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1
00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:02,877
[? guitar strumming]
2
00:00:08,794 --> 00:00:10,843
[beer hisses]
3
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,221
[? theme song playing]
4
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,070
?
5
00:00:34,903 --> 00:00:36,952
[? theme concludes]
6
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:39,121
[? upbeat guitar music playing]
7
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,914
I've been tellin' everyone I know
8
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:43,334
Robata Chane is the place to go.
9
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,337
I knew there was a reason
you were my favorite customer.
10
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:49,048
Last time the Germans
and Japanese teamed up,
11
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,675
I wasn't a fan, but this is delicious.
12
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:54,596
I call it the Axis of Flavor.
13
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,014
Hold up. Who's burning toast?
14
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,807
Not me. Just meat.
15
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,934
Huh? Weirdest thing.
16
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,853
I've been smellin' burnt toast all week.
17
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,230
- [sniffing]
- You should get that checked out.
18
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,315
They say that's a sign of-
19
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,484
Nah, [laughs] I'm sure it's nothin'.
20
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,569
[slurping]
21
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,487
[smacks lips]
22
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,905
[? church organ playing]
23
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,283
[Bobby Hill]
He was the same age as my dad.
24
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:18,827
"Peter enjoyed watching football,
grilling steaks,
25
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:21,955
and mowing his prized lawn?"
[shudders]
26
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:24,124
I think he was my dad.
27
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,376
Thanks for lettin' me come.
28
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:28,879
I love the pageantry of funerals.
29
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,715
?
30
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,591
[? organ stops playing]
31
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,385
Last time I saw my dad,
32
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,720
we were enjoying a beer
in the alley behind his house.
33
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,055
Uncanny.
34
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,890
But when I get too down,
35
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,476
I remember my father didn't suffer.
36
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,437
He died eating at his favorite restaurant.
37
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,607
He loved Bobby's food.
38
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,442
He hadn't eaten yet.
39
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:53,237
I just mean it wasn't
the food that, you know...
40
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,781
- He didn't have any regrets.
- [quiet murmuring]
41
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:56,866
But I do.
42
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,952
I wish I'd shown him
how much I appreciated him.
43
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,871
I wish I'd been sitting next to him
as he took his final breath
44
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,040
during Robata Chane's lunch special.
45
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:08,127
- [? dramatic organ music playing]
- I swear, we didn't kill him!
46
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,796
[birds chirping]
47
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,007
Good. You are both sitting down.
48
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,592
The Lion's Club canceled
their spaghetti dinner
49
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:18,179
due to "lack of interest."
50
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:22,933
So, I'm going to assume
you are still processing this travesty.
51
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:26,145
If I wanted to eat bland food
with bland people,
52
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,855
- I'd go to your house.
- [phone dings]
53
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,189
Ooh, that must be my dish soap!
54
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,316
You ordered dish soap online?
55
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,652
Why not go to the drug store
on the corner?
56
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,446
It shut down last year.
57
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,656
Too many teen moms stealing diapers.
58
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:38,783
It's not my package.
59
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,951
Just some man with a clipboard.
60
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,245
Don't answer! Looks like he wants to talk.
61
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,872
Ugh, those are the worst.
62
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,290
You are right.
63
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,208
I should post this and warn everyone.
64
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:51,920
That's 15 strange people
spotted just this week.
65
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:54,631
Half of 'em were Dale,
but, you know, still...
66
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:57,426
Where are you even hearing about all this?
67
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,261
Neighbors App, obviously.
68
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,430
You don't have a Ring camera, Peggy Hill?
69
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,016
No. We have a doorbell.
70
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,184
That rings.
71
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,625
[? upbeat guitar strumming]
72
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,481
Turns out, I was buying
"dense shade" grass seed
73
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:13,984
when I should have been
buying "sun and shade" seed.
74
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:17,529
Oh. Huh. Still starin' at the phone.
75
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,906
You feelin' alright?
76
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,991
It is not me that is sick, Hank.
77
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,701
It is Arlen, Texas.
78
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,496
This doorbell app has
turned all of our neighbors
79
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:28,082
into fear-mongers and gossips!
80
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,209
Why would a doorbell need an app?
81
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,212
No one in Arlen even
wants to open their door
82
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,131
to see another human being face-to-face!
83
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:39,969
We did not evolve from caves
to hide behind screens, Hank!
84
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,683
You know, you've got real
opinions on this, Peggy.
85
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,810
How about while I re-seed the lawn,
86
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:50,813
you write this as one
of your classic "musings"?
87
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,732
And send it to whom?
The Pennysaver shut down.
88
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,401
You could post it online?
89
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,861
That would be the height of hypocrisy.
90
00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:01,573
We need a place to gather face-to-face.
A community, Hank.
91
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,283
I don't see the problem.
92
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:06,912
My friends gather face-to-face
in the alley all the time.
93
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,498
?
94
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,667
[slurping] Ah...
95
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,793
[Nancy Gribble]
Hm...
96
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,920
Nope. This is all we're doing?
97
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,672
Standing in the sun like a tree?
98
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,799
There's a bug in my wine.
99
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,843
- I said no phones!
- [gasps]
100
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,721
?
101
00:04:23,242 --> 00:04:26,056
[? gentle guitar strumming]
102
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:28,392
[Willow]
Any burning, stinging, or itching?
103
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,020
Are you using me as a test rabbit?
104
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:34,398
Well, I can't use real rabbits.
That would be cruel.
105
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,983
Oh, right, right.
106
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:41,155
Dang! Cowboy tickets for my dad
are $300. Each!
107
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:44,116
Can I sell my bone marrow? Do I need that?
108
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,118
Just talk to your dad.
109
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:50,414
But I won't have to say anything
if I can show him I love him.
110
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,792
Hm... I know the guy that runs
the Cowboys Fantasy Camp.
111
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,419
Do you think your dad would be into that?
112
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,630
Are you kidding?
I found the first chapter of a novel
113
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,507
- he wrote about Tony Romo.
- [microwave beeping]
114
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:04,553
He solved mysteries
and had a dog that knew karate.
115
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,221
[Peggy Hill] You know,
116
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:09,058
one could make a case
that I was saving you
117
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,061
from your screen addiction.
118
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:14,230
I will still pay for it.
119
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,241
[tires screech]
120
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,571
?
121
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,365
Nancy, would you read a book
122
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,158
that is not on a device?
123
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,285
Peggy, if you break my iPad, too,
124
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,788
I will smother you in your sleep.
125
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:31,872
?
126
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:32,998
[birds chirping]
127
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,042
You were right, Hank.
Creating a book nook
128
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,503
to bring people together was a great idea.
129
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,254
It was your idea.
130
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:40,339
Well, then we agree.
131
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,341
Remember this moment, Hank.
132
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,802
It is when community and enlightenment
133
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,388
landed on Rainey Street.
134
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,972
[Hank Hill]
Britney Spears, huh?
135
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,225
Well, we better get cleaned up.
136
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:54,062
Bobby wants to bring that
new girl over for dinner.
137
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,899
The vay-gan? Wh-What the hell
am I supposed to feed her?
138
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,944
Can't we just put some grass in a bowl?
139
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:04,863
Ugh! I had to drive all the way
to the Mega Lo Fresh,
140
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,574
but I think she will appreciate my effort.
141
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:10,327
You know, her ways may
seem strange to us, Hank,
142
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,830
but it's important we respect her culture.
143
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,999
"Weird" isn't a culture.
144
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,668
- I don't have to respect "weird."
- [car approaching]
145
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,420
They're here! Quick, Hank.
146
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,797
[whispers]
Take off your belt. It's real leather.
147
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,008
How am I gonna keep my pants up?
148
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,592
I will give you a rope.
149
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:28,887
If you give me a rope
and make me eat vegan food,
150
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,849
you know what I'm gonna use that rope for.
151
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:35,102
[Peggy] So, this one is meat,
and this one is vay-gan.
152
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:38,313
But, it is supposed to
taste just like meat.
153
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:40,816
Are you sure you didn't get 'em mixed up?
154
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,986
I want the one that was
assigned meat at birth.
155
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:47,656
Oh, my God. Peggy! This is so good!
156
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,491
You really should try it, Hank.
157
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,327
You're welcome to call us
Mr. and Mrs. Hill.
158
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,122
Got it. Here you go, Mr. Hill.
159
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,665
[awkwardly chewing]
160
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,377
- [? dark, dramatic music playing]
- The best, right?
161
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,378
[scoffs]
162
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,715
I guess the right chef
can make anything taste good.
163
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,801
So, Bobby says you make skin balm?
164
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,054
I use recycled organic matter,
165
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,598
so technically Mother Nature makes it.
166
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:16,477
I bring the marketing.
It'll help your puffy eye bags.
167
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,561
My what?
168
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,397
I use Willow's balm all the time, Dad.
169
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,900
Feel my face. Like a baby.
170
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:26,487
That is not something
to be proud of, Bobby.
171
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,238
You are not a baby.
172
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:31,867
I know. Could a baby get you... this?
173
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,119
- [? magical music playing]
- Next weekend, you and me,
174
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,080
we're gonna toss the old pigskin
175
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,499
at Cowboys Fantasy Camp!
176
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,250
Bobby, this...
177
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,585
What's wrong, Dad?
178
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:44,380
This isn't some ashtray
you made in art class
179
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,090
that I have to pretend to like.
180
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,967
This is... the Cowboys.
181
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,929
Are you ready to make some memories, Dad?
182
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:54,056
You, me,
183
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,933
Tom Landry's ghost.
184
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,643
I'm gonna stop myself
185
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,729
before I get more emotional
in front of a stranger,
186
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,107
but I can't wait, Bobby.
187
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,442
We are gonna have so much fun.
188
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:09,196
- We?
- Surprise! I'm comin', too!
189
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,864
Unless you don't want me to.
190
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,368
[flatly] Oh. No.
Of course, I want you there.
191
00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:15,452
Oh, good.
192
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,913
'Cause I don't wanna leave you
for even a minute.
193
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:19,541
[both moaning, kissing]
194
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,543
Ugh...
195
00:08:22,245 --> 00:08:24,294
?
196
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:27,297
Well, I'm not sayin' I'll be able
to keep up with the pros,
197
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,216
but I think they'll appreciate
198
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,720
that I can still spin the spud.
199
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,638
[beer sloshing]
200
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,433
You remember the "YoYo Sweep"
from high school?
201
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,352
I'm gonna get a minute alone
with Jerry Jones
202
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,938
to tell him about it.
203
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:47,985
I think it'll do wonders for
the Cowboys' offensive playbook.
204
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,653
- [birds chirping]
- [distant lawn mower humming]
205
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,447
Dang it. What's goin' on?
206
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,948
Dang ol' next birthday, man.
207
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,075
You know, talkin' 'bout
shoulda been us, man.
208
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,410
Dang ol' ruined it, man.
209
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,328
Trust me, I wish you were coming
210
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,456
instead of Bobby's weird girlfriend,
211
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,292
but at least I get to spend
some time with my son.
212
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,627
I will forgive you, if...
213
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:09,298
you bring me a lock of Trevon Diggs' hair.
214
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,133
I'm not gonna do that, Dale.
215
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,551
Noted.
216
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,095
I don't mind that you're
goin' to Dallas, Hank.
217
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,348
Well, I'm glad one of you has some sense.
218
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:21,101
Someone needs to stay here
to support Peggy's new library.
219
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,604
Must be hard to run somethin' like that.
220
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:26,398
It's a converted birdhouse on a post.
221
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,317
I think Peggy's got it, Bill.
222
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,235
[? upbeat country music playing]
223
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,863
[dog panting]
224
00:09:33,150 --> 00:09:35,240
Yes, yes, yes!
225
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,327
[? upbeat country music continues]
226
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:41,414
?
227
00:10:03,181 --> 00:10:07,022
- [? music ends]
- [indistinct chatter]
228
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,108
You are still on my doo-doo list,
229
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,527
but this is really somethin', Sug.
230
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,861
Kind of a miracle.
231
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:16,448
The last thing most of these rednecks read
was their court summons.
232
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,200
And now, they're reading whole books!
233
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,869
Let's not throw words around
like "miracle"
234
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,788
or "hometown hero,"
235
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,124
but thank you, Minh. I appreciate it.
236
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,625
[? epic music playing]
237
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,253
Welcome to Cowboys Fantasy Camp.
238
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:32,506
Over the next two days,
you'll get to compete on the same field,
239
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,590
have the same trainers,
240
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:37,052
and maybe even get to use
the same MRI machine
241
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,595
as the real Cowboys.
242
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,681
We gonna get to meet Jerry Jones?
243
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,766
I have a play I think he could use.
244
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,310
Jerry, uh, keeps his distance
from the fans these days.
245
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,104
That's his office up there.
246
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,565
If you see a shadow, he's there.
247
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,858
Oh. Appreciate it.
248
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,152
This whole thing is somethin', isn't it?
249
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,945
Sure is. I just hope
250
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,448
- these old knees can take it.
- I hear ya.
251
00:10:57,449 --> 00:11:01,035
When was the last time you played?
It was high school for me.
252
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,328
Oh, I played last Saturday.
253
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,873
It's the only way I can
keep up with my son.
254
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:08,834
- He plays at Ole Miss right now.
- Division one, huh?
255
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,754
Well, that's great.
I'm here with my son, too.
256
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:14,089
He's a chef. And his, uh...
257
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,549
Willow.
258
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:16,800
- [soft clapping]
- That.
259
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,345
Don't worry.
They'll try to make all the teams even.
260
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,264
They'll probably pair y'all up
with a really good team.
261
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:25,309
[? hopeful music playing]
262
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,144
I'm not into football,
263
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,731
but I won tickets in a radio contest.
264
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,985
My soon-to-be ex-husband
told me this was cowboy camp,
265
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,154
like with horses and spurs.
266
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,366
I did not. He just doesn't listen.
267
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:44,328
My wife Martha and I have been
season ticket holders
268
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,372
since 1972!
269
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,332
Is she here, too?
270
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,708
[Abraham] Sure is.
271
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,793
?
272
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,753
I know our team isn't what you expected,
273
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,713
but we still got a shot.
274
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,964
You know what, Bobby?
275
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,384
- [kisses]
- We're not gonna win, but that's okay.
276
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,052
It is?
277
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,222
Yeah. I'm in a Cowboys stadium,
puttin' my underwear
278
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,307
in a locker that has my name on it.
279
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,143
How could anything ruin this?
280
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,063
[water running]
281
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,448
Bwah!
282
00:12:12,449 --> 00:12:14,149
[slams door, lock clicks]
283
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,819
[giggles] I saw you, Mr. Hill.
284
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,613
The human body is
nothin' to be ashamed of.
285
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,907
[? dramatic music playing]
286
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,075
[birds chirping]
287
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,159
- Okay.
- Thank you.
288
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,411
See that, Bill?
289
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,995
Beautiful thing you're doin'.
290
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,458
It's so nice to sit outside and read...
291
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,042
and read.
292
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,420
Are you enjoying 1984, Bill?
293
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,713
Oh! [nervous laugh]
294
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,339
Yes. Hell of a year!
295
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,675
Tell me one thing that happens.
296
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,011
Uh...
297
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,178
What's that on your arm?
298
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,264
Bill, stop changing the-
299
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,183
Oh. Hm! I'm sure it's nothing.
300
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,518
[? dark, suspicious music playing]
301
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,438
Well? Have you seen
anything like this before?
302
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,814
Have I ever.
303
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,400
Genus, bed. Phylum, bug.
304
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,943
Wily creatures.
305
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,988
The white whales of
the extermination community.
306
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:04,575
Except worse, because whales
are much easier to kill.
307
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,952
How can this be happening to me?
308
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:10,998
Not just you. I've sprayed five homes
for bed bugs this week.
309
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,876
The Johnsons, the Chous, the Garlands.
310
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,838
Why do I recognize those names?
311
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:21,425
Everyone who has bed bugs
borrowed from my book nook.
312
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,261
That can only mean one thing.
313
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:26,764
People with bed bugs love to read!
314
00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:29,099
Or your books infected them.
315
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,810
[? dramatic music playing]
316
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,729
How can you tell if they're infected?
317
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:37,316
The little vampires
like to hide in the spines.
318
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,819
Now, what you are about to
see is incredibly disturbing.
319
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,945
?
320
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,030
[both scream]
321
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,239
- [Peggy] No, no, no!
- Huh?
322
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,450
All I wanted to do was bring back
323
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:49,036
old-fashioned neighborhood values.
324
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,245
Is that so wrong?
325
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,748
- It's a damn shame.
- What is?
326
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,501
They'll blame the books.
They'll hate reading
327
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,586
and the woman who made them hate reading,
328
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,129
Peggy Hill.
329
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,383
[? dark, dramatic music playing]
330
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,009
?
331
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,302
[scratching]
332
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:08,180
This has to go away quietly, Dale.
333
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,099
No one can know it was me.
334
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,975
Oh, I know how to fix your problem.
335
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:16,188
I spray the rest of the houses
that brought home your buggy books.
336
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,191
I make money, you get off scot-free.
337
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,112
- Everybody wins.
- Except the bugs.
338
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,656
The bugs die!
339
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,741
[whistle blares]
340
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:29,201
I'm Micah Parsons,
but for the next two days,
341
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,452
you can call me Coach.
342
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,787
Where's Willow?
343
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:35,375
Oh, she found a bird in the locker room
and had to herd it outside.
344
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,585
[sighs] Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss?
345
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,130
Uh, you can do cartwheels over there.
346
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,214
You're up, Hills.
347
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,301
[? upbeat rock music playing]
348
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:57,521
- [? music swells, stops]
- [group cheering]
349
00:14:57,522 --> 00:15:00,566
Not bad, Bobby.
If you played like that in high school,
350
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,568
we would've had somethin' to work with.
351
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,611
I don't know. I just got lucky.
352
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,113
Well done, Hill Boys.
353
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,365
- Did you hear that?
- Sure did.
354
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,869
Hill Boys! That's us!
355
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,829
- [groaning]
- [whistle blares]
356
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,039
- [Abraham grunts]
- [player] Run!
357
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,123
[grunts]
358
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,875
- [player 2] Go, go, go, go, go!
- [player 3] Yeah!
359
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:20,878
[? "The Natural" theme playing]
360
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:23,464
[shocked chatter]
361
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,716
How did a vegan learn to do that?
362
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,634
- [? music fades out]
- Maybe she got lucky, too.
363
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:28,761
Mm!
364
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,598
- [? upbeat music playing]
- Ooh! Oh yeah!
365
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:35,934
Shh!
366
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,019
[grunts]
367
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,854
?
368
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,022
[group cheering]
369
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,025
[? music fades out]
370
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,987
My dad used to work here,
so I kinda grew up around football.
371
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,739
You never told me that.
372
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:52,076
I hate being negative,
and if I talk about my dad,
373
00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:54,661
I end up bitchin' about that
piece-of-shit Jerry Jones,
374
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:55,996
who fired him.
375
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,332
Well, the man has no soul.
376
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,377
He fired the late, great Tom Landry, too.
377
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,712
At least he can't take away my memories.
378
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:07,132
My favorite moments as a kid
were playin' ball with my dad.
379
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,343
- Well, I know a little bit about that.
- [Bobby slurping]
380
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:10,427
Hey, Bobby?
381
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,845
Yeah, Dad?
382
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,639
Could we, uh, swap seats,
383
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,891
so I can talk strategy with Willow?
384
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,435
You know this is just
supposed to be fun, right?
385
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,437
Yeah, of course, but with Willow here,
386
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,855
I think we have a shot at winning.
387
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:24,233
You're not so bad either, Mr. Hill.
388
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,694
You know what? We're teammates now,
389
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:28,570
so... call me Hank.
390
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:30,948
[? hard rock music playing]
391
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,032
[whistle blares]
392
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,993
[players shouting]
393
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,287
Oh! Oh, my knee!
394
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:38,831
- [cheering]
- [whistle blares]
395
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,291
?
396
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,550
[grunts]
397
00:16:41,551 --> 00:16:43,002
[whistle blares]
398
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,796
?
399
00:16:45,933 --> 00:16:48,549
- [player] Hike!
- [grunts]
400
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,217
[player 2] Go!
Get in there! Get in there!
401
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:51,301
[grunts]
402
00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,803
[players shouting]
403
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:53,971
- [cheering]
- [whistle blares]
404
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,806
Yes! [chuckles]
405
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,558
- Woo-hoo! Yeah!
- [smacks]
406
00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,643
I'm gonna sit the rest of this one out.
407
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:00,728
[Willow] Alright!
408
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:04,023
Don't worry, it looks like this guy
and his daughter have us covered.
409
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,107
She's not his-
410
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,276
- [Willow] Yes!
- Never mind.
411
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:08,819
[? dark, suspenseful music playing]
412
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,404
[jogger]
I don't get where they came from.
413
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,490
They thrive in cold climates.
414
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:14,742
Hm...
415
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:18,163
The Turners just got back from New York.
416
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:21,248
- I hear they thrive in hot climates.
- Hm.
417
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:24,251
Minh was just bragging
about her trip to Fort Worth.
418
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,838
Seems a thrift store was
the outbreak's ground zero.
419
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,924
The Garlands love
buying people's old stuff.
420
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:32,302
Cheap bastards.
421
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:35,012
How's our situation?
422
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,973
I flooded the zone with misinformation.
423
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,767
No one suspects you.
424
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:42,853
- You're welcome!
- Are you sure? No loose ends?
425
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:45,230
I will not be a pariah like you, Dale.
426
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,024
Check out the Neighbors App, Sugs.
427
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:49,234
I've never seen people bein' so mean.
428
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,320
?
429
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:58,203
[inhales, exhales]
430
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,120
"This is Peggy Hill.
431
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,539
"We cannot hide behind anonymity.
432
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:06,002
We have to face each other
like true neighbors."
433
00:18:06,246 --> 00:18:08,295
[phone beeps]
434
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:09,380
[scratching]
435
00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:12,383
- [phone beeps]
- "Peggy's right. Neighbor 52,
436
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:14,885
"meet me at the Book Nook at 9:00 p.m.
437
00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:17,388
I am going to kick your ass."
438
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,722
?
439
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:19,808
[phone buzzing]
440
00:18:27,726 --> 00:18:29,775
[door opens]
441
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,610
- [laughter]
- [Willow] Guess who made the playoffs?
442
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,112
Bobby, where'd you go?
443
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,364
I think I pulled something.
444
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:37,116
[Hank] Get some dang Icy Hot on it!
445
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:39,034
You don't wanna miss tomorrow.
446
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,412
I'm gonna hit the little boys' showers.
447
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:44,165
Willow, you have the heart of a warrior.
448
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,001
[Bobby sighs]
449
00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:48,627
I was just tryin' to win.
450
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,338
I know. And I'm glad you're getting along,
451
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:54,383
but it's kinda like I'm 11 again,
452
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,885
overhearing my dad telling my mom
453
00:18:56,886 --> 00:19:00,681
that I better get better at math
if I'm gonna be so bad at sports.
454
00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,517
Which hurt double
'cause I suck at math, too.
455
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:06,478
I had a lot of issues with my dad, too,
456
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,605
but I can't do anything about that
457
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,941
now that he's back in Mother Earth's womb.
458
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,568
Want my advice?
459
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,529
Talk to Hank while he can still talk back.
460
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:18,658
[? gentle music playing]
461
00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:22,828
[Bobby]
You couldn't resist one more chance
462
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,621
to feel like you went pro, huh?
463
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,749
I did go pro, Bobby.
464
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,042
Pro-pane.
465
00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:29,918
But that's not why I'm in here.
466
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,962
I'm in here because everything hurts.
467
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:34,298
My dang ears are sore!
468
00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,551
I didn't even know that was possible.
469
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:39,720
[sighs]
I think I might be too old for this.
470
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:42,765
Nah, Dad. I'm sore every night after work,
471
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:44,308
and that's just a restaurant.
472
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,478
Don't sell yourself short. You work hard.
473
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,813
Maybe even harder than an athlete.
474
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:53,151
Get on in here.
Feels good to feel nothing.
475
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,321
- [yelps]
- Well?
476
00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,075
[straining] I wanna scream,
but I can't.
477
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,243
Look, Bobby, he's there.
478
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:06,747
This is my chance to tell him
about the "YoYo Sweep."
479
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,375
?
480
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:12,337
You ruined everything.
481
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,173
[? espionage music playing]
482
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,518
[soft rapping]
483
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,078
- [Willow grunting]
- [Hank gasps]
484
00:20:29,688 --> 00:20:32,356
[? dramatic music plays]
485
00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:33,440
[splat]
486
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,026
[Hank] Bwah!
487
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:40,280
Uh, maybe she couldn't make it
to the bathroom in time?
488
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:42,741
Well, that's why people need to eat meat.
489
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,868
It slows the whole process down.
490
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,203
I can explain!
491
00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:47,705
I'd like to hear you try.
492
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:49,790
After he got fired from the Cowboys,
493
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:52,751
my dad started ordering
Long Island Iced Teas,
494
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:53,919
without the ice.
495
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,879
The drinking just got worse from there.
496
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,589
I'm so sorry.
497
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,466
I blamed him my whole life.
498
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:02,011
But, this weekend, bein' here,
499
00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:04,430
I realized it wasn't his fault.
500
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,515
I blame Jerry Jones!
501
00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:09,810
And now, I feel like this
huge weight has lifted.
502
00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:12,271
More like dropped.
503
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:15,858
But I'm so sorry if I messed up
Fantasy Camp, Hank.
504
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:20,112
Well, I'm afraid it's back to Mr. Hill
after what we witnessed.
505
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,781
I don't think we should
come back tomorrow.
506
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:25,451
I don't think we can ever come back here.
507
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:28,788
- [? foreboding music plays]
- [phone dialing]
508
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,041
[line ringing]
509
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,375
Yeah, it happened again.
510
00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:35,462
[engine humming]
511
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:40,799
So, uh,
512
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,179
a girl like Willow will definitely
keep you on your toes.
513
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,096
Yeah.
514
00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:49,099
Her balm makes my skin burn,
515
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:52,770
she says "antidote"
when she means "anecdote,"
516
00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:55,147
and she follows me everywhere!
517
00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:59,318
Also, I'm pretty sure
I'm still in love with Connie.
518
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:01,029
[? gentle music playing]
519
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:03,447
I have to break up with Willow.
520
00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:07,368
Well, then I'd suggest, uh,
in light of recent events,
521
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:10,288
- that you do it very carefully.
- I will.
522
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:12,873
I appreciate you, Dad.
523
00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:15,404
Well, let's not get carried away.
[nervous laugh]
524
00:22:15,405 --> 00:22:19,588
- [overlapping chatter]
- [neighbor] Your dog peed in my garden.
525
00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:21,507
Your husband slept with my wife!
526
00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:23,676
[neighbor]
How is that my fault? I'm just as mad!
527
00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:25,928
Only one of us is well-rested.
528
00:22:25,929 --> 00:22:28,555
The person who gained from our misery.
529
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:29,973
- [? dramatic sting]
- Me?!
530
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:32,393
He does have a lab in his basement.
531
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,478
See? He released them on purpose!
532
00:22:34,479 --> 00:22:36,397
It was Peggy and her books!
533
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:37,606
[Dale yelling]
534
00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:39,651
[? dramatic crescendo]
535
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:44,905
Yes! The books gave you bed bugs.
I apologize. But,
536
00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:48,742
they also brought us out of
our houses, face-to-face.
537
00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:51,161
A-And Bill! Bill read half a book.
538
00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:52,413
Half a page.
539
00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:53,831
And Luke Junior
540
00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:56,083
learned the art of seduction.
541
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:58,585
You read What Color Is Your Parachute
542
00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:00,045
and found your calling.
543
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:01,839
And I'll need it after the divorce.
544
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,509
The Nook was not just about books!
545
00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:08,012
It was about community.
546
00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:09,096
[bugs chittering]
547
00:23:09,097 --> 00:23:11,598
Oh, dear God! Oh my! Oh help, help!
548
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:15,144
- What are we gonna do about the bed bugs?
- What we have to do, Nancy.
549
00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:18,647
There is only one surefire way
to kill bed bugs.
550
00:23:18,648 --> 00:23:20,399
[neighbors murmuring]
551
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,987
[? gentle guitar music playing]
552
00:23:33,163 --> 00:23:34,213
[flame whooshes]
553
00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:37,250
[fire crackling]
554
00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:43,422
Look at it this way.
555
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:46,967
You definitely brought
the neighborhood together.
556
00:23:46,968 --> 00:23:48,720
Stop trying to make me feel better.
557
00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:54,324
[? guitar music and fire crackling plays
over computer speaker]
558
00:23:57,354 --> 00:24:00,065
[alerts beeping]
559
00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:05,737
?
560
00:24:08,990 --> 00:24:12,202
[? "Yahoos and Triangles"
by The Refreshments playing]
561
00:24:27,676 --> 00:24:30,011
- ? Yee-haw! ?
- ? Wa-hoo! ?
562
00:24:47,564 --> 00:24:49,613
[? song ends]
563
00:24:49,614 --> 00:24:50,698
[birds chirping]
564
00:24:50,699 --> 00:24:52,616
- [golf club thumps]
- [crowd cheering]
565
00:24:52,617 --> 00:24:54,660
?
566
00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:57,663
[Hank] I did go pro, Bobby. Pro-pane.
567
00:24:57,664 --> 00:25:00,667
[? fanfare playing]
568
00:25:00,717 --> 00:25:05,267
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