Original subtitles

I can't believe you both bring these in.

OK.

Four packs of cigarettes, 25 fags and two joints between them.

Three minutes of brandy, two vodka and a breezer, all empty.

Four porno mags.

And some pills.

What are they? I haven't a clue, but they don't have any smiley faces on. I

checked. They could be for a serious heart condition or something.

Who did you confiscate them from? Fuck knows.

First student to have a cardiac, we'll hand them back.

What's the book?

Improve your powers of communication.

Vince Costin was reading it in my class. Said he got it to improve his debating

technique. Soft one.

You think your debating technique needs improving, do you?

I was thinking of using it to improve my chat -up technique, actually.

Good thinking.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Yes, it's a fantastic idea.

I'm celebrating.

You've been celebrating all weekend.

I know.

It's good, isn't it?

Who's up for slammers?

Twist my arm.

And mine.

She's starting to worry me.

Oh, if you'd got rid of Alec, you'd be celebrating too.

True. Do you think we should offer to pay for this round?

Of course.

This is brilliant.

I found 20 pence on the floor, so I've got more now than when I came in. I

realised Jenny was that generous.

If we just keep reminding her how lucky she is to have got a shot of Alec, we

may never have to buy a drink again.

We'll have enough money to get a taxi to and from school.

I'm going to use Simon's bike, actually.

What for?

Get there.

What if I want to use the bike?

Well, you don't. I might. I was thinking about it before.

Only after I said about it. No.

Simon said I could have the bike, remember?

No, he didn't. Well, I'm using it tomorrow.

Well, toss you for it. I'm using it. No, you're not.

What do you mean?

You're not. I'm not?

No. No.

My office, please, as soon as you can.

How do I look?

Back in the same as you feel.

You all right?

Bit of a cold.

Tissues are there.

Afraid the English department are going to be pretty strapped from now on.

A supply teacher could have covered the majority of Simon's classes, but sadly

there's no long -term supply available, so it's down to us.

Look, with all due respect, Claire, there's no way we can cover all the

That's a bit defeatist, isn't it, Bob? I'm just being honest.

Well, try being honest and constructive.

What about Penny?

Penny? Do you think she's up to taking on more responsibility?

She's too inexperienced.

She's here to gain experience, isn't she? I don't think she's ready to take

full schedule.

She's been here long enough.

Hasn't she?

Just... Just what?

She hasn't covered all the ground.

What's been the problem?

No specific problems, just... You were mentoring her. Why isn't she ready?

I... Bob? I did think the penny was planned to fall behind.

When I suggested, perhaps I ought to step in.

OK.

I'll get her up to speed.

It's a lot of work.

Good.

Good?

Good.

You feeling settled here?

Yes. Comfortable?

Confident?

Yes.

Timetable.

You'll be taking over half of Simon's lesson, starting from today.

Welcome to full -time teaching.

Jenny's taking you back under her wing, and she'll be available for any advice

or support you may need.

Great. I've asked Liz to make sure all coursework data, worksheets and syllabus

information are to hand and to double -check that textbooks have been given

and are accounted for.

There's nothing like a plunge into the deep end.

Gee, whether you think or swim.

Bob?

Well, as you know.

we've been left with a staff shortage.

And the English department in particular will be stretched in the lead -up to

Christmas. So it's going to be a difficult few weeks.

All we ask is that people be flexible and available.

Now, I've had a look at the schedule, and there are a few sessions that you'll

need to cover from other departments. Where are you going?

I've got some prep to do, so I thought I'd get to the photocopier while

everyone's still here. I haven't finished. Then carry on. This doesn't

you, too?

I won't be available to do any cover, so I thought rather than sitting here

nodding at you, I'd do something more constructive with my time.

OK?

OK.

Right.

Kurt?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, you've got a nice round of free lessons here.

Let's see if we can't fill them up for you.

Why is it always me filling in for people?

Because you've always got the most free periods.

What's your walkover? How does JP get away with it?

It's all in here.

He has a clear idea of who he's talking to and what makes them tick.

He understands their hidden agendas.

Doesn't he just say no to anything he doesn't want to do?

There's that, too. You're not the only one with extra work to do. I've got to

sort Penny out.

The only way of getting through it is to focus on the end -of -day drinks. I've

stopped drinking.

Since when?

Since about 20 minutes ago.

You're not coming to the pub?

There are things to do. Like what?

It's the hangover talking.

Before Alec, what was the first thing you thought of when you thought of me?

Honestly. Good.

Arse.

And seriously scary person.

What about you?

Work. Exactly.

Exactly what?

I've let myself get distracted, and now I need to get back on track.

Well, getting back on track's overrated.

Looks like you'll have to get down a cash point, then.

Ego food's in short supply, yet in great demand.

And if you become a supplier of that food, then you will be in great demand.

It will command extra affection and attention.

How does that help me?

Start by telling Bob what an inspirational teacher he is and a

And you whack him with the fact you can't do the extra classes. Piece of

I can't tell you how much I wish I could see that working. Sadly, I... We'll

work with Jenny, too.

You tell her loads of nice things about yourself, then get her to come to the

pub and start buying the rounds again.

What nice things?

I can't get beyond you've got an incredible arse on you.

Jenny! Hey!

Is that a new outfit?

We saw you come in this morning and said that's... It's definitely a new outfit.

It's not.

It must be the way you carry it.

I like the way you're wearing your hair today, see? It's very well cut.

How are you feeling?

Right now, very, very wary. Whatever it is, the answer's no.

My neck's on the line as well as yours, so I warn you now, I'm going to be all

over you like a ranch.

Set a typical goal on how long you're willing to spend on each section of the

lesson, but be flexible enough to take on board discussion.

Make an impression from the off, not too severe, not too easygoing. Do yourself.

If you fake it, the students will see and take advantage.

Get the rest of the papers from the office and study them before the lesson.

that and you won't get caught out by a surprise question.

If you are, blab it.

Don't let them see you don't know what you're talking about.

I'll be in the class observing to begin with and I'll make notes about any areas

I felt were skated over or overlooked. Pick up what you need and be ready in 49

minutes to take the first path.

Oh, and above all, enjoy.

Penny pick up her worksheets.

What she's supposed to.

Claire asked you to look them out, which I did.

And Penny was supposed to get them from you, which she didn't. It's not

difficult to spot the weakest link in this chain, is it? She won't be fully

prepared at this rate.

We can only hold their hands for so long.

Sooner or later there comes a time we have to let them go.

Stand or fall on their own.

All powdered, primped and raring to go? I think so.

So are the kids, believe me.

Looking forward to the challenge.

Good.

Remember a couple of years back, we had an NQT in a similar situation, drafted

in at the last minute to take on a full schedule.

And they did all right?

I did hear that after several years of intensive counselling, she was allowed

back into teaching.

Do you have the worksheet?

Worksheet?

Carol's the one who knows where we've been now.

She's not here.

She's not on this planet since that boy's been on the scene.

I

look

them out and bring them down to your

class. Soon as you can.

Like the boss said, we all have to pull.

She'll be taking this class until the end of term, so I expect you to

with her.

Give her the same respect you gave Mr Casey.

Any trouble, he'll have me to answer to.

Over to you.

How about establishing what they were working on before with Mr Casey?

Right, good.

What were you working on before with Mr Casey?

Loneliness and the role of the outsider in Of Mice and Men, the dramatic impact

in Act Two, Scene Two, Macbeth, how humour is presented in The Importance of

Being Earnest, and female perspectives in The Poetry of War.

Right, good.

Which was your favourite?

Just say you're not prepared to do the extra work.

It might work for you, but my bollocks are being advised before I could say...

Listen, Bob, I don't know if you're clear about why you're refusing.

Why am I refusing? Because you don't have to do it.

He might need a bit more than that.

OK, just say, in order to do this job to the best of my ability, it means not

distracting myself with other things or spreading myself too thin in order to

cover other people's arses.

Simple. You're coming from the standpoint that I'm a good teacher,

That's where your plan falls down.

Right there.

Why Oscar Wilde?

He's funny.

Funny. Good.

What else?

A big bender.

Do you think that affected his work?

Well, you're the teacher.

You tell me.

What's so interesting with the rest of us, Natasha?

No. Was it relevant to what we were doing?

No. Sorry.

Then maybe you have the courtesy to shut up.

Right. Oscar Wilde.

We need to work on your basic lesson structure and presentation.

Also, how you deal with stress and anxiety in a classroom situation.

My preferred method is detached permit, coupled with a no -nonsense attitude

that says don't even think about messing with me.

We'll start by looking at your worksheets as soon as you get them. If I

them? You'll get them.

You've also overreacted to Natasha.

Did I? Why?

She recently found out that her mum's really her gran and her sister's really

her mum.

Well, how was I supposed to know that?

I assumed everyone knew.

Well, I didn't. Maybe if you'd have told me, I could have handled the situation

differently.

Start thinking about your next lesson.

There's a long way to go, but I think we can make it.

Where were those worksheets?

Oh, something cropped up. What, did Claire's pencil need resharpening?

Sorry? Or did someone run out of scrap paper?

What are you suggesting?

I'm not suggesting anything. I'm saying that you made sure I didn't get those

papers so that my first lesson would be a disaster.

I wondered who you'd lash out at first.

What? You can't possibly blame yourself for being crap, can you?

You forgot this.

What you're looking for is attention -grabbing headlines and articles you'd

to read.

What? Like how to get your boyfriend to slit his wrist?

Good. Five ways to mug a pensioner.

Yep.

Twenty excuses for not doing your schoolwork.

A quid each for the best five.

You're Claire. Trust me.

Why haven't you handed in those reports I asked for three days ago?

It's all part of a long -term plan.

What plan?

You're not seeing the big picture.

What big picture? You've got to stop seeing things in black and white. Life

about grey.

Hang on. You're not telling me why you haven't handed in the reports.

I know.

You deflect the question.

That way you never commit yourself to an excuse. No one can pin you down to

verify or check in on it.

It's not bad.

It's worth five quid.

Come on, one drink won't dismantle the whole rehabilitation process, will it?

What's the date?

I told that lot I'm off it. That was before a day spent dealing with a

adolescent fuckers.

She wants to stay focused and responsible.

What about your responsibility to us?

It's not just the kids that need your focus.

And this has got nothing at all to do with the fact that Jenny bought four

the seven rounds last night.

No. I can't believe you think we'd be so mercenary.

It won't be the same without Jenny, though.

If she's not going, I might not bother, actually.

Nor me.

Okay, okay.

But I'm only staying for one.

Ask me to do something for you.

Like what?

Anything work -related.

Can you download some information about the French Revolution for me?

Sorry, not in my remit.

Yes, it is.

Is it?

Well, you're in charge of IT, so it's bang on your remit.

Fuck.

When do you want them by?

Too easy.

What should I have said?

Ask me.

Can you download some info on the French Revolution for me? Sorry.

I'm having some trouble with the search engine at the moment. We're going to

have to relocate to another server and then double -check the whole system

against fault.

Oh.

She needs to get a plan in place and stick to it, you know?

Once she feels confident, she can branch out into other areas a bit more.

Is it just me or is everyone thirsty?

Fancy another?

I don't know.

It's your round. You know what it's like when you first start out. You feel like

nobody is listening to you.

What?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this shop thought?

And aren't I incredibly thirsty?

What about something else?

Like what? Our top ten ways of getting a shag. Sounds good.

You start. I'd love to, but I've got work to do.

Well, give us your top five now.

Top three?

I'll see you tomorrow.

She's definitely with Craig.

At least when Alec was around, she was too busy getting her brains banged out

worry about anything else.

Ah, she'll calm down soon. Things will go back to normal.

What if this is normal?

Then we'll just have dinner.

Did I wake you up?

Oh, yeah.

Just to remind you about the lesson plans.

If you could get them to me by the beginning of the day, then it'd be

I'm sorry, Claire. I'm going to have to take a rain check on cover this week. I

need to reboot the entire database on the school system and install new

packages in accordance with government guidelines.

Recently submitted to me by the local educational court.

What software?

Bullshit alert!

Bullshit alert!

Fuck.

That knows what time to get to the flat this morning.

She's obsessed with work. She doesn't want to come out drinking anymore.

We've lost her.

I think it's exciting and easy to initiate.

I'll let Jenny explain.

In principle, it's pretty straightforward.

It'll take the form of a simple classroom chart.

All we have to do is make a note of any student who's having problems, like

illness or a family break -up, jot it down on the chart and hand it in. This

information will then be collated and distributed amongst the staff.

It's just an expansion of what we're doing already.

Karen and Liz will be printing up the charts this morning, and I'm keen to

initiate it straight away. I know it seems like a lot of extra work.

You'd be amazed how quickly these things become just another part of school

life.

Oh, is that an Alec Allais telling me he's forgiven him, sonny Jenny?

I wish that even on Alec.

That'll go.

Please take your seat.

How could you leave the flat this morning?

Six -ish. Is there a six in the morning? The only way this idea can work is if

people take it seriously. I am taking it seriously.

I know you are, but can you keep an eye on the others? Make sure they don't piss

about and mess it all up. Me?

They listen to you.

What? Only when I say something they want to hear.

What the hell is Jenny on? Fuck knows. But make sure Kurt doesn't get hold of

any. She phoned me at half past seven this morning to remind me about lesson

plans.

Don't worry. She's got another crusade now. She'll have other things on her

mind.

I've got your year sevens later. Have you got any advice?

Go home sick?

Hot off the press.

Fill these out.

Hand them back to Cruella at the end of the day.

I'm pretty sure this isn't in my remit. Neither is being a lazy, incompetent

moron. But you manage that without too much trouble.

Sit down, shut up and log on.

Everyone okay?

No sexual harassment going on at home?

No victims of abuse? No relatives recently wiped out in a bungled bank

No?

Great.

Let's get on.

The thing about emotional trauma is how you come to terms with it. This process

is best done on your own or in private sessions with a trained professional.

However, if you wish it to be a matter of discussion and debate in the staff

room, then I'm here with pencil poised.

No one?

Okay.

Turn to page 147 in your book.

Salut.

Salut. Ça va?

Ça va bien.

Bon.

Morning.

Don't mind me.

Have we got you now, miss?

We're short staffed, so till the end of term.

Yes. But my mum said you're not a proper teacher.

Does she?

She said you're a trainee.

I'm an NQC, a newly qualified teacher, which makes me qualified.

And anyway, what did your mum know about me?

A lot.

Really? Well, I'm sure we're all interested to know exactly what. How

enlightening us?

I don't think it's a good idea. Oh, come on.

We're all fascinated, aren't we?

Whatever it is, I can take it.

OK. She thinks you're one of the worst trainees she's ever seen. And she's seen

a lot.

You're into astrology and star signs, which means you're a dizzy cow.

You've got a confidence problem, which makes you use people.

You're two -faced, with dyed hair, cat teeth, false breasts. OK.

I get the picture.

And then she threw me out.

I mean, show me a teenager who isn't dysfunctional, for that matter.

Catherine Timberlake.

What?

You asked for a teenager who wasn't dysfunctional. Catherine Timberlake.

But the very fact that at 16 she's not dysfunctional means she's totally

dysfunctional.

So we should be focusing on the normal ones?

That's where your serial killers will be coming from, believe me.

You think they've got matches?

Yep. You think we should say something?

Like what?

Like... Stop doing that. Are you taking any notice?

No.

Thank

you.

Where's yours?

I lost it.

What did tell?

When I was three, my mother left me outside a supermarket before I was sent

for trouble remembering anything trivial.

I need the chart.

Why? For the records.

This is bollocks.

Claire doesn't think so.

Thank you.

Rick Forrest couldn't do his homework because his dog ate his mum.

It was a terrible shock.

But I think he's coping.

Nothing. I made them promise to do something dysfunctional by this time

tomorrow.

She lost her school bag in a tragic

accident involving a runaway pram, a building site and a cement mixer. I'll

the finer details once they've chipped her off the foundation block.

Is no -one taking this seriously?

What is it?

Penny.

Can you ask her why she's been talking about me to Kayla?

Kayla. Tell her I don't have to talk to Kayla. She has two eyes, two ears, and

can make up her own mind.

Eyes, ears, and mind.

What have I ever done to you?

Nothing.

But you've wrapped everyone else around your little finger since you got here.

Look at Carol.

What about Carol?

The way you used her. Got her chasing after you. And you haven't.

You think you can get everything.

All you want by just batting your eyelids and looking vulnerable, don't

You're a conniving, manipulative little cow.

And the sooner Claire sees it, the better for all of us.

Carol, I hope I never gave you the impression that I was using you.

Thank you.

You think everyone respects you.

They only tolerate you because you hold the key to the stationary cupboard. I

mean, how sad is that?

Even Carol's only here because she has to be.

Given half a chance, you'd run a million miles, wouldn't you?

You're a nasty, vindictive, malevolent bitch and everyone hates you.

and someone be comforting her or something.

Go on, then.

I don't mean me.

Liz?

Is there anything we can... Liz has got a healthy supply of

tissues.

Maybe we could leave her for a bit.

Give her time to...

If you need anything... We'll be in the pub.

This can be reduced to tears. Anything can happen.

The world's gone fucking mental.

I told her she was a vindictive bitch and that we only tolerate a take of her

position on the school.

Well, if that's fair enough.

Um... Who is she?

Um... Gorgeous.

Now, just... No.

I don't want Bacardi and... Cork and... Not... Bye.

Fucking hell.

That's a real skill.

Drinking seven Bacardi's and crying at the same time. She didn't pay for any of

them.

You forgot something.

I thought you'd want to ride it.

I'm pissed. Can you take it? I can't be arsed.

Take the fucking thing.

I'm letting you have a go. I don't want to go.

Take it. I don't want it. You do. Don't. Do. Don't.

Leave it here then.

Right. I will. Fine. Fine.

So fucking childish.

Then

she

came down the pub, spent the whole evening in the toilet.

Didn't stop her necking seven double Bacardi's and six bags of peanuts,

She virtually had to be carried out.

Yeah. Started with a fight in the office, apparently.

Fight about what?

My guess is that Penny's feeling the extra pressure.

Penny? It was Penny who had the fight with her.

Why? I think she needed to let off steam, and Liz got in the way.

Why didn't she let off steam to me?

Probably because you're so wrapped up in this scheme of yours that everything

else fades into the background.

I thought you agreed that this scheme is important.

No, you assumed I agreed.

You don't think that getting to know the kids better would help us to teach them

more efficiently?

I think it'd put me off teaching them all together.

You said you were going to help me.

I am. People are still pissing around.

That's their prerogative.

Can you have a word with JP? See if you can't get him to... Can we talk about

this tomorrow?

Sure.

It's just that if we can get JP, Brian and Kurt on our side, everyone else will

fall in behind.

take off and would see real benefits in terms of students being more secure in

school environments.

And all the relevant research says that a secure student is a well -behaved,

productive student.

I mean, all it needs is some energy, enthusiasm from the rest of the staff.

You know, I mean, I thought that would be faithful. And I think Claire is going

to see how important this really is, which is what I find really exciting.

If we can get the basics in place, then we can start to tailor the world to

students' specific needs.

And if we can do that, we can begin to make a real difference.

I think that's really important.

He found his mum in bed with

a carpet layer and discovered that his dad was a cross -dressing tabaret act

called Madame Flamingo. Fuck, who's that?

Oh, I don't know.

I'll think to myself.

When I wonder what was missing from my working day, you remind me.

Firstly, any progress on finding out who set the locusts free from the biology

labs last week?

Yes, we're onto it. I caught Wayne Beasley slipping them into the salad

the canteen. Thanks, Bob.

Checking through yesterday's charts, I was amazed at the information uncovered.

I did notice, though, that some members of staff have decided to give their

imaginations a little exercise.

That's why I've decided to take it off its informal footing and place it firmly

at the centre of our working day. I want absolutely everything locked.

Anyone not taking it seriously will have to answer to me.

Fill in the charts.

List everything.

Even if you think it's insignificant.

Doesn't this seem like a huge waste of time? Give it a chance, you might even

get something out of it. Like what?

Any chance of those lesson plans?

I was going to do them this morning. I don't want excuses, I just want the

plans. Before class starts, preferably.

OK, ten quid to the person who comes up with the most original, dysfunctional

problem of the week.

You get extra points for using the words bearded uncle and chalet.

Isn't this how we got here in the first place?

What? If you hadn't taken the piss, then Jenny would have won to Claire, and

Claire wouldn't have put this at the centre of our working day.

You can't blame me.

Who do we blame, then?

I was just copying JP.

How are you?

We chat to three and then we'll discuss something.

Hi, thanks.

That I'm sorry.

Really?

About what I said, I was angry.

We both said things we didn't mean.

Life's too short to have disagreements with work colleagues.

So I thought maybe we should go out and have a drink or something.

You and me?

As a way of saying sorry to each other.

You never stop, do you?

What? You only say sorry to me, so I'll say sorry to you. Then everyone will

like you again.

I still think you're a manipulative cow.

You still think I'm a bitter old bag. So why don't we just be honest with each

other? I can see I'm wasting my time here. Oh, perceptive as well.

Never try and bullshit a bullshitter.

One 16 -year -old bedwetter and three single -parent families struggling on

benefits. I've got a child with trauma involving a gerbil and two kids in anger

management. You're really doing this to shame?

Yeah. And you know why? Why?

Because you're not.

Sorry? If you hadn't pissed around in the first place, then I wouldn't have

copied you. What?

Then Jenny wouldn't have gone to Claire and we wouldn't have to listen to some

spotty brat coming to terms with the onset of facial hair and his bollocks

dropping. So it's my fault?

Well, it's not mine.

Yes, it is. No, it isn't.

Why isn't it? Why isn't it? Because it is. Well, fuck you.

No, fuck you.

No, fuck you. Who cares whose fault it is? Look, it's easily sorted.

Do you ever get the feeling that nothing we invent could compare with what a 15

-year -old retard could come up with?

What did your mum say?

I told them no one was leaving until they made up one problem.

What's a hermaphrodite?

It's a man -lady type thing.

Which bit?

All of them.

Blimey. What the fuck is pugnophobia?

Fear of fear.

Fair enough.

Feeling

undermined

and undervalued due to a deranged secretary and an absent mentor.

Confidence at an all -time low. Need to talk about it now.

Is there someone in your class?

Yes. Me. I think you ought to see these. We have a problem. What?

The students are revolting.

Are they all from your class?

Yeah. I do feel there's a bit of exaggeration involved in some.

one about Richard Oakley's little brother being eaten by dwarfs. But, like

said, you want absolutely everything locked. However trivial, so...

Someone put them up to

me.

Johnny.

I've got to get these to Claire.

I know. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

For what?

For being another thing for you to worry about.

I'll try and get on on my own from now on. If I mess up, I'll let Claire know

that it was down to me, not you. What do you mean if you mess up?

Well, I know that I haven't been very impressive so far.

You've done all you can, so don't feel bad.

Follow me.

I really want to be a better teacher. I want to learn, but... What?

You've been really helpful with all your notes and stuff, but when I'm standing

there in front of the class, it's so hard.

The more you do it, the easier it gets.

It seems to be working the opposite way for me.

Right. Well, what can I do to help?

I was wondering if you could take a few of my classes while I sit and watch.

Show me how it's done.

Do your work for you, you mean?

I got off on the wrong foot. I want to start over, that's all.

And if I say no, are you going to cry again?

No, I just thought I'd hit you this time.

That'll make a nice change, then.

Let me take a look at your schedule.

Dawn?

What's this?

I've collated these, but these I'll have to work on overnight.

About 120 in each pile.

Jane Turnbull has ingrowing toenails and a lazy eye.

John couldn't tie his shoelaces because of an infected Whitlow.

Fell off heels at weekend and bruised insta. There are some more interesting

ones further down.

Separation anxiety, isn't there? Have we got a school full of foot fetishes?

I know there are a few time wasters, but there are some genuine problems here,

too, which warrant our attention.

If we put our heads together, I think we can probably get through them all in a

couple of hours.

You know I think this scheme's a great idea, don't you?

It is turning out to be a little labour -intensive.

I think it's worth it.

I've got annual reports coming up, and the Governor's need a detailed outline

my aims for next year.

What do you say?

I think it's best if we plan this thing a bit more carefully, don't you?

How about we put it on the back burner for a while?

Yes? Good.

When

you look at

this, Jenny's got a good point about communication within the school.

Oh, will you give it a rest?

Gather all the information you can about someone before you enter into a

dialogue. So knowing you're a dense northern twat helps me to tell you to

the fuck up about that fucking book.

Hostility is no way to conclude an argument.

To effectively win an argument, each person needs to feel good about the

outcome.

Compromise is not a dirty word.

Necessity.

Make sense?

Bollocks it does.

To win an argument, you have to crush the other person. Leave them with no

alternative but to agree with you.

Anyone need a drink?

Anyone not?

Loses.

Where?

Toilet.

Thanks for the warning.

What about the drink?

Some of the time.

Well, you could leave the money.

It's all self -suffering.

Hey, who's round is it?

Funny you should ask.

Go hard.

I'll get third.

Does no -one buy a proper round any more?

You're going to the bar. Mine's a triple.

What's up?

You'll all be pleased to hear.

You got your way.

Claire's put my scheme on the back burner.

Shit.

You don't have to pretend you're upset.

I'm upset for you, not the scheme. Well, it's been binned.

Why? The usual reason, lack of foresight.

I forgot to take into consideration the petty nature of people when asked to put

in a bit of extra effort.

That'll let you down every time.

Did you really think my scheme was a rubbish idea?

No, I knew it was a rubbish idea.

There is such a thing as knowing too much about people.

Especially 11 to 18 -year -olds. It's not an area that merits an in -depth

investigation. At least it didn't fall apart because of a lack of effort or

commitment on my part.

Maybe that's exactly why it fell apart.

What do you mean?

You're an obsessive. That's how you approach everything.

I don't.

With your work, it's all or nothing.

Then Alec came along and it was Alec or nothing. Then Alec went and now it's

work again.

You don't have to be the all -conquering superwoman all the time. You can just

be normal.

Do you think I'm an obsessive?

Let's take a vote.

Hands up who thinks Jenny's an obsessive.

I'm going to the bar.

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