> 00:49:27,250
This is a yoga centre.
783
00:49:27,371 --> 00:49:29,884
- Yoga classes only.
- Oh, so no free weights?
784
00:49:30,011 --> 00:49:31,762
- I'll call you back.
- You should do yoga.
785
00:49:31,891 --> 00:49:34,086
- It reduces your stress.
- Oh, yeah?
786
00:49:34,212 --> 00:49:36,804
- Where'd you get this guy?
- He's my son...
787
00:49:36,930 --> 00:49:38,887
and he was doing yoga
before he was born.
788
00:49:39,011 --> 00:49:40,966
- Yeah, it's easy.
- I don't know, see...
789
00:49:41,091 --> 00:49:44,081
'cause I'm more the "half-hour
free weights, little bit of steam"
kind of guy.
790
00:49:44,210 --> 00:49:46,087
I'm not really the yoga type.
791
00:49:46,211 --> 00:49:47,438
Chicken.
792
00:49:47,571 --> 00:49:50,766
Sam, honey, go easy
on the hard sell.
793
00:49:50,889 --> 00:49:53,882
This guy obviously
wants to "feel the burn."
794
00:49:54,010 --> 00:49:57,365
- There's a gym for "mirror athletes"
half a mile that-a-way.
- All right, now hold on.
795
00:49:57,490 --> 00:49:59,367
Wait a minute.
I've got an open mind.
796
00:49:59,490 --> 00:50:01,481
I mean, I don't know
if I can do the splits, but..
797
00:50:01,609 --> 00:50:05,488
I'm teaching a class in ten minutes.
I promise to go easy on you.
798
00:50:09,650 --> 00:50:11,321
Hands together
in prayer position.
799
00:50:11,450 --> 00:50:12,643
Feet together.
800
00:50:32,449 --> 00:50:36,043
Inhale, look up,
gazing at your fingertips.
801
00:50:36,168 --> 00:50:38,159
Exhale, palms to the floor.
802
00:50:39,607 --> 00:50:41,724
Inhale, look up.
803
00:50:41,848 --> 00:50:45,476
Exhale.Jump back
to Chaturanga position.
804
00:50:45,607 --> 00:50:49,886
Keep your elbows close to your side,
pointing your toes, shoulders back.
805
00:50:50,008 --> 00:50:51,998
Exhale.
Push back into down dog.
806
00:50:52,967 --> 00:50:55,434
- Sink your heels into the floor...
- Psst.
807
00:50:55,567 --> 00:50:57,684
- gazing at your navel.
- How am I doin'?
808
00:50:57,807 --> 00:51:00,685
You're doing good.
Just remember, it's a process.
809
00:51:00,807 --> 00:51:03,604
You don't have to be perfect.
810
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:05,682
Sink your heels into the floor...
811
00:51:06,646 --> 00:51:08,046
gazing at your navel.
812
00:51:09,806 --> 00:51:11,321
Don't forget to breathe.
813
00:51:12,766 --> 00:51:15,520
Ow! Was that good?
814
00:51:15,646 --> 00:51:17,399
That's very good.
815
00:51:17,527 --> 00:51:19,481
You don't have to overdo it
in the first class.
816
00:51:19,605 --> 00:51:21,721
I'm not overdoing it.
It's a piece of cake.
817
00:51:23,926 --> 00:51:25,916
Inhale, look up.
Jump forward.
818
00:51:27,565 --> 00:51:30,000
Inhale, stand up.
Arms up over your head.
819
00:51:30,126 --> 00:51:32,434
Whoa. Stood up too fast.
820
00:51:32,564 --> 00:51:33,918
Mm-hmm.
821
00:51:34,045 --> 00:51:36,195
Right hand grabs
the right big toe.
822
00:51:36,325 --> 00:51:40,716
Extend the right leg.
Inhale, look up.
823
00:51:40,844 --> 00:51:43,200
Exhale.
Bring your nose to your knee.
824
00:51:43,326 --> 00:51:44,552
Breathe.
825
00:51:47,044 --> 00:51:49,640
- Straighten your standing leg.
- I'm tryin'.
826
00:51:50,804 --> 00:51:52,283
Breathe!
827
00:51:52,404 --> 00:51:54,713
I'm breathin', kid.
I am breathin'.
828
00:51:56,125 --> 00:51:59,241
Exhale.
Open the leg to the side...
829
00:51:59,364 --> 00:52:01,162
gazing to the left.
830
00:52:02,965 --> 00:52:03,918
Oh!
831
00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:06,562
Sorry, pal.
832
00:52:10,643 --> 00:52:12,600
It's all levels,
beginners through advanced.
833
00:52:12,724 --> 00:52:13,678
Thank you.
834
00:52:13,804 --> 00:52:15,999
- See you on Monday.
- Okay.
- Bye.
835
00:52:16,123 --> 00:52:18,079
- You okay?
- Well, check with me tomorrow.
836
00:52:19,523 --> 00:52:21,514
Beginners are Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays at 10:00...
837
00:52:21,644 --> 00:52:24,157
Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11:00
and Sundays at 9:00.
838
00:52:24,282 --> 00:52:26,592
- Well, how 'bout tonight at 8:00?
- Excuse me?
839
00:52:28,083 --> 00:52:29,198
Let's have dinner.
840
00:52:37,441 --> 00:52:39,034
Are you asking me out on a date?
841
00:52:39,162 --> 00:52:41,393
Yeah. Is that all right?
842
00:52:43,921 --> 00:52:45,594
Hold on a second.
843
00:52:49,321 --> 00:52:51,597
- How do you know I'm not married?
- Well, are you?
844
00:52:51,721 --> 00:52:53,917
No, but I still
don't know you.
845
00:52:54,042 --> 00:52:57,351
Well, I don't know you either,
but that's sort of the point
of the date, right?
846
00:52:57,481 --> 00:52:59,790
I mean, you do eat, right?
It's just dinner.
847
00:52:59,921 --> 00:53:04,438
Yeah, I eat. I just haven't
been dating much recently.
848
00:53:04,562 --> 00:53:07,281
Okay. So we'll eat, we'll have
some light conversation...
849
00:53:07,402 --> 00:53:11,314
a few awkward silences, wine optional,
but definitely no dating.
850
00:53:11,441 --> 00:53:13,717
No dating.
851
00:53:13,841 --> 00:53:15,990
So, how does that sound?
852
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:17,440
Sounds manageable.
853
00:53:20,001 --> 00:53:22,117
- We're home!
- Hey!
- Dad, we finally made it!
854
00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:23,559
Hey! Oh!
855
00:53:23,681 --> 00:53:26,991
- Hi. Sorry I'm late.
Traffic was insane.
- Well...
856
00:53:27,121 --> 00:53:28,917
it's not quite burned, luckily.
857
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,316
Listen, do you mind if I don't
stay for dinner tonight?
858
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:32,998
- But it's roast beef night.
- Yuck!
859
00:53:33,121 --> 00:53:35,236
You're supposed to say roast "beast."
860
00:53:35,359 --> 00:53:37,395
Listen, tell Kelly
to get rid of that guy.
861
00:53:37,519 --> 00:53:40,238
- Tell her to lose the loser.
- I'm not having dinner with Kelly.
862
00:53:40,359 --> 00:53:43,669
Sam, honey, go upstairs
and wash your hands. And your face.
863
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,358
- I have a date.
- What?
864
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:47,912
- I have a date.
- No.
865
00:53:48,039 --> 00:53:49,758
- Yes.
- Who with?
866
00:53:49,878 --> 00:53:53,110
Ben Cooper, investment banker,
New York. Whoo!
867
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:55,115
Whoo! Whoo!
868
00:53:55,238 --> 00:53:56,957
Cor. What's he doing in L.A.?
869
00:53:57,079 --> 00:53:59,149
I don't know. He's working
on some kind of a takeover.
870
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:03,351
Takeover? Don't like the sound
of that. Is he attractive?
871
00:54:03,479 --> 00:54:06,040
- So our type.
- Which our type?
872
00:54:06,159 --> 00:54:07,511
Big hands. Mmm.
873
00:54:07,639 --> 00:54:10,072
Mmm. Does he, uh,
know about moi?
874
00:54:10,199 --> 00:54:13,986
Well, we didn't really get around
to frivolous details.
875
00:54:14,118 --> 00:54:15,995
Well, that's all very well,
but what's he gonna say when he arrives?
876
00:54:16,117 --> 00:54:17,995
What am I supposed to be,
Andre, the zany butler?
877
00:54:18,118 --> 00:54:20,234
- Just be yourself.
- Well, which me?
878
00:54:20,358 --> 00:54:23,111
English me? Cold, frosty me?
Frivolous me?
879
00:54:23,238 --> 00:54:24,466
How 'bout nice me?
880
00:54:25,518 --> 00:54:28,476
- Well, at your own risk, be it.
- Don't screw this up for me.
881
00:54:28,597 --> 00:54:30,667
Oh, Abbie, get out of the kitchen.
I can't concentrate.
882
00:54:30,798 --> 00:54:32,866
- Meanie bucket.
- I'll be up in five minutes...
883
00:54:32,997 --> 00:54:35,227
- to discuss wardrobe.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
884
00:54:36,717 --> 00:54:38,672
I see you
in a plunging neckline.
885
00:54:38,796 --> 00:54:40,752
No point in hiding your life
under your bushel.
886
00:54:41,757 --> 00:54:44,112
Everybody looks the same
887
00:54:45,516 --> 00:54:48,667
We're just tired
of looking at each other
888
00:54:53,797 --> 00:54:56,947
We're just tired
of looking at each other
889
00:54:58,475 --> 00:55:00,592
Hi, uh,
this Abbie Reynold's house?
890
00:55:05,436 --> 00:55:07,392
Come in. I'm sorry.
891
00:55:08,316 --> 00:55:10,387
I've always been longing to do that.
Come in. Robert.
892
00:55:13,156 --> 00:55:15,111
Abbie is, uh,
putting on her face.
893
00:55:15,236 --> 00:55:17,193
Well, at least one of them.
894
00:55:18,595 --> 00:55:20,550
She tells me
you're into takeovers.
895
00:55:20,675 --> 00:55:23,588
Well, what I'm doing right now
is actually closer to a merger.
896
00:55:23,714 --> 00:55:25,194
- Drink?
- No, thanks.
897
00:55:25,314 --> 00:55:27,589
- Sit.
- All right.
898
00:55:28,595 --> 00:55:30,630
Yeah, I take sick companies
and I make them well.
899
00:55:30,754 --> 00:55:32,506
I'm out here right now, uh..
900
00:55:32,634 --> 00:55:36,310
Well, I'm working with a Fortune 500
company that has fallen on hard times...
901
00:55:36,436 --> 00:55:39,666
and I've come to try
to resuscitate the..
902
00:55:39,794 --> 00:55:41,625
I'm sorry.
I'm rambling, huh?
903
00:55:41,754 --> 00:55:44,393
No, no, no, it's really interesting.
It's just it's also, uh, really long.
904
00:55:44,514 --> 00:55:47,233
Uh, do you mind if I take a Nelly break
and, uh, put on a record?
905
00:55:48,354 --> 00:55:50,423
- Uh, no.
- Good.
906
00:55:53,514 --> 00:55:55,584
- Frank or Judy?
- Pardon?
907
00:55:56,393 --> 00:55:59,989
- Frank or Judy?
- Uh, Frank, I guess.
908
00:56:00,113 --> 00:56:04,073
Oh, well, I'm afraid Frank's
feeling a little shy tonight,
but Judy's itching to go.
909
00:56:05,033 --> 00:56:08,184
I think you can tell a lot
by a man's musical preference, hmm?
910
00:56:08,313 --> 00:56:09,632
I guess so.
911
00:56:09,753 --> 00:56:12,426
I once met a truck driver, for example,
who loved Carly Simon.
912
00:56:12,552 --> 00:56:14,350
It was downhill from then on.
913
00:56:17,392 --> 00:56:20,271
Clang, clang, clang
went the trolley
914
00:56:20,392 --> 00:56:23,464
Ding, ding, ding went the bell
915
00:56:23,592 --> 00:56:26,231
Zing, zing, zing
went my heartstrings
916
00:56:26,352 --> 00:56:28,546
- From the moment I saw him I fell
- God, I love Judy Garland.
917
00:56:28,671 --> 00:56:32,870
- Excuse me, but, uh,
are you gay or...
- Chug, chug, chug went the motor
918
00:56:32,992 --> 00:56:35,789
- are you just acting gay?
- Bump, bump, bump
- Good question.
919
00:56:35,912 --> 00:56:39,143
- Went the train
- Are you interested,
or are you just acting interested?
920
00:56:39,272 --> 00:56:42,980
- Interested in what?
- Well, Abbie, of course.
921
00:56:43,111 --> 00:56:44,624
She's a very delicate flower,
you know.
922
00:56:46,032 --> 00:56:48,544
I'm sorry. Who are you?
923
00:56:48,671 --> 00:56:50,023
I'm Sam's father.
924
00:56:50,151 --> 00:56:52,108
Oh. Oh.
925
00:56:54,072 --> 00:56:56,904
I'm sorry. I guess I came
at a bad time, then.
You're here to pick up your son?
926
00:56:57,031 --> 00:56:59,180
No, I live here.
927
00:57:00,191 --> 00:57:03,148
Hey, Sammy.
Hey, little man.
928
00:57:03,270 --> 00:57:05,989
- How are you?
- "Sammy"?
929
00:57:06,111 --> 00:57:07,384
Hey, Sam.
930
00:57:09,190 --> 00:57:10,385
- Hi.
- Hi.
931
00:57:10,509 --> 00:57:13,024
- I'm ready, finally.
- Wow, you.. you look great.
932
00:57:13,151 --> 00:57:15,106
- You look great.
- "Sammy."
933
00:57:15,230 --> 00:57:17,346
I was, uh.. I was just talking
with your ex-husband.
934
00:57:17,470 --> 00:57:19,779
- We're not divorced.
- We're not even married.
935
00:57:19,911 --> 00:57:22,139
- Okay, I'm.. I'm lost.
- I'll tell you at dinner.
936
00:57:23,790 --> 00:57:25,222
Bye. Bye, Sam.
937
00:57:26,070 --> 00:57:28,061
- Don't stay up too late.
- Nice to meet you, Robert.
938
00:57:28,190 --> 00:57:30,862
- Nice to meet you. Take care.
- Bye.
939
00:57:30,990 --> 00:57:34,425
Yeah, keep in touch. I'll, uh,
tuck little "Sammy" in for both of us.
940
00:57:35,268 --> 00:57:37,941
Now, Sam,
turn this book upside down...
941
00:57:39,150 --> 00:57:42,619
and let's enter the world
of Princess Tiny fuse.
942
00:57:42,750 --> 00:57:43,704
Now.
943
00:57:49,268 --> 00:57:51,339
- No dating.
- Oh, right.
944
00:57:52,587 --> 00:57:54,544
Trust me,
it won't take that long.
945
00:57:56,308 --> 00:57:59,344
Hello. 8:00 reservation.
The name is Cooper.
946
00:57:59,467 --> 00:58:01,698
Well, it's, um,
going to be quite a wait.
947
00:58:01,828 --> 00:58:06,982
You can have a drink at the bar
if you like, and I'll have a table
for you in, oh, two hours?
948
00:58:07,107 --> 00:58:09,462
- Two hours?
- Oh, Mr Ross.
949
00:58:09,588 --> 00:58:11,737
- So good to see you again.
- Nice to be back.
950
00:58:11,868 --> 00:58:14,176
Okay. We'll have table 14
for Mr Ross tonight.
951
00:58:14,307 --> 00:58:15,342
Of course.
952
00:58:16,668 --> 00:58:20,376
So much for trying to impress you.
I'm gonna have a little fun. Humour me.
953
00:58:20,506 --> 00:58:21,860
Excuse me.
954
00:58:21,986 --> 00:58:25,900
Would it make a difference if I told you
that Harrison Ford is in our party?
955
00:58:27,907 --> 00:58:29,101
I'll be right back.
956
00:58:30,907 --> 00:58:32,306
Harrison Ford?
957
00:58:34,867 --> 00:58:36,299
- Mr Cooper?
- Yes.
958
00:58:36,426 --> 00:58:39,145
Yes, sure.
So nice to see you again.
959
00:58:39,266 --> 00:58:41,143
- And you.
- Would you follow me?
960
00:58:52,226 --> 00:58:53,898
Thank you.
961
00:58:55,386 --> 00:58:57,261
- Enjoy your dinner.
- Thank you.
962
00:59:03,465 --> 00:59:05,500
Okay, here's a toast to...
963
00:59:05,625 --> 00:59:08,186
discovering muscles in your body
you never knew existed.
964
00:59:08,306 --> 00:59:10,898
- And finding new ones.
- Mmm.
965
00:59:14,505 --> 00:59:17,541
So, what does an investment banker
do for fun?
966
00:59:17,665 --> 00:59:21,498
Well, of course,
I'm passionate about yoga...
967
00:59:21,624 --> 00:59:23,102
rock climbing,
uh, racquetball..
968
00:59:23,224 --> 00:59:27,502
- Racquetball?
- Really, I'm just a.. a workaholic.
969
00:59:27,624 --> 00:59:29,182
Do you have any pets?
970
00:59:29,304 --> 00:59:31,534
No pets, but I got a couple
of dead plants back in New York.
971
00:59:32,984 --> 00:59:35,737
- Favourite colour.
- All shades of pink.
972
00:59:38,063 --> 00:59:41,534
Well, you're perfectly presentable,
I assume successful...
973
00:59:43,143 --> 00:59:44,974
good sense of humour.
974
00:59:45,103 --> 00:59:46,821
- Thank you.
- So...
975
00:59:46,944 --> 00:59:48,342
- why are you..
- What?
976
00:59:48,464 --> 00:59:50,499
- Why am I unattached?
- Yeah.
977
00:59:50,622 --> 00:59:52,579
Exactly.
What's wrong with you?
978
00:59:53,783 --> 00:59:56,058
Been wondering
the same thing myself.
979
00:59:56,182 --> 00:59:57,935
You see anything obvious?
980
00:59:58,063 --> 01:00:00,259
- You do have a piece
of spinach in your teeth.
- Do l?
981
01:00:00,382 --> 01:00:02,691
Mm-hmm.Just kidding.
982
01:00:02,822 --> 01:00:06,132
That's good. I don't know. I guess
I never met the right woman.
983
01:00:07,582 --> 01:00:10,539
Or maybe I met her, but I wasn't
the right man at the right time.
984
01:00:12,062 --> 01:00:14,370
Anyway, that's my excuse.
What's yours?
985
01:00:14,502 --> 01:00:17,254
I decided to have a child
instead of a husband.
986
01:00:17,382 --> 01:00:20,180
- Couldn't you have both?
- Well, theoretically
I could have both...
987
01:00:20,302 --> 01:00:24,295
but if I waited around
long enough for the right man,
might not have had the right child.
988
01:00:25,542 --> 01:00:27,771
So, does Robert help out?
Is he a good father?
989
01:00:27,901 --> 01:00:29,413
He's the greatest.
990
01:00:30,541 --> 01:00:34,136
Hope you don't mind me asking,
but were you two ever together?
991
01:00:34,260 --> 01:00:39,130
Once, a very long time ago,
for about a half an hour.
992
01:00:39,260 --> 01:00:41,012
- Huh.
- Hmm.
993
01:00:41,140 --> 01:00:42,812
We're best friends.
994
01:00:44,741 --> 01:00:46,857
No, we're closer than that.
995
01:00:46,980 --> 01:00:48,459
Robert's my family.
996
01:01:00,619 --> 01:01:02,770
- Thank you very much, sir.
- How's everyone doing?
- Good.
997
01:01:02,900 --> 01:01:06,255
- Thank you very much, sir.
- Enjoying yourself, Mr Cooper?
998
01:01:06,380 --> 01:01:09,257
Dinner was superb. You clearly
live up to your reputation.
999
01:01:09,380 --> 01:01:11,529
But you, it seems, do not.
1000
01:01:11,660 --> 01:01:15,334
I hope you enjoyed your little joke
on me and this restaurant.
1001
01:01:15,459 --> 01:01:18,576
- What joke?
- You said Harrison Ford
was in your party.
1002
01:01:18,700 --> 01:01:21,418
No, what I said was,
"Would it make a difference...
1003
01:01:21,539 --> 01:01:24,337
if I told you Harrison Ford
was in our party?"
1004
01:01:24,458 --> 01:01:25,414
Clearly it did.
1005
01:01:46,458 --> 01:01:48,972
- Um, I guess I'd better go.
- Oh, okay.
1006
01:01:49,097 --> 01:01:50,929
You know, I'd ask you in,
but, uh...
1007
01:01:51,058 --> 01:01:53,013
you know, it's a long story.
1008
01:01:53,137 --> 01:01:54,810
- Anyway...
- All right.
1009
01:01:54,937 --> 01:01:57,372
- I had fun.
- Me too.
1010
01:01:58,856 --> 01:02:00,849
Will I see you again?
1011
01:02:00,977 --> 01:02:03,286
I think you're gonna see so much of me
you're gonna get sick of me.
1012
01:02:04,537 --> 01:02:06,732
Yeah. Listen.
1013
01:02:06,856 --> 01:02:09,132
I know this is
not really a date...
1014
01:02:09,257 --> 01:02:12,249
but I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to kiss you anyway.
1015
01:02:12,376 --> 01:02:14,333
Oh. All right.
1016
01:02:40,495 --> 01:02:42,486
Wow. I can't believe
how good that is.
1017
01:02:42,616 --> 01:02:44,526
I just have to tell you
one more thing.
1018
01:02:51,415 --> 01:02:54,327
- How was dinner?
- Well, I think I've just had...
1019
01:02:54,455 --> 01:02:56,571
possibly one of the best dates
I've ever had.
1020
01:02:56,694 --> 01:02:58,889
- Well, congratulations.
- Ever.
1021
01:02:59,015 --> 01:03:01,051
- Double congratulations.
- And you know what?
1022
01:03:02,015 --> 01:03:04,005
- What?
- You're such a jerk.
1023
01:03:05,014 --> 01:03:07,289
- What are you talking about?
- You were so rude to Ben.
1024
01:03:07,415 --> 01:03:08,688
- I was not rude to Ben.
- Yes, you were.
1025
01:03:08,813 --> 01:03:10,247
- I was my usual charming self.
- You practically slammed
the door in his face.
1026
01:03:10,374 --> 01:03:12,934
- I did not.
- Wait a second. You did
slam the door in his face.
1027
01:03:13,053 --> 01:03:15,648
Abbie, that was a joke.
Oh, God. I saw it in a play.
1028
01:03:15,774 --> 01:03:18,607
- Brought the house down. Sorry. Ha.
- Ha ha.
1029
01:03:21,773 --> 01:03:23,411
Are we a little tipsy?
1030
01:03:23,533 --> 01:03:26,001
Ben ordered the most
delicious wine in the universe.
1031
01:03:26,133 --> 01:03:29,408
- "Most delicious wine.."
- You're jealous.
1032
01:03:29,533 --> 01:03:31,205
- Oh, right.
- Why didn't I see it before?
1033
01:03:31,333 --> 01:03:34,245
- You're jealous
that I went out on a date.
- How could I possibly be jealous?
1034
01:03:34,373 --> 01:03:37,331
I'm the one that encouraged you
to go out more in the first place.
1035
01:03:38,772 --> 01:03:41,127
- What's so hilarious?
- Oh, nothing.
1036
01:03:41,253 --> 01:03:44,962
It was just something Ben said
at dinner. Sorry. You had to be there.
1037
01:03:45,733 --> 01:03:47,609
He's very perceptive, you know.
1038
01:03:47,732 --> 01:03:50,883
- Perceptive about me, I expect.
- Me, me, me, me, me.
1039
01:03:51,013 --> 01:03:53,606
Funnily enough, you were
hardly mentioned all evening...
1040
01:03:53,732 --> 01:03:57,281
other than discussing the fact that I
was turkey-basted by my gay best friend.
1041
01:03:57,412 --> 01:04:01,484
- You were not turkey-basted.
- Oh. Right.
1042
01:04:01,611 --> 01:04:04,410
- Did Sammy get to bed okay?
- Look, what's all
this "Sammy" business?
1043
01:04:04,531 --> 01:04:06,409
His name is Sam, all right.
He's not Sammy.
1044
01:04:06,531 --> 01:04:09,728
He's not Sammy Davis,Jr.
He's not The Rat Pack. He's just Sam.
1045
01:04:10,612 --> 01:04:14,081
Hmm. Well, I don't know what's wrong
with you, but I'm going to bed.
1046
01:04:16,211 --> 01:04:20,169
He was singin'
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
1047
01:04:20,291 --> 01:04:23,999
Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry
1048
01:04:24,130 --> 01:04:26,485
Them good ol' boys
were drinkin' whisky and rye
1049
01:04:26,610 --> 01:04:30,888
- Hey, Sammy, you wanna go in the water?
- Yeah!
- Singin' this'll be the day that I die
1050
01:04:31,010 --> 01:04:33,478
- This'll be the day that I die
- Hey, Dad, can I go in the water now?
1051
01:04:34,610 --> 01:04:36,727
- Sure.
- Can I take him in?
1052
01:04:36,850 --> 01:04:38,761
- Okay.
- Helter Skelter in a summer swelter
1053
01:04:38,890 --> 01:04:41,926
- I'm gonna throw you in! Throw him in!
- The birds flew off
to the fallout shelter
1054
01:04:42,050 --> 01:04:46,600
- No!
- Swim in tons of fishes!
- The day the music died
1055
01:04:46,729 --> 01:04:49,528
- Here we go. Here we go!
- He was singin'
1056
01:04:49,650 --> 01:04:51,720
- Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
- Oh, my God.
1057
01:04:51,849 --> 01:04:53,521
"Oh, my God" is right.
1058
01:04:53,649 --> 01:04:55,925
Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry
1059
01:04:56,049 --> 01:04:58,767
Them good ol' boys
were drinkin' whisky and rye
1060
01:04:58,889 --> 01:05:02,801
And singin' this'll be
the day that I die
1061
01:05:02,929 --> 01:05:05,522
This'll be the day that I die
1062
01:05:07,409 --> 01:05:09,285
They were singin'
1063
01:05:09,408 --> 01:05:13,321
- Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
- One!
1064
01:05:13,449 --> 01:05:15,644
- Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry
- No!
1065
01:05:15,768 --> 01:05:18,157
- No, Mommy!
- Two!
1066
01:05:18,288 --> 01:05:22,440
- Watch out! You're going in the water!
- Them good ol' boys
were drinkin' whisky and rye
1067
01:05:22,568 --> 01:05:27,163
- Singin' this'll be the day that I die
- Whoo!
1068
01:05:27,287 --> 01:05:28,243
It's freezin'.
1069
01:05:32,648 --> 01:05:34,798
- Hey, big wheel.
- Hi, Dad.
1070
01:05:34,928 --> 01:05:38,204
How are you? Your shoelace
is undone. I can do it up.
1071
01:05:38,327 --> 01:05:40,079
- I can do it.
- What?
1072
01:05:40,206 --> 01:05:43,563
- When did you learn how to do that?
- Ben teached me.
1073
01:05:43,687 --> 01:05:45,882
Oh. What else did Ben
"teached" you?
1074
01:05:52,207 --> 01:05:53,002
Crazy.
1075
01:06:15,126 --> 01:06:16,604
- Ben.
- Hmm?
1076
01:06:17,886 --> 01:06:21,162
- What's wrong with you?
- Why, is something wrong?
1077
01:06:21,286 --> 01:06:23,321
You haven't said a word to me
for ages.
1078
01:06:30,485 --> 01:06:32,282
See what I mean?
1079
01:06:32,405 --> 01:06:33,804
Abbie, um..
1080
01:06:35,684 --> 01:06:39,759
- We need to talk.
- "Talk." I don't like
the sound of that.
1081
01:06:39,884 --> 01:06:41,364
We're talking now, right?
1082
01:06:43,884 --> 01:06:44,999
Yeah.
1083
01:06:49,204 --> 01:06:53,277
- Oh, God, Ben, don't do this to me.
- Yeah, this is kinda hard for me too.
1084
01:06:53,404 --> 01:06:56,122
Hard for you?
What about me?
1085
01:06:56,243 --> 01:06:59,360
You know what? Don't even tell me, okay?
Because I already know
what you're gonna say.
1086
01:06:59,484 --> 01:07:03,078
- How do you know what I'm gonna say?
- Because I do. How many words?
1087
01:07:04,923 --> 01:07:06,039
- Five.
- Five.
1088
01:07:06,163 --> 01:07:07,960
I knew it.
1089
01:07:08,083 --> 01:07:09,961
"It's not you. It's me."
1090
01:07:11,204 --> 01:07:14,194
Couldn't you have been
just a little bit more original?
1091
01:07:14,323 --> 01:07:16,962
Like, um, "I need
to concentrate on my work"...
1092
01:07:17,082 --> 01:07:21,041
or, better yet, how 'bout, um,
"I'm getting back together again
with my ex-girlfriend."
1093
01:07:21,162 --> 01:07:25,600
- No, Abbie, come here, baby.
- I don't even know why
I wasted my time on you.
1094
01:07:25,723 --> 01:07:27,793
What, are you nuts? Come here.
Listen. Listen to me.
1095
01:07:27,922 --> 01:07:29,595
- Listen.
- Why?
1096
01:07:30,362 --> 01:07:33,400
I'm in love with you.
1097
01:07:37,643 --> 01:07:39,041
I'm in love with you.
1098
01:08:11,041 --> 01:08:13,951
- Hey, little man. You go first.
- Hello.
1099
01:08:17,881 --> 01:08:21,031
- Dad.
- Mm-hmm.
- Can I watch cartoons?
1100
01:08:21,160 --> 01:08:24,277
- What time is it?
- The little hand is on the eight.
1101
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:27,233
No. No, the seven.
1102
01:08:27,359 --> 01:08:30,352
Sam. Will you just..
1103
01:08:30,480 --> 01:08:32,754
Just watch cartoons in an hour.
Go back to sleep for a while.
1104
01:08:32,880 --> 01:08:34,472
Mm, okay.
1105
01:08:38,079 --> 01:08:40,035
Is Ben my daddy now?
1106
01:08:42,919 --> 01:08:43,874
What?
1107
01:08:47,119 --> 01:08:49,507
- Okay, well, let's get
just one thing straight.
- Please, Robert.
1108
01:08:49,639 --> 01:08:51,788
- I can't believe you let this happen.
I mean, what were you thinking?
- Calm down, Robert.
1109
01:08:51,919 --> 01:08:53,796
Sam sees a stranger in his bedroom
in the morning.
1110
01:08:53,919 --> 01:08:55,795
- You probably traumatized him.
- Ben is hardly a strange man.
1111
01:08:55,918 --> 01:08:57,397
- I'm sorry. I thought I was gonna
be gone by the time he woke up.
- Sam adores him.
1112
01:08:57,518 --> 01:08:59,395
Sam is confused by him,
and you're not helping matters.
1113
01:08:59,518 --> 01:09:01,510
What exactly do you think
is going on between us?
1114
01:09:01,638 --> 01:09:05,314
I don't care
what's going on between you.
I just don't want it to go on here.
1115
01:09:05,437 --> 01:09:07,394
We're getting married.
1116
01:09:08,199 --> 01:09:11,587
- What?
- We've been trying to figure out
a way to tell you.
1117
01:09:13,398 --> 01:09:15,354
Well, let me give you
one little tiny hint.
1118
01:09:15,478 --> 01:09:18,311
Letting Sam discover you in bed with him
is not what I'd call a subtle approach.
1119
01:09:18,436 --> 01:09:21,475
We didn't exactly plan it
this way, okay? Now you know.
So let's talk about it.
1120
01:09:21,597 --> 01:09:23,474
Talk about it? I've only had
five seconds to think about it.
1121
01:09:23,597 --> 01:09:26,589
You're the ones that have had
the luxury of mulling this over.
What do you think about it?
1122
01:09:26,717 --> 01:09:28,867
- I don't know.
- Well, that's a fine place to start.
1123
01:09:28,997 --> 01:09:33,593
Look, Robert, I just want us
all to get along. I'm not here
to usurp your position.
1124
01:09:33,717 --> 01:09:36,106
- I think you're a great dad.
- That's mighty big of you, Ben.
1125
01:09:36,237 --> 01:09:39,309
Stop it, Robert! The last thing
that we want to do is hurt you.
1126
01:09:39,437 --> 01:09:41,154
- "We, we, we." What's all
this "we" all of a sudden?
- Shh!
1127
01:09:41,276 --> 01:09:43,346
The fact of the matter is,
we need to work this out together.
1128
01:09:43,476 --> 01:09:46,354
Well, let me tell you one thing
straight away. Sam has one father.
1129
01:09:46,477 --> 01:09:49,387
There's only one daddy in this family,
and that is me! I'm the daddy!
1130
01:09:49,515 --> 01:09:51,267
- Absolutely!
- Absolutely!
- You're the mummy...
1131
01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:52,545
and Ben..
1132
01:09:53,876 --> 01:09:55,151
Ben is just Ben.
1133
01:09:56,396 --> 01:09:59,991
Now, when it comes to any decisions
involving Sam, I get a say
and Abbie gets a say.
1134
01:10:00,116 --> 01:10:04,313
If Sam wants ice cream, and I say no,
I don't want to hear
that you two said yes.
1135
01:10:04,435 --> 01:10:06,949
I don't want to be outvoted.
This is not a democracy.
1136
01:10:07,075 --> 01:10:11,467
Oh, and one more thing.
He's not moving in here.
1137
01:10:16,114 --> 01:10:18,674
By the way, congratulations.
1138
01:10:26,794 --> 01:10:29,262
Attention, shoppers.
At the meat counter...
1139
01:10:29,395 --> 01:10:32,033
Le Grand Balu, your big salami.
1140
01:10:32,155 --> 01:10:34,032
- Eighty-nine cents an inch.
- Mom?
- Mm-hmm.
1141
01:10:34,155 --> 01:10:38,147
Why is Ben making dinner tonight?
We're supposed to have roast beast
on Thursdays.
1142
01:10:38,274 --> 01:10:41,265
Because Ben's making something special
for dinner tonight.
1143
01:10:41,393 --> 01:10:44,351
It's a cross between a noodle
and a dumpling, only lighter.
1144
01:10:44,473 --> 01:10:46,430
- It's German.
- It sounds potentially hazardous...
1145
01:10:46,554 --> 01:10:48,623
and utterly delicious.
1146
01:10:49,673 --> 01:10:52,983
So, uh, have you requested a transfer
from your New York office yet?
1147
01:10:53,114 --> 01:10:56,071
- Yeah, I did.
- How'd they take it?
1148
01:10:56,193 --> 01:10:58,263
Well, it's a little complicated,
actually.
1149
01:11:00,232 --> 01:11:03,225
- They offered me a partnership.
- Hey, congratulations.
1150
01:11:03,353 --> 01:11:06,265
- Out here?
- Well, no. It'd be back east.
1151
01:11:07,472 --> 01:11:09,464
So what did you tell them?
1152
01:11:12,193 --> 01:11:15,548
- So what did you tell them, Ben?
- I told them I'd have to think about it.
1153
01:11:15,672 --> 01:11:19,382
Well, you two aren't gonna try
that long-distance thing, are you?
That never works.
1154
01:11:20,632 --> 01:11:22,827
Look, if I don't accept their offer,
I'll have to leave the firm.
1155
01:11:22,951 --> 01:11:25,307
I've been with them
for 15 years, Robert.
1156
01:11:26,751 --> 01:11:30,266
Immediate clean-up, aisle three.
Aisle three clean-up
immediately, please.
1157
01:11:30,392 --> 01:11:32,541
Daddy will always be your father.
1158
01:11:32,671 --> 01:11:35,027
- Ben will be your stepfather.
- Like in Cinderella?
1159
01:11:35,151 --> 01:11:38,542
Kind of. Except that Ben
is really nice.
1160
01:11:38,672 --> 01:11:41,424
- And we're all gonna live happily ever..
- What are you saying?
1161
01:11:41,551 --> 01:11:45,067
Your career's more important
than my career? Let me
just tell you one thing, Ben.
1162
01:11:45,191 --> 01:11:48,978
Moving to New York is not an option.
What am I gonna do?
Sell pretzels from a pushcart?
1163
01:11:49,110 --> 01:11:52,181
Robert, don't get upset.
It just happened.
1164
01:11:52,310 --> 01:11:54,505
- We haven't figured everything out yet.
- I didn't even say
I was gonna do it.
1165
01:11:54,630 --> 01:11:58,307
- Yeah, but you didn't say you weren't.
- Can we please take this outside?
1166
01:11:58,430 --> 01:12:00,944
- Christ!
- Sam, come on, please. Help me unload.
1167
01:12:02,991 --> 01:12:05,299
- Will you move it along?
- Robert!
1168
01:12:06,471 --> 01:12:07,425
Move!
1169
01:12:08,429 --> 01:12:11,865
I'll tell you one thing.
You're not taking Sam.
1170
01:12:11,989 --> 01:12:13,388
- Take me where, Daddy?
- Robert.
1171
01:12:13,510 --> 01:12:14,989
The cement capital
of the United States, Sam.
1172
01:12:15,109 --> 01:12:16,748
- I don't want to go
to the cement capital of the Uni..
- Robert!
1173
01:12:16,869 --> 01:12:18,461
- You're telling me.
- Robert, that's it.
1174
01:12:18,589 --> 01:12:21,422
You wanna talk about this
right now? Huh?
1175
01:12:21,549 --> 01:12:25,428
You got some incredible burning need,
fine, but we are not gonna do it
in front of Sam.
1176
01:12:25,549 --> 01:12:27,028
- Come on, Sam.
- See what you did? You just upset, Sam.
1177
01:12:27,149 --> 01:12:30,107
- What are you talking about?
- This is all your fault. Everything
was just fine till you came along.
1178
01:12:30,229 --> 01:12:33,187
- Everything was not fine!
- Listen, no one's trying
to take anything away from you.
1179
01:12:33,309 --> 01:12:35,869
- We just wanna figure out
what makes sense.
- Well, me and Sam,
we have our home here.
1180
01:12:35,989 --> 01:12:37,740
We have our lives here.
If you're so unhappy..
1181
01:12:37,868 --> 01:12:40,303
I've never been happier in my life!
You're the one that's unhappy!
1182
01:12:40,428 --> 01:12:41,498
- No, no, no, no.
We made an arrangement.
- Has it ever occurred..
1183
01:12:41,628 --> 01:12:43,540
We made an arrangement to put
this kid first, come what may...
1184
01:12:43,668 --> 01:12:45,977
- but you just want to throw it
all away on a whim!
- Ben is not a whim!
1185
01:12:46,108 --> 01:12:48,622
- Oh, yeah?
- Hasn't it occurred to you
that we could work something out?
1186
01:12:48,748 --> 01:12:50,704
- Come on, Sam. Let's go.
- What do you think you're doing?
1187
01:12:50,827 --> 01:12:52,146
- Gonna walk home.
- Look, you're not walking.
1188
01:12:52,268 --> 01:12:55,624
- It's only six blocks. I just
can't be with you guys right now.
- Robert! Sammy, come back here.
1189
01:12:55,748 --> 01:12:57,499
Robert!
1190
01:12:57,627 --> 01:13:00,824
- We're gonna race you home, Mommy.
- Good. Perfect.
1191
01:13:00,948 --> 01:13:03,507
- Sammy!
- Come on, come on.
Faster, faster, faster.
1192
01:13:07,588 --> 01:13:09,101
I hate childproof caps.
1193
01:13:10,466 --> 01:13:12,663
I told you, Robert.
I told you at the very beginning.
1194
01:13:12,787 --> 01:13:16,176
You should have insisted upon getting
married. Then you would have rights.
Look what happened to me.
1195
01:13:16,305 --> 01:13:19,582
I have rights now. They're not
going anywhere. Full stop. The end.
1196
01:13:19,707 --> 01:13:22,141
You need to talk to an attorney.
Just a consultation.
1197
01:13:22,267 --> 01:13:25,178
- A couple hundred bucks.
Know where you stand.
- I know where I stand, David. Trust me.
1198
01:13:25,307 --> 01:13:27,298
- I'm not gonna see an attorney.
- I'll bet she is.
1199
01:13:30,986 --> 01:13:34,262
Stupid pills. I can't even
tell if they're working.
1200
01:13:34,386 --> 01:13:36,502
So stop taking them, and if you die,
you'll know they work.
1201
01:13:38,946 --> 01:13:40,823
Yeah. Better safe
than sorry, you mean.
1202
01:13:40,945 --> 01:13:43,255
Mm-hmm. Better safe than sorry.
1203
01:13:43,385 --> 01:13:44,864
Go talk to a lawyer.
1204
01:13:54,106 --> 01:13:55,059
Abbie?
1205
01:13:56,545 --> 01:13:57,694
Abbie?
1206
01:14:18,064 --> 01:14:20,453
Those are good arguments, Robert.
1207
01:14:20,584 --> 01:14:26,295
You're the biological father,
and obviously you're a caring person.
You've been involved.
1208
01:14:26,424 --> 01:14:29,700
We've got a decent chance at joint
custody, and if we can get that...
1209
01:14:29,824 --> 01:14:32,896
we'll be able to keep her
from leaving the state with Sam.
1210
01:14:33,024 --> 01:14:35,537
Now, the fact that you're gay
isn't gonna help us...
1211
01:14:35,663 --> 01:14:38,302
and if this goes to court, we better
hope for a sympathetic judge...
1212
01:14:38,424 --> 01:14:42,211
and I could tell you right now
there aren't many of them.
1213
01:14:42,343 --> 01:14:44,858
Uh, are there any grounds
on which you can demonstrate...
1214
01:14:44,983 --> 01:14:47,212
that Ms Reynolds
is a bad mother?
1215
01:14:49,663 --> 01:14:52,257
- No.
- Can she, uh, and Mr Cooper...
1216
01:14:52,383 --> 01:14:54,180
provide a roof over Sam's head?
1217
01:14:54,302 --> 01:14:56,532
- Mm-hmm.
- Does she have a drinking problem?
1218
01:14:56,662 --> 01:14:58,573
- No.
- Drug problem?
1219
01:14:58,703 --> 01:15:00,533
- No.
- Is she a smoker?
1220
01:15:00,662 --> 01:15:02,971
Smoking's grounds for custody?
1221
01:15:03,101 --> 01:15:06,731
There's a case in Massachusetts right
now testing the waters. You never know.
1222
01:15:06,861 --> 01:15:11,378
No, I, uh, I made her
give up ten years ago. Idiot.
1223
01:15:12,661 --> 01:15:15,971
All righty, let's see.
Uh, is she promiscuous?
1224
01:15:16,101 --> 01:15:17,978
- No.
- Abusive?
1225
01:15:18,102 --> 01:15:20,297
- Uh-uh.
- Mentally unstable?
1226
01:15:20,421 --> 01:15:22,935
- No.
- Emotionally unstable?
1227
01:15:26,661 --> 01:15:28,617
Well, not until now.
1228
01:15:56,020 --> 01:15:58,328
Hey. Why are you awake?
1229
01:15:58,459 --> 01:16:00,928
I was thinking about Daddy.
1230
01:16:01,059 --> 01:16:03,369
Yeah?
What were you thinkin'?
1231
01:16:06,859 --> 01:16:10,817
You know when I get a stomachache,
and you make me tea and toast?
1232
01:16:10,938 --> 01:16:12,577
Yeah.
1233
01:16:12,698 --> 01:16:16,054
Well, if Dad gets
a stomachache...
1234
01:16:16,179 --> 01:16:18,135
who's gonna make him
tea and toast?
1235
01:16:19,619 --> 01:16:22,292
When Daddy gets sick
or when I get sick...
1236
01:16:22,418 --> 01:16:25,808
we make our own tea and toast,
because we're grown-ups.
1237
01:16:25,938 --> 01:16:28,817
- It's not the same.
- No, I know.
1238
01:16:28,938 --> 01:16:30,576
It isn't the same.
1239
01:16:30,697 --> 01:16:34,577
Daddy's fine.
He doesn't have a stomachache.
1240
01:16:35,778 --> 01:16:39,453
I'm afraid that Daddy doesn't know
that I love him.
1241
01:16:40,457 --> 01:16:42,687
Oh, honey,
Daddy knows you love him.
1242
01:16:44,857 --> 01:16:47,736
If you like, you can call him
in the morning and you can tell him.
1243
01:16:48,658 --> 01:16:50,807
- Would you like that?
- Yeah.
1244
01:16:53,057 --> 01:16:57,209
- Can I sleep with you a little while?
- Mm, yeah.
1245
01:16:57,337 --> 01:16:58,486
Okay.
1246
01:17:03,576 --> 01:17:06,455
- I love you, Mommy.
- What, baby?
1247
01:17:06,576 --> 01:17:07,850
I love you, Mommy.
1248
01:17:09,095 --> 01:17:12,055
- But I love Daddy too.
- I know.
1249
01:17:27,536 --> 01:17:28,809
Can I come in?
1250
01:17:32,496 --> 01:17:34,292
I got the summons.
1251
01:17:34,415 --> 01:17:36,564
Well, I assumed
you already had a toaster.
1252
01:17:37,335 --> 01:17:38,893
Please don't go
through with this.
1253
01:17:40,375 --> 01:17:42,935
- You gave me no choice.
- You scared me.
1254
01:17:43,054 --> 01:17:45,444
Why? What do you think
I was gonna do?
1255
01:17:45,575 --> 01:17:49,045
Something crazy,
like kidnap Sam before you did?
1256
01:17:49,175 --> 01:17:52,689
I had to. The situation was just
becoming too unhealthy for him.
1257
01:17:54,174 --> 01:17:57,689
Unhealthy for Sam,
or inconvenient for you and Ben?
1258
01:17:58,814 --> 01:18:02,443
You know what Ben means to me.
Why can't you just give me this chance?
1259
01:18:02,573 --> 01:18:03,803
Why? Why should I?
1260
01:18:07,174 --> 01:18:08,572
Because you love me.
1261
01:18:10,414 --> 01:18:11,688
I love Sam.
1262
01:18:13,413 --> 01:18:15,291
Look, why can't we
just find a solution.
1263
01:18:15,413 --> 01:18:17,974
- So you do what you want.Just bring
Sam back, or the courts will.
- No.
1264
01:18:18,094 --> 01:18:19,129
- That's not what my lawyer says.
- No, they won't.
1265
01:18:19,253 --> 01:18:21,130
She says I have a good chance.
I have legal rights.
1266
01:18:21,253 --> 01:18:23,608
- Robert, no.
- Yes!
- Robert.
1267
01:18:27,812 --> 01:18:29,882
Robert,
you're not Sam's father.
1268
01:18:30,813 --> 01:18:34,328
- What you talking about?
- I'm saying you're not
his biological father.
1269
01:18:34,452 --> 01:18:36,647
My God. You'll say anything
to get your own way, won't you?
1270
01:18:36,773 --> 01:18:39,570
You don't know how much
I wish it wasn't true.
1271
01:18:39,691 --> 01:18:41,569
You didn't sleep with anybody else.
I would have known.
1272
01:18:41,692 --> 01:18:44,412
You didn't open a can of tuna without
giving me a 20-minute field report.
1273
01:18:47,851 --> 01:18:48,841
Liar.
1274
01:18:50,172 --> 01:18:52,049
- You're a fucking liar!
- No!
1275
01:18:52,171 --> 01:18:54,048
Remember when Sam
had his tonsils out?
1276
01:18:54,171 --> 01:18:57,767
Okay, they did a blood test.
He's B-positive, and we're both O.
1277
01:19:01,852 --> 01:19:05,002
You've known about this for three years,
and you didn't tell me?
1278
01:19:05,131 --> 01:19:06,085
I couldn't.
1279
01:19:06,211 --> 01:19:07,929
I didn't know how to.
1280
01:19:08,051 --> 01:19:10,849
But that means,
right from the very beginning...
1281
01:19:10,971 --> 01:19:12,927
you always knew
there was a chance..
1282
01:19:14,090 --> 01:19:15,843
Oh, my God,
I can't even remember his name.
1283
01:19:15,971 --> 01:19:19,042
- I never believed that it was Kevin's.
- Kevin.
1284
01:19:19,170 --> 01:19:22,720
And besides, I wanted the father to be
the most wonderful man that I knew.
1285
01:19:22,851 --> 01:19:24,169
I didn't wanna hurt you.
1286
01:19:26,250 --> 01:19:27,444
You betrayed me!
1287
01:19:31,290 --> 01:19:33,359
I was thinking
it didn't matter anyway.
1288
01:19:33,490 --> 01:19:34,717
Why?
1289
01:19:34,850 --> 01:19:37,762
Because you're his father
in every way that really counts.
1290
01:19:37,889 --> 01:19:39,607
The blood is irrelevant.
1291
01:19:40,890 --> 01:19:42,845
It's not so irrelevant now, is it?
1292
01:19:43,889 --> 01:19:45,925
It doesn't change a damn thing.
1293
01:19:47,129 --> 01:19:49,245
I'm sorry, Robert.
Believe me, it does.
1294
01:19:51,129 --> 01:19:53,485
If you take me to court,
then this is going with me.
1295
01:19:54,809 --> 01:19:58,165
For Sam's sake,
please don't take it this far.
1296
01:19:58,289 --> 01:20:00,007
So what are you offering me?
1297
01:20:00,808 --> 01:20:02,561
Three weeks in the summer?
1298
01:20:02,689 --> 01:20:04,725
A photograph to put
on my refrigerator door?
1299
01:20:06,409 --> 01:20:07,807
You owe me more than that.
1300
01:20:07,929 --> 01:20:10,316
I don't owe you
the rest of my life.
1301
01:20:10,448 --> 01:20:12,404
And what about Sam's life?
1302
01:20:13,648 --> 01:20:15,639
What about my life?
1303
01:20:26,487 --> 01:20:30,560
Okay. So Sam has a biological father
who doesn't know anything about him.
1304
01:20:30,687 --> 01:20:32,917
The chances are pretty good
he doesn't wanna know.
1305
01:20:33,047 --> 01:20:35,925
Uh, we could argue some sort
of malicious intent...
1306
01:20:36,046 --> 01:20:39,165
on her part
to conceal that information...
1307
01:20:39,287 --> 01:20:41,641
and, uh, it would
probably hurt her.
1308
01:20:41,766 --> 01:20:44,439
On the other hand, I don't see
how it can possibly help you.
1309
01:20:44,567 --> 01:20:47,923
The courts always try to link
parental rights to biology...
1310
01:20:48,046 --> 01:20:50,764
except in cases where the child's life
is in extreme danger.
1311
01:20:52,687 --> 01:20:56,280
I don't know what to tell you,
Robert. You don't have a case.
1312
01:20:57,405 --> 01:20:59,761
Oh, but six years. I mean,
it's gotta count for something.
1313
01:20:59,887 --> 01:21:03,844
- We can still go to court, right?
- Well, anybody can go to court,
but if you want my advice..
1314
01:21:05,485 --> 01:21:07,441
I won't give up Sam.
1315
01:21:08,365 --> 01:21:11,721
Then take Abbie up
on her offer to compromise.
1316
01:21:11,845 --> 01:21:13,801
Maybe we can work something out
privately...
1317
01:21:13,924 --> 01:21:16,280
before this gets any uglier
or more expensive.
1318
01:21:16,406 --> 01:21:17,804
It doesn't matter.
1319
01:21:17,926 --> 01:21:20,200
She's got to acknowledge
my rights as a father.
1320
01:21:20,325 --> 01:21:23,283
Robert, do you understand
that a case like this can break you?
1321
01:21:24,526 --> 01:21:27,163
And in the end,
you probably won't have Sam.
1322
01:21:41,523 --> 01:21:42,843
I'll just be a minute.
1323
01:21:53,842 --> 01:21:57,040
Your mother says your lawyer
told you to drop the case.
1324
01:21:57,163 --> 01:21:59,723
Well, you know lawyers.
Always out to save you a buck.
1325
01:21:59,844 --> 01:22:02,516
- Can't say that
any of this surprises me.
- Oh, don't start on me now, Dad.
1326
01:22:02,643 --> 01:22:04,794
I know I should never have stuck my toes
in the gene pool in the first place...
1327
01:22:04,924 --> 01:22:07,801
but if you've come here to tell me
"I told you so," say it and let's
get on to something else, okay?
1328
01:22:09,323 --> 01:22:12,041
You're going to need a little help if
you're going to get my grandson back.
1329
01:22:12,162 --> 01:22:15,040
- He's not your grandson.
- Well, he's the closest I'll ever see.
1330
01:22:21,083 --> 01:22:23,437
Now, that's not a gift.
1331
01:22:23,563 --> 01:22:26,793
Perhaps you can come and fix up
our garden sometime.
1332
01:22:34,482 --> 01:22:35,755
Thanks, Dad.
1333
01:22:37,961 --> 01:22:41,238
Get your boy back.
You need to.
1334
01:22:57,200 --> 01:22:59,840
Robert.
They're ready for us.
1335
01:23:08,960 --> 01:23:11,030
Don't look over there.
You'll just get upset.
1336
01:23:11,760 --> 01:23:14,434
I've gone over
your preliminary statements.
1337
01:23:14,561 --> 01:23:17,198
Ms Reynolds,
you and Mr Cooper...
1338
01:23:17,320 --> 01:23:19,594
are presently not married,
is that right?
1339
01:23:19,720 --> 01:23:22,029
Yes, Your Honour,
but we're engaged.
1340
01:23:22,160 --> 01:23:25,356
It's a very short engagement.
Later this summer we..
1341
01:23:25,479 --> 01:23:28,950
The child's natural father..
he has no interest here?
1342
01:23:29,080 --> 01:23:30,194
No.
1343
01:23:31,198 --> 01:23:33,839
Mr Whittaker,
you're requesting joint custody.
1344
01:23:33,960 --> 01:23:35,597
Yes, Your Honour.
1345
01:23:35,719 --> 01:23:37,709
What makes you think
you're entitled to that?
1346
01:23:39,118 --> 01:23:42,953
- Well, I've been Sam's father since..
- Objection. Your Honour...
1347
01:23:44,118 --> 01:23:47,190
since Mr Whittaker has neither legal
nor biological paternity here...
1348
01:23:47,319 --> 01:23:49,832
it is completely inappropriate
for him to refer to himself...
1349
01:23:49,958 --> 01:23:51,550
as "the father."
1350
01:23:51,679 --> 01:23:53,589
Perhaps he could use the term...
1351
01:23:53,718 --> 01:23:55,390
"caregiver"?
1352
01:23:55,517 --> 01:23:56,588
"Caregiver"?
1353
01:23:56,717 --> 01:23:58,867
Your Honour, my client has been
living with Ms Reynolds...
1354
01:23:58,998 --> 01:24:00,317
since the child was born.
1355
01:24:00,438 --> 01:24:02,553
He's performed
all the daily functions of a father.
1356
01:24:02,678 --> 01:24:04,872
Sam acknowledges him
as his father.
1357
01:24:04,997 --> 01:24:10,025
For the sake of clarity,
I think it's best that Mr Whittaker
be referred to as caregiver...
1358
01:24:10,157 --> 01:24:11,910
in these proceedings.
1359
01:24:12,037 --> 01:24:13,390
Thank you, Your Honour.
1360
01:24:14,318 --> 01:24:15,591
Mr Whittaker...
1361
01:24:15,717 --> 01:24:19,470
did you live for five years
with a certain Eric Walker?
1362
01:24:19,597 --> 01:24:20,747
Yes.
1363
01:24:20,877 --> 01:24:22,548
And what was the nature
of that relationship?
1364
01:24:22,676 --> 01:24:24,632
- Objection, Your Honour.
- Overruled.
1365
01:24:24,757 --> 01:24:25,985
We were together.
1366
01:24:26,117 --> 01:24:29,825
Is this the same Eric Walker that's now
serving a five-year prison sentence
for drug possession?
1367
01:24:29,956 --> 01:24:33,347
Yes, but I haven't seen him
for seven years. This has
nothing to do with anything.
1368
01:24:34,076 --> 01:24:36,306
Mr Whittaker,
on October 8th of last year...
1369
01:24:36,436 --> 01:24:40,146
did you go to a nightclub
in Santa Monica called...
1370
01:24:40,277 --> 01:24:42,392
Sit and Spin?
1371
01:24:44,516 --> 01:24:45,710
I don't remember.
1372
01:24:46,716 --> 01:24:48,785
Sit and Spin's
a gay club, isn't it?
1373
01:24:48,916 --> 01:24:51,874
- I hadn't noticed. Probably.
- Did you notice drug use going on?
1374
01:24:51,995 --> 01:24:53,633
- No.
- Mr Whittaker, is it true...
1375
01:24:53,754 --> 01:24:56,553
that you're an active member
in several militant gay organizations?
1376
01:24:56,675 --> 01:24:59,314
I used to help distribute food to AIDS
patients. I'd hardly call that militant.
1377
01:24:59,436 --> 01:25:02,745
- Does Sam understand that you're gay?
- No, not really.
1378
01:25:02,876 --> 01:25:05,264
Have you ever tried to explain to him
your sexual proclivities?
1379
01:25:05,395 --> 01:25:06,953
No, he's a six-year-old boy.
1380
01:25:08,555 --> 01:25:11,592
Wait. He once asked me
why I didn't sleep with his mother.
1381
01:25:11,715 --> 01:25:13,909
- And what did you tell him?
- She snores.
1382
01:25:15,394 --> 01:25:18,751
Mr Whittaker, has Sam ever seen you
have oral sex with another man?
1383
01:25:18,875 --> 01:25:20,193
- What?
- Stop it!
1384
01:25:20,314 --> 01:25:22,953
- Objection, Your Honour!
- I said stop it.
1385
01:25:23,074 --> 01:25:25,668
Counsel, I suggest
you confer with your client.
1386
01:25:29,754 --> 01:25:32,063
- Do you wanna win here, Abbie?
- You said he didn't have a chance.
1387
01:25:32,193 --> 01:25:34,344
- You don't have to kick
the shit out of him.
- Your Honour...
1388
01:25:34,473 --> 01:25:37,033
this hearing is not about
my client's sexual history.
1389
01:25:37,154 --> 01:25:38,745
No, it's about his character...
1390
01:25:38,873 --> 01:25:41,593
and whether he has the type of character
that would lead anyone to trust him...
1391
01:25:41,714 --> 01:25:44,273
with shared custody
of a young boy.
1392
01:25:44,393 --> 01:25:45,427
Your Honour...
1393
01:25:45,553 --> 01:25:47,225
you want to know
about my character?
1394
01:25:47,353 --> 01:25:48,866
I'll tell you.
1395
01:25:48,993 --> 01:25:51,790
I am an active father.
1396
01:25:51,912 --> 01:25:53,709
- Caregiver, please.
- Father!
1397
01:25:57,233 --> 01:26:00,747
I'm a father to a boy
who I love to death.
1398
01:26:02,353 --> 01:26:04,866
I've been living with a woman
who until recently...
1399
01:26:04,992 --> 01:26:06,948
was my best friend
in the whole world.
1400
01:26:07,992 --> 01:26:10,301
I'm also a homosexual man.
1401
01:26:11,672 --> 01:26:12,865
That's who I am.
1402
01:26:15,552 --> 01:26:18,509
- What does that make me?
- I don't know.
1403
01:26:18,631 --> 01:26:21,510
- A hypocrite?
- Your Honour, objection!
1404
01:26:21,631 --> 01:26:24,225
- I withdraw the comment.
- It's getting late.
1405
01:26:24,351 --> 01:26:26,741
We'll take a recess
until Monday morning.
1406
01:26:26,872 --> 01:26:29,339
Ms Reynolds,
you will allow Mr Whittaker...
1407
01:26:29,471 --> 01:26:31,826
a visitation with Sam
this Sunday.
1408
01:26:36,712 --> 01:26:40,750
Stayed true to the things
I knew when I was younger
1409
01:26:42,151 --> 01:26:45,142
Food and love, that's all
that's left of hunger
1410
01:26:45,270 --> 01:26:46,942
...at least
another three singles.
1411
01:26:47,070 --> 01:26:50,779
I mean, we're just gonna have to dump
the album. How much money
have we invested in these guys so far?
1412
01:26:50,910 --> 01:26:53,788
Yeah, we're not gonna spend
another dime. Oh, please.
1413
01:26:53,910 --> 01:26:55,230
Like I care.
1414
01:26:56,429 --> 01:26:58,068
Excuse me.
1415
01:27:00,390 --> 01:27:01,903
I'll call you back.
1416
01:27:04,429 --> 01:27:07,865
You probably don't remember me.
At least, uh, I hope you don't.
1417
01:27:07,990 --> 01:27:10,025
Oh, I.. I remember you.
1418
01:27:10,149 --> 01:27:12,538
I need to talk to you
about something important.
1419
01:27:14,189 --> 01:27:16,144
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna make a scene.
1420
01:27:22,029 --> 01:27:24,259
After Abbie and you split up...
1421
01:27:24,389 --> 01:27:26,266
did you ever see each other again?
1422
01:27:27,869 --> 01:27:30,985
- Maybe one more time?
- I don't know.
What business is it of yours?
1423
01:27:35,988 --> 01:27:36,977
His name's Sam.
1424
01:27:39,428 --> 01:27:41,543
- What?
- Just turned six.
1425
01:27:44,948 --> 01:27:47,587
- Oh, no way, man!
- Come on. Look. He's got your chin.
1426
01:27:48,708 --> 01:27:50,903
I'm an idiot.
I didn't see it before.
1427
01:27:51,948 --> 01:27:54,780
Look, if she sent you here
looking for money, this isn't
exactly the right time.
1428
01:27:54,906 --> 01:27:58,821
No, no. As a matter of fact,
she's counting on you having
absolutely no interest at all.
1429
01:27:58,947 --> 01:28:01,859
- So what's this got to do with me?
- I need your help.
1430
01:28:11,227 --> 01:28:12,865
Hey, Sam!
1431
01:28:16,587 --> 01:28:17,940
Slow down!
1432
01:28:19,467 --> 01:28:20,978
Ya-hoo!
1433
01:28:21,106 --> 01:28:23,097
Come on. Come on. Turn right!
Turn right! Turn right!
1434
01:28:23,227 --> 01:28:24,865
- Wow!
- Okay, let's go.
1435
01:28:26,865 --> 01:28:28,821
You can't get me!
Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!
1436
01:28:28,946 --> 01:28:31,141
- I can get you back.
- Ha! I got you!
1437
01:28:31,266 --> 01:28:33,699
Hey, Kevin.
Glad you could come.
1438
01:28:33,825 --> 01:28:36,942
Sam, this is an old friend
of mine, Kevin. Say hi.
1439
01:28:37,066 --> 01:28:39,102
- Hi.
- No, say hi properly.
1440
01:28:40,905 --> 01:28:42,896
It's very nice to meet you.
1441
01:28:44,705 --> 01:28:46,660
Sam. That's a good name.
1442
01:28:50,986 --> 01:28:52,861
It's full of Japanese people.
1443
01:28:56,945 --> 01:28:58,823
- Is it true, or are you joking?
- What?
1444
01:28:58,944 --> 01:29:01,412
Is that true about the tidal wave?
Will it happen?
1445
01:29:05,265 --> 01:29:07,299
- Whoa!
- He calls you Daddy.
1446
01:29:07,423 --> 01:29:09,221
I've been his father
since the day he was born.
1447
01:29:09,344 --> 01:29:11,414
So what's this
got to do with me?
1448
01:29:11,544 --> 01:29:13,580
Mm, I need your help.
1449
01:29:13,703 --> 01:29:17,174
- I need you to sue for joint custody.
- What?
1450
01:29:17,304 --> 01:29:20,613
Abbie's getting married.
Her fianc� lives in New York.
She wants to take Sam there.
1451
01:29:20,743 --> 01:29:22,894
I can't stop them because
I'm not legally the father.
1452
01:29:23,024 --> 01:29:25,537
- I don't think I can
get involved in this.
- No, no, no, no, listen.
1453
01:29:25,663 --> 01:29:27,894
I'll pay all the court costs.
1454
01:29:28,023 --> 01:29:30,093
I'll pay for your time,
whatever it takes.
1455
01:29:30,223 --> 01:29:32,862
They'll give you joint custody,
and once they do,
we'll make our own arrangement.
1456
01:29:32,983 --> 01:29:35,782
I'll take full responsibility for him.
You never have to see him again
if you don't want to.
1457
01:29:35,903 --> 01:29:38,416
- I can't agree to something like this.
- Hey, Dad!
- Hey!
1458
01:29:40,423 --> 01:29:41,935
Please help me.
1459
01:29:43,462 --> 01:29:44,610
Please?
1460
01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:48,300
This.. This is crazy.
I can't help you. I'm sorry.
1461
01:29:54,502 --> 01:29:56,458
Before I announce my ruling...
1462
01:29:56,582 --> 01:29:59,049
does anyone
have anything else to add?
1463
01:30:01,662 --> 01:30:03,095
I do, Your Honour.
1464
01:30:05,182 --> 01:30:07,456
Seems like I've spent my whole life
thinking about blood.
1465
01:30:08,941 --> 01:30:10,771
Worrying about blood.
1466
01:30:11,861 --> 01:30:12,896
And blood..
1467
01:30:14,101 --> 01:30:17,571
Well, it's just like shit.
We're all full of it.
1468
01:30:19,101 --> 01:30:21,217
It's good, it gets bad...
1469
01:30:21,341 --> 01:30:23,296
but it's not who we are.
1470
01:30:24,820 --> 01:30:27,175
Being a parent..
a real parent..
1471
01:30:27,301 --> 01:30:29,256
takes more than DNA.
1472
01:30:29,380 --> 01:30:32,771
No one can hand it to you,
and no one can.. can take it away.
1473
01:30:34,021 --> 01:30:36,249
I have earned my right
to be Sam's father.
1474
01:30:37,780 --> 01:30:39,816
So, no matter what you decide...
1475
01:30:40,941 --> 01:30:42,895
Sam is my son...
1476
01:30:43,019 --> 01:30:44,577
forever and always.
1477
01:30:46,620 --> 01:30:48,258
Mr Whittaker...
1478
01:30:48,380 --> 01:30:52,167
I know how deeply attached
you are to this child...
1479
01:30:52,300 --> 01:30:55,291
and that you've been
an exemplary parent.
1480
01:30:56,219 --> 01:31:01,010
And I personally believe that love
and devotion should not go unrewarded...
1481
01:31:01,139 --> 01:31:06,008
but my job is to adjudicate
the laws of the state of California...
1482
01:31:06,139 --> 01:31:08,369
and at this time
I have no choice...
1483
01:31:08,497 --> 01:31:12,377
but to grant sole custody
to Sam's mother...
1484
01:31:13,618 --> 01:31:14,812
Abbie Reynolds.
1485
01:31:23,019 --> 01:31:24,576
Are you all right, darling?
1486
01:31:30,978 --> 01:31:33,731
Excuse me, Your Honour.
May I approach the bench?
1487
01:31:33,857 --> 01:31:37,133
- What's this about?
- Well, my client feels
he has a stake in this case.
1488
01:31:37,258 --> 01:31:39,772
- Your client?
- Kevin Lassiter, Your Honour.
1489
01:31:39,897 --> 01:31:42,854
- I'm Sam's natural father, Your Honour.
- You're a little late.
1490
01:31:42,977 --> 01:31:45,287
I didn't find out till last week.
Abbie never told me.
1491
01:31:45,937 --> 01:31:48,815
- Is that true, Ms Reynolds?
- Yes.
1492
01:31:48,936 --> 01:31:52,089
Your Honour, we'd like to present
evidence proving that Mr Lassiter
has a good steady job...
1493
01:31:52,216 --> 01:31:54,366
and a sizable extended family
in the area.
1494
01:31:54,496 --> 01:31:58,774
Are you asking for shared custody,
Mr Lassiter?
1495
01:31:58,897 --> 01:32:02,092
I just want to be able to spend
enough time with him to find out.
1496
01:32:02,216 --> 01:32:06,289
- I'm asking to know him.
- Counsellors, approach the bench.
1497
01:32:12,417 --> 01:32:14,725
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Look, I meant what I said.
1498
01:32:14,855 --> 01:32:17,495
I gotta figure this out for myself.
I gotta get to know my son.
1499
01:32:17,616 --> 01:32:19,207
- Oh, sure, we can..
- No.
1500
01:32:19,336 --> 01:32:22,008
This is between me and Sam.
This has nothing to do with you.
1501
01:32:24,775 --> 01:32:26,730
Look, I'm just being honest.
1502
01:32:35,055 --> 01:32:37,046
In light
of this recent development...
1503
01:32:38,255 --> 01:32:41,531
I will not render judgment
in this matter...
1504
01:32:41,655 --> 01:32:45,409
until a custodial examination
is completed.
1505
01:32:45,534 --> 01:32:48,287
We will reconvene
four months from today...
1506
01:32:48,414 --> 01:32:51,531
on November 15th,
and Ms Reynolds...
1507
01:32:51,653 --> 01:32:54,930
will have temporary custody
of the child...
1508
01:32:55,054 --> 01:32:58,444
but will not be allowed
to leave the state of California...
1509
01:32:58,573 --> 01:33:01,407
pending further order
of this court.
1510
01:33:05,493 --> 01:33:07,609
Sorry, Robert.
I know how difficult this is.
1511
01:33:14,932 --> 01:33:17,084
- You son of a bitch!
- Come on. Don't.
1512
01:33:17,212 --> 01:33:20,250
- I did what I had to do.
- You had to bring that guy
back into my life...
1513
01:33:20,373 --> 01:33:22,443
back into Sam's life forever.
1514
01:33:22,574 --> 01:33:26,247
- You gave me no choice, Abbie.
- You had a choice.
You had a choice.
1515
01:33:26,372 --> 01:33:29,968
- For as long as you live, you will
never be able to take this back.
- Abbie, let's go. Come on.
1516
01:33:31,932 --> 01:33:33,889
Robert, I'm so sorry.
1517
01:34:27,690 --> 01:34:30,044
- Hey, Robert.
- Hi, Ben.
1518
01:34:30,169 --> 01:34:31,285
How ya doin'?
1519
01:34:32,649 --> 01:34:34,606
Don't worry.
I never let him see me.
1520
01:34:34,729 --> 01:34:38,484
Look, um, I'm.. I'm sorry
about the way this all..
1521
01:34:40,050 --> 01:34:41,447
You know.
1522
01:34:42,769 --> 01:34:45,125
- Didn't leave.
- Nah.
1523
01:34:45,248 --> 01:34:47,638
I didn't.. I didn't take
the partnership, and I left the firm.
1524
01:34:48,848 --> 01:34:50,725
You do what you have to, you know?
1525
01:34:52,248 --> 01:34:55,046
- How's Kevin?
- We saw him once...
1526
01:34:55,168 --> 01:34:57,239
but that was months ago.
1527
01:34:57,368 --> 01:35:00,406
- Where's Sam?
- He's inside with Abbie.
1528
01:35:00,527 --> 01:35:02,678
- Teacher conference.
- What did he do?
1529
01:35:02,808 --> 01:35:03,957
He's got a reading problem.
1530
01:35:04,089 --> 01:35:07,797
Won't keep his book right side up.
Thinks his version is better.
1531
01:35:07,927 --> 01:35:09,599
- Dad!
- Sam!
1532
01:35:09,727 --> 01:35:11,764
- Hi.
- Sam, come back here right now.
1533
01:35:11,888 --> 01:35:13,764
- Dad!
- Sam, over here right now!
1534
01:35:13,887 --> 01:35:15,366
- But, Mom..
- Get in the car.
1535
01:35:15,488 --> 01:35:18,161
D-Dad! Dad!
1536
01:35:18,288 --> 01:35:20,357
- Dad!
- Look, uh..
1537
01:35:21,968 --> 01:35:23,116
It's too soon.
1538
01:35:25,887 --> 01:35:27,081
Maybe someday, huh?
1539
01:35:42,286 --> 01:35:43,402
Window.
1540
01:36:55,684 --> 01:36:57,877
We really messed up, didn't we?
1541
01:37:01,683 --> 01:37:02,957
How's Sam?
1542
01:37:04,043 --> 01:37:06,716
He's fine.
He misses you.
1543
01:37:12,882 --> 01:37:14,156
I miss you.
1544
01:37:20,443 --> 01:37:21,762
I miss us.
1545
01:37:33,921 --> 01:37:35,832
Go have dinner with your father.
1546
01:37:35,960 --> 01:37:38,634
- Dad!
- Sam!
1547
01:37:40,641 --> 01:37:43,518
- How are you? How are you?
- Great, but no more daddies, okay?
1548
01:37:44,960 --> 01:37:46,281
Right.
1549
01:37:48,720 --> 01:37:50,712
Just have him back
after dinner, okay?
1550
01:37:52,200 --> 01:37:54,668
What do you want to have
for dinner, son? Hmm? Huh?
1551
01:37:54,801 --> 01:37:57,361
It's Thursday.
We have roast beast on Thursdays.
1552
01:37:58,680 --> 01:38:00,911
You're so right. We do.
1553
01:38:04,600 --> 01:38:06,956
- I love you, Sam.
- I love you, Daddy.
1554
01:38:41,060 --> 01:38:44,018
A long, long time ago
1555
01:38:44,140 --> 01:38:46,574
I can still remember
1556
01:38:46,700 --> 01:38:51,330
How that music
used to make me smile
1557
01:38:51,460 --> 01:38:55,009
And I knew that
if I had my chance
1558
01:38:55,140 --> 01:38:58,212
I could make
those people dance
1559
01:38:58,340 --> 01:39:00,695
And maybe they'd be happy
1560
01:39:00,820 --> 01:39:03,414
For a while
1561
01:39:19,300 --> 01:39:21,816
Did you write
the book of love
1562
01:39:21,942 --> 01:39:26,575
And do you have faith
in God above
1563
01:39:26,704 --> 01:39:31,020
If the Bible tells you so
1564
01:39:31,148 --> 01:39:34,984
Now do you believe
in rock and roll
1565
01:39:35,110 --> 01:39:38,993
And can music
save your mortal soul
1566
01:39:39,114 --> 01:39:42,745
And can you teach me
how to dance
1567
01:39:42,876 --> 01:39:45,915
real slow
1568
01:39:46,038 --> 01:39:49,670
Well, I know that you're
in love with him
1569
01:39:49,801 --> 01:39:53,844
'Cause I saw you dancing
in the gym
1570
01:39:53,964 --> 01:39:57,038
You both
kicked off your shoes
1571
01:39:57,167 --> 01:40:00,763
Man, I dig
those rhythm and blues
1572
01:40:00,888 --> 01:40:04,725
I was a lonely teenage
broncin' buck
1573
01:40:04,852 --> 01:40:08,403
With a pink carnation
and a pickup truck
1574
01:40:08,534 --> 01:40:12,132
But I knew that I was
out of luck
1575
01:40:12,256 --> 01:40:14,055
The day
1576
01:40:14,178 --> 01:40:18,379
The music died
1577
01:40:18,501 --> 01:40:22,976
I started singin'
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
1578
01:40:23,105 --> 01:40:27,226
Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry
1579
01:40:27,348 --> 01:40:30,659
And good ol' boys were
drinkin' whisky and rye
1580
01:40:30,790 --> 01:40:34,865
Singin' this'll be the day
that I die
1581
01:40:34,993 --> 01:40:38,829
This'll be the day
that I die
1582
01:40:44,599 --> 01:40:47,240
I met a girl
who sang the blues
1583
01:40:47,362 --> 01:40:51,801
And I asked her
for some happy news
1584
01:40:51,924 --> 01:40:55,124
But she just smiled
and turned away
1585
01:40:56,689 --> 01:41:00,478
Well, I went down
to the sacred store
1586
01:41:00,611 --> 01:41:04,367
Where I'd heard the music
years before
1587
01:41:04,494 --> 01:41:07,487
But the man there
said the music
1588
01:41:07,616 --> 01:41:11,373
Wouldn't play
1589
01:41:11,499 --> 01:41:15,540
Well, now, in the streets
the children screamed
1590
01:41:15,661 --> 01:41:19,657
The lovers cried
and the poets dreamed
1591
01:41:19,785 --> 01:41:22,938
But not a word was spoken
1592
01:41:23,067 --> 01:41:26,220
The church bells
all were broken
1593
01:41:26,349 --> 01:41:30,391
And the three men
I admire the most
1594
01:41:30,513 --> 01:41:34,553
The Father, Son
and the Holy Ghost
1595
01:41:34,674 --> 01:41:37,589
They caught the last train
for the coast
1596
01:41:37,717 --> 01:41:39,516
The day
1597
01:41:39,639 --> 01:41:43,840
The music died
1598
01:41:43,962 --> 01:41:48,561
We started singin'
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
1599
01:41:48,686 --> 01:41:52,645
Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry
1600
01:41:52,767 --> 01:41:56,126
And good ol' boys were
drinkin' whisky and rye
1601
01:41:56,250 --> 01:42:00,326
Singin' this'll be the day
that I die
1602
01:42:00,452 --> 01:42:04,004
This'll be the day
that I die
1603
01:42:17,425 --> 01:42:20,145
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
1604
01:42:20,267 --> 01:42:24,263
Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry
1605
01:42:24,390 --> 01:42:27,702
And good ol' boys were
drinkin' whisky and rye
1606
01:42:27,832 --> 01:42:31,908
Singin' this'll be the day
that I die
1607
01:42:32,035 --> 01:42:35,872
This'll be the day
that I die
1608
01:42:35,997 --> 01:42:40,518
We started singin'
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
1609
01:42:40,641 --> 01:42:44,683
Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry
1610
01:42:44,804 --> 01:42:48,117
And good ol' boys were
drinkin' whisky and rye
1611
01:42:48,246 --> 01:42:52,287
Singin' this'll be the day
that I die
1612
01:42:52,409 --> 01:42:56,325
This'll be the day
that I die
1613
01:42:56,453 --> 01:42:59,970
We started singin'
1614
01:43:00,096 --> 01:43:03,726
We started singin'
1615
01:43:03,857 --> 01:43:07,408
We started singin'
1616
01:43:07,540 --> 01:43:09,772
We started singin'
133516
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