Original subtitles

Previously on Resident Alien.

We gotta put a stop to this thing. Sounds like this mantis is planning on

turning old mining days into an all -you -can -eat buffet.

Look!

It's so unfair. It's the heart of the festival, helping Harry kill the mantis.

I'm the only one that can actually be alien.

Hi, I'm Robert Peter Bach, son.

Your father is alive.

Remember way back when Max said the Newtown Doctor is an alien and you

threatened to throw him in jail?

Galera? Hi.

Max? Max?! Now that you're all here, it's time that we come out with the

isn't it?

Just so we're clear, I still don't trust you. You just need to get over

yourselves and work together.

I'll try to lure it into the mine. Once we bait the mantid into the elevator,

we're going to fry it with electricity.

Max, just in time. You're in the bus to go into the mine.

I see it.

Tepsi Liv is the mantid.

not great bitty well you sit tight now we got 58 people out here plus me gonna

get you out 59 people to save one minor yeah too many people

jammed in one tunnel it's not safe get them out of there it's gonna collapse

too many people.

Humans lived in caves for thousands of years until they came out into the light

and invented things like beach volleyball and skin cancer.

But to change and grow, sometimes humans have to go back into the darkness

again.

I will come out of this darkness changed.

Or maybe not come out at all.

Which would be sad.

I saved half of my pizza from last night, and I could have just finished

whole thing.

Your deputy said she followed a smoking man in here. I do not smell smoke.

Well, a deputy to live is no liar, so if she says she saw a smoking man, she saw

a smoking man.

Maybe your nose is on. My nose is on?

End idiot sucking.

All I smell is your fear like rotten fruit and garbage. My fear doesn't have

smell, because I don't have fear. Hell, if somebody was born without fear scent

glands, I could donate mine to them, because mine never get used.

Wait, did you step in raccoon poop?

You know what I might have, yep.

Yeah, that is your fit.

Well, okay.

We might need to split up.

Yes.

I will go this way.

You go back to the entrance and wait. What?

The hell I will.

You can play with your phone if you want.

That's a no -go, alien doc. I need to lure that thing into my electrified mine

shaft elevated track.

It will kill you before you get to electro... Oh, really?

I am the only one who is capable of killing a mantid. Oh, yeah? How many

you killed?

With my hands or with weapons?

Either. Well... I would have to count.

How long would that take?

I'm done.

Not long.

How about you?

About the same.

Fine. Let it die.

Fine. We'll work together.

Fine. I'll slow it down with the shotgun and then you finish it off.

Now we just have to decide which one of these tunnels to take.

All right. Yeah. Together.

Together is best. The truth of the matter is we come up against that head

-eating son of a bitch up in here.

Probably going to take both of us.

Damn it.

Hey.

Go ahead. Tell her what you saw.

The mantid is Deputy Baker.

I saw it going into the mines.

The mocks have shapeshifted into her at some point. I have to go in and warn

Harry. Absolutely not.

It's too dangerous.

Um, okay.

You two stay put. I'm going to circle around from the south entrance shortcut.

There's a hole in the fence. Teenagers have to go through to party in there.

I forget I said that. Okay. Never party in there.

Or anywhere.

Make good choices.

Let's go.

What? There's a shape -shifting alien in there. It's too dangerous. I can't go

in.

You can't either.

I have to.

Mac!

Please don't die.

Hey, all right. Next up.

Our three -time winner of the Harriest Leg Competition, sponsored by our third

-grade class, you know her, you love her, Charmaine Downley!

Have you seen Mike?

No, isn't he with you? No, he was, but he jumped out of the car at the gas

station. See, this is why I keep wanting money in the budget for a deputy mayor.

I've got too much going on to run this town by myself.

Oh.

Wow! Half an inch, even longer than last year. I dare say by next winter, you'll

be flooding in shorts.

It's Max.

He went into the mine after Harry.

The mantid's in there.

Harry!

Max! Tiffany Baker is the mantid.

She went in here. She must be down one of these tunnels.

Thank you for telling me it was brave.

Now, run!

No! I want to help.

Why does everyone keep telling me I can't? Because you are a child.

Yes, you are tall.

And yes, in the evenings you smell like a dead animal, but a child.

Plus, your father would be mad if I let you die. I will never hear the end of

his whining.

You hear that whining? That's the voice that will haunt my dreams.

Go to him now.

You have done all you can here.

Although you could have brought me a churro.

Now go.

Go!

Okay. Dr.

Vanderspiegel, there you are. I got totally lost and the mantid is here

somewhere. Have you seen the sheriff?

Boo!

Boo, you are a bad actor!

I know you are the mantid, and no one even had to tell me.

Good,

I hated being that one.

Oh, my God, aliens are so cool.

Well, now you are one, honey. Enjoy.

Anyway, I was going to kill you and the idiot sheriff together, but now I'll

have to do it one at a time. No, and it's you who will die one at a time.

there's only one of me, so...

Well, then I guess I will kill you twice.

You couldn't even do it once. You ran away like a little bitch.

I am not the same weak human that you faced the last time.

You are looking at a powerful yet emotionally available alien. The one I

with free pizza.

Yeah, too bad for you.

I've already eaten.

You're an alien. I knew it. I knew your ass was working with the mantid. He is.

The mantis. Shoot him. What? No.

She is the mantis. She stole my mantis. Shoot him. Shoot her. You know me, Mike,

and you've never trusted Harry. Not since you first met him and said he

funny. That is very mean. The truth hurts.

Time to go up.

It's time to go up.

Where's mommy, daddy?

Where's auntie, auntie?

Are they in your stomach?

Are they in your nose?

Are they having fun?

at you, Sheriff Big Balls.

Where's my deputy?

How did you know it wasn't her?

Because the real Deputy Leah would never address me as Mike. She calls me sir.

She has too much respect for the hierarchy of rank. And you never really

that I had a funny walk.

No, I did say that. I can't even walk behind you. It's very odd. I don't know

how to explain it. Where is she? Where is Deputy Leah? You mean Schrodinger's

deputy. Oh, I don't want to ruin the surprise.

Who the hell is Schrodinger?

Isn't that the kid that played the piano on Venus?

No, it meant the concept in quantum physics where until we see Deputy Liv,

is both alive and dead at the same time. Okay, well, I choose the lie.

You choose dead.

I think it meant it as a joke. Okay, well, it wasn't funny.

It's edgy. I don't like edgy comedy. I'm more observational, you know, like

airline food and how people walk and whatnot.

What? Come on, let's go. Get that, get that, come on.

I walk normally.

See?

I walk normally.

Max?

Where are you?

I still don't see how he snuck away with you right there at the pump. I wasn't

at the pump. I had the guy do it.

You used full service?

Don't start. I mean it.

Mom! Dad!

Max!

Oh, my God.

You're okay. I'm sorry. Buddy, you scared us.

Okay, let's go. We have to get out of here. Come on. No.

I just can't get my chaser.

What?

No. Harry needs me.

The Mantid is a shapeshifter. It could be anyone.

Anyone?

Really? You think I'm a Mantid? I thought you could pump your own gas.

know? Oh, my God.

It's neither of you.

And I would know since I can see aliens.

Right. I'm the only one who can help.

Get it?

We get that you are a son.

That's what we get.

Now, come on.

No. Yes.

You come with us right now or... No allowance.

When the government hires me because I can see aliens, I won't need allowance.

Okay. Well, then... No bike riding, okay? Your bike's ours now. Yeah, I'll

it to work. Thanks for the bike.

Pretty sure they'll hire me a driver.

So what are we doing now? I don't know. The threats were our only parenting

tool.

Okay. But we're coming with you. Yes.

Mom, that's so embarrassing.

Oh, hon, there is a spider right by your head.

What?

I'm keeping this.

You can't do this on your own. You're not strong enough.

Yes I am!

Wait.

My dad would never say that.

That was our stuff. Our stuff!

There you are.

Liv is the mantid. We know. Did you see her?

There you are.

Liv is the mantid. Uh, no.

I'm not the mantid. She is.

Okay, we're not doing this again. Which is it? I don't know. Why don't you ask

him about my funny walk?

Come on, come on.

Before it gets away, come on.

Come on.

Follow me.

Be careful. These rocks just fell.

Come on. This is an older cave system.

I would not suggest shooting that gun in these caves.

Careful, Max.

Hey.

Jed Calhoun, the lost miner.

59 died to save one.

about to die anyway.

You just made it more fun.

Where's my deputy, you son of a bitch? And why are you still being her?

So you know what she'll look like when she dies.

What?

No.

When she dies, you hear that? That means she's still alive.

Really not that bad.

I could have just gone to the medical tent at the festival.

No, no, no, this is good. We have a place to ourselves.

At the tent, they make you write down how you got injured, and I never know if

Mantid is capital.

God, I can't believe that you have been doing stuff like today just every day,

and you haven't been able to tell anyone?

Not every day.

Some days, a lot.

Okay, both.

But, you know, I take stuff to sleep. Oh, God, can I have some?

Yes. Oh, that is definitely a sprained ankle. Okay, I'll roll up the sock here.

Hold that. I'll be right back. Okay. I have to get a wrap.

Okay, I called Liv's husband John to come in, and where did you find those

-donuts? In the mayor's desk.

Damn, he told me the vending machine wasn't restocked. As soon as we find

Liv, I'm going to call for his impeachment.

If husband John can tell us where she went, then we can find the mantid's egg

sack and end this.

No, no.

We find Liv, then the egg sack, in that order.

It is the same order. The mantid said it was already dying, which means that it

had completed its life cycle and its mission.

To mate.

Are you telling me that thing mated with my deputy?

I do not know. But the eggs take two weeks to gestate, so there is still time

save her and to buy a nice gift for her alien baby shower.

I'm getting a breath pump.

I tried to call you.

I was in a mineshaft. You okay?

I found Agent Gardner.

You found Jules?

Is she alive?

No. And I have seen dead bodies before, Mike. You know that I have seen dead

bodies before. But this was... Oh, my God.

Her abdomen was open like netting dolls and goo and webbing.

Oh, that's not good. No.

No, it's not. Does it seem like I'm putting a positive spin on it? The empty

abdomen? That is where the egg sac would have been. So it was Agent Gardner, the

mantid, impregnated, not Deputy Eeyore.

Well, that's a good thing, at least.

Yes, it is good that the deputy was not impregnated.

Mantid postpartum depression is a very real thing. Yeah, no shit. I'm gonna

it for years now.

That's edgy. Oh, I'm so sorry, Mike.

Sorry about what?

All of it.

And I should have believed you. Jules might still be alive. And now we have to

kill all the aliens.

Hey!

Watch it, sister.

Oh, uh, yeah.

Um, he's one.

Hi.

Listen, I'm glad that you believe me, but right now we need to find Deputy

Now, if he didn't need her to mate, why else would he keep her alive?

I have a theory, but you're not going to like it.

Are we in your storage unit?

Yeah. I keep a giant stack of mantid babies, you know, in case I run out.

Well, how'd that happen?

The last thing I remember is that Jules, the mantid one, followed us back to the

storage place and attacked us.

This thing, I have no idea.

I do.

The mantid are a parasitoid species, meaning they lay their eggs in a host

And then when they hatch, they use that body for food.

Okay. These eggs aren't in the body anymore.

So, when the hungry mantid babies hatch, their food will have to be...

I got your message in campus last night, kid. Have you heard from Liv? Not yet,

but we're going to find her. I guarantee it. You should not guarantee it. I

guarantee it 100%. Detective Tora, did your wife tell you where she was going

the last time you spoke to her? Yeah, she said she was going to take Robert,

alien tracker's son, to our storage unit to hide him from the secret government

agents because he thought hybrid humanoid aliens were following him.

weird.

She never mentioned having a storage unit. That is literally the least weird

thing in that sentence. We got it when I had enough of her filling up the

garage. I'm more of a toss -it -out guy, but Liv, you're... You can talk about

your whore and her wife later. Tell us where the storage unit is before your

wife gets eaten by space bugs.

What? Just go. Go, go, go. I'll fill you in in the car. Come on.

Austin?

Everything okay in there?

Arthur? Oh my god!

Arthur! Arthur!

Arthur,

wake up!

When you open that door, I got to warn you, we don't know what we're going to

find in there. Tell him about Schrodinger. No. From Peanut?

Just open it and get back, all right?

She kept the croquette there. We never played it once.

Damn. That's a bad lead.

So what are we supposed to do now? If he does not want it, I will take the

croquette then.

The cameras were shut off, but we're in the right place.

How do you know? You found an alien fingerprint or something?

Sort of. The security guard has no head.

Oh, my God.

Okay, so we know we're in the right place. We just got to figure out what

they're in. All right, come on, y 'all. Let's go.

Call Terry. He's not picking up.

Well, the black stuff in her veins has gone down. That's probably good.

Yeah, I couldn't see much during the fight, but I think that's where the man

grabbed her.

Maybe she got some kind of poison.

Yeah, well, he won't be poisoning anyone else anytime soon. Kate zapped the crap

out of him with a taser. Well, Harry crushed his head with that miner's

Did Ben tell you we found Jed Calhoun, the missing miner? Probably going to be

on the news.

Yeah, well, just that part, not the mantid. Harry sent that through a space

portal to something called the Galactic Housing Council.

We sang Wheels on the Bus.

Okay, you got a foot up, John. You come with me.

Getting worried about the town.

Me too. If those eggs hatch and multiply, the council will blame me and

throw me in the acid pit.

Hey, I don't care about no damn council. All I care about is getting my deputy

back. So you use whatever freaky alien powers you have to make that happen or

you get the hell out of my way because I'm not losing her. Do you understand?

You did not let me finish. They will throw me in the acid pit.

And then I will not be able to save the deputy.

There, I'm done.

I feel like you just added that so I wouldn't be mad, but I'm too angry to be

mad.

Here, leave an ass for me.

So now what? We gonna split up again?

Harry!

This way, hurry!

After? What?

This way.

Wait, how do you know? Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?

Because Oscar's dying.

What do you mean, Oscar's dying?

I think her soul is trying to leave her body.

She is between life and death.

So how'd she find you?

I cannot explain it without doing a jingle dance. She's part of everything

I have to leave to stop this from happening. Okay, look, man, I get it,

right? When my mom died...

At that exact moment, I felt her come to me and tell me to take care of my dad,

okay? I believe it. But I don't know what we're going to be up against when I

find my deputy. And you're the strongest guy here. That's just a fact, okay?

So I need you.

Go.

Help him.

Save Liv.

Save everyone.

All right.

For you.

Wow. For me?

Thanks, man. I mean, I was just speaking from the heart. I'm just trying to keep

it real. Not for you.

Not for me? I thought you just said it was for me. You ain't got to make up

mind, man. You're playing games with my heart.

God, I hate this.

I never like crying.

Something that alcohol is good for is keeping those feelings way, way down.

These days, I'm like a tear fountain.

There's probably enough vodka in there to throw a wedding reception.

Unless there's plenty of drugs in here to help numb the feeling.

But I really want that 30 -day chip.

It's the perfect thickness to help our table stop wobbling.

That was a joke.

Apparently that's another thing I do.

Use humor to cover my fears.

I'm learning so much. Yay.

It's just different seeing you like this.

Needing help.

I remember the first time, one of the only times I ever saw you admitting you

got hurt was when you got hit in the head with that dodgeball that Katie

threw. Remember her?

Jesus.

She got held back a grade, and her parents were Germans, and she was the

a prison guard.

So I knew that all really hurt.

You hated meeting anyone.

You hated everyone fussing over you.

I never had that problem.

You know that.

But I need you to take care of you now.

Do what you need to do.

Just live.

away from the exit me no that's stupid shut up okay i'm sorry my

survival instincts are very

Oh, Jesus.

Come back here, you little penis monster.

God, this weapon is like metal. Vivian.

John. Oh, Lena, you got a knife?

Of course. Oh, and that's why I love you. Cut him loose. Sit, you little

grizzled pig.

Taste the bottom of my foot.

More than a hatchet. Okay, you know what? This is taking too long. Let's

drag him out and lock the outer door.

That's not going to work.

No, they will.

Well, that's new.

All right, sister, rise.

Yes?

Drop it.

That's a robot man.

Yes. Yes, it is. Hey, where's Harry?

What's happening to her?

The infection from the mantid scratch is trying to release her life force from

her body. But Joseph got mangled by the mantid. Why didn't that happen to him?

Maybe because Joseph's part alien?

Yes.

That's if I'm immune too.

I would transfuse her with my blood.

And if she can survive that, your blood will save her.

Yes, that.

Creatures of all kinds find ways to change.

Birds were once dinosaurs.

A caterpillar turns into a chrysalis and comes out a butterfly.

People go into spa retreats and come out vegetarians.

I do not want Asta to change.

I like her the way she is.

But as long as she is alive anywhere, I will be happy.

How's she doing?

Any changes?

She will live.

Good. Are you sure?

Yes, I'm a doctor.

Not really.

Not more than you.

Still no.

It's in hospice hands now.

Yeah?

You're not worried?

Sure am.

I don't want her to go.

I'd had to take Harry out more than once if he got her hurt.

But here we are.

And my people know that we only walk here on Mother Earth for so long.

It's a gift.

Not a guarantee.

But my father was dying.

I figured it was because of the morphine.

But he took my hand and he said, I'm just waiting here for my horse to come

pick me up.

And then I'm going to leave.

I'm ready to go.

I am ready.

I can wish for Asta to...

to stay here.

She has a lot more to do here, I think.

But it's the person who's on the edge of life who gets to decide.

You will live.

You're a good man.

How's the ankle feeling?

I'm okay.

It's probably adrenaline.

About Max.

I know.

You should have some consequences for jumping out of the car while you were

having someone pump your gas.

No.

We need to admit that he's right.

About? About what he said to me in the car today while I was paying a total of

48 cents more to not get gas on my shoes.

He has a gift.

Today we watched our son save people's lives, including ours.

I know, right?

Same kid who's never even finished a book report.

Yeah.

We've been trying to protect him and guide him in a book report world, and

been out there living who he is.

But, you know, he couldn't tell us who he is because he knew that we wouldn't

let him be that.

So, again, bad parents.

No.

You know, what kind of parents let their kids go out fighting aliens?

I'm just trying to keep up. Yeah, me too. This shit's not on the mommy blog.

Yeah. But we are so lucky.

Today, we saw him.

You know, who he is.

Yeah.

And we saw me.

I mean, did you see me? Yeah.

You know, not even afraid is very... Oh, I was so afraid. But I didn't let it

stop me.

I want to live like that all the time.

Not letting fear stop me.

I love it.

Maybe you can teach me that.

Hey, I'm not a miracle worker.

Hey,

I'll do the weight.

I'm so glad you did not die.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, it's like Wizard of Oz.

Everyone I love around my bed.

This is the perfect time to speak to all of you together.

Hooker thinks I have a funny walk.

No, that is not true.

That's horseshit.

How is it funny?

Well, I don't know. It's kind of like a giant toddler.

Yeah, but like a drunk one. Yeah, chasing after a duck. A duck?

Ducks are the stupidest birds.

Everybody out.

The patient needs to rest or else, you know, she'll die.

Okay. Try to shut up.

Oh, Kate, I never did your leg.

Oh, I'm fine. I'm going to grab an ace bandage and self -medicate like a

sorority pledge. Okay, please put ice on it.

Can I put the ice in bourbon first?

Yeah, even better.

So I wanted to say to you... I heard you.

You did?

Yeah.

I heard it all.

and backwards.

Like there wasn't even a now.

It was just always.

It's hard to explain.

But we're good.

We're so good.

All right.

Here you go. Okay.

I knew I would never find Robert by just wandering the earth.

Plus, every time I get wet, I glitch.

I have to put myself in rice.

I figured that those government folks had kept an eye on Robert this whole

I knew it.

So I turned on my tracker, I let them find me, and I made a deal.

They get me to Robert, and I will help them when they need me.

Well, lucky us, because y 'all got here just in time.

But now that you've found me, you can just switch your tracker off again.

Well, that wouldn't be the right thing, Robert.

Maybe that's how other kidnapped boys behave, but not my son.

Sorry, Dad.

Okay, we need to go. I just called in the security guard's death, and this is

about to become a crime scene.

Oh, well, Sheriff, Liv, thank you for everything.

You've been true friends.

Tate, now I'm gonna cry.

Thank you for everything.

I mean it.

Let's go, son.

So, uh, where'd John go? Getting his golf clubs out of the storage unit. I

he'd want to play again.

Well, deputy, you finally saw an alien.

And not in human form, but, you know, with the whole alien body and head and

everything, huh? Congrats.

Congrats? The little bastards tried to kill me.

I don't ever want to hear the word alien again.

Damn.

Okay.

I feel buzzy

and so hungry.

That is the effect of my blood.

Well, thank you for your alien blood, which is a normal thing to say now, I

guess.

You are welcome.

Can I have some of your pie?

No.

Okay. You know, it was so strange.

The infection released me and I felt free.

Like flying untethered. Like high above everyone and their problems.

You could just say like emerged.

Because I would understand that.

But more than that, it's like I could see their problems, but I didn't have to

fix them.

That was different.

Different for me, anyway.

Dad, is that selfish that I liked it? You are not selfish.

You are giving.

You should give to yourself now.

Yeah, that's what Darcy said, too.

Maybe I should give a little something to myself.

Not a bad idea.

Maybe a spa retreat.

But do not come out a vegetarian.

That's a common thing.

I'm glad you said that.

Not that part, but, um... I think to have the feeling that I had

for real, you know, the freedom, I need to let my heart find

where it belongs.

I need to leave here.

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

It's okay.

It is?

Yes.

After hearing Dan talk about how little time we have on the planet, or any

planet... I need to go now.

I do not belong here anymore.

I need to be with Heather.

We're leaving.

Time is like fire.

It can harden things like rocks and bread, or soften them like butter and

Not all change is the same, but all things change.

No. Harry,

no.

Asta came close to death to learn what she wants.

And I came trillions of miles to Earth.

Now the threat here are gone.

We can both finally be what our journey through fire has made us.

Who we were meant to be.

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