Original subtitles

Come and knock on our door. Come and knock on our door.

We've been waiting for you.

We've been waiting for you. Where the kisses are heard and heard and kissed.

We've come for you too.

Come and dance on our floor.

Come and dance on our floor. Take a step that is new. Take a step that is new.

We've a lovable space that needs your face.

We've come for you too.

You'll see that life is a ball of...

You've got to be that idiot who just moved in next door.

Oh, how could he be so inconsiderate? Really, Jack, it's the middle of the

night. I'm going to go over there and wrap that fax around his neck. Jack,

Don't you think you ought to get dressed first?

Hey, Terry, I'm not trying to impress him. I just want to shut him up.

That's me.

Hey, you sound great, really.

You came running all the way over here in your underwear just to tell me that?

Well, good music makes me move.

I just wanted to welcome you to the apartment.

You just moved in, right?

That's great.

It's a little chilly out here.

Oh, well, we can take care of that. Come on in. You bet.

Will you shut the door, please? You got it.

Well, come on over here.

Hurt me.

make you warm.

Oh, well, thank you very, very much.

I'm Arlene Price.

Jack Tripper. How are you? Good, Jack. So, you're a musician, huh? No, I just

play to relax.

Actually, I'm an artist.

An artist?

Really?

Is this one of your paintings? Uh -huh.

Oh. You know, I'm somewhat of an artist, too.

Really? I'm a chef.

My canvas is the frying pan.

Oh. You might say I work in oils, Olive.

Safflower. And a lot of corn.

That's true.

That's me.

But I really love good art.

Really? Who are your favorite painters?

Painters? Um... Whistler.

Whistler? Sure.

Why would you pick him?

Well, he was always very nice to his mother.

Did you know he never painted her when she was off her rocker?

Anything else you can enlighten me on?

I'm sure there is.

I mean about art.

Art who?

Oh, art, art.

No, no, no. You're the artist around here, and from what I can see, really a

good one, too.

Do you really like them?

Yeah. Well, look, take this, for instance.

To the untrained eye, it just might seem that you splashed the paint on here

recklessly, but I can see that you had an overall pattern in mind, and I really

appreciate the keen use of your...

Face and color.

Very nice. What do you call it? My palette.

You what?

It's where I mix my paint.

Ah! Well, you do a very good job of that. I'll tell you.

I was going to have a glass of wine. Would you care to join me?

Would I?

Jack, it's us.

Yeah, are you all right in there?

Who are they?

Bag ladies.

in the shopping cart downstairs, all right?

Are you coming home?

Yes, in a second.

You live with those bag ladies? Well, uh, the... I think that's horrific.

You do?

Yes. When I moved into this neighborhood, I thought it was so

It's good to know there's some people around here without any hang -ups. Hey,

hang -ups to hang up this kid.

How about some wine?

Oh, well, it sounds like you should be getting back to your roommates.

The what?

Oh, them. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it is a little late.

How about tomorrow night?

Oh, well, I'm kind of busy tonight. I'm teaching an art class down at the

community center.

Really? Mm -hmm.

You know something? I've always wanted to take up...

painting. I don't suppose there'd be enough room for me in your art class.

What do you think? Well, sure.

I mean, it's open to anybody in the community. Why don't you come tomorrow

night? We could have a drink afterwards.

Now, that is a great idea. Great. Room 202, 8 o 'clock.

202, 8 o 'clock. I'll see you then. Good night.

Jack? Yeah? Haven't you forgotten something?

Of course.

My robe. Your robe.

Ciao.

Au revoir.

Okay, Terry, what's keeping him?

I guess it takes time to wrap a sax around someone's neck.

Jeff, Jeff, what took you so long?

Wouldn't you let it in?

Well, Terry, you know, Janet, things were getting a little ugly, and I didn't

want you girls around in case I had to get physical.

No kidding. What happened?

Well, it's man stuff. Let's just say I came on pretty strong.

Way to go, Jack.

Thanks a lot, Jack. Now we can all get some sleep around here.

I thought you took care of everything.

I did.

Then what's that?

Stardust.

I'll see you later, lady.

Well, you have to.

I'm going to an art class.

You?

What is it that you find so tremendously humorous?

Come on, Jack.

You remember that birthday card you made for Terry one time that had that funny

-looking chicken on it?

That was not a chicken. That was Terry.

So can I learn?

Is it a crime to try to take advantage of the cultural activities that this

community has to offer?

Hey, Jack, we didn't mean that... No, I'm serious. Jack, did you get a look at

the gorgeous art teacher that moved in next door?

Whoa!

What a fox!

Art teacher?

Yeah, Furley says she teaches a class downtown.

You big phony.

I didn't start any trouble, did I?

Yes, you did.

Oh, goody, goody, goody, goody. Mind if I take a link that I see? You're out of

here, Larry.

Well, come on, can't I listen? Out. Oh, come on, Jack, I haven't had any fun all

day. You're out.

Jack, you are really unbelievable.

Yes, you'd do just about anything to make it with a girl, wouldn't you? No,

you see, you two think that I'm taking this art class just to hit on the

teacher? Oh, no, of course not. But it's a good thing she doesn't teach

skydiving.

Crazy Jack, we know you. No, see, that's the trouble with you two. You're always

thinking the worst. And we're usually right. Uh -uh. No, I'll tell you why I'm

taking this art class. I'm taking it to improve myself, to make myself a more

interesting person.

And if you don't believe that, that's your problem.

I believe him.

Hi, Jack. I'll be with you in just a minute. Oh, hey, come on. Take your

Take your time.

terrible. I know. I'll run out and buy another one.

I ate the banana.

Oh, never mind about that. That was my model on the phone. He says he can't

it tonight.

He can't?

Well, I guess that means that we have the whole night to ourselves.

No, that means I still have to give the class.

It'll have to be a lecture, and I hate lecturing. It gives me such a headache.

How long do these headaches last?

I mean, why can't you get your students to paint something else? You know, like

this basket of fruit here.

Well, because, Jack, this is a class in figure drawing.

Oh, I'd give anything to lay my hands on a model.

Hey, Arlene, if it means that much to you, I'll pose for you. You?

Sure. Have you ever modeled before?

No, but how hard can it be? I'll give you anything you want. What do you need?

High fashion?

Or low fashion?

You want something classical like... The archer.

Or the archer's son.

Don't kill me, Daddy!

Contemporary. Hoo -ah, laid back.

I got more. What do you want? No, I don't need any more, Jack. You can get

undressed in there. Great.

Undressed? Well, sure, Jack. You can't pose in the nude with your clothes on.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, I knew that.

I'm so glad you're here and not somebody who... uptight about taking off his

clothes. Uh, how, how, how do you know I'm not uptight?

Well, Jack, anyone who wanders around the neighborhood in his underwear can't

too uptight. Yeah, but see, that, that, that, uh, when I, when, okay, when we

met... Jack, you don't have any hang -ups about posing for me.

Hang, hang -ups, me?

I didn't think so. You can find a robe in there.

I hope so.

as you can.

As promised, tonight we'll be sketching the nude male.

Our original model canceled, but a friend of mine has graciously agreed to

in.

Jack? Uh,

Jack? Are you ready?

Marlene? Uh -huh?

You know something? I've been thinking. Who are they?

Well, they're my students, Jack.

Oh.

Let's get you set over here.

Okay.

Jack, we could see you a lot better if you sat on the stool. I know.

Good.

Now, let's just move a little to the left.

Now, turn your head to the side.

Good, good, good.

Now, just one more thing.

Huh? Drop your robe.

Bombs away.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Mr. Pearly, listen, the goosebumps are gone. Thank you very much, and I really

appreciate you fixing the heater in my bedroom. All right, bye -bye -bye.

Hey, Jack, tell us about your art class. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Uh, some other time.

No, come on, Jack.

We know what happened last night.

You do?

Yeah. So why don't you just show us so we can all have a good laugh, too?

You must have made a complete fool of yourself.

Oh, well, as a matter of fact, the teacher did say that my sketches were

good and that I showed great promise.

What? You're kidding.

Oh, no.

Mr.

Farley.

Mr. Farley. Yes.

Promise me you won't mention anything to the girls about seeing me pose last

night. Please. I gotta go. Hi, Mr. Farley. Hi, Mr. Farley. Hi.

Did Jack tell you I bumped into him last night? You saw Jack last night?

In the flesh.

Where? In art class.

Since when did you get interested in art?

Well, I found out the classes were free. Well, thank you very much for stopping

by. No, wait, Jack, wait, wait.

Did you get to see any of Jack's work?

I saw all of it.

Is he any good?

Good? I have never seen so much raw talent.

Really? Yeah, I can honestly say that I saw a side of Jack I had never seen

before.

Now, don't you think it's about time for you girls to be getting dressed?

Oh, right. I can't be late today, right? See you, Mr. Furley. Yeah, bye, Mr.

Furley. Bye -bye.

Well, how'd I do, Jack?

I didn't mention one word about the posing. You were amazing. Thanks a lot.

What are friends for?

Hi, Mr. Curley. Hi. Arlene, what are you doing here?

Well, I came by to see if you were all right.

You left so fast last night, I didn't get a chance to see you after class.

Didn't you see enough of them during class?

Thank you, Mr. Curley.

I brought something for you.

Oh, thank you.

Let's see.

It's me.

All of me.

Do you like it? I did it myself after class.

From memory, really.

It's very natural.

Thank you.

Well, I've got to be running along.

Good. I mean, goodbye, because I have to be running along, too. I'll talk to you

later. Thanks a lot. Very thoughtful.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

Um, listen, we were wondering, did the mail come yet?

Uh, I didn't look.

I'll take a look. No, you won't. Why?

Because I'll take a look. Take a look for the mail, okay, while you two girls

on into the kitchen and have yourselves a second cup of coffee. Oh, why, thank

you, Jack.

Yeah, that is very nice of you, Jack.

Hey, look what I found outside your door, Jack.

What is it, Larry?

Isn't it obvious what this is?

You know, wrapped in a brown paper bag. Are you kidding me? Come on, you've

heard about these sick people leaving things like this on your doorstep?

This can only be smut.

Let's take a look. Not in front of the girls. Larry, what's wrong with you?

take this out of here. What do you want me to do with it? I don't care what you

do with that filth. Just get rid of it. Okay, okay.

You're starting to sound like my mother.

What?

Well, I better go get dressed.

Oh, hang on a second, Jack, please. There was something that Terry and I

to say to you. Huh? Yeah, we're sorry we made fun of you before.

Yeah, Jack.

We didn't know that you were really interested in art. We owe you a great

apology.

Don't you think it's a little late for that?

Jack. No.

The guy tries to improve himself instead of sitting around stagnating, and what

does he get for it? Oh, come on, Jack. Don't get mad. I'm not mad. I'm hurt.

After all these years, I thought you girls would know me better than that.

Larry, Larry.

Oh, hi, Jack. Listen, about that package I gave you. Guess what, Jack. I have a

date with Marilyn Campbell. That's nice, but about... Nice?

It's Marilyn Campbell, the gal who said no to every guy here, and she is going

out with me tonight. I'm very happy for you, Larry, but about that package I

asked you to get rid of.

You mean the naked picture of you? Shh.

What? Jack, would you relax? I got rid of it just like you asked me to. Oh,

Frank Black. Okay.

Frank, a beer for my friend Jack?

Oh, okay. Coming right up.

I can use it here.

I can't tell you how good it feels not to have to worry about that darn picture

anymore.

Something

wrong

with the beer?

How, how, how, how, how, how, how? Hey, hey, guys! I think he noticed his

picture.

You gave my picture to the Beagle? I didn't give it to them.

Oh, sorry.

I sold it. You bought it?

Yeah, for $20.

Here's your share. Ten big ones. Really?

How could you? You told me to get rid of it. You didn't say where.

I'm going to kill you.

Jack, I don't see what you're getting so upset about. That's a very good

likeness. Larry!

Of course, she did exaggerate a little.

Your shoulders aren't quite that wide.

Frank, Frank, you've got to get rid of that painting.

Hey, guys, Jack wants me to get rid of his painting. What do you say?

No! Well, you heard the public, Jack.

Are you satisfied now I'll never be able to show my face around here again?

It's not your face you have to worry about.

I am going to kill you, Larry, you know that? Come on, Jack, I'm just kidding.

It's not as bad as you think. Oh, sure, easy for you to say. It's not you up

there. Of course not.

I do have my principles. Excuse me.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, girls, you have to go home right now.

Hey!

I got it. It's so dull here. It's really yawn city. I got an idea. How about if

we go on home and I'll make you the best dinner you've ever had in your life?

Hey, good idea.

I thought so.

But first, let's just eat each other a little quick like the wine. No, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no.

Can we eat each other?

into it, and I just didn't know how to say no.

Jack, don't be so modest. You said you wanted to be more interesting, and you

certainly are.

You certainly aren't stagnating up there.

You guys are real good friends. You know that. I'm really proud to know you. Oh,

come on. We won't mention anything.

No,

we won't. What do you think of our centerfold, Jack Stripper?

Larry, why don't you go far, far away?

until you've met someone very special.

Marilyn, I would like you to meet Janet and Terrence. Hi. Hello.

And this is Jack, our local celebrity.

Hi. Haven't I seen you somewhere?

No, no, no.

Wait a minute.

That's you above the bar.

This is never going to end. Yeah, well, folks, we'll see you later. Come on,

Marilyn. No, wait.

No, Jack.

I really like that picture.

You did?

Oh, yes.

There's something about it. There's something crazy. Let's go, Marilyn. I

it's the soulful look in your eyes.

Well, a lot of people have told me that.

I have a feeling there's more to you than meets the eye.

Not much more.

I'd really like to get to know you better. Are you doing anything tonight?

Not a thing. Oh, Marilyn, Marilyn.

Marilyn, don't you think three's a crowd?

You're right, Larry.

We'll make it some other time. Excuse us. One thing. You really like that

picture? Oh, yeah.

Good. I'll have one made up for your wallet.

Excuse us.

Yeah,

well, okay.

Great. Thanks, Frank. I really appreciate you calling. Bye -bye.

See you, Franklin.

He just wanted to let me know that he took down the picture at the Regal

They finally get tired of you begging, huh?

Are you kidding me? It was the guys down at the Beagle who did the begging.

Why?

They said it was unfair competition.

No way.

That doesn't say much for the guys down at the Beagle.

Hi, Janet. Hi, Mr. Furley. Come on in.

Jack, would you like me to give you a lift to art class tonight?

Uh, no thanks, RF. I think I've had enough art for a long time. Thank you

much. Yeah, it left him cold.

Don't start on me again, please.

Sorry, sorry.

I better be going. I don't want to be late for class.

Okay. Oh, would you like to see some of my work?

Uh, no. We don't want you to be late for class, Mr. Ferling. Right, but you

don't want to keep your teacher waiting. Yeah, you're right.

I'll show you this picture I made of Jack tomorrow.

Okay. Wait!

Let him go. He'll be late.

Shut up, Jack.

Three's company was videotaped in front of a studio audience.