All language subtitles for Highlander S05E05

DUNCAN [OFFSCREEN]: When I'm
gone, give me some happiness.

You [inaudible] thy looks
so long love confess.

Not please nor displease me.

[inaudible]

love's force.

[screaming]

-What is wrong there, lass?

-Oh, save me, kind sir.

Save me, for pity's sake.

-What miserable villain
would take

liberties with one so fair?

-A monster, a depraved,
unspeakable beast--

Coventry.

-Fear not.

None shall harm you unless
he first defeat me.

-There you are.

-[gasps]

-Damned wench.

I warned you what would happen
if you ever tried to leave me.

Now get back to my
bed chamber.

-I would rather die.

-Oh, you will wish it so
once I have had my way.

-The lady does not want you.

And any fool can see why.

-I have flayed men
alive for less.

-And I have heard frogs
croak louder.

-You dare to insult me?

-I believe I do.

-Then you are a fool.

And you shall soon
be a dead fool.

You must not know to whom
you are speaking.

-Though I believe I do.

Now let me see.

No, do not coach me.

I want to get it right.

A bully, a warthog, and one who
makes up in sheer ugliness

for what he lacks in,
uh, other areas.

-You shall need more than fine
manners and a sharp tongue to

save [inaudible].

-I have a sharp sword.

-Oh.

-[gasps]

-Oh, oh Duncan.

Oh.

[screams]

-Drop the blade, or she dies.

I swear, I'll kill her
where she stands.

-You coward.

You harm one hair on her head,
and you'll have to answer to

Duncan MacLeod.

-[scoffs]

Drop it.

Drop it now.

CAROLYN MARSH [OFFSCREEN]:
Roxanne hoped that the

stranger would somehow
save her.

But with the brutish Coventry's
blade at her

throat, all seemed lost.

Then suddenly--

-And--

and?

So what happens?

Does he save her?

-For that, you'll have
to buy the book.

[laughter]

-Ladies and gentlemen,
Carolyn Marsh.

Carolyn's available to
sign your books now.

-Let's get in line.

NARRATOR: He is Duncan MacLeod,
the Highlander.

Born in 1592 in the highlands
of Scotland,

and he is still alive.

He is immortal.

For 400 years, he's been a
warrior, a lover, a wanderer.

Constantly facing other
immortals in combat to the

death, the winner takes
his enemy's head,

and with it his power.

I am a watcher, part of a secret
society of men and

women who observe and record,
but never interfere.

We know the truth
about immortals.

In the end, there
can be only one.

May it be Duncan MacLeod,
the Highlander.

THEME SONG: Here we are, born to
be kings, we're the princes

of the universe.

I am immortal.

I have inside me
blood of kings.

I have no rival.

No man can be my equal.

Take me to the future
of your world.

[grunts]

-Well, that's it.

Do you believe I maxed out
all my credit cards?

-Everything except your
library card, huh?

-Uh, speaking of books,
I have something I

want to read to you.

"As he strode into the room,
she felt her knees weaken--

the dark eyes that roved over
her with the color of

midnight, his muscles as hardest
as the highland hills

that formed them."

-Sounds like Shakespeare.

-Not finished.

"A mane of flowing hair to rival
Lancelot's charger."

-Must be Fabio.

-"This was the man her father
had hired to protect her, this

barbarian, this smokey-eyed
Scot, this

Duncan MacLeod." [screams]

-What?

-"Coarse manners, a hairy mole,
Coventry was swine from

head to toe, a conniving,
backstabbing--" Gerald!

Gerald!

-Sir.

-I'll kill her.

I'll absolutely kill her.

Buchanan Books.

Find out who's the editor of
this miserable piece of dreck,

and then find me the author.

-Immediately, sir.

I warned you, you'll never get
away with a stunt like this.

And now you're going to pay.

-I don't believe it.

-Neither do I. I mean, she got
the eyes sort of right, but

muscles as hard as the
highland hills.

-I meant someone actually
writing this stuff.

-Oh, I though maybe you
wrote it yourself,

except I met the writer.

-Who is this Carolyn Marsh?

-Oh, I thought maybe you knew.

-[scoffs]

You don't think I'd tell some
mortal about my life.

-You have before.

-Yeah, but not some
romance novelist.

-Well, someone did, because you
are a bestseller, baby.

-That's not fun--

listen to this.

"Roxanne's breath came in
labored gasps as he crushed

his lips to hers.

Her hands reached for his quilt,
where they found--" oh.

-Wait a minute, I didn't
read that.

-Well, you know.

-Oh, so it's a little purple.

The prose, I mean.

-Very funny.

This isn't even close to
the way it happened.

[inaudible].

I was coming from [inaudible].

I'd been riding so long,
I was starting to

smell like my horse.

-Help!

Help me!

He's after me!

[gasps]

-Oh, help me, please.

I beg you.

-Now what seems to
be the problem?

-Oh--

oh, that pig.

He's trying to take advantage
of me maidenly honor.

-Well, it's a little late
for that, is it not?

-So, thought you could take
advantage of a gentleman?

-Oh, save me, kind sir, from
a fate worse than death.

-Please.

I beg your pardon, sir, but this
is none of your affair.

-I'm afraid it is.

It seems you're distressing
this lady.

-Stand clear, sir.

This hussy and I have
a score to settle.

-Uh, I'm going to beg
to differ, sir.

She's under my protection now.

-Ugh.

Do you know what you
are protecting?

-A lady in need.

-That's no lady, sir.

-I beg your pardon.

-Your opinion of her is
of no matter to me.

-I'm amazed how easily
you can discard what

you have not heard.

-Whoever she is, she
needs my help.

-Oh, spare me.

-I'm Duncan MacLeod of
the clan MacLeod.

-Oh.

-I don't wish to fight you.

But I will to protect what's
left of the lady's honor.

-Name's Coventry.

And it appears she has
none left to protect.

You've been duped, sir.

She's nothing but a common
thief, a barmaid

who stole my purse.

-Harsh words.

Where's your proof?

-There.

-Hey!

Come back with my horse.

-Ya!

-See?

You see how chivalry
is rewarded?

There is no justice.

I'd buy you an ale to drown your
sorrows, but she's stolen

every penny I had.

-Well, at least you
have a horse.

If you would not mind, sir, to
give me a ride to the next

town, I'll buy the ale.

-Oh.

-We can discuss the
death of chivalry.

-Done.

Gentlemen of our caliber stick
together, especially when

we're taken advantage of by--

by, uh--

-A hussy of that sort?

-Actually, I had a better
word in mind.

[inaudible], be off.

I say, MacLeod, you
could use a bath.

-That's not me.

That's the horse.

-Oh my.

Duncan MacLeod?

-No.

-I'd like to speak to the editor
of the Carolyn Marsh

books, please.

It's regarding the blade
of the MacLeods.

-You wouldn't happen to be
Scottish, would you?

-No, I don't want to be put
through to her fan club.

Thank you very much.

-You know, I can't
believe you're

taking this so seriously.

-Why not?

This is my name, my life.

What am I supposed
to do, ignore it?

-Well, well, well, look what
the cat dragged in.

-What's she doing here?

-By the looks of it, I'd say
she's shopping for tenderloin.

-Hey, excuse me,
can I help you?

-Please just tell me that
you're Duncan MacLeod.

-OK, I'm Duncan MacLeod.

-But you're perfect,
just perfect.

-Thank you.

-[sniffing]

Something smells kind
of funny in here.

-It's probably lust.

Uh, Duncan, this is Carolyn
Marsh, the, uh,

lady with the book.

-You don't say.

-Do I know you?

-The book signing
this morning.

-Oh, you know, I have
so many fans.

Just another face
in the crowd.

You know how it is.

Duncan--

I make call you Duncan, right?

-Absolutely.

-We need to talk.

-I agree.

-And I think it would be so much
easier to discuss things

over a drink.

-Well, why don't we just all sit
and talk and have a drink.

-Oh, I don't think
that's necessary.

-Oh, I do.

-This is business.

-Well, in that case, I insist.

-Ladies, ladies--

I can walk.

Uh, your book's quite
imaginative.

-And you're wondering where
I get my ideas.

A lot of people ask that.

-Really?

-Well, it's simple.

Duncan MacLeod is real.

For 400 years, the name's been
popping up in legends all over

the world--

Scotland, Italy, Turkey.

-Oh, Turkey.

Imagine that.

-Always the same story--

a warrior comes down from the
highlands, fighting battles,

protecting the weak, always
Duncan MacLeod.

What do you think of that?

-Fascinating.

-It used to drive me crazy.

And then I finally
figured it out.

I know the truth.

-The what?

Uh-- uh--

excuse me, uh, just one--

um, what is the truth?

-What does man need most?

Besides that.

Heroes.

And if there aren't any,
he creates them.

Duncan MacLeod exists because
we want him to exist.

We need him to exist.

-So you don't actually think
it's the same guy?

-Are you nuts?

He's have to be immortal.

[laughing]

-That's very funny.

About this book--

-Books, a whole series of them
set in different time periods.

It's a gimmick.

But to really sell it, I need
today's Duncan MacLeod.

And that's where you come in.

-That's where I get out.

-It's a goldmine.

-I'm not interested.

-Look, I've seen your dough,
bro, or whatever you call it.

And I've seen dumpsters with
better facilities.

-You know, I agree.

But it's--

it's him.

-Well, look, I know you
need the cash, so

what's the deal here?

-There is no deal.

-Well, maybe I should
do a little

research into Duncan MacLeod.

-Oh, what, and find out he was
born in the highlands of

Scotland 400 years ago?

-Maybe he has something
to hide.

-What will it take for you
to get off my back?

-Come to the party my publisher
is throwing.

Just give it a try.

If you don't like
it, I'm gone.

Or should I set the research
drones to work?

-OK, one time, one party.

No publicity, no press,
no pictures.

That's the deal.

OK, deal.

But try to come alone.

-Not in your lifetime.

-One second.

I'll be back.

I'll be back.

-Will you sign my book?

-Oh, hi there.

Um, yes, uh-- uh--

-Please?

-In a moment.

Thank you.

[clears throat]

I hate this.

-Oh, yeah right.

Now you agreed.

And besides, I don't remember
any torture chamber.

-And what other choice
did I have?

-Oh, you love being the old
Scottish action hero.

-Oh, don't be ridiculous.

But I guess I'll have
to live with it.

-So Tim, what's the
body count so far?

-So far, three reviewers and a
Vanity Fair editor had to have

smelling salts.

Carolyn, he's absolutely
brilliant.

-What did I tell you?

Didn't I tell you,
he's a goldmine.

-Oh, he's gorgeous,
that's what he is.

Pam is gonna love him.

-He's coming over.

-Oh, be still my
beating heart.

Oh my.

-Duncan, this is my
publicist, Tim.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

-Pleasure.

Oh.

-Um, Carolyn, In your research
on the MacLeods, did you

happen to come across any
archetypal women, you know,

goddess types?

-Oh, he got tangled up with
someone once in, uh, Turkey.

But she was just a cheap whore
and a thief, not really worth

mentioning.

-Really?

-Would you excuse
us for a moment.

We've just got something
to discuss.

-In private.

-What now?

-Maybe it's the real
Duncan MacLeod.

-[chuckles]

Funny.

Very funny.

-If it isn't the superhero
himself.

Duncan MacLeod.

-Terence Coventry.

You here for me?

-Don't flatter yourself.

No, I'm here for her.

-If anyone had a reason to kill
her, it should be me.

I'm the one with my
name on the cover.

-I'm the pig with a mole on
my face, a hairy mole.

Do you see a mole?

Do I dress like a pig?

-No, but Terence, I wouldn't
worry about it.

It's just a book.

It'll be forgotten
in a few months.

-Oh, fine for you to talk.

You're the damn hero.

I, meanwhile, am I spineless
coward who tries to kill

unarmed women.

-You think that's bad,
she called me a

cheap whore and a thief.

I was never cheap.

-Terence, I don't
like it either.

But you can't kill a
defenceless mortal.

-Says who?

-Uh, hold that a minute,
would you?

We haven't finished yet.

-She must have an accident,
break her writing arm, have

her jaw wired.

-Hm, I'd use poison,
maybe a big rock.

What about a steak through
the heart?

-I do like the way you think.

-Hm.

-Mr. MacLeod, such a pleasure.

-Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

-There you are.

You're not supposed to
be disappearing.

That's not our deal.

You're on display.

-I don't like being
on display.

-Well, don't pout.

It's not attractive.

Your public's waiting.

-Oh, I tell you what,
[inaudible] already, so why

don't we get out of here.

-Why, Duncan, that would
be premature

evacuation, n'est-ce pas?

Why the rush?

-I'll tell you later.

Where are we going?

Bali, the highlands?

-Oh, anywhere you like.

-OK, your place.

-What, now?

Uh-- now, now.

-See that guy.

He tried to steal my wallet.

-Slow down, please.

-Carolyn.

Carolyn Do I know you?

-It's simple, really.

Duncan MacLeod is every woman's
sexual fantasy, a

warrior with the heart
of a poet.

-I'd really love to meet him.

-But he's more than that.

He's a man of ethics,
principles.

He's a tragic, romantic
figure.

And if he didn't exist, we'd
have to invent him.

-So what did you learn
from this fantasy?

-Do you really want to know?

-Oh, absolutely.

-The first time Duncan MacLeod
turns up, he's a chieftain's

son, raised to lead
a highland clan.

He fell in love with
the daughter of

a neighboring chieftain.

But she was pledged in marriage
to his kinsman--

you know, a real Romeo and
Juliet kind of thing.

-Aye, you're a good lad.

-Duncan.

CAROLYN MARSH [OFFSCREEN]:
Their love was

so strong, so pure.

It couldn't be denied.

But he gave it all
up for honor.

-Oh.

I spoke to my father.

What did he say?

-Uh, we spoke.

-Oh, Duncan, no.

We love each other.

-Aye, but he'll nay
move, Debra.

You're to marry my cousin
Robert, and that's the end of

it.

-Oh, you're the chieftain's
son.

There has to be something
you can do.

-Do you not think I've tried?

This is a joining of the clans
of Campbells and the MacLeods.

-Our clans will be joined
when I marry you.

-You're pledged to him.

We cannot be.

When you look at this,
think of me.

-What are you saying?

-I'm leaving.

-Then take me with you.

We'll go together, start
over somewhere.

-I'll nay dishonor you, Debra,
nor shame my family.

-I will marry if
I must, Duncan.

But please do not leave me.

I have to see you, even if it's
only across the village.

-You're the love of my
life, Debra Campbell.

CAROLYN MARSH [OFFSCREEN]: Two
strong men in love with the

same woman, of course
there was a fight.

-Damn you, Duncan, you've turned
her heart against me.

-She cannot help her heart,
anymore than I can help mine.

-You'll not make me a cuckold.

Draw your blade.

-I'm a clansman.

Let me pass.

-Not before you give
me satisfaction.

-Robert, we've been friends
all our lives.

I cannot fight you?

-Coward.

-If you were not kin, you'd
be dead where you stand.

-You'll not walk away on
this, not while I live.

The challenge is made.

No MacLeod can turn his
back on such words.

-But father, he's king.

-And you're a chieftain's son.

-Robert, withdraw
the challenge.

I don't want your blood.

-But I want yours.

You have your satisfaction.

-[shouts]

[gags]

-Robert.

Robert.

-Duncan.

-Don't die, Robert.

CAROLYN MARSH [OFFSCREEN]: He
killed his own cousin, the boy

he'd grown up with.

After all this, it
wasn't to be.

The tragic part is,
she died anyway.

All the love in his heart
couldn't save her.

-No!

Debra!

CAROLYN MARSH [OFFSCREEN]: He
left his clan shortly after

that, just rode away
into the mist.

They say he's wandered
the world ever since.

-You know, they still tell
that story in the little

village in Scotland,
Glenfinnan.

-On the shores of Loch
Shiel, yeah.

-How did you know?

-It's in your book.

-You're right.

And I thought you
weren't a fan.

Imagine the loss, wondering the
earth alone, longing for

love, companionship, warmth, but
no one to truly understand

his soul and to share
his pain.

I would do anything
for that man.

I would willing be his slave.

I want it, you want it.

-No, it's not--

-Stop fighting.

-I'm not--

-Well, yippee ki ya, the
rodeo's in town.

-Didn't you ever learn
how to knock?

-Oh, you'd be surprised
what I learned.

Would you like me to show you?

-Uh, Amanda, this isn't exactly
what you think.

-What I'm thinking, Duncan,
you don't want to know.

-$30 for the cabbie who brought
me back from your

little soiree.

-Oh yeah, of course.

Right here.

Look.

I'll go and pay it right away.

And don't--

just don't.

Keep the change.

Oh, not now.

-Where is she?

-Who?

-Do you think I'm a fool?

Carolyn Marsh, the
author, who else?

Sable mane, muscles hard as
hills, eyes like potatoes, or

whatever the hell she said.

You're sleeping with her.

-Oh, why would I want
to do that?

-To make yourself look good and
to make me look a fool.

-I swear, I haven't been
anywhere near her.

-No?

"As Duncan's lips crushed her to
him, her hands went to his

britches."

-Kilt.

-Bastard.

-Oh, you know.

[grunts]

-Don't get between us again.

-Damn it.

Elevator's never there
when you want it.

Where Is she?

-She's gone.

-On the elevator?

-On her broom.

-Oh, no.

[shouts]

No, Carolyn, wait.

I don't think you should
go home tonight.

-Oh, right.

I don't think your girlfriend
will understand.

-Oh, no, there's nothing
to understand.

-Oh, men.

First thing you do is get
yourself to that all-night

florist on Water Street.

Two dozen white roses
should do the trick.

-Oh, no, not again.

Ah, back door.

-Back door?

What an offer.

COVENTRY [OFFSCREEN]: Carolyn!

Carolyn, where are you?

I know you're here somewhere.

I heard her voice, didn't I?

Where is she?

-She's not here, Terence.

She's not here, look.

Go home.

-I shall not forget this.

You, sir, are a skunk.

A skunk.

-"Her naked flesh trembled
under his touch.

Slowly, slowly she laid back on
the satin pillows, letting

them caress her ivory skin.

She was about to be transported
beyond any world

she had ever known.

Her every breath anticipated
what she knew must come.

Her silken blond tresses
cascaded over both their

bodies as he caressed her.

She had been kissed by men
before, but never like this."

-Tell me, I must know.

Am I just another conquest
for you?

-[inaudible], of all the women
I have been with, none could

ever match you.

If I live 1,000 years,
none ever could.

-Then take me.

Take me.

[music - "hallelujah!"]

[shouts]

[growls]

[snoring]

-Duncan?

Duncan?

[snoring]

-[sighs]

-Oh, he's here.

Isn't he beautiful?

Mr. MacLeod, Duncan, I'm so
glad you could make it.

-Oh, that's OK.

-Could we have a word, please?

-Not now, Duncan.

We've got to get to work.

And you've got to get
into character.

I had this flown in from Western
Costume in Hollywood.

It's real clan MacLeod tartan.

-It's very nice, but I'm
not here to play

Duncan MacLeod for you.

-Oh, I see.

Well, put it to me in
two words or less.

-Terence Coventry.

-Tim, give me five.

Why bring up Terence Coventry?

He's the villain in my book.

-And he was at your
party yesterday.

Drop the act, Carolyn.

What's between you
and Terence?

-All right.

Terence and I, we were
once an item.

-And?

-And now we're not.

-Oh, so you made him the villain
in your book just to

get back at him.

-Writers do it all the time.

And he deserves it.

-You expect me to walk
away and do nothing.

-I don't want to talk
about this.

-That's a switch.

-Look, I don't need advice
from a cover model.

Are you going to do this Duncan
MacLeod thing or not?

-Hm.

Not.

-Well, who's gonna
wear the kilt?

-Mel Gibson.

-Well, I told you
she was trouble.

-Why go there in the
first place?

-To try to get her to stop.

She can't keep doing
this to Terence.

She can't keep doing
this to me either.

-What, making you a hero?

That-- that's a problem?

-She tried to get me
to wear a kilt.

-Really?

I--

I'd kind of like
you in a kilt.

You've got nice legs.

-Thank you.

Very flattering, but
no thank you.

-Mmm.

So you're finished with
all this, then?

-Absolutely.

-Very nice.

-I just love all
of your books.

-Enjoy.

-Thank you.

-Who shall I dedicate this to?

-How about Terence,
the beastly bore.

-In case you haven't
noticed, I'm busy.

-I know, sticking knives
in my back.

-I have a right to
make a living.

-Not like this.

You can't do this to me.

Do you see a mole?

-What?

-What?

-Am I that ugly?

I ask you again,
am I that ugly?

-Here, let me write something.

"Dear Terence, screw you." I
suggest you take a hike before

Duncan MacLeod gets here.

-Oh.

-You put me down!

I will scream!

-Go head, scream.

CAROLYN MARSH [OFFSCREEN]:
[shouts]

-Now if you thought
Terence was that

mad, why did you leave?

-Because she made me mad, and it
was turning into a circus.

-Right, so she pisses
you off, and you

leave her to the wolves.

Oh, hey, I would have
done the same thing.

-Well, oh, well that's
so noble.

-But what would the real Duncan
MacLeod have done?

-I am the real Duncan MacLeod.

-Well, you know, I don't know
what the fuss is all about,

because to tell the truth,
it wouldn't bother me

if he did kill her.

DUNCAN [VOICE]: You
here for me?

COVENTRY [VOICE]: I'm
here for her.

-What?

-No.

-MacLeod!

I think when the going gets
tough, the tough go shopping.

-What did he look like.

-Well, he was a handsome
brute.

He was so insistent, threw her
over his shoulder and dragged

her out of here.

Oh, it was incredibly
romantic.

-Did you catch a name?

-Sorry.

Oh, wait.

He left this.

Terence.

What did I say?

-Terence, it's my book and I'll
put in it what I want to.

-Not when you use my
name you won't.

And how can you make me such
a tasteless bastard?

-Well, I suppose I should
have made you the hero.

-You should never have
written any of it.

-Are you finished?

-Carolyn, why are
you doing this?

-Look, Terence, let's
just call it quits.

I'll go my way, and
you'll go yours.

-And what about the book?

-That's all you're interested
in, isn't it?

Wait until you see the sequel.

-No.

No, it's not all I'm
interested in.

Look, just come to the house
tonight for dinner.

-What, so your servants can hold
me down and you can put a

knife through my heart?

-It'll just be you and me.

I'll even make dinner.

-All by yourself?

And then we'll sit around for
the next five hours while you

tell me what a hero you've
been and how many

women you've had.

-You talk, and I'll listen.

-[sighs]

That'll be something
different.

-Please.

Just say yes.

-Maybe.

-Hmm.

Hm.

[sighs]

[humming]

-I think Duncan will like
this, don't you?

-He'll love it, on me.

-Oh, I think you should
get last year's model.

I hear it's a little roomier.

-Well, why spend money
on a dress?

It'll come right off the first
guy who gets within 15 feet.

-You both look absolutely
fabulous.

Are you sisters?

-Listen, honey, I'd
forget MacLeod.

You are way out of
your league.

He and I go back a long way.

-Oh, and to think, I wasn't
going to bring age into this.

-Listen, you garden variety
slug, I read your little book.

You think you're going to turn
MacLeod into your fantasy love

with you as the damsel
in distress?

Get real.

Just look at you, you're
not even close.

You never will be.

-How dare you.

[sobbing]

-What did I say?

CAROLYN MARSH [OFFSCREEN]:
[sobbing]

-Hey, are-- are you OK?

-What difference does it make?

Just go away.

-You're not OK.

What the hell do you know?

-I know when someone's
a complete

wreck when I see them.

Look, don't cry.

It's going to be all right.

It's going to be all right.

-That's a $5,000 dress.

-Put it on my card.

Would you just tell
me about it?

-No.

There's this man.

-When isn't there?

It's not MacLeod?

Are you in love with him?

-No, I hate him.

-No, you don't.

Take it from me.

Just tell me what happened.

-You were right.

I'm out of my league.

-He said that to you?

-He didn't have to,
I just know.

-Rule number one with men,
you never assume

what they're thinking.

-Look, I'm sure there's
thousands of guys who would

just be thrilled to be book
covers for Carolyn Marsh.

-Carol Anne Marshack, from
Newark, New Jersey.

Carolyn Marsh is the kind of
name publishers like because

it's classy and elegant,
like you.

-Come on, you had me fooled.

-Right.

Maybe if I lived a few hundred
years like you, I

could get it right.

-How much do you know?

-A little.

A lot.

-Oh boy.

And the books, all that
stuff about the

blade of the MacLeods.

-Well, they're true stories.

And it was a good way to
get back at Terence.

-Terence?

You're in love with
Terence Coventry?

-I was.

We met about six years ago
at a charity ball.

Everyone was in costume,
and he looked

so good in his waistcoat.

Then he started telling me
these stories about some

relative who had been a
wandering bard and a

swordsman for hire.

I told him he should write
a book, and he

just laughed at me.

And I fell in love.

-Well, why not happily
ever after, then?

-Well, he told me about being
immortal, that the stories

were true and they
were about him.

I mean, it was everything I'd
ever dreamed of, read about my

whole life.

He'd been there.

He'd been with princesses
and queens.

He was going to live forever.

And me, I'm just going
to get old and fat.

And I'll always be
from Newark.

It's just a matter of time.

-And so you left him first.

And then you changed all the
stories and came onto MacLeod.

-I wanted to hurt him,
to make him angry.

-Well, congratulations,
it worked.

If he doesn't kill you,
he's going to kill--

oh my god, MacLeod.

-Ugh.

What are you doing here?

-Where is Carolyn?

-On her way.

And we'd like to be alone,
if you don't mind.

-You don't think I'm going to
leave her here with you, do

you?

-Always the hero.

Sounds like you're starting to
believe your own publicity.

What are you planning to do,
be the lady's champion on a

white charger?

If I have to.

-[scowls]

Not again, not now.

-You're not a very good
cook, are you?

-How dare you, sir?

On guard.

I should have finished
you off back then.

-When?

-Back then.

-You couldn't even
finish up a meal.

-Ha!

Missed.

-No, I didn't.

-All right.

-Oh, so you want it
serious, huh?

-[chuckles]

[grunts]

-Oh, Carolyn, hi.

We were just, uh--

-Fighting over me?

How romantic.

-Uh, no.

-Yes!

-Yes.

-You won't have her.

-I don't want her.

-Then why are you here?

-I'm trying to keep
her away from you.

-What kind of hero are
you, coming between

a man and his wife.

-She's your wife?

-Like you didn't know.

-I didn't.

-He didn't.

-You didn't?

-He didn't.

-I wouldn't.

There's nothing between
me and Carolyn.

-That's true.

-Then why'd you leave me?

-She loves you, you big dope.

-What?

Is she serious?

I give up.

-Well, what's there
to understand?

I mean, what did you think was
going to happen, Terence?

All those stories about Terence
Coventry, world's

greatest hero, world's
greatest lover.

I mean, you swept her
off her feet.

-Well, of course I did.

I did?

Then what did I do wrong?

-You were too good to be true.

What woman wants to compete
with Helen of Troy?

-But she can.

You can.

Those stories I told, I told
them to you because I trust

you, because I wanted
you to know me.

Those people, those places,
they were my life.

But you, you Carolyn,
you are my life.

-Oh, Terence.

-Isn't that romantic?

-Let's get out of here, before
this gets embarrassing.

-Hmm.

Why can't you be
more like that?

-Because I'd get arrested.

That's a nice dress.

Where'd you get that?

-Um, I, uh, charged it.

-On what, your library card?

-Think of it as a birthday
present.

-Hey, come back here.

Amanda!

-I'm such a sucker for
romantic stories.

-I couldn't tell.

-So do you think they'll live
happily ever after?

-As a matter of fact, yes.

-[laughs]

You're vain.

And you are and will always
be a big boy scout.

-That's why you love me.

-Do we love each other?

-In our own way.

-And what way is that?

-Amanda, you know this
conversation never turns out

well.

-No, wait-- what never
turns out well.

-When we try to dissect
what we are.

-[sighs]

You sound just like a man.

-I am a man.

-That's beside the point.

-Amanda, what we have is
incredibly special.

It's just not mortal love.

-So?

-So I want you to be
honest with me.

Can you do that?

-Tell me.

Talk.

-How many years could
you see us--

no, decades or centuries could
you see us spending together?

I'm not talking about
every now and then.

I'm talking about every
day, every hour.

-What, you mean until one
of us kills the other?

-Exactly my point.

-[sighs]

It's just not fair.

All a girl wants is a little
romance, to be swept off her

feet every now and then.

Oh, not that's more like it.

[chuckles]

Stop.

-I do love you, Amanda.

-"His hands caressed the
nape of her neck--

hands that have killed,
hands that could wield

the mightiest sword.

Yet now they were at her
service, gentle, strong,

sensitive, tracing the delicate
line of her hair down

her throat, gently
slipping her gown

from one creamy shoulder.

Her breath quickened as his
mouth approached the newly

bared flesh."

-Put the book down.

-But it's just getting good.

-We can do better.

THEME SONG: Here we are, we're
the princes of the universe.

Here we belong, fighting
for survival.

We've come to be the rulers
of your world.

I am immortal.

I have inside me
blood of kings.

I have no rival.

No man can be my equal.

Take me to the future
of your world.