All language subtitles for Teachers s03e10

What about top three breasts?

Don't they normally come in two?

Top three pairs of breasts.

Done it. Have we? Several times.

Top three cartoon characters. No way
have we done cartoon characters.

Yours a Hong Kong phooey because he's a
dog martial arts expert. Fat dog Mendoza

because he's a fat dog.

Muttley because he's a dog. A wheezing
dog.

Lindsay's a foghorn, leghorn, Shrek.
Shrek's a film star. Still a cartoon.

We even had a tiger. Did we?

Followed by this conversation.

We don't know top three anything.

That's because we don't give a fuck.

What do you want to know, top three
films?

No. Goodbye, Mr. Chip. I've got a donut
version.

Urban classic, Danger Spice, and Prime
of Miss Jean Brody.

They're all about future.

So, about unconventional inspirational
features.

Yep. You don't see any disparity in
that.

It's shut.

Oh, God, I'm fucking stuck.

What are we going to do?

Go somewhere else?

Oh, yeah.

To Sir We Love Now. That was a film.

Yeah, a shit film.

What do you know about it, fat sir?

I know that it's a load of sentimental
bollocks.

I totally ignore the fact that kids hate
teachers and teachers hate kids.

I don't hate the kids.

They hate you, so you might as well
start.

Cheapest night out I've had in years.

Same time, same bench tonight.

Can you all sign this card for Carol,
please?

Is it her birthday?

Carol's had her baby.

No. Her mother died and I thought this
card might cheer her up.

What does the baby look like? Don't you
mean who does it look like?

It's not going to look like me.

Let's fucking open up.

Can you give us any clues, Liz?

How should I know?

Haven't you seen it yet?

What do you have to do when you see
someone's baby for the first time?

Say a nice thing.

Exactly. She's got a point.

With the gene pools you've got to choose
from, chances are it's not going to win

any prizes.

Oh, it'll be fucking hideous.

Oi, do you mind?

I thought it couldn't be yours.

I've still no way to talk about a baby.

See you in Carol.

Then you can go and see it. No fucking
way. It might be the bomb.

Citizenship. I thought it'd be good.

to give this new initiative a little
extra emphasis this term.

We're the students' teachers, but we're
also their mentors, their role models.

And we have to remember that some
students do look to us for support.

There's also a legal requirement to
cover citizenship, and if I feel it's

being done, I'll have no option but to
introduce compulsory lessons.

Liz also has a card for you all to sign.

What does Carol have?

A baby, I believe.

Lindsay, word in my office, please.

I've had a number of complaints from
students saying that you've been rude

aggressive.

Who said that? It doesn't matter. It
matters to me.

Teaching isn't only about ticking boxes
and getting exam results.

Isn't it?

No, it isn't.

As I said this morning, it's about...
being...

A good role model.

And... Something else.

So...

Is that

it? Sorry?

Is that it?

Did I mention role models?

Yep. Then that's it.

I'm a bit confused about exactly what
you're asking me to do. Just... be

OK. Which one of you lot ran whining to
Mrs Hunter about me?

Hmm?

Let's just get one thing straight, shall
we?

I am not rude and aggressive.

I'm firm and committed.

Understand?

Right. Hands up anyone here who's not
feeling valued.

Thought of another one?

Another what?

Phil, I can't believe I missed this one.
It's a classic.

I'll have to drop Gene Brodie off the
top three and add dead poet society.

Robin Williams takes a bunch of
emotionally oppressed public school boys

helps them to realise potential they
never knew they had. And how does he do

that? Oh, he inspires them.

Well, that's obviously where you're
going wrong, isn't it?

lack of inspiration.

Oh, shit, that must be it.

What a shame I have no intention of
taking any notice of either you or

Well, I'm only trying to help. I mean,
were you never inspired by a teacher?

Oh, my old English teacher, Dr Dobson,
he was the first person to really

me to get me to use my imagination.

Bob wants to see you again.

Now? No.

I'm sure when she came storming up to my
desk saying, I want to see Lindsay in

my office immediately, she really
meant... In her own time.

We all loved Jackie Docter. I mean, we'd
have done anything for him.

Anything. I mean, we'd probably have
laid down our lives for him.

I'm filling up.

So?

What?

You asked to see me.

Did I?

Your class have reported that you were
rude and aggressive when you were

grilling them about whether they found
you rude and aggressive.

This is a verbal warning, understand?

I don't want any more complaints.

In fact, I want glowing reports from
happy, fulfilled children.

If not, you receive a written warning,
followed by dismissal. OK?

That's it. Thank you.

Is it?

I'm late for something.

What's going on?

Back.

Work. What?

Mad woman.

Work. Don't worry, Claire. I'll sort
this out. Excellent.

First sign of any disruption.

What am I going to do?

Jump before you bust.

None of Robin Williams' pupils would
have complained about him.

And at my school, none of us kids would
have grasped up Jackie Thompson.

We'd rather have taken a beating or had
our tongues cut out, our arms hacked

off.

I'm sorry.

Why don't you call in sick for a few
days, put her down to illness, let the

whole thing blow over.

And then get sacked for negligence.

You could always apologise to your
class, cry a bit and tell them you've

few domestic problems.

I fucking couldn't.

Pretend it didn't happen, it'll probably
go away.

And if it doesn't?

You're fucked anyway.

Or you could always use the time you've
got left to rob the stationery cupboard

and check the job ads.

Cheers.

You've been a great help.

It's trying to make you feel better.

Oh, Kurt.

Carol's in the office with the baby.

Did you get a look at it?

And how would that have made me feel
better?

It might have taken your mind off being
sacked.

Bob.

Bob, I want to talk to you.

Where are they?

Who? The rest of the piss -taking
fuckers.

There's no one else.

Was it some kind of bet? Get Bob to make
a complete twat of himself?

No, because that would be too easy.

I'm not taking the piss.

It isn't a bet.

I never, ever thought I would say this,
but I need your help.

Why is it they only ever come to me when
they're really fucking desperate?

Do you need to ask?

Now, you have to have a desire to bring
out the best in your students.

No, that's not so hard.

No, not if you genuinely believe in it,
but if you don't, then it's impossible

to fake it.

Is it?

Absolutely. You had that last curtain in
one go, Brian.

I'm so impressed that I'm going to give
you one of mine.

Cheers.

See?

You're dead.

Now, if you're serious about this, I've
got some things at home that I have.

What sort of things?

Aids, oral and visual.

It'll take discipline and commitment
and, uh, a bottle of whiskey.

Whiskey. No, I give you what you want.
You give me what I want.

It's a two -way street.

Stop!

Run!

Run!

What are they?

My three favourite films.

I give you whiskey and you give me three
old videos?

It's to get you in the mindset.

There's also a list of do's and don'ts,
some practical tips and my mobile

number's on the sheet. I'm available 24
hours a day.

And do the work?

What? The practical tips.

How should I know?

You've never tried them?

No.

Why not?

I've never had the nerve.

I just wanted to say, have a lovely day.

Rule one, be nice. Rule two, break
convention.

Rule three, get them thinking to
themselves.

Practical tips on the back.

Uniform, squat.

Take lessons outside.

Death standing.

Powerful stuff. Can't wait to see you in
action.

What do you mean?

I intend to put the chair outside the
classroom and watch every lesson until

end of term. And me. And me. Me too.

Why are we doing this, Meg?

I have no idea.

The dark, moist place where passions
dwell.

A lair for the worm that pumps and
swells. You won't find

this in your books.

A gate to heaven and to hell.

The slap of thighs and the tolling.

Honestly? Absolutely.

Not a lot.

Right, well, OK, let's get on.

Another look at your S .I .s from last
week.

Who made it?

Doesn't matter. We'll start with
Eddie's, shall we? It's good that you

Me and a rat.

Well? Well, we want to hear it.

Really?

It's not polished, obviously.

The questing tongue that seeks to lick
the dribbling juices

flowing thick.

This is great, isn't it?

Makes you look at me in a whole new
light, right?

What can you tell me about this?

It's a tree.

What kind of a tree?

A green one.

Look, if I'm going to make the effort to
bring you outside, you could at least

enjoy it.

staining the sheets of tangled dreams.

I think it's time we did some proper
work.

Haven't you got another one, sir?

Well, there is a short piece called
Contaminated Years.

I'd like to think that hearing these has
inspired something in you, too. So,

tonight's homework, instead of an essay
on the metaphysical poet, how about you

all have a go at writing a poem?

Bring it in tomorrow.

And read it out.

Contaminated years.

Oh, putrefying flesh.

I've also instigated a review of office
working hours to keep us in line with

European directives. Yeah.

The baby's very quiet, Carol.

I also think we need to review the hours
that certain members of the secretarial

team are forced to work.

Fine.

Lindsay, I noticed you had your class
outside staring at trees today.

Just trying to break the confines of the
classroom.

Open up the potential, enabling and
supporting the students, like you said.

Sounds more like a desperate attempt at
getting the students to like you.

Have you had any complaints about me
today? Not so far.

But after what I said to you this
morning, I hope you won't get

You didn't say anything to me this
morning, did you?

Not about the concerned parents?

What concerned parents?

The drinking in the kebab shop.

No, my disgust and disappointment.

You didn't say anything?

I'm sure I spoke to you.

Oh, well.

This morning, I had a call from a parent
who saw you out drinking on a park

bench last night, then later causing a
disturbance outside a kebab shop.

It wasn't just me.

Why does it pick me out?

Because you're fat.

And as such, noticeable.

Now, this isn't the first such report
I've had about you, just the first I've

had directly from a parent, which makes
it very serious indeed.

I look upon this sort of thing with
disgust and disappointment, and it will

happen again, right?

Now, get out of my sight.

I'm sure I said a word to her earlier.

I don't think it can be overstated.

Clare's had another accident.

Carol's getting the bus back to pick it
up.

Fifteen quid to have a look.

Has anyone else called and bought?

No. Why don't you have a look at it
yourself?

I'd make it cry and then you'd have to
sort it out.

He's just scared that it'll be like
looking into a mirror. Anyway,

I wouldn't even know if it did look like
me.

And you worked that out how exactly?

Well, you never really know what you
look like, do you?

People are always telling me that I look
like Matthew Perry.

I can't see it. Matthew Kelly?

No one said you look like Matthew
fucking Perry. Yes, they have.

Who said that?

Several people that you don't actually
know.

And that's why you want someone to look
at it, so they can tell you if it looks

like you? Or Matthew Kelly. Except it's
not my fucking baby.

Thanks.

Stop him for a can, Carol.

Carol watched the baby.

You know, I meant both of us.

You know, it's really strange.

But the more desperate he gets, the
longer I want the agony prolonged.

I can't recall someone that's warm and
interesting.

What is wrong with you tonight? She's
sober.

Then it's self -inflicted.

The parents performed a committee to
persecute me.

So to keep them in clear of me, back I'm
off drinking for a couple of days.

Okay. Okay.

Your funeral.

Pass me another can.

You've had five already.

So have you.

I bought ten, you bought five.

I needed to save money to get someone to
look at a baby.

Oh, I'm going home.

Why? I've got a video to watch.

Well, why didn't you say?

I'm amazed you managed to stay out so
long.

Fifteen quid and two cans of lager till
I get it tomorrow.

I haven't got any lager.

Well, I'll borrow two cans off you and
pay you back tomorrow.

Nope.

I'll borrow two cans anyway.

Nothing.

You're working.

You're not even faking working. You're
actually working.

For the first time in ages, I woke up
feeling good.

No hangover, no headache, no nausea,
nothing.

So I got up early, came in here, saw
these books and thought, I'll just do

work at the market.

Better finish now I've started.

Good morning.

Morning, Steve.

It's all right.

Morning,

Bob. Morning. I was told, Bill.

Can we talk about them sometime?

Always available.

One night of abstinence and she wakes up
with Doris fucking Day.

Can you stop that, please?

Thank you.

And Robin Williams being chaired
shoulder high by his pupils, being

round the sports pitch, cheering. I love
that.

Maybe it's some sort of chemical
imbalance brought on by not drinking.

is a delicate machine.

Take away a vital fuel like alcohol,
anything could happen.

When I was on antibiotics for a month, I
made the Queen Mary out of lollipop

sticks. The ship, not the person.

Clare's busy, so I've been asked to deal
with messages today.

Is she here?

Most of her.

In the light of recent amended
timetables, changes will be posted on

Changes will be posted.

Thank you.

Brian?

With Clare being ill, who do we go to if
we've got a problem?

Well, I suppose that would be me.

As long as the problem's school
-related, doesn't require any extra work

sympathy on my part.

I just wanted to know what citizenship
is.

I mean, I'm doing it, but what is it?

Isn't it obvious?

No, otherwise I wouldn't be asking what
it is.

It's about encouraging them.

Talking about... Maybe...

Maybe we should just leave it until
Claire can tell us.

the result.

Fucking hell.

Carol's baby's possessed Claire.

So what happens now? Who runs the
school? Who cares?

Well, it looks like it's going to be
down to me to fill the pallet that in.

Good job it's happening now when I'm at
the top of my game. The time is perfect.

Perfect. Do you think they'll ask you to
take over?

Well, I've had my moments of doubt, but
now with this happening to Claire, it's

a confirmation that I'm on the right
road.

You know what?

I think I might have found a bit of
direction too.

When I watched those films last night...

I felt elated.

Allowing yourself to believe.

That's what it's all about.

Oi, how's your drink, Liza? Thought we
might even try a pub tonight.

Yeah. We're willing to do all the
drinking if you prefer.

Not really expected at sport, is it? But
you're off the hook now, Claire's gone

mental, so let's get pissed.

I just don't really fancy it.

It's not about Claire anymore.

Well, what is it about?

It's about waking up in the morning and
thinking, can I wait to get in the

classroom?

It's about finding potential and just
letting it fly.

I didn't get any of that.

I'd rather hear more of your poems.

Well, maybe it's a treat. Later.

First, I want to hear your efforts.

Who's first?

Martin.

I forgot to do it, sir.

Get up anyway.

What? On your feet.

Make a poem up.

Now? Right now. Open your mouth and
speak.

Come on, it'll be good for you.

Whatever comes into your head.

Now!

This is how a tree feels in the high
wind.

Oh, isn't it great?

Come on, Adam.

Feel the wind.

You'd think a tree would be happy to be
blown about.

Don't you?

The wind rips off its leaves, pulls off
its branches and loosens its roots. So

no, I don't think it would be happy.

Excellent. Sad swing, everyone. Come on.

Love doesn't have to hurt to feel good.

It's such a revelation.

With you I can be myself and always
should.

Ah, that was... I think we've made a
major breakthrough.

Remember this.

All right.

Okay, who's next?

You want me to be your domestic slave
for the rest of the term?

I want you to be my domestic slave.

My alcohol supplier, my homework marker
and my foot massager.

Then, and only then, will I even think
of looking in the front.

What's going on?

What are you talking?

I mean, what's going on with Ed?

He called me thick.

What about the other two?

They laughed.

You don't think that getting them to do
something a bit more constructive would

be a more beneficial punishment?

No.

How many piss -ups are they going to do?

Twenty. Go on, lads, you can do it.

Positive thinking, that's the key.

How many have they done?

That's three.

The purpose of the Lunchtime Biology
Club is to do all the things you always

wanted to do in class, but were too
afraid to ask. Like putting animals in a

microwave and seeing how long they take
to explode.

I've got a suggestion.

How about we do something I've always
wanted to do?

How about we liberate the frogs?

You're very calm, considering it's your
pitch you set them free on.

She was talking about turning it into a
school nature reserve, with a pond and

everything.

So we reached a compromise.

Which was?

She could set the frogs free on the
pitch, and instead of putting a nature

reserve there, I'd help her build a
Japanese peace garden.

That's very nice of you.

So, where's she intending on having this
peace garden?

Here. Here, here.

Right here.

Will it have an ashtray incorporated?

You lot won't be using it. It's going to
be a smoke -free environment.

Um, you'd better start to draw up plans
for a nature reserve, because you're not

building a rock garden here. The
heritage site, an area of outstanding

interest. I think you'll find that
eventually I'll have both the Japanese

and the nature reserve up and running.

It's not what we agreed.

Unlike you, Brian, I put the best
interests of the school before me own.

And once I show my plans to Claire,
she'll see it's a chance to turn these

areas of ground into major assets.

I can't believe she lied to me. What are
we supposed to do with a fucking pun?

Take her for swimming?

What if she turns all of our lovely dead
areas into beautiful fucking gardens?

Then we'll just have to review the way
we look at things. Or get her back

drinking. How? She hates the park.

We could make it more comfy.

Bring some cushions and stuff.

She's not drinking, so I'm not drinking.
We could invite her out, make her

comfortable, lull her into a false sense
of security, then pin her down and pour

lager down her throat.

Excellent. Why mess with things when we
can turn it to our own benefit?

How?

Just as there are major disadvantages to
having committed, enthusiastic, totally

focused colleagues, there have to be an
equal number of advantages.

Like what?

Like the times Claire asked for
volunteers for extra work, or allocates

people to cover classes or take on
extracurricular clubs and societies.

What?

What in the fucking world?

Then there are the advantages you just
can't predict.

Sleep? Endless possibilities.

Are you asleep again?

I found this book. I started reading,
but I couldn't put the thing down.

You're looking good today, Bob.

Another day, another chance to excel.

I'm going to give you more.

Fucking get off.

It comes from a broken home.

They're the ones who need it most.

I don't know what Matt was fucking
talking about.

Now, where's the advantage in having two
fucks deluded whilst wandering around a

school? Well, they're keeping each other
on, dividing out of our way. That's

great.

I can watch what I like on telly, and
there's always plenty of wine left in

rack and beer in the fridge.

Don't need a flatmate, dear.

What the hell is that?

What does it look like?

Like a baby.

Nothing gets past you, Sue, does it?

I spotted it in the bathtub.

Just pick up people's babies and take
them into work with you.

If everyone did it, it'd be Carol.

Carol's. How do you know?

Best to double check.

Hurry up before Carol gets here.

Have a look.

For God's sake.

Fucking hell. What?

Horrible.

Chinese.

It was at the bus stop.

Apparently. I forgot.

Lovely?

Yeah. Yeah, lovely.

Don't you reckon it's farther in?

Four.

Tricky, Mum.

We could draw up a list of probables and
boil them down to a top five.

We'll conduct DNA tests.

I'm putting a proposal in to Claire
about providing a support system for

troubled students.

I just need people to commit to pushing
it through.

What do you say?

No. No. No.

No.

Thank you, everyone.

Some of you may be aware of the presence
of amphibian interlopers on school

grounds. We've called in an expert to
remove them.

Humanely, I hope.

If I had my way, it would be with a
flamethrower and a fist light.

But I'm assured they will remain
unharmed, yes.

Until then, I suggest you avoid open
-toed sandals.

Sorry, I'm late. I've been printing
these off.

I've already started the briefing.

Shall I take over from here, then?

Why? Well...

If Claire's not up to it, I think it
should fall upon a member of the

staff to start the day, don't you?

You think Claire wants you running
things?

Why not?

Well, let me see now.

Because you're washed up?

I think you'll find I'm far from washed
up. I have a new appetite for the job, a

new desire to do it to the best of my
ability. But you really are a pathetic,

ignorant little man, aren't you? Little?

That's not how you referred to me when
we were going out together.

Anyway. Going out?

OK. When we made love.

You mean when we had sex in the toilet?

And in the gym. And on Claire's desk.

And in the photocopying room. You were a
charity kiss and I pitied you. Oh,

yeah, you pitied me so much that you had
to do it again and again and again.

I want to see Claire.

Fine. And I want to see her today.

I'll... I'll see what I can do. No, I'll
see what you can do.

Out of my way!

I'll

let

you know when she is available.

Why can't we stay and listen?

Shag it.

I'm vomiting, do you think?

Why would anyone shag that sad, fat
loser?

Who, Liz?

No, Bob. Bob's not a loser.

Totally an unqualified success.

All that's changing, though, and when he
becomes headteacher, yeah.

Bob? Yeah, I think he'd make a great
headteacher.

What, if all the other candidates were
taken out in a freak terrorist attack?

What have you got against him?

He's fat, he's bald, he sweats, he
smells.

You could learn a lot from him.

Well, I have to be a fat, bald, sweaty,
stinking twat.

You should give him the respect he
deserves.

What, just that?

Phil's gone. He'll leave for class.

But so are you, then.

You can't keep this up all day.

Neither can you.

Watch me.

Don't you have classes to teach?

And you?

Same.

Well, that's pretty stupid, isn't it?
How come they get to piss about and do

what they want?

Well,

I'm sure they're working in their own
way.

Well, can't we do that, then?

You're here so that I can teach you
Shakespeare.

And I can't teach you Shakespeare if
you're standing on your head.

I can't teach you Shakespeare because
you're shit.

Just read the book.

You know what you were saying about
using Lindsay and Bog to our advantage?

Yeah. You remember what Lindsay was
saying this morning about establishing

support systems for troubled children?

What? Well, which students do we all
really hate dealing with?

Could run into hundreds.

It'd be easier to list the ones we
really like dealing with. What if there

an easy way to offload the worst ones?

Will it involve guns and bloodshed? It
will just involve using the new

recently opened up to us.

Just drop it.

Carol?

Carol?

Is Liz in there with you?

No.

Are you missing anything?

Just unlock the door, no harm will come
to it.

Play in our office.

Bomb!

You're going to stop me.

Aren't I?

Look, you tell her I'm here and I'm not
going away until I see her. Or what?

Liz, can I run something by you?

Oh, she's not in charge. Isn't she? You
see, it's me that they come to.

What do you want?

So are you in charge, then? No.

Provisionally. I wondered if you'd mind
if we gave our annoying kids to Lindsay.

I've worked very closely with Claire for
the past five years now. And I've been

at the school for eight. Is that all
right, then? Look, I couldn't give a

Me neither.

OK. It's not about how long you've been
here.

It's about how suitable you are for the
job.

You're saying I'm unsuitable? What do
you think I'm fucking saying?

Can anyone tell me what mutualism means?

Even if you don't know the answer, you
can still have a go.

Whatever you say is going to be valid.

Wayne? My friend Toby's got the
Labrador.

Right.

Excellent.

With your newfound skills and
commitment, you could support and

in a far better way than we ever could.

But this is a biology class.

I think if these kids learn anything
about anything, it'll be a massive step

forward for them. I don't want to take
this kind of challenge away from you

though. Think nothing of it.

Only if you're sure.

We're sure.

We really appreciate this.

Just find somewhere to sit and we'll
carry on.

Why do you think they're here?

Anyone?

Because Miss Nell was a bitch.

I know that you think of yourselves as
different.

That you've been made to feel excluded
in some way.

But to me, you're not troublemakers.

You're individuals.

Let's start with a straight question,
shall we?

Who were you angry with?

I was born for this moment. So was I.
Well, if you want a fight, you've got

And this time, it'll be to the bitter
end. And I will not be... Silenced.

You're looking very smart, Bob.

Have you got an appointment?

Uh, no.

Not really.

Someone bring me up to date with where
we are?

The baby's still here, I see.

Yes.

Sort it for me, please.

This is a working environment, and I
want to see it working.

I also want a copy of all memos issued
in the last 48 hours, ASAP.

So, what happened?

The menopause. I'm fine now.

All you needed was a bit of love and
support.

It's not me, or the school, or authority
you're angry with.

It's yourselves.

Now, we've torn down the walls between
us.

Let's start building something of value.

Let's go outside and dance.

Can I ask why you're wandering aimlessly
around the school with a bunch of

students who don't even belong in your
class, Miss Pierce?

I've taken them on as a special project.

Actually, I wanted to ask you about
starting a unique group devoted to...

What? I said no.

No to groups and no to special projects.

But I really believe I'm messing up. I'm
talking to myself here. I said no. Now

stop fucking around and get these
students back into their proper classes.

But they need to.

What the fuck are you lot doing here?

Get back to your classes now!

Do you think Mr Chong will marry Carol
now?

He's married already, isn't he? Are you
a bit disappointed?

What, that Carol and Mr Chong can't get
married? But you're not the father.

How would I explain a Chinese baby to my
mum and dad?

I'm disappointed.

I was quite looking forward to being an
uncle.

Probably for the best, though. You'd
have been a shit -dog.

Fuck off, I'd have been brilliant.

I'd have taken it to the zoo and...

Taught it how to... Drink eight counts
of lager.

One can do a sock.

I can't believe you think I'd be a shit
dad. Well, you're a shit teacher, so

it's not that big a leap.

What's the matter with you?

Were you upset that Claire got better
and ruined your petty little dreams?

Just when I was beginning to enjoy my
job, she turns round and recovers. I

two days.

What can I put into operation in two
days?

Nothing. What was it then?

Temporary personality disorder?

The menopause.

Most women flop about for two years, but
oh no, she gets over it in two days.

Maybe that's what happened to you. An
early menopause brought on by an absence

of alcohol.

Alcohol's like your HRT.

Don't give a fuck what it was, as long
as it doesn't happen again.

That means you've got to keep drinking
on medical grounds.

Excellent. You're round.

Fuck off.

Well, I'm going to stop drinking right
now. I'm never going to have another

drink again, and I'm going to get Claire
to let me turn your bitch into a...

What was I going to turn your bitch into
again?

A nature reserve.

Fuck me, I was mental.

Yeah, that.

I'd like a pint, please.

Have you noticed?

This place hasn't changed at all.

They've actually stripped it out and
replaced everything with exact replicas.

What the fuck happened to you?

Martin's dad was waiting for me after
school.

Gee. Yeah.

Accused me of bullying his son.

And where is he?

I was inspiring him.

Tapping into reservoirs of hidden
potential, encouraging him to find his

express himself.

You listen to this.

Love doesn't have to hurt to feel good.

It's such a revelation.

With you, I can be myself and always
should. What the fuck?

Fucking little shit.

Oi, that's mine, you fat swat.

If you're waiting to be carried shoulder
high by grateful students, you'll wait

a fucking lifetime.

It doesn't happen. Never has.

Fuck them.