Original subtitles

Oh, good morning, Mr.

Taylor. Not so far. There's a gremlin with Nevada plates in my parking spot.

What's all this?

It looks terrible.

It's the book for the book drive ad.

Sir, I just know you'll get the community service award for this. Well,

the books don't reach their destination.

I'm supposed to go right to the schools.

What idiot had them sent here? That would be me.

Roger, this project is called Classics for the Classroom.

Don't you think we ought to actually get them to the classroom?

Oh, not till we put one of these coupons in every book.

Problem, Taylor?

As a matter of fact, sir? Yes, there is. Old Ronnie boy here doesn't like my

coupons. See, sir, I thought the candy division could work the education angle.

Literary classics and sugar bomb gum.

Two good things to chew on. Sir, the program is to show kids the exciting,

commercial -free world of books.

The president loves this program.

He said so in a speech at my club.

I had it on tape. It is such a noble cause, sir. And a honey of a tax break.

This book drive means a lot to me, sir. I'd like to shepherd it home. I can't

spare you from a new project. I can do both. No.

But, Mr.

Kingsley, please.

If you keep giving my projects to Roger, people are going to think you don't

have faith in me. You're a startup, man. You build a foundation. That's

important.

Any idiot can handle the ribbon -cutting, butt -kissing part of the job.

You don't think he meant me, do you, when he was talking about idiots?

No.

No, you're too good at what you do.

You think?

Absolutely.

That phony smile of yours, yeah, almost looks real.

Thanks, man.

One moment, please.

Mr. Taylor, it's your wife.

Now what?

Caitlin's changed her mind.

She can't. You tell her that.

You have to come home. The lawyer is honestly here to pick up the... I am not

doing this alone.

But today is the community service lunch.

So you'll be late. I can't be late. I'm on the dais. What will people think?

Well, what will people think if I send your daughter down there to get you?

Oh.

Sign the papers, Caitlin. The lawyer's on his way.

I'm not going to give up my baby.

And how do you plan to take care of it?

I'll quit school and go on welfare.

And that's not even going to cover diapers.

Meat said he'd get a job. His name is not Meat.

It's Michael.

Nobody's name is Meat.

I'll live with him in his mother's garage.

This is just great.

I spearhead the teen literacy and education program at work. My own

about to become a high school dropout unwed mother on welfare.

I'll be a laughing stock.

Who cares what people think? There is a baby. Maybe we need to worry about here.

Too bad you didn't feel that way about your own daughter.

Excuse me?

Well, this never would have happened if you'd just stayed home. But no, you had

to have a career.

You're blaming me for this?

Yes.

Caitlin has always had problems.

Ever since she was little, she needed a mother who was home for her. I can't

even believe I am hearing this. I should have said it years ago and made you

quit your job.

Made me? Yes.

And then what? Take away my right to vote?

Neanderthal.

The gremlin is still in my space.

And there's a defective sprinkler on the far end of the parking lot, which is

where I had to park because there's a gremlin in my space.

Yeah, Mr. Taylor, you should hurry upstairs.

My girlfriend in the executive dining room said they've just finished serving

dessert. Really? Yeah.

I might be in time for the speeches. Well, and the awards.

Here, cover the wet spot on your pants. Oh.

Nice pants.

No wonder you missed the lunch. Too bad, because you missed this.

The community service!

You got it, sir.

Congratulations. Oh, my goodness.

Thanks. I never expected it.

You! Hey, Raj.

Hey, what are you doing here?

My kid brother, Mike.

I've met meat.

We've met, haven't we, meat?

Kind of, I guess.

Let's go.

He wants to show me his new car, Gremlin.

I got a spot right out in front.

That's you in my space?

It was the only empty space.

Who do you think you are?

You come into my parking space.

You come into my life.

You put whatever you want wherever you want it. And you don't care who has to

suffer. Ron, pal, take it easy. Hey, hey, no, Roger, pal.

You take it easy.

And... Take this stupid award.

And take these stupid pills for your stupid

coupons. And then take this maggot brother of yours and get out

of here. Get him out of here before I rip him apart with my bare hands.

Taylor, control yourself.

I don't want to have to fire you. Oh, go ahead, fire me.

No, wait, wait, wait, don't. Don't fire me.

Because I quit.

Yeah, that's right. I am walking out of this spirit -crushing, heart -numbing

factory while I still have a little, single, teeny, tiny shred of

human dignity left.

I am out of here.

Mr. Taylor?

Mr.

Taylor? I don't think he's breathing.

What do you think we should do?

Call legal. See if we're liable.

You will go back on all your memories to change the course of your life.

You are a free agent in the universe.

Hello, Ron.

I'm Mr. Jones.

Jones?

I, uh, I remember falling.

Wow, that's pretty wild. I must be on some major pain medication.

How bad was I hurt?

Pretty bad.

Was I, uh, paralyzed?

No, but you were killed.

Killed? From slipping on a book?

Pride and prejudice.

The file broke your neck?

How humiliating.

The gang at the company paper must have had a field day. What was my obit?

Literacy kills or books? Hidden health hazard.

See for yourself.

Actually, it was quite nice.

Asked it to the community on timely death.

Leaves behind a wife and teenage daughter.

My girls.

I've got some insurance, but they'll still probably have to sell the house.

Perhaps they'll buy a bigger one.

Oh, see, when you died, the company's law firm got there before the

And they parked in the emergency vehicle lane.

Your girls may get quite a settlement.

Are you saying it's a good thing I died?

Who's the crazy old coot?

That's the judge who will decide your eternal fate.

Wash up for nectarine and ambrosia puffs. And save one

for me.

Babysitting? I thought he was an important judge.

Important people for important work.

Mr. Taylor, it is my somber duty to inform you of some very

serious charges.

Uh, sir, excuse me. You got the... What?

Dog. Oh.

Dog.

Yes, go, puppy dog.

Now, then, where was I?

Yes, Taylor.

You failed your daughter.

I know.

And I don't understand how it happened.

I worked night and day, we both did, to give her everything.

Everything? But yourself.

Yeah, I know.

Well, Levitt's the engine. His staff can't tie their shoes without him.

Well, just set a meeting with him.

Hang on. I don't see how I'm up to my eyebrows.

Can you make some time? I mean, you've never taken her. Not once.

That's because I don't believe in it.

Six months went by quick, and she still hasn't spoken a word.

Fine, fine. I'll take her. Let me just go to... No, don't cry.

Poor Caitlin.

We're both so stressed, we don't even see her.

Good sign, Your Honor.

He understands the problem.

It shouldn't have been that way.

It wouldn't have turned out that way if Tammy had quit her job and stayed home.

Why didn't she?

Well, we needed the money.

We get that excuse a lot up here.

I would have moved up the ladder a lot faster if Tammy had been there to back

up. I was on my way. The boss liked me.

What is this, Mabel?

Oh, Birch.

I made it myself.

Nice job. When I have time, I'm going to build Caitlin a swing set.

I made an end table in high school.

Oh.

We still have it.

It leans a little to the left, but sometimes so do I.

Do I smell something burning?

What happened?

I followed the recipe.

Well, now what do we do? I don't know. Say a prayer and scatter that seed.

Tammy, this is important.

Roger's wife served the boss Cornish game hen with truffle sauce.

Your wife is going to serve the boss. Take a Chinese food.

Roger served his Cornish game hen with truffle sauce.

I was so tense about the botched dinner that I drank a little too much and

argued with the boss over giving another one of my projects to Roger. I'm more

concerned about the fact that you never did build that swing set.

The pieces are still in the garage.

I know.

I screwed up my whole life. I died a stupid death.

You know, I don't even care what you do to me.

I just wish I had a chance to give Caitlin a happier life.

Contrition, Your Honor.

And without coaching.

So, Mr. Taylor, if you had it to do over, you'd do it differently?

If only I could.

I'd give anything for her to have a better childhood.

Then it is the decision of this court that you be given a life sentence.

You will have three days and three days only at a point in your life most

critical to the future of your soul.

How you take advantage of that time is up to you. Sorry. You will go back with

all your memories intact, but no one will recognize you.

You are a free agent in the universe with the blessing of God Almighty and

court.

As it was 12 years ago.

Wait a minute. Who am I supposed to be?

I look like meat.

The judge is big on that sort of thing.

Tolerance, humility.

Here, turn around.

Handy Randy?

The tool dude.

That's you.

You're here to fix the backyard fence.

I'm a punk handyman?

I look ridiculous.

You've always been so hung up on appearances.

We thought maybe we could break you of that habit while you're back. Sort of a

two -for -one miracle.

Oh, hi. Come on in.

Wow.

You look great.

Excuse me?

I mean, you look great.

Thank you.

Come on in.

The fence is outside, of course. I was hoping you could tell me how much it

might cost to build a new computer station.

Yeah.

Okay, uh, kitchen.

I was thinking somewhere in here. You know, maybe over here?

Why don't I go get the sketch of what I had in mind?

Sure. Okay, yeah.

Oh, boy.

She looks great.

Sort of sad.

This is great.

We haven't done the kitchen remodel yet.

That means we haven't taken out the home equity loan.

You know, without those payments, we could probably make it on just my

What's your plan?

Well, I think, uh, first I'll start by giving her a little bit on the computer

station. That'll get me in the house.

Then I'll, uh, I'll start brainwashing them.

Well, or us, I should say, into thinking that Tammy should quit her job.

You've only got three days.

Yeah, well...

You know, I won't have any problem with me.

I never wanted her to work.

The key here is to convince Tammy.

It usually works best when you affect some kind of change in yourself.

Hey, just whose life are we talking about here?

I think I can handle this.

Okay, here's the sketch.

And my number for my assistant, Georgia.

We'll have to keep in touch through her.

I'm leaving on business tonight, and then we'll be back in about three days.

Okay.

Three days?

I only have three days.

I can't convince Tammy to quit her job if she's out of town.

Well, now what do I do?

Pray for the airport to be fogged in?

Hey, could you arrange that? Maybe...

Pull a few strings.

Talking to yourself, Handy Randy?

Uh -oh.

See, when I'm dressed like this, only you can see me.

Uh, yeah, I guess I am.

Come on, sweetie, I'm gonna get you some juice.

There you go.

Well, hi.

Well, I like your puppy dogs.

Don't take it personally. Caitlin hasn't started to talk yet. She's a little

shy.

Well, thank you.

Good dog.

Good dog!

Honey, honey, you're not going to believe what just happened. Caitlin just

up to Handy Randy and started playing with him like she's known him her whole

life.

I've never seen her respond to someone like that before.

Well, great. Let's pay him to be her shrink.

Handyman's got to be cheaper than a psychologist.

Don't count on it.

Anyway, here are the takeout menus and the emergency phone numbers from my

itinerary in Chicago.

I'm going to put the notebook next to the fridge.

Repeat after me. The notebook is next to the fridge. Yeah, yeah. The notebook is

next to the fridge. Good. Now.

Okay, which of these suits makes me look more powerful?

There's a rumor that Benson's retiring, and, you know, I was hoping they'd look

at me for a job.

Tim, they're not going to promote a woman. Too afraid you might get

Uh, I like that blue suit there. It sets off your eyes.

That's pretty powerful.

Thank you.

Randy, are you flirting with my wife? No, no, no, sir, I'm...

Just here measured a computer station.

Oh, hey, I was going to build that.

I built the bookcase in the living room.

Yeah, I saw that. I noticed it. It's nice.

I like Birch.

Oh, well, yeah, me too.

You know, most people think it's Maple.

Hey, he knows Birch. Yeah.

Hey, Randy, would you give us a bid on this kitchen remodel? What are you

talking about?

What?

What, what, what? We need to do more business entertaining. Why are you so

against this gourmet kitchen?

Well, because neither one of us cook.

Hello.

Hi, Alan. Hi, Alan. How are you?

Okay. Good.

So where's my little one?

Come on, Caitlin.

Caitlin, where are you hiding?

I'm going to find you. She doesn't seem to like her nanny very much.

No, she doesn't like anybody.

She's a little high strung.

You know what?

Maybe she needs some physical activity. Why don't we have Randy put together the

swing set?

No, no, no. I'm going to build that swing set.

You know, I'm sick of people taking away my projects at work. I don't have to

put up with it here at home.

What did

happen?

Does Caitlin somehow know I'm her dad?

You were focused on her.

Sensitive, loving.

That's what makes a father.

Ellen felt it.

Too bad she felt the father was going to be gone in three days.

Two and a half.

But who's counting?

What did she...

I've sent copies of that tape to every agency and child welfare authority in

country. You'll never have a chance to neglect another kid again.

I cannot believe that somebody would do that.

Here, honey.

Sit right there.

That's good.

Can you believe that woman?

It's worse than neglect.

It's endangerment, abuse.

What if she choked on something?

Or fell and hurt herself?

Emotional isolation.

No wonder she isn't talking yet.

I'm afraid to be so silly.

Talking to myself.

Let me see Mr. Pug.

I'm home.

We're in the kitchen, dear.

Oh, hi.

We're having a doggy tea party.

Where's the nanny?

She had to go out.

Want some pizza?

There's still some left.

Caitlin had pizza?

Well, doggy pizza.

See, it's a bone.

I cut the shape out with my man's knife.

Woof, woof.

One day I hope to work in broccoli.

Oh, somebody's bedtime.

Come here.

Oh.

I forgot how her hair smelled like apples.

What? Oh, nothing.

When you get her to bed, there's something I need to talk to you about.

Okay.

All right.

Bye -bye.

We have let this happen.

Well, you didn't know.

Alan seems so nice.

Well, no wonder Caitlin is so withdrawn.

And it's our fault.

Well, okay.

But you caught it.

Now, how do we fix it?

Well, right now, the first thing I'd like to do involves a certain nanny,

screws, and fire ant. Man, me too.

But, uh, that would be wrong.

And it doesn't help Caitlin.

How are we going to make this up to her? For one thing, you can't trust her to

another outsider. She needs her mother. But we need Tammy's income.

Oh, no, you don't. Cook in more, carry out less, and you don't have child care

costs. Look, I know it'll be tough, but... You're right, you're right,

right.

Boy,

Tammy is really going to hate to quit.

She loves that job.

Well, after seeing this tape, she can't possibly say no.

No, no, no. Why do I always have to stay? I mean, my mother could... You

take a sick day.

This trip is important. This isn't about staying home from one trip. I think you

should quit your job.

What? Tammy, I forbid you to go on this trip.

What? Yeah, for Caitlin.

And us.

Sorry, but that's the way it's got to be. Oh, okay. Okay. All right. All

Fine.

Fine. I'll stay home.

You, however, are leaving.

What? Yeah. You heard me. I signed on for a marriage here, not a dictatorship.

So, you know what? Pack your clothes and your toothbrush and get out!

Look who I found.

Oh. Oh, that's okay.

He missed you, too.

Randy.

Okay, what finally worked?

Oh, I, uh, saw Mr.

Puppy Talk.

Mr. Puppy Talk.

Okay.

How did you know where I work?

And, uh, it was in the notebook by the fridge.

Okay.

Randy, if I paid your hourly rate, would you babysit

just for a couple of hours?

I have to do a few things before I tender my resignation.

I'm quitting.

I have to choose between family and career. There's no context.

I'll watch the game. I love it.

Thanks. Okay.

This is so great!

Oh!

Hi.

You having fun?

Me too.

Look at those dogs!

Hi, sweetie.

Look at them. Oh, he likes us. Hi.

Come on.

made a wish before?

In a fountain?

You want to?

I want to show you something. Come here.

Let's see.

All right.

Now here, I'm going to make a wish. Close my eyes and wish for something.

I want you to wish for something very important, all right? Like help or

world peace or red balloons.

Go ahead.

Good shot.

You think that comes true?

Boy, it'd be great if we got a wish to come true, wouldn't it?

Oh, look at this.

Look at this.

Look at this.

It crawls, and it loosens the soil, and the worm's

castings help the plants grow.

Castings? It's a fancy word for poop.

Oh, come here. Come on.

Come here a minute.

To keep an ice cream cone from dripping, you have to make a good base.

So if you lick up and around, you get kind of a shelf thing going. Go ahead,

it.

Did it. Did it. Well, okay, we'll work on that. That's okay. Good try.

Okay.

Oh, it's time to go.

Boy, I hate to take you back.

Your mommy doesn't know how lucky she is.

Oh, one more thing.

And this is extremely important.

Never, ever date a guy named me.

Do you have a good time today?

Finishing up a conference call.

Georgia, they've got everything on a floppy list, thank them, but Benson

wants us to publish him a couple of hard copies, okay?

I'll just be five more minutes.

No, you won't. I need you.

The other thing I wanted to talk to you about... Dorison, the big boss comes to

her? Third time today. They had a computer meltdown in Chicago, and

busy campaigning for Benson's job to fix it, so Tammy's been gluing things

together from here.

And I need you to write a manual for the average CEO to understand.

Okay, thanks.

Randy, Mr.

Dorsen.

Oh, yeah. How are you doing?

Sorry I kept you waiting.

I had no idea how important you were.

Oh, well, no, the boss is just afraid of computers.

Benson, he's just, well, he's not a good teacher.

Oh, we just really need to dump this old hardware.

You know, savings and downtime and repairs, I mean, we could recoup that

investment in 15 months.

You have the figures to back that up? Yes, charts and graphs, and Benson

care because he's retiring.

Take the proposal to the boss and tell him you want Benson's job or you quit.

But I am going to quit.

Exactly.

You got nothing to lose.

But that's kind of pointless, isn't it? Well, maybe not.

You like this job, don't you?

Yeah.

But, no, it's not worth my family, Randy.

Well, maybe there's another way.

I'll take Caitlin.

You just talk to the boss.

Let's see how far we get before you walk away.

Okay.

Mr. Taylor, you have a very important visitor.

Hayden?

Hey.

Tammy got hung up.

And she thought you could use some time together since the big fight.

Shh. Nobody knows we had a fight.

And, uh... We could keep it that way.

As long as you spend the afternoon together.

And do the things on this list.

Is it Pet Shop by Toy?

Sing a song?

Things I didn't do with my little girl when I had the chance.

Tell her never to date a guy named Meat? Oh!

We cannot stress that too much.

Good.

So, who's meat?

What a day.

Perfect weather for building a swing set.

Yeah.

Okay.

Slash. Slash.

Let's go one at a time.

Hi, honey.

Daddy's a builder.

Well, thank you, sweetheart.

Well, not exactly speech, but it's something.

And she seems happier.

Maybe it's because of the time she's had with her father.

Hey, you seem happier, too.

Hey, you should see her pitch penny. She's got a wicked arm. You know, she

an ice cream cone exactly the way I do.

Boy, Tammy doesn't know how lucky she is.

No kidding.

Huh.

It makes you kind of wonder, why should she have all the fun, huh?

Why can't you be the one to stay home?

Because that'd be crazy.

What are people going to think if I don't work?

You're a guy who loves his family so much you're willing to do the hardest,

underappreciated job in the world?

I don't think so.

Why not?

You are great with Caitlin.

And, uh, you're not that happy at work. But I make more money than Tammy.

You know, it's going to be hard enough living on one income. We can't give up

the bigger paycheck.

So, uh, if it weren't for the money, you'd consider it?

Yeah, yeah, sure. Why not?

I guess so.

Hey, guys.

Wow. You built a swing set.

Well, almost.

So, uh, what'd they say when you quit?

Well, it's funny, actually.

I was going to quit, but I got promoted.

Promoted?

Benton's job.

Corner office and a raise.

Really? A raise to as much as Ron makes?

A little bit more, actually.

Well, all right.

You were right. The boss loved my proposal.

I mean, he never asked me to move up because I never said anything.

Congratulations.

Hey, pretty good, huh?

You set me up.

What? How long have you two been plotting against me?

Plotting? Yeah.

Isn't this what you've been praying for? No.

I was praying that I got promoted and she'd stay home.

What difference does it make who stays home? Plenty. How's it going to look if

let my wife support me? Oh, so I'm supposed to stay home even if it means

money. Yes! Guys, please, don't fight in front of Caitlyn. It upsets her.

Caitlin? Caitlin?

Caitlin? Caitlin? Caitlin? Caitlin, where are you?

Caitlin, come out now, honey!

Caitlin!

Caitlin!

Caitlin!

There's not a trace.

Maybe we should call the police.

Oh, God, this can't be happening.

We shouldn't have had her if we can't take care of her.

I didn't say that.

Why would I say that?

Nothing means anything without Caitlin.

What are we going to do?

Tammy, it's okay.

She's over here.

Oh, my God, Caleb.

She was hiding under that pile of leaves.

Oh, I'm scared, Mommy.

Pretty smart.

Caleb, we are so sorry we scared you with our yelling.

But we are going to try to never do that again, honey.

Okay.

Okay.

Let's go have an ice cream cone, okay?

Mommy's got to write her letter of resignation.

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

My beautiful girls.

You know, I've never been particularly religious, but I feel like I've almost

been given a second chance.

You have no idea.

Uh, what do you say we finish this baby?

For Caitlin.

And Tammy.

Everything's going to be better now that she's staying home. She deserves a lot

of credit for being willing to chuck a big promotion in work she really enjoys.

Caitlin deserves to be happy.

Have you ever been to Tammy's office, seen her in action?

No. Oh, man. It is a thing of beauty.

People swirling all around her, asking her questions, getting her input.

I mean, she vibrates positive energy.

Well, now she can vibrate that positive energy here.

Fine. Fine.

Does she really love her job that much?

Almost as much as you hate yours.

I can't imagine myself not working.

Oh.

Hey, if you think raising a child isn't work, you are dreaming. I don't know.

You know, a guy staying home, it's kind of unconventional.

I just wish I could be sure it was the right thing for Caitlin.

Daddy, Daddy.

Caitlin, did you just say... Daddy, Daddy.

Did you hear that?

She said Daddy.

I think that deserves a push on the new swing.

That's great. Come here, sweetie.

Get Mr. Puppy Dog.

Come here. You want to swing?

Atta girl.

Here.

Come here, honey.

Higher.

It needs to go higher.

Hey, Dad, come look. I finished my scrapbook.

Just great pictures.

You're not stuttering.

Duh.

Look, here I am in the fall play.

She made a beautiful Juliet.

Wow, Juliet.

Well, it's a nice set.

It should be. You built it.

And here we are on the soccer team.

What am I doing on a girl's soccer team?

You're the coach, Dad.

Oh.

And here's the dedication ceremony for the new computer lab.

What am I doing cutting the ribbon?

You built the lab.

And Tammy's company donated the computers.

Tammy.

Mom, you made it. Yeah, well, of course I made it. I wouldn't miss your

graduation party, sweetie.

I'm very proud of you.

Guess she took the promotion.

Yep. And now she runs the company.

You even got that gourmet kitchen?

You're kidding.

Caitlin learned to cook.

No self -defense.

And how's my secret weapon?

Your advice on that Kentucky project?

Perfect.

Hey, gang.

Yo,

Mr. T.

Beat?

Dad, his name's Beat.

And he's the smartest kid in school.

Yeah, if he's so smart, why is he called Speed?

Why isn't he called Smart?

Well, honey, you know why. Because he did his SAT so fast.

Oh.

Finished his SATs really fast.

Smartest kid in school.

And due to discover a very important cure in about eight years.

Wow. Soon you'll have no memories of me or what happened.

You'll simply continue this new life as though you never had another one.

Dad, I almost forgot to show you my favorite page. Great job.

Parent of the year.

That's great.

It's really great.

I better fix that banner.

Yeah, back.

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