All language subtitles for The.Goldbergs.2013.S03E07.1080p.WEB.h264-NOMA_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,606 ADULT ADAM: If you were a girl growing up in the '80s, 2 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:08,409 the pajama party was a night of epic adventure. 3 00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:09,843 Okay, listen up. 4 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,712 This next decision is, like, super important. 5 00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,115 Okay. Do we watch Adventures In Babysitting, 6 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,850 Pretty in Pink, or Troop Beverly Hills? 7 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,119 ALL: Troop Beverly Hills 8 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,787 I was hoping you'd say that! 9 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,290 Shelley Long has a black belt in shopping! 10 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,791 It's very funny to me. 11 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,926 (LAUGHS) Oh, my God. This is so fun. 12 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,261 I love you all so much! 13 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,430 (ALL SQUEAL) 14 00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:32,333 * Come on down It's cookie time 15 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,102 ALL: * It's cookie time 16 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,570 ADULT ADAM: Troop Beverly Hills was the ultimate girl cult movie. 17 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,907 It had it all, songs, shopping, and Shelley Long. 18 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,809 * It's cookie time 19 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,611 * It's cookie time 20 00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,113 ADULT ADAM: My mom loved it, too, 21 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,580 because the girls were still young enough 22 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,416 to let her join the troop. 23 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,684 And even though Erica and her gal pals 24 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,754 got older and cooler, they never left their favorite tradition behind. 25 00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:56,590 Just heard Mark McGonagall's throwing a Rager Saturday night. 26 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,259 He lets the girls do keg stands first. 27 00:00:58,326 --> 00:00:59,527 He's such a gentleman. 28 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,929 Or we do our annual pajama party, make s'mores, 29 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,031 and recite every word of Troop Beverly Hills. 30 00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:05,166 Ugh, so lame. 31 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:06,267 You know you're dying to do it. 32 00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:07,601 I am. Yay! 33 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,002 Oh, my God, this is gonna be so fun! 34 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,205 Oh, my God, this is gonna be so fun! 35 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:13,674 No! Take off the mom pajamas 36 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,942 and stop doing what you're doing. 37 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,010 Please let me be your Shelley Long! 38 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,313 We'll call it Troop Beverly, just like in the old days. 39 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:22,082 That's when we were too young to know how unbearably annoying you were. 40 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:25,219 No offense taken. But come on. 41 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,721 Your pajama parties are the only reminder I have 42 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,723 of when you were happy, tiny girls 43 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:31,959 and not Godforsaken teenage monsters. 44 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,093 Look at me, Mom! 45 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,163 There is no Troop Beverly anymore. 46 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,497 End of story. 47 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,267 Dude, did you hear that? 48 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,835 Your sister's having her hot friends over for a lingerie party. 49 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,404 Pretty sure I heard "pajama." 50 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,273 Bet they're gonna have pillow fights, 51 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,341 tickle fights, and other fights we can't even imagine! 52 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,109 Easy, Dave Kim. That's my sister. 53 00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:52,446 We can hide your video camera when they're having their party. 54 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,781 Yes! Oh, my God! 55 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,416 Again, that's my sister. 56 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:58,118 Dude, this is our one chance to peek behind the curtain 57 00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,053 and gain insight into young womanhood. 58 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,223 Well, on one hand, 59 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,892 it's an unforgivable invasion of privacy. 60 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,961 On the other hand, girls are a perplexing mystery, 61 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,432 and filming them for education purposes 62 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,534 could provide some helpful insight. 63 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,336 Let's do it! 64 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,770 Yes! 65 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,706 Aw, man! We're gonna be the coolest guys in school! 66 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,809 ADULT ADAM: We were not. 67 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,112 * I'm twisted up inside 68 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:30,117 * But nonetheless I feel the need to say 69 00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:32,786 * I don't know the future 70 00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:36,590 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 71 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,792 ADULT ADAM: It was November 11th, 1980-something, 72 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,494 and Barry and Pops just discovered 73 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,630 Willow Grove Mall had a new store. 74 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,199 Holy crap, puppies! 75 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,468 They're so fluffy and adorable! 76 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,002 They're like the kittens of dogs! 77 00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:52,573 Look! That one's falling asleep while standing up. 78 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,906 I've done that. 79 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,309 Oh, not so fast. 80 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,110 Look, I don't want to sound like your father, 81 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,546 but you can't go in there. 82 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,314 You're deathly allergic to dogs. 83 00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:01,849 Ugh! Why? 84 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,651 I know, it's rough. 85 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:07,555 But I'll be at your side in solidarity. 86 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:08,889 Oooh... 87 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,891 That fuzzy one just sneezed. 88 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,426 I'll see you in 10. 89 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:13,894 ADULT ADAM: My brother's violent dog allergy 90 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,864 had always been a source of great frustration. 91 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,567 But that day, the lure of cute, cuddly puppies 92 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,235 was too much for Barry. 93 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,836 There's nothing to worry about. 94 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,639 This thin mesh barrier will protect me. 95 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,642 ADULT ADAM: But as Barry stared down into that pit of adorableness, 96 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,379 he lost his balance and tumbled into furry danger. 97 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:34,014 Oh, God, no! Not puppies! 98 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,616 Hold your breath, Barry! 99 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,150 I'm gonna, I'm gonna die! 100 00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:38,819 They're so cute, but deadly! 101 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,053 They're gonna kill me! 102 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:44,292 Uh, kiddo, you seem totally fine. 103 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,260 You're right. I am! 104 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,629 Get on in here, you! I'm the puppy king! 105 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,033 Dad! You won't believe it. 106 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,736 I'm alive! I'm actually alive! 107 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:56,937 Ask your mother. 108 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,706 I spent the entire afternoon 109 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,641 in a puppy pit cheating death. 110 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:03,076 You always said the reason we can't get a dog is 'cause of me. 111 00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,945 Forget what happened in the puppy pit. 112 00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,380 That was a fluke. 113 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,516 You are crazy allergic to dogs. Wrong! 114 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,851 My insanely strong immune system 115 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,019 has grown so powerful 116 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,187 that I'm no longer allergic to anything on earth. 117 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,789 No. Stop. Don't think that. 118 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,625 It's the truth! 119 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,593 I'll go outside right now and roll in poison oak. You'll see. 120 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,394 I made it up, okay? 121 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,230 You're not allergic to dogs. What? 122 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:26,033 The only reason I said that is because when you were a kid, 123 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,736 you asked for one every damn day! 124 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,203 Do you realize you've denied me 125 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,905 the sidekick I've always longed for? 126 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,407 I'm okay with that. Do you know how many times 127 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,409 I had to play Frisbee by myself? 128 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,077 How many times I got caught in a well? 129 00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:38,579 Look, I got enough ungrateful kids 130 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,614 around here to take care of. 131 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,950 The last thing I need is an ungrateful animal to take care of. 132 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,117 Get me a dog. No. 133 00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,319 Get me a dog! No! 134 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,020 I'm gonna keep saying it until I get 135 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,022 the four-legged friend I deserve! 136 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,724 Give me a dog! No! Stop asking. 137 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:51,892 It's not gonna happen. 138 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,159 Give me a dog. No. 139 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,227 Give me a dog. No. 140 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,463 Give me a dog. No. 141 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:56,630 Give me a dog. No. 142 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:57,931 Give me a dog. No. 143 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,099 Give me a dog. No. 144 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,233 Give me a dog. No. 145 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,835 Give me a dog. No. 146 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,036 Give me a dog. No. 147 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,237 Give me a dog. No. 148 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,874 Give me a dog. Fine! 149 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,810 But if I say yes, promise me you'll take care of it. 150 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:10,944 It's your dog. 151 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,179 Yes! 152 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,581 Now I'm not the only one in the house 153 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,249 who has to take his pill in cheese! 154 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,486 ADULT ADAM: While Barry finally got his wish for a dog, 155 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:21,855 me and my crew were getting our greatest wish. 156 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,991 Thanks to cutting-edge VHS technology, 157 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,860 we would learn the secrets of womanhood. 158 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:33,501 Okay. I just snuck a cable from the bedroom to the basement. 159 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,868 Fingers crossed, boys. 160 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,305 Oh! Yes! 161 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:39,540 (CHEERING) 162 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:42,543 Okay, enough! Silence! 163 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,678 Dave Kim needs to focus. 164 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,116 It's happening. 165 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,485 Today we learn the secrets of womanhood. 166 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,186 This is the best moment of my life. 167 00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,622 I love you guys. 168 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,923 * We're the girls from Beverly Hills 169 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,725 * One, two, three, four 170 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,393 * Shopping is our greatest skill * 171 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,028 (LAUGHTER) 172 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,295 What the hell? They're just watching a dumb movie. 173 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,364 Come of age already, damn it! 174 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,166 Hit each other with pillows! 175 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,969 Okay, who wants pizza ro... Oh, my God! 176 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,539 What is happening here? (GASPS) 177 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,807 Okay, I can totally explain this. 178 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,275 Run! 179 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,677 You're grounded, Adam! 180 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,479 And I'm calling your mothers! 181 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:20,414 GIRL: Oooh! 182 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,416 Pbht! (LAUGHTER) 183 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,118 ADULT ADAM: In that moment, my mother realized she had found a way 184 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,688 into Erica's pajama party, and into her life. 185 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,523 Oooh... 186 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,158 I'll just watch for a little bit. 187 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,159 ADULT ADAM: And she couldn't resist. 188 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,929 Should I do a loose crimp or a tighter, more intense one? 189 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,130 Tight crimp. Tight crimp. 190 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,299 Loose. Yeah, no, whatever. 191 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,334 Loose is good. 192 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,870 ADULT ADAM: That night, my mom had the time of her life 193 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,638 being a secret member of Erica's troop. 194 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,206 ...three different girls, and then he broke up with Heather. 195 00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:47,508 Heather G or Heather S? 196 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,409 Hello, principal ball. 197 00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:51,344 This is your butt doctor calling. 198 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,814 We found a problem. Your head was up there. 199 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,148 (LAUGHS) 200 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,384 Tell him he's bald! 201 00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:00,287 So, if you add a white line across the top, it's a French manicure. 202 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:03,056 Well, don't I just look like Zsa Zsa Gabor. 203 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,391 Shi-shi frou-frou. 204 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,826 Um, Erica? 205 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,261 What's that? 206 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,831 Oh... (BLEEP) 207 00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,265 Someone's dead! 208 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,803 Ow! 209 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,337 Ow. Fudgy, fudgy, fudge! 210 00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,039 Fudgy, fudge... 211 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,042 Are you spying on our pajama party? 212 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,376 Before you say anything, I got to know, 213 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,578 is it Heather G or Heather S? 214 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,847 I don't even know what to say! 215 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,750 You have never, ever stooped so low! 216 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,185 I have. You just haven't caught me. 217 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,489 Shut up and listen. 218 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,891 I've narrowed down the exact breed of dog 219 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,427 that best matches my personality and lifestyle. 220 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,995 Good morning to you, too. 221 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,097 Our dog will either be the kind that looks like a sheep... 222 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,566 Sheepdog. A Cujo... 223 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,768 Book, not a breed. A McGruff... 224 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,369 That's a cartoon crime dog. 225 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:51,238 Or a bear crossed with a poodle. 226 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,673 ADAM: Not possible. 227 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:54,141 Surprise, surprise! 228 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,343 Look who's back from the dog pound! 229 00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,579 Whoa, whoa, wait! You got a dog without me? 230 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,247 It better be a grizzly-poodle. 231 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,015 Seriously. If it's not a grizzoodle, I don't want it. 232 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,350 MURRAY: It's this thing. 233 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:06,053 Erica, come see how sweet and not awful I am! 234 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,521 He's perfect! 235 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,490 He is a she, and you owe me 8 bucks for shots and gas. 236 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,292 Okay, okay. She needs a name. 237 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,896 From this point on, this animal will only be known as Jean Gog Van Damme. 238 00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,865 No, wait! Arnold Schwarzendogger. 239 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:21,001 No, wait! Dogvester Stallone. 240 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,103 No, wait! Lucky. 241 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,405 Erica, come meet Lucky. 242 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:27,541 It's a perfect name, 'cause she's so lucky 243 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,778 to live with a family that's so loving and forgiving. 244 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,345 Getting a dog doesn't change my mind 245 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,114 that you're a garbage mom. 246 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,948 (BABY VOICE) But that doesn't mean 247 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,818 I can't give this sweetie petey some lovey wubbies! 248 00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:39,986 Yes, I will! 249 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,188 Yes, I will! 250 00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,957 Everyone's happy but me. Seems right. 251 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,027 ADULT ADAM: And so Barry finally got his doggy sidekick. 252 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,396 Or so he thought. 253 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:53,066 There you are, girl! Come on! It's time to train! 254 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,603 I thought we'd skip "sit" and go to the important stuff, 255 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,705 like how to grind some rails and solve crimes. 256 00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,440 Will you be quiet? I'm trying to watch the game. 257 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,809 Just take the thing and go. 258 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,210 (BARKING) 259 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,344 Whoa! Easy, girl. 260 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,913 Maybe you should just give her a little space. 261 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,548 Please. Does that look like the face of a dog 262 00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,283 who doesn't utterly worship her master? 263 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,652 (GROWLING) 264 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,220 Yeah, yeah. He's a moron. 265 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,588 Just settle down. 266 00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,191 Ooh. That's nice and toasty. 267 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,293 You know, she's clearly tired. 268 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,995 (GROWLING) 269 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,097 Get some rest, Lucky. 270 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,166 I'll teach you how to karate chop a board with your paws tomorrow. 271 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,137 Toasty. 272 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,672 ADULT ADAM: As my dad warmed up to the dog, 273 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,506 Erica pulled out the big guns 274 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,275 and gave my mom the cold shoulder. 275 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,144 There's favorite daughter. 276 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,411 How was school, squishy? 277 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,382 Oh, now it's the silent treatment, huh? 278 00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,617 Fine. 279 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:44,952 I'll wait for you to come around. 280 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,219 (DRAWER SLAMS) 281 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,755 Okay, look, I know what I did was wrong, 282 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,122 but I had no choice. 283 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,792 You completely cut me out of your life! 284 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,061 Invasive spy cams are all I got. 285 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,395 (DRAWER SLAMS) 286 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,630 Okay, this is ridiculous. 287 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,131 You forgive me right now 288 00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,400 and let me hug your body or you're grounded. 289 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,736 Okay. Now I'll talk. 290 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:05,405 If anyone here is grounded, it's you. 291 00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,440 You can't ground me, I'm your mother. (SNICKERS) 292 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:10,878 I just did. You're grounded from my life. 293 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,613 You're not allowed to participate in it ever again. 294 00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,515 You know what, I've had enough. 295 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,718 You want me out of your life? You got it. 296 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,352 We'll see how you do without me for a week. 297 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,054 You know that isn't a punishment, right? 298 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,757 Oh, we'll see. And when you come crawling back, 299 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,193 begging for your mother's help and guidance, 300 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,028 we both know what'll happen then. 301 00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,663 You'll scoop me up in your arms. 302 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,965 And smother you with kisses! 303 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,767 Deal with that, sucka! 304 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,641 ADULT ADAM: It wasn't like my dad to want a dog... 305 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:44,511 Until he met the dog that was just like him. 306 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,079 What the hell is Lucky wearing? 307 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,715 Did you make my dog an Eagles jersey? 308 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,950 Sure did. You put effort into something? 309 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,318 Can you believe it? 310 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,753 And look what I put on the back. 311 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:56,957 Instead of Jaworski, I put "Paworski." 312 00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,959 'Cause it has paws. 313 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:00,928 Because it's a dog. 314 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,295 Not cool! 315 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,231 (GROWLS) 316 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,366 Dad's turned the dog against me! 317 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,301 This was my dream, and... 318 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,837 Dude, what do you got there? 319 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,238 I'm making a dog puppet arm 320 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:13,640 for when Lucky needs to grab stuff in my home movies. 321 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:16,176 I'm gonna make Turner & Hooch, but watchable. 322 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:17,811 You can't direct Lucky. 323 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,580 Your terrible changing voice will hurt her sensitive dog ears. 324 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,449 Besides, I can't even get her away from dad 325 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,384 to play Frisbee with me. This is bullcrap! 326 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,653 Dad hasn't turned Lucky against you. 327 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,356 The dog just listens to him 'cause he's the Alpha male. 328 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,557 The wha? 329 00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,092 The boss. Numero uno. 330 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:34,461 Lucky has to follow dad. It's nature. 331 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,663 Nature is an idiot. 332 00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,498 I'm number uno. 333 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,868 In Lucky's eyes, you're ranked number four in this family. 334 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,903 No way! Clearly dad's one. 335 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:45,005 Pops is an elder, so that makes him two. 336 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,740 I have a power alliance with Pops, 337 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,441 so that puts me at three and you at four. 338 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:51,578 Four? That's the copper medal of the Olympics! 339 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,346 Only one thing left to do. 340 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,382 I shall challenge dad to a showdown 341 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,817 and become the Alpha! 342 00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,719 It's okay, Barry. 343 00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:03,156 Good Barry. 344 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,026 Good Barry. Good Barry. Stop! 345 00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,261 ADULT ADAM: As Barry was ready to challenge my dad, 346 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,932 Beverly was ready for Erica to admit that a few days without her were impossible. 347 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:15,435 And there it is, the one thing I know you can't resist... 348 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:16,937 My seven-meat meatloaf. 349 00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,305 (CHUCKLES) I knew you'd give in. 350 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,107 Thanks, but I'll eat at Lainey's. 351 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,508 Got to study for mid-terms. 352 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,011 Woof, must be tough not having your mom there 353 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,578 to help you hit the books this week, huh? 354 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,047 Actually, this week's been pretty good. 355 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,950 Look into your heart and tell me the truth. 356 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:33,086 No, you're right. This week's been pretty great. 357 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,421 Stop. 358 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,456 You haven't missed my back scratches? No. 359 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,826 How I lay on your sheets to warm them up before bedtime? 360 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,293 God, no. 361 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,062 The love notes I write you on the steamy shower door? No. 362 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,364 The way I suck out the pits of your olives. No! 363 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,566 Just admit you learned your lesson. 364 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:49,102 Life is worse without your mama. 365 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,805 I'm sorry, but this week has proven that I'm an adult 366 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,141 and I can take care of myself. 367 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,542 I don't have all the facts, 368 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,911 but I think this one goes in the "lost" column. 369 00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,913 This is the worst thing to happen to me 370 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,314 since Adam learned to walk. 371 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:06,053 My God. I can't believe how easy it is to sneak downtown 372 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,387 when you don't have a mom in your life. 373 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,189 Yeah. Mine's been gone since I was 12. 374 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,390 It's the best. 375 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,659 So, where are the tickets? What tickets? 376 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,161 I thought we'd buy some from a scalper. 377 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,695 Isn't that really, really illegal? 378 00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:16,930 Definitely. 379 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,331 Hey, dude, you got any tickets? 380 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,201 Yeah, 10th row center. 381 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:22,635 You interested? 382 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,004 Hells yeah we are. 383 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,305 Hells yeah you aren't. 384 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,040 Oh, no. Oh, God. 385 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,241 You got ID? 386 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,742 I do have ID? 387 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,778 Is it a fake ID? You know what, just arrest us. 388 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,213 This isn't gonna get any better. 389 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,948 ADULT ADAM: As Erica sank to rock bottom, 390 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,784 Barry was about to make his move to the top of the heap. 391 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:40,587 Murray Terrence Goldberg, 392 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,356 I challenge you to feats of strength. 393 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,824 Terrence? 394 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,159 Do you actually think that's my middle name? 395 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,527 Silence! 396 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,296 Prepare to engage in a wrestling match 397 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,065 so the dog can bear witness to my true dominance. 398 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,867 Put on this Mexican fighting mask. 399 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,635 No. Then take off your shirt. 400 00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:58,305 I'm not gonna wrestle you with or without clothing. 401 00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,706 Fine! 402 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,541 Then Lucky will recognize me as the Alpha 403 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,610 after I launch heavy items into the air 404 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,278 using pure power and brute strength. 405 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,115 (GRUNTS) 406 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,317 It's slipping! No! Look away, Lucky! 407 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:13,053 Why isn't this working? I'm lifting with my back like you're supposed to! 408 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,222 Okay, stop with the lifting. 409 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,091 Look, it's not my fault the dog hangs around me. 410 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:19,392 We just get each other. 411 00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,528 Oh, my God. 412 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,030 You love her! I do not. 413 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,664 There's actual love in your heart, 414 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,066 and you're using it for the dog. 415 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,035 I do not love the dog. Fine. 416 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,403 Then you won't care if I return her. Where's the receipt? 417 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,306 She's family! You can't return family! 418 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,540 Believe me, I've checked. 419 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:37,277 Fine. Then from now on her name is Traitor. 420 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,912 Don't do that. Come here, Traitor. 421 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,347 Do not call her Traitor. 422 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,983 That's a goody-woody little Traitor. 423 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,018 Don't use a baby voice to call her Traitor! 424 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,153 Then admit you love her! 425 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,520 You know what, we don't need this crap. 426 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:49,356 Come on, Luckster. Let's go for a walk. 427 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,624 ADULT ADAM: As Barry realized he'd been replaced by a dog, 428 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:54,594 Erica and Lainey were realizing they were in deep trouble. 429 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:57,764 (BUZZER) You get one phone call. Make it count. 430 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,033 Yes. One call. 431 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,834 No-brainer. We're calling your mom. 432 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,303 No way! 433 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,138 I told her I could live my life without her. 434 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,906 You're in jail. You clearly can't. 435 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:09,309 It took me 16 years to get to this position. 436 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,577 I can't go back. 437 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:11,711 Well, call someone. 438 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,182 (PHONE RINGS) 439 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,349 Hello? 440 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,352 Hey. Is pops there? 441 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,322 I'm studying, and I have a question about World War... 442 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,959 I or II or whatever one he was in. 443 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,627 (SIGHS) Hold on. 444 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,198 Hi, sweetheart. What's doing? 445 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,133 I'm in major trouble and mom will kill me, so just act normal. 446 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,801 Okeydokey, smokey. 447 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,369 That doesn't sound normal. That sounds crazy! 448 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,671 Yessiree, sir, indeedy-doo! 449 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:39,906 Just don't talk. 450 00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,909 Okeydokey... (MUMBLES) 451 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:45,178 Just come to the police station downtown. 452 00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:49,249 I know you lost your license and will need to steal a car, but I need you. 453 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:53,120 So if you'll help, just say, "America won the war." 454 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,954 America won the war! 455 00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,326 And just like that, 456 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,927 pops floored it to Erica's rescue. 457 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:06,799 Evening, Officer. 458 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,701 Pull over now. 459 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,071 (HORNS HONKING) 460 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:13,306 Any idea how fast you were driving? 461 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,841 Fifty? Three. 462 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:16,543 Fifty three? Just three. 463 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,145 Well, that sounds very safe. 464 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,280 It's not. Can I see your license? 465 00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:22,949 Sure thing, Officer. It's right down here. 466 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,587 Kiss my grits, porky! 467 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,156 (TIRES SPIN) 468 00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,723 (IGNITION STOPS) 469 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,492 You're still in park. 470 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,328 In my defense, I haven't driven in two years... 471 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:37,664 'Cause I have no license. 472 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,900 Pops, thank God you're here! 473 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:42,869 I'm in really big trouble, Erica! 474 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,271 Call your mother! 475 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,475 My sister had set out to prove 476 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,343 she could live life without my mom. 477 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,279 And she failed miserably. 478 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,581 Don't you two worry. We'll be fine. 479 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,350 No matter what happens, we got each other's back. 480 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,252 Mr. Solomon, you're free to go. 481 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:00,553 Pops out! 482 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,889 ERICA: Mom, seriously? What about us? 483 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,523 Yeah, do that thing where you scream 484 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,159 and dig into the officer's personal life 485 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,426 so much that he sets us free. 486 00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:10,630 (SIGHS) 487 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,964 She only does that for people who want her in their life. 488 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,367 No silent treatment! That's my thing. 489 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,204 You know what she wants to hear. 490 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,872 Fine! (SIGHS) 491 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,209 (SOFTLY) I need you in my life. 492 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:23,376 (SIGHS) She didn't hear you. 493 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,912 I need you in my stupid life! Gah! 494 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,082 She wants to know if you mean it. 495 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:31,418 You're not just saying it because you're in prison. 496 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,420 Sure, there's that. 497 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,255 But you're my mom. 498 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,556 Of course I mean it. 499 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,064 There's no way I'm going to the concert now, right? 500 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:47,066 COP: She says, "God, no." Right. 501 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:50,870 BARRY: Hey. 502 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,973 Mmm. Can we talk? 503 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,610 Look, I'm no longer gonna demand you be my sidekick. 504 00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:01,314 I know I'm not the Alpha or the Beta. 505 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,516 I'm whatever comes last in the Greek letters. 506 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,984 I think it's Zorbo. 507 00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,819 See, ever since I was a little boy, 508 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,255 I wanted a dog like you. 509 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,223 Not 'cause you could jet-ski 510 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:13,293 or break-dance or deflect grenades with your paws. 511 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,061 I just wanted a friend. 512 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,629 And I didn't have many growing up. 513 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:19,899 But I do now. And a hot girlfriend. 514 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,302 So I guess I don't need you as much as I used to. 515 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:27,240 But my dad, he could use a cool friend like you. 516 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,676 Dude's a pretty cool guy once you get to know him. 517 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,345 So, we cool? 518 00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,113 Right. You can't talk. 519 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,348 You can't talk, right? 520 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,051 The dog can't talk, Barry. 521 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,421 Hey, that was a private conference 522 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:42,822 between me and Traitor. 523 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,326 Look, I'm not the Alpha. 524 00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:47,994 But the dog always sits right next to you. 525 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,896 That's because of the scraps. 526 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,833 There's all sorts of tasty shrapnel flying around here. 527 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,568 Here. Give her a try. 528 00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,571 Whoa! 529 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,407 She likes me! Of course she does. 530 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,808 You're a likeable kid. 531 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,843 So, does this mean we can share the dog? 532 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,044 (SIGHS) I don't care. 533 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,013 Come on. Say it. Say you love her. 534 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,147 She's fine. Say it! 535 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:09,549 She's fine. You love the dog. 536 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,150 I love the dog! 537 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:13,653 Me too. 538 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:20,627 ADULT ADAM: That day, we opened our hearts to a new family member. 539 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:24,331 And Erica opened her heart to my mom. 540 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,700 Smells yummy. Since when do you bake? 541 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,336 Just felt like cookie time. 542 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,576 What's all this? 543 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,512 It's hard to say. (CHUCKLES) 544 00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,816 (VOICE BREAKING) Even though I'm grown up 545 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,785 and I don't need you... 546 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,388 I still do. 547 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,190 I always will. 548 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,596 After everything I did, you still bailed me out. 549 00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,600 So, I thought I'd finally give you 550 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,802 the pajama party that you deserve. 551 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,805 Oh, honey. 552 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,875 So, what do you say? 553 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,343 Troop Beverly? 554 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,780 Troop Beverly. 555 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,248 ADULT ADAM: And in the end it was all worth it. 556 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,784 Not only did my mom and sister start a new tradition, 557 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:21,621 but my dad, Barry, and their new sidekick did, too. 558 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:24,156 Because that's what makes a family great. 559 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,392 Yes! Yes! 560 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,693 Oh, yeah! 561 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,729 It's not just the big moments. It's the simple things. 562 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,831 Like cheering on your favorite team, 563 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,533 roasting marshmallows, 564 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,035 or finding out the people you've been keeping at a distance 565 00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:38,004 are actually the people you're closest to. 566 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,006 So, tell me the truth. 567 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,741 Was it heather G or heather S? 568 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,844 Heather T. 569 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,879 No! (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 570 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,885 ADAM: Luck Tin Tin, take one. 571 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,855 Hey, kid! Give me your money! 572 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,324 Hey, who are you? 573 00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,891 (GRUNTS) 574 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,793 Luck Tin Tin! 575 00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,629 Save me! 576 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,030 Luck Tin Tin, attack! 577 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,264 Oh, yeah! Luck Tin Tin! 578 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:06,733 Pa-pow! Pow! 579 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,201 Aah! Oh, no! No! 580 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,904 No! No! Don't hurt me! 581 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:13,473 (WHIMPERING) 582 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,445 Hey, who are you? 583 00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:19,846 Give me your money... 584 00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,280 No! No, get away! Aah! 585 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,383 Luck Tin Tin! 586 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:24,784 Save me! 587 00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:28,588 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 588 00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,890 Luck Tin Tin, help me! Help! Lucky! 42699

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