All language subtitles for Rude Awakening s03e13 Telltale Heart

It was a rude awakening,

the start of the longest day.

It was a rude awakening,

now I just have to pay.

No matter where I go, somebody's got to
stay.

I've got a reason to face it that I
haven't learned anyway. When will I find

someone who understands?

When will this slide ever end?

It was a rude awakening.

It was thought of the longest day.

It was a rude awakening.

And I hope it won't always be there.

Mommy, two hours from now and your boob
will be bigger than mine.

With what I'm paying, they'd better be a
whole lot bigger.

Happy birthday, darling.

All I got you was a card. Well, if you
think you're getting me a present, why

don't you run over to Victoria's Secret
and pick out everything they've got in a

D? Yeah, a D as in, damn, there's a big.

Miss Frank?

Hello. Hi, I'm Dr. Zimmerman, a heart
specialist referred by your plastic

surgeon. I'm afraid we're going to have
to postpone your augmentation.

What? What's going on? Well, her pre -op
exam showed some unusual symptoms.

There's a possibility of cardiomyopathy.

Is that a good thing?

Uh, no.

Well, what exactly is this
cardiomyoclockup? It's when the heart

weakened. Oh, so there's nothing serious
then.

Actually, if it goes untreated, it could
lead to heart failure.

I don't like this girl.

Heart failure as in it's not living up
to its potential?

Heart failure as in your heart fails and
you die.

Shit. There are many causes.

Familia, viral, or it could be alcohol
-related.

Your mom must be viral.

Well, yes, I heard on the news the other
day there's a lot of it going around.

That could be, but may I just ask you,
Miss Frank, are you a heavy drinker?

So what would you like me to put in the
chart? I'm very upset.

I came here to get perky a breath, not
to be interrogated by some girl in a lab

coat. My mother is a heavy drinker. I am
not. Well, I may drink a lot, but I'm

not heavy. I'm the same weight I was in
college. Mother.

Oh, I am. Will you be quiet? You weren't
there, so you don't know. Stop.

Okay, so what's next? First, we'll put
your mother on a valiant trip. Why

you say so?

Then we're going to take some blood and
do some more tests.

Doctor, may I suggest that next time you
start with the Valium drip and then

mention death?

I'm so sorry.

No, so am I. Should have got my tits
done by that hack in the valley who

do death.

No, I mean, you know, I did a lot of
drinking, too, and maybe I have the

cardiomalacalaca. I don't know.

Do you hear anything, Matt? Baby, I
can't hear anything. You keep talking.

I'll stop.

But you have to listen very carefully
because there's three ways you can get

Familiarly, virally, and alcoholically.
And I'm three for three.

I don't know what I'm listening for,
honey. I'm not a doctor. Come on, I

at the sight of blood. And I hate
hospitals. I'm not going to sue you for

malpractice. Tell me if you hear
anything.

You know, if you took this off...

I could probably hear a lot better.

Who would hit on a dying woman?

If she was as fine as you, yeah.

Come on.

Technically, we're all dying. Come on,
just shut up and listen.

Hey,

whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

What? I hear something. What?

I hear your heart. Your heart is saying,
hey, I'm trapped inside a crazy woman.

Oh, my. I'm trapped inside a parent. You
know, my mother is in the hospital and

might die, and I may have it, too, which
would be very sad and inconvenient,

because who would handle the funeral if
I'm dead, too? Honey, no one's gonna

die, okay?

Relax. Come on, turn around and give me
that pretty neck, okay?

That won't work, okay? There is no way
that a neck rub will... Will what?

Will ever stop, I'm hoping.

See, everything is gonna be fine.

From what you tell me, your mother is
very, very strong.

Yeah, she is.

And tall.

She's English, you know. Well, there you
go. See, those Brits are tough. They

survived the Nazis. There's no way a
little cardio lock -a -lock is going to

tougher than Hitler.

Even so, will you please go to the
hospital with me tomorrow?

I mean, I'm not a hospital guy, you
know.

Besides, it's not the best time to meet
your mom. She's got tubes coming out of

her body and shit.

Does she have a window?

Because I can stand outside and wave
like hell.

Please.

Okay, but I'm not going to be very
supportive if I'm passed out on the

Oh, sure you will be. I'll prop you up.

Hello, sweetie pea. How are you doing?

Oh, Mama, I'm just awful. I want my boob
job.

Well, we all want that.

Did you get my prezzie? I don't know,
darling. What did you send me? Oh, well,

sent you a lovely bouquet, a box of
teddy bear.

I thought I'd bring you something warm
to hold on to when I'm not here.

Oh, I'd rather have something warm to
hold on to while you are here.

Oh, Trudy, baby, baby.

Oh,

hello, darling.

Look at Martin brought me lovely teddy
bear.

Oh, hi, Mum.

Hello, Billy.

Thrilling to see you.

Mom, I brought someone special to meet
you. Oh, a specialist, finally. Here,

take a look at these. No, Mom, Mom,
Marcus is my boyfriend.

You're dating a doctor?

No, I'm just a journalist.

Here's a story for you. There's a woman
here being kept under false pretenses.

It'll be in the papers tomorrow.

It'll be in the office.

If you'll excuse me.

Or if you could just move out of the
way.

Here. Hello.

Were you two dating, darling? What
happened to Dave?

Well, he broke up with me.

Oh, no. I was so fond of Dave.

Oh, Mommy, way to make Marcus feel
welcome.

I meant nothing by it. No, no, this one
looks like he's got staying power.

Have you, darling? Isn't it true what
they're saying?

Is she heavily medicated?

Always.

Yeah. Well,

I wish I was, too.

The room's starting to spin. I'm going
to wait outside, baby. Good meeting you.

Okay. Oh, darling, darling, darling. Did
I any chance bring that special bottle

of perfume from the house like I asked
you to? No, but I brought you a brand

box from the store.

No, darling, no. I want that special
bottle of mummy's perfume from home. Oh,

you mean the one that's filled with
bourbon?

Are you suggesting that I poured out
perfectly good Chanel No. 5 and used a

series of funnels to fill the bottle
with whiskey? Well, I hadn't figured in

funnels, but yes.

All right, if I did, what's wrong with
that? It's a harmless prank played on

myself. What's wrong with that, Mommy?
You're in the hospital with heart

because your heart is pickled.

Is everybody decent?

No, of course not. So come on in. Hi,
thanks for coming.

I assume you've come to see me since you
dumped my daughter. Oh, mothers.

Yes, I'm here to see you because Billy
told me about your condition.

He said heavily medicated.

That's good. Yeah.

Rudy, here's the deal.

Billy and I... Well, we want you to join
our program.

OK, that way you can get sober and that
way you can get healthy. Yes, I am

healthy and I am sober. And I was until
I came in here. What about your pickled

heart? Darling, darling, once they
figure out that you're insured, they

think of the most expensive illness they
can and give it to you. It is

outrageous. If it weren't for this
Valium drip, I'd leave right now.

Hey, how you doing?

Oh, fine, fine.

Yeah? Yeah.

How'd Billy's mom react?

Oh, man.

She's not ready to get sober.

I hope she gets ready before it's too
late.

You sure you're all right? Oh, yeah. The
smell of death was starting to get to

me. What wing were you with? The one
with the blood, the tubes, and the

Not a good thing.

The hospital's never really bothered me,
which is a fortunate thing because, you

know, I spent the better part of my 20s
in one emergency room or another. I

know. I spent most of my 20s driving you
there. Remember?

No.

Dude. You remember the time that I
dumped my Harley on the freeway and I

that gash in my scalp?

Yeah, no, I remember. Yeah?

Those were some fun times. No, no, they
weren't. I mean, staying up all night at

hospital watching them sew up your big
head wasn't fun for me.

Well, if you hadn't been such a pussy
and had gotten on the back of the bike

with me, then you wouldn't have had to
watch them sew up my big head. Hey,

call me pussy, first of all, okay?
Bitch, second of all, if I'd gotten on

back of the bike with you, we'd probably
both be dead.

Those were some fun times, though, huh?

Huh? I mean, they weren't clean fun,
because of the...

You know, the blood and the pain, but
they were fun.

And the women? The women were fun. Did
we have us some women? No, you had some

women. I had most of the women. Shit.

Bitch, you had the women that I walked
away from. Who said they walked away?

They ran away from your ass, Dave. Okay?
We were some bad men, kid.

Bad.

Speaking of bad.

Dave. Uh, do you need a hand with that?

Uh, yeah.

It's kind of heavy and I need to bring
it inside.

Uh, blood drive.

That's unbelievable, because Marcus and
I were just talking about giving blood,

weren't we, Marcus?

No. Gosh, if you guys would donate, that
would be great.

I'm pretty sure we can get some good,
healthy blood out of a couple of strong

guys like you.

We're running low on the children's
ward.

Well, you just lead the way there,
Lorna.

Great.

Come on, man. Give me a hand with this.

There's no fucking way I'm going in that
hospital and giving blood. The children

need blood, pussy. Don't call me pussy,
bitch.

You're afraid of needles.

You won't give blood. That spells pussy
to me.

Everything spells pussy to you.

I don't know. I look awful.

I haven't slept. I've got no makeup. And
this lighting is dreadful. Oh,

nonsense.

That shapeless cotton gown and plastic
ID bracelet only serve to enhance your

natural beauty.

Your sweet tongue is the only medicine I
need.

Then let me give you another dose.

I tell you to turn your head that I'm
sure you see all sorts of gruesome

every day.

Miss Frank.

We got your blood work back, and your
alcohol level was very high.

Well, yes, I had to drink in the car to
calm my nerves.

Well, surgery and all.

According to this, you must have driven
from Ohio.

Just thinking about Ohio makes me want
to drink.

Occasionally. We're going to do some
breathing tests later to check your lung

capacity. Tomorrow we're going to do an
echocardiogram to verify that you have

alcoholic cardiomyopathy.

I told you, I am not an alcoholic. My
only affliction is being insured.

I'll put that in your chart. Mother,
will you please tell her the truth? You

drink every day.

How would you know?

You only see me once a week, is that?

How do you know that I'm not drinking?

Because I have to see you. You know,
it's a very stressful thing, an

Did you tell the doctor, Dawn? Did you
tell her that you're an alcoholic? No, I

didn't, but I will. I'm an alcoholic.

Bravo. Your turn.

I am very tired.

I want to rest.

Mother, please.

You know what?

That's a good idea.

Why don't you and I step out in the hall
for a moment?

Yeah.

Sorry. I know that didn't go very well.
I'm just trying to help.

I'm in recovery, by the way. Good for
you.

On average, how much would you say your
mother drinks?

I don't know.

A bottle a day, maybe more.

How long has she been drinking like
that?

Five, maybe 30 years.

I knew this was going to happen.

What's going to happen?

Well, it depends on your mom. If she
quits drinking, she could stabilize and

could make a full recovery.

And if she doesn't, she'll be dead
within a year or two.

Sir, what a drag, huh?

I know.

It's not turning out at all the way I
expected.

No, it's not, is it?

No.

I'm sure you'll be back on your
beautiful feet in no time.

Really, darling, do you think so?

I think so.

I know so.

I can't even imagine you being sick.

We'll put all this behind us.

Soon we won't even remember any of it.
Hopefully tomorrow.

Well, some things are very hard, but
they must be done.

That's why I'm just so glad you're here.

Yeah.

Give me your hand, darling.

It's cold.

Warm heart, darling.

Very, very warm.

Uh -huh. So, who's the pussy now?

You're acting like you went ten rounds
with Mike Tyson. Hey, hey, did you see

the size of that needle, man? Yes, I saw
it. They gave it to me, too. Come on,

you're acting like a baby.

I'm not.

I don't like having no giraffes in my
animal crackers.

Pussies don't get giraffes.

Come on, Dave, a pussy or a baby? Make
up your mind. Pussy fucking baby.

Thanks for helping out, you guys. We'll
have the results in 24 hours.

The results?

What, did I win a prize or something? I
mean, besides your heart?

No, for the HIV test.

You test the blood for HIV?

Yeah.

We thought it'd be a good idea to, you
know, protect the populace.

Do my poor head, man. Why so happy?

Nah, that struck me out.

We're imagining shit, right?

We've been kept.

I don't know. I've been drunk half my
life. I've been as careful as I can be

a blackout.

Well, what constitutes careful in a
blackout? I don't know. That's what I'm

saying.

Darling, I'm not usually one for the
dramatic.

Well, you are the one for the dramatic.

Shut up!

If anything should happen to me, I want
you to know that I love you with all my

heart. What's left of it? Well, thank
you, sweetie, but nothing's going to

happen. Yeah, Mommy, it's an
echocardiogram. All they're going to do

your mouth and shout, hello, lo, lo, lo.
It's electrocardiogram.

Fine electric cardiogram.

Electro... I don't care.

My daughter's very pretty, isn't she?
Didn't she? She was on television for

years. What was the name of your show,
darling? Emerald Black. Doesn't sound

right. Are you sure? Martin?

Oh, I'll leave you in Billy's capable
hands.

I'm just going to the gift shop to pick
out something delightfully expensive.

For me, I hope.

Darling, I'm scared.

money. Me too.

How are you going to take care of me?
Oh, shut up. Shut up?

I don't know where she gets it from.

Hey. Hey. Any results in yet?

No.

You get as little sleep as I did last
night? Less, man.

You remember that chick you bet?

The Haitian? Yeah. I mean, at the time I
thought it was exotic, but now... Huh.

Hey, hey, hey. She looked healthy,
right? Very healthy. She looked glowing.

Whatever happened to her? Your vet?
Yeah.

Died. Oh, shit. No, no, it was a car
accident.

Ah.

God, that's relief.

Yeah. I mean, that she didn't, you know,
suffer.

Yeah, like the people with the disease
that I'm sure they're going to fucking

tell me that I got it.

Jesus, man.

I should have gotten it years ago. Yeah.
What's wrong with me, man?

I thought maybe because I was married
for ten years that I wouldn't get it.

know, what if I got it and I got to go
tell Nancy, man? What if I got it? I got

to tell every woman in L .A.

What if you got it? You gave it to
Billy.

And Billy gave it to me.

I'm going to have to beat the shit out
of you. Please do. I would deserve it.

You know what I mean? How much more of a
fuck -up could I be?

I was a whore, Jack. I should have been
tested years ago.

You know? But somehow I figured if
nobody around me got it and I didn't get

checked out, then magically it would be
okay. I'm a fucking asshole. I fucking

hate myself.

Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave. What? Leave this
shit. Get out of here.

Mr.

Adams.

He's gone. Your tests are all clear.

Do it.

Oh, thank God.

Hey, listen, I know I was worried, man.
Look, this is final, right? I don't have

to see a doctor or anything.

Not at all.

Mr. Pirelli.

Yeah? The doctor will see you in a
minute.

What?

What the fuck is that?

It's been extremely difficult to see
your mother like this.

Yeah, I know. It's only the second time
I've seen her without her makeup.

There's something I've been meaning to
talk to you about.

Yeah?

I know that we've been adversarial at
times, but I hope you see that I have

mother's best interests at heart.

In a way, I've saved her life.

In what way?

Well, if it hadn't been for my
insistence on larger breasts, she

come here in the first place.

And we'd never have discovered this
hideous condition.

Yes, your shallowness has served her
well.

Well, thank God it's good for something.

I think I've come up with a plan.

To get her into rehab.

That would be wonderful, but how are you
going to do that? She doesn't even

think she has a problem.

Oh, she will.

Why do you say that?

Because I'm going to leave her.

What?

My lifestyle, the traveling, the
partying, it's too tempting.

She'll never go into rehab with me
around.

That's why I have no choice but to go.

You're walking out on my mother while
she's in the hospital?

Well, if you want to look at it that
way.

Well, that's... the way it is. We're in
the hospital and you're saying you're

walking out. Well, I knew you wouldn't
understand. That's why I wrote her a

letter. Be a dear and give it to her,
will you? What?

I can't give her this. Oh, yes, you can.

My mother needs you. If you loved her,
you would stay here and help her get

better. Look, just because the party's
over for her doesn't mean it's over for

me. You cold, heartless fuck. You can't
just leave.

Oh, yes, I can.

You watch me. That is so fucking...
typical.

Well, glad not to be disappointing you.

Oh, and one more thing. It's a bit
difficult.

You're fired.

God, I have it.

I know it.

I've got it.

We don't really know anything yet. Yeah,
you're right.

You're right.

Mr. Pirelli? Yeah, yeah. Okay, now, this
can't be right. There's got to be

something wrong here. Now, I know I
didn't always use a condom, but I meant

Doesn't that count for something?

Now, what if I was really good starting
right now? There's got to be something I

can do.

Well, I'd recommend a multivitamin.

You'd be fine.

What a multivitamin.

Oh, my. This has gotten the worst press
in the world.

No, you have anemia, that's all.

Try to get more iron.

Anemia? Ha!

Ha! Boo! That was... be me hello martin
it's trudy

i'm feeling absolutely nothing from the
neck down

listen listen do you know what i thought
well of course you couldn't know could

you but listen darling i i think we
should we should go to mexico for my

work because the doctor's down there i
mean they don't care what

Take my health as in. I mean, they'd
stuff implants into fetus, you know, if

paid them enough.

Oh, darling.

Oh, it would be such fun. Oh, yes, it
would. A tits and tequila weekend,

darling. Oh,

what do you think?

Anyway,

listen, you call me, yeah, because I
love you.

All right?

Hey, Pop.

How's everything?

Terrible. I mean, horrible.

It couldn't be worse.

What'd they find?

Is everything okay with her heart? No,
it's weak, and now it's gonna break.

What do you mean? Martin left her. That
fuckdog, asshole douchebag. You know, he

wrote this bullshit letter and left me
to do his dirty work.

No, I can't do this.

Well, baby, you kind of have to. I mean,
she's gonna notice he's gone after a

while. Can't we just pretend he was run
down by a car?

You can't lie to her.

I agree. Let's go do it ourselves.

Billy, Billy.

You've got to face this one.

You know, I don't know why I'm so upset.
I mean, I hate Martin.

You know, I wanted him to leave.

Not right now.

Charlie, oh, thank God you're here,
because I can't reach my makeup bag. Oh,

here you go.

How are you feeling?

Wonderful. I think they should pump
Valium directly into the water supply.

What a great idea.

Fluoride for the teeth and Valium for
the nerves.

Great minds, darling, great minds.

Speaking of great, I don't think we're
able to reach Martin.

He's answering his own phone.

Oh, well, um... Did you try his cell
phone?

Yes, it's funny. It seems like that
company's gone out of business.

He didn't send them to you, did he,
darling? No.

Well, yeah.

But I don't want to tell you what it
was.

What?

Oh, you didn't fight, did you?

Kind of, but... But what?

What, you drove him away with your
spiteful barbs and your hateful facial

expressions? Hateful facial expressions?

Yes, yes, like that one, look.

Come on, I can't believe you.

Me, me?

I am lying, if not at death's door, then
at least at death's lawn. And you can't

be pleasant to the one person I care
about most in the world.

After my children.

Okay, look, Mother, that's not what
happened, okay?

He isn't here because... Shit.

Shit? Because shit, darling? Because you
turned my life to shit by driving him

away? Mom, that isn't what happened.
Look, I don't want to be the one to have

tell you this, but...

Martin left you.

Oh, I'm such a fool.

No, you're not.

I think that a man like that would stick
around with a sick old hag like me. No,

that's not why he left.

No, it's not? No, he left because he's
scared. He's not strong enough.

He loves you too much to see you sick.

Oh, so he left me alone?

I'm here.

Yes, alone with children.

Well, you don't have to be alone, Mama.
You can go into rehab and I will visit

you there every day.

You'll get better and we'll have fun
together.

And who knows, you might meet somebody
there.

You know, there's a lot of cute guys in
rehab.

Hey, maybe you'll even meet a movie
star.

Sure, that's a great plan.

Go to rehab and meet a movie star.

Well, you never know.

I mean, a lot of things can happen.

Apparently.

You're always here, aren't you?

I try to be.

I love you.

My dear.

Don't you worry.

Everything is going to be okay.

I doubt it, darling.

Good news, Miss Frank.

I can go?

Well, of course you can, but I would
advise that what I was referring to is

have an open bed in our alcohol
treatment ward.

Oh, shouldn't that space be kept open
for an alcoholic?

It is.

I resent that insinuation. I want a
second opinion. I'll get you one then.

But I'll tell you, in your condition, if
you don't stop drinking, you won't live

past the year.

It's very exciting news.

Is that the sort of talk we hear on the
drunk ward?

Sometimes. But you'll also hear about
how to eat right, exercise, take better

care of yourself without drinking.

You may even hear yourself saying, I
feel better.

I would truly love to say that and mean
it. Well, why don't you give it a

shot?

Everything's going to be okay.

I doubt it.

Here's your shot of brandy, ma 'am.

Thank you.

Are you traveling?

Yes. Meeting my fiancé in Ackerbrook.

I hope you have a wonderful time.