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00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:08,600
Here we are, face to face, looking for
the silver spoon.
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00:00:09,780 --> 00:00:12,980
Open to find, we're two of a kind.
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00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:20,059
Make it a go, make it grow. Together,
we're gonna find our
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00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:21,110
way.
5
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,150
Together,
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taking the time each day.
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00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:34,290
So learn all about those things you just
can't buy.
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00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:39,050
Two silver spoons together.
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00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:42,690
You and I together.
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00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:45,930
We're gonna find our way.
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00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:48,990
You and I together.
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00:00:50,090 --> 00:00:52,570
We're gonna find our way.
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00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:55,970
You and I together.
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00:01:07,530 --> 00:01:13,209
high basketball team that, quote,
couldn't be cured by some taller kids
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00:01:13,210 --> 00:01:14,260
how to shoot.
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00:01:14,830 --> 00:01:15,880
Unquote.
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00:01:16,190 --> 00:01:17,370
Over to you, Rick.
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00:01:24,030 --> 00:01:25,080
Finally!
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00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:26,920
Finally!
20
00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:29,360
Here's a bulletin.
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00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:33,869
Switzerland is suing our school
cafeteria for libel because they called
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00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:35,250
week's special Swiss steak.
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food in the cafeteria is bad, how bad is
it?
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00:01:42,981 --> 00:01:47,339
Well, primitive tribes travel thousands
of miles just to dip their darts in the
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gravy.
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00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:52,659
So goodbye until next week, when our
special guest will be Mr. Burholz from
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00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:56,299
Woodshop. He'll show us how to make an
attractive lamp from a piece of
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00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:57,350
driftwood.
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00:01:57,780 --> 00:02:01,030
Thank you. That was very good, guys.
You're definitely improving.
30
00:02:01,180 --> 00:02:03,170
Yeah, it's only our third week in a
year.
31
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:09,160
Wow, 17 % of this city was watching you
guys?
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00:02:09,419 --> 00:02:11,039
No, 17 people.
33
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:17,440
Oh, well, that's more than... 16.
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00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,540
I love the cafeteria jokes, Rick, but is
the food really that bad?
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00:02:22,541 --> 00:02:25,119
Freddie should know he works there part
-time.
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00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:28,620
I only clean up. I have nothing to do
with the cooking.
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00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:33,760
Tell him what the cafeteria staff does
for lunch every day.
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00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:36,150
We eat out.
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00:02:36,571 --> 00:02:43,739
That's Bob and Barbara. Dinner shouldn't
take long, son. We'll be home early.
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00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:47,739
Oh, Edward, I forgot to tell you. After
dinner, they're taking us over to Blythe
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00:02:47,740 --> 00:02:48,659
and Steve's house.
42
00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:51,430
He's going to show us pictures of their
trip to Finland.
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00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:52,540
Oh, fantastic.
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00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,360
You really mean that?
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No, I was just practicing.
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00:02:57,631 --> 00:02:59,699
All right, now.
47
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:02,410
We need something more exciting for next
week's show.
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00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:06,860
How about an interview with Christie
Brinkley? Do you know Christie Brinkley?
49
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:08,710
No.
50
00:03:10,151 --> 00:03:17,259
I've got some news that would knock this
town's socks off. It would blow the lid
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00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:18,059
off the school.
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00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:21,670
It would drop like an H -bomb. People
would be talking about it for months.
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00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,410
Really? What is it? I can't tell. It's a
secret.
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00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,190
Why did you bring it up in the first
place?
55
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:32,439
You always do that to me. You get me
excited, and then you throw a bucket of
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00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,910
cold water on me. Why do you do that?
Why? Why? Why?
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00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,970
Actually, it'd be great to get it off my
chest.
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00:03:42,361 --> 00:03:46,769
Caddies on a bun they sell in the
cafeteria?
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00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:47,910
Yeah, the twin burger?
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00:03:48,410 --> 00:03:50,640
Well, they ought to call it the Daily
Double.
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00:03:52,270 --> 00:03:53,770
What are you talking about?
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It's not beef.
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00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:57,240
It's...
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00:04:16,870 --> 00:04:20,540
Okay. The other morning, I went to the
cafeteria to warm up the sweet rolls.
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00:04:20,541 --> 00:04:23,609
I don't eat them myself because my mom
says it gives me the stress on the lower
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00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:24,660
tract.
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00:04:25,810 --> 00:04:29,390
Anyway, my assignment was to get some
number eight onions out of Mr.
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Snodgrass's office.
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He's the cafeteria manager.
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00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:34,890
Wouldn't you know, the bag broke.
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00:04:35,130 --> 00:04:36,210
They spilled all over.
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00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:40,490
I bent down to get them. Then Mr.
Snodgrass came into the office with this
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00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,700
Larry, who owns the Happy Dome Eat
Company.
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00:04:42,730 --> 00:04:43,870
They never saw me.
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00:04:44,190 --> 00:04:45,570
But I overheard everything.
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00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:49,430
The school is giving Mr. Snodgrass money
to buy real meat.
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00:04:49,431 --> 00:04:53,749
But instead, he's buying steeple horse
meat from Larry and passing the savings
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00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:54,800
along to his pocket.
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00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,630
Aaron Gorsh with my college education
and contact lenses.
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00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:24,480
Freddy, Freddy, Freddy, Freddy, this is
an important story. It has to be told.
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00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,580
It must be told. The American public has
the right to know.
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00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:30,650
Besides, it'll make our ratings
skyrocket.
83
00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:33,600
But this guy Larry looks real tough.
84
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:36,360
I bet he cuts his nails with a chainsaw.
85
00:05:36,361 --> 00:05:41,459
Freddy, if you tell your story on the
air, we'll disguise your identity and no
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00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:44,139
one will ever know it was you. You're my
personal guarantee.
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00:05:44,140 --> 00:05:45,190
From now on,
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00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,220
that used to wear a saddle.
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00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,050
Thank you, Mr. X.
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00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:14,990
Oh, no, shut up.
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00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:19,040
You sure about this, son?
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00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,780
My door saw the whole thing.
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00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,880
I can't believe this is happening.
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00:06:22,881 --> 00:06:26,059
I want to talk to your principal first
thing in the morning. What's his name?
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00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:27,110
Dr. Percy.
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00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:29,810
Yeah,
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00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:34,810
hello.
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00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,070
Oh, Dr. Percy. I was just trying to
remember your name.
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00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:45,710
Yes, we were both watching it. Dr.
Percy, I want to express my... Uh -huh.
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00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,000
Yeah.
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00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:51,320
Okay.
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00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:53,400
Goodbye.
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00:06:55,630 --> 00:06:57,610
He wants to see us both in Mr.
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00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,530
Snodgrass's office immediately.
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00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:00,900
I have to meet Mr.
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00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:02,310
Snodgrass face to face?
107
00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:04,620
Afraid you do, son.
108
00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:08,200
Just a second, Dad.
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00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:25,589
Bill Snodgrass has worked with great
dedication as our cafeteria manager for
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00:07:25,590 --> 00:07:27,090
past 17 years.
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00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:29,660
Thank you, Dr. Percy, for those kind
words.
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00:07:29,661 --> 00:07:31,949
Well, I'll get right to the point.
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00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:36,349
Your son has made some serious charges
on his TV broadcast, which has caused a
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00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:40,029
lot of people to get upset. Ever since I
spoke to you on the phone, my secretary
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00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:43,950
has logged calls from at least 25
people.
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00:07:43,951 --> 00:07:46,779
And what makes you so sure it's my son
that's wrong here? Why don't you
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00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:49,979
investigate this situation? Well, I'd
like to investigate it. That's why I
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00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:51,160
to meet your Mr. X.
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00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:56,019
All right. All right. I'm going to give
you 24 hours to come forth with your
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00:07:56,020 --> 00:08:00,339
eyewitness, or I'm going to have to
suspend you from school and take away
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00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:01,359
TV program.
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00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,020
But I... 24 hours.
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00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:16,740
Yeah, yeah, that's good. That's good.
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00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,250
Uh -huh.
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00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,570
Uh -huh.
126
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:23,850
Okay, that's just what we need to know,
F. Lee. Thanks a lot.
127
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,400
Hi, Dad. Yeah, great news, Dad. I just
talked to my lawyer, F. Lee.
128
00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:29,380
Your lawyer's F. Lee Bailey?
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00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,350
No, F. Lee Birnbaum.
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00:08:33,659 --> 00:08:37,089
His real name's Homer, but who wants a
lawyer named Homer Birnbaum?
131
00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:41,319
Anyway, the good news, son, is that if
they suspend you from school, they're
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00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,879
violating your First Amendment rights.
That is good news. Yeah, well, the bad
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00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,020
news is that if your source is wrong,
Mr.
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00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:49,740
Snodgrass can sue me for everything I
have.
135
00:08:49,741 --> 00:08:53,419
Well, don't worry, Dad. Marty
Stevenson's dad's a chemist. So Alfonso
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00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:55,219
cafeteria burger to get him analyzed.
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00:08:55,220 --> 00:08:57,479
They just come in straight back here
with the results.
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00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:01,479
Great. I also sent Kate on a little fact
-finding tour of the Happy Dale Meat
139
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:04,939
Company. She's going to tell him she's
opening a chain of discount hamburger
140
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:07,140
joints called Budget Burgers. Hmm?
141
00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:10,640
She's looking for some very cheap beef.
142
00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:13,480
Thank Dad for believing in me.
143
00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:15,510
Hey,
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00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:23,620
Kate. Let me take that for you. What'd
you find out, huh?
145
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:28,879
Well, first of all, the Happy Dell Meat
Company slogan is, all our cows are
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00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,860
happy. Of course they're happy. They
don't kill them.
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00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,350
I bet you their horses are plenty
depressed.
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00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:38,990
afraid they're a well -respected firm.
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00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:43,229
They have dozens of awards for quality.
They sell to the best restaurants in
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00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:48,629
town. And their founder was the author
of what has become known as the Bible of
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00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:49,680
the beef industry.
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00:09:51,730 --> 00:09:53,110
The joy of meat.
153
00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:01,040
Well, I hope you're not going to get
bamboozled by all this.
154
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:04,520
Well, the Better Business Bureau hasn't
had any complaints.
155
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:09,670
I am waiting for a credit report, but
they sound like they're squeaky clean.
156
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:16,140
Okay, Alfonso, what was really in that
meat?
157
00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:20,090
Well, it's been 100 % grade A beef.
158
00:10:20,630 --> 00:10:21,680
Of course.
159
00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:23,770
It doesn't surprise me in the least.
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00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:27,320
Once he knew we were on to him, he
switched back to the good meat.
161
00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:31,350
Rick, maybe Dr. Percy was right. Maybe
this Mr. X just has a grudge.
162
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:32,890
But Dad, I'm positive.
163
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:37,699
Witness is a completely reliable,
honest, bumbling cloud of wine. Why did
164
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:38,750
believe him?
165
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:42,710
Kate, let's go into the library. I
better call F. Lee.
166
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,290
F. Lee Birnbaum.
167
00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:46,210
No, F. Lee Bailey. I'm going to need
him.
168
00:10:47,611 --> 00:10:54,699
Well, I guess the only thing left to do
is go on the air and apologize to Mr.
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00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:55,750
Snodgrass.
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00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,440
I'll be humiliated.
171
00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:00,580
But at least we'll still have our house.
172
00:11:04,341 --> 00:11:06,349
Hi, Freddy.
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00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:07,400
I'm at the cafeteria.
174
00:11:07,670 --> 00:11:09,780
You'll never guess what I just
overheard.
175
00:11:09,781 --> 00:11:13,729
Snodgrass was talking on the phone to
Larry. You know, the guy from the Happy
176
00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:14,569
Deal Meat Company?
177
00:11:14,570 --> 00:11:18,190
And he told him, uh, uh, crying won't
help, Sheila.
178
00:11:19,770 --> 00:11:20,820
Huh?
179
00:11:24,610 --> 00:11:27,230
That was a close one. Mr. Snodgrass just
went by.
180
00:11:27,890 --> 00:11:28,970
Quick, what'd he say?
181
00:11:37,661 --> 00:11:43,029
Anyway, Snodgrass and Larry are up to
the old tricks again.
182
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:45,329
They're meeting at 4 o 'clock, and I
think it's important.
183
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:50,069
Why? I looked at his scratch pad, and
there are a lot of dollar signs and...
184
00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:51,690
nooses.
185
00:11:51,691 --> 00:11:56,969
We could get that meeting on tape. Is
there any place to hide in there?
186
00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,020
Well, there are some boxes in his
office.
187
00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:02,780
Fred, we'll get me right down, okay? I
don't think that's a good idea.
188
00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:07,069
I can't talk anymore, Sheila. I have
dedicated my life to the food service
189
00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:08,120
industry.
190
00:12:22,651 --> 00:12:29,579
I wouldn't reveal you as my source, and
I'm sticking to that promise. Rick,
191
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:32,339
you're the best friend a guy could ever
ask for. And if you're caught and sent
192
00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:34,140
to prison, I'll send you cigarettes.
193
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,210
We don't smoke.
194
00:12:36,211 --> 00:12:38,319
I know, but they use them for money in
prison.
195
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,320
I saw it in a movie once, The Big House.
196
00:12:40,321 --> 00:12:43,519
I don't want to call it a big house,
though. It doesn't look like any house.
197
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:44,299
looked more like a zoo.
198
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,410
I think they should have called it Big
Zoo.
199
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:47,710
Yeah?
200
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,170
You taste so bad here.
201
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,920
I went to, the school of hard knocks.
202
00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:08,099
couple weeks after things cool off good
because we can't make any money like
203
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:14,399
this huh and that's coming straight from
the horse's mouth horse's mouth
204
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:21,279
you might say it's kind of a horse of a
different color
205
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:28,179
all right all right quit horsing around
hey hey i mean it quit
206
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:29,230
horsing around
207
00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:37,020
one of those me the money. All right,
all right.
208
00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:39,730
I'm sorry, all I got's 50.
209
00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:41,020
That'll do just fine.
210
00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:50,390
Oh, Larry, I've been having a problem in
here with R -A -T -S.
211
00:15:56,910 --> 00:15:57,960
Rats.
212
00:15:58,570 --> 00:16:01,250
And I think they're hiding behind the...
213
00:16:45,791 --> 00:16:49,169
If you're not, who is? Come on, talk.
214
00:16:49,170 --> 00:16:51,230
Oh, I bet I could make him talk.
215
00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:54,400
Yeah, I'd say the odds are in your
favor.
216
00:16:58,130 --> 00:17:00,250
More, uh, R -A -T -Z?
217
00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:04,500
Come in!
218
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:06,860
Dad!
219
00:17:06,990 --> 00:17:09,820
Hey, hey, hey, you guys all right?
What's going on here?
220
00:17:09,970 --> 00:17:12,140
These troublemakers broke into my
office.
221
00:17:12,349 --> 00:17:13,399
Is that true, son?
222
00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:27,129
Horse jokes.
223
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:30,680
All right, Mr. Snodgrass. Now, what's
this all about? Money and horses?
224
00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:32,270
All right, Dr. Percy, I confess.
225
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:34,430
I play the ponies.
226
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:37,970
Well, I'm getting confused. Now, what
are you doing here?
227
00:17:37,971 --> 00:17:41,089
They were talking about doing business
when things cooled off.
228
00:17:41,090 --> 00:17:47,009
Well, I merely suggested the children
would appreciate beef barley soup on a
229
00:17:47,010 --> 00:17:48,410
chilly winter day.
230
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,520
Dr. Percy, this man is a convicted
felon.
231
00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,850
He is?
232
00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:03,020
Yeah. That credit report Kate was
waiting for finally came in.
233
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:07,139
Seems Larry sold funeral plots. Turned
out to be in the middle of the Long
234
00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:08,460
Island Expressway.
235
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:13,340
Before that, he sold defective candles
to churches.
236
00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:16,660
No wicks.
237
00:18:16,661 --> 00:18:23,419
What? Yeah, he bought the Happydale Meat
Company three months ago, and he's been
238
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:25,280
ruining their reputation ever since.
239
00:18:25,530 --> 00:18:27,830
I deny the alleged allegations.
240
00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:32,780
The bottom line remains that these two
boys witnessed no wrongdoing.
241
00:18:32,930 --> 00:18:35,890
But Mr. X did. All right, now, who is
Mr. X?
242
00:18:36,190 --> 00:18:38,540
I'm still not telling who he is. I made
a promise.
243
00:18:38,830 --> 00:18:41,390
We seem to be on the horns of a dilemma.
244
00:18:41,690 --> 00:18:43,130
Dr. Percy, this is ridiculous.
245
00:18:43,131 --> 00:18:45,649
These boys should be punished to the
fullest extent of the law.
246
00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:49,320
Now, you just hold on one minute. They
broke into an innocent man's office.
247
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:50,930
That's invasion of privacy.
248
00:18:51,170 --> 00:18:52,220
Kid, today...
249
00:18:54,890 --> 00:18:58,560
If I weren't such a decent man, I'd sue
you for slander. Maybe I will anyway.
250
00:18:58,561 --> 00:19:00,649
I'm going to take you for everything you
have.
251
00:19:00,650 --> 00:19:04,309
And Dr. Percy, I want you to see to it
that these boys were expelled from the
252
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,360
school.
253
00:19:38,651 --> 00:19:45,499
you've got your Mr. X. Now, that ought
to be enough to open an investigation,
254
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:46,550
huh? Yes.
255
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,440
I'm definitely going to look into this.
256
00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:50,830
Good.
257
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:51,910
I welcome it.
258
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:53,570
Me, too.
259
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,440
Gotta go. See you around, Snob.
260
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,880
Freddy, you didn't have to do that.
261
00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:26,030
where Mr. X has had the courage to
reveal himself as Freddy
262
00:20:28,870 --> 00:20:30,650
Hello there.
263
00:20:32,410 --> 00:20:36,649
Dr. Percy has agreed to launch a full
-scale investigation into what we like
264
00:20:36,650 --> 00:20:37,990
call Cafeteria Gate.
265
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:42,390
Mr. Snodgrass, how do you... Mr.
Snodgrass, how do you feel about that?
266
00:20:42,830 --> 00:20:43,880
No comment.
267
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:09,820
to make a drift to Atlanta.
268
00:21:10,340 --> 00:21:12,880
Well, congratulations, son.
269
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,180
You know, you guys were awfully lucky.
270
00:21:16,181 --> 00:21:17,699
What do you mean?
271
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:19,499
Well, what if your source had been
wrong?
272
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:21,320
You would have unfairly damaged Mr.
273
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:22,780
Snodgrass's reputation.
274
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:26,839
You better be sure from now on you check
your facts thoroughly before you
275
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,220
broadcast them on TV, okay?
276
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,240
Yeah. Oh, it's on.
277
00:21:34,540 --> 00:21:38,200
By this time, you have carefully
selected
278
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:42,800
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