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1
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:03,037
ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,
before you could film
2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,472
a major motion picture
with your phone,
3
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,307
the only way
to capture memories
4
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:09,643
was with this monstrosity.
The video camera.
5
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,612
It was literally
backbreaking work,
6
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:14,248
but the result
was always priceless.
7
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:15,716
What's up, B-ball fans?
8
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,386
Big Tasty coming to you live
from the drive.
9
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,054
Rumor has it
you like dunks.
10
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:23,391
Well, I call this one
"slam, jam, thank you, ma'am."
11
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:24,692
ALL: Oh!
12
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,429
"Honey, I dunked the kid."
13
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,231
ALL: Oh!
14
00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:32,232
"Good morning, Viet-slam."
15
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,034
ALL: Oh!
16
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:36,737
ALL: Ooh!
17
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,039
Call me Jean-Claude Van Jam.
18
00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:42,110
BOYS: Oh!
(LAUGHTER)
19
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,245
What?
(BOYS WHOOPING)
20
00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:45,913
This is the worst thing
I've ever seen,
21
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,015
and I see my dad
in his underpants
every day.
22
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:50,851
But we're only
halfway through watching
my Jampilation...
23
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,220
The extrava-jam-za.
24
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,654
Yeah, this has been amazing,
you know,
25
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,055
a Saturday
really well spent,
26
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:56,924
but I am gonna go do
anything else.
27
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,492
(ALL CHEERING)
28
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,730
BEVERLY: Aah! It's my little
love muffin's birthday!
29
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,567
Dude, did you tape over
your 5th birthday party?
30
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:07,968
That could have been
anyone's parents.
31
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:09,970
No, I remember that party...
Your mom gave me a haircut.
32
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:11,539
'Cause she said my mom
did a bad job.
33
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:15,042
Oh, no, no, no, no.
34
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,378
Yes! This is wonderful!
35
00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:19,447
For me. For you,
it's like as bad as it gets.
36
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,714
It's fine!
37
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,583
Mom has millions
of tapes of us.
38
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,352
It's not like
she has every one
of them memorized.
39
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,453
Hi, love nuggets.
40
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,122
Oh, your 5th birthday!
41
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:31,158
Oh, I remember
every single moment.
42
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,926
We should go.
No, no. Stay.
43
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,128
Let's all watch
the best time in my life
44
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:36,630
when you were
my Little Schmoo
45
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,899
and you used to give mama
endless huggies.
46
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,501
You heard mama.
Play the tape.
47
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,472
Why watch an old video
48
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,774
when you can get
a real huggie right now?
49
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:47,975
For real?
50
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,610
Get in here, you.
51
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:50,811
(LAUGHS)
52
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,479
Ohh,
ain't this the best?
53
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:54,081
Totally.
54
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:56,684
I can really feel
your whole body
against mine.
55
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,320
BEVERLY: Oh, my baby's
so big and squishy.
56
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:02,890
* I'm twisted up inside
57
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,760
* But nonetheless
I feel the need to say
58
00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:10,431
* I don't know the future
59
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:14,868
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *
60
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,171
ADULT ADAM: It was October 7,
1980-something,
61
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,340
and my dad was engaged
in his favorite hobby...
62
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,409
Watching the weather channel.
63
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,511
Back then, there were only
five channels to watch.
64
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,813
With the invention
of this exciting network,
65
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,615
dads across America
were hooked.
66
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,049
Call cousin Arnie.
67
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:30,751
They have a blizzard
warning in Denver!
68
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,153
They have no idea
what they're up against!
69
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:35,223
Unless it banks south.
70
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:37,258
Then they'll just have nice,
mild flurries.
71
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:40,661
Ooh. My knee is acting up.
72
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:41,995
Bet it's gonna rain.
73
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,731
(LAUGHING) Oh!
74
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:46,634
This guy thinks
it's gonna rain today
with 5% humidity.
75
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,869
I liked you better
when you hated everything.
76
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,638
ADULT ADAM: Yep, the weather
was my dad's hobby.
77
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,940
And of course, it couldn't be
any more different than mine.
78
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,208
Okay, here's the deal.
(CLICK)
79
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,844
You're looking at
a sentient robot
named Johnny 5
80
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,279
from the hit movie
Short Circuit
81
00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:00,648
and the less critically
acclaimed Short Circuit 2.
82
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,783
Why is the robit lounging
on a raft?
83
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,785
That thing weighs a ton.
It makes no sense.
84
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:08,055
The point is,
The Hobby Shop is selling
a limited-edition kit
85
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,858
to build a mini replica
Johnny 5 and I need money.
86
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,026
You do realize
I'm gonna say no, right?
87
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,528
I do know that, yes.
88
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,464
And that's why
I'm gonna call this
89
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,733
a learning-based project
and ask you to build it
with me.
90
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,770
Do not do that.
Do not call it a
learning-based project.
91
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,704
Then give me the money.
92
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,707
I won't involve mom,
and we can each go
our separate ways.
93
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:27,975
Done. How much?
94
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,277
$96.
95
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:30,678
I'm gonna ask you
to go away now.
96
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,112
Mom, I have
a learning-based project
97
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:34,615
dad won't
get involved in!
98
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,917
What is this about
a learning-based project?
99
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,051
I like
the sound of that.
100
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,020
I want to build a robot
with dad,
101
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,922
but he doesn't want to
do it with me.
102
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,525
Murray!
It's a learning-based
project!
103
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,827
Mama, why won't he let me
learn stuff?
104
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,629
It's a learning-based
project!
105
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,698
The thing
costs 100 bucks.
106
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,033
Tell you what...
Instead of going to the store
107
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,635
and buying a bunch
of robot parts,
108
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,471
dad will help you build one
from junk around the house.
109
00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,239
Oh, no,
what have I done?
110
00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,375
I was literally
just sitting here.
No. Zip it.
111
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,776
Zip it. Zip it.
I've made up my mind.
112
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,279
You two are building a robot,
and that's final!
113
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,715
Yay!
Learning-based project!
114
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,784
Yeah, I'm a putz.
115
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,453
ADULT ADAM:
While I was stuck with the
grumpiest man on the planet,
116
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,622
Barry went to
the smartest man he knew.
117
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,390
Coach Meller! Coach!
118
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,558
I need your help.
119
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,259
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
120
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,594
Third graders, out!
121
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,630
You're of no use to me
until you develop adult bodies
122
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,032
that can play something
besides tag.
123
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,334
What are we looking at here,
Goldberg?
124
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,268
I taped over
my 5th birthday party!
125
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:31,372
My mom will never forgive me
if I can't get her tape back.
126
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,974
You're the A.V. club adviser.
Help me.
127
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,477
Well, it's more
of a ceremonial title.
128
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,846
I just get to keep the key
to the A.V. closet on my belt,
129
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,014
but mostly
I just hand the key off
130
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,050
to that weird kid
with the muppet voice.
131
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,486
My brother?
That's him... Muppet boy.
132
00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:46,854
So is it possible?
133
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,856
Can we un-film
what I taped over?
134
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,792
Absolutely.
All we got to do is pop
that tape into the VCR,
135
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,661
hit record and rewind
at the same time,
136
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,229
and it will un-record
the top layer of video.
137
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,698
Duh!
138
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,867
The answer was in
front of me the whole time.
139
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,469
ADULT ADAM:
Except that wasn't the answer.
140
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,236
To the nerd hole.
141
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,405
ADULT ADAM: While you could
easily tape over something,
142
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,273
you could never un-erase it.
143
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,542
(GRINDING)
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
144
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,713
No!
Why didn't it work?
145
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,416
'Cause nobody really knows
how VHS technology works.
146
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:17,351
It's a mystery
science can't solve.
147
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,920
Looks like your only choice
is to come clean.
148
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,790
Or I double-down
and keep lying.
149
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,592
I lied
on a job application once
150
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,595
and said I was proficient
in the audio-visual arts.
151
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,029
Now here we are.
152
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,399
So the lesson is...
Don't lie.
153
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,166
Unless it gets you
an extra 60 bucks a week
154
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,302
and a butt-load
of extension cords.
155
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,171
I feel good about today.
156
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,874
ADULT ADAM:
In my brother's mind, there
was only one logical choice...
157
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,676
Frame my mom.
158
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,478
First, he took
his ruined birthday tape
159
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,079
and steamed off the label.
160
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,682
Next, he stuck it onto
my mom's Phil Donahue tape
161
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,818
so the next time
she'd watch Barry's birthday,
162
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,586
she'd find this.
163
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,287
In the long-term,
it's not good for us.
164
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,992
I just don't understand
how I could be so careless!
165
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:00,461
Don't beat yourself up
too bad.
166
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,830
I mean, yeah,
it's an unforgivable mistake.
167
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,197
But one day,
I'll recover.
168
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,033
But I won't!
169
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,735
Those were
the first moving images
170
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,236
of my precious
love monkeys.
171
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,971
Lost! Forever!
172
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,475
Dude, I'm all for lying
to our parents,
173
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,209
but this is
very not okay.
174
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,912
The good news is
she'll totally forget
about it in a few days.
175
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,247
I will never forget
about this!
176
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,649
Or a few weeks.
Ever.
177
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:22,816
Mom's a mess.
178
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,217
I've failed as a mother...
179
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:25,352
I can't take it, Barry.
180
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,087
...as a woman...
Either you tell her...
181
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,623
...and as a human person.
Or I will.
182
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,792
This is all your fault,
Phil Donahue,
183
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,494
you gorgeous
white-haired bastard.
184
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:39,767
Okay,
brainstorming session.
185
00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:42,903
Murray, now that you've been
forced to build a robo-man,
186
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,639
you get to delight
in Adam's favorite hobby.
187
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,808
I was about to delight
in the weather channel.
188
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:50,511
They got a new ticker
at the bottom of the screen.
It's always moving.
189
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:51,912
Are we done here?
No!
190
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:55,282
Come on. Tell me what this
metal-sucker should look like.
191
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,485
Get the ball rolling,
Mur-Man.
192
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,453
(WHISPERING)
I don't know. Um...
193
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,822
It could have a...
Button.
194
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,356
Good! A button.
195
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,293
Way to go there, big guy.
Adam, your turn.
196
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,529
It definitely should have
a back to the future-style
197
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,263
flux capacitor
for time travel.
198
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,465
Don't write that down.
199
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,000
No time travel.
That's not a thing.
200
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,003
There are no bad ideas
in brainstorming.
201
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,204
What else you got?
202
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,706
I don't know.
203
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,273
Maybe like a pointy hand
that could poke stuff.
204
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,809
An ion-based magma cannon.
205
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,977
A hat.
A combat-ready
cloaking device.
206
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,646
Metal feet.
207
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,114
We should also
give it emotions
and a sense of humor.
208
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,882
No!
Don't write that down!
209
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,984
Ever heard
of Short Circuit?
210
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,686
Once we get it struck
by lightning,
211
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,555
it'll be alive
just like Johnny 5.
212
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:35,889
That was a movie.
213
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:39,292
For the sake of argument,
let's entertain the notion
214
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:42,429
that this robot can have
anything we want it to have.
215
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,532
That's what
I'm trying to do, bro,
216
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:47,467
but unless this robot
can give fog advisories,
217
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,102
my father
ain't getting onboard.
218
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,671
A weather robit.
219
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:52,640
Now, that actually
makes sense.
220
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,474
I want this thing to have
a snow plow.
221
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:56,176
And inter-dimensional
portals.
222
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,546
Now we're cooking
with gas.
223
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,714
ADULT ADAM: While my dad and I
were finally coming together,
224
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:03,784
my mom was
still falling apart.
225
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,786
Dude, look at her.
226
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,855
She's even lost her will
to jazzercise.
227
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,090
You were supposed to
tell her by now.
228
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,059
I know,
but I have great news.
229
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,328
I came up with something
so much better than the truth.
230
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,465
I searched through
all our old tapes
231
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,300
and cut together
Beverly Goldberg's
232
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,235
most awesome moments
as a mom.
233
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,137
I call it a Momtage.
234
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,372
I don't understand.
235
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,840
See,
I took the word "mom"
236
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,742
and mushed it into
the word "montage,"
237
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,377
which is Spanish
for the word "honesty."
238
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:31,745
I know
what "montage" means.
239
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,480
Just tell me
how it'll make her
feel better.
240
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:37,217
Simple. There's nothing
that woman loves more than
taking care of us.
241
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,152
When she watches
her greatest hits,
242
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,754
she'll give me a hug
and forget all about
the other tape.
243
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,056
(CLICK)
244
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,825
* Never surrender
245
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,894
BARRY: Momtage!
246
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,363
Starring our mama.
247
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:53,601
Chores!
248
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,370
Living the dream!
249
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,407
Cooking foods!
250
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,377
Too hot, but thank you!
251
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,514
Unclogging stuff!
252
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,718
It was dad, not me!
253
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,754
Giant hair!
254
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,523
Fashion icon!
255
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,729
Yelling about safety!
256
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,733
We heart Beverly!
257
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,106
Well?
Good stuff, right?
258
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,742
Yeah, I'm going to
tell her myself,
259
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,144
because this will literally
send her into madness.
260
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:41,581
Why can't you trust me
that for once I make
things better?
261
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:42,915
BEVERLY:
You did it Cchmoo-Barry!
262
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,752
You went on the big potty!
263
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:47,020
We'll remember this forever.
264
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,822
No!
That's why!
265
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,558
Because you taped over
another priceless memory!
266
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,094
Chill!
I can fix this
with another Momtage.
267
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,299
ADULT ADAM: It had been
two days since my dad
came aboard
268
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:02,002
my greatest hobby,
and the results were epic!
269
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,103
Big news!
270
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,772
I got a tin of rugelach.
271
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,874
You two look like
you could use a break.
272
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,643
No breaks.
We're on a roll.
Check it out.
273
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,779
Here's our robot
in killer cyborg form.
274
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,147
Here he is shooting
his laser-guided fist.
275
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:18,318
And here he is using
a doppler radar
to predict black ice.
276
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:21,021
Hoo-hoo!
Can you imagine?
277
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,023
Now let's get to work.
On what?
278
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,692
Duh. Our robot.
279
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,494
Sure, it won't be easy,
but you said you'd tinker.
280
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,229
We can't build
this thing.
281
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,064
It's got
a time-travel thingy.
282
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,900
This technology
doesn't even exist!
283
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,567
Not with that attitude.
284
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,069
Okay, it's on me.
285
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,570
I should have known better
than to encourage
286
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,206
all this "robit"
nonsense.
287
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,540
Oh, like your
hobby's so great?
The weather. Feh.
288
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:44,544
Don't "feh" the weather.
It can make or break us.
289
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:47,748
Just ask those
poor bastards
down Tornado Alley.
290
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:48,949
Please.
291
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,584
My robot can defeat
any tornado
you throw at me.
292
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,520
Easy, fellas.
Have some rugelach.
293
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,322
Really?
A category-nine twister
294
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,524
versus this tin can?
Please!
295
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,993
It's got nuts and jam!
Just take a taste.
296
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,594
You fool.
297
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:05,065
My robot is made
out of indestructible
adamantium
298
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:08,068
and has a drill
that can dig into
the core of the earth
299
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,270
and change your
precious weather
patterns.
300
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,105
I should have
never agreed
to the drill!
301
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,606
I was on the fence
about it,
302
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,508
and now you're using it
against me!
303
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:16,576
My own son!
304
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:17,711
Just take a taste.
305
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,280
Al. Enough of
your deli cookie, please.
306
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,514
Just take a taste!
307
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,016
Look, you're not
a little kid anymore.
308
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,018
You got to stop
with these toys
309
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,720
and the fantasies
and the "robits."
310
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,021
It's robot.
311
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,990
Why won't you say it
the right way?
312
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,158
Say "robot"!
313
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,425
I am! "Robit"!
314
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:33,493
Ro-bot.
315
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,828
"Robit"!
Robot!
316
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,430
"Robit"!
Ro-bot!
317
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,099
It doesn't matter
what you call it.
318
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:41,601
You need to find a hobby
for a kid your age,
319
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:42,936
a hobby that's real.
320
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,604
None of this crap
is real!
321
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,339
You think
I don't know
what's not real?
322
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,108
Well, you sure as hell
act like it is!
323
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,778
It's called fun,
to pretend,
to imagine,
324
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,880
to think of things
that may be
possible one day.
325
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,281
It's what I do.
326
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,183
Hell, I'll go build
this robot right now
327
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,018
just to show you
anything's possible.
328
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:01,354
You're gonna go invent
a time-traveling "robit"
329
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,456
in your room
just to spite me?
330
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,126
Yes, and he will
walk and talk
331
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,295
and be the father
that you could
only hope to be.
332
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,396
At this point,
I'm very open
333
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,131
to a metal man
coming down here
334
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:12,900
and taking some of this
off my plate!
335
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,902
Good!
'Cause it's done!
336
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,970
No, no, no.
Again, I'm really
into it.
337
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,309
Rugelach is
a friendship snack.
338
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,444
ADULT ADAM: As I
convinced myself
to build a robot,
339
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:27,414
Erica convinced Barry
to come clean to my mom.
340
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,784
Hi, ma. You can
unload those groceries
by yourself later.
341
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:32,786
Right now,
we need to talk.
342
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,187
What's wrong, squishy?
343
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,190
First, I'll kick things off
with a gravity-defying dunk
344
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,192
dedicated to my
very understanding
345
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,527
and forgiving mother.
346
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,495
I named it
"I love you, mama."
347
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,464
You're very sweet
to cheer me up, honey.
348
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,099
And remember that.
349
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:48,035
'Cause after my dunk,
I'm gonna tell
you all about
350
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,004
how I taped over
my birthday,
then framed you,
351
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,006
and then taped over
even more
precious stuff.
352
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,474
Watch me jam it home!
353
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,980
(ALL CHEERING)
354
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,415
That's right, JTP!
355
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:05,252
Get my mom riled up
with your infectious energy!
356
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,420
He soars like
an angel!
357
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,588
You did it?
358
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:11,825
And then made me
turn against Phil Donahue?
359
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,994
So you lost
a few irreplaceable
memories,
360
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,329
but think about
what you gained!
361
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,664
An explosive
jampilation
362
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,599
of my sweetest
rim encounters!
363
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,268
You think
I'd rather have a video
364
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:25,072
of you jam-dunking
on some low rim? Seriously?
365
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,607
Low?
That's NBA
regulation.
366
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:28,909
It's not.
I just told you that
367
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,777
to make you
feel good
about yourself.
368
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,012
It's low, bro.
Yeah, thing's tiny.
369
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,546
That's not regulation
at all.
370
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:34,915
Oh, my God!
371
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,383
I entered
the dunk contest
372
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,918
at the Villanova
game next week!
373
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,286
How could you
lie to me?
374
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,121
Because that's what
a good mama does.
375
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,322
Shes builds you up
376
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,290
and makes you feel like
you can do anything.
377
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,060
I've spent the
past decade
planning to be
378
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,229
a basketball legend
and rap star!
379
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,464
Now I'm just gonna be
some lowly rap mogul?
380
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,867
That can't be the life
you want for me!
381
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,636
What I want
is my old tapes back,
382
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,738
but that's not happening,
either, is it?
383
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,474
My life's a sham.
384
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,044
Goodbye, dreams.
385
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:05,678
ADULT ADAM:
As my brother's dreams
were dying,
386
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,647
I was realizing
it really was impossible
387
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,316
to give life to a robot.
388
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:12,152
Hey!
What are the rules?
389
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,154
Don't come in your room,
don't touch your crap,
390
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,622
and don't come in your room
to touch your crap.
391
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,524
And right now,
you're breaking
all of them. Get out.
392
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,326
I'm sorry, okay?
393
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,561
But I really need
the electrical guts
inside this boom box.
394
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:25,132
For what?
To build a spite robot
that can replace dad,
395
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,299
a nice one
that keeps
his pants on.
396
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,400
Take a seat.
397
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:33,440
All right,
how do I say this?
Uh...
398
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,208
It's time to give up
your stupid thing.
399
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,510
What?
No, no, no, no.
Never.
400
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,612
Trust me. I'm talking
from experience here.
401
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:44,384
When I was your age,
this was my hobby.
402
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,719
Strawberry shortcake.
Heard of it?
403
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,788
Yeah, they're those
chubby dolls
that smell like pie.
404
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,823
Put her in your hand
and tell me what you smell.
405
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,226
(SNIFFS)
406
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,327
Nothing.
407
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,562
Exactly.
408
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,897
I smelled her so long
and so hard
409
00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:00,767
that all the berry is gone,
and you know why?
410
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:04,104
Because I was playing
with these until I was
in the ninth grade.
411
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,305
Oh, God.
412
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,175
No one liked
this girl, Adam.
No one.
413
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,010
Everyone else moved on
to real hobbies
414
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:13,380
like sports and boys
and wine coolers,
415
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,982
and I was still sniffing
the straw.
416
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,617
But robots are
way cooler than
those dolls.
417
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,919
Are they, Adam?
Are they?
418
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,690
It's time, dude.
Move on.
419
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,360
ADULT ADAM:
The last thing I wanted
420
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,829
was to be that sad,
little geek in the photo.
421
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:32,332
At that moment,
I realized my dad was right.
422
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:35,402
It was time
to give up robots forever.
423
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:41,308
While Barry's heart was broken
424
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,842
'cause he'd never play
in the NBA,
425
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,011
my mom felt even worse
426
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,413
'cause she was the one
who broke it.
427
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,182
Goodbye,
round mound
of rebound.
428
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:51,118
It would have been nice
to be your teammate
429
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,952
until I became
a franchise player
430
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,854
and you got traded
to Utah in disgrace.
431
00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:00,493
ADULT ADAM: In that moment,
my mom knew that
some taped memory
432
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,029
from the past
wasn't as important
433
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,964
as making Barry feel good
about his future.
434
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:07,667
And so Beverly Goldberg
did what she does best,
435
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,203
build up her children
in an unrealistic way.
436
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,305
BEVERLY: Barry, wait.
Mom, I'm going
to school
437
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,973
'cause I actually
have to learn stuff now
438
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,143
'cause I'm not getting
drafted by the Sixers
next month.
439
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,644
Love bug,
just sit down.
440
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,312
There's something
I want you to see.
441
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,380
(CLICKS)
442
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,349
* Never surrender
443
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,251
See, I took
the word "schmoo"
444
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,054
and combined it
with "compilation."
445
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,555
Mom, don't bother.
446
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:29,889
It's not gonna make
anything better.
447
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,091
Shh.
448
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,093
BEVERLY: (ON TV)
Starring Barry Goldberg.
449
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,294
Hee-yah!
450
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,129
Ne-yah! Ne-yah!
451
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,430
(GRUNTS)
452
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,665
Fists...
453
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,268
BEVERLY: Kara-te Power!
454
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,436
* You were born a fighter
455
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,473
* In the blood,
a mighty warrior
456
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,840
BEVERLY: Jumping Stuff!
457
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,942
* Driven by desire
458
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,611
* Glory calls
459
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,413
BEVERLY: Popping and locking!
460
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,815
* It's waiting for you
(SCREAMS)
I hate this game!
461
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,184
BEVERLY: Passion!
462
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,251
* When they try
to break you down
463
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,387
* You can take it
(WATER RUNNING)
464
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,122
* That don't shake you
BEVERLY: Long showers!
465
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:05,358
* When your back's
against the wall
(BEEPING)
466
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,727
* The thrill of the fight's
got you standing tall
467
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:09,229
BEVERLY: Treasure!
* Never surrender
468
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:12,031
Adam! Get out!
Stop video...
469
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:13,532
BEVERLY: Hero!
(CLAPPING)
470
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,068
* You've got the heart
of a hero
BEVERLY: Whoo!
471
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,303
* Never Surrender
472
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,671
But you forgot to mention
my frisbee skills...
473
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,839
(CLICKS)
...and how easily I can
make friends with horses.
474
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,108
See?
475
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,511
You're so much more
than basketball, honey.
476
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:29,015
You are amazingly
talented at so
many amazing things.
477
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,883
I am good
at basically everything.
478
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,320
I just couldn't live
with myself
479
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,389
if I knew
I took away
your dreams.
480
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:39,392
So, does this mean
you forgive me
for ruining your tapes?
481
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,028
Of course.
482
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:45,365
Look, I know it's crazy
how much I love them,
483
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,101
but they just remind
me of a time
484
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,702
when you still
needed me.
485
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:50,870
Mom.
486
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,705
Look at all the stuff
you do for me.
487
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,907
Everything I am
is because of you.
488
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,209
I'll always need you.
489
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,044
(ROD STEWART'S
FOREVER YOUNG PLAYING)
490
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:06,986
Goodbye, R2 and 3PO.
491
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:09,522
I guess you are not
the droids
I was looking for.
492
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,792
Well, you did it.
493
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,827
He's giving up
all his robots.
494
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:16,663
I didn't want that.
495
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,498
I just wanted him
to grow up a little bit.
496
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,699
Look at him.
497
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,701
He's watching
the damn weather.
498
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,171
He has the rest
of his life to be
one of us.
499
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:26,139
Why rush him into it?
500
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,675
Oh, damn.
I hate when you're right.
501
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,345
* And may sunshine
and happiness
502
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,013
Where you going?
503
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,550
I'm gonna finish
a learning-based
project.
504
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,386
ADULT ADAM: Just as I had
given up robots,
505
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:43,055
my dad went out and bought me
the one I always wanted.
506
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,791
* Dignified and true
(WHIRRING)
507
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:48,328
MURRAY: Hello, Earth Boy.
It's me, Short Circuit.
508
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:49,529
Just go away.
509
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,898
Be-bop-boop!
Be-bop-boop!
510
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,366
Not interested.
511
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,235
MURRAY: But Jimmy 5 is alive!
512
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,238
(CHUCKLES) I'm alive!
513
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,307
(BLEEP)
514
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,575
It's Johnny 5,
and you're not alive.
515
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,110
You're a stupid toy.
516
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:05,445
* And in my heart,
you'll always stay
517
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,380
Look. I know what I said.
518
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:08,848
* Forever young
519
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:11,984
And I'd never
want you to stop
with the "robit" stuff
520
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,152
because of me.
521
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,454
It's fine, dad.
522
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,323
You're not the only one
who said I should move on.
523
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,557
Well, they're wrong.
524
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,526
I like that you got
a big imagination
525
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,695
and you like all that
crazy time-travel stuff.
526
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,331
You do?
Yeah.
527
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:25,432
It's what makes you, you,
528
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,933
and I wouldn't want to
change that.
529
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,535
* Build a stairway to heaven
530
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,037
Maybe a little.
You're a weird kid.
531
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:32,205
Thanks.
532
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:34,073
So what do you say
we take this sucker out
533
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:36,042
and try and get it struck
by lightning?
534
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,610
Bring this "robit"
to life.
535
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,246
It's robot.
536
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,981
And it's impossible
to know when lightning's
gonna strike next.
537
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:45,117
Hey. You got your hobby.
I got mine.
538
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,286
ADULT ADAM: And with that,
539
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,655
my dad and I combined
our hobbies.
540
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,490
Of course, lightning
never struck my robot
541
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,024
and Jimmy 5 never came alive.
542
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:55,228
But that night,
my dad and I made a memory
543
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:58,298
that would last a lifetime,
544
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,100
something we would always
have to look back on.
545
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,604
* Forever young
(SNIFFS)
546
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:06,873
ADULT ADAM: That's the thing
about letting go of the past.
547
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,207
It's never easy.
548
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:10,710
And sometimes,
we never let go of it at all.
549
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,545
But the amazing thing
about life
550
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:17,049
is that we make new precious
memories every single day.
551
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:18,551
* Forever young
Hey, mom.
552
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:21,488
I was gonna go
outside and throw down
some monster jams.
553
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,889
Maybe you want to
come watch?
554
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,124
I'd love to, baby.
555
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:30,797
* Forever young
556
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:34,033
ADULT ADAM: And the memories
come when you least expect it.
557
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:38,705
* Forever young
558
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,039
ALL: Oh!
559
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,207
(LAUGHTER)
560
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,175
(ALL CHEERING)
561
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,018
ALL: Oh!
562
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,388
I have awful news.
563
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:56,823
Do you remember
that video of me
564
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,224
playing with my strawberry
shortcake dolls
565
00:20:58,291 --> 00:20:59,726
when I was little?
566
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,193
I accidentally
taped over it.
567
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,962
Erica, how could you?
568
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,632
I'm sorry. I guess I just
messed up like Barry did.
569
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,300
Yeah, that's
a real shame.
570
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,835
Lucky for us,
I made a copy.
571
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:10,136
What?
572
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:11,638
Oh.
Barry!
573
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:12,872
ERICA: (ON TV) Good morning,
blueberry muffin!
574
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,140
You smell delicious today!
575
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:15,808
Oh, why, thank you,
cherry cuddler.
576
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,645
Do you want to join us at
the berry bake shoppe for tea?
577
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,313
Oh, well, I can't
because I have plans
578
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,049
with my boyfriend,
David Hasselhoff!
579
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,384
(ALL LAUGHING)
So adorable.
580
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:25,718
You're so dead!
581
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:26,886
Classic.
So awkward.
582
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,220
I love her so much.
43069
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