Original subtitles

I'll be with you in a moment.

I suppose you're as surprised as I was to see a money tree like this.

The ones I've seen have always been much taller.

Oh.

I smudged that one. The ink wasn't dry yet.

Last year, my entire crop was wiped out by grasshoppers.

I finally tried insect spray.

but by that time the grasshoppers were so rich they could afford gas masks.

Actually, I have no regard for money, aside from its purchasing power. It's

completely useless as far as I'm concerned.

Unfortunately, the leading characters in tonight's play do not share my

detachment. You shall see what befell them in a moment.

You home already?

I was washing. I didn't know it was so late.

I'll dish your supper right up.

And don't get mad.

Neither won't get mad at nothing, Anna.

Wanted the tenants give you a nice tip, Carl?

The tips I get from them cheapskate tenants, we could starve.

The tenants think a tenant is a dog or something.

It's good enough to throw him a bone.

Ah, you them cheapskates only knew.

Knew what?

But don't the man get his supper? Yeah, right away.

It's all ready. I just have to dish it up.

They had a sale on stew meat today.

I think you're going to like it.

Tonight I'd like anything.

Something good must have happened to you.

Oh, them beer bottles. That's four cents right there.

Four cents.

I look funny or something?

Sure you look funny.

But that ain't why I'm laughing.

You stop off at Otto's bar?

I get drunk tonight, I ain't going to no cheap place like Otto's.

I'll eat your stew.

Maybe I'll eat my stew and maybe I'll go out on this steak.

What happened to you anyway?

I never heard you talk like this before.

Did the boss give you a raise?

The boss.

He's a cheapskate, just like the tenants.

Fair chance they get a raise.

What are you so happy about, then?

Shut up with the questions. Eat.

The cheapskate tenants.

The boss.

With his tie and his stick pin.

There goes Carl Kaminsky, taking out the garbage.

They hold their noses.

If they only knew.

Knew what, Carl? Come on, tell me.

Kaminsky, the janitor, the dog.

Threw him a bone.

That's what you think.

You, the boss, the tenants, all of them.

Don't you?

You must have had a beer or something.

Yeah, you like what it is.

When the mince goes by, you hold your nose.

Well, hold your nose at this.

A wallet.

Don't go grabbing.

Where'd you find it?

Under a paper I picked up.

Swell leather, ain't it? You think the leather's swell?

Look at this.

$100 bill.

They're all $100 bills. All 52 of them.

52?

$5 ,200?

My God!

You think them cheapskate tenants would hold their noses if I walked by now?

$5 ,200.

Gee, I wonder who lost it. There's no name, no driver's license, no nothing.

Just the $5 ,200.

Imagine what a person could buy with money like that.

I was downtown shopping today, and I was just thinking... You buy anything?

No, I never buy nothing. I was just looking.

See, they have the most beautiful things in those stores.

Look, I'm happy that I don't make no money. I know it. I know you can't,

I can't help liking beautiful things, neither.

I seen a manicure set there today I'd give anything for.

A manicure set?

Yeah.

I used to have very pretty hands and nails.

Everybody said they were my best feature.

Look at them now. You ought to handle garbage on the ash cans all day and see

how your hands would look.

Carl, how much of a reward do you think you might get?

Whoever you turn that money into is sure going to give you a big reward. My

gosh.

$5 ,200?

I'll bet they might even give you $100, maybe, or more.

Yeah, I think I'm going to return it.

No name, no nothing.

Yeah.

Maybe you could ask at the police station. I bet they could tell you how

the man.

Police? Oh, sure.

Or we could read the papers. Hey, that's a good idea. We could read the ads in

the papers.

Gee, anybody who lost that much money is sure going to put an ad in the paper.

Oh, Ed, I said.

I can't. I'm so excited. My stomach's all nervous.

I've got to take some of that medicine of mine.

Any money on medicine?

We can't afford nerves.

Get that into your head.

I don't take very much of it.

Anyway, I didn't buy this. My sister gave it to me. You know that.

Hey, listen, Carl.

You wasn't thinking of keeping that money, was you?

She said I was going to keep it. Now, that wouldn't be right.

Maybe that's the life savings of some poor old lady.

Or maybe some young couple got it together to buy a new house where there

wouldn't be right to keep it. I ain't gonna keep it.

Besides, you're gonna get a big reward, I know that.

I'll bet you it'll be even more than $100. Maybe it'll be $200 even, or $300.

Carl, if you get that reward, do you think maybe I could buy that manicure

It's only $5 .95.

You ain't got a reward, you ain't got anything, and you want to spend $5 .95?

I only said maybe.

Answer it, Nana.

Me? Well, I ain't going to the door with all this money in my pocket when I

don't know who it is.

Who do you suppose it is at supper time?

Answer it.

I'm coming.

Yes? Does Carl Grominski live here?

Yes, I'm Mrs. Kaminsky.

Is your husband home?

Well, uh... Do you want to see me?

Are you Carl Kaminsky? Yeah.

What do you want?

Money, Mr. Kaminsky.

Money.

All right, copper, you'll get it.

How do you get my name?

From the people next door.

I always do that when we raise money for the police benevolent fund.

You're collecting money for the policeman's fund, you say? That's right.

minute. I didn't know where I kept my money.

Is this okay?

Oh, yes, sir. Well, that fun thanks you very much. Good night.

Oh, officer.

Yes, lady.

Uh, just before you come, my husband and I, uh... My husband and I was

wondering, what would you do if you found something that was lost?

Well, you return it to the owner, lady.

Well, what if you don't know who the owner is?

Well, if there's no identification, you can do one of three things. You can

advertise, or you can check the ads, or you can turn the article over to the

police lost and found department.

If at the end of six months the owner hasn't claimed the article, you can

it for yourself.

Why? What was it you found?

Oh, well, it wasn't me. It was the elevator man in the building where I

Well, you tell him he's got to make a sincere effort to find the owner or he's

got to turn it over to the police.

If he doesn't, he's breaking the law. He can go to jail.

I'll tell him.

I'm looking for the ad. What ad?

For the wallet, naturally.

Where's my breakfast?

Lost.

Siamese calf.

Lockered with baby picture.

Pair of glasses. Oh, here's another calf.

Where's my breakfast?

Oh, here's your coffee. I'll get you oatmeal right away.

How's a man supposed to work if he don't eat?

Lost bill.

Here it is. Look.

Lost, vicinity of 12th Street yesterday.

Bill fold with initials G .E. stamped.

Generous reward to finder.

Call W .A.

62131 or apply 713 St. James Road.

If he's so generous, why doesn't he pay for an ad? People can see.

Call W .A.

62131 or apply 713 St. James Road. Come on, why don't you call him?

Let me drink my coffee.

Oh, come on. Don't you want to find out how much the reward's going to be? Ain't

you interested?

Yeah, sure.

But I think it's better I go there instead of phoning.

Why?

I suppose that cop last night had called up and said he was coming to collect

for the police fund.

You think I'd give him five dollars if I'd had a chance to think it over?

Get my oatmeal.

It'll be the same with this fellow.

I call him, I say I got his money.

Boy, is he happy. He's willing to give me five hundred dollars.

$500? My gosh!

Yeah, when he first hears about it, he's so happy.

But then he's got an hour or two to think things over, and he says to

$500 is a lot of money to give somebody for bending over and picking a wallet up

off the street.

$300 ought to be plenty, or maybe $100.

By the time I give him the money, I'll be lucky if I get $20.

Why don't you call him up and ask him on the telephone first how much it's going

to be?

What's there to keep him from changing his mind between now and when I give him

the money?

Gee, I can't hardly wait to find out how much that reward's going to be, Carl.

I'll go there after work.

I could take it over. I could go over this afternoon.

I found it. I'll take it.

One thing I'll say about you, Anna.

You make a good cup of coffee.

Which was what? The reward.

Remember I told you about the taxi driver who found the $100 and got only

reward?

He didn't give you just $2. No, he didn't give me $2. He gave me nothing.

Nothing. He said thanks.

Nothing at all?

You've got a tonight's paper here.

Why? I'm going to find the number of that so -and -so and I'm going to call

up and tell him what I think of him.

No, Anna.

Why not? We could have kept the money.

Why, you didn't want to.

You said it might belong to some old lady or some young couple saving for a

house. I bet it wasn't nobody like that, was it?

Well, no.

I'm going to call him.

I'm going to call him.

You ain't, Anna. You do and you're going to be sorry. Why?

Well, this is a rich, important fellow.

How do I know he don't know the guy who owns the building where I work?

How do I know he can't get me fired?

You call him, you're going to be sorry, see?

Yeah. Quit me a mess, Joppa.

Are you done?

No.

Still mad about that reward.

Oh, forget about it. That was over two weeks ago.

Oh, what does that matter?

Look at this house. It's like a pig pen.

That stove's all falling apart. I can't get it clean.

The whole house is a mess.

If I just had a little money, I could make everything so pretty. I could have

some curtains.

And look at my hands. Look at my hands.

Oh, never mind.

I'll fix you lunch.

First I got to get these papers in the oven.

Give me a piece of them papers so I can try to get the grease off of this stove.

These papers are worth money. I'll give you one page. It's not going to kill

you. Anything to you. Shut up.

Stamped with letters G .E. lost in vicinity of 12th Street two weeks ago.

Extremely anxious for its return.

Generous reward. Call... Go walk in six.

Open the door, Carl.

What do you want?

Go away!

Oh, you don't want me to go away?

Or I might go to that man's house on St. James Road.

What man?

Don't try to fool me no more, Carl.

You want to keep the money, it's all right with me.

But I want my share.

And don't try to hide it from me, neither. I may have to ask the police to

and help me find it.

Ain't they pretty?

It's called nasturtium red.

You like the color?

Oh, you don't have to worry about the money.

They said you don't have to pay all the first of the month. They were very nice

about opening the charge account.

As soon as I told them how you worked in the same place for so long, we owned

this house and everything, they was fine.

Why?

Just because I want to look nice?

Just because I want the house to look nice?

Wait to see the pretty curtains I ordered.

I couldn't hardly wait for you to come home. You're going to be so surprised.

Come on now, close your eyes.

Now don't look till I tell you.

Keep your eyes closed.

Okay.

Isn't that the most beautiful furniture you ever saw?

Isn't it a pretty coffee table? Yeah. See? And these chairs.

They both match to the sofa.

And then I got these two... You've got to stop this buying things. Why? We've

got plenty of money.

You think it's going to last forever?

I got the two pillows for $1 .98. What's this, a new dress?

Yeah, I got it in the basement, $11 .95.

And I got me some hand lotion, too. It was only 59 cents on sale. It makes my

hands so smooth. Feel, feel how...

You slapped my hand.

So what?

You're all upset, Carl. You ought to...

Better take some of that nerve medicine in the morning. I'm going out.

Well, supper's almost ready. I'm going out, I said.

What's that?

It's a fur coat.

Ain't it beautiful?

A fur coat? You're a Chinese wife. What do you want with a fur coat?

There ain't a woman in the world don't want a fur coat.

And I finally got mine. You got it now, but you ain't gonna have it long because

right now you're gonna have to telephone and phone that store and tell them to

come and get that coat.

All right, I'll call them if you want, if you say so.

I say so.

But I also call WA62131.

Go ahead.

Or maybe I might even call the police lost and found. I think they'd be very

interested to know how long you kept that money. You remember that the

said that there was a law against it?

You are in this just as much as I am. You found the money, I didn't. I found

money and I'm going to keep it, see?

Not unless I get my share, you ain't. Your share? You want everything?

I don't! But I'm sick of this stingy penny -pinching life with you.

You and your newspapers and your bottles, you old junk man.

You're nothing but a rock miser.

Now that we've got a little bit of money, I'm going to have a few of the

that other women have.

I'm going to bust you real good.

No, you wouldn't have the nerve. You wouldn't dare.

The worst you ever did was slap my hand. You wouldn't have the nerve to slap me

real hard.

Like this.

Go ahead. Call the police. Do anything.

But understand one thing.

That fur coat is going back. So is everything else you bought.

Including that stuff for.

Your best feet, I say they are.

You certainly ain't got nothing else.

for us.

Never mind.

I thought I lost something.

But I just this minute found it.

Thank you very much.

I brought you a cup of coffee.

I suppose you brought the police for me, too, huh?

I changed my mind. I decided not to call them.

And I'm going to send the fur coat and furniture back, just like you said.

Here's your coffee.

So we ain't going to buy no more stuff, huh?

No, not unless you say so. Here, drink your coffee.

Just a second.

Why did you change your mind?

Well, I decided that it wasn't fair. After all, you found the money. I

So you ain't gonna buy nothing less, I say, sir?

No, never.

Drink your coffee before it gets cold.

How come you still ain't got that fair coat on?

I decided to wear it a little longer.

Looks pretty on me, don't it?

Get up. I'd like to see the back of that coat.

How dumb do you think I am?

One thing I've got to say about you, Anna.

You sure make a good cup of coffee.

Naturally, no one was the winner in that little merry -go -round.

No one except the local art store owner.

The demand for statuettes shot up to astronomical heights.

It was surpassed only by the amount of coffee that was sold.

By the way, I thought my money tree was a bad influence on me, so I sold it.

However, I had the foresight to strip it completely.

Void if detached.

Good night.

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