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1
00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:24,990
Wallens! What are you waiting on? A
trail of rose petals, princess?
2
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,630
Let's go! We got a game to win!
3
00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:29,410
Get your head out of here!
4
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:43,910
Quickly come and go!
5
00:00:46,370 --> 00:00:47,370
I'm big!
6
00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:52,970
I'll take me with you for all that jazz,
the NFL, to a giant mansion with a
7
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,030
giant pool that has a fat hot tub that's
connected to this giant pool so I can
8
00:00:56,030 --> 00:00:57,410
swim from hot to cold whenever I want.
9
00:00:57,950 --> 00:00:58,950
Yes.
10
00:00:59,590 --> 00:01:00,590
Crazy.
11
00:01:04,129 --> 00:01:05,430
It holds ten songs.
12
00:01:06,430 --> 00:01:07,770
I put all my favorites on it.
13
00:01:33,199 --> 00:01:34,420
Let us change your life, kid.
14
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,740
Our little secret.
15
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,720
We can move across the whole country.
16
00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:43,340
I only have Peacebrook twice, please.
17
00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:47,540
Once for a game in Wigglesburg, and then
once in Wigglesburg by accident.
18
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:48,840
Where?
19
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,260
I should probably mark Wigglesburg
better.
20
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,840
Son, let me tell you a little story
about the Beatles.
21
00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:58,880
They played about 250 shows, and all
this little shit was in and around the
22
00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,880
of Hamburg.
23
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:01,140
And you know how they became?
24
00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:02,710
The biggest band in the world.
25
00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:05,810
In fact, they left him.
26
00:02:13,930 --> 00:02:14,930
Hey,
27
00:02:22,070 --> 00:02:23,710
why don't you go dance with Ted Kim?
28
00:02:24,450 --> 00:02:25,670
Are you serious?
29
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:27,910
Yeah. Feel free.
30
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,720
American needs a tradition.
31
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,380
Behold the ancient one.
32
00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:23,600
Jane Morrison said I've had more holes
filled in her grandpa's bowling ball.
33
00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:25,160
Take me home. Yeah.
34
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,720
I always do that because, um, you know,
I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm a
35
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,280
little, I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm
a little, I'm a little, I'm a little,
36
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:36,460
I'm a little, I'm a little,
37
00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:22,130
himself together on this drive. He will
need this W against Middlesburg.
38
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:23,410
And break.
39
00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:28,570
Oh, awful!
40
00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:31,470
Wallace is trembling.
41
00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:16,510
that we're not fighting could it be that
we have been this way before
42
00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:13,070
a unique structure that's been apart
from other single -celled organisms.
43
00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:21,730
Hello, my old friend.
44
00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:28,410
Living in the past, Hank?
45
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:33,030
You were a bright kid, even if you
didn't apply yourself.
46
00:07:34,810 --> 00:07:37,250
I bet there's a lot more you could offer
Eastbrook High.
47
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:56,710
your preconceptions about bacterial
reproduction because most of it's
48
00:07:56,710 --> 00:08:02,850
which you know you kids should all be
you know until true love or whatever
49
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:09,070
um and use protection okay
50
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:13,330
let's see what kind of nasty bugs live
in our mouths we just need everybody to
51
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:19,710
spit in that's what your mom said hey
come on guys phone's away
52
00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:22,620
Mr. Wallace?
53
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,100
Yeah, Grace?
54
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,520
What's on our phones is important.
55
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,880
Why aren't we talking about the egg?
56
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,079
Okay, great.
57
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,120
Let's talk about the egg.
58
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,820
There's no origin story for egg.
59
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,440
Didn't watch it arrive on a meteor or
sneak from a government lab.
60
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,059
It's just here.
61
00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:42,240
First, we hardly noticed.
62
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:44,580
But each day, year by year, it kept
growing.
63
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:46,760
Doesn't move, at least we don't think.
64
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:49,880
It's stationary as a plant, growing,
spreading slowly.
65
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,390
It's omnipresent, but not bothersome
enough that cars can't drive down the
66
00:08:53,390 --> 00:08:55,570
street. People can't go about their
usual routines.
67
00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:59,830
Most boats use to ignore the vehicle
together, hoping it just goes away.
68
00:09:00,150 --> 00:09:02,490
Especially with room of swirling that's
starting to attack.
69
00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:05,110
All right.
70
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,730
Bring up computer technicians on the
desk, please.
71
00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:09,910
Have a good day.
72
00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:13,310
Agreed.
73
00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:16,370
How's your mom?
74
00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:19,410
Fine, Mr. Wallace.
75
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:21,309
That's good.
76
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,310
That's good.
77
00:09:22,370 --> 00:09:23,370
How's your mom?
78
00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:25,710
Dead.
79
00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:30,370
Despite protests by the school safety
officer, this year's prompt theme is
80
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:34,450
millennial. Get in the problematic
spirit by only convincing the 2000s
81
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:38,270
Did you see Charlie's TikTok about how
the egg is scary gluten?
82
00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:39,369
What's gluten?
83
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,370
Check it out, Jasmine.
84
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,430
Straight up video of the asteroid that
brought the egg. That's the scene from
85
00:09:43,430 --> 00:09:46,430
the movie Armageddon. We have to take
this problem seriously, not turn it into
86
00:09:46,430 --> 00:09:47,430
meme. Look.
87
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,020
The ick is just frankenfoo GMOs that
feed from Monsanto Lab.
88
00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:55,240
That's why I only eat organic.
89
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,640
Bro!
90
00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,220
Cultural appropriate much?
91
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:04,300
I'm a 64th Cherokee with receipts, and
I'm telling you, J. Guava wouldn't
92
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,980
approve of your capitalistic colonial
mindset, son.
93
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,240
Come on.
94
00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:09,600
Almost lost my appetite.
95
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,360
This bookmaking reminds us all to avoid
the growth of the ick in the Western...
96
00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:20,340
will not be tolerated.
97
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:24,440
Will ick affect the primary? We're
joined now by our political panel.
98
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:29,080
the ick disproportionately affects black
and brown voters. Well, I heard the ick
99
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,080
started in China.
100
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,140
Bad eating weirdos.
101
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,840
Maybe the government will send a team to
help clean it up.
102
00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:35,920
Well, we're definitely not getting any
help from people.
103
00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:37,660
Hola, Mr. Hunt.
104
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,420
Hola, Senora Diaz.
105
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:41,620
Mi abuela.
106
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:46,820
She's, um, how do you say bruja? Your
grandma likes to make beer?
107
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,740
It's coming from the ick worshipping
leftist couple. You kidding me?
108
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:56,280
Bruja is a witch. Mi abuela bruja says
the ick is the ick from the god. You're
109
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,380
all in for another one.
110
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,920
The ick won't save us until we have it.
111
00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:03,200
It's vicious.
112
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:05,500
Are you scared of my boots?
113
00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,320
No, I wasn't. That is so inappropriate.
114
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:08,680
You're a stranger.
115
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:09,840
You're kidding me again.
116
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:11,600
The ick does not move, mi amor.
117
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:13,020
Well, I know what I saw.
118
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,300
On the American border, it's government
overreach. Well, you're right,
119
00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:22,800
especially when the data is clear that
vitamin D is an effective... Oh, my God,
120
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:23,719
I'm pregnant.
121
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,560
Have some class, you piece of shit.
122
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,320
Well,
123
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,940
Griffin, if he takes you to prom, you'll
let him play with your boots.
124
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,860
Okay. Wait, what? No. You want to spend
another summer doing steampunk cosplay
125
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:39,260
at the Ren Faire? How are we friends?
126
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:42,860
Hi.
127
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,480
Hey.
128
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,580
You should have drawn.
129
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:50,770
Wow, that's really good.
130
00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:53,630
What kind of monkey is that?
131
00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:58,370
Uh, it's a regular monkey.
132
00:11:59,190 --> 00:12:00,190
Huh.
133
00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:02,730
I'll let you play with my...
134
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:21,700
That's racist.
135
00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:26,980
Attaboy.
136
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,080
I'm bored.
137
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,700
Is the egg gonna do anything?
138
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,920
It's been here, like, two months.
139
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,640
Jocelyn, the egg's been here for years.
140
00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:40,340
Huh. I guess I just never really noticed
what it's doing here. What's anything
141
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:41,340
doing here?
142
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,480
Don't suck.
143
00:12:44,060 --> 00:12:45,060
Hey!
144
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,900
You girls smoking? No.
145
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:27,810
I wrote a new poem, Industrial Love
Sink, number three.
146
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:29,930
Going for that Ginsburg vibe.
147
00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:33,210
I mean, it's what I was.
148
00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:37,430
We're on, like, 13 seconds, so I don't,
like, care or anything.
149
00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:41,590
But I'll probably minor a poetry when I
get to Oval next year.
150
00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:42,749
I'm not going.
151
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:46,370
Hey, what, you're going to get off the
wait list? A wait list is a slow motion
152
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:47,770
swipe left of college admissions.
153
00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:50,230
I'm not leaving Eastbrook. I'm staying
here.
154
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:53,810
Just want to... Girl fat and old eating
bill -beated sandwiches like the rest of
155
00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:56,110
the proletariat. She'll pay off with my
parents.
156
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:12,210
Hank, heaven knows I hate to jinx a
sale, but doesn't it seem kind of stupid
157
00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:17,530
a young lady to buy these eggs off?
158
00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:22,210
Honey. He's smarter than you look.
159
00:14:22,430 --> 00:14:23,430
Thanks.
160
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,410
Thanks. Do you guys think the egg is in
the plumbing and we're all drinking it?
161
00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:27,890
Probably. Congratulations.
162
00:14:28,190 --> 00:14:29,109
Thanks. Cool.
163
00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,370
Thank you. Are we done? Can we go home
now? Don't be rude.
164
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:35,550
Grace has been down in the dumps ever
since she got weightless to that
165
00:14:35,650 --> 00:14:36,269
Thanks, Dad.
166
00:14:36,270 --> 00:14:39,770
Tell the world what a loser I am. There
is no shame here.
167
00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:46,630
As an Asian American, Grace had to score
150 points higher on the SAT than her
168
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:48,090
Caucasian counterpart.
169
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:51,560
Just to be considered for the same Ivy
League. Now she wants to skip college
170
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,200
entirely. Yes, Ferris. Tell me more
about me.
171
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,100
Delaying life never really works out.
172
00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,860
That's why we see the dentist every six
months.
173
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,880
Sage wisdom from your totes fave teach.
174
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:06,740
Mrs. Brown is my totes fave teach. Mrs.
Brown has swinging gums. Grace is a
175
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:11,280
Capricorn. January 10th, she hates unmet
goals. January? No, Grace is born in
176
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:12,280
February. Grace?
177
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,620
Grace, are you not applying?
178
00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:22,710
Don't tell Ted.
179
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,190
We're closed.
180
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:27,650
December. November.
181
00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:29,310
October. Fish.
182
00:15:29,590 --> 00:15:31,030
Mercury. Rice.
183
00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:32,710
Carved. Chinese.
184
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:37,990
MSG. All Asian food will kill you, hon.
Or Asian. Done.
185
00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:39,210
I don't think so.
186
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:46,830
I don't think that Asian food is so bad.
187
00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:48,930
You know?
188
00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:50,290
Reddit.
189
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,720
Shoot, well, you never know.
190
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:09,440
So I said to the salesman, this doesn't
look like Mojave Ivory Metallic to me.
191
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,460
And he said, Ted, you've got a real nose
for detail.
192
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:19,100
This is Iridium Ivory Metallic. And
since we filed up and sold the Mojave
193
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:23,600
Metallic to a poke dealer in
Wickelsburg, you can have the Iridium
194
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:28,520
Metallic intended for him with full
bulletproof UV protected windows.
195
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,220
And no extra charge.
196
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,180
Louis Vuitton pepper spray.
197
00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:36,480
For you to send off handsy college boys.
198
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,900
Oh, please, don't get me into it. Think
about what you're saying for just one
199
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,640
goddamn second, Mom.
200
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:48,040
Great. Wouldn't you agree you need to
invest in your future? Sweetheart, Dr.
201
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,700
Kirk asked you to stop lecturing in the
form of a question. Darling, do you
202
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:52,760
recall Dr.
203
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:57,220
Kirk asking you to recognize my need to
process information?
204
00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:58,699
My way?
205
00:16:58,700 --> 00:16:59,900
That's wonderful, dear.
206
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:04,040
It's delightful having an expert's
opinion on your compulsive need for
207
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:08,579
toys. Angel, Dr. Kirk says my desire for
beautiful things is
208
00:17:08,579 --> 00:17:12,160
natural and healthy.
209
00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:15,040
Oh, well, I hope your car doesn't turn
into a pumpkin.
210
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:16,420
Jesus!
211
00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:19,579
Stop nice fighting.
212
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,220
Who cares about tans and luxury cars?
There's a monster on the lawn.
213
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,300
Monster swing?
214
00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:28,390
Ha ha ha!
215
00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:43,250
Fascinating, Captain.
216
00:18:50,490 --> 00:18:51,610
All right, Hank.
217
00:18:52,150 --> 00:18:53,150
Go time.
218
00:19:01,510 --> 00:19:06,350
Live from NYC, the East Challenge.
219
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:10,330
What the hell? Despite the viral TikTok
trend sweeping America, school health
220
00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:14,630
officials ask you to do not lick the
ick. And for the love of God, do not
221
00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:15,630
the ick.
222
00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:20,270
This is what we in the industry call a
kick -ass letter of recommendation from
223
00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:22,230
your toad sex -babe teach.
224
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:24,710
I'm supposed to enjoy this.
225
00:19:27,170 --> 00:19:30,430
Grace, no, it's a, it's a, it helps you
get off the wait list.
226
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,550
My parents must be super desperate to
talk you into this.
227
00:19:34,650 --> 00:19:37,290
Grayson, you know the Beatles, right?
The Beatles?
228
00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:41,150
The Beatles spent three years in
Hamburg, okay?
229
00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:44,270
But do you know how they became the best
band in the world? They had a unique
230
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:47,090
dual songwriting team in Lennon and
McCartney that accepted constructive
231
00:19:47,090 --> 00:19:50,770
criticism resulting in albums with few
fillers alongside innovative marketing
232
00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:52,610
with concept albums and music videos.
233
00:19:52,910 --> 00:19:53,910
That's good.
234
00:19:54,710 --> 00:19:56,470
Grayson, you have so much potential.
235
00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:59,390
That's the polite way of saying I'm not
good enough the way I am.
236
00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:02,710
Y 'all do.
237
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:04,420
You're old.
238
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,560
The participants for the non -binary
rally for Haiti and the Kill Oak Rumors
239
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,660
bake sale must stay 50 yards away from
each other. Ranger in my place tonight.
240
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,820
Big roast behind booze. Pass it on.
241
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:19,360
Hey. You know, Sophia, I've been
practicing my Spanish.
242
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,540
And, uh, maybe you might tutor me.
Paquito.
243
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:26,660
Paquito.
244
00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:32,260
Quiero montar esta noche.
245
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,080
And Mikuri.
246
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,760
Lucio! Do you use those filthy words to
seduce Red King?
247
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:39,140
Oh, yeah.
248
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,820
Cochin! Cochin!
249
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:42,920
Cochin!
250
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,560
I know you're still alive.
251
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:36,020
Okay, long time friend, but uh, bar's
not even open yet.
252
00:22:27,470 --> 00:22:28,470
I'm gonna call you doctor, alright?
253
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:46,200
Drink deep this nectar of the dogs. Fear
not the plague. Use a rubber.
254
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,820
Bro, you gotta tell me which of these
bitches are legal.
255
00:23:49,460 --> 00:23:55,720
Sarah Q, Ashley P, Pia, Tara, Mackenzie
G, Mackenzie F, Tori, Zoe, Amber,
256
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:56,880
Kelsey.
257
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,080
Why does Mr. Wallace even give a shit
anyway?
258
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,360
Who does he think he is?
259
00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:04,619
Maybe she's had enough.
260
00:24:04,620 --> 00:24:05,620
I'm fine.
261
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,940
Why don't you go find Heather? She's
madly in love with you.
262
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:19,600
Don't be a slob.
263
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,559
Hey, guys.
264
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,560
Guys.
265
00:24:22,780 --> 00:24:23,780
Hey, Wallace.
266
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:28,180
Ah, man. Guys, you won't believe it. I
can't even explain it. There was a crash
267
00:24:28,180 --> 00:24:29,159
and a man.
268
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,860
What the heck? What the heck?
269
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,720
What the heck is wrong?
270
00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:40,300
Hey, why don't you take a ride with us?
We're about to bust up a high school
271
00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:41,660
kicker at the Hobart boys' house.
272
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:42,880
Steal their beer.
273
00:24:42,980 --> 00:24:44,160
Party like we're 18 again.
274
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,060
We even brought an old friend.
275
00:24:46,340 --> 00:24:47,340
B .O.
276
00:24:48,159 --> 00:24:49,520
The ancient one.
277
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,680
Oh, well,
278
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,800
we did have fun back in the day, boys,
but I'm going to have to say that I'm a
279
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,940
little too old for that these days.
280
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:04,000
And you know, just saying this as a
friend, sometimes you got to admit when
281
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,000
have a problem.
282
00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:10,900
I'm afraid we cannot allow you to be
such a wet blanket. The old Hank Wallace
283
00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,080
was a dope bro.
284
00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:17,910
What's with all this wee, wee, wee, wee,
wee? He never turned down the
285
00:25:17,910 --> 00:25:20,310
opportunity to get turned up.
286
00:25:20,790 --> 00:25:22,610
Not a lot of the old Hank left these
days, boys.
287
00:25:22,810 --> 00:25:26,630
But we've got a big surprise for you,
Hanky.
288
00:25:28,930 --> 00:25:30,170
And that's for your house.
289
00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:52,660
Thank you for watching!
290
00:26:38,860 --> 00:26:44,320
Pretty sure you dicks are possessed.
Possessed is an ugly word for such a
291
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:45,320
beautiful experience.
292
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:50,360
The X's are valued. We were chosen for
those it does not value.
293
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,980
It consumes.
294
00:27:04,940 --> 00:27:08,060
It's overwhelming and...
295
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,460
numbing at the same time.
296
00:27:11,180 --> 00:27:12,180
Yeah.
297
00:27:13,020 --> 00:27:14,780
That's why we gotta leave Eastbrook.
298
00:27:15,420 --> 00:27:16,800
Eastbrook? No.
299
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,100
I'm talking about the ick.
300
00:27:19,460 --> 00:27:21,160
I think the ick is watching us.
301
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,060
Did you see Celeste is rocking cornrows
on Insta?
302
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:26,680
Someone has to stop her.
303
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,700
Isn't a joke, Dylan.
304
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:30,620
No. It isn't, Grace.
305
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,880
Cultural colonialism is literal
violence.
306
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:36,980
The ick never stole the hair of my
people.
307
00:27:39,690 --> 00:27:40,690
I'm gonna go make the rounds.
308
00:28:25,550 --> 00:28:28,510
Listen to me. The cops are coming to
break up the party at Hobart. If you're
309
00:28:28,510 --> 00:28:29,510
there, you need to leave now.
310
00:28:29,810 --> 00:28:34,470
Hey, you're in danger. And in case I
never see you again, I need you to know
311
00:28:34,470 --> 00:28:37,910
that I... I might be your dad.
312
00:28:38,150 --> 00:28:43,090
Hey, oh, we had sex that one time, and
trust me, you ain't nobody's dad, okay?
313
00:28:43,510 --> 00:28:46,630
Didn't you say you were moving to camp?
This is not... This is gross.
314
00:28:47,030 --> 00:28:50,110
Yeah, this is not a good time. I gotta
go. I'm in here.
315
00:29:15,830 --> 00:29:17,910
Thanks for saying you liked my monkey.
316
00:29:19,890 --> 00:29:21,050
Your regular monkey?
317
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,380
All right Dorothy, turn right behind
you.
318
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,680
They get killing people and eating them
alive.
319
00:31:28,940 --> 00:31:30,460
Everyone has to get to safety.
320
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:40,080
Mr. Wallace, I know a man who could use
a beer when I see one. God damn it.
321
00:31:40,460 --> 00:31:42,000
You kids all want to be zombies?
322
00:31:42,420 --> 00:31:45,420
And not the cool, sexy kind like in
Harry Potter?
323
00:31:45,740 --> 00:31:46,780
Take it rolling, thug.
324
00:31:47,580 --> 00:31:49,540
I'm talking the demonic, soulless type.
325
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,080
Great, great.
326
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:54,560
Get out of here. We gotta go. What the
hell?
327
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,160
Herbie meant to offer.
328
00:31:56,929 --> 00:32:00,050
Look, Dylan, I don't expect you to
understand.
329
00:32:00,390 --> 00:32:04,210
I just have to get her out of here at
some grace. Oh, I get it.
330
00:32:04,630 --> 00:32:06,810
Screwed the mom, now you gotta screw the
daughter.
331
00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:08,850
That's some real Freudian noise.
332
00:32:09,270 --> 00:32:10,270
Weird old damn.
333
00:32:10,510 --> 00:32:11,990
Hey, don't be ableist.
334
00:32:12,210 --> 00:32:16,650
Okay. Look, just because you threw a
ball a billion years ago doesn't make
335
00:32:16,650 --> 00:32:21,290
special. I can throw a ball, and when
I'm gone, someone else will throw a
336
00:32:21,890 --> 00:32:22,910
Nothing means nothing.
337
00:32:29,260 --> 00:32:30,260
Grace, please.
338
00:32:38,820 --> 00:32:40,860
Get lost, loser.
339
00:32:41,900 --> 00:32:44,920
Get lost, loser. Get lost, loser.
340
00:32:45,180 --> 00:32:46,540
Get lost, loser.
341
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:07,200
I'll boo it right when it was just
getting good.
342
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,100
That's gotta hurt.
343
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:17,380
I think the way Jason
344
00:33:17,380 --> 00:33:19,560
talks to you is totally misogynistic.
345
00:33:19,940 --> 00:33:21,400
I mean, calling you a hoe.
346
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:26,240
Personally, I don't see gender, but if I
did, I would worship women.
347
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,740
That doesn't make any sense.
348
00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:31,840
Gender binary doesn't make sense, baby.
349
00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:47,780
I don't need to do all the patriarchy to
keep women oppressed and survive.
350
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:49,960
Now let's get involved.
351
00:34:03,150 --> 00:34:05,050
I'm gonna bang a teenager, stud.
352
00:34:45,610 --> 00:34:47,670
How much are you going to miss all these
knuckleheads after you graduate?
353
00:34:48,230 --> 00:34:54,170
Well, my favorite French modernist, my
fellow shard, said,
354
00:34:54,350 --> 00:34:58,010
we give each other memories when we
leave each other.
355
00:35:00,530 --> 00:35:02,770
Yeah, I have no idea what you just said.
356
00:35:04,990 --> 00:35:09,790
And that is why you are the coolest girl
in Eastbrook.
357
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:28,120
I'm not falling for that again. I think
I'm going to Picklesburg next weekend.
358
00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:29,420
I've never been.
359
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:39,440
It's a Capuchin.
360
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:43,040
What? My regular monkey.
361
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:45,180
Called Capuchin.
362
00:35:46,620 --> 00:35:47,620
I like that.
363
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:03,820
Ew, are you eating dairy again?
364
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:05,078
That wasn't me.
365
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,080
W, is someone watching you tinkle?
366
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,280
Listen up, scum -suck.
367
00:36:10,540 --> 00:36:13,100
Exposing pedos is extremely un -
368
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:34,680
I'm sorry I called you a hoe.
369
00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:49,300
Thank you.
370
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,480
And secure the mayor. Get those kids
someplace safe.
371
00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:39,040
Instead of command center.
372
00:39:39,860 --> 00:39:43,720
Hey, what's the most important location
in this town?
373
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,200
Thank you all for being here.
374
00:40:01,460 --> 00:40:03,980
My name is Dr. Althea Prentiss.
375
00:40:04,300 --> 00:40:09,300
and I am in charge of the federal
response in this state. Now, the
376
00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:13,380
spoken to your mayor, and we have been
ordered out of Eastbrook to our main
377
00:40:13,380 --> 00:40:18,400
mission. We are not abandoning
Eastbrook. I'm leaving behind a
378
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,460
fortify this building.
379
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,440
I suggest that you stay inside there.
380
00:40:22,980 --> 00:40:25,700
You cannot help me if you go out there.
Thank you.
381
00:40:26,780 --> 00:40:30,020
What could be more important than the
taxpayers of Eastbrook?
382
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,640
We're headed to Wickelsburg to protect
your hydroelectric dam.
383
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,920
Wickelsburg. Here's what we know so far.
384
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:45,180
After decades in stasis, the
intracellular hypoplasm known as ICK has
385
00:40:45,180 --> 00:40:47,960
reached its kinetic phase.
386
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:53,640
How long will that last? We don't know
for certain, but we are estimating
387
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,160
four to eight years.
388
00:40:59,980 --> 00:41:03,520
So please, people, listen to me, listen
to me. The government cannot save you
389
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:08,100
right now, okay? We simply do not have
the resources, not without raising
390
00:41:08,580 --> 00:41:10,040
Big government socialism.
391
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:11,680
Now, come on, coach.
392
00:41:11,980 --> 00:41:15,320
You kind of scored $5 ,000 to give me a
jacuzzi in the boys' locker room.
393
00:41:15,540 --> 00:41:18,900
Oh, so football is socialism now, Hank?
394
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,980
You make me sick. People, listen to me,
okay?
395
00:41:24,340 --> 00:41:27,120
Barricade your doors and your windows,
okay?
396
00:41:27,710 --> 00:41:29,510
Stop with your things and your drain.
397
00:41:29,810 --> 00:41:33,330
Because I say, please, again, do not go
outside.
398
00:41:33,590 --> 00:41:35,030
Our kids can still go to prom tomorrow.
399
00:41:35,370 --> 00:41:38,190
Right? Yeah, you should definitely
cancel prom.
400
00:41:38,450 --> 00:41:40,870
My daughter is going to be prom queen.
401
00:41:41,170 --> 00:41:45,490
How dare you try to take that away from
us? Ma 'am, I am not trying to take
402
00:41:45,490 --> 00:41:47,190
anything away from anybody.
403
00:41:47,510 --> 00:41:50,630
I only get the news. You created the
news. News information.
404
00:41:50,910 --> 00:41:52,690
You didn't die last night.
405
00:41:53,350 --> 00:41:54,550
False flags.
406
00:41:55,070 --> 00:41:56,070
Classist actors.
407
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,040
Ted Kim. Kim Real Estate. If I may.
408
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,840
What? I think we're all on the same page
here, Doctor.
409
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,040
Each rookie needs our lives to proceed
as normal.
410
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,020
Otherwise, the Earth wins.
411
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,760
Wouldn't you agree, Doctor Prince?
412
00:42:13,060 --> 00:42:14,060
No.
413
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:19,060
Well, I'm sure we agree that's just your
opinion.
414
00:42:19,300 --> 00:42:22,600
And wouldn't you also agree that we are
entitled to our opinions?
415
00:42:29,710 --> 00:42:34,550
Average Joe like me can step up and have
his ideas are respected as equal to an
416
00:42:34,550 --> 00:42:37,050
expert. That's what makes the country
really super.
417
00:42:37,550 --> 00:42:40,030
Listen up, you dudes.
418
00:42:40,270 --> 00:42:42,930
You've got to take responsibility for
your country.
419
00:42:47,750 --> 00:42:50,490
Shit. If they wanted to build a mock,
they'd take it seriously.
420
00:42:50,910 --> 00:42:53,210
Oh, uh, Dr. Brendan, please wait.
421
00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:56,290
You're absolutely right about the
dangers of the egg. I've experienced
422
00:42:56,290 --> 00:43:00,360
firsthand. I'm Hank Wallace, a science
teacher here in Eastbrook. I have a
423
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,060
theory about the ick.
424
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:06,840
Please. You're right about the ick going
through a new stage of growth.
425
00:43:07,660 --> 00:43:13,560
But it's also going through a stage of
active cellular respiration. However, it
426
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:18,560
still maintains a stage of
photosynthesis, meaning it still has to
427
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:20,700
That is how we kill the ick.
428
00:43:21,540 --> 00:43:25,680
See, because it's eukaryote, and it
collects UV light, converts it into
429
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:26,680
energy.
430
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,820
But it can't convert and collect at the
same time.
431
00:43:30,380 --> 00:43:35,040
That's why it only grows in the dark,
outside and inside.
432
00:43:35,340 --> 00:43:39,760
For UV light, UV light, man, stops dead
in its tracks.
433
00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:42,100
Wow. Yeah.
434
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:45,340
Hold that thought. Okay.
435
00:43:45,700 --> 00:43:47,360
Phone. Hello,
436
00:43:52,100 --> 00:43:53,620
Mr. President.
437
00:43:53,900 --> 00:43:54,900
Yes,
438
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,970
Eastbrook. High school science teacher.
Hey, Wallace.
439
00:43:58,210 --> 00:44:01,670
Has presented the precise breakthrough
we need to win this whole damn war.
440
00:44:02,990 --> 00:44:04,270
UV light, sir.
441
00:44:05,350 --> 00:44:07,390
No, no one has considered it before.
442
00:44:07,730 --> 00:44:08,730
All right.
443
00:44:09,170 --> 00:44:12,310
You think he deserves a Nobel Prize?
444
00:44:13,150 --> 00:44:15,670
Well, please, sir, transfer me to the
King of Sweden.
445
00:44:15,890 --> 00:44:17,090
You can stop now. Hello?
446
00:44:17,310 --> 00:44:21,310
Is this Carl Gustav, King of Sweden and
presenter of Nobel Prizes? I'll just go.
447
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:27,120
Sir, what do you mean there's no Nobel
Prize for super obvious shit we figured
448
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:28,420
out from day one?
449
00:44:30,700 --> 00:44:32,920
We know about the UV light dipshit.
450
00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:34,520
It's a goddamn plant.
451
00:44:35,980 --> 00:44:39,460
Unfortunately, due to our supply chain,
we have a limited quantity of both.
452
00:44:39,740 --> 00:44:41,840
And all of our surplus has been
shibboleth.
453
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:46,360
Nichols, turn.
454
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:26,340
What the globalists don't want you to
know is that eating it gives men extreme
455
00:45:26,340 --> 00:45:32,340
sexual... You will gain technical power!
456
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,140
Move it to your right now. You've got to
take a look at it.
457
00:45:56,120 --> 00:46:00,480
We're skipping the vaccine. The egg
boosts all of our immune systems by
458
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:04,360
releasing positive gut probiotics or
whatever into the air.
459
00:46:08,430 --> 00:46:09,510
I think I got it on my shoe.
460
00:46:15,770 --> 00:46:16,770
Okay.
461
00:46:16,930 --> 00:46:18,190
I know what you want me to say.
462
00:46:19,810 --> 00:46:21,950
Hank, you're an alcoholic.
463
00:46:23,290 --> 00:46:25,130
What the hell are you doing opening a
bar?
464
00:46:27,590 --> 00:46:28,790
On the contrary, Hank.
465
00:46:29,110 --> 00:46:31,390
We want you to do whatever makes you
happy.
466
00:46:31,630 --> 00:46:32,890
Live a little. Let go.
467
00:46:33,890 --> 00:46:36,810
Surrender to a higher power.
468
00:46:37,450 --> 00:46:38,450
Come.
469
00:46:40,150 --> 00:46:42,790
Never crave alcohol again.
470
00:46:43,230 --> 00:46:44,230
No peace.
471
00:46:44,590 --> 00:46:45,730
No bliss.
472
00:46:46,790 --> 00:46:48,190
Suck it up on me.
473
00:46:49,030 --> 00:46:51,210
Sucker. No, thanks.
474
00:46:51,490 --> 00:46:52,550
You go ahead.
475
00:46:57,030 --> 00:46:58,850
This one was way too bright today.
476
00:47:01,090 --> 00:47:04,750
I've been thinking, babe. I support your
decision to stay in Eastbrook.
477
00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:07,110
This is a...
478
00:47:07,370 --> 00:47:08,370
Wonderful town.
479
00:47:10,050 --> 00:47:11,130
What's gotten into you?
480
00:47:13,750 --> 00:47:15,090
One way up in the backseat.
481
00:47:16,190 --> 00:47:18,710
Don't take this the wrong way, but you
totally look like shit.
482
00:47:19,230 --> 00:47:20,870
My appearance is all that matters.
483
00:47:21,470 --> 00:47:23,150
I'm so sexually normative, babe.
484
00:47:25,290 --> 00:47:26,650
We shouldn't be out here at night.
485
00:47:27,770 --> 00:47:29,230
It's just who goes panopticon.
486
00:47:31,030 --> 00:47:32,030
Fear.
487
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:38,200
Sit down, kid.
488
00:47:38,500 --> 00:47:39,560
You, Mr. Wallace.
489
00:47:40,740 --> 00:47:42,180
Hey, you okay?
490
00:47:42,700 --> 00:47:43,700
Want a ride?
491
00:47:49,020 --> 00:47:50,900
Great! I'm sorry!
492
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:55,040
Can I get... Hey, go throw a ball, kid.
493
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:12,800
You know, Grace, some boys in the animal
kingdom... Bro, I don't need to hear
494
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,300
about the birds and the bees, Mr.
Wallace.
495
00:48:14,620 --> 00:48:16,100
I'm 18. Not the birds and the bees.
496
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:17,540
The wasp and the tarantula.
497
00:48:18,620 --> 00:48:22,520
The female hawk wasp, when she is ready
to lay her egg, she paralyzes the
498
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,660
tarantula with her stinger that then
lays her eggs in its abdomen.
499
00:48:26,180 --> 00:48:29,300
When the larvae are ready to hatch, they
eat the tarantula from the inside out.
500
00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:31,698
You know what I mean?
501
00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:35,180
That being pregnant is like getting
eaten alive by a parasite?
502
00:48:36,410 --> 00:48:41,050
What I mean is, I think Dylan is trying
to put something inside you.
503
00:48:41,310 --> 00:48:42,790
He's already put it inside me.
504
00:48:43,310 --> 00:48:45,250
I did not need to hear that.
505
00:48:45,970 --> 00:48:47,470
I think Dylan is infected.
506
00:48:47,890 --> 00:48:48,890
With what?
507
00:48:49,430 --> 00:48:50,850
Did you see his athletic physical?
508
00:48:51,410 --> 00:48:54,330
I swear, he gave me the crop after he
promised.
509
00:48:57,750 --> 00:48:58,750
What's happening?
510
00:49:00,270 --> 00:49:01,270
It's in the air.
511
00:49:11,790 --> 00:49:12,408
Are you okay?
512
00:49:12,410 --> 00:49:13,410
I think so.
513
00:49:17,230 --> 00:49:18,230
Shit.
514
00:49:20,170 --> 00:49:21,170
Fuck.
515
00:49:27,570 --> 00:49:28,570
Arthur.
516
00:49:30,890 --> 00:49:31,930
Please don't post this.
517
00:49:32,910 --> 00:49:34,790
I'm texting my cousin. He dragged me to
a trunk.
518
00:49:35,050 --> 00:49:36,050
Oh, nice.
519
00:49:36,110 --> 00:49:39,890
Well, in the meantime, we can get to
know each other a little. You know, have
520
00:49:39,890 --> 00:49:42,730
a... A bonding sesh. Oh, my gosh.
521
00:49:43,070 --> 00:49:44,070
So awkward.
522
00:49:44,270 --> 00:49:48,270
Well, you know, we might have a lot in
common. You know, like, um, what's your
523
00:49:48,270 --> 00:49:49,270
fave animal?
524
00:49:49,850 --> 00:49:53,730
Mine is a narwhal. Penguins are also
different. Keep coming on to me, Mr.
525
00:49:53,830 --> 00:49:55,650
Wallace, and you'll be sorry. No warning
shots.
526
00:49:56,250 --> 00:50:00,070
I could never, ever. I'm incapable of
thinking of you that way.
527
00:50:02,390 --> 00:50:03,390
Hmm.
528
00:50:03,930 --> 00:50:05,290
It all makes sense now.
529
00:50:05,550 --> 00:50:06,550
It does.
530
00:50:06,890 --> 00:50:08,330
Right? Okay.
531
00:50:12,580 --> 00:50:16,020
Hard to believe you'd take an hour over
dial -up to get a video. Was that before
532
00:50:16,020 --> 00:50:18,760
or after your family died of cholera? Ha
ha, laugh it up.
533
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,400
One day you'll be explaining Instagram
to your cyborg children. Got any food?
534
00:50:23,060 --> 00:50:24,060
I'm starving.
535
00:50:30,620 --> 00:50:31,680
Oh, yeah.
536
00:50:31,900 --> 00:50:34,180
Well, is everyone doing steakhouse?
537
00:50:34,420 --> 00:50:37,820
Is there any aged beef that enhances the
tenderness and the flavor?
538
00:50:38,540 --> 00:50:41,060
I can't believe you're a science
teacher. I wanted to be an English
539
00:50:41,060 --> 00:50:43,500
all the positions were filled. It was a
weight lift.
540
00:50:44,180 --> 00:50:45,340
Done enough science degrees.
541
00:50:45,740 --> 00:50:46,740
Really lame.
542
00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:55,240
Maybe daddy.
543
00:50:55,660 --> 00:50:58,200
Are you maybe somebody's baby daddy, Mr.
Wallace?
544
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,000
Knock up a cheerleader back in your
swinging dick days.
545
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:17,780
No. No, this can't be happening.
546
00:51:18,100 --> 00:51:22,200
My asshole dad is my asshole dad, not
this upside down asshole.
547
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,080
There's no easy way to explain this,
Grace.
548
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:30,320
But you don't exactly look, you know,
and your dad is, you know, and you are,
549
00:51:30,420 --> 00:51:32,700
you know, and you better hold on to
something.
550
00:51:42,510 --> 00:51:46,870
years later it finally occurs to me i
might be your daughter i just thought it
551
00:51:46,870 --> 00:51:50,830
was impossible i thought that you were
conceived too late and i figured that
552
00:51:50,830 --> 00:51:54,890
half the town could be your father i
just mean that your mom probably had sex
553
00:51:54,890 --> 00:52:00,390
with a lot yeah yeah i got that thing
hey you could just think about me as
554
00:52:00,390 --> 00:52:04,590
your your cool uncle right and take you
to disney world and parenthood stop it
555
00:52:04,590 --> 00:52:09,690
i'm not some dude bro's fugitive
chromosome but but nothing you're not my
556
00:52:09,690 --> 00:52:11,830
and even if you are you never will
557
00:52:16,620 --> 00:52:17,680
No, it's not worse.
558
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:19,460
Luke, Darth, Father.
559
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,820
Please, God, say I'm not related to this
moron.
560
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,840
I didn't want this. I didn't mean for
this to happen.
561
00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:27,720
Cool. It never happened.
562
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:30,120
My cousin's on his way. Oh, cool, cool.
563
00:52:33,820 --> 00:52:36,440
You know, but... Shut up. You don't have
to talk, you know. The golden.
564
00:52:36,660 --> 00:52:37,558
Silence is gold.
565
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:38,560
But, um... Nope.
566
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:39,600
Great.
567
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:46,058
Oh, shit.
568
00:52:46,060 --> 00:52:48,600
You should leave Eastbrook and you
should change your mind about going to
569
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,860
college. Why? I'm not leaving. You
leave.
570
00:52:51,220 --> 00:52:57,480
Are you dadding me right now?
571
00:52:58,820 --> 00:53:00,600
I know it's scary to think about
leaving.
572
00:53:00,860 --> 00:53:02,680
I get that. Really, I do.
573
00:53:03,100 --> 00:53:05,540
But big cities are filled with amazing
things.
574
00:53:05,860 --> 00:53:11,200
You know, like museums and fancy
restaurants and Dave and Lester.
575
00:53:11,460 --> 00:53:12,700
You are dadding me right now.
576
00:53:13,420 --> 00:53:16,240
What do you want with a teenage daughter
anyway? We're complicated and mean.
577
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:20,420
I don't think I really have much of a
choice. Will you stop saying that?
578
00:53:20,860 --> 00:53:24,980
Look, do you really want to be the only
florist with a 1500 on her SATs?
579
00:53:26,860 --> 00:53:27,860
Look, moron.
580
00:53:29,260 --> 00:53:34,960
You can't come into my life after 18
years and suddenly claim me like a value
581
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:35,960
-backed coupon.
582
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:38,840
Where were you when I skinned my knee?
583
00:53:40,060 --> 00:53:41,340
Or when my guinea pig died?
584
00:53:43,850 --> 00:53:46,550
Boy, I like another girl to homecoming.
585
00:53:48,890 --> 00:53:51,230
You can't be Disney dad, Mr. Wallace.
586
00:53:54,310 --> 00:53:55,630
You don't know shit about me.
587
00:53:56,330 --> 00:53:59,510
And you sure as hell don't know shit
about families.
588
00:54:02,710 --> 00:54:04,890
Family is why I stayed in Eastbrook.
589
00:54:05,410 --> 00:54:07,090
Don't make the same mistake that I did,
Grace.
590
00:54:07,550 --> 00:54:11,350
You know, it took me a long time to
realize that family and Eastbrook are
591
00:54:11,350 --> 00:54:12,129
the same thing.
592
00:54:12,130 --> 00:54:13,390
In fact, Eastbrook...
593
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:15,320
Kind of sucks. How does family?
594
00:54:15,740 --> 00:54:16,740
Sometimes.
595
00:54:17,020 --> 00:54:20,800
But you know, family is kind of like a
band. And Eastbrook is like the best
596
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:21,800
of all time. The Beatles.
597
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:22,840
Creep.
598
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:26,140
It's hard to imagine a more perfect
album than Human Clay.
599
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:30,360
But then the band broke up soon after.
600
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:31,720
It always breaks up.
601
00:54:32,460 --> 00:54:33,460
But you agree?
602
00:54:33,980 --> 00:54:36,020
You are a great dad.
603
00:54:37,620 --> 00:54:41,260
Who the fuck is Ed?
604
00:54:54,090 --> 00:54:55,130
Are you kidding me, young lady?
605
00:54:55,430 --> 00:54:56,430
Shut up, Jasper.
606
00:54:56,550 --> 00:54:57,550
Mr. Waller.
607
00:55:00,910 --> 00:55:01,910
Uh,
608
00:55:03,490 --> 00:55:06,610
the mold. What? The penicillin. What are
you saying?
609
00:55:10,850 --> 00:55:14,370
Penicillin was created when mold got
into a pizza and released a toxin into
610
00:55:14,370 --> 00:55:15,590
bacteria that the scientists were going.
611
00:55:16,010 --> 00:55:17,110
Aha, I ate your poison.
612
00:55:17,370 --> 00:55:19,470
Uh, we're not working.
613
00:55:19,870 --> 00:55:20,950
Quit thinking, Dr. Science.
614
00:55:26,350 --> 00:55:27,970
I'll let it go this time, Grace, but the
cigarette?
615
00:55:28,190 --> 00:55:29,970
The ink, you idiot. Let it go.
616
00:55:38,130 --> 00:55:39,130
Plane thrower, please.
617
00:56:03,630 --> 00:56:04,630
Are you okay?
618
00:56:22,710 --> 00:56:23,730
Let's get the hell out of here.
619
00:56:27,090 --> 00:56:28,590
And stay away from my mom too.
620
00:57:27,660 --> 00:57:29,360
Dad? How's this possible?
621
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,080
The ick.
622
00:57:33,980 --> 00:57:36,820
It absorbed me into the earth all those
years ago.
623
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:49,380
This whole rotten planet is falling
apart at the seams.
624
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:53,280
The ick is the thread that will pull it
back together.
625
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:54,960
Well, good luck.
626
00:57:56,520 --> 00:58:00,000
It's going to take a lot more than some
lab -grown goo to fix all that.
627
00:58:02,020 --> 00:58:03,140
Or maybe your bacteria.
628
00:58:04,580 --> 00:58:05,580
I don't know.
629
00:58:06,980 --> 00:58:07,980
Alien.
630
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:10,340
It's a program, son.
631
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:14,300
And I'll tell you what that program is.
632
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:27,680
A program of chaos that rewrites itself,
breaks its rules, creates the
633
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:31,360
fear of the random. You will never know
how it works.
634
00:58:31,900 --> 00:58:35,940
Its goal is contradiction and confusion.
635
00:58:36,420 --> 00:58:41,880
No rhyme or reason. Because it
overwhelms. Some it devours.
636
00:58:42,740 --> 00:58:45,040
Some it resurrects.
637
00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:48,000
You will ignore it.
638
00:58:57,759 --> 00:58:59,820
It can fix anything, son.
639
00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:02,440
Anything.
640
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:05,320
It can even fix that lady, to be honest.
641
00:59:31,850 --> 00:59:34,230
About last minute, okay? Not your first
swing and miss.
642
00:59:35,690 --> 00:59:38,270
But I want to know if my number's aired
the way it was in there.
643
00:59:39,130 --> 00:59:40,130
Injured from what?
644
00:59:42,010 --> 00:59:43,430
The ape attacked me.
645
00:59:44,490 --> 00:59:46,270
Okay. The ape attacked everyone.
646
00:59:51,970 --> 00:59:58,870
The very best
647
00:59:58,870 --> 01:00:00,150
moments of our life were on this field.
648
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:06,580
and the very worst dreams of going to
college nfl owning a mansion in beverly
649
01:00:06,580 --> 01:00:13,400
hills vacation how fran in a series of
viagra commercials wearing a
650
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:19,400
flannel chopping wood for crystal blue
lake and you
651
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:25,300
i lost it all right here don't be so
dramatic
652
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:30,320
Is Grace my daughter?
653
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:31,640
What?
654
01:00:31,860 --> 01:00:32,860
No.
655
01:00:33,100 --> 01:00:34,880
Is that why you dragged me out here?
656
01:00:35,620 --> 01:00:36,900
Faithy, just wait, please.
657
01:01:17,580 --> 01:01:19,720
Grace, don't ever think my death is your
fault.
658
01:01:20,380 --> 01:01:21,860
I've wanted this for a long time.
659
01:01:23,980 --> 01:01:26,080
Consider me a cautionary tale.
660
01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:28,500
I don't repeat my mistakes.
661
01:01:29,900 --> 01:01:31,420
Find happiness wherever you can.
662
01:01:32,460 --> 01:01:33,460
Grab it.
663
01:01:34,820 --> 01:01:35,980
And never let go.
664
01:02:09,180 --> 01:02:10,180
Frickin' Ken.
665
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:22,580
Hello, Eastbrook High!
666
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:26,940
We're gonna start this night off right.
This next song takes you back to 2002.
667
01:02:27,980 --> 01:02:30,060
Mary Gilson recorded her first disc
tape.
668
01:02:30,580 --> 01:02:32,380
America's still real in 9 -11.
669
01:02:33,260 --> 01:02:34,260
Never forget!
670
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:37,200
What a prick.
671
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:38,520
9 -11.
672
01:02:39,430 --> 01:02:40,430
Next turn.
673
01:02:43,390 --> 01:02:47,590
You think maybe we should barricade the
doors, you know, into the ick? The
674
01:02:47,590 --> 01:02:48,710
government will take care of it.
675
01:02:48,930 --> 01:02:50,750
The ick is an agent of natural
selection.
676
01:02:51,130 --> 01:02:54,890
Next generation is going to be faster,
smarter, probably get some good
677
01:02:54,890 --> 01:02:55,890
cornerbacks out of it.
678
01:03:04,430 --> 01:03:07,190
This next joint is for all the lovers
out there.
679
01:03:08,270 --> 01:03:10,130
who saw your parents deceive you to.
680
01:03:10,530 --> 01:03:12,130
Maybe the rubber broke.
681
01:03:12,570 --> 01:03:14,670
Maybe there was no rubber.
682
01:03:18,150 --> 01:03:18,729
Heather,
683
01:03:18,730 --> 01:03:30,810
ask
684
01:03:30,810 --> 01:03:31,810
him to dance now.
685
01:03:34,730 --> 01:03:36,650
Would you like to? I'd love to.
686
01:03:42,930 --> 01:03:43,930
What?
687
01:03:44,150 --> 01:03:45,150
I'm staying here.
688
01:03:45,350 --> 01:03:47,510
I want to be with you forever.
689
01:03:56,570 --> 01:03:57,810
Goddamn, this song rips.
690
01:04:51,980 --> 01:04:54,420
Ted, you gotta get out of here. No can
do, buddy.
691
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:58,040
Gotta make sure the kids do Dairy Queen
and get home safe. That's an EDM outfit,
692
01:04:58,120 --> 01:04:59,120
isn't it?
693
01:05:01,980 --> 01:05:03,780
Ted, the ick is coming.
694
01:05:04,060 --> 01:05:05,060
The ick?
695
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:06,320
It's already here.
696
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:08,360
That's nice. Where will we go?
697
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:09,780
It's everywhere else, too.
698
01:05:10,620 --> 01:05:13,320
Ted, let's get my daughter to the ick.
699
01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:16,160
You're the daughter?
700
01:05:18,980 --> 01:05:19,980
Maybe.
701
01:06:02,570 --> 01:06:03,570
Oh,
702
01:06:06,770 --> 01:06:10,050
damn it. The windows are new. Screw you,
Mercedes.
703
01:06:10,610 --> 01:06:11,610
I'll break your glass.
704
01:06:16,370 --> 01:06:20,210
You threw it in three.
705
01:06:20,470 --> 01:06:21,470
Oh, Mercedes.
706
01:06:21,790 --> 01:06:22,729
Look, Hank.
707
01:06:22,730 --> 01:06:23,730
About three.
708
01:06:31,020 --> 01:06:32,020
Get police!
709
01:07:17,950 --> 01:07:21,030
developed. America needs its traditions.
710
01:07:37,089 --> 01:07:39,670
Don't you love me? I'm doing a thing in
Eastbrook for you.
711
01:07:40,610 --> 01:07:41,610
Dylan.
712
01:07:41,930 --> 01:07:42,930
Right, babe.
713
01:07:43,590 --> 01:07:44,890
We need to fix this town.
714
01:07:45,210 --> 01:07:46,490
Don't run from it. No.
715
01:07:47,650 --> 01:07:48,730
Are you serious?
716
01:07:50,070 --> 01:07:54,490
Frank, don't have sex with him. Are you
serious? You can have sex with a million
717
01:07:54,490 --> 01:07:57,250
men if that's what you want. Not? Not
with him, okay? He is it.
718
01:07:58,790 --> 01:08:01,750
The old white guy saving the virginity
of a helpless female?
719
01:08:03,230 --> 01:08:05,170
Really? I'm okay with it.
720
01:08:07,270 --> 01:08:08,570
That's Smash Mouth Football, kid.
721
01:08:09,710 --> 01:08:10,710
Sorry about your bra.
722
01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:46,130
We want you to have a meaningful, safe
relationship with the boys, you know?
723
01:08:46,790 --> 01:08:48,330
So not the time for this talk.
724
01:08:48,649 --> 01:08:51,710
They say we're infected, but I'll tell
you, it's kind of worse.
725
01:08:59,149 --> 01:09:00,149
Inside.
726
01:09:49,460 --> 01:09:50,620
Hey, kid.
727
01:09:50,979 --> 01:09:52,340
That might sting a little.
728
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:13,560
You know what your problem is, Dylan?
729
01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:16,160
You're a phony.
730
01:10:16,500 --> 01:10:18,260
You haven't read half the shit you
quote.
731
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:22,300
You summarize from Wikipedia and we'll
look at it like a weapon.
732
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:26,020
You're a sad, pathetic asshole without
an original thought.
733
01:10:27,220 --> 01:10:28,680
You're just like everyone else.
734
01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:39,500
I need to tell you something. Yeah, I
know. You might be my dad. You told me
735
01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:40,500
already. No.
736
01:10:42,040 --> 01:10:43,160
It's about you real parents.
737
01:10:43,380 --> 01:10:46,220
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
We're gonna die.
738
01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:48,360
Not here. Where?
739
01:10:49,240 --> 01:10:50,860
No, I mean, we're leaving Eastbrook.
740
01:10:53,420 --> 01:10:54,420
Why?
741
01:10:54,680 --> 01:10:55,680
You and me.
742
01:10:57,980 --> 01:10:58,980
And the regular monkey.
743
01:11:14,830 --> 01:11:15,830
Go!
744
01:11:55,980 --> 01:11:57,460
Feels like the heartbreak will never
end.
745
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:01,340
But, um, I'm here for you, Grace.
746
01:12:06,540 --> 01:12:08,280
Heather! Griffin! You're a couple!
747
01:12:09,860 --> 01:12:10,860
Let's move.
748
01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:15,720
All right.
749
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:17,300
Better get out of here. Find some place.
750
01:12:19,420 --> 01:12:21,700
Paladin. Stadium lights emit UV
radiation.
751
01:12:22,140 --> 01:12:25,420
Not as much as the sun or a black light,
but hopefully enough to keep us.
752
01:12:26,900 --> 01:12:27,900
Harm yourselves.
753
01:12:28,300 --> 01:12:29,300
Whatever you can carry.
754
01:12:29,660 --> 01:12:30,960
Get ready for a fight!
755
01:12:32,780 --> 01:12:33,780
Come on.
756
01:12:34,300 --> 01:12:35,540
You could have just opened it.
757
01:12:36,100 --> 01:12:38,640
I mean, that was super dramatic and all,
but... Now I have to crawl over broken
758
01:12:38,640 --> 01:12:39,640
glass.
759
01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:06,318
Pack the wires.
760
01:13:06,320 --> 01:13:07,320
Put all the switches.
761
01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:10,420
Where are you going? I have to go back
out. Turn on the circuit breakers.
762
01:13:10,460 --> 01:13:12,020
Without them, there's no power flowing
to the halogens.
763
01:13:13,820 --> 01:13:14,820
Good luck.
764
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:27,340
That was super weird.
765
01:13:27,580 --> 01:13:28,438
Are you Mr.
766
01:13:28,440 --> 01:13:29,880
Wallace? It's complicated.
767
01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:31,240
None of my business.
768
01:13:31,980 --> 01:13:32,980
You can do better.
769
01:15:11,790 --> 01:15:12,790
Hi, sweetie.
770
01:15:12,830 --> 01:15:14,230
It's time to join.
771
01:15:14,470 --> 01:15:15,670
We're mommy and daddy.
772
01:16:31,050 --> 01:16:33,810
You all right? I can't, you know,
relatively.
773
01:16:34,270 --> 01:16:35,270
Come to the line!
774
01:16:44,590 --> 01:16:47,210
I want it to be over. He's dead. He
should be at peace.
775
01:16:48,250 --> 01:16:49,250
It's not him, Grace.
776
01:16:50,370 --> 01:16:51,370
Everything's going to be okay.
777
01:17:02,580 --> 01:17:08,580
What's going on? The egg pulled out the
ground under the lights and... We have
778
01:17:08,580 --> 01:17:09,580
to go!
779
01:17:13,320 --> 01:17:14,320
Higher ground.
780
01:18:43,760 --> 01:18:44,659
What are you doing?
781
01:18:44,660 --> 01:18:45,660
We can make it!
782
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:42,240
I've been tipping them forever.
783
01:22:12,139 --> 01:22:13,760
Grace, I need to tell you something.
784
01:22:16,140 --> 01:22:18,720
Whether or not you're my actual
daughter, I'm so proud of you.
785
01:22:24,120 --> 01:22:30,160
I'm so glad that you're in my life.
786
01:23:11,500 --> 01:23:12,640
Are we done now, or?
787
01:23:13,980 --> 01:23:14,980
Hey!
788
01:23:15,500 --> 01:23:16,760
High school okay?
789
01:23:17,960 --> 01:23:19,220
Definitely not.
790
01:23:20,300 --> 01:23:22,200
Y 'all hear what happened to
Gigglesburg?
791
01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:23,960
Damn close.
792
01:23:24,260 --> 01:23:25,980
Old town was washed away.
793
01:23:26,360 --> 01:23:27,360
Dang.
794
01:23:27,940 --> 01:23:28,940
Gigglesburg.
795
01:23:30,420 --> 01:23:31,420
What now?
796
01:24:11,790 --> 01:24:12,790
How's the new job?
797
01:24:13,770 --> 01:24:15,150
Lucrative. Yeah.
798
01:24:15,510 --> 01:24:18,090
Turns out all the economy needed was
mass suffering.
799
01:24:20,390 --> 01:24:21,390
I'm leaving.
800
01:24:22,490 --> 01:24:23,490
Yeah.
801
01:24:23,930 --> 01:24:24,930
I figured.
802
01:24:25,790 --> 01:24:28,050
After all this time, I still don't know
what to call you.
803
01:24:28,610 --> 01:24:29,610
Mr. Wallace.
804
01:24:30,270 --> 01:24:32,230
Dad. Don't say teach.
805
01:24:33,350 --> 01:24:35,570
Well, technically, we still don't know.
806
01:24:35,770 --> 01:24:36,870
Maybe it's better not to know.
807
01:24:37,690 --> 01:24:38,690
Yeah.
808
01:24:38,890 --> 01:24:39,890
Maybe it's not.
809
01:24:40,650 --> 01:24:42,430
Like father, like maybe daughter.
810
01:24:42,990 --> 01:24:43,990
Hey, hey.
811
01:24:44,310 --> 01:24:46,010
I knew you'd be here.
812
01:24:46,450 --> 01:24:51,310
Got something for you. All right. Oh,
come on. I'll be playing football.
813
01:24:51,790 --> 01:24:52,790
I was a quarterback.
814
01:24:53,090 --> 01:24:54,530
The government's in turmoil.
815
01:24:54,830 --> 01:24:56,590
Nobody's seen the president in two
months.
816
01:24:56,970 --> 01:24:59,310
And yet, the mailman delivers.
817
01:24:59,630 --> 01:25:01,010
Neither rain, nor sleep, nor ick.
818
01:25:06,750 --> 01:25:07,770
I mailed it in.
819
01:25:09,310 --> 01:25:10,310
Great.
820
01:25:11,280 --> 01:25:12,280
You ready?
821
01:25:14,160 --> 01:25:15,160
No.
822
01:25:16,200 --> 01:25:17,200
But what the hell.
823
01:25:18,100 --> 01:25:19,100
Let's open it anyway.
58919
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