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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,919
[? guitar strumming]
2
00:00:08,627 --> 00:00:10,676
[beer hisses]
3
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,971
[? theme song playing]
4
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,070
?
5
00:00:34,987 --> 00:00:37,036
[? theme concludes]
6
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,914
[birds chirping]
7
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,085
[wind whooshing]
8
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,170
Huh.
9
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,422
?
10
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,264
[door thuds]
11
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,718
Hm...
12
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,345
[faucet squeaks, water draining]
13
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:57,139
- [stopwatch beeps]
- Well, that won't do at all.
14
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,975
- [TV chatter]
- Good news, Peggy.
15
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:02,186
- [mutes TV]
- I shaved point-four seconds
16
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,896
off the sink's drain time.
17
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,189
Quick, go brush your teeth!
18
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,066
Why don't you sit down and relax?
19
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,151
It's 10:30 on a Tuesday.
20
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,278
We don't live in an opium den.
21
00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,906
Honey, the whole point of retirement
22
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,368
is you do not have to fill in
every free moment with work.
23
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:20,120
Come on, watch some TV with me.
24
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,581
- What are you watching?
- It is a British reality show
25
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,917
called The Make Up Bake Up.
26
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:28,045
A couple tries to work through
their relationship issues
27
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,173
- while making a pastry, cake, or tart.
- [unmutes TV]
28
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,842
- [? soft music playing on TV]
- Oh, and they are naked.
29
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,845
[Gen-Z Guy] [on TV] I feel like we've
gotten proper close after three days.
30
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,264
But, to be honest, when we were snoggin',
31
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,517
I was thinkin' about
doin' it with your sister.
32
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,185
[Gen-Z Girl] [on TV]
I wasn't paying attention
33
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,145
because me UTI was makin' me vulva sore.
34
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:46,230
[shudders]
35
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:49,484
Why would they share that? And on TV?
36
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:52,486
- Yes, Hank, it's just awful.
- [turns volume up]
37
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[Gen-Z Girl] Work that puff pastry!
38
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,781
- [doorbell chiming]
- Harder. Harder!
39
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,284
- I'll get it!
- Whisk it harder, you fit boy!
40
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,413
Perfect timing, Boomhauer.
I got your message.
41
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:05,916
I have five different nail guns,
so if you wanna borrow one,
42
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,668
you'll have to be more specific.
43
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:08,919
What are you working on?
44
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,256
Man, it's this dang ol' app, man.
Talkin' about gon' disrupt the industry,
45
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,342
and they gon' disrupt my Tuesday, man.
46
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,804
[Hank Hill]
ChoreChimp? So, you're like a handyman,
47
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,155
- but only when you wanna be?
- [Boomhauer] Yep.
48
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,434
It's Heaven on Earth.
49
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,978
- You need a hand?
- Nah, man, I'ma- I'm good.
50
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,023
Sure thing, Boomhauer!
I'll help you out if you really need it!
51
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:32,943
?
52
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,320
- [typing]
- Everything okay?
53
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:38,032
- I'm trying to craft the perfect text.
- [sizzling]
54
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,826
Business text or sexy text?
55
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,287
I ran into an old friend the other day.
56
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:47,124
We kinda used to... [laughs]
go together when we were kids.
57
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,752
Are emojis played out?
58
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,628
Are periods angry?
59
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,547
Help me here, Emilio.
60
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,091
How are you so bad at this?
61
00:02:56,092 --> 00:03:00,054
All my texts are with married
60-year-old meat suppliers!
62
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:03,016
I'm not used to texting single ladies!
63
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,768
Bobby, this text is so long!
64
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,854
There are paragraphs
with spaces between them.
65
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,398
To allow the eye to rest.
66
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,816
Keep it simple.
67
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:16,236
On The Summer I Turned Pretty,
they use three words max.
68
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:18,073
Try, "Mama, what's good?"
69
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,748
[door bell chiming]
70
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,826
[? hopeful music plays]
71
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:23,661
Never mind! That's Connie!
72
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,408
[Emilio] I believe in you, Bobby.
73
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,291
- Well, well, well.
- Hey, Bobby.
74
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,294
Wow, so this is the restaurant, huh?
75
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,463
- It's really cool.
- Yes, ma'am.
76
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,340
It's my little slice of Heaven.
77
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,885
Did you come by to have
the best dining experience of your life,
78
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,763
or are you just here for the view?
79
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,557
Actually, Chane invited me.
80
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,477
- Chane?
- Yeah, Chane, you know?
81
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,646
What's up, babe?
This guy bothering you?
82
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,314
You say the word, and he's fired.
83
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,482
[Chane laughing]
84
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:56,819
Just kidding.
I actually couldn't fire him.
85
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,070
But, my dad could.
86
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,656
So wait, you guys are-
87
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,782
Dating.
88
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,201
?
89
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,829
?
90
00:04:06,196 --> 00:04:08,664
[homeowner chattering]
91
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,748
[stamping]
92
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:10,833
That oughta do it.
93
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,418
Plus, I just got laid off,
94
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,129
so now I'm not sure
if I can even afford this house.
95
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,505
Oh, man, that's rough, man.
96
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,215
But, you know that
dang ol' hustle culture, man,
97
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,592
if you don't rise and grind,
that arrow of time, man.
98
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,553
Time, th-that's the dang ol'
most precious resource,
99
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,637
you know what I'm sayin'?
100
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,681
That's really great advice.
101
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,474
Thank you, really.
102
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:31,437
Hey, Boomhauer, you wanna come over
and step on this at the same time as me?
103
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,939
See if it can handle a double load?
104
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,024
[stamping]
105
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,359
Wow! Looks great!
106
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,446
I'm gonna give you five bananas for sure.
107
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,780
Uh, well, thank you,
108
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,324
but, uh, I hate bananas.
109
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:45,701
It's monkey food.
110
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,495
Five bananas is the highest rating
on ChoreChimp.
111
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,873
That's the reason I hired Boomhauer.
112
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,374
He has a perfect five-banana rating.
113
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,251
And now I see why.
114
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:57,046
He does the job,
and he's great to talk to.
115
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,256
[mutters] Eh, I did the job.
116
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,924
[normal] Boy, that was fun.
117
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,260
I felt like we should be payin' her.
118
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,346
But, I guess it's time for me to go home
119
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,931
and get back to my retirement.
120
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,058
[birds chirping]
121
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:12,269
- Mm-hmm.
- That's a good point, Boomhauer!
122
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,147
We make a great team.
Let's keep this goin'!
123
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,566
Oh, man.
124
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,818
So, is this a special occasion?
125
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,196
Perhaps an anniversary?
126
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,239
One month? Two?
127
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,950
- It's just lunch.
- Very cool, very cool.
128
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:29,328
And after you're done eating,
129
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:33,082
should I put each of your leftovers
in separate boxes or-
130
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,084
Can we actually just start
with two matchas?
131
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,794
No problemo.
132
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,420
Nature's Red Bull!
133
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,465
Are you both perhaps tired
from a late night
134
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,093
that you potentially shared together?
135
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,804
[? soft music playing in restaurant]
136
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,140
[mud sloshing]
137
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:50,774
[bucket clanging]
138
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:54,353
Boy, just look at those gutters gleam.
139
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,730
Hey, Boomhauer,
how are those hedges lookin'?
140
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,482
Hey, man, I tell you what man, love,
141
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,609
it's a- [gibberish]
like it a dang ol' battlefield, man.
142
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,529
- [Boomhauer continues]
- Oh, I see you're workin' hard.
143
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,863
...win no dang ol' war, man.
144
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,408
You're right!
I just need to get back out there!
145
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,909
- You're amazing.
- [ladder rattling]
146
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,661
What the- Look out, Boomhauer!
147
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,329
- [? dramatic music playing]
- Boomhauer!
148
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,248
- Are you okay?
- [Boomhauer] Ah, dang ol'...
149
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,418
Got dang ol'... [sighs] Ow.
150
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,460
Stay down, Boomhauer.
151
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,838
I know a concussion when I see one.
152
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,423
From football, obviously,
153
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:25,759
but also from Bobby's contact improv days.
154
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:26,844
?
155
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,263
Sorry, Boomhauer,
we're outta frozen peas.
156
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,974
But, this bag of frozen diced potatoes
should do just fine.
157
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,685
Can I have the potatoes when
Boomhauer's done with them?
158
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,729
- No.
- I had to ask.
159
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,188
Fortune favors the bold.
160
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,357
[weakly] Oh, man. Dang ol'...
161
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,402
- sleepy, man.
- [Dale Gribble] Mm-hmm.
162
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,612
Is Boomhauer gonna be... slow forever?
163
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:47,614
Well, he got his bell rung pretty bad,
164
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,242
but the doctor thinks
he'll be fine in a few days.
165
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,954
Ancient peoples used to
give themselves concussions
166
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,081
because they believed
the altered headspace
167
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,167
brought them closer to God.
168
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,836
I don't think any of that's true, Dale.
169
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,797
Now, the doctor said
we just need to keep an eye on him
170
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,759
for 24 hours to make sure he's okay.
171
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,137
Absolutely. And, Boomhauer,
if you need anything,
172
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:13,766
anything at all,
Hank and I will be right across the alley.
173
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,018
- [phone buzzing, pinging]
- [chimp screeching]
174
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,103
[phone clicks]
175
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,105
Now, I know you're worried
about your perfect rating,
176
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,732
but I could fill in for you.
177
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,609
Just until you get back on your feet.
178
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,194
Oh. I don't know, man-
179
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,696
Yeah, I think it's a great idea, too.
180
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:32,284
- "Boomhauer is on his way."
- [typing]
181
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,745
?
182
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,163
How's it going?
183
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:39,166
Good.
I think the miso trout dip's a winner.
184
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,002
I mean how's it going...
185
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,171
- in here?
- It's fine. I'm fine.
186
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,340
- [Connie Souphanousinphone] Hi, Bobby.
- Connie!
187
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:49,051
So, this is kind of like your office, huh?
188
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,386
I guess you could say that.
189
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,555
Bobby's a wonderful boss!
And handsome, too.
190
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,140
I know our menu says the
"Catch of the Day"
191
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,475
is Chilean sea bass,
192
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,228
but, in my opinion,
the real catch is this guy.
193
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,939
Back to work, Emilio.
194
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,942
That's Emilio. How is your date going?
195
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,110
Okay!
196
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,445
[sighing] I don't know.
197
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:11,532
Chane keeps talking about his frat pranks.
198
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,575
Most of them just sound like crimes.
199
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,828
Maybe we don't really
have anything in common.
200
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:19,581
Well, Chane can be
self-centered and obnoxious,
201
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,834
and downright means sometimes.
202
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,462
But, I think he does all that
because, deep down, he's insecure.
203
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:28,966
His dad puts a lot of pressure
on him to be successful,
204
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:33,178
and, sometimes, he overcompensates
to feel better about himself.
205
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:36,181
But, at the end of the day,
Chane's a good guy.
206
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,766
[soft laugh]
207
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,811
I know what all that dad stuff is like.
208
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,896
Thanks, Bobby.
209
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,732
- [door creaks]
- [sighs]
210
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,859
You're a good man, Bobby Hill.
211
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,986
Dumb, but good.
212
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,321
?
213
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,782
[ladder rattling]
214
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,203
Oh, boy. I may refinish
those shutters for free.
215
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:02,292
- [puts down toolbox]
- [rings doorbell]
216
00:09:02,293 --> 00:09:04,209
Good afternoon, ma'am.
217
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,379
I'm from ChoreChimp,
here to hang your curtain rod.
218
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,214
[baby cooing]
219
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,592
- [phone clicks]
- You're Boomhauer?
220
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,427
No, I'm Hank Hill.
221
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:16,722
I'm filling in because
Boomhauer is incapacitated.
222
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,515
Are you as good as Boomhauer?
223
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,893
[laughs] Uh, uh, yes.
224
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,686
Yes, ma'am, I definitely am.
225
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,439
- Well, come on in then.
- [grabs toolbox]
226
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,274
- [door shuts]
- Eric, this is Hank.
227
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,609
He's gonna hang the curtains.
228
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,069
You're a lifesaver.
229
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,862
Between work and the baby,
230
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,531
there's just been no time
to get stuff done around the house.
231
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,867
- [Hank] Not a problem.
- I don't sleep anymore.
232
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,829
- I-I'm a shell of a person.
- [cooing continues]
233
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:43,666
Plus, Lena and I haven't had sex in,
I don't know how long.
234
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,250
[Lena] Sixty-two days.
235
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,543
I broke my vibrator.
236
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,462
[muttering] I am not fixing that.
237
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,339
- [baby crying]
- Oh, come on.
238
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,342
I mean, it's just this all day!
239
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,260
Do you have kids?
240
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,345
Yes.
241
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,347
When we had Charlie,
Eric and I started posting
242
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,432
parenting videos on our YouTube channel.
243
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,768
We thought it would be fun to document
244
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,186
the "miracle" of raising a child,
245
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,397
but things are so hard right now
246
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:08,482
that we might just give it up.
247
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,234
I know this is awful to say,
248
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:13,195
but sometimes part of me
regrets having kids.
249
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,530
Is that normal?
250
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,073
[baby Charlie cooing]
251
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:19,076
So, the interesting thing
about these curtain rods
252
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:22,121
is that they consist
of two concentric rods
253
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,164
that fit inside one another.
254
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,542
That's what makes the rod adjustable.
255
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:30,045
It's the same technology
they use in telescopes.
256
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,589
?
257
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,000
- [phone buzzing, beeps]
- [chimp screeching]
258
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:36,727
[phone clicks]
259
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,805
Two bananas?!
260
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,974
?
261
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,684
I just don't get it, Peggy.
262
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:46,311
Those curtain rods were taut and true.
263
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,023
I could have done
a chin-up on those things.
264
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:51,400
Then, I bet I could have done two.
265
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,153
I did the job exactly as asked,
266
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,405
even though their baby
was crying the whole time,
267
00:10:56,406 --> 00:11:00,451
and they kept asking me invasive
personal questions about our kid.
268
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:03,203
Like how old he is and whatnot.
269
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:06,582
Oh, Hank, they were just
looking for someone to talk to.
270
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:10,044
They just wanted a kind ear
and, and some advice.
271
00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:11,879
I'm not a therapist, Peggy.
272
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:16,050
If there is one thing I have learned
from The Make Up Bake Up,
273
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:19,303
it is that for young people,
anyone can be a therapist.
274
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,512
Every episode is,
275
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,556
"My sister is my therapist,"
276
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,725
"My dog is my therapist,"
277
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,602
"Frying is my therapy,
278
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:29,063
and the recipe is my therapist."
279
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:32,066
Well, my job wasn't to give 'em advice.
280
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:34,443
I was to hang a curtain rod.
281
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,529
I deserve all five bananas.
282
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,074
I mean, Boomhauer does.
283
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:44,036
Did it ever occur to you that the reason
Boomhauer's rating is so high
284
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,663
is that people enjoy talking with him?
285
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,375
Well, I'm sorry I'm not Mr. Personality,
286
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,834
like Boomhauer!
287
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,212
?
288
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,090
Anything good on tonight?
289
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,091
Oh! "The Adulterers" is on!
290
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,342
[? curious music playing]
291
00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,968
[Bobby Hill] [in soft voice]
"Dearest Roderick,
292
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:03,598
"thank you for cookin' me
this delicious chicken piccata.
293
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,851
Did you get the recipe from your wife?"
294
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,688
[Joseph Gribble]
"Uh, that's not a chicken piccata.
295
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,731
It's pizza, and it sucks."
296
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,942
[Bobby]
Joseph, come on, man.
297
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:18,278
You gotta "yes, and" in improv.
298
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,738
[Bobby and Joseph groan]
299
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,740
Hey! Were you mad at me earlier?
300
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,534
No! Why?
301
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,619
Because this afternoon, you texted me,
302
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,706
"Joseph, we need to talk." Period.
303
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:31,500
So, periods are angry!
304
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,502
No, man, I just wanted to tell you
305
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,379
that Connie came into
the restaurant today.
306
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,256
No way! To see you?
307
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,383
She was on a date, uh,
308
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,552
- with Chane.
- Oh, Bobby.
309
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,346
Did you freak out? Did you scream at him?
310
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,432
Did you slap Connie's name
out of his mouth?
311
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:50,060
I was actually really mature
about the whole thing.
312
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,311
'Cause truth is
313
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,856
I really just want
314
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,899
Connie and I to be friends.
315
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,067
Uh-huh...
316
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,152
[phone chimes]
317
00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,821
- It's her!
- Connie? W-what's it say?
318
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:04,283
"It was really great to
see you today." Period.
319
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,536
"Karaoke tomorrow night?"
Question mark?
320
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:10,914
Oh-ho! Sounds like
she's got Bobby on the brain.
321
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,175
Maybe you still got a shot.
322
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,002
Nah, I bet Chane's going, too.
323
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,962
Dude, still, say yes!
324
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,506
Okay, okay.
325
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:20,883
"Hello, Connie."
326
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,635
Period. Nope.
327
00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:25,512
"It would be my honor to-"
328
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:28,223
[sighs] I'll do it.
Bobby, you text like AI.
329
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,601
The rules are confusing!
330
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,020
?
331
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,612
[doorbell chiming]
332
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:35,606
Hello.
333
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,191
Sorry to bother you, but yesterday,
334
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:40,694
you gave me a two-banana rating
on the ChoreChimp app.
335
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,404
Was there something about my service
336
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,740
that you found unsatisfactory?
337
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,992
Two outta five is... is good.
338
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,662
You know, back when I sold
propane and propane accessories,
339
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,831
we used to have a little saying.
340
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,917
"When it comes to customers,
341
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:58,129
the most important mile is the extra one."
342
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:02,508
What I'm sayin' is I'd be happy to do
some more chores for you,
343
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,010
free of charge,
to earn that perfect rating.
344
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,722
I mean, I guess if you wanna do free work.
345
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,141
- [metal scraping]
- The baby won't eat.
346
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,394
Every time I try to breastfeed him,
he pulls away.
347
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:14,645
[Eric] Well, keep trying!
348
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,647
What do you think I'm doin'?!
349
00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:18,315
You know, when our son was first born,
350
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:21,277
every night was a new challenge
for Peggy and I.
351
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,279
[? soft music playing]
352
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,032
He was real fussy, I'll tell you what.
353
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,784
And, uh, well,
354
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,912
our son Bobby, he, uh, he wouldn't, uh...
355
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,456
[shudders] latch on either.
356
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,792
It was really hard on Peggy.
357
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,961
She thought maybe
she wasn't fit to be a mother.
358
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,713
But, she worked through it,
359
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,631
and she became, for my money,
360
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,259
the best mother in the state of Texas.
361
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,969
You kids are gonna be alright.
362
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,762
You really think so?
363
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,015
- I do.
- [machine whirring]
364
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,599
Thank you, Hank.
365
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,603
Oh, I think Peggy had
a UTI at some point, too.
366
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,981
[? dance music playing]
367
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:01,032
- [crowd chatter]
- [Connie] Hi, Bobby!
368
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,570
[indistinct chatter]
369
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,031
- You look really nice.
- Thank you!
370
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,700
I wore loose clothes,
so they wouldn't restrict my diaphragm.
371
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:10,951
[Connie giggles]
372
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,953
Can I buy you a drink?
373
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:15,664
- I already got us shots.
- Oh!
374
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:18,335
Okay, it's that kinda night!
375
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,420
Should we, uh, wait for Chane?
376
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,547
Uh, Chane's busy tonight.
377
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:26,467
Alright, next up we've got Connie S!
378
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,719
- [crowd cheering]
- Get up on stage, Connie!
379
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,972
Come on, Bobby!
You have to do this song with me.
380
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:35,142
But, I don't even know
what song you picked.
381
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,478
Trust me. You know it.
382
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:38,562
?
383
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,482
[Connie] [singing]
? How do I ?
384
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:45,362
? Get through one night without you ?
385
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,740
[singing]
? If I had to live without you ?
386
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:53,285
? What kinda life would that be? ?
387
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,579
[Connie and Bobby laughing]
388
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:58,290
[? romantic musical swell]
389
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:03,045
[both]
? How do I live without you? ?
390
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,423
? I want to know ?
391
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:10,219
? How do I breathe without you? ?
392
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:13,598
? If you ever go ?
393
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,433
[sobs] I miss my wife.
394
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,852
?
395
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,313
[wind whooshing]
396
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,108
Oh, wow! You guys sounded
397
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,317
awful!
398
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,402
But, cute too.
399
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,112
Oh, thanks!
400
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:31,198
Bobby, this is Ola, my roommate.
401
00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:34,284
I invited her to hang out tonight.
I told her all about you,
402
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,662
and I think you guys
would really hit it off.
403
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,580
Oh...
404
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,957
Cool.
405
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,459
- [insects chirping]
- You shoulda seen that grouting, Peggy.
406
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,712
Those kids were over the moon.
407
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:47,172
I told them that once the grout dries,
408
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:51,093
they can use a damp cloth
to buff that grout haze off the tiles.
409
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,469
- [phone beeps]
- [chimp screeching]
410
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,472
There ya go.
A perfect five-banana review.
411
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,725
All is right with the world.
412
00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,226
Oh, they even left a comment.
413
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:02,312
"Thank you for everything.
You were so great today,
414
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:05,816
"we even made a video about you
on our YouTube channel.
415
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:08,027
Click here to watch."
416
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,696
Peggy, look!
They made a video about my grouting!
417
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,406
Hey, followers.
418
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,075
Uh, I-I know it's been a while
since we posted.
419
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:18,662
Uh, honestly, we've just
been really struggling, and, um,
420
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:21,373
we weren't sure if we wanted
to keep up this parenting blog.
421
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,709
But today, we talked to a man named Hank,
422
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,712
who told us all about the struggles
he and his wife Peggy went through
423
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,297
when they were new parents.
424
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,632
Hank shared that Peggy
had trouble breastfeeding...
425
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:31,967
- Bwah!
- [? dramatic sting]
426
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,720
[Lena] ...and for Peggy to go through
all that while having a UTI
427
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,472
was pretty inspiring for us.
428
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,641
Hashtag UTI gang, hashtag Peggy!
429
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,144
[? dramatic music plays]
430
00:17:41,805 --> 00:17:43,854
?
431
00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:45,230
Peggy, look, I know you're upset
432
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,775
that I told them all that
personal stuff about you,
433
00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:50,778
but I panicked!
I didn't know what else to do!
434
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,781
That is not why I am upset Hank.
435
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:56,742
I mean, I am not exactly crazy about my...
436
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,912
"lady part struggles"
breaking the internet,
437
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:03,207
but, mostly, I am upset
because you are so afraid
438
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,709
to reveal something
personal about yourself
439
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,629
that you had to use my experience instead?
440
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,507
Is there nothing inside
of you that you can share?
441
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:14,301
Any feelings, emotions, anything?
442
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,969
Peggy, I just... [sighs]
443
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,263
I'm not good at opening up like that.
444
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,224
I am well aware, Hank.
445
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,393
And I am going to bed.
446
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:25,479
[? somber music playing]
447
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,605
One of those for me?
448
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,358
So, it's basically a combination
449
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,443
of German and Japanese cuisine.
450
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,821
I call it "Japan-erman."
451
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:34,988
[Ola giggles]
452
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,990
I'll grab another round of drinks.
453
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,368
- [? country music playing in bar]
- [crowd chattering]
454
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:42,539
- [sipping, gulping]
- [ice clinking]
455
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,873
Ah, look at these losers.
456
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,793
Probably met on some app.
What do you think?
457
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,878
Oh yeah. [chuckles]
Definitely.
458
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,881
Apps are the worst.
Last year, I went on 100 first dates,
459
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,508
and maybe three second dates.
460
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:58,178
Totally. Plus, you've gotta ask
all those first date questions,
461
00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:01,348
like, uh,
"What's your favorite kind of sauce?"
462
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,934
[giggling]
463
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,228
Sorry, I don't go on as many dates as you.
464
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:08,647
Why not? You're cute.
465
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:13,318
I don't know. I'm just really focused
on my career right now.
466
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,779
I'm usually at the restaurant
all day and all night,
467
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:18,657
so I don't really have
the time for dating.
468
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,992
Besides,
469
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:23,245
I don't think I'm gonna
meet my soulmate on an app.
470
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:26,749
I think she's just out there, somewhere.
471
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:30,169
- [? soft music playing]
- And when I see her, I'll just know.
472
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,463
That's really sweet.
473
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:35,299
- [? music stops]
- Hey, you a husky boy, you tryna eat?
474
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,426
- What?
- Wanna bang?
475
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:40,679
You're cool. I'm cool.
Connie thought you'd probably be into it,
476
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,890
so do you wanna get outta here?
477
00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:44,892
Oh! That's, uh,
478
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,811
really kind of you to offer,
479
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,356
but I actually need to
get back to the restaurant
480
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,565
and close things up.
481
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,150
All good.
482
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,902
I'm really sorry.
483
00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:57,905
You're very attractive and... smart.
484
00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:01,408
Bobby, relax. You're too nice. I'm fine.
485
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,410
Okay, well- Okay.
486
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,872
Really great to- yes, meet you.
487
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,999
- [Connie] Bobby?
- I gotta go! Bye!
488
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,878
?
489
00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:15,381
Hank, for the love of God,
490
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,466
there is nothing left
in this house to fix.
491
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:20,052
Hold on, I'm trying to explain something.
492
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:23,180
The day we brought Bobby home
from the hospital,
493
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:26,058
I was scared.
I didn't know what I was doing.
494
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,770
One day, you were resting
and Bobby needed his diaper changed,
495
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,563
and I'd never done that before.
496
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,233
I couldn't get the diaper
to fasten, so I...
497
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:37,904
I used this staple gun
to fasten the diaper.
498
00:20:39,274 --> 00:20:41,323
Okay...
499
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:44,535
Dang it, Peggy, I told you
an embarrassing story about myself,
500
00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,619
so now we're even!
501
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:48,539
That is not the same as opening up, Hank!
502
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:51,000
I know something is going on with you.
503
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:54,169
Every chance you get,
you are out the door,
504
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,922
working on some silly ChoreChimp job!
505
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,924
Well, what do you want me to say, Peggy?
506
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:02,428
That ever since I retired,
I feel like I don't have a purpose?
507
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,930
That I wanted to help
Boomhauer out so badly
508
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,850
because I just wanted to
feel useful to somebody?
509
00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:11,228
I'm sure you'd just love me
to tell you how scared I am
510
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:14,189
that I'll never feel satisfied
unless I'm working.
511
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,276
Well, too bad, Peggy.
I'm not gonna say all that.
512
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:20,654
I'm not a contestant on
some nude baking show.
513
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,698
I'm from a different generation.
514
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,034
We keep that stuff inside.
515
00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:26,577
Oh, Hank.
516
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:28,746
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
517
00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:31,665
- I feel the same way.
- You do?
518
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:34,084
I have not known what to do with myself
519
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:36,587
since I got back from Saudi Arabia.
520
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:38,839
Yesterday, I watched 12 hours
521
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,508
of that godforsaken reality show.
522
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:44,511
That is not how I pictured
my golden years.
523
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:47,681
Well... [sighs] okay. So, what do we do?
524
00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,558
I think we talk about it,
525
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:51,393
and we work through it.
526
00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:52,853
Together, Hank.
527
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:54,980
- [kiss smacking]
- [? gentle music playing]
528
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,565
Oh, and by the way,
529
00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,650
I knew about the staple thing.
530
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:01,362
- You did?
- [laughs] Hank! There were holes
531
00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:03,864
where you pried the staples
out of the crib!
532
00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:06,743
Did you think I was not going to notice?
533
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,036
[grinding, whirring]
534
00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:12,164
Hey, man! There's somebody
waitin' for you on the balcony.
535
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,750
[? soft music playing]
536
00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,502
- Hi, Bobby.
- Hi!
537
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,545
[clears throat] Um,
538
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,631
how did you know where I live?
539
00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:22,592
Guessed. Nailed it!
540
00:22:23,093 --> 00:22:24,344
I called Joseph.
541
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:26,887
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
542
00:22:26,888 --> 00:22:30,099
I didn't mean to ambush you
by trying to set you up with Ola.
543
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:32,935
I just thought it would've been cool
if you guys hit it off
544
00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:35,896
because that way,
we could all hang out together.
545
00:22:35,897 --> 00:22:39,692
I just... I really want us
to be friends, you know?
546
00:22:39,693 --> 00:22:41,151
That's what I want, too.
547
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:42,528
Yeah?
548
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:44,113
Yep.
549
00:22:44,114 --> 00:22:46,990
- Oh, is "The Adulterers" on?
- What's "The Adulterers"?
550
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,575
You're gonna love this!
551
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,828
You see those two people
in that apartment?
552
00:22:50,829 --> 00:22:53,497
They are having a torrid affair!
553
00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:56,167
You can be the man. His name is Roderick.
554
00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,754
[soft voice] "Oh, Roderick,
will you make love to me tonight?"
555
00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:03,090
[deep voice] "Of course, my love.
556
00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:06,593
Let me just finish disposing
of your husband's dismembered body."
557
00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:09,388
See, Joseph? That's how ya do it.
558
00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:10,889
[Joseph] Oh!
559
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:11,975
?
560
00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:16,021
[? "Yahoos and Triangles"
by The Refreshments playing]
561
00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:34,205
- ? Yee-haw! ?
- ? Wa-hoo! ?
562
00:23:51,341 --> 00:23:53,390
[? song ends]
563
00:23:53,391 --> 00:23:54,475
[birds chirping]
564
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:56,393
- [golf club thumps]
- [crowd cheering]
565
00:23:56,394 --> 00:23:58,437
?
566
00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:01,440
[Hank] I'm not a contestant
on some nude baking show.
567
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:04,444
[? fanfare playing]
568
00:24:04,494 --> 00:24:09,044
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