Original subtitles

I am Dylan Sprouts, and you're watching Disney Channel.

Okay, guys, dinner.

Uh, Mom?

Mm -hmm? The macaroni's a little underdone.

So's the cheese.

sorry. Mosby's got me doing extra shows.

Last night it was a busload of German tourists.

I oompaed till I couldn't oomp again.

Mom, you need a vacation.

And by you, I mean we.

Let's go to the Pawtucket Aquarium. I hear they just opened their swim with

jellyfish attraction.

They won't sting you if you cover yourself in whale urine.

I'd rather get

Here I am in your life Here you are in mine Guess we have a sweet life

to put your thinking cap on. Oh, I don't have a thinking cap. I have a thinking

tiara.

Good. Put that on because we need to come up with a new topic for your next

webisode.

Me!

Okay, but maybe we could come up with something other people might be

in.

Me!

Okay, something not in this room.

Not working.

London, you're sure reaching so many people.

I mean, haven't you ever thought about using it to help the less fortunate?

You're talking about yourself, aren't you?

No, even less fortunate.

Is that possible?

Yes, I see your frugal family fun pack only includes three bathroom tokens.

is that per day?

Per week.

going to the world's largest ball of twine. But while we're there, no

Never mind.

Mom, forget the twine. We are going on a cruise to the Caribbean.

Great idea, honey. Zach, you fill up the bathtub. Cody, you blow up the inner

tube. I'll fire up the SS imagination.

No, no, no, no, Mom. You don't get it. It's a real luxury cruise liner, the SS

Tipton. We got a special deal because you're... Because I'm a Tipton employee.

I'd better get my swimsuits. I'd better hit the treadmill.

I can't believe that I don't have to sing for a whole week.

When are we going to tell her that the cruise is only free if she sings?

Right after the boat leaves the dock.

And that's how you fire your maid.

Good luck, sweetie.

Except those who can't fluff a pillow.

What are you doing? Helping my viewers. Well, it doesn't make you look good. I

know. That could be fiery.

So, for our next show, we'll be doing a telethon for 24 hours.

In a row.

And that's right.

All donations will be going to South Street Mission to help feed the hungry.

boy, do they need our help.

I said when I saw Aunt Martha in the pool.

Look at all these activities.

You could get a relaxing seaweed wrap.

I love you. I love you.

I love you.

Good.

We're going to bank that.

Welcome aboard.

I'm Miss Klotz. You must be Carrie Martin. And this must be...

Mr. Mosby. At length.

Remember, boys, the prison on a ship is called the brig.

That was oddly scary.

I've got your room key right here. You'll be staying in the King Neptune

Do I get my own bedroom?

And bathroom.

I love you.

And I love you.

We all love each other. Can't wait to see you tonight at the concert under the

stars. Oh, do I have to buy a ticket?

Yeah, like we're going to make you pay.

I even get complimentary show tickets.

I love you. I love you.

I love you.

Can we get that?

As the greatest stern I've ever seen.

Hey, do you think I put on too much sunscreen?

Do you know they serve a meal between breakfast and brunch?

Really? Where is it?

Right here.

I am so happy. You know, right now, back in Boston, I'd be getting ready to do a

show tonight.

Hey, Mom, do you know that they have skeet shooting on the Fiesta deck?

They have it.

You know, I've always wanted to shoot a skeet. Then let's go.

my picture doing up there um then take pictures of people and uh

pick the prettiest passenger of the day congratulations

mom and

then they ask her to sing

well thank goodness you have such a good voice

Now I'm going to use it to yell at you.

We're sorry, Mom, but this was the only way that we could afford this vacation.

If I have to sing, then it's not a vacation.

Well, it is for us.

And it's a vacation for you, too.

You just have to do one show at 7, and another at 9 .30, and the Midnight Songs

for Lovers show, and the Sunday Singles Mixer, and the Mr. Silver Fox pageant,

and you have to have dinner with the winner.

actually have is right now attention carrie martin will now host our limbo

contest how low can you go

you two are the most

uh

mom you might not want to strain your voice before the show

are going to be ringing off the hook.

Girls, I have bad news.

Not now, Mosby. I don't like being bummed out before my broadcast.

It messes up my yay me smile.

Look, you're not going to have any performance for your telethon tonight.

See that?

Now I've got a boo you frown.

The blizzard has closed all the roads. None of your acts can get here.

There's a blizzard?

Okay, okay, we'll just have to fill in for the axe until the storm stops.

Who wants to be the Shih Tzu?

No! No!

No! A thousand times no!

Aw, come on, little fella.

Who's the good puppy?

Please,

Mr. Mosby, it's for a good cause.

Oh, all right.

As long as I don't have to do anything too humiliating.

you're a better singer than you are a comedian.

Um, that's actually really my point is that I'd rather not sing.

Uh -huh.

No problem.

Good luck floating back to Boston.

Um, okay.

Maybe could I pay for my room?

Oh, lovely.

Here's the rate for the King Neptune suite.

Holy mackerel. Oh, no, no.

Here's... the rate for the holy mackerel sweets.

Don't you have anything less expensive?

Oh, great.

A storeroom.

What do you think they store in here?

Us.

And apparently barnacle poison.

Off limits, boys.

So they moved us to the lower deck. At least we have a porthole.

Someone is making a pledge.

Oh, is there a donor on the phone, Irene?

Huh? I'm just checking my messages.

isn't any better. Well, here's one position we haven't tried.

Are you okay?

Yeah, but next time I bunk with him, I'm bringing a parachute.

I'll just make myself a little bed.

You know, when life gives you lemons,

pogo stick with a cheap haircut.

Okay, why don't we check the tote board?

Kept me up all night.

Well, when it comes out of that end, it ain't called snoring.

Okay,

guys, here you go.

The big plates are for full fare passengers only.

Here are the plates for the sardine suite.

You're a heartless woman.

Didn't bother me when my 4X husband said it. Doesn't bother me when you say it.

Divorced four times?

Oh, no, no.

Widowed.

Use your hips as a fulcrum.

Here we go.

Uh -uh -uh. One trip only.

All right. Wait.

Please, please, please, please wait.

All right. I'll sing. You win.

Enjoy the big plate.

Amazing plates.

Have you seen them?

You know, we should have just given them the french fries.

Wait a minute.

That's a great idea.

There's so much food here at the Tipton that it goes to waste.

That's true.

You know, once or twice a week, we should bundle that up and give it to the

hungry. Yes!

Let's do it!

Okay, as soon as the roads open up, we'll all go down to the shelter. Yay!

Sleep in the sun.

What's that white circle?

I was eating a donut.

Ow. Ow.

Ow. Okay, that hurts.

Well, if you can't even take one step, how are you going to sing tonight?

And if you can't sing tonight, we're going to end up back in that kennel.

Then there's only one thing to do.

Throw Miss Klotz overboard?

Okay, two things.

You've got nothing to lose.

We're gonna have a great cruise.

I will hold you close, dear, as we dance beneath the skies. I feel the breeze

caress us as I gaze into your eyes.

Won't you take my hand?

Sorry about this amateur display.

I'm going to drop you on an island so small you're going to have to take turns

standing on it.

Oh, look, Miss Klotz. We're really, really sorry, but we had to do this. Our

can't sing.

What he means is she's a great singer, but she's so badly sunburned that she

barely move.

This could be one little thing that we could do for her.

The education's drift away upon the seven seas.