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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:24,990 Wallens! What are you waiting on? A trail of rose petals, princess? 2 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,630 Let's go! We got a game to win! 3 00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:29,410 Get your head out of here! 4 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:43,910 Quickly come and go! 5 00:00:46,370 --> 00:00:47,370 I'm big! 6 00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:52,970 I'll take me with you for all that jazz, the NFL, to a giant mansion with a 7 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,030 giant pool that has a fat hot tub that's connected to this giant pool so I can 8 00:00:56,030 --> 00:00:57,410 swim from hot to cold whenever I want. 9 00:00:57,950 --> 00:00:58,950 Yes. 10 00:00:59,590 --> 00:01:00,590 Crazy. 11 00:01:04,129 --> 00:01:05,430 It holds ten songs. 12 00:01:06,430 --> 00:01:07,770 I put all my favorites on it. 13 00:01:33,199 --> 00:01:34,420 Let us change your life, kid. 14 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,740 Our little secret. 15 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,720 We can move across the whole country. 16 00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:43,340 I only have Peacebrook twice, please. 17 00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:47,540 Once for a game in Wigglesburg, and then once in Wigglesburg by accident. 18 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:48,840 Where? 19 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,260 I should probably mark Wigglesburg better. 20 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,840 Son, let me tell you a little story about the Beatles. 21 00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:58,880 They played about 250 shows, and all this little shit was in and around the 22 00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,880 of Hamburg. 23 00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:01,140 And you know how they became? 24 00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:02,710 The biggest band in the world. 25 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:05,810 In fact, they left him. 26 00:02:13,930 --> 00:02:14,930 Hey, 27 00:02:22,070 --> 00:02:23,710 why don't you go dance with Ted Kim? 28 00:02:24,450 --> 00:02:25,670 Are you serious? 29 00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:27,910 Yeah. Feel free. 30 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,720 American needs a tradition. 31 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,380 Behold the ancient one. 32 00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:23,600 Jane Morrison said I've had more holes filled in her grandpa's bowling ball. 33 00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:25,160 Take me home. Yeah. 34 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,720 I always do that because, um, you know, I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm a 35 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,280 little, I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm a little, 36 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:36,460 I'm a little, I'm a little, 37 00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:22,130 himself together on this drive. He will need this W against Middlesburg. 38 00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:23,410 And break. 39 00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:28,570 Oh, awful! 40 00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:31,470 Wallace is trembling. 41 00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:16,510 that we're not fighting could it be that we have been this way before 42 00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:13,070 a unique structure that's been apart from other single -celled organisms. 43 00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:21,730 Hello, my old friend. 44 00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:28,410 Living in the past, Hank? 45 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:33,030 You were a bright kid, even if you didn't apply yourself. 46 00:07:34,810 --> 00:07:37,250 I bet there's a lot more you could offer Eastbrook High. 47 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:56,710 your preconceptions about bacterial reproduction because most of it's 48 00:07:56,710 --> 00:08:02,850 which you know you kids should all be you know until true love or whatever 49 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:09,070 um and use protection okay 50 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:13,330 let's see what kind of nasty bugs live in our mouths we just need everybody to 51 00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:19,710 spit in that's what your mom said hey come on guys phone's away 52 00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:22,620 Mr. Wallace? 53 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,100 Yeah, Grace? 54 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,520 What's on our phones is important. 55 00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,880 Why aren't we talking about the egg? 56 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,079 Okay, great. 57 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,120 Let's talk about the egg. 58 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,820 There's no origin story for egg. 59 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,440 Didn't watch it arrive on a meteor or sneak from a government lab. 60 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,059 It's just here. 61 00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:42,240 First, we hardly noticed. 62 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:44,580 But each day, year by year, it kept growing. 63 00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:46,760 Doesn't move, at least we don't think. 64 00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:49,880 It's stationary as a plant, growing, spreading slowly. 65 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,390 It's omnipresent, but not bothersome enough that cars can't drive down the 66 00:08:53,390 --> 00:08:55,570 street. People can't go about their usual routines. 67 00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:59,830 Most boats use to ignore the vehicle together, hoping it just goes away. 68 00:09:00,150 --> 00:09:02,490 Especially with room of swirling that's starting to attack. 69 00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:05,110 All right. 70 00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,730 Bring up computer technicians on the desk, please. 71 00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:09,910 Have a good day. 72 00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:13,310 Agreed. 73 00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:16,370 How's your mom? 74 00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:19,410 Fine, Mr. Wallace. 75 00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:21,309 That's good. 76 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,310 That's good. 77 00:09:22,370 --> 00:09:23,370 How's your mom? 78 00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:25,710 Dead. 79 00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:30,370 Despite protests by the school safety officer, this year's prompt theme is 80 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:34,450 millennial. Get in the problematic spirit by only convincing the 2000s 81 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:38,270 Did you see Charlie's TikTok about how the egg is scary gluten? 82 00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:39,369 What's gluten? 83 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,370 Check it out, Jasmine. 84 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,430 Straight up video of the asteroid that brought the egg. That's the scene from 85 00:09:43,430 --> 00:09:46,430 the movie Armageddon. We have to take this problem seriously, not turn it into 86 00:09:46,430 --> 00:09:47,430 meme. Look. 87 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,020 The ick is just frankenfoo GMOs that feed from Monsanto Lab. 88 00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:55,240 That's why I only eat organic. 89 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,640 Bro! 90 00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,220 Cultural appropriate much? 91 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:04,300 I'm a 64th Cherokee with receipts, and I'm telling you, J. Guava wouldn't 92 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,980 approve of your capitalistic colonial mindset, son. 93 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,240 Come on. 94 00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:09,600 Almost lost my appetite. 95 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,360 This bookmaking reminds us all to avoid the growth of the ick in the Western... 96 00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:20,340 will not be tolerated. 97 00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:24,440 Will ick affect the primary? We're joined now by our political panel. 98 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:29,080 the ick disproportionately affects black and brown voters. Well, I heard the ick 99 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,080 started in China. 100 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,140 Bad eating weirdos. 101 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,840 Maybe the government will send a team to help clean it up. 102 00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:35,920 Well, we're definitely not getting any help from people. 103 00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:37,660 Hola, Mr. Hunt. 104 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,420 Hola, Senora Diaz. 105 00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:41,620 Mi abuela. 106 00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:46,820 She's, um, how do you say bruja? Your grandma likes to make beer? 107 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,740 It's coming from the ick worshipping leftist couple. You kidding me? 108 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:56,280 Bruja is a witch. Mi abuela bruja says the ick is the ick from the god. You're 109 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,380 all in for another one. 110 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,920 The ick won't save us until we have it. 111 00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:03,200 It's vicious. 112 00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:05,500 Are you scared of my boots? 113 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,320 No, I wasn't. That is so inappropriate. 114 00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:08,680 You're a stranger. 115 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:09,840 You're kidding me again. 116 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:11,600 The ick does not move, mi amor. 117 00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:13,020 Well, I know what I saw. 118 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,300 On the American border, it's government overreach. Well, you're right, 119 00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:22,800 especially when the data is clear that vitamin D is an effective... Oh, my God, 120 00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:23,719 I'm pregnant. 121 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,560 Have some class, you piece of shit. 122 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,320 Well, 123 00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,940 Griffin, if he takes you to prom, you'll let him play with your boots. 124 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,860 Okay. Wait, what? No. You want to spend another summer doing steampunk cosplay 125 00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:39,260 at the Ren Faire? How are we friends? 126 00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:42,860 Hi. 127 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,480 Hey. 128 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,580 You should have drawn. 129 00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:50,770 Wow, that's really good. 130 00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:53,630 What kind of monkey is that? 131 00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:58,370 Uh, it's a regular monkey. 132 00:11:59,190 --> 00:12:00,190 Huh. 133 00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:02,730 I'll let you play with my... 134 00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:21,700 That's racist. 135 00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:26,980 Attaboy. 136 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,080 I'm bored. 137 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,700 Is the egg gonna do anything? 138 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,920 It's been here, like, two months. 139 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,640 Jocelyn, the egg's been here for years. 140 00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:40,340 Huh. I guess I just never really noticed what it's doing here. What's anything 141 00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:41,340 doing here? 142 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,480 Don't suck. 143 00:12:44,060 --> 00:12:45,060 Hey! 144 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,900 You girls smoking? No. 145 00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:27,810 I wrote a new poem, Industrial Love Sink, number three. 146 00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:29,930 Going for that Ginsburg vibe. 147 00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:33,210 I mean, it's what I was. 148 00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:37,430 We're on, like, 13 seconds, so I don't, like, care or anything. 149 00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:41,590 But I'll probably minor a poetry when I get to Oval next year. 150 00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:42,749 I'm not going. 151 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:46,370 Hey, what, you're going to get off the wait list? A wait list is a slow motion 152 00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:47,770 swipe left of college admissions. 153 00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:50,230 I'm not leaving Eastbrook. I'm staying here. 154 00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:53,810 Just want to... Girl fat and old eating bill -beated sandwiches like the rest of 155 00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:56,110 the proletariat. She'll pay off with my parents. 156 00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:12,210 Hank, heaven knows I hate to jinx a sale, but doesn't it seem kind of stupid 157 00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:17,530 a young lady to buy these eggs off? 158 00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:22,210 Honey. He's smarter than you look. 159 00:14:22,430 --> 00:14:23,430 Thanks. 160 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,410 Thanks. Do you guys think the egg is in the plumbing and we're all drinking it? 161 00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:27,890 Probably. Congratulations. 162 00:14:28,190 --> 00:14:29,109 Thanks. Cool. 163 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,370 Thank you. Are we done? Can we go home now? Don't be rude. 164 00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:35,550 Grace has been down in the dumps ever since she got weightless to that 165 00:14:35,650 --> 00:14:36,269 Thanks, Dad. 166 00:14:36,270 --> 00:14:39,770 Tell the world what a loser I am. There is no shame here. 167 00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:46,630 As an Asian American, Grace had to score 150 points higher on the SAT than her 168 00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:48,090 Caucasian counterpart. 169 00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:51,560 Just to be considered for the same Ivy League. Now she wants to skip college 170 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,200 entirely. Yes, Ferris. Tell me more about me. 171 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,100 Delaying life never really works out. 172 00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,860 That's why we see the dentist every six months. 173 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,880 Sage wisdom from your totes fave teach. 174 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:06,740 Mrs. Brown is my totes fave teach. Mrs. Brown has swinging gums. Grace is a 175 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:11,280 Capricorn. January 10th, she hates unmet goals. January? No, Grace is born in 176 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:12,280 February. Grace? 177 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,620 Grace, are you not applying? 178 00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:22,710 Don't tell Ted. 179 00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,190 We're closed. 180 00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:27,650 December. November. 181 00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:29,310 October. Fish. 182 00:15:29,590 --> 00:15:31,030 Mercury. Rice. 183 00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:32,710 Carved. Chinese. 184 00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:37,990 MSG. All Asian food will kill you, hon. Or Asian. Done. 185 00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:39,210 I don't think so. 186 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:46,830 I don't think that Asian food is so bad. 187 00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:48,930 You know? 188 00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:50,290 Reddit. 189 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,720 Shoot, well, you never know. 190 00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:09,440 So I said to the salesman, this doesn't look like Mojave Ivory Metallic to me. 191 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,460 And he said, Ted, you've got a real nose for detail. 192 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:19,100 This is Iridium Ivory Metallic. And since we filed up and sold the Mojave 193 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:23,600 Metallic to a poke dealer in Wickelsburg, you can have the Iridium 194 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:28,520 Metallic intended for him with full bulletproof UV protected windows. 195 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,220 And no extra charge. 196 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,180 Louis Vuitton pepper spray. 197 00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:36,480 For you to send off handsy college boys. 198 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,900 Oh, please, don't get me into it. Think about what you're saying for just one 199 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,640 goddamn second, Mom. 200 00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:48,040 Great. Wouldn't you agree you need to invest in your future? Sweetheart, Dr. 201 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,700 Kirk asked you to stop lecturing in the form of a question. Darling, do you 202 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:52,760 recall Dr. 203 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:57,220 Kirk asking you to recognize my need to process information? 204 00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:58,699 My way? 205 00:16:58,700 --> 00:16:59,900 That's wonderful, dear. 206 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:04,040 It's delightful having an expert's opinion on your compulsive need for 207 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:08,579 toys. Angel, Dr. Kirk says my desire for beautiful things is 208 00:17:08,579 --> 00:17:12,160 natural and healthy. 209 00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:15,040 Oh, well, I hope your car doesn't turn into a pumpkin. 210 00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:16,420 Jesus! 211 00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:19,579 Stop nice fighting. 212 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,220 Who cares about tans and luxury cars? There's a monster on the lawn. 213 00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,300 Monster swing? 214 00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:28,390 Ha ha ha! 215 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:43,250 Fascinating, Captain. 216 00:18:50,490 --> 00:18:51,610 All right, Hank. 217 00:18:52,150 --> 00:18:53,150 Go time. 218 00:19:01,510 --> 00:19:06,350 Live from NYC, the East Challenge. 219 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:10,330 What the hell? Despite the viral TikTok trend sweeping America, school health 220 00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:14,630 officials ask you to do not lick the ick. And for the love of God, do not 221 00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:15,630 the ick. 222 00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:20,270 This is what we in the industry call a kick -ass letter of recommendation from 223 00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:22,230 your toad sex -babe teach. 224 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:24,710 I'm supposed to enjoy this. 225 00:19:27,170 --> 00:19:30,430 Grace, no, it's a, it's a, it helps you get off the wait list. 226 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,550 My parents must be super desperate to talk you into this. 227 00:19:34,650 --> 00:19:37,290 Grayson, you know the Beatles, right? The Beatles? 228 00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:41,150 The Beatles spent three years in Hamburg, okay? 229 00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:44,270 But do you know how they became the best band in the world? They had a unique 230 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:47,090 dual songwriting team in Lennon and McCartney that accepted constructive 231 00:19:47,090 --> 00:19:50,770 criticism resulting in albums with few fillers alongside innovative marketing 232 00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:52,610 with concept albums and music videos. 233 00:19:52,910 --> 00:19:53,910 That's good. 234 00:19:54,710 --> 00:19:56,470 Grayson, you have so much potential. 235 00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:59,390 That's the polite way of saying I'm not good enough the way I am. 236 00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:02,710 Y 'all do. 237 00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:04,420 You're old. 238 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,560 The participants for the non -binary rally for Haiti and the Kill Oak Rumors 239 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,660 bake sale must stay 50 yards away from each other. Ranger in my place tonight. 240 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,820 Big roast behind booze. Pass it on. 241 00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:19,360 Hey. You know, Sophia, I've been practicing my Spanish. 242 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,540 And, uh, maybe you might tutor me. Paquito. 243 00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:26,660 Paquito. 244 00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:32,260 Quiero montar esta noche. 245 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,080 And Mikuri. 246 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,760 Lucio! Do you use those filthy words to seduce Red King? 247 00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:39,140 Oh, yeah. 248 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,820 Cochin! Cochin! 249 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:42,920 Cochin! 250 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,560 I know you're still alive. 251 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:36,020 Okay, long time friend, but uh, bar's not even open yet. 252 00:22:27,470 --> 00:22:28,470 I'm gonna call you doctor, alright? 253 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:46,200 Drink deep this nectar of the dogs. Fear not the plague. Use a rubber. 254 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,820 Bro, you gotta tell me which of these bitches are legal. 255 00:23:49,460 --> 00:23:55,720 Sarah Q, Ashley P, Pia, Tara, Mackenzie G, Mackenzie F, Tori, Zoe, Amber, 256 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:56,880 Kelsey. 257 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,080 Why does Mr. Wallace even give a shit anyway? 258 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,360 Who does he think he is? 259 00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:04,619 Maybe she's had enough. 260 00:24:04,620 --> 00:24:05,620 I'm fine. 261 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,940 Why don't you go find Heather? She's madly in love with you. 262 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:19,600 Don't be a slob. 263 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,559 Hey, guys. 264 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,560 Guys. 265 00:24:22,780 --> 00:24:23,780 Hey, Wallace. 266 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:28,180 Ah, man. Guys, you won't believe it. I can't even explain it. There was a crash 267 00:24:28,180 --> 00:24:29,159 and a man. 268 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,860 What the heck? What the heck? 269 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,720 What the heck is wrong? 270 00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:40,300 Hey, why don't you take a ride with us? We're about to bust up a high school 271 00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:41,660 kicker at the Hobart boys' house. 272 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:42,880 Steal their beer. 273 00:24:42,980 --> 00:24:44,160 Party like we're 18 again. 274 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,060 We even brought an old friend. 275 00:24:46,340 --> 00:24:47,340 B .O. 276 00:24:48,159 --> 00:24:49,520 The ancient one. 277 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,680 Oh, well, 278 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,800 we did have fun back in the day, boys, but I'm going to have to say that I'm a 279 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,940 little too old for that these days. 280 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:04,000 And you know, just saying this as a friend, sometimes you got to admit when 281 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,000 have a problem. 282 00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:10,900 I'm afraid we cannot allow you to be such a wet blanket. The old Hank Wallace 283 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,080 was a dope bro. 284 00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:17,910 What's with all this wee, wee, wee, wee, wee? He never turned down the 285 00:25:17,910 --> 00:25:20,310 opportunity to get turned up. 286 00:25:20,790 --> 00:25:22,610 Not a lot of the old Hank left these days, boys. 287 00:25:22,810 --> 00:25:26,630 But we've got a big surprise for you, Hanky. 288 00:25:28,930 --> 00:25:30,170 And that's for your house. 289 00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:52,660 Thank you for watching! 290 00:26:38,860 --> 00:26:44,320 Pretty sure you dicks are possessed. Possessed is an ugly word for such a 291 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:45,320 beautiful experience. 292 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:50,360 The X's are valued. We were chosen for those it does not value. 293 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,980 It consumes. 294 00:27:04,940 --> 00:27:08,060 It's overwhelming and... 295 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,460 numbing at the same time. 296 00:27:11,180 --> 00:27:12,180 Yeah. 297 00:27:13,020 --> 00:27:14,780 That's why we gotta leave Eastbrook. 298 00:27:15,420 --> 00:27:16,800 Eastbrook? No. 299 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,100 I'm talking about the ick. 300 00:27:19,460 --> 00:27:21,160 I think the ick is watching us. 301 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,060 Did you see Celeste is rocking cornrows on Insta? 302 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:26,680 Someone has to stop her. 303 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,700 Isn't a joke, Dylan. 304 00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:30,620 No. It isn't, Grace. 305 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,880 Cultural colonialism is literal violence. 306 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:36,980 The ick never stole the hair of my people. 307 00:27:39,690 --> 00:27:40,690 I'm gonna go make the rounds. 308 00:28:25,550 --> 00:28:28,510 Listen to me. The cops are coming to break up the party at Hobart. If you're 309 00:28:28,510 --> 00:28:29,510 there, you need to leave now. 310 00:28:29,810 --> 00:28:34,470 Hey, you're in danger. And in case I never see you again, I need you to know 311 00:28:34,470 --> 00:28:37,910 that I... I might be your dad. 312 00:28:38,150 --> 00:28:43,090 Hey, oh, we had sex that one time, and trust me, you ain't nobody's dad, okay? 313 00:28:43,510 --> 00:28:46,630 Didn't you say you were moving to camp? This is not... This is gross. 314 00:28:47,030 --> 00:28:50,110 Yeah, this is not a good time. I gotta go. I'm in here. 315 00:29:15,830 --> 00:29:17,910 Thanks for saying you liked my monkey. 316 00:29:19,890 --> 00:29:21,050 Your regular monkey? 317 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,380 All right Dorothy, turn right behind you. 318 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,680 They get killing people and eating them alive. 319 00:31:28,940 --> 00:31:30,460 Everyone has to get to safety. 320 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:40,080 Mr. Wallace, I know a man who could use a beer when I see one. God damn it. 321 00:31:40,460 --> 00:31:42,000 You kids all want to be zombies? 322 00:31:42,420 --> 00:31:45,420 And not the cool, sexy kind like in Harry Potter? 323 00:31:45,740 --> 00:31:46,780 Take it rolling, thug. 324 00:31:47,580 --> 00:31:49,540 I'm talking the demonic, soulless type. 325 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,080 Great, great. 326 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:54,560 Get out of here. We gotta go. What the hell? 327 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,160 Herbie meant to offer. 328 00:31:56,929 --> 00:32:00,050 Look, Dylan, I don't expect you to understand. 329 00:32:00,390 --> 00:32:04,210 I just have to get her out of here at some grace. Oh, I get it. 330 00:32:04,630 --> 00:32:06,810 Screwed the mom, now you gotta screw the daughter. 331 00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:08,850 That's some real Freudian noise. 332 00:32:09,270 --> 00:32:10,270 Weird old damn. 333 00:32:10,510 --> 00:32:11,990 Hey, don't be ableist. 334 00:32:12,210 --> 00:32:16,650 Okay. Look, just because you threw a ball a billion years ago doesn't make 335 00:32:16,650 --> 00:32:21,290 special. I can throw a ball, and when I'm gone, someone else will throw a 336 00:32:21,890 --> 00:32:22,910 Nothing means nothing. 337 00:32:29,260 --> 00:32:30,260 Grace, please. 338 00:32:38,820 --> 00:32:40,860 Get lost, loser. 339 00:32:41,900 --> 00:32:44,920 Get lost, loser. Get lost, loser. 340 00:32:45,180 --> 00:32:46,540 Get lost, loser. 341 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:07,200 I'll boo it right when it was just getting good. 342 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,100 That's gotta hurt. 343 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:17,380 I think the way Jason 344 00:33:17,380 --> 00:33:19,560 talks to you is totally misogynistic. 345 00:33:19,940 --> 00:33:21,400 I mean, calling you a hoe. 346 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:26,240 Personally, I don't see gender, but if I did, I would worship women. 347 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,740 That doesn't make any sense. 348 00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:31,840 Gender binary doesn't make sense, baby. 349 00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:47,780 I don't need to do all the patriarchy to keep women oppressed and survive. 350 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:49,960 Now let's get involved. 351 00:34:03,150 --> 00:34:05,050 I'm gonna bang a teenager, stud. 352 00:34:45,610 --> 00:34:47,670 How much are you going to miss all these knuckleheads after you graduate? 353 00:34:48,230 --> 00:34:54,170 Well, my favorite French modernist, my fellow shard, said, 354 00:34:54,350 --> 00:34:58,010 we give each other memories when we leave each other. 355 00:35:00,530 --> 00:35:02,770 Yeah, I have no idea what you just said. 356 00:35:04,990 --> 00:35:09,790 And that is why you are the coolest girl in Eastbrook. 357 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:28,120 I'm not falling for that again. I think I'm going to Picklesburg next weekend. 358 00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:29,420 I've never been. 359 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:39,440 It's a Capuchin. 360 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:43,040 What? My regular monkey. 361 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:45,180 Called Capuchin. 362 00:35:46,620 --> 00:35:47,620 I like that. 363 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:03,820 Ew, are you eating dairy again? 364 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:05,078 That wasn't me. 365 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,080 W, is someone watching you tinkle? 366 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,280 Listen up, scum -suck. 367 00:36:10,540 --> 00:36:13,100 Exposing pedos is extremely un - 368 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:34,680 I'm sorry I called you a hoe. 369 00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:49,300 Thank you. 370 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,480 And secure the mayor. Get those kids someplace safe. 371 00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:39,040 Instead of command center. 372 00:39:39,860 --> 00:39:43,720 Hey, what's the most important location in this town? 373 00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,200 Thank you all for being here. 374 00:40:01,460 --> 00:40:03,980 My name is Dr. Althea Prentiss. 375 00:40:04,300 --> 00:40:09,300 and I am in charge of the federal response in this state. Now, the 376 00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:13,380 spoken to your mayor, and we have been ordered out of Eastbrook to our main 377 00:40:13,380 --> 00:40:18,400 mission. We are not abandoning Eastbrook. I'm leaving behind a 378 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,460 fortify this building. 379 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,440 I suggest that you stay inside there. 380 00:40:22,980 --> 00:40:25,700 You cannot help me if you go out there. Thank you. 381 00:40:26,780 --> 00:40:30,020 What could be more important than the taxpayers of Eastbrook? 382 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,640 We're headed to Wickelsburg to protect your hydroelectric dam. 383 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,920 Wickelsburg. Here's what we know so far. 384 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:45,180 After decades in stasis, the intracellular hypoplasm known as ICK has 385 00:40:45,180 --> 00:40:47,960 reached its kinetic phase. 386 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:53,640 How long will that last? We don't know for certain, but we are estimating 387 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,160 four to eight years. 388 00:40:59,980 --> 00:41:03,520 So please, people, listen to me, listen to me. The government cannot save you 389 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:08,100 right now, okay? We simply do not have the resources, not without raising 390 00:41:08,580 --> 00:41:10,040 Big government socialism. 391 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:11,680 Now, come on, coach. 392 00:41:11,980 --> 00:41:15,320 You kind of scored $5 ,000 to give me a jacuzzi in the boys' locker room. 393 00:41:15,540 --> 00:41:18,900 Oh, so football is socialism now, Hank? 394 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,980 You make me sick. People, listen to me, okay? 395 00:41:24,340 --> 00:41:27,120 Barricade your doors and your windows, okay? 396 00:41:27,710 --> 00:41:29,510 Stop with your things and your drain. 397 00:41:29,810 --> 00:41:33,330 Because I say, please, again, do not go outside. 398 00:41:33,590 --> 00:41:35,030 Our kids can still go to prom tomorrow. 399 00:41:35,370 --> 00:41:38,190 Right? Yeah, you should definitely cancel prom. 400 00:41:38,450 --> 00:41:40,870 My daughter is going to be prom queen. 401 00:41:41,170 --> 00:41:45,490 How dare you try to take that away from us? Ma 'am, I am not trying to take 402 00:41:45,490 --> 00:41:47,190 anything away from anybody. 403 00:41:47,510 --> 00:41:50,630 I only get the news. You created the news. News information. 404 00:41:50,910 --> 00:41:52,690 You didn't die last night. 405 00:41:53,350 --> 00:41:54,550 False flags. 406 00:41:55,070 --> 00:41:56,070 Classist actors. 407 00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,040 Ted Kim. Kim Real Estate. If I may. 408 00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,840 What? I think we're all on the same page here, Doctor. 409 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,040 Each rookie needs our lives to proceed as normal. 410 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,020 Otherwise, the Earth wins. 411 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,760 Wouldn't you agree, Doctor Prince? 412 00:42:13,060 --> 00:42:14,060 No. 413 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:19,060 Well, I'm sure we agree that's just your opinion. 414 00:42:19,300 --> 00:42:22,600 And wouldn't you also agree that we are entitled to our opinions? 415 00:42:29,710 --> 00:42:34,550 Average Joe like me can step up and have his ideas are respected as equal to an 416 00:42:34,550 --> 00:42:37,050 expert. That's what makes the country really super. 417 00:42:37,550 --> 00:42:40,030 Listen up, you dudes. 418 00:42:40,270 --> 00:42:42,930 You've got to take responsibility for your country. 419 00:42:47,750 --> 00:42:50,490 Shit. If they wanted to build a mock, they'd take it seriously. 420 00:42:50,910 --> 00:42:53,210 Oh, uh, Dr. Brendan, please wait. 421 00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:56,290 You're absolutely right about the dangers of the egg. I've experienced 422 00:42:56,290 --> 00:43:00,360 firsthand. I'm Hank Wallace, a science teacher here in Eastbrook. I have a 423 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,060 theory about the ick. 424 00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:06,840 Please. You're right about the ick going through a new stage of growth. 425 00:43:07,660 --> 00:43:13,560 But it's also going through a stage of active cellular respiration. However, it 426 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:18,560 still maintains a stage of photosynthesis, meaning it still has to 427 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:20,700 That is how we kill the ick. 428 00:43:21,540 --> 00:43:25,680 See, because it's eukaryote, and it collects UV light, converts it into 429 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:26,680 energy. 430 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,820 But it can't convert and collect at the same time. 431 00:43:30,380 --> 00:43:35,040 That's why it only grows in the dark, outside and inside. 432 00:43:35,340 --> 00:43:39,760 For UV light, UV light, man, stops dead in its tracks. 433 00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:42,100 Wow. Yeah. 434 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:45,340 Hold that thought. Okay. 435 00:43:45,700 --> 00:43:47,360 Phone. Hello, 436 00:43:52,100 --> 00:43:53,620 Mr. President. 437 00:43:53,900 --> 00:43:54,900 Yes, 438 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,970 Eastbrook. High school science teacher. Hey, Wallace. 439 00:43:58,210 --> 00:44:01,670 Has presented the precise breakthrough we need to win this whole damn war. 440 00:44:02,990 --> 00:44:04,270 UV light, sir. 441 00:44:05,350 --> 00:44:07,390 No, no one has considered it before. 442 00:44:07,730 --> 00:44:08,730 All right. 443 00:44:09,170 --> 00:44:12,310 You think he deserves a Nobel Prize? 444 00:44:13,150 --> 00:44:15,670 Well, please, sir, transfer me to the King of Sweden. 445 00:44:15,890 --> 00:44:17,090 You can stop now. Hello? 446 00:44:17,310 --> 00:44:21,310 Is this Carl Gustav, King of Sweden and presenter of Nobel Prizes? I'll just go. 447 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:27,120 Sir, what do you mean there's no Nobel Prize for super obvious shit we figured 448 00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:28,420 out from day one? 449 00:44:30,700 --> 00:44:32,920 We know about the UV light dipshit. 450 00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:34,520 It's a goddamn plant. 451 00:44:35,980 --> 00:44:39,460 Unfortunately, due to our supply chain, we have a limited quantity of both. 452 00:44:39,740 --> 00:44:41,840 And all of our surplus has been shibboleth. 453 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:46,360 Nichols, turn. 454 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:26,340 What the globalists don't want you to know is that eating it gives men extreme 455 00:45:26,340 --> 00:45:32,340 sexual... You will gain technical power! 456 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,140 Move it to your right now. You've got to take a look at it. 457 00:45:56,120 --> 00:46:00,480 We're skipping the vaccine. The egg boosts all of our immune systems by 458 00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:04,360 releasing positive gut probiotics or whatever into the air. 459 00:46:08,430 --> 00:46:09,510 I think I got it on my shoe. 460 00:46:15,770 --> 00:46:16,770 Okay. 461 00:46:16,930 --> 00:46:18,190 I know what you want me to say. 462 00:46:19,810 --> 00:46:21,950 Hank, you're an alcoholic. 463 00:46:23,290 --> 00:46:25,130 What the hell are you doing opening a bar? 464 00:46:27,590 --> 00:46:28,790 On the contrary, Hank. 465 00:46:29,110 --> 00:46:31,390 We want you to do whatever makes you happy. 466 00:46:31,630 --> 00:46:32,890 Live a little. Let go. 467 00:46:33,890 --> 00:46:36,810 Surrender to a higher power. 468 00:46:37,450 --> 00:46:38,450 Come. 469 00:46:40,150 --> 00:46:42,790 Never crave alcohol again. 470 00:46:43,230 --> 00:46:44,230 No peace. 471 00:46:44,590 --> 00:46:45,730 No bliss. 472 00:46:46,790 --> 00:46:48,190 Suck it up on me. 473 00:46:49,030 --> 00:46:51,210 Sucker. No, thanks. 474 00:46:51,490 --> 00:46:52,550 You go ahead. 475 00:46:57,030 --> 00:46:58,850 This one was way too bright today. 476 00:47:01,090 --> 00:47:04,750 I've been thinking, babe. I support your decision to stay in Eastbrook. 477 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:07,110 This is a... 478 00:47:07,370 --> 00:47:08,370 Wonderful town. 479 00:47:10,050 --> 00:47:11,130 What's gotten into you? 480 00:47:13,750 --> 00:47:15,090 One way up in the backseat. 481 00:47:16,190 --> 00:47:18,710 Don't take this the wrong way, but you totally look like shit. 482 00:47:19,230 --> 00:47:20,870 My appearance is all that matters. 483 00:47:21,470 --> 00:47:23,150 I'm so sexually normative, babe. 484 00:47:25,290 --> 00:47:26,650 We shouldn't be out here at night. 485 00:47:27,770 --> 00:47:29,230 It's just who goes panopticon. 486 00:47:31,030 --> 00:47:32,030 Fear. 487 00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:38,200 Sit down, kid. 488 00:47:38,500 --> 00:47:39,560 You, Mr. Wallace. 489 00:47:40,740 --> 00:47:42,180 Hey, you okay? 490 00:47:42,700 --> 00:47:43,700 Want a ride? 491 00:47:49,020 --> 00:47:50,900 Great! I'm sorry! 492 00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:55,040 Can I get... Hey, go throw a ball, kid. 493 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:12,800 You know, Grace, some boys in the animal kingdom... Bro, I don't need to hear 494 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,300 about the birds and the bees, Mr. Wallace. 495 00:48:14,620 --> 00:48:16,100 I'm 18. Not the birds and the bees. 496 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:17,540 The wasp and the tarantula. 497 00:48:18,620 --> 00:48:22,520 The female hawk wasp, when she is ready to lay her egg, she paralyzes the 498 00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,660 tarantula with her stinger that then lays her eggs in its abdomen. 499 00:48:26,180 --> 00:48:29,300 When the larvae are ready to hatch, they eat the tarantula from the inside out. 500 00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:31,698 You know what I mean? 501 00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:35,180 That being pregnant is like getting eaten alive by a parasite? 502 00:48:36,410 --> 00:48:41,050 What I mean is, I think Dylan is trying to put something inside you. 503 00:48:41,310 --> 00:48:42,790 He's already put it inside me. 504 00:48:43,310 --> 00:48:45,250 I did not need to hear that. 505 00:48:45,970 --> 00:48:47,470 I think Dylan is infected. 506 00:48:47,890 --> 00:48:48,890 With what? 507 00:48:49,430 --> 00:48:50,850 Did you see his athletic physical? 508 00:48:51,410 --> 00:48:54,330 I swear, he gave me the crop after he promised. 509 00:48:57,750 --> 00:48:58,750 What's happening? 510 00:49:00,270 --> 00:49:01,270 It's in the air. 511 00:49:11,790 --> 00:49:12,408 Are you okay? 512 00:49:12,410 --> 00:49:13,410 I think so. 513 00:49:17,230 --> 00:49:18,230 Shit. 514 00:49:20,170 --> 00:49:21,170 Fuck. 515 00:49:27,570 --> 00:49:28,570 Arthur. 516 00:49:30,890 --> 00:49:31,930 Please don't post this. 517 00:49:32,910 --> 00:49:34,790 I'm texting my cousin. He dragged me to a trunk. 518 00:49:35,050 --> 00:49:36,050 Oh, nice. 519 00:49:36,110 --> 00:49:39,890 Well, in the meantime, we can get to know each other a little. You know, have 520 00:49:39,890 --> 00:49:42,730 a... A bonding sesh. Oh, my gosh. 521 00:49:43,070 --> 00:49:44,070 So awkward. 522 00:49:44,270 --> 00:49:48,270 Well, you know, we might have a lot in common. You know, like, um, what's your 523 00:49:48,270 --> 00:49:49,270 fave animal? 524 00:49:49,850 --> 00:49:53,730 Mine is a narwhal. Penguins are also different. Keep coming on to me, Mr. 525 00:49:53,830 --> 00:49:55,650 Wallace, and you'll be sorry. No warning shots. 526 00:49:56,250 --> 00:50:00,070 I could never, ever. I'm incapable of thinking of you that way. 527 00:50:02,390 --> 00:50:03,390 Hmm. 528 00:50:03,930 --> 00:50:05,290 It all makes sense now. 529 00:50:05,550 --> 00:50:06,550 It does. 530 00:50:06,890 --> 00:50:08,330 Right? Okay. 531 00:50:12,580 --> 00:50:16,020 Hard to believe you'd take an hour over dial -up to get a video. Was that before 532 00:50:16,020 --> 00:50:18,760 or after your family died of cholera? Ha ha, laugh it up. 533 00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,400 One day you'll be explaining Instagram to your cyborg children. Got any food? 534 00:50:23,060 --> 00:50:24,060 I'm starving. 535 00:50:30,620 --> 00:50:31,680 Oh, yeah. 536 00:50:31,900 --> 00:50:34,180 Well, is everyone doing steakhouse? 537 00:50:34,420 --> 00:50:37,820 Is there any aged beef that enhances the tenderness and the flavor? 538 00:50:38,540 --> 00:50:41,060 I can't believe you're a science teacher. I wanted to be an English 539 00:50:41,060 --> 00:50:43,500 all the positions were filled. It was a weight lift. 540 00:50:44,180 --> 00:50:45,340 Done enough science degrees. 541 00:50:45,740 --> 00:50:46,740 Really lame. 542 00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:55,240 Maybe daddy. 543 00:50:55,660 --> 00:50:58,200 Are you maybe somebody's baby daddy, Mr. Wallace? 544 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,000 Knock up a cheerleader back in your swinging dick days. 545 00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:17,780 No. No, this can't be happening. 546 00:51:18,100 --> 00:51:22,200 My asshole dad is my asshole dad, not this upside down asshole. 547 00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,080 There's no easy way to explain this, Grace. 548 00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:30,320 But you don't exactly look, you know, and your dad is, you know, and you are, 549 00:51:30,420 --> 00:51:32,700 you know, and you better hold on to something. 550 00:51:42,510 --> 00:51:46,870 years later it finally occurs to me i might be your daughter i just thought it 551 00:51:46,870 --> 00:51:50,830 was impossible i thought that you were conceived too late and i figured that 552 00:51:50,830 --> 00:51:54,890 half the town could be your father i just mean that your mom probably had sex 553 00:51:54,890 --> 00:52:00,390 with a lot yeah yeah i got that thing hey you could just think about me as 554 00:52:00,390 --> 00:52:04,590 your your cool uncle right and take you to disney world and parenthood stop it 555 00:52:04,590 --> 00:52:09,690 i'm not some dude bro's fugitive chromosome but but nothing you're not my 556 00:52:09,690 --> 00:52:11,830 and even if you are you never will 557 00:52:16,620 --> 00:52:17,680 No, it's not worse. 558 00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:19,460 Luke, Darth, Father. 559 00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,820 Please, God, say I'm not related to this moron. 560 00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,840 I didn't want this. I didn't mean for this to happen. 561 00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:27,720 Cool. It never happened. 562 00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:30,120 My cousin's on his way. Oh, cool, cool. 563 00:52:33,820 --> 00:52:36,440 You know, but... Shut up. You don't have to talk, you know. The golden. 564 00:52:36,660 --> 00:52:37,558 Silence is gold. 565 00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:38,560 But, um... Nope. 566 00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:39,600 Great. 567 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:46,058 Oh, shit. 568 00:52:46,060 --> 00:52:48,600 You should leave Eastbrook and you should change your mind about going to 569 00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,860 college. Why? I'm not leaving. You leave. 570 00:52:51,220 --> 00:52:57,480 Are you dadding me right now? 571 00:52:58,820 --> 00:53:00,600 I know it's scary to think about leaving. 572 00:53:00,860 --> 00:53:02,680 I get that. Really, I do. 573 00:53:03,100 --> 00:53:05,540 But big cities are filled with amazing things. 574 00:53:05,860 --> 00:53:11,200 You know, like museums and fancy restaurants and Dave and Lester. 575 00:53:11,460 --> 00:53:12,700 You are dadding me right now. 576 00:53:13,420 --> 00:53:16,240 What do you want with a teenage daughter anyway? We're complicated and mean. 577 00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:20,420 I don't think I really have much of a choice. Will you stop saying that? 578 00:53:20,860 --> 00:53:24,980 Look, do you really want to be the only florist with a 1500 on her SATs? 579 00:53:26,860 --> 00:53:27,860 Look, moron. 580 00:53:29,260 --> 00:53:34,960 You can't come into my life after 18 years and suddenly claim me like a value 581 00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:35,960 -backed coupon. 582 00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:38,840 Where were you when I skinned my knee? 583 00:53:40,060 --> 00:53:41,340 Or when my guinea pig died? 584 00:53:43,850 --> 00:53:46,550 Boy, I like another girl to homecoming. 585 00:53:48,890 --> 00:53:51,230 You can't be Disney dad, Mr. Wallace. 586 00:53:54,310 --> 00:53:55,630 You don't know shit about me. 587 00:53:56,330 --> 00:53:59,510 And you sure as hell don't know shit about families. 588 00:54:02,710 --> 00:54:04,890 Family is why I stayed in Eastbrook. 589 00:54:05,410 --> 00:54:07,090 Don't make the same mistake that I did, Grace. 590 00:54:07,550 --> 00:54:11,350 You know, it took me a long time to realize that family and Eastbrook are 591 00:54:11,350 --> 00:54:12,129 the same thing. 592 00:54:12,130 --> 00:54:13,390 In fact, Eastbrook... 593 00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:15,320 Kind of sucks. How does family? 594 00:54:15,740 --> 00:54:16,740 Sometimes. 595 00:54:17,020 --> 00:54:20,800 But you know, family is kind of like a band. And Eastbrook is like the best 596 00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:21,800 of all time. The Beatles. 597 00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:22,840 Creep. 598 00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:26,140 It's hard to imagine a more perfect album than Human Clay. 599 00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:30,360 But then the band broke up soon after. 600 00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:31,720 It always breaks up. 601 00:54:32,460 --> 00:54:33,460 But you agree? 602 00:54:33,980 --> 00:54:36,020 You are a great dad. 603 00:54:37,620 --> 00:54:41,260 Who the fuck is Ed? 604 00:54:54,090 --> 00:54:55,130 Are you kidding me, young lady? 605 00:54:55,430 --> 00:54:56,430 Shut up, Jasper. 606 00:54:56,550 --> 00:54:57,550 Mr. Waller. 607 00:55:00,910 --> 00:55:01,910 Uh, 608 00:55:03,490 --> 00:55:06,610 the mold. What? The penicillin. What are you saying? 609 00:55:10,850 --> 00:55:14,370 Penicillin was created when mold got into a pizza and released a toxin into 610 00:55:14,370 --> 00:55:15,590 bacteria that the scientists were going. 611 00:55:16,010 --> 00:55:17,110 Aha, I ate your poison. 612 00:55:17,370 --> 00:55:19,470 Uh, we're not working. 613 00:55:19,870 --> 00:55:20,950 Quit thinking, Dr. Science. 614 00:55:26,350 --> 00:55:27,970 I'll let it go this time, Grace, but the cigarette? 615 00:55:28,190 --> 00:55:29,970 The ink, you idiot. Let it go. 616 00:55:38,130 --> 00:55:39,130 Plane thrower, please. 617 00:56:03,630 --> 00:56:04,630 Are you okay? 618 00:56:22,710 --> 00:56:23,730 Let's get the hell out of here. 619 00:56:27,090 --> 00:56:28,590 And stay away from my mom too. 620 00:57:27,660 --> 00:57:29,360 Dad? How's this possible? 621 00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,080 The ick. 622 00:57:33,980 --> 00:57:36,820 It absorbed me into the earth all those years ago. 623 00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:49,380 This whole rotten planet is falling apart at the seams. 624 00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:53,280 The ick is the thread that will pull it back together. 625 00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:54,960 Well, good luck. 626 00:57:56,520 --> 00:58:00,000 It's going to take a lot more than some lab -grown goo to fix all that. 627 00:58:02,020 --> 00:58:03,140 Or maybe your bacteria. 628 00:58:04,580 --> 00:58:05,580 I don't know. 629 00:58:06,980 --> 00:58:07,980 Alien. 630 00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:10,340 It's a program, son. 631 00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:14,300 And I'll tell you what that program is. 632 00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:27,680 A program of chaos that rewrites itself, breaks its rules, creates the 633 00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:31,360 fear of the random. You will never know how it works. 634 00:58:31,900 --> 00:58:35,940 Its goal is contradiction and confusion. 635 00:58:36,420 --> 00:58:41,880 No rhyme or reason. Because it overwhelms. Some it devours. 636 00:58:42,740 --> 00:58:45,040 Some it resurrects. 637 00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:48,000 You will ignore it. 638 00:58:57,759 --> 00:58:59,820 It can fix anything, son. 639 00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:02,440 Anything. 640 00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:05,320 It can even fix that lady, to be honest. 641 00:59:31,850 --> 00:59:34,230 About last minute, okay? Not your first swing and miss. 642 00:59:35,690 --> 00:59:38,270 But I want to know if my number's aired the way it was in there. 643 00:59:39,130 --> 00:59:40,130 Injured from what? 644 00:59:42,010 --> 00:59:43,430 The ape attacked me. 645 00:59:44,490 --> 00:59:46,270 Okay. The ape attacked everyone. 646 00:59:51,970 --> 00:59:58,870 The very best 647 00:59:58,870 --> 01:00:00,150 moments of our life were on this field. 648 01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:06,580 and the very worst dreams of going to college nfl owning a mansion in beverly 649 01:00:06,580 --> 01:00:13,400 hills vacation how fran in a series of viagra commercials wearing a 650 01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:19,400 flannel chopping wood for crystal blue lake and you 651 01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:25,300 i lost it all right here don't be so dramatic 652 01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:30,320 Is Grace my daughter? 653 01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:31,640 What? 654 01:00:31,860 --> 01:00:32,860 No. 655 01:00:33,100 --> 01:00:34,880 Is that why you dragged me out here? 656 01:00:35,620 --> 01:00:36,900 Faithy, just wait, please. 657 01:01:17,580 --> 01:01:19,720 Grace, don't ever think my death is your fault. 658 01:01:20,380 --> 01:01:21,860 I've wanted this for a long time. 659 01:01:23,980 --> 01:01:26,080 Consider me a cautionary tale. 660 01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:28,500 I don't repeat my mistakes. 661 01:01:29,900 --> 01:01:31,420 Find happiness wherever you can. 662 01:01:32,460 --> 01:01:33,460 Grab it. 663 01:01:34,820 --> 01:01:35,980 And never let go. 664 01:02:09,180 --> 01:02:10,180 Frickin' Ken. 665 01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:22,580 Hello, Eastbrook High! 666 01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:26,940 We're gonna start this night off right. This next song takes you back to 2002. 667 01:02:27,980 --> 01:02:30,060 Mary Gilson recorded her first disc tape. 668 01:02:30,580 --> 01:02:32,380 America's still real in 9 -11. 669 01:02:33,260 --> 01:02:34,260 Never forget! 670 01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:37,200 What a prick. 671 01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:38,520 9 -11. 672 01:02:39,430 --> 01:02:40,430 Next turn. 673 01:02:43,390 --> 01:02:47,590 You think maybe we should barricade the doors, you know, into the ick? The 674 01:02:47,590 --> 01:02:48,710 government will take care of it. 675 01:02:48,930 --> 01:02:50,750 The ick is an agent of natural selection. 676 01:02:51,130 --> 01:02:54,890 Next generation is going to be faster, smarter, probably get some good 677 01:02:54,890 --> 01:02:55,890 cornerbacks out of it. 678 01:03:04,430 --> 01:03:07,190 This next joint is for all the lovers out there. 679 01:03:08,270 --> 01:03:10,130 who saw your parents deceive you to. 680 01:03:10,530 --> 01:03:12,130 Maybe the rubber broke. 681 01:03:12,570 --> 01:03:14,670 Maybe there was no rubber. 682 01:03:18,150 --> 01:03:18,729 Heather, 683 01:03:18,730 --> 01:03:30,810 ask 684 01:03:30,810 --> 01:03:31,810 him to dance now. 685 01:03:34,730 --> 01:03:36,650 Would you like to? I'd love to. 686 01:03:42,930 --> 01:03:43,930 What? 687 01:03:44,150 --> 01:03:45,150 I'm staying here. 688 01:03:45,350 --> 01:03:47,510 I want to be with you forever. 689 01:03:56,570 --> 01:03:57,810 Goddamn, this song rips. 690 01:04:51,980 --> 01:04:54,420 Ted, you gotta get out of here. No can do, buddy. 691 01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:58,040 Gotta make sure the kids do Dairy Queen and get home safe. That's an EDM outfit, 692 01:04:58,120 --> 01:04:59,120 isn't it? 693 01:05:01,980 --> 01:05:03,780 Ted, the ick is coming. 694 01:05:04,060 --> 01:05:05,060 The ick? 695 01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:06,320 It's already here. 696 01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:08,360 That's nice. Where will we go? 697 01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:09,780 It's everywhere else, too. 698 01:05:10,620 --> 01:05:13,320 Ted, let's get my daughter to the ick. 699 01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:16,160 You're the daughter? 700 01:05:18,980 --> 01:05:19,980 Maybe. 701 01:06:02,570 --> 01:06:03,570 Oh, 702 01:06:06,770 --> 01:06:10,050 damn it. The windows are new. Screw you, Mercedes. 703 01:06:10,610 --> 01:06:11,610 I'll break your glass. 704 01:06:16,370 --> 01:06:20,210 You threw it in three. 705 01:06:20,470 --> 01:06:21,470 Oh, Mercedes. 706 01:06:21,790 --> 01:06:22,729 Look, Hank. 707 01:06:22,730 --> 01:06:23,730 About three. 708 01:06:31,020 --> 01:06:32,020 Get police! 709 01:07:17,950 --> 01:07:21,030 developed. America needs its traditions. 710 01:07:37,089 --> 01:07:39,670 Don't you love me? I'm doing a thing in Eastbrook for you. 711 01:07:40,610 --> 01:07:41,610 Dylan. 712 01:07:41,930 --> 01:07:42,930 Right, babe. 713 01:07:43,590 --> 01:07:44,890 We need to fix this town. 714 01:07:45,210 --> 01:07:46,490 Don't run from it. No. 715 01:07:47,650 --> 01:07:48,730 Are you serious? 716 01:07:50,070 --> 01:07:54,490 Frank, don't have sex with him. Are you serious? You can have sex with a million 717 01:07:54,490 --> 01:07:57,250 men if that's what you want. Not? Not with him, okay? He is it. 718 01:07:58,790 --> 01:08:01,750 The old white guy saving the virginity of a helpless female? 719 01:08:03,230 --> 01:08:05,170 Really? I'm okay with it. 720 01:08:07,270 --> 01:08:08,570 That's Smash Mouth Football, kid. 721 01:08:09,710 --> 01:08:10,710 Sorry about your bra. 722 01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:46,130 We want you to have a meaningful, safe relationship with the boys, you know? 723 01:08:46,790 --> 01:08:48,330 So not the time for this talk. 724 01:08:48,649 --> 01:08:51,710 They say we're infected, but I'll tell you, it's kind of worse. 725 01:08:59,149 --> 01:09:00,149 Inside. 726 01:09:49,460 --> 01:09:50,620 Hey, kid. 727 01:09:50,979 --> 01:09:52,340 That might sting a little. 728 01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:13,560 You know what your problem is, Dylan? 729 01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:16,160 You're a phony. 730 01:10:16,500 --> 01:10:18,260 You haven't read half the shit you quote. 731 01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:22,300 You summarize from Wikipedia and we'll look at it like a weapon. 732 01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:26,020 You're a sad, pathetic asshole without an original thought. 733 01:10:27,220 --> 01:10:28,680 You're just like everyone else. 734 01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:39,500 I need to tell you something. Yeah, I know. You might be my dad. You told me 735 01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:40,500 already. No. 736 01:10:42,040 --> 01:10:43,160 It's about you real parents. 737 01:10:43,380 --> 01:10:46,220 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're gonna die. 738 01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:48,360 Not here. Where? 739 01:10:49,240 --> 01:10:50,860 No, I mean, we're leaving Eastbrook. 740 01:10:53,420 --> 01:10:54,420 Why? 741 01:10:54,680 --> 01:10:55,680 You and me. 742 01:10:57,980 --> 01:10:58,980 And the regular monkey. 743 01:11:14,830 --> 01:11:15,830 Go! 744 01:11:55,980 --> 01:11:57,460 Feels like the heartbreak will never end. 745 01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:01,340 But, um, I'm here for you, Grace. 746 01:12:06,540 --> 01:12:08,280 Heather! Griffin! You're a couple! 747 01:12:09,860 --> 01:12:10,860 Let's move. 748 01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:15,720 All right. 749 01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:17,300 Better get out of here. Find some place. 750 01:12:19,420 --> 01:12:21,700 Paladin. Stadium lights emit UV radiation. 751 01:12:22,140 --> 01:12:25,420 Not as much as the sun or a black light, but hopefully enough to keep us. 752 01:12:26,900 --> 01:12:27,900 Harm yourselves. 753 01:12:28,300 --> 01:12:29,300 Whatever you can carry. 754 01:12:29,660 --> 01:12:30,960 Get ready for a fight! 755 01:12:32,780 --> 01:12:33,780 Come on. 756 01:12:34,300 --> 01:12:35,540 You could have just opened it. 757 01:12:36,100 --> 01:12:38,640 I mean, that was super dramatic and all, but... Now I have to crawl over broken 758 01:12:38,640 --> 01:12:39,640 glass. 759 01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:06,318 Pack the wires. 760 01:13:06,320 --> 01:13:07,320 Put all the switches. 761 01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:10,420 Where are you going? I have to go back out. Turn on the circuit breakers. 762 01:13:10,460 --> 01:13:12,020 Without them, there's no power flowing to the halogens. 763 01:13:13,820 --> 01:13:14,820 Good luck. 764 01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:27,340 That was super weird. 765 01:13:27,580 --> 01:13:28,438 Are you Mr. 766 01:13:28,440 --> 01:13:29,880 Wallace? It's complicated. 767 01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:31,240 None of my business. 768 01:13:31,980 --> 01:13:32,980 You can do better. 769 01:15:11,790 --> 01:15:12,790 Hi, sweetie. 770 01:15:12,830 --> 01:15:14,230 It's time to join. 771 01:15:14,470 --> 01:15:15,670 We're mommy and daddy. 772 01:16:31,050 --> 01:16:33,810 You all right? I can't, you know, relatively. 773 01:16:34,270 --> 01:16:35,270 Come to the line! 774 01:16:44,590 --> 01:16:47,210 I want it to be over. He's dead. He should be at peace. 775 01:16:48,250 --> 01:16:49,250 It's not him, Grace. 776 01:16:50,370 --> 01:16:51,370 Everything's going to be okay. 777 01:17:02,580 --> 01:17:08,580 What's going on? The egg pulled out the ground under the lights and... We have 778 01:17:08,580 --> 01:17:09,580 to go! 779 01:17:13,320 --> 01:17:14,320 Higher ground. 780 01:18:43,760 --> 01:18:44,659 What are you doing? 781 01:18:44,660 --> 01:18:45,660 We can make it! 782 01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:42,240 I've been tipping them forever. 783 01:22:12,139 --> 01:22:13,760 Grace, I need to tell you something. 784 01:22:16,140 --> 01:22:18,720 Whether or not you're my actual daughter, I'm so proud of you. 785 01:22:24,120 --> 01:22:30,160 I'm so glad that you're in my life. 786 01:23:11,500 --> 01:23:12,640 Are we done now, or? 787 01:23:13,980 --> 01:23:14,980 Hey! 788 01:23:15,500 --> 01:23:16,760 High school okay? 789 01:23:17,960 --> 01:23:19,220 Definitely not. 790 01:23:20,300 --> 01:23:22,200 Y 'all hear what happened to Gigglesburg? 791 01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:23,960 Damn close. 792 01:23:24,260 --> 01:23:25,980 Old town was washed away. 793 01:23:26,360 --> 01:23:27,360 Dang. 794 01:23:27,940 --> 01:23:28,940 Gigglesburg. 795 01:23:30,420 --> 01:23:31,420 What now? 796 01:24:11,790 --> 01:24:12,790 How's the new job? 797 01:24:13,770 --> 01:24:15,150 Lucrative. Yeah. 798 01:24:15,510 --> 01:24:18,090 Turns out all the economy needed was mass suffering. 799 01:24:20,390 --> 01:24:21,390 I'm leaving. 800 01:24:22,490 --> 01:24:23,490 Yeah. 801 01:24:23,930 --> 01:24:24,930 I figured. 802 01:24:25,790 --> 01:24:28,050 After all this time, I still don't know what to call you. 803 01:24:28,610 --> 01:24:29,610 Mr. Wallace. 804 01:24:30,270 --> 01:24:32,230 Dad. Don't say teach. 805 01:24:33,350 --> 01:24:35,570 Well, technically, we still don't know. 806 01:24:35,770 --> 01:24:36,870 Maybe it's better not to know. 807 01:24:37,690 --> 01:24:38,690 Yeah. 808 01:24:38,890 --> 01:24:39,890 Maybe it's not. 809 01:24:40,650 --> 01:24:42,430 Like father, like maybe daughter. 810 01:24:42,990 --> 01:24:43,990 Hey, hey. 811 01:24:44,310 --> 01:24:46,010 I knew you'd be here. 812 01:24:46,450 --> 01:24:51,310 Got something for you. All right. Oh, come on. I'll be playing football. 813 01:24:51,790 --> 01:24:52,790 I was a quarterback. 814 01:24:53,090 --> 01:24:54,530 The government's in turmoil. 815 01:24:54,830 --> 01:24:56,590 Nobody's seen the president in two months. 816 01:24:56,970 --> 01:24:59,310 And yet, the mailman delivers. 817 01:24:59,630 --> 01:25:01,010 Neither rain, nor sleep, nor ick. 818 01:25:06,750 --> 01:25:07,770 I mailed it in. 819 01:25:09,310 --> 01:25:10,310 Great. 820 01:25:11,280 --> 01:25:12,280 You ready? 821 01:25:14,160 --> 01:25:15,160 No. 822 01:25:16,200 --> 01:25:17,200 But what the hell. 823 01:25:18,100 --> 01:25:19,100 Let's open it anyway. 58919

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