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1
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,500
Shit. Pretend you haven't seen him.
2
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,940
Has that always been there, or was it a
general knowledge machine before?
3
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:14,200
No, I really can't remember.
4
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,000
Best of change for a worthy cause?
5
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,120
Piss off.
6
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,400
Oh.
7
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,500
Who's that?
8
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,140
You don't think that was maybe just a
tiny bit rude?
9
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:30,120
They come in here, spoiling our fun,
begging for cash.
10
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,360
What's it going to be used for?
11
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,580
Buying soup and blankets for the
homeless.
12
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,860
Buying tambourines and trombones for
themselves.
13
00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:40,590
So you can march up and down playing
stupid fucking hymns like God Save the
14
00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:42,370
Queen. You tape bastard.
15
00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:44,410
Too many people begging for a hand out.
16
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,150
So you'd never ask for help yourself,
even if you were in trouble?
17
00:00:47,390 --> 00:00:48,390
No. Bollocks.
18
00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:50,870
Who wants a drink, apart from you?
19
00:00:51,370 --> 00:00:52,390
You're not buying me a drink?
20
00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:55,870
Oh, if you can't give anything to anyone
else, why should I give you something?
21
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,190
Because it's your round.
22
00:00:57,450 --> 00:00:59,850
Anyway, what have you ever given to
other people?
23
00:01:01,370 --> 00:01:03,050
I did that first date call.
24
00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:04,450
So did I.
25
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,320
Well, how's that giving something?
26
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:11,100
We will be giving the gift of life to
anyone who collapses with a heart
27
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:18,720
Would you like me to show you my
Heimlich manoeuvre?
28
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:28,040
If you can't shake my brother, if you
can't shake my sister, if you can't
29
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,200
my brother, come and take away with me.
30
00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:39,800
And I'll be your tambourine man.
31
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:47,360
Ooh, shake me in the palm of your hand.
Yeah, shake me, your
32
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,240
tambourine man.
33
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:53,940
Shake me, shake me, baby, like no other
can.
34
00:01:54,820 --> 00:01:58,040
I need you, honey, almost all the time.
35
00:01:58,380 --> 00:01:59,820
But I feel blue.
36
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:26,840
If you can't take my sister, if you
can't take my brother, come and stay
37
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:27,840
me.
38
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:29,880
Look at me.
39
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,880
What? I'm not even sweating.
40
00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:34,920
Can't believe how fit I am.
41
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,160
I've only walked a couple of miles.
42
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:38,600
What are you driving? Come on.
43
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,340
I hope I can find a car.
44
00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:45,660
Maybe you should walk every day.
45
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,240
That's into shape.
46
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:48,700
I'm in better shape than you.
47
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:49,960
Come on, then.
48
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,150
I'll race you to the start.
49
00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:55,530
You all right?
50
00:03:00,610 --> 00:03:07,410
If he'd have rattled this thing near me,
I'd have told him to fuck off. Why?
51
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:09,270
Because I hate tin rattlers.
52
00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:10,570
You as well.
53
00:03:10,610 --> 00:03:12,110
You're quite similar, aren't you?
54
00:03:12,730 --> 00:03:13,730
Me and Kurt?
55
00:03:14,310 --> 00:03:15,310
Yeah.
56
00:03:15,650 --> 00:03:17,890
We're both very short. We both teach IT.
57
00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:19,330
And of course, we're both Asian.
58
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,530
I don't think they're at all similar.
59
00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:28,270
That's because you can't read people
like I can.
60
00:03:28,970 --> 00:03:30,250
What do you mean, read people?
61
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:34,870
I can look at someone and know just from
their face and their aura what kind of
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00:03:34,870 --> 00:03:35,870
person they really are.
63
00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:39,810
So when you look at me, can you tell I'm
the kind of person who would happily
64
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:40,950
pour this milk all over your head?
65
00:03:41,170 --> 00:03:44,770
I know that Matt and Kurt are both
incredibly selfish.
66
00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:47,350
If anything, Matt is worse than Kurt.
67
00:03:47,650 --> 00:03:48,650
Funny, isn't he?
68
00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:52,180
What? These papers always get your
horoscope wrong.
69
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:57,140
Don't be disappointed if your partner
forgets your birthday this week.
70
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,640
As if I've got a fucking partner.
71
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:05,820
And did she ever remember my birthday? I
don't think so, fucking bitch.
72
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,220
You do
73
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:18,380
realise I let you win.
74
00:04:21,090 --> 00:04:24,190
Can't fucking breathe.
75
00:04:26,070 --> 00:04:27,530
Right, recovery position.
76
00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:34,490
Good morning.
77
00:04:34,730 --> 00:04:35,910
Yes, thank you.
78
00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:39,570
May I remind everyone that sports day
approaches.
79
00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:43,530
Parents have been invited. The police
have been alerted.
80
00:04:44,490 --> 00:04:47,590
I hope those of you who fail to win the
staff race will not display the kind of
81
00:04:47,590 --> 00:04:50,170
disgraceful behaviour we witnessed last
year.
82
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,330
Yes, I'm talking about you, Mr Buchanan.
83
00:04:56,970 --> 00:05:02,070
How can you say that Matt is more
selfish than Kurt?
84
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:03,870
You say it because it's true.
85
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:05,470
You want me to prove I'm right?
86
00:05:05,990 --> 00:05:07,670
No, because I'm going to prove you're
wrong.
87
00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:14,030
Kurt, it's Bob's birthday. Do you want
to give him some money for a present?
88
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,240
No.
89
00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:17,740
No.
90
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,080
Come on.
91
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:22,220
Come on.
92
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,660
Quentin Penn.
93
00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:29,340
That's very generous of you.
94
00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:45,910
Who gives a fuck?
95
00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:47,130
It's going to be 55.
96
00:05:47,530 --> 00:05:54,330
So? So, that's divisible by five, and
five more than 50. I don't like
97
00:05:54,330 --> 00:05:57,830
Bob. I don't care how old he is, and I
certainly don't want to buy him a
98
00:05:57,830 --> 00:06:01,430
present. Just some reason I've missed is
why I should give you some money.
99
00:06:02,010 --> 00:06:03,150
How about if I kicked you?
100
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:04,430
I told you.
101
00:06:05,390 --> 00:06:09,090
30 pence would do it, and then it would
leave you alone. I really don't have
102
00:06:09,090 --> 00:06:11,570
time for this. As you can see, I'm
trying to teach my year 11.
103
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,540
I know what you're thinking.
104
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000
There's nobody here.
105
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,820
But Claire said we don't have a currency
problem anymore.
106
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,680
And who am I to hide?
107
00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:31,680
Do you want to say a word?
108
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,740
I would like a free fucking word.
109
00:06:55,590 --> 00:06:57,750
So, first birthday without my wife.
110
00:06:59,830 --> 00:07:01,730
Well, who needs that bitch when I've got
my friend?
111
00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:02,949
What, Kurt?
112
00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:04,250
Oh, yeah, yeah. What?
113
00:07:05,610 --> 00:07:07,010
Ryan took him to the hospital.
114
00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:08,590
Why? I can't.
115
00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:11,770
You haven't, you can't. He doesn't mean
that.
116
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:15,190
You do actually care about Kate, the
friend of yours.
117
00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:18,050
We smoke together, we drink together,
they can't be carried away.
118
00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:20,530
Do you care about Kurt?
119
00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:21,890
Yes.
120
00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:23,410
A bit.
121
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,040
You're still in the hospital?
122
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,280
Where are you now?
123
00:07:56,220 --> 00:07:57,220
What are you doing?
124
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:58,480
I need help.
125
00:07:58,660 --> 00:07:59,820
Getting up the stairs.
126
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,100
Is that a wheelchair?
127
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:05,520
Yes. I can't walk because of you.
128
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,120
Me? You and your fucking recovery
position.
129
00:08:09,460 --> 00:08:12,060
You crippled me. You twisted my spine.
130
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:14,700
Are you sure?
131
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,700
No. I'm just guessing.
132
00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:19,360
Of course I'm fucking sure.
133
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:23,820
The doctor who saw me after ten fucking
hours said it was your fault.
134
00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:27,320
Said you should have left me alone and
called an ambulance. Said you were a
135
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,320
quack.
136
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:30,220
I'm sorry.
137
00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:32,240
Sorry? Is that it?
138
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:36,820
It's one piggyback.
139
00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:43,740
Morning.
140
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,860
Fucking bastard. See what? In a fucking
wheelchair.
141
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,300
Breakfast? Do I look fucking hungry?
Breakfast toast.
142
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:52,640
Fuck.
143
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:54,820
And tea? Fuck.
144
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:56,140
Okay.
145
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:07,460
Give me a hand.
146
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:09,119
What with?
147
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,180
I need a piss.
148
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:13,500
Can't you do it by yourself?
149
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,420
No. They'll have to hold me up.
150
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,080
How about a bug?
151
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,740
Doesn't sound very dignified.
152
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:21,460
For you, I mean.
153
00:09:22,580 --> 00:09:23,580
I'll tell you what.
154
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:26,459
You do it.
155
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:27,460
Go.
156
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:53,940
Here we go.
157
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:55,120
Got your blanket.
158
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:58,100
Why the fuck do I want a blanket?
159
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,260
In the wheelchair.
160
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,140
But am I cold?
161
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:03,580
I don't think so.
162
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:05,180
You might get cold.
163
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:06,980
Can't run around.
164
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,000
Here.
165
00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:12,180
Let me chop you in now.
166
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,480
Someone say something.
167
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,120
Fuck.
168
00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:31,100
Anything they can do.
169
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,620
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
170
00:10:33,740 --> 00:10:37,620
But they said the trouble was spinal
damages. They can't take any risks.
171
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:41,320
I made you a nice cup of tea.
172
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:42,940
Why are you shouting? I'm not deaf.
173
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:45,180
Still not cold.
174
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:47,800
Have you drawn up the order of events
yet?
175
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:52,140
What? For sports day. You were going to
let me have a timetable this morning.
176
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,520
Yeah, well, I was going to do it last
night, but with Kurt going into
177
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,900
Thanks to you. Is he really in a
wheelchair?
178
00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:01,660
Um, yeah.
179
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:03,140
Look.
180
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:05,660
Oh, yes.
181
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,120
Is anything working below the waist?
182
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:12,280
He's still got bladder control.
183
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,400
And he didn't shit himself last night.
184
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:19,080
I am actually here, in case you hadn't
noticed. Will you mind if everyone's
185
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,320
dead? Or should I tell the students what
happened?
186
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,880
Maybe don't tell them how it happened. I
don't know how it happened.
187
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:27,220
He fell over. Did I say I cared?
188
00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:37,780
What are
189
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:45,700
you
190
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:46,700
doing?
191
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,020
What does it look like?
192
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,640
It looks like you're a cripple.
193
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,200
I'm not a cripple.
194
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,170
Say... What's the difference?
195
00:11:53,510 --> 00:11:57,390
You're not supposed to say cripple. And
who's going to stop me? You? Yes. You're
196
00:11:57,390 --> 00:11:58,670
going to have to catch me first.
197
00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:00,909
It's all right.
198
00:12:00,910 --> 00:12:05,170
No. Can you push me to my classroom? I'm
not going that way. Well, thanks for
199
00:12:05,170 --> 00:12:06,170
your help.
200
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:08,890
Brian.
201
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:10,430
I'm stuck.
202
00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:11,710
Chair broke.
203
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:13,270
Hands have got blisters.
204
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,830
I'm not saying I'm sorry. What else can
I do? Take me to the toilet.
205
00:12:17,410 --> 00:12:19,190
I've got to sort these hurdles out for
sports day.
206
00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:20,430
I'm getting desperate.
207
00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:25,430
I'll fetch you a bottle.
208
00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:27,210
No.
209
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:30,550
I need a crap.
210
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:39,510
It's too wide.
211
00:12:39,970 --> 00:12:41,450
No, you can just get through.
212
00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:43,950
You'll have to lift me out.
213
00:12:45,290 --> 00:12:46,810
I'll get you right next to the bottle.
214
00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:49,830
Just lift me out.
215
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:52,430
How are you fixed on Thursday night?
216
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:56,640
What? I'm trying to sort my birthday
party out. Thursday's good for me.
217
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,960
Or Wednesday, of course, but not
Saturday.
218
00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:07,640
OK, well, Saturday's possible, if that's
the only night you can make. Can I ask
219
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:08,760
a stupid question?
220
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:10,720
You normally do.
221
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,400
Why not use the disabled toilet?
222
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,520
What disabled toilet?
223
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,880
This is what I call a fucking toilet.
224
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:30,780
You could fit six or seven people in
there.
225
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,240
You could eat your dinner on the floor.
226
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:33,980
Why would you want to?
227
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,180
Why would you want to fit six or seven
people?
228
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,760
I'm just saying you could.
229
00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:38,980
I'm not saying I'd want to.
230
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:47,360
Are you finished?
231
00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:50,440
What? In there. Have you done your
business?
232
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:52,720
I haven't even started.
233
00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:54,260
You'll have to wait.
234
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,400
Okay.
235
00:13:58,540 --> 00:13:59,660
I meant outside.
236
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:04,500
Who are you anyway?
237
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,780
Ralph Palmer. Are you new?
238
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:08,060
No.
239
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,520
Well, I haven't seen you before.
240
00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:12,880
I've seen you. And I've seen the
graffiti about you.
241
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:14,700
What graffiti?
242
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:16,800
I'll wait outside.
243
00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:18,860
What graffiti?
244
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:26,400
As if things weren't bad enough.
245
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,520
And they're writing stuff about me.
246
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:30,240
Somewhere.
247
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:32,820
I mean, what the fuck are they saying?
248
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:36,540
Don't know.
249
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:40,620
Right.
250
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:42,840
Let's get my trousers off.
251
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:46,120
Yeah, this tastes like shit.
252
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:47,880
Mine's okay.
253
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:50,000
How come I've got all the food,
literally?
254
00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:52,160
Want this crouton?
255
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,140
It might have been a long time ago.
256
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,540
I think the dinner lady who hates you
probably put them there.
257
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,000
The dinner lady who hates me?
258
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,219
Oh, yeah.
259
00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:03,220
Which one is it?
260
00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:05,540
That one.
261
00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:08,780
He hates you because you're a moody cow
who never once smiled or even said
262
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:10,780
hello. How do you know all this?
263
00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:12,020
Eileen told me.
264
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,100
Oh, what the fuck is that?
265
00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:18,580
He really doesn't like you.
266
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:22,100
Are you okay?
267
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,720
No, I'm not fucking okay. I'm trying to
get inside to have some lunch. There's a
268
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:26,539
fucking step.
269
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:28,940
I can't get over the step.
270
00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:33,040
My fucking hand hurts.
271
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:34,660
I'm so fucking hungry.
272
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,920
And I'm fucking totter, man.
273
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,460
What's he done now? He wouldn't push me
down a corridor.
274
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:42,940
Maybe he would have been fucking bad.
275
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,440
Or maybe he really is a bastard.
276
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:51,300
So, Thursday night, six o 'clock -ish,
I'll confirm the venue by close of play
277
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:52,540
tomorrow. Yeah, whatever.
278
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,420
Um, have I told you about my partner?
Huh?
279
00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:00,400
Do you know what people are saying about
you?
280
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,720
That I've got a nice arse? That you're a
bastard.
281
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,880
What people are they saying that?
282
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,400
Penny, I'm scared.
283
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,100
Oh. Oh, I was trying so hard to impress
them.
284
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:11,960
But what if your reputation spreads?
285
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,420
What if everyone starts saying you're a
bastard?
286
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:15,529
Wouldn't bother me.
287
00:16:15,530 --> 00:16:16,269
Yes, it would.
288
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:17,270
No, it really wouldn't.
289
00:16:17,690 --> 00:16:19,870
Don't you want to prove to people that
you're not a bastard?
290
00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:24,710
Why? Because then I can tell Penny she's
wrong. Which she is. And she'll stop
291
00:16:24,710 --> 00:16:28,150
smiling at me with that. I know more
about people than you do. It's not going
292
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:29,810
be... It'll make you want to kill me.
293
00:16:30,050 --> 00:16:32,610
You want me to pretend to be a nice
bloke to stop Penny annoying you?
294
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:33,970
Yeah.
295
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:36,610
Why not?
296
00:16:36,690 --> 00:16:37,770
Did I mention Thursday night?
297
00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:39,010
Fuck off.
298
00:16:42,170 --> 00:16:44,030
Ralph Palmer? Yeah, he's in my English
class.
299
00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:46,000
So how come we've never seen him before?
300
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,900
Maybe he doesn't play that much
football.
301
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,600
I'd teach that, Clark. I swear I've
never seen him before.
302
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,160
Miserable little fucker.
303
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,920
Are you allowed to call him that if he's
disabled?
304
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,980
I'd call him that if he wasn't disabled.
305
00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:57,540
Hiya. Don't go.
306
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,320
That's not funny.
307
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,060
Leave me alone.
308
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,700
Oh. I'm supposed to be covering one of
Mr Chang's lessons tomorrow.
309
00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:08,740
Could you do it instead? In return for
what?
310
00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:11,579
Nothing. I can't really see what's in it
for me.
311
00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:14,079
I'm trying to help you to prove your
critics wrong.
312
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,300
That's kind, but stupid.
313
00:17:15,579 --> 00:17:17,079
Is anyone going to give me a hand?
314
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,660
Come on, then.
315
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:21,760
She'd like a word.
316
00:17:23,579 --> 00:17:24,599
Claire. Who else?
317
00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:26,540
I didn't write that good thing about
Kurt.
318
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:28,260
She wants to talk about the staff race.
319
00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:30,900
Are you planning sack or egg and spoon?
320
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,140
Is that a problem? I really don't see
why I can't be a sack race.
321
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:47,020
It was a sack race last year when I
overtook Mr McKenna in the final ten
322
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:51,100
It's because we had a sack race last
year I thought we should have an egg and
323
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:51,859
spoon issue.
324
00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:52,860
That's ridiculous.
325
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,480
Is it? We need a sack race.
326
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,800
I've ordered the eggs. Cancel the order.
327
00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:00,040
Make sure everyone knows it's a sack
race, OK?
328
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:02,840
Thank you, Mr Brennan.
329
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,080
I could lay a sack across my lap like my
blanket.
330
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:23,480
You think anyone would have a problem
with that?
331
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,420
I think they'd call you a fucking chief.
332
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:28,440
Not me, obviously, but some of the
others might.
333
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,920
It's actually better if I organise it
myself and then there's no chance for a
334
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,160
stripper turning up.
335
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,000
What, you'd have been the stripper too?
336
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:41,780
No, I've always had an irrational fear
of a traffic warden suddenly peeling off
337
00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:44,280
her uniform and sitting on my lap.
338
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,920
All the baby oil and...
339
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:51,490
The rubbing and... It all get very
embarrassing.
340
00:18:57,510 --> 00:18:58,510
I'm ready for another.
341
00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:00,450
Do you really think you should?
342
00:19:00,730 --> 00:19:01,669
Well, why not?
343
00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:02,990
Just thinking about your bladder.
344
00:19:03,630 --> 00:19:06,570
When it's full, you'll need a piss. It's
going to be easy getting your chair
345
00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:07,570
into those ones.
346
00:19:07,990 --> 00:19:09,790
You could always carry me.
347
00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:12,470
To the toilet?
348
00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:14,750
What would people say?
349
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:18,040
Probably. There goes the bloke that
crippled his mate.
350
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,140
I'm glad he's feeling so guilty he's
helping a poor fucker take a piss.
351
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,080
I'm betting you're half.
352
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,400
Same again?
353
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:30,460
Why don't you give him a hand?
354
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:31,820
Because I can't be half.
355
00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:34,900
You could put me back where you found
me.
356
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,920
So how have you coped all day?
357
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,280
Must be weird sitting down all the time.
358
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,000
I never stood up that much before.
359
00:19:43,380 --> 00:19:44,500
What's the worst thing about it?
360
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:47,350
Hard to say.
361
00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:49,690
Being stared at.
362
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:51,050
Yeah.
363
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,650
Chewing gum stuck to my wheels.
364
00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:56,790
Fear of deep vein thrombosis. That's
enough now. But the very worst thing...
365
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:59,390
That wasn't it. I've got absolutely no
chance.
366
00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:02,750
Shaggy. So nothing's really changed
then? Fuck off.
367
00:20:03,090 --> 00:20:04,830
At least when I could walk I looked
normal.
368
00:20:05,310 --> 00:20:09,830
But now... Women are just going to see
my chair.
369
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:14,070
They're not going to see the man sitting
there. They're not going to see me. I
370
00:20:14,070 --> 00:20:15,070
think you'll be surprised.
371
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:17,150
Why what?
372
00:20:17,570 --> 00:20:19,850
By the number of women who'll want to go
to bed with you now.
373
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:21,350
And why would they want to do that?
374
00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:23,790
Because some women will be curious.
375
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:28,190
Some will feel sorry for you and some
will see you as a bit of a challenge.
376
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:31,310
You're not winding me up. If you don't
believe me, go and chat to those women
377
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:32,310
over there. Think what happened.
378
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:44,090
When does that come through?
379
00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:46,070
What are you...
380
00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:47,269
Celebrating. Sorry?
381
00:20:47,270 --> 00:20:48,270
Well, I was asking.
382
00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:51,190
I don't know what to do. I was asking.
383
00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:52,430
What happened to you then?
384
00:20:53,570 --> 00:20:55,570
Oh, it's a long story.
385
00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:59,590
Very long story.
386
00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:04,010
Would you like to hear it?
387
00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:10,010
It was fucking amazing.
388
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:13,290
They were all over me. One of them said
she was going to ring tonight and fix up
389
00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:15,030
a date. Was she taking the piss? No.
390
00:21:16,170 --> 00:21:18,110
You told them you were a fighter pilot?
Yes.
391
00:21:18,470 --> 00:21:19,470
And they believe me.
392
00:21:19,550 --> 00:21:21,570
Why don't they guess you were lying when
they see how small you are?
393
00:21:21,770 --> 00:21:24,110
They'll never see me standing up. That's
the beauty of it.
394
00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:33,610
I am going to have so much sex.
395
00:21:33,990 --> 00:21:35,410
And they'll all have to get on top of
me.
396
00:21:36,910 --> 00:21:38,250
What? At the same time?
397
00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:40,490
I hadn't thought about that.
398
00:21:52,460 --> 00:21:53,460
Get in the chair.
399
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,160
Oh, that's my phone.
400
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:01,900
It might be the girl from the pub.
401
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:07,060
Ryan? Can you get the fucking phone?
402
00:22:46,990 --> 00:22:47,990
wheel, fella.
403
00:22:48,770 --> 00:22:49,770
You can fix it.
404
00:22:51,270 --> 00:22:52,189
I'll have a go.
405
00:22:52,190 --> 00:22:56,510
But before you do that, can you go and
get me some chips?
406
00:22:58,070 --> 00:22:59,210
And a jumbo sausage.
407
00:23:00,490 --> 00:23:01,490
All right.
408
00:23:01,550 --> 00:23:02,550
I won't be a sack.
409
00:23:04,190 --> 00:23:05,190
That's okay.
410
00:23:05,890 --> 00:23:06,890
Take your time.
411
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:02,800
to push Kit round for a bit.
412
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,440
Why not you?
413
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,620
Because I'm not the one with the
attitude problem.
414
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:07,840
And I'm not the one who gives the shit.
415
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,080
It's fine.
416
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:10,100
Stop.
417
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,120
Ow. So, it's definitely sack.
418
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:21,080
What? The staff race. I've just put my
name down and suddenly got low in case
419
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,080
was egg and spoon.
420
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:26,980
No. Ah, good, cos I've got, you know,
hands a little shaky these days.
421
00:24:28,940 --> 00:24:29,940
Too much wanking.
422
00:24:30,769 --> 00:24:31,910
I do not.
423
00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:34,150
I hardly ever.
424
00:24:35,030 --> 00:24:36,730
Look, it's none of your fucking
business.
425
00:24:38,390 --> 00:24:40,330
Are you going to say something about the
sack racing?
426
00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:42,830
Why should I? To get some more interest.
427
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:45,030
There's only two names on the list, you
and Bob.
428
00:24:46,490 --> 00:24:47,490
Bob?
429
00:24:52,350 --> 00:24:53,350
Bob?
430
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,080
High jump.
431
00:25:03,020 --> 00:25:04,020
100 yards.
432
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,320
It's actually called the 100 metres.
433
00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:08,060
Oh.
434
00:25:09,540 --> 00:25:12,340
Ah, good. I was hoping to speak to Mr
McKenna.
435
00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:14,759
He's not here.
436
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:15,739
You're here.
437
00:25:15,740 --> 00:25:16,740
But he's not.
438
00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:18,340
That's right.
439
00:25:18,620 --> 00:25:20,480
Extraordinary. Good affection.
440
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:23,400
I really don't see why I should... Now!
441
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:44,760
Kurt, I was just wondering if the job
appeals at all.
442
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,540
Senko. Senko.
443
00:25:47,620 --> 00:25:49,360
I don't even know what that means.
444
00:25:49,980 --> 00:25:52,560
Seriously? Mm -hmm.
445
00:25:53,860 --> 00:25:58,980
The Special Educational Needs
Coordinator requires a delicate
446
00:25:58,980 --> 00:26:01,280
the problems associated with disability.
447
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,880
being part of a minority, forced to deal
with ignorance and prejudice.
448
00:26:06,300 --> 00:26:11,620
And it's a role that's vital to ensure
that we fulfil our legal and moral
449
00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:12,620
obligations.
450
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,780
Does it pay more? A bit.
451
00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:19,120
And you do less teaching.
452
00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:24,880
I could get a supply teacher to cover
most of your lessons, if you take the
453
00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:26,700
I don't know.
454
00:26:27,180 --> 00:26:29,760
If I didn't have to do any teaching...
It's a deal.
455
00:26:32,010 --> 00:26:37,850
In that case, it would be a pleasure, an
honour, to help my people get the kind
456
00:26:37,850 --> 00:26:39,850
of support and respect they're entitled
to.
457
00:26:41,270 --> 00:26:44,930
Try to remember, you're not Nelson
Mandela.
458
00:26:53,330 --> 00:26:57,050
This is going to be a piece of... What
do you want to tell me?
459
00:26:58,670 --> 00:27:01,170
I'll be like a head of department, only
without any students.
460
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,980
Apart from all the disabled ones.
There's only three.
461
00:27:06,220 --> 00:27:07,220
Ralph in the wheelchair.
462
00:27:07,540 --> 00:27:10,540
Sunit, the fat boy that showers all the
time. And the girl with the hairlet.
463
00:27:10,780 --> 00:27:11,780
Who?
464
00:27:12,020 --> 00:27:13,020
I don't know her name.
465
00:27:15,140 --> 00:27:17,140
What do you want?
466
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,400
Get the smoke in here.
467
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:19,259
Fuck off.
468
00:27:19,260 --> 00:27:20,260
We smoke in the normal toilet.
469
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,500
The normal toilet?
470
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,200
The toilet for normal people. As opposed
to?
471
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,240
The toilet for people who aren't normal.
472
00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:27,140
What's not normal about not being able
to walk?
473
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,760
Apart from the fact that it's not
normal. It's very normal.
474
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:33,100
You think most people can't walk?
475
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:35,980
But fuck off out of my office.
476
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:37,840
All right.
477
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:39,580
Keep your wheels on.
478
00:27:43,140 --> 00:27:44,660
Does that count as disabled?
479
00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:45,980
A hairlet?
480
00:27:46,580 --> 00:27:49,360
She talks a bit funny and makes a mess
when she eats.
481
00:27:50,580 --> 00:27:51,980
Sounds borderline to me.
482
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:53,440
A filmmaker.
483
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,480
She can join in the disabled race on
Thursday.
484
00:27:57,500 --> 00:27:59,760
We're not having a disabled race on
sports day.
485
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,220
Oh, I think you'll find we are.
486
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,860
If I can't do the sat race, you'll have
to throw out something for me, Ralph,
487
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,380
Sunit and Hairlip Girl.
488
00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:11,380
How about a messy eating competition or
who can shout the loudest? Are you
489
00:28:11,380 --> 00:28:12,339
taking a piss?
490
00:28:12,340 --> 00:28:13,340
No.
491
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:20,860
Be very careful what you say.
492
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:25,640
I now have the power to issue verbal and
written warnings for offensive language
493
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:26,780
and or behaviour.
494
00:28:27,409 --> 00:28:29,530
Bollocks. I have lots of new powers.
495
00:28:30,310 --> 00:28:32,030
And there's going to be changes around
here.
496
00:28:32,370 --> 00:28:33,370
What sort of changes?
497
00:28:34,750 --> 00:28:35,750
Rounds.
498
00:28:35,990 --> 00:28:36,990
All over the place.
499
00:28:37,450 --> 00:28:38,450
For skateboards?
500
00:28:38,630 --> 00:28:39,630
For wheelchairs.
501
00:28:40,290 --> 00:28:42,650
I have a budget, and I intend to use it.
502
00:28:49,430 --> 00:28:50,430
Brian?
503
00:28:51,390 --> 00:28:52,450
Yes, Kurt?
504
00:28:53,610 --> 00:28:55,550
We'll have to cover this grass with
tarmac.
505
00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:57,570
Why, tomorrow?
506
00:28:58,650 --> 00:29:02,170
Oh, you could just cut the grass right
down so the wheels don't stick.
507
00:29:03,070 --> 00:29:05,570
Um, how about we don't have a disabled
race at all?
508
00:29:06,490 --> 00:29:07,510
Oh, yeah.
509
00:29:08,270 --> 00:29:09,990
You'd love to keep us out of sight,
wouldn't you?
510
00:29:10,490 --> 00:29:11,490
Pretend we don't exist.
511
00:29:12,050 --> 00:29:13,790
Just saying it's a lot of bother.
512
00:29:14,650 --> 00:29:17,810
Are you going to allow running with your
toes in the corner of the track?
513
00:29:18,330 --> 00:29:19,630
Is it straight jumping only?
514
00:29:20,270 --> 00:29:23,390
I'm glad your negative attitude isn't
shared by most of the people I've spoken
515
00:29:23,390 --> 00:29:24,710
to. Straight jumping only.
516
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:26,340
It's better in my book. Oi!
517
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:28,560
Oi!
518
00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:32,160
What if he's got to me gravy?
519
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,540
I would never know, would I? I told you
to stick to Caesar salad.
520
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:37,600
Grated parmesan and anchovies.
521
00:29:38,260 --> 00:29:39,260
I don't think so.
522
00:29:40,700 --> 00:29:44,420
I'm fucking knackered. Why don't you let
Kurt wheel himself around? He said his
523
00:29:44,420 --> 00:29:45,500
hands are too sore.
524
00:29:45,940 --> 00:29:46,940
Ryan!
525
00:29:47,740 --> 00:29:49,720
Ryan! I think Kate needs some help.
526
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,100
I've taken him to the bog three times.
527
00:29:52,650 --> 00:29:54,050
I've cleaned dog shit off his wheels.
528
00:29:54,270 --> 00:29:58,230
I've rubbed Savlon on his blisters. Is
it too much to ask for ten minutes by
529
00:29:58,230 --> 00:30:00,710
myself just so I can eat some food in
peace?
530
00:30:01,050 --> 00:30:02,490
Fuck him. He can get his own lungs.
531
00:30:02,710 --> 00:30:04,230
Brian! Just ignore him. Brian!
532
00:30:08,090 --> 00:30:09,690
What did I do to deserve this?
533
00:30:09,890 --> 00:30:12,370
You put Kurt in the recovery position.
Yeah, I know what I did.
534
00:30:12,890 --> 00:30:17,210
He doesn't stop reminding me. I need
you. Over here. All right, you little
535
00:30:17,210 --> 00:30:18,210
I'm coming.
536
00:30:21,710 --> 00:30:23,210
Is that a pubic hair?
537
00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:30,870
Planet Lager.
538
00:30:31,070 --> 00:30:32,230
Why don't you go round?
539
00:30:32,530 --> 00:30:35,730
Your arms aren't paralysed, are they?
Can't you still get your wallet out?
540
00:30:36,350 --> 00:30:39,430
You nearly break his back and now you
won't even buy him a drink.
541
00:30:39,690 --> 00:30:41,870
Boy, he may be tricky as that since he
fell over.
542
00:30:42,710 --> 00:30:44,270
Can't he buy his own fucking drink?
543
00:30:45,290 --> 00:30:46,790
Some saving up?
544
00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:48,209
What for?
545
00:30:48,210 --> 00:30:49,250
Some kind of operation.
546
00:30:50,210 --> 00:30:51,210
Experimental. In America.
547
00:30:51,630 --> 00:30:52,890
I'm like the superman.
548
00:30:54,390 --> 00:30:56,250
You want an operation to make you fly.
549
00:30:56,530 --> 00:31:00,330
He's talking about Christopher Reeve. If
I need something like that, it'll cost
550
00:31:00,330 --> 00:31:02,910
me. Yeah, it'll cost you thousands of
pounds.
551
00:31:03,510 --> 00:31:07,050
You're not going to save thousands of
pounds by refusing to buy a pint of
552
00:31:07,190 --> 00:31:08,190
And there's all the practical.
553
00:31:08,530 --> 00:31:09,750
No changing the plan.
554
00:31:10,530 --> 00:31:11,530
Changing it how?
555
00:31:12,010 --> 00:31:13,350
I might need a stair lift.
556
00:31:13,810 --> 00:31:15,530
Which would be good for you too.
557
00:31:16,210 --> 00:31:17,850
Who am I, Thor of fucking Earth?
558
00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:21,590
That's Dame Thorifuckinghead. The late
Dame Thorifuckinghead.
559
00:31:21,950 --> 00:31:23,210
We could use it for pizzas.
560
00:31:23,530 --> 00:31:26,010
When we get one delivered, we can get
the bloke to put it on the chair.
561
00:31:26,210 --> 00:31:27,570
Save you a journey downstairs.
562
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:52,240
Thanks for watching!
563
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,520
If you're disabled, I can park anywhere.
564
00:32:29,780 --> 00:32:31,840
Not inside the school. Do you want me to
leave you up there?
565
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:33,280
I'll shut your mouth.
566
00:32:33,980 --> 00:32:35,400
Could you be in the set place today?
567
00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:37,860
Someone who can read people, yes.
568
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,160
That's such a good question.
569
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,380
Oi! What's the point?
570
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:50,400
You know
571
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:51,400
what?
572
00:32:57,860 --> 00:32:58,940
I think I need a crutch.
573
00:33:40,970 --> 00:33:44,350
I saw you. You lifted up your leg and
you stuck your foot out. It was just a
574
00:33:44,350 --> 00:33:47,410
reflex. An involuntary reaction. Like
blinking.
575
00:33:47,830 --> 00:33:48,830
Only not with your eye.
576
00:33:50,950 --> 00:33:52,550
You can move your legs.
577
00:33:53,650 --> 00:33:55,530
So you can probably walk. No, look.
578
00:33:58,030 --> 00:33:59,810
I can't do it now.
579
00:34:05,050 --> 00:34:08,290
And so I've brought in Patrick Small.
580
00:34:09,230 --> 00:34:13,090
We'll be taking over Mr McKenna's
lessons for the rest of the term.
581
00:34:13,350 --> 00:34:16,790
We'll see how the SENCO role... What are
you doing?
582
00:34:18,210 --> 00:34:20,210
No, I want to know what you're doing.
583
00:34:20,889 --> 00:34:22,070
Shut the fuck up!
584
00:34:24,130 --> 00:34:26,730
This is the signer I've borrowed from
the LEA.
585
00:34:26,949 --> 00:34:29,770
He's going to help us get our message
across to those colleagues with hearing
586
00:34:29,770 --> 00:34:32,650
problems. We don't have any colleagues
with hearing problems. We might have.
587
00:34:32,949 --> 00:34:34,610
Maybe they're just too embarrassed to
admit it.
588
00:34:35,310 --> 00:34:36,310
Anyone deaf?
589
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:44,920
What does that mean?
590
00:34:45,580 --> 00:34:49,000
It means it doesn't seem like it. You
can speak, then? Yeah.
591
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,100
We spoke on the phone? That was you?
592
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,560
I thought it was some kind of machine,
like Stephen Hawking.
593
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,940
Only more lifeline. Any chance I can
finish my announcements?
594
00:34:58,260 --> 00:34:59,260
Go ahead.
595
00:35:00,460 --> 00:35:03,960
But before you do, can I make one
announcement of my own?
596
00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:05,700
If you must.
597
00:35:05,860 --> 00:35:08,420
The bell we've been using to signal the
end of a lesson?
598
00:35:09,060 --> 00:35:10,060
It's got to go.
599
00:35:11,060 --> 00:35:14,200
Why? Well, how's a deaf kid supposed to
hear a bell?
600
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:15,980
He doesn't have to hear it.
601
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,220
He'll see the other kids walking out of
the classroom.
602
00:35:18,980 --> 00:35:20,060
Not if he's blind.
603
00:35:20,540 --> 00:35:21,640
Blind and deaf.
604
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:23,080
It's possible.
605
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:24,740
It's possible, yeah.
606
00:35:24,940 --> 00:35:26,120
I'd be very suspicious.
607
00:35:27,260 --> 00:35:29,300
That's because you discriminate against
the disabled.
608
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:30,800
Don't you mean disabled people?
609
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,060
It's offensive to call them the
disabled.
610
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:37,040
I can call them what I like. I'm one of
them. And the bell has to go. It
611
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,020
discriminates against our deaf students.
612
00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:41,000
We don't have any deaf students.
613
00:35:41,770 --> 00:35:42,830
What about blind students?
614
00:35:43,110 --> 00:35:44,069
No.
615
00:35:44,070 --> 00:35:45,070
Oh.
616
00:35:45,530 --> 00:35:49,970
I've arranged some signs to be made in
Braille. A fire exit, toilet, library.
617
00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:54,970
If we had any blind students, which we
don't, why would they want to use the
618
00:35:54,970 --> 00:35:57,450
library? To borrow some of the audio
books I've ordered.
619
00:35:57,950 --> 00:36:02,210
I've only chosen short books, in case
anyone's suffering from attention
620
00:36:02,210 --> 00:36:03,210
syndrome.
621
00:36:14,830 --> 00:36:15,830
Have to go.
622
00:36:17,170 --> 00:36:18,170
Why?
623
00:36:18,610 --> 00:36:20,490
If you've got no arm, you're fucked.
624
00:36:20,750 --> 00:36:22,890
You want to take the handles off? Yes.
625
00:36:23,930 --> 00:36:24,930
Anyone?
626
00:36:25,670 --> 00:36:27,230
Good question. What was the question?
627
00:36:28,070 --> 00:36:30,030
How will anyone get through the doors?
628
00:36:30,530 --> 00:36:31,530
Right.
629
00:36:31,710 --> 00:36:32,710
Lose the doors.
630
00:36:33,070 --> 00:36:38,570
You got rid of the doors? You told me my
remit included structural alterations.
631
00:36:38,850 --> 00:36:41,990
I was trying to make you feel important,
so you'd take the job and deal with all
632
00:36:41,990 --> 00:36:43,430
the shit I haven't got time for.
633
00:36:43,750 --> 00:36:44,750
What?
634
00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:46,620
William Tyler.
635
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,380
I wanted to ask his parents to come and
see you so you can tell them their son's
636
00:36:51,380 --> 00:36:55,660
about to be a theft by the LEA's EP and,
if he's statemented, may require one
637
00:36:55,660 --> 00:36:58,500
-to -one attention and or a transfer to
the PRU.
638
00:36:59,220 --> 00:37:00,220
What?
639
00:37:00,620 --> 00:37:02,420
I think he's special needs.
640
00:37:03,820 --> 00:37:08,380
And you want me to tell his parents that
he's mental?
641
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:11,500
You might want to use a different form
of words.
642
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:14,560
But he'll kill me.
643
00:37:14,890 --> 00:37:15,890
Probably.
644
00:37:16,550 --> 00:37:20,430
SN statements, EP assessments, funding
applications.
645
00:37:20,650 --> 00:37:23,030
This is what you'll have to deal with
from now on.
646
00:37:24,550 --> 00:37:28,810
But we've got Ralph, Sunita and the girl
with the hair lip. Plus, 57 students
647
00:37:28,810 --> 00:37:32,690
with behavioural, attitudinal and
emotional problems.
648
00:37:33,450 --> 00:37:36,870
Do you honestly think you'd get paid
more money for looking after three
649
00:37:36,870 --> 00:37:37,870
students?
650
00:37:38,150 --> 00:37:39,150
Yes.
651
00:37:46,100 --> 00:37:48,280
Tyler? Sorry, Mrs. Tyler.
652
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,740
Is this Kurt McKenna from school?
653
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,120
No, I'm one of the teachers.
654
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,080
I'm trying to have a private
conversation.
655
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:58,280
Why don't you walk over there?
656
00:37:59,180 --> 00:38:00,180
What do you mean, walk?
657
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,940
Did I say walk? I meant push yourself
up.
658
00:38:05,180 --> 00:38:06,180
Mrs.
659
00:38:06,820 --> 00:38:08,740
Tyler? Yeah, sorry.
660
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,900
I just wanted to ask if we could meet
for a chat.
661
00:38:14,730 --> 00:38:18,930
I know we're chatting now, but we need
to have a serious conversation about how
662
00:38:18,930 --> 00:38:20,890
we can help William with his reading and
writing.
663
00:38:22,390 --> 00:38:23,390
And talking.
664
00:38:24,990 --> 00:38:25,990
Hello?
665
00:38:26,950 --> 00:38:27,950
Hello?
666
00:38:30,730 --> 00:38:31,730
Hi.
667
00:38:32,290 --> 00:38:34,570
Those are year 10s, those are year 11s.
668
00:38:34,970 --> 00:38:39,470
You need to cover information systems,
input methods, output methods, storage,
669
00:38:39,670 --> 00:38:40,670
files and software.
670
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,220
So that's basically the entire GCSE
course.
671
00:38:46,380 --> 00:38:47,620
You got a problem with that?
672
00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:50,940
No. No problem.
673
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,340
I don't want fucking damaging.
674
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,780
Then get some hot food. I can't risk it.
675
00:39:07,060 --> 00:39:09,440
He's back there just waiting to catch me
out.
676
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:13,820
What if I asked for some of yours?
677
00:39:14,340 --> 00:39:16,440
What if I asked for some of your food?
Would you let me have it?
678
00:39:16,660 --> 00:39:17,780
No, I meant if it's something edible.
679
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:21,960
Of course Lindsay would give you some of
her lunch. Oh, but then she's not a
680
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:22,939
selfish bastard.
681
00:39:22,940 --> 00:39:24,380
You could prove that you're not.
682
00:39:24,620 --> 00:39:25,620
Okay, I will.
683
00:39:27,860 --> 00:39:30,040
One day... It's ruining me life!
684
00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:32,520
Why can't I just die in agony or
something?
685
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:33,718
Would you like that?
686
00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:34,720
No, I'd be very upset.
687
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,040
Because I really want to eat fucking
sandwiches for the rest of me fucking
688
00:39:41,230 --> 00:39:42,870
The discus comes with it.
689
00:39:43,530 --> 00:39:45,910
This is not a great discus, but it's
used.
690
00:39:47,450 --> 00:39:48,850
It's used on the road.
691
00:39:50,050 --> 00:39:51,770
The road is in a place.
692
00:39:53,870 --> 00:39:54,870
It's all right.
693
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,000
What the fuck?
694
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:27,180
Ah, Jesus.
695
00:40:28,260 --> 00:40:30,920
Could have killed me. What are you
pointing at, are you? What were you
696
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:34,680
do? I thought that the gun might trigger
some kind of involuntary reaction.
697
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:36,700
Are we going to do this race or not?
698
00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:48,820
This is just in case you're deaf.
699
00:40:51,460 --> 00:40:52,460
Fucking fuck!
700
00:40:55,840 --> 00:41:02,360
And in case you're blind, it says, on
your mark, get set...
701
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:31,240
Fucking grass is way too long. I demand
a rematch.
702
00:41:34,740 --> 00:41:35,740
What's up with him?
703
00:41:36,380 --> 00:41:37,380
Call an ambulance.
704
00:41:37,460 --> 00:41:39,060
Right, leave it to me. Get out of the
way.
705
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:40,280
Get out of the way.
706
00:41:51,860 --> 00:41:52,860
No.
707
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:57,880
Dad. Who?
708
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:01,640
That dinner lady who hates you. He
collapsed during the disabled race and
709
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:02,259
he's dead.
710
00:42:02,260 --> 00:42:03,260
Are you sure?
711
00:42:04,140 --> 00:42:06,300
I did airway, breathing, circulation.
712
00:42:06,700 --> 00:42:09,600
You should have called an ambulance.
713
00:42:09,980 --> 00:42:11,880
I told Matt to get one. He never turned
up.
714
00:42:12,460 --> 00:42:13,900
Is it true about this dinner lady?
715
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:15,118
Is he dead?
716
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,120
No, he's fine.
717
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:17,440
Really? Yes.
718
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:22,220
Excellent. Claire wants to know when
you're going to give her the pack race
719
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,800
The other five yards, I'd have pulled in
front, no problem.
720
00:42:30,340 --> 00:42:32,820
There's only one thing I hate more than
a bad loser.
721
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:33,839
What's that?
722
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:34,840
You. Right.
723
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:40,260
When I call your name, hop up on the
podium and I'll... Where's the podium?
724
00:42:40,620 --> 00:42:42,300
Mr McKenna told me to get rid of it.
725
00:42:43,620 --> 00:42:47,620
What? He said you couldn't fit a
wheelchair on top. It was
726
00:42:47,820 --> 00:42:48,820
I hope that's OK.
727
00:42:49,060 --> 00:42:51,920
But... I spent days making it.
728
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:54,360
Painting it.
729
00:42:54,860 --> 00:42:55,860
He knows that.
730
00:43:10,839 --> 00:43:12,560
Have you seen Kurt? Not yet.
731
00:43:12,820 --> 00:43:16,320
Mr. and Mrs. Tyler would like a word
with him, but he seems to have
732
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,200
I'm going to kill the little fucker.
733
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,400
Then let me show you where he is.
734
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:25,440
Hello, Mr. Tyler.
735
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,500
My son is not fucking mental. Of course
not.
736
00:43:28,860 --> 00:43:33,260
He might have to be assessed by... That
737
00:43:33,260 --> 00:43:37,560
dinner lady.
738
00:43:37,980 --> 00:43:38,980
What about him?
739
00:43:43,900 --> 00:43:45,340
Brian asked you to ring for an
ambulance?
740
00:43:46,740 --> 00:43:47,740
Yeah.
741
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,080
But you didn't.
742
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:51,040
No.
743
00:43:53,390 --> 00:43:56,470
He left it to Brian to save his life,
and only for a while he'd fuck it up,
744
00:43:56,550 --> 00:43:58,470
thereby killing the evil little bastard.
745
00:44:02,370 --> 00:44:03,550
Did you try to let him die?
746
00:44:04,930 --> 00:44:07,150
Because I said I wanted him to die.
747
00:44:09,430 --> 00:44:10,770
And there was nothing in it for you?
748
00:44:21,730 --> 00:44:23,400
That is so... Sweet.
749
00:44:46,180 --> 00:44:47,480
It's okay, they've gone.
750
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:48,819
You sure?
751
00:44:48,820 --> 00:44:49,820
Yeah.
752
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:51,080
Police took them away.
753
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:01,120
I thought I was going to shit myself.
754
00:45:03,420 --> 00:45:04,339
Did you?
755
00:45:04,340 --> 00:45:05,340
No.
756
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,000
Not really.
757
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:11,160
So, you can walk?
758
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:12,640
Yeah.
759
00:45:14,860 --> 00:45:15,860
It's a miracle.
760
00:45:16,220 --> 00:45:17,540
Yeah, it must be.
761
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,820
Now you're standing up all by yourself.
762
00:45:22,260 --> 00:45:24,860
I guess my spinal cords have untangled.
763
00:45:25,340 --> 00:45:26,400
Or something.
764
00:45:40,430 --> 00:45:42,890
Did you know we've got 57 special needs
kids?
765
00:45:44,710 --> 00:45:51,570
So that's... 130... 140 parents who
might want to kill you if you
766
00:45:51,570 --> 00:45:52,570
say their kid's mental.
767
00:45:54,810 --> 00:45:55,810
Jesus.
768
00:45:57,570 --> 00:45:58,910
I'd rather do some teaching.
769
00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:07,710
Thank you.
770
00:46:08,010 --> 00:46:09,010
No wish.
771
00:46:12,430 --> 00:46:14,330
Anyway. Can anyone give me a hand?
772
00:46:15,990 --> 00:46:16,990
I'm going to chop that!
773
00:46:20,090 --> 00:46:22,390
Cheers. You all know Patrick, don't you?
774
00:46:23,330 --> 00:46:25,470
Claire said I won't be covering your
lessons in future.
775
00:46:25,810 --> 00:46:26,970
She explained what happened.
776
00:46:27,330 --> 00:46:28,330
She didn't sack me.
777
00:46:28,470 --> 00:46:30,650
Did she say she sacked me? Because if
she did, she's lying.
778
00:46:30,870 --> 00:46:32,010
I resigned, OK?
779
00:46:32,830 --> 00:46:33,830
I quit.
780
00:46:34,030 --> 00:46:36,730
Well, actually, she just said you fucked
her up the fucking arse.
781
00:46:37,070 --> 00:46:38,450
I assume she didn't mean you...
782
00:46:38,830 --> 00:46:42,010
I won't eat these now. Oh, my back. Oh,
don't start.
783
00:46:44,530 --> 00:46:45,530
What's that?
784
00:46:45,790 --> 00:46:46,790
Oh, no.
785
00:46:48,090 --> 00:46:51,010
Bob's party. We don't have to go, do we?
786
00:46:53,130 --> 00:46:54,730
Is this it? Just us?
787
00:46:55,070 --> 00:46:56,930
I only wanted my closest friends.
788
00:46:57,310 --> 00:46:58,690
Then what are we doing here?
789
00:47:01,210 --> 00:47:02,430
Oh, my Lord.
54337
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