All language subtitles for Thats My Boy s01e06 Think Thin

That's my boy. That's my boy.

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

If they could see me now, that little
gang... I don't. Eating fancy food and

drinking.

You are?

I'm trying to read.

So you are. I've told you before about
reading at the table.

What is it, anyway?

Whatever is it?

It's a roast liver.

Well, I know you can fry them.

And some people braise them, but I've
never heard of anybody so roasting them.

Don't look very appetising.

How's your kidneys?

What?

Oh, you've given me rather a lot.

Well, so I should hope. What did your
other mummy give you for breakfast?

Two sliced frosties?

Half a grapefruit, wholemeal toast and
black coffee.

And you went to work on that?

Oh, I did a terrible thing when I gave
you to that woman.

If you hadn't given me to that woman,
I'd be 20 stone by now.

All the more to cuddle. Oh, get off.

I'll have half a piece.

He gets too close to his work.

Oh, never mind, love. You had your towel
on.

Or did you not have your towel on?

Well, don't you stand there. Call
yourself a man. Go out and knock him off

ladder.

Do you want me to?

What? Knock him off his ladder. Who?

The window cleaner.

What window cleaner?

It wasn't the window cleaner.

Just like you to jump to conclusions.

But it must have been somebody.

painting our outsides, are they?

Nine pounds.

Oh, that can't include the price of the
paint.

In a month.

Well, you're the doctor.

What's she talking about?

If you'll shut up for a minute, I'll try
and find out. Oh, that's me in me place

again. Oh, come along, love.

Try and tell us what's the matter.

It might be better if you left the room.

It might be better if you left the
country.

at the very least.

I wouldn't have minded that.

She's hysterical. I hope.

Well, she doesn't look it. Of course I
don't look it. All I look is fat.

Robert, take your clothes off. What?

And get on those scales.

Why? Never mind why.

Humour. Get your hands off.

What do you want me on the scales for?
Oh, cheer me up. I'll feel better if

you're fat too.

I'll get on the scales, but there isn't
an ounce of fat on me.

I get the blame for everything.

What have I done now?

You've been giving me food.

Oh, silly me.

What, should I give me a blotting paper?

I don't know how many calories there are
in blotting paper.

Oh!

Well, if that's the window cleaner, he's
changed his inclination.

Oh, not another.

You look like the best old kids.

I'm enormous.

Oh. His daddy wasn't small.

any trouble with me figure.

I eat what I like, when I like.

And look at you. I'm on me feet all day,
you see. I burn it off as soon as you

want.

If we've put on weight, what have you
put on?

Clean drawers this morning.

I'll roll up you in a minute.

I'm doing a commercial on Tuesday,
losing weight the easy way. I'll have to

the before instead of the after.

How much do you weigh, Ida?

I'd rather tell you me age.

Fine. That's relevant to your weight.
How old are you? I'd rather die.

Good. Because that's exactly what you
will do.

Did you hear the sorrow in his voice?

Shall I say goodbye now?

Oh, and when you're looking for me will,
and it goes to you, not him, it's on me

bedside table under a box of chocolates.

Aha! All this for your nine pounds.

Well, you are overweight, Ida. I love
you, but you are overweight.

So I've been told.

Now, listen to me, both of you. I can
get into clothes that I've had for ten

fifteen years.

Well, I've had this skirt for ten, and
look at it. It fits me just as well as

the day I bought it.

Well, that zip's never been right. I've
half a mind to tip it back.

Oh, that'll be the milkman. I want some
cream for your porridge.

Ida? Yes, love? No sugar, right?

And Ida? Yes? No cream either, and no
porridge.

But what am I going to tell the milkman?

Tell him it's nothing personal.

If I can't have porridge, what can I
have?

Well, what did we used to have in the
mornings before Ida came?

Oh, yes.

I hope that's not fattening.

I'm talking about half a grapefruit.

Oh, I can't go to work on half a
grapefruit.

Now, look, do you want to lose this nine
pounds, Angie, or do you want porridge

and make it up to ten?

Are you going on a diet too?

We all are. Even Ida?

Especially Ida.

You should have seen that milkman's
face. He nearly dropped his gold top.

What do you want in your sandwiches,
love?

Oh, um... No bread.

None? Well, what is she going to have?
She's a working girl.

Oh, she can have a raw carrot.

Oh, lovely. I said a working girl, not a
working rabbit.

Look how long is this nonsense going on?

Um, until we reach our target weight.

Target weight? Ooh, I'll give you
target.

That was a shock, you know.

Where's me gin?

Confiscated.

Does that mean stolen?

That was my personal bottle. I'd only
got down to the G in gin.

Do you know how many calories there are
in a single gin? I know how much comfort

there is.

Fifty -five.

So, Robert made up a chart. It shows us
exactly how many calories we're allowed.

And you're allowed a thousand.

of them now. Where's my gin?

Go on, Angie. Give it to her.

I want a gin, not the crown jewels.

Don't think that's going to stop me. All
I need is a hairpin.

Well, I want a tonic, won't I?

Can't you?

Oh, please, Mr. Bondle.

I don't mind. It's your body.

And that's another 32, which makes...

87. How many, um, what are they?

Calories. How many are there in a packet
of peanut?

Large or small?

Oh, about that size.

A packet, Ida. Large or small? Oh, a
couple of ounces.

Peanut.

442. Mark me down.

I sinned on the double -decker bus.

Right, that's 87 plus 442 equals... Oh,

Save your batteries.

529. I'm good at hard sums.

Do you realise you're over halfway?

To what?

Your 1 ,000 calories.

Watch his face change colour.

I had a chock ice in the high school.

Angie, chock ice? Oh, yes, please.

You know what I mean.

Hmm.

130.

Sorry, Ida. You've got 340 calories
left.

That's all right, then. Until tomorrow
morning.

But I haven't had my supper yet.

Neither have you. I'll go and switch the
stove. Stay where you are.

I've done the supper.

You have?

I hope I haven't run out of my cup.

Do you want it or not?

I do. I've only had a stick of celery
all day.

Well, go on. Go and get it before she
wastes away.

Right.

Oh, he's so trusting.

Well, I don't care.

Got another bottle in me room.

You haven't. You haven't got that box of
chocolates either.

What? He's very determined. We're all
going on a diet.

Till when?

Till we're thin.

That's a week for you.

It's the rest of me life. Who laid this
table?

Robert did. He's much more capable than
you think.

Is he?

Nice to be waited on for a change.

Oh, I ate paper now, kid.

Here we are.

And very nice it looks.

I don't know why women make all that
fuss about cooking.

Cooking? Cooking?

Well, I suppose you did boil the egg.

No, I did not.

You must both be exhausted.

Now then.

Just a minute.

Oh, is there a slug on me lesson?

One gin and tonic, one choc ice, and a
packet of peanuts.

Oh, let's let it all hang out.

The lady in the fish shop gave me a
licorice also.

That's all right.

But I didn't eat it. I gave it to a
little boy.

Fair enough.

I wish there had been a slug on me
lettuce.

I need the nourishment.

Can't you have a bit of my cheese?

No. We've got to be cruel to be kind.

As the hangman said to Crippen, there's
grated carrots for after. Oh, I think

I'll be too full.

Good heavens!

Cod and chips twice.

And I got crisp bread once.

Well, are you still on that dieting,
Mark?

Well, doesn't it show?

No.

I'm worried since you've passed the age
where it comes off easy.

Well, aren't you going to ask me in?

With those in your hand, I've put on a
couple of ounces just sniffing at them.

Oh, please, Ida.

They don't let you eat them in the Duke
of Wellington. They say it lowers the

tone. If you lowered the tone of that
place, one inch you'd be drinking

underground.

Oh, come in then, but sit downwind of
me.

Do you want a plate?

What for?

You don't want a plate.

Come on, you can lower the tone of the
lounge.

It's a bit soggy.

a batter, though.

Do you want a taste?

Oh, does a dying man want water?

Don't tempt me.

Ida, you're dribbling.

Well, of course I'm dribbling.

I'm starving, aren't I?

Well, have one.

No.

Oh, Maureen won't let me die. She said
it makes me bad -tempered.

Well, I don't know why.

I mean, just because you're hungry, it
doesn't mean to say that you're...

of times, and if he's on this slimming
laugh... Oh, you needn't worry about

He's loving it. Proper little ray of
sunshine, I could eat him.

Oh, hello, Wilfred. How nice to see you.

See what I mean?

When has he ever smiled at you like
that?

When he was a little babby.

He used to pet his rust into me hand.

Hello, Shane.

He doesn't like to be called Shane.

Oh, I don't mind.

Have you offered Wilfred a drink?

No. Why not?

I haven't got the key to the cupboard.

Well, if that's all, let's stop in here.

What's that?

Credit card.

I don't know whose.

Lord somebody's.

There we are.

Piece of cake.

I'm shocked.

I'm not surprised, but I'm...

Yours is a gin and tonic, right,
Wilfred? Large.

And mine?

You can have an inch of tonic, Ida. Oh,
and I'm so grateful.

There you go, Wilfred. Oh, cheers all.

One appetite.

Oh, I've got a decision to make.

What? Shall I drink it or bathe me eyes?

I'll tell you what, Wilfred. You might
as well take the bottle home with you.

Well, I've got a big family.

Oh, you might as well take the scotch
home as well.

Oh, not very much.

It's beginning to feel like my birthday.

It's not beginning to feel like mine.

Now I can do something about that.

Can I have a slice of bread? Oh, thank
you.

It's better than bread.

It couldn't be a slice of cake, could
it?

You're dribbling again.

For me, it's not food.

Thank him anyway.

What about it?

Well, it's my birthday if you want to
write it down.

I haven't any idea what it... Yes, I
have.

It's new curtains for me bedroom and
it's day things I can play.

Pillar belt's red.

Do I pull them or post them?

Oh, well, it makes a change, I suppose.
I'll just try them up against the

window. Hey, how did you know the
measurement?

Oh. I've just got the biggest.

Oh, well, I can always take them up,
can't I?

Oh, you're a good boy to your mother.

Quick, Max is out of the room. Grab a
chip.

Oh, no, thanks. I've had an apple.

For your dinner?

That's all I need.

People eat far too much. Yeah.

I'm sure you're right.

You know, I should have got some mushy
peas with these.

But I'm having them tonight for me
supper.

Do all your meals come from the chip
shop? No.

I days and holidays we cook Chinese.

Doesn't Maureen ever cook?

No, she's intellectual.

Oh. When you say intellectual... Just
her own library ticket.

Wow.

I thought that'd shake you.

We're a very brainy family, you know.
You and me's not the only ones.

Do you know, you had an uncle who used
to play the tuba?

No.

I play the piano.

With both hands?

And both feet.

I use the pedals.

It's not a tuba.

No, I suppose not.

I hadn't thought of it like that.

I'm trying to think of his name.

Ida? What was my uncle's name that used
to...

Ask him.

So, you got the biggest, did you?

No, I don't. It was very expensive.

Then you've been robbed.

It's coming apart at the seams.

That's because you're... Too fat.

Oh, I am, am I? Right.

There, what do you think about that?

Hey, that's my dinner.

Well? That's all right. You can have
them all.

Eat them.

You can jog it all off in the morning. I
can, can't I?

I don't want it all off in the morning.

Jog. Jog?

Then I'll need to keep my strength up.

A rotten liar, but I love it.

Where are we jogging to?

Let's go round the park.

We could, but I think we ought to take
it easy the first morning.

When you say the first morning, how many
mornings are there going to be?

As many as it takes.

Now, listen, and this is very important.

The moment you feel any strain, I want
you to let yourself go, sit down on the

ground...

To think about lunch.

Crisp bread, cheese and celery.

Nothing to think about. You
misunderstand me, love. That's what I

I think about.

It isn't easy, is it? But it's worth it,
though.

I suppose so. You know, I'm beginning to
quite like crisp bread.

If only I could have something on it.

Like what?

Two pork chops, I suppose.

I'm on a diet.

Leave out the crisp bread.

Ida, we can't give in now. We promised
Robert.

Him. Ah, now, be fair.

It's just as hard for him, you know. I
think he's been very good about it. He

hasn't complained once.

Well, nor have I.

You've never stopped.

There's a difference between complaining
and airing your grievances.

And I'm airing me grievances while I
soak me feet.

I'll never walk again, you know.

Oh.

And I was going to take you out to a
pub.

Where have I put my shoes?

There's a lady over there eating
shepherd's pie.

With beans.

And chips.

Does she look as though she's going to
leave any?

Oh, they do as slim as lunch. They do.

They do? It's... Oh, no.

Crispbread, cheese and celery.

Crispbread, cheese and celery.

Show me.

£1 .20.

Atmosphere.

I'm Peg.

No, you're not. We'll take it out of the
housekeeping.

Gee.

Don't look now.

That man over there's making funny
noises.

Oh, that's his bleeper.

His what?

His bleeper in case he's wanted at the
hospital.

Is he a doctor?

They nearly all are. It's the hospital
pub.

No, you can't, love. That was my tummy
rumbling.

I'll go and get our lunches.

Right, who's next?

I am.

What do you want, love? It's not what I
want. It's what I've got to have.

Two slimmers' lunches.

Two slimmers' more?

Oh, coming up. And here's your special.
Right.

Now, where's he gone?

Oh.

Gentleman ordered this.

Oh, there he is. One special.

Won't be long with your slimmers, love.

I'm trying to... I was just looking.