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Here we are, face to face, a couple of
silver spoons.
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Hoping to find we're two of a kind.
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00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:20,019
Making it go, making it grow. Together,
we're going to find our
4
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,070
way.
5
00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:27,240
Together, taking the time each day.
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00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:34,260
To learn all about those things you just
can't buy.
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00:00:35,940 --> 00:00:38,940
Do the spoons together.
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Obviously not.
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Maybe Andy Rooney can play.
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00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:52,760
Hi, Dex. This is Ronnie.
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Well, Mommy and I are having a little
birthday party for Edwin Meese.
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00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,800
Be there or be square.
13
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,000
Hi, Richard. How was the game? We won!
14
00:02:22,020 --> 00:02:24,610
Well, congratulations. I knew you'd be
victorious.
15
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:28,530
Billy, this is my dad's business
manager, Dexter Stuffy.
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00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,800
Dexter, this is our star pitcher, Billy
Jankowski.
17
00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:33,519
Hello, Billy.
18
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,570
Hi.
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00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:35,750
Why, you're a girl.
20
00:02:37,020 --> 00:02:39,550
You wouldn't say that if you saw our
pick -off move.
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00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:43,860
That was a rough game, Dex. We had to
beat our top rivals.
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00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:46,930
The toughest, most feared team in the
whole league.
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00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:48,230
Winky's pet.
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00:02:49,550 --> 00:02:51,840
Are they as tough as Kathy's maternity
wear?
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00:02:51,841 --> 00:02:56,489
Even tougher. Do you want to hear how we
won the game? Oh, yes, I'd love to hear
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00:02:56,490 --> 00:02:57,609
a good sports anecdote.
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00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:00,440
Shoot. Well, Billy's fastball was really
smoking today.
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00:03:00,590 --> 00:03:02,090
She held the gerbil scoreless.
29
00:03:02,091 --> 00:03:05,709
Then Ricky got up in the bottom of the
ninth and smashed the double.
30
00:03:05,710 --> 00:03:06,760
Well, it...
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00:03:06,761 --> 00:03:09,769
It wasn't really a smash. It was more of
a dribble to the pitcher.
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00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:13,009
But then he overthrew the first baseman,
and then Tommy Ryan's dog picked the
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00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:16,380
ball up with his mouth, and it's a
beautiful Irish center. It's long.
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00:03:17,570 --> 00:03:18,620
Okay,
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so I'm on second base.
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00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:24,489
Billy comes up, and it's a long fly
ball, deep, deep to right field, moving
37
00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:26,889
over to third. Billy really clobbered
that pitch.
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00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:28,430
I did get good wood on it.
39
00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:31,490
So things were looking great.
40
00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:34,250
But then our next two guys struck out.
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00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:36,290
So my dad looked at me.
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00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,340
And I looked at him, and he gave me the
steel signal.
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00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:48,739
So I got a big lead off third, got a
great jump, and stole home for the
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00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:51,560
run. Wasn't that a rather risky
strategy, Edwards?
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00:03:51,561 --> 00:03:55,199
Well, actually, it was entirely
unintentional. I didn't mean to give
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00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,370
steel signal. I was trying to get rid of
a bee.
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00:03:58,551 --> 00:04:03,139
Looks like you're the hero of the game,
Richard.
48
00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:04,190
No way.
49
00:04:04,350 --> 00:04:06,760
I think we should award the game ball to
that bee.
50
00:04:06,761 --> 00:04:10,489
Well, I'll have to see one of your
games. I'd love to see you two in
51
00:04:10,490 --> 00:04:11,869
Yeah, they're a winning combination.
52
00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:13,010
Rick's a great catcher.
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00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:15,449
Billy's the best pitcher in the whole
league.
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00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,130
I think she's just plain terrific.
55
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,440
Oh, come on.
56
00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:20,500
Edward,
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00:04:20,501 --> 00:04:25,949
if you have a moment, I'd love for you
to sign some loan paper. Then I'll drop
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00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:27,000
them off at the bank.
59
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:30,509
Okay, but why am I borrowing money?
You're not. The bank is borrowing money
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00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:31,560
you.
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00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,370
It is? Yes, of course. It's a small
bank. Just getting started.
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00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:37,900
And I've negotiated a superb interest
rate.
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00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:39,780
Oh, this is a twitch.
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00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:42,599
Well, since they're opening an account
with me, maybe I should give them a
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00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,460
toast. You're a toaster here right now.
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00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:47,320
Rick, can I ask you something?
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00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:49,350
Sure, what is it?
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00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:54,560
Well, you think of me as one of the
guys, don't you?
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00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,120
Yeah, it's real easy to forget you're a
girl.
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00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:00,340
You don't scream when you see a snake.
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00:05:00,730 --> 00:05:04,160
And when we go fishing, you're not
afraid to put your own worm on your
72
00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:07,360
Well, I just like to think of worms as
real small snakes.
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00:05:11,070 --> 00:05:15,830
Billy, I don't say this to a lot of
girls, but... You're a great guy.
74
00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:19,570
But I'm not a guy.
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00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:21,260
I'm a girl.
76
00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:23,010
I know, but...
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00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:41,950
I got involved in some problems down at
Eddie Torrey's.
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00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,050
What's the matter?
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00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:48,199
Well, I'm having trouble convincing
certain people to accept my authority as
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00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,460
your father's assistant.
81
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,560
When I say I want more goop in the goofy
glop, I mean it.
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00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:55,630
That way, Kate.
83
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,360
Oh, Rick, I just spoke to the gardener.
Mr. Carpenter?
84
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:04,059
Yeah, he was trimming the hedge around
the duck pond, and he said he found a
85
00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:05,099
five -legged frog.
86
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:05,959
Do you want to see it?
87
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,010
Are you kidding?
88
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,350
go ahead, Rick. I want to talk to Miss
Summers.
89
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,940
Okay. I'll bring him back alive.
90
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,820
Miss Summers, I've got a problem.
91
00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:26,110
Do you think we could have a woman -to
-woman talk?
92
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,680
Well, of course we could.
93
00:06:27,940 --> 00:06:29,380
Is something bothering you?
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00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,010
Well, yeah.
95
00:06:31,660 --> 00:06:32,710
Well,
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00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,420
Rick thinks of me as one of the guys.
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00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,580
I can't understand why he doesn't think
of me as a girl.
98
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,720
on how to be more ladylike?
99
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:54,940
Well, um, first of all, a lady doesn't
sit like that.
100
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,640
A lady sits like this.
101
00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:08,030
Like this?
102
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,130
That's right.
103
00:07:10,540 --> 00:07:13,130
Well, doesn't the back of your knee get
all sweaty?
104
00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:18,150
That's one of the prices you pay for
being a lady.
105
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:21,200
Well, what else should I do?
106
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:23,570
Well, let's see.
107
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,760
You could wear your hair down.
108
00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:31,660
And you could try wearing a dress with a
pretty purse.
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00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:33,380
A dress and a purse?
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00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:40,899
Oh, uh... Billy, if you want the guys to
start thinking of you as a
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00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:43,020
lady, you have to look like a lady.
112
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:44,830
Okay, okay.
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00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:50,010
So, my hair is down, I'm in a dress, and
my knee is sweating.
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00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:55,170
What if a guy still doesn't notice me?
What do I do then?
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00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:59,890
Well, you could show him that you're
interested.
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00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:01,640
How?
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00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:05,990
Uh, by giving him a certain kind of
smile.
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00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:11,390
Let me try.
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00:08:20,281 --> 00:08:27,209
Hans told me that I should act dumb
around the guy and pretend he's smarter
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00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:28,690
me. Is that true?
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00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:31,020
Absolutely not.
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00:08:31,170 --> 00:08:35,270
If a man doesn't like an intelligent
woman, he is a man not worth having.
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00:08:38,929 --> 00:08:40,850
Well, I've got a lot of work to do.
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00:08:40,851 --> 00:08:44,429
If I'm going to use my purse, I'm going
to have to take my bug collection out of
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00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:45,480
it.
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00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:52,030
Miss Summers, I really want to thank you
for all your help.
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00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:54,029
Don't worry.
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00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,080
You'll be great.
129
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:56,370
I sure hope so.
130
00:08:56,930 --> 00:08:58,550
Let me try the smile again. Okay.
131
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,510
underneath some glasses.
132
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,450
Where's Billy? Oh, she went home.
133
00:09:32,270 --> 00:09:34,190
Dora, we're going to hit some fly balls.
134
00:09:35,110 --> 00:09:37,150
Rick, there's something you should know.
135
00:09:37,650 --> 00:09:38,700
Really, what?
136
00:09:38,701 --> 00:09:42,389
Well, I think you should stop thinking
of Billy as one of the guys and start
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00:09:42,390 --> 00:09:44,070
thinking of her as one of the girls.
138
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:47,440
Why would I want to do a thing like
that?
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00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:51,170
Because she has a crush on you.
140
00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:54,800
Billy?
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00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:58,980
Oh, no.
142
00:10:03,930 --> 00:10:07,449
Well, listen, I really don't need any
more insurance, so I...
143
00:10:07,450 --> 00:10:14,410
Well, yeah, but I really don't need...
144
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,130
realize you were talking on the phone.
I'm not.
145
00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:33,230
He is.
146
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:36,430
What's up, son?
147
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,890
Dad, I've got a problem that's really
bugging me.
148
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,150
What's her name?
149
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,820
Why do you always assume it's a girl?
I've got other problems.
150
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,430
It could be about school or one of the
guys.
151
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,360
Is it about school or one of the guys?
152
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:53,200
No, it's about a girl.
153
00:10:56,341 --> 00:11:00,469
It's Billy. Something terrible's
happened.
154
00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,520
She broke her arm.
155
00:11:04,150 --> 00:11:06,610
No. She's fallen in love with me.
156
00:11:07,510 --> 00:11:08,560
Oh.
157
00:11:08,670 --> 00:11:09,870
But her arm's all right?
158
00:11:11,930 --> 00:11:16,049
Dad. Well, son, I'm sorry. I just don't
see what's so terrible that she's fallen
159
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,100
in love with you.
160
00:11:17,150 --> 00:11:18,770
Unless it affected her pitching.
161
00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:22,270
Dad, I really need some help here.
162
00:11:23,490 --> 00:11:25,890
I'm sorry, son. Here. Let me get rid of
this guy.
163
00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:28,110
Listen, I really don't...
164
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:45,540
hang up on him.
165
00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:46,870
That wouldn't be polite.
166
00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:50,490
Son, you were saying?
167
00:11:50,491 --> 00:11:55,129
See, I've always thought of Billy as one
of the guys. I mean, we're teammates.
168
00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,570
A great battery combination.
169
00:11:56,571 --> 00:12:00,289
But her falling in love with me is going
to change all that.
170
00:12:00,290 --> 00:12:01,340
Does it have to?
171
00:12:01,341 --> 00:12:05,409
Sure. If I go out to the mound for a
conference, she's liable to hug me or
172
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:06,460
something.
173
00:12:07,930 --> 00:12:09,310
That would be embarrassing.
174
00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:13,610
I like Billy the way she is. I don't
want...
175
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:15,960
Rick, everything changes.
176
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,460
In fact, the absurd man is he who never
changes.
177
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,900
I got that in a fortune cookie.
178
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,820
Been waiting eight years to use it.
179
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,580
But I don't want Billy to change.
180
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,880
It's not easy to find a girl who really
knows how to spit.
181
00:12:40,831 --> 00:12:46,319
Why don't you have to ruin things and
fall in love with me?
182
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,259
Rick, Billy's at that age. It's only
natural she wants to be a little more
183
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:50,310
feminine.
184
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,600
Besides, she's not the first girl to
succumb to your charms.
185
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,400
Why am I cursed with this animal
magnetism?
186
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:08,820
What is it that draws women to... the
Ricker?
187
00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:16,070
I think we can rule out humility.
188
00:13:19,650 --> 00:13:22,000
How do I tell Billy I just want us to be
friends?
189
00:13:22,050 --> 00:13:25,420
You know, something similar to this
happened to me once in college.
190
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:28,800
Really? Yeah, I used to earn extra money
on the weekends tutoring.
191
00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:32,970
I met a Russian exchange student named
Svetlana Porchnik.
192
00:13:33,851 --> 00:13:39,979
John and I had to spend a lot of time
together working on her English, and we
193
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:43,239
got to be pretty good friends. And then
all of a sudden, she up and tells me,
194
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:47,440
What does that mean?
195
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:48,770
Help on drowning?
196
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:51,510
No,
197
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,440
that's Russian for I love you.
198
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,160
Well, anyway, I didn't feel near the
same way, but...
199
00:14:04,570 --> 00:14:07,940
It's kind of a touchy situation because
I don't want to get mad at me.
200
00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:09,190
She had a bad temper?
201
00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:10,520
Yeah.
202
00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:15,290
Also, she was a... husky woman.
203
00:14:18,050 --> 00:14:19,100
Real husky?
204
00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:23,070
About two twinkies shy of 385 pounds.
205
00:14:27,530 --> 00:14:31,149
But finally, one day, I grabbed my first
aid kit and went to tell her how I
206
00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:32,200
felt.
207
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:34,730
What did you say?
208
00:14:35,260 --> 00:14:41,059
I said, Svetlana, I really value our
relationship, but if you try to make it
209
00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:43,040
romantic, we might lose our friendship.
210
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,340
Now, please put me down.
211
00:14:47,171 --> 00:14:53,559
That's great, Dad. I'm going to say that
to Billy. I better rehearse it a few
212
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,610
times.
213
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,580
I'll get that, son. You work on it.
214
00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:58,910
Dad? Yeah.
215
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:02,200
I hope Billy doesn't look at me and
say...
216
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:03,920
Let's have your blue -blue.
217
00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:07,630
Blue -blue, son.
218
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,250
Blue -blue too, Dad.
219
00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:29,670
Yes, can I help?
220
00:15:39,671 --> 00:15:43,759
I'd rather you didn't call me Billy
anymore.
221
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,660
I prefer to use my given name,
Wilhelmina.
222
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:52,520
Well, won't you come in, please,
Wilhelmina?
223
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,440
I hardly recognize you. You look so
beautiful.
224
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,620
Really? Absolutely.
225
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,130
Thank you.
226
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,660
That's pretty dress, too.
227
00:16:05,661 --> 00:16:07,059
Great color.
228
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:08,200
Well, the color's okay.
229
00:16:08,350 --> 00:16:12,080
But I like this dress because it's long
enough to hide the scabs on my knees.
230
00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:15,600
I'll get Rick for you.
231
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:16,800
Oh, no, no, wait.
232
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,060
There's no hurry.
233
00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:19,970
Could we sit and talk for a while?
234
00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:22,120
Sure, here.
235
00:16:32,370 --> 00:16:33,420
What's on your mind?
236
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:45,460
You see, the thing is... Oh, excuse me.
237
00:16:52,051 --> 00:16:53,619
You
238
00:16:53,620 --> 00:17:01,160
see,
239
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,540
the thing is, I'm sort of interested in
a certain guy.
240
00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:07,099
Billy. Wilhelmina.
241
00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:11,670
Wilhelmina. I think you should be
telling this to Rick.
242
00:17:12,609 --> 00:17:14,829
Why? Not Rick I'm interested in.
243
00:17:15,609 --> 00:17:17,970
If it isn't, who is it?
244
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:03,090
a little bit high density.
245
00:18:03,590 --> 00:18:06,960
If you don't want to eat it, you could
always use it as a paperweight.
246
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:12,170
Oh, no, I'll, uh, I'll just save it for
later.
247
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:24,790
Uh, listen, Wilhelmina, I'm very
flattered that you like me, but, uh,
248
00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:30,010
have you considered the fact that I'm
three times older than you?
249
00:18:33,610 --> 00:18:35,840
lot of good years together before you
croak.
250
00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:45,610
But what I need to know is, how do you
feel about me?
251
00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:50,210
Well, this is very sudden.
252
00:18:50,770 --> 00:18:54,030
Kind of takes me by surprise, you know.
253
00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:57,910
But I think what I could say to you is
this.
254
00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:02,480
Wilhelmina, I really value our
relationship.
255
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:08,610
But if you try to make it romantic, we
might lose our friendship.
256
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:10,900
I'm sure you understand.
257
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:15,260
Yeah, I do. But I'm willing to take that
risk.
258
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,690
Oh.
259
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:28,859
Well... Well, see, the other problem is
that I'm
260
00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:30,720
already involved with another woman.
261
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:34,880
Is it an older woman?
262
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,750
Yeah.
263
00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:40,000
Somebody in high school?
264
00:19:43,980 --> 00:19:45,420
Even older than that.
265
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:48,120
It's my assistant, Kate Summers.
266
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:50,980
Wow, she is old.
267
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:08,050
Miss Summers for advice on how to get
you to notice me.
268
00:20:09,090 --> 00:20:11,390
But she never let on that you were her
babe.
269
00:20:11,391 --> 00:20:16,929
Well, I think that's because she
probably thought that you wanted Ricky
270
00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:18,750
your... babe.
271
00:20:22,350 --> 00:20:24,890
Now I know what it feels like to have a
broken heart.
272
00:20:27,030 --> 00:20:28,190
Oh, Wilhelmina.
273
00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:32,150
I'll never, ever get over losing you.
274
00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:39,820
Well, I know it seems like that now, but
time heals all wounds.
275
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:43,910
And someday you'll meet somebody and
you'll forget all about me.
276
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:45,410
No way.
277
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:03,650
You're pretty.
278
00:21:08,780 --> 00:21:09,830
I am?
279
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,610
Yeah.
280
00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:13,470
Wow.
281
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,090
Thanks.
282
00:21:16,980 --> 00:21:18,900
Listen, do you want to go to the movies?
283
00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:20,710
Okay.
284
00:21:52,501 --> 00:21:54,599
Stay.
285
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:59,150
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