All language subtitles for Thats My Boy s02e03 A Holiday Romance

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

You're not looking for cobwebs.

Hey, do you know what? I think that's a
settlement crack.

Oh, rather that than a cobweb.

How long have you had those?

I got them today.

Yes, and not for fourpence.

Have you got them to take on your
holidays with you?

That's right. They're for bird watching.

Oh, I believe you.

Your daddy managed with the naked eye.

I shall have to be starting thinking
about packing for you soon, won't I?

Oh, there's nothing to pack. We'll be on
the beach all day, so we won't need any

clothes.

Well, that won't take a lot of packing.

Well, what do you think?

What?

Well, that was a wasted 60 quid. You
were meant to take one look at me in

and go mad with lust.

How much?

Binoculars to you.

How much?

60 pounds.

Just a minute.

That's... Fifteen and fifteen.

You never paid thirty for just that
little bit.

But is it safe?

What do you mean, is it safe?

Well, what if you've come out of it?
There'll be a queue of young men itching

put her back in again.

They'd better not.

Jersey won't know what it is.

Oh, I almost wish I was coming with you
now. I don't know why you're not. It's

too better and flat.

There's plenty of room. We'd love to
have you, wouldn't we, Robert?

Love to.

Oh. But you can't change your plans now,
can you, Ida? I mean, you're going off

to... Where is it?

Ul.

That's right.

With your friend.

Etty.

We'll miss you, you know.

You won't. I will.

He won't. He will.

Won't you, Robert?

No. There you are.

Excuse me.

I don't know.

Ida, have we upset you?

Oh, bless your little hearts. Of course
you haven't upset me.

You've moved me.

Two young things like you wanting an old
thing like me to go on holiday with

them. What a pity you can't. Hey, watch
his face change.

I can't.

No, you can't. No, no, you said so.

You promised.

Ah, yes, but that was before you said
you'd love to have me.

We didn't say that, did we? Yeah.

Oh, God.

But what about Hull? What about Hetty?
What about them? Hetty won't know

I'm there or not. Won't know and won't
care.

Well, I'm sure that's not true.

It is.

I had a letter from her best friend.

She's doing something she shouldn't with
a man she met at bingo.

At her age, it's disgusting.

Do they make those in my size?

You wouldn't wear one of those.

Oh, you haven't seen me when I'm on
holiday. I go wild.

Oh, I'm ever so glad you taught me to go
in with you.

Oh, God.

Do you know, I'm looking forward to it
already.

I was dreading Hull.

Where do I go to book my seat on the
coach?

Coach? The coach to the boat.

Boat? Well, even I know that Jersey is
across the water.

We're going by plane.

You'll book a ticket, won't you, Robert?
If I must. I mean, if I can.

What's the matter?

You've changed your mind?

No, no, it's just... I've never been up
in an aeroplane before.

Never? Never.

Oh, well, this could make a big
difference, you know. How could it? Oh,

have to think about this. I mean, if
she's going to be frightened... Just a

minute.

Did I say anything about being
frightened?

Did anybody in this room hear me say
anything about being frightened?

I'll just go and rinse these and make
some fresh.

What are you looking for?

Well, I'm sure I won't need it, but I'd
just like to know where it is.

Where what is?

My parachute.

Robert, she wants to know where her
parachute is. Bloody hell.

They're in a big box at the back, Ida.
Oh, well, just as long as I know.

Will it be all right if I leave my
handbag there?

Well, you'll have to move it if anyone
wants to sit there.

What, sit there?

By me?

Well, it's not a private jet, Ida.

Oh, pity.

Because I'll tell you now, I don't want
anybody chatting at me. I'm not in the

mood.

I just want to shut my eyes and get to
where I'm going.

Don't feel well.

Don't feel well? What do I do? Swallow
it down with a glass of water?

No, it's for, you know, if you want
to... Now you've

made me want to. Put it away.

Try not to think about it.

Excuse me. What?

Oh.

Is anyone sitting there?

Only my handbag, and I'll soon move
that.

Thank you very much.

Sorry I disturbed you. Oh, that's quite
all right.

Lovely day, isn't it?

Beautiful.

Off on holiday, are you?

Just for the fortnight.

Very nice, too.

Don't mind me chatting, do you?

Mine.

You wouldn't rather shut your eyes?

Oh, I don't want to shut me eyes.

You chat all you want to.

Unless you'd like to shut your eyes.

I miss looking at you.

Gee, dear.

I hope you enjoyed your flight, sir.

No, I didn't. Robert!

It was very nice, thank you. Thank you.

What's the matter with you?

Well, you saw her, didn't you? Throwing
herself at that awful man.

She's never going to leave her knees,
has she? Robert!

Look, look!

She's doing it again.

Oh, you've been ever so kind.

Thank you very much.

Buying champagne.

I'm not worth it.

Oh, I'll be the judge of that.

We're over here, Ryder.

I know where you are.

Well, it's cheery -bye, then.

Cheery -bye.

And, uh, a bientot.

Oh, yes, indeed.

A bientot.

A bientot.

Angie, you speak Spanish.

Oh, this is a nice... Flat, isn't it?

I don't know what you're paying for it,
but it's worth every penny.

Are you saying I've got a double bed?

It's wasted on me, though, isn't it?

I wouldn't know.

Oh, and I've got a lovely view.

Not exactly the sea, but not exactly the
gasworks, either.

What do you mean you wouldn't know?

Where is he, then?

Where's who?

What's his name?

Loverboy. Oh, now we know, don't we?

So that's what's crawled up you and
died.

I was ashamed of you on that plane.

Oh, no, you were.

Oh, I couldn't feel your eyes on the
back of my neck.

Anyway, what was I doing that was so
terrible?

Flirting. I didn't go too far, did I?

Much too far.

Do you think I ought to have a pregnancy
test?

That is not funny.

I'm surprised you know the mood you're
in. All I did was talk.

I'm allowed to talk, aren't I?

Not to people like that, no.

People like what? What's wrong with him?
Well, for one thing, he's old.

How can he be?

He's my age.

Well, he's... Well, what school did he
go to?

Oh, you sound just like your other
mother sometimes.

What school did he go to?

I'll tell you one thing. Wherever he
went, he could buy and sell you and

you a few manners.

He's got three factories, you know.

All of them with his name on.

Ah, yes.

And what does he make?

Industrial rubber.

Which is not what you think it is.

I feel better for that bath.

What time is it? Oh, bitch, damn, I was
thinking about supper.

Oh, Ida, if you want to go and meet your
friend, I'll make something. I don't

want to go and meet my friend, and he's
not my friend.

He's just a nice man that I met on an
aeroplane. I've never seen him before,

I'll never see him again. He doesn't
even know where I'm staying.

Well, don't look at me, buster.

I'm on holiday.

Want me to go?

What's the matter with the boy?

You know what I think?

Well, tell me. I think he's suffering
from an Oedipus complex.

Oh, no.

Why do these things always strike when
you're abroad?

No idea. An Oedipus complex is an
unconscious urge to sleep with your own

mother.

But that's me.

And I went out of my way to tell him
I've got a double bed.

Angie, you can't be right.

These are for you.

You are right.

Oh, Shane. Oh, you must learn to let me
go.

Eh? Cut the cord.

Oh, Shane, this is an unhealthy love,
love.

What's the matter with her?

Oh, you've got a dear little wife.

Now, what do you want?

Oh, these flowers aren't from you.

No, they're not. Who are they from?

Him. Who?

Him.

The man she's never going to see again.
The man who doesn't even know where

she's staying.

He must have read me luggage label.

This would never have happened in whole.

There's no sign of them.

Perhaps they're meeting somewhere else
this morning.

No, they're meeting here.

How do you know?

I heard them fix it up. They were in the
hall and I was... Go on?

Where?

In that cupboard by the door.

I thought those beer cans were doing
that.

It was hot in that cupboard.

Oh, dear.

I've never known a holiday like it. You
spent the whole fortnight following your

mother around the island like some
sleazy private eye.

Tom. That's what you are.

A peeping Tom.

No, none of it.

Ah, there they are.

Got them.

You haven't caught the son, have you?

Oh,

go on with what you were saying.

You're a lovely woman, Ida. Oh, that's
not what you were saying.

That's what I was thinking.

You were saying, why don't we hire a
little boat and go...

Is it really what you were thinking?

You've made this holiday for me.

Oh, it has gone quickly, though, hasn't
it?

Quickly? Oh, it's flashed. That's what
it has, flashed.

I can't believe this is our last
evening.

It needn't be.

It need, you know. We've got to be out
of the flat at 12 o 'clock and leave it

scrubbed by guess who?

No, no, I didn't mean that. I meant
you're doing it again.

What? Rubbing the back of your neck.

What's that?

I wasn't aware.

I'll put some cream on.

Oh.

Hi there.

Good time, huh?

What? I did better than getting married.

Oh, do.

Well, me.

Oh. Oh, wait a minute. Look, you have
some of this. I can't bear to waste it.

Now, will it end well?

Well, will you?

Will I what?

Oh, oh, what a mess I'm in. See?

I say, oh, marry you.

Oh, but we haven't known each other five
minutes.

We've known each other a fortnight.

Which you said yourself at last.

How long had you known your first
husband?

My first husband?

Young Shane's dad.

Oh, Amy, what... Not one. Not one at
all.

Well, there you are.

You've had one marriage.

Try another.

You're not offering me a plate of
sandwiches, you know.

You're not going to turn me down.

Oh, I don't.

Why do I keep getting this feeling that
I'm being watched?

Because I am being watched.

Cyril? Yes?

What I am about to do now means nothing.

What time can we go for lunch?

Oh, you can go when you like.

I'm not hungry.

All she did was kiss him.

It wasn't just a peck on the cheek, you
know. It was a great big full

-blooded... Show me.

Well, it was a bit like... I'm not in
the mood.

Are they still there?

I don't know, and I don't care.

I washed my hands of the whole thing.
She's made her bed, and she can damn

well... Oh, no, she can't.

No, she's not still there.

Why didn't I keep my eye on them?

Which way do you suppose they went?

Upwards.

It's a wonder to me you haven't got
white marks round your eyes.

He told me he was going to do some bird
watching here. I never thought I'd be

the bird.

What's there, Elida?

Have lunch somewhere.

Oh, what a nice idea.

But it's too late. Love, I've sent him
home.

Had a row?

No, we have not. So wipe that grin off
your face before I knock it off.

I sent him home so that I could have a
quiet think.

What about?

Well, the thing is, is pot the question?

What question?

Do I take sugar in me tea? What question
do you think?

He's asked you to marry him.

He's begged me to marry him.

I hope you said no.

I haven't said anything yet, but it's
nice to know you're open -minded.

When have you got to tell him?

Tonight, at supper.

What are you going to say?

Oh, I don't know, Angie.

I just don't know.

It's a big decision.

Now, which is it to be, Ida? Yes or no?

Yes. I thought you'd never say.

I bet you thought so, too.

Brandy for the lady.

Brandy for the lady. Oh, I shouldn't
really, you know. Oh, don't go back on

yourself again, girl. You'll give the
garçon a breakdown.

Merci, monsieur.

Now then, getting out of brass tacks,
have you made any other decisions today?

Oh, aren't these pretty glasses?

Yes, yes, they're very pretty.

So you put me out of my misery.

Are you going to wed me?

Well, I've given it a lot of thought.

And what have you come up with?

Well, I don't want to say no.

Good. On the other hand, I don't feel
that I can say yes.

Not so good. So what I was thinking was,
could we split the difference?

How? Well, could we settle for a long
engagement?

Oh, not too long. I'm 67, you know.

Oh, Cyril, don't look at me like that.
My knees will go all wobbly.

Well, just say yes, then. Please say
yes. I'll make you very happy.

They have gone all wobbly. I knew they
would.

All right, then, yes.

But why not?

You're one for nothing.

Fitted carpet, fitted kitchen, fitted...
You said yes!

I know I did, and already... No, don't
take it back. No, stick by your guns.

Think of yourself as Mrs Ida Openshaw.

Mrs Ida... You should have stopped at
the fitted kitchen.

Un brandi for the lady?

No, that, no, no.

No brandy for the lady. No, bring us a
bottle of champagne.

No, bring us two.

Here, we can take one home with us.

We can take them back to your Shane and
little Angie.

They can drink a toast to the happy
couple.

They'll like that, won't they?

Well, she will.

He won't.

No, I don't suppose he will at that.

What's he got against me?

Oh, I don't know, Cyril.

Angie says she thinks he's suffering
from...

Jealousy? We're in a public place.

But I was going to be suffering from
sexual... Well, what do you say?

He doesn't fancy me, does he?

Mind you, he has given me some funny
looks.

He doesn't fancy you.

That'd be abnormal.

He fancies me.

And that's not abnormal.

Well, you fancy me.

Well, you're not my mother.

I don't know.

Not if you're really 67.

Can I say something about your Shane?

Cyril, we're engaged to be married. If
you can't speak freely to me, who can

speak freely to?

He's odd.

He's what?

He doesn't treat you like a mother, he
treats you like a slave.

Well, perhaps I like being treated like
a slave.

I remember that.

By him.

Not you.

Well, he's my son.

He has the right.

I'll be your husband. I'll have the
right.

Look, how did rights get into this? A
minute ago, you swore I'd be fully

And you will.

Yes, with a ball and chain.

This always happens when we talk of him.

The sooner we're married, the better.

Why? Go on, why?

Because we'll be shot of him, that's
why.

Shot of Shane?

Aye.

Your champagne, madame.

That's huge.

Will the lady be coming back, monsieur?

Your guess is as good as mine, garçon.

What time is it?

You're the one with the watch.

It's half -past eleven.

I think I'd better go now to the police.

And say what? Your mother's laid back
from a date.

Sit on this, will you?

You know, we don't know a thing about
him.

Oh, not again.

We know a surprising amount about him.

I tell you this, I went to bed with you
knowing nothing about you at all.

You're not suggesting... You don't think
they've been to bed, do you?

I hope so.

I mean, I wanted to have really enjoyed
her holiday.

There's more to life than bed, Angie.

Ah, I remember you said that.

I suppose I'll go off and live in
Bradford.

Well, that's where his house is.

We'll never see them again, then, will
we?

Of course we will.

They'll come to us at Christmas. We'll
go to them at Easter.

I can't wait.

Come in, lad, and have a slice of self
-made cake.

Oh, I've just had an idea.

She's got to give me a month's notice.

Your own mother? My own housekeeper.

You wouldn't hold her to it? I would,
you know. It'll give her a month to

her mind.

How about you changing your mind? Never.

What have you got against him?

He's not good enough for her.

You mind about Ida, don't you?

Yes, I do. But don't you ever tell her.

I won't. I'm home!

Oh, bloody hell. She's found happy.

Well, that means she's probably said
yes. Now, listen, Robert, don't you

it for her, right?

I've got a bottle of champagne and I've
got an announcement.

Robert?

Congratulations. I hope you'll be very
happy.

Oh, I...

Just don't ask me to give you away, I
thought.

Give me a... No, I won't, because I'm
not getting married.

It's not that I don't want you to be
happy, it's just that... Do you mean to

tell me that he didn't propose to you
after all? I'll kill him. Sure.

Leading you on like that, bribing you
with all that talk of industrial rubber.

He did propose.

I told you he would, and he did.

But you said you weren't getting
married. I'm not.

Do you mean... Well, you said no.

opinion, I do know the word.

Go and open this before I lose me coal.

You paid for this? A sailor I met on the
way home.

Did he really propose to you? Oh, get a
Bible and I'll swear me off.

I thought you were fond of him. Well, I
was.

Only love can die, Angie.

And love did.

Somewhere between the coffee and the
cognac.

What killed it? He did.

How? Well, for one thing, he said my
shame was odd.

Well, he is a bit. Oh, well, I know
that, and you know that. But I'm not

any jumped -up Charlie, Tato.

He can stick his industrial rubber up
his fitted kitchen.

I hope you're not hiding a broken heart.

Oh, there's only one man walking can
break my heart.

But don't you ever tell him. I won't.
See you don't.

Here we are.

What's all this then?

Champagne. I'd never have guessed.

In a chipped mug with a broken handle?

Oh, what do we see in him?