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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,890 --> 00:00:19,290 Wow. 2 00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:24,130 Wow. 3 00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:49,540 Oh, my God. 4 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,470 Hey, 5 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,050 I'm back. 6 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,620 I hope it is happy hour because I am happy. 7 00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,549 Hey, Billy. 8 00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:09,429 I have. 9 00:01:09,430 --> 00:01:11,840 You gonna have Irish coffee? Easy on the coffee. 10 00:01:11,930 --> 00:01:13,610 I love a man who knows what I want. 11 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:17,420 How many of those have you made, huh? Oh, I'm not sure. I keep passing out. 12 00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:20,110 But I love you. 13 00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:23,620 I guess you could say I have a drinking problem. 14 00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:25,490 Certainly everyone else has. 15 00:01:25,491 --> 00:01:28,909 The first time I noticed it, I was in high school when I was voted girl most 16 00:01:28,910 --> 00:01:29,960 likely to vomit. 17 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:34,250 And so, a toast. 18 00:01:35,090 --> 00:01:36,570 To Mike's bar and bar. 19 00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:40,920 May you never be the designated driver. 20 00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:43,140 This is a story about me getting better. 21 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,950 Although, according to most guys, I was pretty damn good already. 22 00:01:46,951 --> 00:01:51,219 You know, you have the most beautiful eyes. 23 00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:52,320 No, you do. 24 00:01:52,540 --> 00:01:56,150 No, you do. No, you do. I'm telling you, you do. Okay, wait a minute. Let's see. 25 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:58,700 You're right. I do. You do. 26 00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:01,120 Can I take you out to dinner? 27 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:02,610 You're so cute. 28 00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:04,660 You could just plain take me. 29 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,680 Where do you want to eat? Your face. 30 00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:08,230 Any place. 31 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,580 I just, I need to go home and change. 32 00:02:10,581 --> 00:02:12,139 No, no, no, don't change much. 33 00:02:12,140 --> 00:02:13,190 I meant my underwear. 34 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,260 I really like you. Yeah, I really like you too. 35 00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:19,500 You ready to go? 36 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,050 Okay. 37 00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:26,790 I'll drive. 38 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,040 Okay, because I don't know where I barge. 39 00:02:43,829 --> 00:02:44,879 Holy crap! 40 00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:48,050 I have pepper spray! It's okay, Billy. We're all here for you. 41 00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,970 Why are you here for me, Pitt? 42 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:56,040 Well, because I'm your sister -in -law. We're family. 43 00:02:57,790 --> 00:02:59,950 And who the hell are you? 44 00:03:00,270 --> 00:03:03,190 My name is Fran, and I'm a therapist. 45 00:03:03,470 --> 00:03:04,530 Good for you. 46 00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:07,020 What a relief. 47 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:10,149 I mean, I thought you guys were robbers, although now I think I could kick all 48 00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:11,200 you asses. 49 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:12,670 Probably the booth talking. 50 00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:14,410 Billy, this is an intervention. 51 00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:19,109 Your whole family, none of whom could be here tonight, think it's high time that 52 00:03:19,110 --> 00:03:21,429 you take a look and do something about your drinking. 53 00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:25,329 I mean, not only have you ruined your own life, which is, you know, obvious, 54 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,380 you're ruining ours. 55 00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:28,710 Right. You know what? 56 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,410 You guys are crazy. 57 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:35,209 Look, this party sounds like it would be a lot of fun, but I've got that brain 58 00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:39,889 tumor party to go to and a cute guy waiting downstairs. So drink up, or 59 00:03:39,890 --> 00:03:43,560 And, oh, if anyone gets hungry, there's always some food under the couch. 60 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,730 Bia wouldn't want to be ya. 61 00:03:56,830 --> 00:04:00,030 Sure you have your keys? 62 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,779 I hope so. Otherwise, I'll have to do it in the hallway. All the neighbors will 63 00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:06,310 want to join in. It's a friendly building, you know. 64 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,250 Oh. 65 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,090 What? This is it. 66 00:04:13,091 --> 00:04:14,099 This one? 67 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,280 Yeah. Okay. 68 00:04:16,111 --> 00:04:17,859 Let's see. 69 00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:18,910 You got your stuff? 70 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,320 Here we go. Which one? 71 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,880 Is it the big one? Yeah, I hope so. Yeah? 72 00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:28,310 And it goes in the little hole? Just stick it in the little hole. 73 00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:29,830 Oh, wait. 74 00:04:32,450 --> 00:04:33,670 Good. Come on. 75 00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:36,810 This is nice. 76 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:41,169 This is it. This is very nice. Thank you. I like your paintings. Oh, no, no, 77 00:04:41,170 --> 00:04:43,790 no, no. I am the designated unjust. Oh, okay. 78 00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:51,310 Be careful, careful, careful, careful. 79 00:04:51,311 --> 00:04:52,569 You okay? 80 00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:54,110 Yeah, just call me Grace. Okay. 81 00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:55,930 I'm Prince Tommy. 82 00:05:16,590 --> 00:05:17,640 Then I'm naked. 83 00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:20,790 Bad genitals. Bad. 84 00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:23,450 Bad. Hi. 85 00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:25,460 Hey there. 86 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:28,350 You... guy. 87 00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:31,490 You don't remember me? 88 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:37,489 No, no, no. I remember you. I just, um... I remember you with way more 89 00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:38,540 on. 90 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,790 You'll have to excuse me because I'm going to throw up. Hold on. 91 00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:48,070 Are you okay, Billy? 92 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:49,550 Oh, yes. 93 00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:53,520 My culture of throwing up is a sign of great happiness. 94 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,020 What culture is that? 95 00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:01,600 Wow, you must be really happy. 96 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:10,150 Care of the dog. 97 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:15,150 Billy, maybe you should slow down with that stuff. It'll kill you. 98 00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:16,510 Maybe you're right. 99 00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:22,609 Maybe I should get that lump on my face checked out, but I'd rather die at 35 100 00:06:22,610 --> 00:06:23,660 with a whole kit. 101 00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:28,729 I don't know you that well, but my mother, she almost died of cirrhosis of 102 00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:33,110 liver, but then she joined a 12 -step group and she was sober for 15 years. 103 00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:34,810 And she's still sober? 104 00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:39,130 Well, no, she died of cancer last May, but she was sober all the way through. 105 00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:40,690 Except for the morphine. 106 00:06:41,030 --> 00:06:43,130 Look, I really appreciate the sentiment. 107 00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:45,960 Johnny? 108 00:06:46,090 --> 00:06:50,289 Whatever. In any case, after what was probably an embarrassing one -night 109 00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:52,580 stand... No, no, you weren't that embarrassing. 110 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:56,429 And the throwing up. I mean, I think we have to include that in the whole one 111 00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:57,630 -night stand floor show. 112 00:06:58,310 --> 00:06:59,590 That was bad. 113 00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:04,550 Yeah, well, I just think my humiliation quotient is used up for the day. 114 00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:07,869 Well, that's not the only way we could spend some time together. 115 00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:10,969 Unfortunately, my mother is still alive, and I've got to meet her in half an 116 00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:14,910 hour, so... Well, I really like you. 117 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,740 Even with the vomiting and all. 118 00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:20,920 I've been your sick bastard, Johnny, but... Okay. Thanks. 119 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,500 I'll see you later. Okay. 120 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:28,480 Bye. I love you. Are you going to slam the door in my face? You can just do it. 121 00:07:46,730 --> 00:07:47,780 Rough night? 122 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:53,010 Yes. My apartment was invaded by terrorists. 123 00:07:53,011 --> 00:07:55,989 They seem to think they found the nerve center of the city. 124 00:07:55,990 --> 00:07:57,190 I hate when that happens. 125 00:07:58,230 --> 00:07:59,280 Dave. 126 00:07:59,430 --> 00:08:00,690 Billy. Billy. 127 00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:03,080 I don't see you around the building much. 128 00:08:03,290 --> 00:08:04,950 I have a wraith -like quality. 129 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,369 Uh -huh. 130 00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:10,009 Yes, and I would have said more of a, like a Audrey Hepburn breakfast at 131 00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:11,060 Tiffany's quality. 132 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:14,260 I was going more for Lee Remick in Days of Wine and Roses. 133 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,299 That would explain the bloodshot eyes. 134 00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,100 Yeah. Actually, I have a cure for that. 135 00:08:18,101 --> 00:08:21,779 If you give me a call, I'll tell you all about it. Well, this cure doesn't have 136 00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:25,660 anything to do with colonics, does it? Because, uh, it's not my area. 137 00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:27,860 You haven't met the right guy. 138 00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:29,110 Oh. No. 139 00:08:29,111 --> 00:08:30,359 It's addictions anonymous. 140 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:31,410 Oh. 141 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,610 Spare me the effort of throwing this out. 142 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,370 Okay. If you change your mind, I'm in 601. 143 00:08:36,371 --> 00:08:40,699 You know, I would love to change my mind, but they won't take it back. 144 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,120 Bye. Bye. 145 00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:52,340 Bye. Oh, darling. 146 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,210 Hi, Mummy. 147 00:08:54,740 --> 00:09:00,039 I'm so sorry your father and I had to miss the intervention, darling. But he 148 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,540 to get his prostate checked, and I was getting a bikini wax. 149 00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:06,070 Was it fun? 150 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,760 Well, out of the three of us... 151 00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:10,890 I think Daddy had the best time. 152 00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:14,680 Gracias. 153 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:17,520 Antonio, Irish coffee. Easy on the coffee. 154 00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:23,249 I am going to a new agency, darling. Well, I'm sure Tish told you all about 155 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:26,970 intervention. No, I never pay any attention to your sister -in -law, 156 00:09:27,110 --> 00:09:29,610 You know, she reminds me of a giant vagina. 157 00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:33,990 She just talks and talks and talks and has lips. 158 00:09:35,070 --> 00:09:36,990 Well, I didn't stay for it, Mother. 159 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,180 Really? A novel. 160 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:45,480 Well, that's what I'll tell any of my friends to do if they're intervened 161 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,780 Is that the right way to say it? I so don't know. Well, you're the writer. 162 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,670 Inspiring. I mean, I haven't written anything in months. 163 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:59,300 You see, dear, how original that you are an aspiring writer who doesn't write, 164 00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:01,320 and you have a drinking problem. 165 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:06,160 Oh, you think I have a drinking problem? Of course you do, sweetie. 166 00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,470 You're certainly not an alcoholic, are you? 167 00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:13,899 Well, even if you were, you wouldn't want to do anything rash like quitting 168 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,460 abruptly, would you, darling? 169 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,240 Antonia, more mass chardonnay, por favor. 170 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:23,190 Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean you won't bite the heart? 171 00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:27,180 The name of the film is Zombie Heart Eaters. 172 00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:30,540 You know what? Bite it or bite me. 173 00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:35,090 You know, what's taking so long here? Did you tell them Carl Surfer's here? 174 00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,350 No, I... 175 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:41,140 He's in the middle of, let's call it an audition. 176 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:49,540 I think I know you. 177 00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:52,919 Oh, please don't say that. No, no, I do, I do. I think I know you. I don't 178 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,420 remember where I was. I know you. 179 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:58,279 Oh, dear Lord, please don't let me have slept with this man. That would be a 180 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,140 very mean thing to have let me do, Lord. 181 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,600 You were on television. 182 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:02,810 Oh. Right? 183 00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:03,910 Yes. 184 00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:07,949 That's right. Yeah, you were on that show. That show, the girl with the hair 185 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:08,689 the nipples. 186 00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:10,810 She had the nipples that always stuck out. 187 00:11:11,010 --> 00:11:13,030 Yes, we called her Nipple Girl. 188 00:11:14,450 --> 00:11:18,250 Billy Frank from Emerald Bluff. Me, me, me. 189 00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:23,749 Billy Frank. You know, you are marvelous on that show. Just terrific. I watch 190 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,170 you all the time with my mom. 191 00:11:25,570 --> 00:11:28,030 That's sad, Natalie. 192 00:11:29,830 --> 00:11:31,390 Love that girl with the nipples. 193 00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:33,540 Really? Uh -huh. 194 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,170 I fucked her. 195 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,240 Oh, well, that's very nice. 196 00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:41,460 Lily, get in my office. 197 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,200 Hey. I'll probably have to fuck him now, too. 198 00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:49,600 It'll never happen again. 199 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:50,930 Okay, goodbye. 200 00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:54,980 I'm just on the phone with Eric Estrada's agent. 201 00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:59,180 I mean, how in the world can you yell at Eric Estrada like that? 202 00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:00,820 Barb, he won't bite the heart. 203 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:04,260 You're the receptionist. He is a major star. 204 00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:10,419 Oh, Eric Estrada is not a major star. Hey, time out. He is playing the lead 205 00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:14,380 zombie heart eater in this production. As far as I'm concerned, in this 206 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,180 he is as big as Mel. 207 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,580 Gibson? No, Torme. Of course, Gibson. 208 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,380 Oh, come on, come on. 209 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:26,840 Well, somebody out there is running around with boobs akimbo. 210 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:34,310 Oddly enough, that's her stage name. Oh, Jesus Christ, you reek. 211 00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:37,350 What? No, no, no, not your pits. 212 00:12:37,570 --> 00:12:39,190 You stink of booze. 213 00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:42,260 Wow, it's like you went down the entire Napa Valley. 214 00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:43,820 Well, 215 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,560 that still doesn't make Eric Estrada a star. 216 00:12:46,561 --> 00:12:49,969 You know, really, Billy, I've tried to ignore your drinking problem because I 217 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,230 really feel sorry for you. 218 00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:54,830 And your tits are so nice, but it's just not working anymore. 219 00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:56,780 Harp. 220 00:12:58,540 --> 00:13:00,220 What if I wore a little cut blouse? 221 00:13:00,221 --> 00:13:01,299 Yeah, do that. 222 00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:02,350 Okay, I will. 223 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,120 Hey, I'll go get the scissors. 224 00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:05,830 Okay. 225 00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:10,070 Harv. 226 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:14,460 I forgot to tell you there was this guy waiting out here for like an hour, Carl. 227 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,020 Sir? Yeah. 228 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:21,659 Jesus Christ, I told you about him. For crying out loud, he wants to invest in 229 00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:22,710 my next flick. 230 00:13:22,711 --> 00:13:26,319 What are you thinking? Keeping him waiting? Don't you know how to conduct 231 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,940 yourself in a place of business? 232 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:32,360 Hand me my belt, please. Jesus Christ. Look, please don't fire me. I'm... 233 00:13:32,361 --> 00:13:35,779 Don't fire me. I'm not going to fire you. I just want to banish you from my 234 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:37,380 sight for the rest of the day. 235 00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:41,719 No, no, no. Look, except for the fact that I want to sleep with you. I think 236 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:42,659 you as a daughter. 237 00:13:42,660 --> 00:13:43,900 Well, we're like family. 238 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:45,970 And yet not. 239 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:47,150 Come here, baby. 240 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:49,030 Oh, wow. 241 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,050 Oh, 242 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,640 Harv. I'm sorry. I'm starting to enjoy this. 243 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:58,620 Okay. Take back the banishment. Thanks, Harv. Okay. 244 00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,020 Look, I'm really sorry. 245 00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:02,930 I'm going to find Carl and I'm going to fix this, okay? 246 00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:08,300 I am. Okay. And you know what? I am never going to have another drink again. 247 00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:11,080 Okay. Thanks, Harv. 248 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:18,539 I'm going back one day Come what may to Blue 249 00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:21,640 Bayou Whoa! 250 00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:23,590 Hello. 251 00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:37,279 James Mason. 252 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,330 Oh, my God. 253 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:39,890 Jesus Christ. 254 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,140 Oh, crap. 255 00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,959 Naked again. 256 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,940 I can't take you anywhere. 257 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,460 Sugar Lips. I like you much more than Nipple Girl. No, no, no. Carl, stop. 258 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,600 Carl. Carl, stop. 259 00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:54,360 Oh, I like this game. 260 00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:57,510 Look, I'm sorry, Carl, if I gave you the wrong impression. 261 00:14:57,511 --> 00:14:58,239 What do you mean? 262 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,139 Well, I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I like you. 263 00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:04,019 Well, fellatio is generally regarded as a show of affection. 264 00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:05,070 Oh, my God. 265 00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:06,920 Oh, my God. 266 00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:09,270 You gave him head? 267 00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:11,920 You don't even do that for people you like. 268 00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:14,210 Shame on you. Shame on you. 269 00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:15,520 Billy. God. 270 00:15:15,630 --> 00:15:19,360 Billy, if you're concerned about how your boss is going to feel about this. 271 00:15:21,350 --> 00:15:22,400 Crap, crap, crap. 272 00:15:25,470 --> 00:15:30,889 Carl, what if I told you I was really drunk last night and the only reason I 273 00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:34,890 slept with you is because, well, I don't know why I slept with you, but... 274 00:15:34,891 --> 00:15:36,739 It's never going to happen again. 275 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,810 I'd have to tell your boss I'm not going to invest in his movie. 276 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:43,340 Carl, please don't do that. I will lose my job. 277 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,040 Well, maybe we could discuss it. Say tonight, 8 o 'clock. 278 00:15:47,041 --> 00:15:51,819 And it doesn't bother you that, you know, you might be coercing me into 279 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:54,860 sex with you? I mean, Carl, you deserve better than that. 280 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:56,450 No, I don't. 281 00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:03,700 So, okay, so you'll be here at 8. Uh -huh. What should I wear? Your 282 00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:05,300 A pair of heels. 283 00:16:05,350 --> 00:16:06,400 See ya. 284 00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:11,770 Well, I mean, I've always wondered if I could be a hooker, and apparently, yes, 285 00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:13,060 I can. 286 00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:17,490 Don't you want some... 287 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,240 I'm not even a front pooper! 288 00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:17,800 You look good. 289 00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:19,750 You want to be my bitch? 290 00:17:21,310 --> 00:17:22,390 It's very flattering. 291 00:17:23,190 --> 00:17:25,730 I mean, is it a good thing to be your bitch? 292 00:17:26,530 --> 00:17:29,180 Do you have a previous bitch that I could interview? 293 00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:32,850 Calm down. I'm just asking. I just killed a fire hydrant. 294 00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:37,929 If that fire hydrant had been a kid and I'd have killed a kid, I bet I'd have to 295 00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:39,450 beg you to let me be your bitch. 296 00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:43,410 You know, bitch, it's just a figure of speech. 297 00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:45,090 It's not a... 298 00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:49,490 Hey. Wait a second. 299 00:17:49,850 --> 00:17:51,650 What? I know you. 300 00:17:52,310 --> 00:17:57,709 Oh, my God! You played Diana Gateway on Emerald Block! Yeah, that's right! Diana 301 00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,270 Gateway's in jail, baby! 302 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:00,780 All right! 303 00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,950 My bitch is a TV star! 304 00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:07,510 Oh, thank God. 305 00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:12,570 Thanks for coming. 306 00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,740 Nice digs you got here, baby. Yeah. 307 00:18:16,741 --> 00:18:20,439 I like it so much, I'm thinking of putting my toilet in the middle of my 308 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:21,490 room. 309 00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:25,550 Carl's taking his money out of the picture. 310 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,030 Oh, I'm sorry. 311 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:31,680 Well, tomorrow always is another day. 312 00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:37,500 It'll be the... Oh, man, I hate to do this, but I gotta fire you. 313 00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,430 Come on, look. 314 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,060 We'll get you stuff, huh? 315 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,020 I'll give you a drive home. 316 00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:50,690 Harve. Harve. Oh, sorry, babe. 317 00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:52,140 Habits. 318 00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:55,950 Boy, I'm going to miss that, huh? 319 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,060 So am I. 320 00:18:58,310 --> 00:18:59,810 Hey, Billy, do they validate? 321 00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:06,489 And tonight on the Whatever Happened To file, Billy Frank was arrested yesterday 322 00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:07,850 for drunk driving. 323 00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:13,070 Remember her? She was one of the stars of the hit nighttime soap Emerald Bluff. 324 00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:16,330 Here's our interview of the teen queen back in 1986. 325 00:19:16,670 --> 00:19:19,910 And we're not bluffing when we say she was toasted. 326 00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:26,449 Billy, as one of the most popular teens on television, do you consider yourself 327 00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:27,770 a role model? 328 00:19:28,230 --> 00:19:29,280 Oh, absolutely. 329 00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:35,689 As a junior ambassador to our first lady Nancy Reagan's Just Say No program, I 330 00:19:35,690 --> 00:19:37,930 would never do anything to harm my body. 331 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,790 I think of it as a dimple. 332 00:19:41,030 --> 00:19:42,080 A dimple? 333 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,410 Dimple? Your body the dimple? No, no, no. 334 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,410 Hemple. I think a dimple. 335 00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:51,180 Are you high? 336 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,790 I beg your pardon? I'm kidding. 337 00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:01,880 Hello. 338 00:20:01,930 --> 00:20:03,470 Darling, you're on TV. 339 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:05,650 Really? I had no idea. 340 00:20:05,970 --> 00:20:10,149 So the court is making you go to your first alcoholics meeting tomorrow. What 341 00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:11,230 are you going to wear? 342 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:15,899 I thought I'd go with taupe. Oh, darling, do you think that's smart with 343 00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:19,219 complexion? Mm -hmm. It's what they recommend in Glamour. They have this 344 00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:24,840 alcoholic stews and don't spread less one. They think of everything. And 345 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:29,560 darling, be sure to take this whole 12 -step stuff with a grain of salt. 346 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:34,820 I hear it's very time -consuming, like Scientology, but with uglier building. 347 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,560 Yes, and less famous celebrities. 348 00:20:37,980 --> 00:20:39,780 Yes, darling, so you'll fit right in. 349 00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,540 Thank you, Mommy. 350 00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:51,810 Hi. Hi. 351 00:20:52,390 --> 00:20:53,470 You're Billy, right? 352 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,730 The girl that lives in Dave's building? 353 00:20:56,370 --> 00:20:57,750 Why? Does she owe him money? 354 00:20:57,930 --> 00:20:58,980 No, Billy. 355 00:20:59,470 --> 00:21:02,270 I'm Jackie, and I just wanted to say hi. 356 00:21:02,670 --> 00:21:03,990 So, hi. 357 00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:05,840 Hi. 358 00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:08,390 We're going to be neighbors soon. 359 00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:10,430 I'm moving in with Dave next week. 360 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:15,399 Oh, well, then congratulations. You'll be one of the many people I avoid in the 361 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,510 hallway. Well, you won't be able to do that. 362 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:22,580 I just wanted to say, welcome to Addictions Anonymous. 363 00:21:23,540 --> 00:21:27,620 Oh, well, I thought I'd stumbled into Club Med. 364 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:32,899 I know exactly how you feel. Well, and you would know that I feel like hitting 365 00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:38,319 you. God, I'm so stupid. You know, I was coming on way too strong, and you, you 366 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:39,370 picked up on that. 367 00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:40,850 You know, you're great. 368 00:21:41,770 --> 00:21:45,589 You should hit me. I mean, I wish you would hit me. Well, you're wanting me to 369 00:21:45,590 --> 00:21:47,330 sort of takes the fun right out of it. 370 00:21:47,530 --> 00:21:51,669 God, I can't make you happy. I totally messed up this whole trying to help you 371 00:21:51,670 --> 00:21:55,029 thing. You know, my sponsor tells me to reach out, so I reach out. No, wait, 372 00:21:55,030 --> 00:21:58,769 look, okay, you've reached me. No, really. I mean, you're sweet and you're 373 00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:03,070 and friendly, and I'm just being obnoxious because I am. 374 00:22:04,350 --> 00:22:05,750 Do you feel bad about that? 375 00:22:06,310 --> 00:22:07,910 No, no, don't feel bad. 376 00:22:09,050 --> 00:22:11,630 I mean, we're all obnoxious in the beginning. 377 00:22:12,450 --> 00:22:18,749 You know, at my first meeting, I poured coffee on a deaf guy because he wouldn't 378 00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:19,800 answer me. 379 00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:21,370 I didn't know he was deaf. 380 00:22:21,930 --> 00:22:25,060 I just thought he was making these threatening hand gestures. 381 00:22:25,550 --> 00:22:29,590 But I've been in the program for ten years. I should be able to handle 382 00:22:29,970 --> 00:22:32,380 I can't believe you've been sober for ten years. 383 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:36,670 Well, ten days this time. 384 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,200 I just got out of the rehab again. 385 00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:41,420 God, I love that rehab pudding. 386 00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:44,440 Here's my pager number. 387 00:22:44,940 --> 00:22:47,020 Call me before you start drinking. 388 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:51,140 And I would do that because... I may go with you. 389 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,400 God, I'm so depressed. 390 00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:56,350 Billy. 391 00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:57,550 Right? Hey! 392 00:22:57,580 --> 00:22:58,630 Hey! Hey! 393 00:23:01,030 --> 00:23:04,929 Cop with the haze. Hey, God, I can't believe you made it here. What is it 394 00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:06,130 you people and hugging? 395 00:23:06,190 --> 00:23:07,570 No, I'm copping a few. 396 00:23:08,090 --> 00:23:09,530 Really? Yeah. 397 00:23:09,830 --> 00:23:11,450 Would you move from side to side? 398 00:23:11,710 --> 00:23:13,490 I want to cop a few, too. 399 00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:15,550 Yeah, it's all right. She's a lesbian. 400 00:23:15,650 --> 00:23:17,350 Oh, your breasts are great. 401 00:23:17,550 --> 00:23:19,410 They're really perky and high up. 402 00:23:19,630 --> 00:23:22,790 Now you know Jackie. No, I don't know Jackie. I barely know you. 403 00:23:23,010 --> 00:23:24,060 Oh, who cares? 404 00:23:24,330 --> 00:23:26,450 Coffee. Coffee. I hate coffee. 405 00:23:26,910 --> 00:23:27,960 Sit down. 406 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,340 It's been such a long time. I'm so glad you made it here. 407 00:23:34,341 --> 00:23:35,699 You guys know each other? 408 00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:37,580 We were on Fantasy Island together. 409 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,320 Our fantasy was to be black. 410 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,820 Whatever happened with Ricardo Montalban? 411 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:44,900 Does anybody really know? 412 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,160 You were so awful on this show. 413 00:23:49,380 --> 00:23:52,480 Girl, let me... My card. 414 00:23:52,820 --> 00:23:53,960 You call me anytime. 415 00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:55,590 Oh, yes. 416 00:23:55,940 --> 00:23:59,480 I mean, I always call people who tell me I'm awful. 417 00:24:02,350 --> 00:24:03,400 on Fantasy Island? 418 00:24:03,990 --> 00:24:05,040 Oh. 419 00:24:05,310 --> 00:24:08,260 Blackouts. Yeah. One time I came out of a blackout in Tijuana. 420 00:24:08,670 --> 00:24:10,780 There I am in bed with a hooker and a donkey. 421 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:15,090 The hooker was pissed, the donkey confused, and I had a sombrero on my 422 00:24:15,690 --> 00:24:17,190 Is there a point to this story? 423 00:24:17,450 --> 00:24:22,750 Yeah, the point is that I understand how you feel. Well, I feel like a jerk. 424 00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:24,180 Oh, yeah. 425 00:24:24,370 --> 00:24:25,420 So do I. 426 00:24:25,570 --> 00:24:27,050 I just don't act on it. 427 00:24:27,950 --> 00:24:29,000 And... 428 00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:31,350 Yeah. Yeah. 429 00:24:31,351 --> 00:24:34,519 Basically, pretty much, that's it. You know, it's like the other day I was out 430 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:35,600 with my sister, okay? 431 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,200 And I thought to myself, I wonder what it would be like to fuck her. 432 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,300 But I didn't act on it. 433 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,080 Oh. You see? 434 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:49,360 I don't think that's such a big accomplishment, Dave. No, see, for him, 435 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,290 You haven't seen my sister. Yeah, she's a hottie. 436 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,530 Fine. 437 00:24:53,820 --> 00:24:54,870 Meeting time! 438 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,690 going to take a long time. Not really, just the rest of your life. 439 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,580 Oh, well, then I guess I'm going to miss happy hour. 440 00:25:03,020 --> 00:25:05,340 What did get you here, anyway? 441 00:25:05,740 --> 00:25:08,140 A fire hydrant ran into my car. 442 00:25:08,380 --> 00:25:09,430 Oh. 443 00:25:10,140 --> 00:25:11,460 Is that so hard to believe? 444 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,680 Absolutely not. A pack of girl shots ran into mine. 445 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:16,420 I was looking up their skirts. 446 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:28,299 Although that is my favorite part of the meeting. But if there's anyone with 30 447 00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:31,380 days or less sobriety, we'd like you to identify yourselves. 448 00:25:37,100 --> 00:25:39,700 Hi, my name's Jeff, and I'm an alcoholic. 449 00:25:40,180 --> 00:25:41,230 Hi, Jeff. 450 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,540 I'm Jackie, and I'm an addict. 451 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,130 Hi, Jackie. 452 00:25:46,540 --> 00:25:49,340 Hi, I'm Billy, and I was sent by the court. 453 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,440 So the important thing is... 454 00:25:53,660 --> 00:25:54,920 I've taken the first step. 455 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,170 Darling, you've made it through your first alcoholics meeting. 456 00:26:05,220 --> 00:26:07,300 I am so proud of you. 457 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,500 Here's a toast to you, darling. 458 00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:11,120 Cheers. Chin chin. 459 00:26:11,121 --> 00:26:14,919 Bottoms up. Well, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you, darling? 460 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,680 Okay, so it wasn't a step forward. 461 00:26:16,900 --> 00:26:18,580 So who says you have to go forward? 462 00:26:18,940 --> 00:26:20,020 Get off my back. 463 00:26:20,070 --> 00:26:24,620 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35404

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