Original subtitles

Mr. Mosby?

Lovely day, isn't it?

What do you want?

A summer job at the hotel.

Forget it. We're not hiring hooligans.

Don't you need someone to cover the candy counter while Maddie's away?

No, I have found an excellent replacement.

Millicent, how are the candy sales this morning?

Sales? I'm supposed to charge people for candy?

Yes,

that would... explain the cash register.

Oops! I thought it was an ATM.

I guess this cash belongs to you.

Here I am in your life.

Here you are in mine.

Yes, we have a sweet life.

school, which you have to go to for failing the eighth grade. Just English

class. Besides, plenty of our greatest leaders failed the eighth grade.

Like who?

There was that Abe guy with the beard and the tall hat. He lived in Gettysburg

and died at the movies.

And yet somehow you passed history.

After this one, too, I'm going to take Mosby up on his offer to pay for

school so you can either pay attention now or stand at attention later.

Have fun.

Hey, man.

How's it going?

Not good. I'm trying to pick a desk.

If I sit by the blackboard, the teacher will call me. But if I sit in the back

and there's a fire, I might not make it out.

But if I sit by the window, a large bird could swoop in and carry me away.

I'm Zach. And you are? Shy.

Painfully shy.

Don't look at me!

You're in my seat.

Your seat?

It's the first day of summer school.

Not for me. I've been coming here for four years. It's my name carved in the

desk. Brick.

Brick? Is that because you're all red -faced and shaped like a giant

Straight for Brickford, you twerp -face!

My nickname.

Hello, class.

Welcome.

I am Mrs.

Bird. That's B -E -R -D. Bird.

Now, there is only one person who wants to be here less than you, and that is

me. So listen up, and nobody gets hurt.

summer school, I thought we would start with some thematic poetry about summer.

Sorry,

I mean some rhymy words about the hot time.

Okay.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Who do you think that Shakespeare was addressing?

Did you want to answer?

Yes. No.

Yes. Never mind.

Anybody else want to take a crack at it? Rick, nice to see you again.

Laura.

Who do you think that Shakespeare is addressing?

False.

How about you, sweetie?

Oh, no.

Everybody's staring at me.

skater boy.

Well, I don't know. I think Shakespeare is hitting on a chick

by telling her she's hot like a summer's day.

No, that's... That's right.

Good job.

Oh, no.

I am a nerd.

Hiya!

Welcome to Paul Revere Mini Marts. The savings are coming! The savings are

coming!

I'm Wayne.

How may I help you?

Well, I see that you have a Help Wanted sign in your window.

Here's my resume.

It's got my school records, volunteer work, achievement awards, and career...

objectives. Wow.

You're really smart and organized.

Yep. I hate that.

I want a helper monkey who will dance when I say dance.

Well, I can do that.

Eep. Eep.

Sorry, kid.

You're just not cut out for the Paul Revere lifestyle.

What lifestyle?

It's just a bag boy job.

Just a bag boy job?

See, that proves how little you know about the grocery game.

Being a bag boy takes skill and training.

Now run along, kid.

Don't be a pain in the wane.

Oh, hi, Cody.

Hey, London.

What are you doing here?

I'm hitting up every store, buying up all this week's teen trend magazines.

There's a photo of me scarfing down a crab cake, and it ain't pretty.

Well, it couldn't be that bad. Whoa.

that tunnel exactly look i'm in a rush so take care of this for me and keep the

change i can't believe you know london tipton i've got a blog dedicated

to her love to love london i've watched her walk by the store for months just

hoping she'd come in and buy some beef jerky and share it with me until our

meet

job here.

Hey, get me a date with London Tipton and you're hired.

Couldn't I just do the monkey dance again?

Are you questioning the appeal of Wayne Co., a division of Handsome Industries?

No, no, no, no, not at all. But I'll set it up. But you might want to use your

employee discount on some breath spray.

Get some dandruff shampoo.

Oh, and ease up on the hair gel.

I graded your multiple choice quizzes.

Mark, you circled A, B, C, and D for every question.

It's hard to pick one letter.

Not for me.

F.

Haley, you can come out from under your bag. You got the next highest grade in

the class.

A D.

Minus.

What'd you get, nerd?

It doesn't matter.

A A. You got an A?

Shut up. Yes, sir.

You should all follow Zach's fine example.

This is a student who cares.

Someone who went the extra mile.

Someone who didn't quit.

That's lunch.

If anybody needs help opening their pudding, ask Zach.

It's a good one.

Well, it's not a big favor.

I just wanted to go on a date with the manager of the Paul Revere mini -mart.

So you've seen him?

Seen him? Oh, the savings are coming! The savings are coming!

Hey, London, do you think you can do me a teensy -weensy favor?

No.

You had no idea what I was even going to say.

You were going to say... There's this guy who's obsessed with me because I'm

most amazing person in the world, and he just has to have a date with me.

That's not what I was going to say at all.

I was going

to say that there's this guy who works for a fashion magazine.

Oh, which one? I read them all.

It's a new one.

You don't want to meet him.

Who says I didn't want to meet him?

You. Well, what do I know? Set it up.

It's a date, then.

See?

Easy as pie.

Yes, you've just set up a date, which is not a date. Someone thinks it's a date,

and the other person thinks it's an interview. I mean, what could possibly

wrong?

You're right.

Maybe I should be there disguised as a plant.

Yeah, that'll fix it.

has heard of Robert Frost.

And no, he is not a singing snowman in a Christmas special.

He is a poet.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.

Now, from the first line, can anyone tell me what season it is?

Paprika?

No, not seasoning.

Season. Time of year.

Zach?

The leaves are changing. It's autumn.

Come on, Zach.

You're the only reason I get up in the morning and drag my butt to this

to ignorance.

What season is it?

Baseball season?

No. It's autumn.

It is? That must mean summer school's over.

Did I mention you have detention?

Zach, I don't understand.

You were doing so well.

What got into you? My underwear.

And I didn't want it to happen again.

Hey, Zach, let's go.

He's not going anywhere. Zachary has detention.

Detention?

Great, now I'm stuck here too.

Listen, young man, you had better not fail out of summer school. You're

out of seasons.

If you think that I am... No talking.

Okay.

Who here has read the rest of the poem?

Did you read it or not, Mark?

like I wish we could do with the entire summer, let's skip to the end.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and

that has made all the difference.

What do you think is Frost's point?

Zach? This should be hilarious.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I took the one less traveled by,

and that's... has made all the difference.

What Frost is trying to say is that life is full of choices.

And even though it's easier to go along with what everybody else is doing, going

the more difficult way will pay off in the long run.

Good one, Zach.

That was right.

That was exactly right.

Good to have you back, Zach.

And this will probably shock you.

Outside these walls, it's considered a good thing.

So go ahead, call me a nerd.

But next year, when you're all here, I won't be. I'll be taking the road less

traveled right to the beach.

Here's a tip on how to score some mega points with London.

She loves to talk about herself, so ask her lots of questions.

Almost like you're interviewing her for your blog.

I was just going to show off the guns.

Bang!

It's a privilege to meet you, London.

I've dreamed about this moment for years.

Well, I don't give a face -to -face to just anyone.

The Cody says you're the man in charge.

Yep, nights and weekends.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.

The man never stops working.

Okay, now go away. Wayne wants to talk to a beauty, not a cootie.

I didn't bring anything to write with.

Well, that seems odd, considering you... Dropped your pen?

Uh, in this waiter's pocket. You know, luckily I came back and found it.

She also loves it when you take notes.

I just think... So, you must meet a lot of royalty in your line of work.

Oh, yeah, sure. We do a lot of business with Salva Salami.

that the rest of the class is going to give you an atomic wedgie if you do

Nope.

Hey.

What's up, Zach?

Hey, guys.

Wow, looking pretty tonight, Haley. New bag?

Thanks for noticing.

Rick, you're here to study, too?

Yeah, I gotta get into high school already.

I mean, I can't deal with those tiny toilets anymore!

Shakespeare wrote an iambic pentameter.

Zack?

Now sit down and don't disrupt my class again or I'll give you detention.

Hey, you got a date to the prom yet?

Oh, shucks. If only you'd asked me sooner.

Pretty good, I guess. I have naturally low blood pressure.

Like a jungle cat.

And that helped

you sell magazines?

Helped me sell everything.

No one can resist when Captain Wayne sets his phaser on charm.

be moving on to the picture taking portion of the evening pictures i'll

um the photographer must be in the bathroom um wayne can i borrow your

all right now work it should

be taking pictures of me that are going to be in a magazine

Typical interview date.

Am I on a date with London Tipton or not?

Not! Cody, am I being interviewed by the editor of Heiress Magazine?

I'm not the editor of Heiress Magazine.

I work at the Paul Revere...

Excuse you of cheating, but I don't want to do the paperwork.

You know what, Mrs. Bird, with all due respect, I don't think you're giving

these kids enough credit.

They can rise to a challenge.

You're the best, Zach. You rock.

I love you.

Zach, you make a good point. Starting today, I'm going to make this class a

whole...

Strangely relaxing.

Hey, Wayne. You wanted to see me?

Right.

Welcome to the Paul Revere family.

Really? You're not mad about the other night?

Please. It takes more than that to derail the Wayne train.

The date was bogus.

The pictures you took weren't.

I posted them on my blog.

Suddenly, a lot of ladies want to take a spin on the tilt -a -way.

So, what's my first job, boss?

Unpack that box of bananas from South America.

What's this for?

Those tropical spiders can get pretty big.