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My boy.
two of these that shift it? Oh, no, it's a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Mind
you, the... Angie, where exactly is your headache?
In her foot.
No, I mean, whereabouts in your head? Is it frontal or backle?
Or is it topple?
Sort of in here.
Oh, I get those. In fact, with a bit of encouragement, I could get one now. Oh,
don't encourage her, Angie. Shane!
Is it unimportant to you that your wife has a headache?
Right at this moment, it's more important that old Mrs. Mosscroft gets
help. Ninety -four and partially sighted. I'll be with you in a minute,
Well, luckily, Angie, I'm with you now.
I'll give you these.
Take two and you'll be right as ninepence in no time at all. Thanks,
minute. What are you giving us?
Oh, good morning, Doctor. How can I help you?
Headache pills.
Let's have a look at them.
Let's have a look at these. What are you doing with all this lot?
You know what I mean. Where did they come from?
Out of me handbag.
Ida! Now, don't start shouting.
Angie's got a headache. Which is getting worse.
Are these what you just gave her? Yes.
You haven't taken any, have you? No.
Then don't. These are sleeping pills.
No, they are not.
They are headache pills in a sleeping pill bottle.
Then where are your sleeping pills?
In a drawer by me bed.
That almost makes sense.
What are these?
Have a look.
Oh, they're piss.
See, I've written PK in the corner. You can't be too careful with medicines, you
know. Did someone say painkillers? But these aren't even yours.
What are you talking about? Of course they're mine.
Then why does the label say Mrs. Green?
Because it was Mrs. Green I got them from.
This gets worse. What do you mean, got them from?
Oh, well, swapped them with.
You see, my doctor used to give me tranquilizers, which I didn't need and
want, so I gave to Mrs. Green.
Now, her doctor gave her painkillers, which she didn't need and didn't want
gave to me.
We didn't think of swapping doctors, but it seems simple.
Swap pills?
I see.
Well, don't you want to know what I wanted painkillers for?
A headache?
Let me guess.
A swap for a bottle of cough medicine.
Corn plasters, but you were wrong.
And these haven't even got a label on.
Because I took it off, so as I'll know what's in it.
Well, what is in it?
Sweetness for me coffee when I'm out.
Right, then these you can keep, but these you can say goodbye to.
But, James, that's my medicine chest. What will I do if I'm ill?
What everybody else does. See a doctor.
Aren't you lucky you live over the shop?
Once and for all, I don't know I...
Not she, no. Why not?
Because I'm not allowed to. Miss Parfitt, will you please explain to my
that I'm not allowed to examine her, treat her or prescribe for her? Oh, no,
Willocky mustn't. It would be unethical. But all I want is a couple of... You're
Dr Sharpe's patient, Ida. Any problems, see him. Make an appointment, will you,
Miss Parfitt?
Righty -ho, Doctor.
I'll see you later, Ida.
Righty -ho.
Oh, never mind about the appointment.
There's a list of what I want. I'll call for the prescriptions later.
Headache pills?
Oh, the white ones, please.
Painkillers? The green ones, if you've got them.
Stomach pills?
Now, what colour would you call them?
Oh, you see the colour of your blouse?
Well, like that, only not so muddy.
Anyway, I'll leave it with you, and you will thank Dr Sharp for me, won't you?
Mrs Willis, come back.
Doctor will want to see you. you.
Willie? Why?
Well, to decide what's wrong with you. But there's nothing wrong with me.
That's for Dr. Sharp to say. I'm putting you down for 5 .15 on Friday, and
please don't be late. It can cause inconvenience to others.
Inconvenience? Well, go to the foot of our stairs.
Oh, I'm already at the foot.
Dr. Surgery, what seems to be the trouble?
Oh, one moment, Mr. Do you want that 5 .15 appointment, Mrs Willis? Well, you
see, the thing is... 5 .15 on Friday, Mr Braithwaite. Bye -bye.
No mention to him about inconvenience to others, I note.
Mr Braithwaite is never late.
Well, neither would I have been.
Anyway, that's beside the point. What am I going to do?
What about, Mrs Willis? About restocking me medicine chest.
Oh, that?
Yes, that.
Why not make an appointment to see Dr Sharp?
There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza.
Look, I'm a broken woman, so when can you fit me in?
Monday evening at 6 .45.
6 .45? I'll just be putting me brussels on.
But anyway, that's next. We... It's the best I can do, Mrs Willis. Miss Parfitt,
I don't want to mention this. Normally I would...
and Mummy.
Which is why we mustn't play favourites.
We don't want talk, do we? About you and me? No, we don't.
I'm just as hard on myself.
It's months since Doctor looked at my chest.
Oh, that's out of your bowl.
So what about Monday?
Oh, well, if it's the best you can do.
Oh, good idea. It's still here. I found something of yours in the high street.
But I haven't been in the high street.
Come on. In you come.
Hi, Ida.
Hello, Edith.
Well, if it isn't our friendly neighbourhood gravedigger.
What's the matter with you?
I've come with me arm.
Oh, dear.
What seems to be the trouble?
Everything. I can't do this.
And I can't do this.
You just did both.
And you'll never know what it cost me.
Can I have a sick note, I shame?
Oh, not from me, you can't, no. Why not?
I know why not. Because it wouldn't be ethical, right?
Right. Make him an appointment to see Dr. Sharp. Righty -hoo, Doctor.
Will he give me a thick note?
What about that to him?
What about Monday evening at 6 .45?
Well, you just offered that to me.
And you said no.
I didn't say a word.
Then you didn't say yes.
Doctor's surgery.
Fully booked until Christmas.
You'll have to see Dr. Sharp.
I think it's pisspoticle.
Pardon?
I can't see a doctor till Monday, and here I am sat next to one. How many more
times? I can't treat you, Wilfred. Why not?
Because I'm emotionally involved.
Because you're what?
Because I'm emotionally involved.
Who with?
With you, Wilfred.
With you.
And is that why you won't? It's against the law. I know it is.
And so it should be.
Oh, shame.
I'm sorry, Wilfred.
Now, look.
Let me put it to you like this.
Don't.
Don't what? Don't put it to me anyway, lad.
Lucky for you, I'm a man of the world.
This would have killed your grandad.
Are you feeling any better, Wilfred? No, I'm not. I've had a setback.
Shane, look at little Ansy. Yes?
And look at me.
Well? Well, tell me, which of us is prettiest?
She is.
Hang on to that lad in the dark days ahead.
You don't mind eating in here, do you?
Oh, I can see you don't. I wouldn't mind drinking in here as well.
Good. Here's your coffee.
Aren't you having anything, Ida? No, thanks, love. I've got a headache on the
way. How can you possibly tell that?
Years of experience and not a pill in the place.
Oh, Robert, you can't see Ida with a headache.
I saw you with one.
And I gave her two aspirin.
Big deal.
I think it's crazy you can't give your own mother a prescription.
Angie, it's not crazy. It's like I was saying to Wilfred. I'm emotionally
involved. Not with your mother as well.
Well, of course, naturally.
You've got to be a very brave little girl.
Why? Why?
Because... Oh, it's agony.
I can't put it off any longer.
How did you come by it?
You know, it happened in a flash.
The vicar came round.
Asked me to dig a grave for old Mrs. Promfret. She's dead, you know. She'd
to be.
I'd be happy to, vicar, I said.
That's what I'm paid for, I said. And I reached for my spade.
Oh, yes.
And what happened next?
Click. Click?
It's been locked ever since.
And will be until they put a stone on old Mrs.
Promfret.
Oh. What is it, Ryder? My headache's arrived.
Oh, it's one of those dull, throbbing ones.
Count yourself lucky. My arm's sharp and stabbing. I'm going to have to lie down
after lunch. I think I will as well.
Will you listen to the pair of them? Robert, they're in pain.
Well, give them a couple of aspirin each.
Shane, tell me something.
What? How do aspirin know where to go?
What do you mean?
Well, supposing my two went to me arm and his two went to his head?
They all go to your central nervous system.
Which I've got nothing wrong with.
I think I might have.
Where is it?
Behind your right ear.
Behind my right ear?
Oh, it's agonising.
Oh, give him a signal.
That's your left ear.
This is your right ear.
about your corner shop. Something warm and welcoming.
You, Mrs Willis. You've got your Brenda on your mind, haven't you?
When's she due?
A week ago.
They're threatening to seduce her.
They've left it late.
She's only a baby herself.
How old is your Brenda?
32.
I'm worried sick, Mrs Willis. You will be, Mrs Croft. I didn't close an eye
night. I heard the church clock strike four.
And it don't do that till ten past eight.
Why didn't you take a sleeping pill?
I took my last a week ago when she had her first false alarm.
I didn't expect they'd mind. I took two headache pills and a painkiller and
never so much as nodded off.
You said headache pills. Oh, bottles and bottles of them.
You what?
I get them from Vera Lacey. She says your son hands them out like smarties.
to me, he doesn't. Well, he wouldn't, would he?
You were Dr Shark.
patient, aren't you? Yes.
And he doesn't hand them out at all.
Doesn't he?
Well, not to me.
That's why I get them off Vera Lacey.
Luckily, she doesn't use them. She's never had a headache in her life.
Then why does she get them? To give to me, to exchange for painkillers, which
your son does not hand out like Smarties. But Dr. Sharp does, doesn't
doesn't. Does he dish anything out?
Inhalants. He's hot on inhalants.
But not headache pills.
And not painkillers. Then where do you get yours from?
Me painkillers? From our Neville.
Do I know your Neville?
Course you do.
Brings his dogs here on a Sunday.
Oh, yes, three Alsatians. And two Chihuahuas. I don't think I've noticed
You wouldn't have.
They're in lovely condition, mind.
Oh, I'm glad to hear it. I'm fond of cats.
But let's get this straight.
Now then, you have headache pills.
Bottles and bottles from Vera Lacey.
And you've got painkillers. Boxes and boxes from our Neville. But what you
haven't got is sleeping pills.
I used to get them from old Mrs Pomfret, but of course a prescription died with
her.
Mrs Cross, if I were to say to you that I've got a bottle of sleeping pills
going spare...
What would you say to me?
Turn the sign to close, love.
Is that tonight's supper you're laying out, Ida? Well, it wasn't this morning's
breakfast.
How many places are you doing?
Three. One for Shane, one for Angie, and one for me.
I'm having bread and cheese.
We're having beef in red wine.
If I can ever get the cork out of this bottle. Oh, beef in red wine, eh?
I'll tell you what. What?
You open this and I'll lay another plate.
You're on.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to get the cork out.
Well, why don't you use this?
Wilfred, can you really not use that hand? I've been telling you all day.
Oh, come back all I say.
Is it really painful?
It's agony.
Well, I took Shane's aspirin. They didn't touch it. They fixed me nervous
system, mind.
Oh, I feel awful now.
So you should.
Can I have a drop of scotch? Just to ease the pain. Well, of course you can.
It's the least I can do. Oh, no, you can't. Not while you're taking pills.
I'm not taking pills.
You are, you know.
Follow me.
Now then, I'm putting you on a two -day course.
And if you know better, at the end, come back and see me again.
Have you got a clean hanky? Give it to me.
Oh, it is clean as well.
Right, here's two to take now, and I'll put the rest in here.
Take another two at eight o 'clock tonight, and then no more until tomorrow
morning, right?
But what are they for?
Painkillers. But where do you get them from?
The corner shop.
Over the counter?
No, under the counter.
But don't tell our Shane or you'll get me struck off.
Suppose they're any good?
Well, there's only one way to find out.
Right.
Come on, Wilfred.
Open wide.
Hang about.
I haven't finished doing the last part yet.
It's a bit quickly, isn't it?
Why can't he use his left arm? Because this is my best cloth.
All gone.
Andy, Wilfred said all gone.
Oh, sorry.
Here we go, Wilfred.
Oh, my.
It's like the chimps tea party, this.
Look, Wilfred, how bad is that arm? Well, as a matter of fact, thanks to our
iron, it's much better.
Yes, much.
Angie, my mouth's empty.
All right then, Wilfred. I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
Pour me a drink.
I'm going to treat you as an emergency.
And pour me a double.
As soon as you've finished eating, we'll go into a bedroom.
What for?
So you can take your shirt off and let me have a proper look. What's that?
Your arm.
What would he want to look at? That's what's worrying me.
You're ungrateful, you are. I think that's ever so nice of you, Shane. Don't
you, aren't you?
He's all heart, aren't you, darling?
Have you had enough, Wilfred? No, I haven't.
I'll have twice as much again and take twice as long to eat it.
What's the matter, Wilfred? Don't you want me to look at you? No, I don't.
Wilfred.
It's against the law, he said to himself.
Oh, that's worth bugging you.
I've never bugged him before.
I don't understand. What's all this about?
Don't. Don't tell a shame.
Don't break a little heart.
Forget me, lad. Put me out of your mind.
I wish I could.
I'll move away. You'll never see me again.
Promise? And you'd better come too, Ida.
Me? He fancies you as well, love.
What?
It's got to be said.
He's emotionally involved with us.
Oh? Yes, you and me.
Oh, Wilfred, you old fool.
You can't... Can't deny it. Those were your very words.
Emotionally involved.
Meaning that you're both members of my family. I can only treat you in
emergencies.
You mean you're not infatuated with us?
No, Wilfred, I'm not.
You don't fancy us?
I fought it and won.
Don't like little green pills.
Anyone for pudding?
Now, let me get this straight.
For 24 sleeping pills, you got 48 headache pills.
And 36 painkillers.
Which is a very good rate of exchange.
Much better than I got in Most Well Hill.
Heidi, you do realise, don't you, that sooner or later you're going to have to
tell me where you got all these?
Reveal my source?
Never. My lips are sealed.
That's a pity, because I'll have to ring the police.
You are.
Robert, you wouldn't. I must.
What none of you seem to realise is what a dangerous game she's playing.
Always like Jean Atman in The French Connection.
They're headache pills, not heroin.
How would you know?
Because you prescribe them, you... I what? I would like that
struck off the record. I didn't say it.
You did either, I heard you.
I'll get to you in a minute. All right, Ida, who did I prescribe them for?
I don't know. You do know. I don't know. I did know, but it slipped me mind.
All right, then, Ange, I'll be about an hour.
You're not going to the police?
No, I'm going to my surgery to consult the records, who I prescribed them for.
Can if you like?
I'd rather not. I've had a very busy day, and I've got a bit of a headache
myself. Oh, you have, Ferdinand. I have.
Here, take two of these, then.
But I don't even know what they are.
Well, of course you do. You prescribe them yourself for Mrs Lacey.
Mrs Lacey?
Oh, that would bite me tongue out.
Is Mrs Lacey Mr Big?
What, Mary Lacey?
Nah, she's just a cog in the wheel.
Then who is Mr Big, Ida? You can't ask her that, lad.
She'd be laying her life on the line, wouldn't you, Ida?
Would I?
The last supergraph that got caught.
Ended up in a concrete mixer.
Robert? What? This Mr. Big. What about him? Well, he couldn't be whoever you
prescribed these for, could he?
Well, he could be, except I didn't prescribe those. I don't even know what
are. They're painkillers. I'm very good, too.
Hey, I've got to take my next dose.
We're afraid.
They're awful.
But you can't have everything.
Who could that be, do you suppose?
It's probably Shanghai Charlie with my next concern, Deloncion.
Ask him if I can pay by access.
You don't think it's really someone like that, do you? It's probably Miss
Parfitt, forgotten her knitting again.
Oh, yeah.
I'll keep the chain on the door, though.
Do you know something? You've got that girl believing I really am in a drug
ring. Heidi, you are in a drug ring.
I wish I knew what these things were.
They've got such a strange shape.
And smell.
And taste.
But like I said, you can't have everything.
Look at that!
I'll be spin -balling by the weekend.
But you don't play cricket.
Well, a few more of those little green pills and I'll be playing strip poker.
I feel ever so frisky.
They're painkillers, not pet pills.
How would you know?
Hey, everybody, it's Mr Big.
This way, please.
See, I'm not too late.
Just see, I'm not too late.
What for?
She gave you the wrong pills, Ida.
Oh, what have I been saying?
Mrs. Cross, have you any idea of the risk you've been running? I'll never do
again, Doctor. Never. Just say she hasn't taken any. But I have. I've taken
three. Oh, Mrs. Willis, I don't know what to say.
Oh, stick your fingers down your throat, love. Quickly.
Somebody fetch a basin. Yeah, but it was three hours ago, and I cured my
headache.
These? No, no, no. These.
Oh. Oh, Mrs. Willis, what a mercy. For one awful minute, I thought you'd taken
the green one.
That's great.
Just a minute, Wilfred. This is important. Now, look, Mrs Cross.
How could I be so careless?
Now, you mustn't blame yourself too much.
I mean, you're very worried about your Brenda.
How is your Brenda?
Still no news.
Oh, it looks like being castor oil and a bumpy bus ride.
Excuse me.
Oh, what is it, Wilfred? You've forgotten, haven't you? Forgotten what?
taken four of those pills.
Oh, my God, he has. He has? He has. What are they, Mrs Cross?
Well...
Can I whisper?
Oh, no.
Oh, poor Wilfred.
What are they, Ida? That's what I'd like to know.
I'd better whisper.
It's true.
I still don't believe it. Will it do permanent damage, Doctor?
What's going to happen to me, Shane?
Well, Wilfred, I don't want to dash any hopes. What?
But you won't be having a litter next spring.
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