Original subtitles

That's my boy, that's my boy

That's

my boy, that's my boy

Angie, I've been trying to think. What did Shane give you for your birthday

year?

Dangly earring.

Oh, yes.

I wonder what he'll give you for your birthday next year.

Next year?

Well, they do come round, you know. That's the thing about birthdays. They

come round.

Well, I expect he'll give me either.

Your birthday wouldn't be coming round by any chance.

Oh, I don't know, love. You know me and birthdays.

It's the 14th, isn't it?

16th.

But that... A week on Saturday.

I'm awfully glad you reminded me. I didn't remind you.

It just cropped up in conversation quite by chance.

I have to start saving up, won't I? You will do no such thing. I don't want you

spending your money on me.

Oh, don't be mean. I love buying presents. You do, don't you?

I'd forgotten about.

And I don't want to get the wrong thing, do I?

No, I suppose you don't. So if you can think of anything you want... There's

list.

I might have known.

Oh.

Why, oh, there's nothing very expensive.

Well, that's the trouble. It's so boring.

Hankies, talc, bubble bath.

Well, they're all things I need.

And I can't put down what I really want, can I?

Of course you can. Come on. I'll put it down for you.

Well, come on.

What do you want most in all the world?

A big, strong man to carry me away.

A big, strong man.

Hmm. Don't we all?

You've got yours.

Now, don't you bother about me. I'll be perfectly happy with hankies.

Sorry, Miss Puppet. What day was that again?

The 16th, Doctor. It's a Saturday.

Oh, yes.

Oh, well, we've got nothing down. Yes. We'll be glad to go. Oh, the vicar will

be pleased.

I did say all proceeds to the church room.

Yes, you did. How much for the ticket?

Three pounds a head, I'm afraid, but that does include the hot pot supper.

And the Joe Loss band?

The Harry Hillman and the Eight Hayseeds, actually.

It's only a village hop, Doctor. You mustn't expect too much.

I'll expect to dance with you, Miss Parfitt. How's your quick, Deb?

Well, my waltz is better.

Then a waltz it shall be.

Good night, Miss Parfitt. See you in the morning.

Nighty -night, Doctor.

I'll wear my pink.

I don't care what Mother says.

Well, I can tuck a hanky down.

I'll tell you another big, strong man.

Joel McRae.

Joel McRae?

Who's Joel McRae?

If you'd asked that when you were my age, you'd have got lynched in the one

nine.

Was he lovely?

Ooh, he was mouth -watering. Blue eyes, white teeth and shoulders.

Ooh, you've never seen shoulders like them.

Talking about me?

No such luck.

Where do you want these?

Oh, to be honest, nowhere. I thought we'd finished.

Oh, you have finished, Ida. Sit down. Robert will dry those, won't you? OK,

where's the cloth?

Oh, Anne, before I forget, are we doing anything on the 16th?

Well, haven't we better talk about that when... When I'm out of the room?

Well, I wasn't going to tell a dirty joke. I don't know.

I think it's the 16th. It is.

Ah, yes, it is. Oh, Anne, just look after those, will you? What are they?

Two tickets for the village hop.

Robert? I couldn't say no. Miss Parfitt's on the committee.

I'll tell you what. We'll go late and leave early.

But, Robert, what about Ida?

Ida won't mind if we go out, will you, Ida? Well, of course not. Don't be

Ange. There'll be less to share me cake with.

What cake?

Her birthday cake.

On the 16th?

Oh, Ange, what shall I do?

What you always do.

Come in.

I thought you might like a cup of tea.

Thank you very much. Just put it down there.

Look, we don't have to go to that dance, you know.

But haven't you said you'll go?

Well, yes. Well, then you've got to go.

Oh, don't mind about me.

Oh, we do, Ida.

And we don't want you to be on your own on your birthday.

Well, I don't need to be on my own, do I? I can ask somebody in.

Like who?

Hmm.

Miss Parfitt. She's always threatening to teach me how to knit woolly rabbits.

Now's her chance.

Ah.

Ah what?

Miss Parfitt's going to the dance as well.

Oh, so?

It's not just for young people, this dance. Anybody can go. Who's asked?

Ida. What?

You should have thought of this before, shouldn't I? Yes, you should.

Thought of what?

Would you like to come with us?

Me? Oh, you don't want me.

You've got a pretty young wife to dance with. What do you want with old me?

The first dance.

And the last.

It is my birthday.

I'll wear this.

Where am I going to find another band at this... Notice.

But, Vicar, it took... Oh, very well, Vicar. I'll do my best.

Only.

Good morning.

Is it? Oh, sorry, I spoke.

Shall I go out and come in again?

Forgive me, Mrs Willis. I'm at the end of my tether. I am right at the end of

tether. Five past nine in the morning.

Whatever's happened?

It's the hayseeds.

But if you want my opinion... Oh, I do.

They... They've double booked.

Oh, aren't people rotten?

Who else?

Harry Hillman and the Eight Seats.

Oh, fine done. This is going to be... Well, I hope so, cos I'm here to buy me

tickets. Oh, are you? Oh, this is the first nice thing that's happened this

morning. Now, where did I put them? Oh, let me think. Oh, here they are.

Be careful, you'll mark the desk.

There, that'll be six pounds, please. Six pounds? Three?

That's what my son said, three.

Oh, that's per ticket.

Yeah, well, that's what I want, per ticket, per three pounds.

I see you've no one to go with.

No one to go with?

You're going to sit with the rest of us girls.

Two tickets, please.

I'd like to get her something really unusual.

All right, how about half a dozen hang gliding lessons?

Oh, Robert, I think she'd need at least a dozen.

Ange, I was only... Doesn't matter.

Is that the lift?

Oh, God, it's all a bit maiden art, isn't it? Apart from the big, strong

Oh, yes.

Can somebody open the door for me, please?

We'll talk about it later. OK.

Oh, I'll take those.

Oh, thanks, love.

What on earth have you got in these?

Tonight's supper, tomorrow's breakfast and two tickets for the dams. Two?

What's one two for, Ida? Well, what do you think? One for me and one for me

gentleman friend.

Ida, have you got a gentleman friend?

No, but I will have by next Saturday.

own to dance backwards with Miss Parfait.

So, who do we know who's eligible?

Oh, let's think.

We're a bit low on men in Little Birch March.

Oh, I'll not set my sights too high.

There's old Mr Macintosh.

I'll not scrape the barrel, I.

He's only got one leg.

Well, it's only a hop.

Yes, it's your turn. OK.

How far is it to that RAF camp?

I'm not recruiting, either.

Nor enlisting.

I don't know what you're worried about, either. There'll be plenty of other

wallflowers.

Flowers. I'd rather not go at all.

Sitting by the bank stamp, smiling bravely, pretending I've sprained me

Hey, that's an idea. I could wear a crate bandage.

Nothing else.

You'd be danced off your feet.

Vulgar as well as thick.

Oh, I'll get that. No, you won't. I'll go.

Might be a man.

Hello. Little Birch March, 368.

Oh, how lovely to hear you. How are you, love?

Who is it?

Well, it's not my other mother, that's for sure.

When are we going to see you again? It's been far too long.

Well, what's wrong with next weekend?

I hope this is someone we like.

Lovely. Do you want a word with Shane? It's time to talk to you.

Who is it?

Well, who do you think? Your Uncle Wilfred.

Shane, just casually mention that it's me birthday.

Ida wants me to tell you it's her birthday.

out is our Wilfred. Ooh, how this takes me back.

Where to?

Pentonville, Brixton, Wormwoods Cross.

And always first thing in the morning and always raining.

Ooh, it used to be hot in there.

I pull me collar up and me hat down.

There he is.

Where? Over there, look.

Saving the money for his pair.

Help yourself.

I wonder if I should.

Well, don't if you don't want to. Oh, well, I will, rather than cause offence.

Oh, and while I've got my hand in the basket... What

on earth is that?

Well, it's a hat track for the dance tomorrow night.

You know, it's all part of the tactics.

The tactics?

The tactics, yes.

The dance all manoeuvre.

But you've thrust out the talent.

Right. Then you move in.

May I?

It's all over my jealousy.

Do you think it's hot in here? Shall we go outside?

And then...

You think it's cold out here?

Shall we go back in?

No.

You're a bit thick, you.

No, it's... Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Would you like a little drop of this, my little pigeon?

And then when you've got the top off... Got the top off? The top off the flat.

Oh.

OK, what when you've got the top off?

Well, you know what they say about a bird in the bushes.

Your ladders are tight.

I'll take that.

If it gets cold in the night, I'll... It won't. I've put your electric blanket

on. Oh, Shane.

What? I've had a telephone call from that Mrs Crompton.

Oh, no.

Oh, now, you're not to be cross with me.

But you told her I'd go round there. Well, just a little visit, just to calm

down. Look, Ida, it's time she got over this. It's two years since her husband

died. Well, Miss Parfitt says she's a lot better than she used to be.

It's only at night that she gets a little... Lonely. Excuse me?

No, Wilfred.

I know what she's going through.

I know what I went through when I lost my elder.

Well, you mean lost her. You kicked her out.

Well, of course I did. I caught her in fragrant calypso.

Fragrant calypso?

In bed with a window cleaner.

Anyway, you... You weren't much better with that lady from the Laundroma.

She was my shoulder to cry on, Miss Lavinia.

She was your what to cry on?

Just like that. I could be to that poor Mrs. Compton. How old is Mrs. Compton?

Ninety -three.

Good night, Wilfred. Good night, Ida. Good night, love.

I never thought I'd see this again.

Anyway, you won't be needing this tomorrow.

Don't be defeatist. Why not?

Well, you're not going to be taking me into the bushes, are you? No, I won't.

Can we have that again, please, without the look of disgust?

You won't be the only pebble on the beach, are I, Ida?

I'll be the only pebble that's paid for your ticket, though, won't I?

Ida, I said I'd take you, and I will, and I'll bring you home.

It's the bit in the middle I'm thinking about.

It's the bit in the middle you never stop thinking about.

front door go?

Oh, hello, love. Yes, it was Shane. He had to go out on a call.

Not Coralie Crompton again.

That's the third time this week she's called him out.

Well, I'm not waiting up for him.

Quite right. After all, tomorrow is another day.

And a very special one.

Is he?

Birthday girl?

Oh, I'd forgotten all about that.

She'd be spitting tacks if you thought we had.

And have you?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Did you leave the wrapping paper on my bed? Oh, and the scissors.

And the sellotape. Oh, thanks, Orange.

When's your birthday?

Last Tuesday.

Good night.

Oh, get that... Oh,

I oughtn't to tease him, should I? Well, he has got a present for you.

He has, hasn't he?

Hasn't he?

No, Ida, my lips... Oh, well, whatever it is, I'm determined to love it.

I mean, he hasn't got much, has he? Well, that's why I sent him his train

Which he didn't use.

And he didn't give back.

Oh, Angie, he was £30.

What can he have got me?

Well, do you like them?

A French scent.

And them won.

Them won.

The fleecy lined.

Oh, Wilfred, all that in heaven too.

Happy to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Oh,

how did that get there?

They put them there.

Eat your cornflakes.

It's only small, Ida. Well, of course it is. What did I tell you about not...

and you didn't, did you?

They were on your list, Ida. Well, of course they were, and they're just what

wanted.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got an early hair appointment.

Oh, Wilfred, when you're doing the washing up, wear these.

Good morning, is it?

Oh, sorry, Miss.

Barfitt, I was miles away.

Happy birthday, Mrs Willis. Oh, thank you, Miss Barfitt. I've got good news.

I'm glad somebody else.

We have music.

Three of the hayseeds are back on their feet.

Mind you, the drummer's still streaming, poor boy. Send him to me. I'll lend him

a hanky.

Don't tell me you had lots of hankies for your birthday.

Well, just the three.

I was thrilled.

With tank.

Oh, Miss Parfait. Oh, you shouldn't have.

Oh, well. See you at the dance.

Oh, dear.

Oh, is that the lock, Miss Parfait? I should be blowing up balloons down at

village hall.

You're too public -spirited, you know.

Oh, not really. I'm just avoiding my mother.

Don't cry.

Mind you, he's in a bit of a mood.

I'm not surprised, wouldn't you be? Rubber gloves and a box of hankies.

And, thanks.

Really? Oh, that's great. Another rotten present.

That's just what we wanted.

It was rather a good talk.

With its own puff.

With its own... Oh, heavens, I didn't mean... Listen, can you keep a secret?

Try me.

You know, Mrs.

Crompton, that cold's going to be all round the village by Tuesday.

Oh, I hope not.

I'm a martyr to colds. They go straight to my chest.

They would.

I didn't mind when I had my William, but colds are no fun on your own.

Over this, Mrs.

Brompton, dear.

Two down, one to go.

You should be dancing.

Oh, yes, and a whip.

Never mind.

The hot pot supper will be in a minute. We shall go in early, shall we?

Would you two like to be introduced?

Wilfred Willis, charmed.

They told me you was 93.

I will be in 40 years' time.

Right, well, I'd like to go into supper now if it's all the same to you.

You do. Don't wait for me.

Tell me, Mrs. Crompton.

Call me Coralie.

I'm not hungry now.

Do you find it hot in here?

Let's go outside.

Oi, cut it over.

I am not going home from this dance on my own.

I don't think I am either.

Coming, Coralie.

Oh, Wilfred. Not now, lad. I'm on a promise.

Excuse me.

What?

Do you find it hot in here?

No, it is freezing.

I must have found me...

Not just yet. I've just got to, you know, say a few words. Why you? Why not

vicar? You'll find out in a minute, won't you?

Will I?

Don't go away.

What's going on, Angie?

Ladies and gentlemen, I think by now most of you know what's going to happen

next. Well, I don't. What is going to happen next? It's a surprise, Ida.

Oh, don't tell me. Thank you, vicar, for the use of the hall.

And here is a cheque for the church room.

What do you want your camera for?

You will see.

Only one candle on my cake.

The right amount would be the fire hazard.

Not yet, Lida, not just yet. We're not finished yet.

Why, what else is there?

What did you tell Angie you wanted most in all the world?

Most in all the... Oh, no!

That was a joke.

It was only a joke.

It was, just a joke.

Where is he?

Tarzan. Me, Ida. Hello, Ida.

I'm your birthday present.

Ooh, and aren't you beautifully wrapped.

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