Original subtitles

We're going to

find

our way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't find.

Two silver spoons together.

You have to...

Miami.

Sure looks beautiful, huh?

Look at the color of that water.

Look at that beach.

Look at those bikinis.

What a great college.

I can just picture us lying on the beach all semester long.

Yeah, I look so good with a tan.

Me too.

Are you sure you can't go to a college with us?

Yeah. I wish I could.

My Uncle Dexter says it's Harvard or nothing.

Bummer. All you can get there is a good education.

Well, all this fun in the sun is kind of making me thirsty. I'm going to get us

some Cokes.

Hey, you want anything, Fonz?

How about a new uncle?

Hey. Hey, bud, how goes the college search? Making any decisions?

Well, we narrowed it down to Hawaii and Miami.

You know, Rick, you might want to consider a college that has a little

offer than luau's and surfing.

Dad, wait a minute. All through high school, you told me to get good grades.

That way I go into college and have fun.

Well, yeah, there's nothing wrong with having fun.

Good. And besides, Dad, didn't you tell me I could pick my own college?

Well, yeah, but that's when I thought you were going to pick Whitley College.

Oh, Dad, not this again. Whitley is the dullest school on the East Coast.

It's an all -male college.

What's the matter with an all -male college?

It's a fine school, Rick.

Now, I'm not asking you to sign up without checking it out. Come on,

having an open house next weekend. You can go up there for a couple of days,

look the place over.

No thanks, Dad.

Rick, if you go to Whitley, you're going to be better prepared for your future.

You'll make friends you'll have the rest of your life.

You'll be better able to take advantage of your full potential.

We'll be driving around

campus in this.

You get into Whitley, you get into this.

Well, you know, Dad, I've always wanted to realize my full potential.

Gosh, you're getting smarter already, aren't you? Yeah.

Hey, Dad, let me have that brochure on Whitley. Oh, sure.

I'm just going to show it to Brad. Oh, of course. I understand. And Rick,

remember.

Edward Stratton.

You offered Rick a Porsche to go to Whitley?

Well, honey, I... That's a bribe. Okay, it's not a bribe. It's an inducement.

It's an incentive.

Okay, it's a bribe.

I thought we agreed to encourage Rick to pick his own school. Yeah, and he was

picking schools where the only majors they have are volleyball and chug -a

You're exaggerating.

Oh, honey, I don't want him to waste his years at college the way I did.

Out every night chasing after women.

You wouldn't believe some of the things I did.

Like what?

I don't remember.

Oh, boy, look at that time. Oh, no, you don't. You're not getting off that. Come

on. Who wants to go to Whitley College? I'd rather get a rash.

Brad, we have to be adult about this. I mean, don't you want to realize your

full potential?

If you guys go to Whitley, you won't be too far from Harvard.

He's right, and Harvard has a lot of pretty girls.

Yeah, but all of them are smart, and my stuff doesn't work on smart girls.

Now, did you pack a toothbrush?

Yes, Kate.

Extra underwear?

Why? He's only going to be here for two days.

Maybe we should get a motel room nearby.

Kate, you can't stay.

Do you see any other parents around here?

He's right, honey. Let's go.

Oh, okay.

Well, be careful, Rick. I will, Kate.

Nothing is going to happen.

You can count on it.

Goodbye, Rick.

Goodbye,

Brad.

Well, see you, Dad. See you, son. Now, this is a good college, and I want you

make a good impression, huh?

And remember... I

can't believe I let you

talk me into coming here. This place looks like a breeding ground for nerds.

Oh, come on, Brad. This place isn't that bad.

Hi. Isn't this place splendid?

Gentlemen. Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?

Hello. I'm Dean Stockwell, and I'd like to welcome you to Whitley College.

I'm sure you're all going to enjoy this special weekend.

This is an opportunity for you to look us over.

And for us to look you over.

Any questions?

Yes. Yeah, where are all the girls?

I'm sorry, but this is an all -male school.

However, we do have women attending the all -girls school down the street, Mount

St. Ignatius.

Are there any other questions?

Yes. How far down the street?

About a mile.

Any other questions?

Yes. Are any of them worth walking a mile for?

Since there doesn't seem to be any other questions, I'm going to turn you over

to our resident advisor in the dorm, Charles Bitterman.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, just a few rules for the weekend.

First of all, we will all eat together in the campus cafeteria.

Second, the dorms will be locked at precisely 11 p .m.

And third, we will have an orientation meeting tomorrow morning at 7 a .m.

sharp. Now, are there any more questions?

Yeah, do you hang a left or a right to get to Mount St. Ignatius?

So, what happened to your friend, Rick? He didn't have dinner with us.

Um, I really don't know. He kind of disappeared halfway through the tour of

library. Ooh, don't tell me he missed the card catalog lecture.

Was he stimulating?

Oh, Rick, why don't you come up to our place to watch a PBS special?

Gee, guys, I'm kind of bushed, you know.

I'm just going to take a shower and go to bed.

Well, okay, we'll tell you about it tomorrow.

Thanks, guys.

Goodbye. Bye.

Why am I here?

Now I remember.

Come

on

in, guys.

Well, this is it. Home sweet home.

You mean you've never been here before?

Well, I was under the bleachers once.

Really?

You guys?

Curls. Told you he was bright.

This is Rick.

Hi.

Hello.

Are you nuts, Brad?

You know the rules. No women are allowed.

Whoa.

I think you're cute.

Oh, yeah?

Ooh! I like your towel.

Bonnie and Sherry go to school down the street.

Ah, so you girls go to Mount St. Ignatius, huh?

No. No way.

They're from LBC.

Ah, LBC.

What school is that?

Larry's Beauty College.

Ah, Larry's Beauty College.

Yeah, we get a degree in six easy weeks.

Sally, give me a free shampoo.

Smell. I don't want to smell.

Hey, we could give you a freebie, too.

Ah, no, no thanks.

Brad, come here.

Brad, we're going to get into trouble.

Yeah.

I just want to make sure you fellas are... In your

dorm room?

You guys better have a good explanation for this.

Hey, you want a good explanation, well, you'll get a good explanation.

Good.

Tell him, Rick.

girls here were taking orders for Girl Scout cookies.

Girl Scout cookies.

Now, come on, fellas. You don't expect me to believe that story, do you? I

after all, what do I look like?

Don't say it.

All right, look, how about this? Come on, Brad. We've been caught.

I mean, look, we're men enough to own up to the truth, aren't we?

You're right.

They're our wives.

No, no, no. Come on, come on, come on, fellas.

You got your chips, you got your dips, you got your cold drink here. You guys

are having a party.

What? No, no, no, no. That's right, and you've got everything here except the

music.

I'll go get my stereo.

Who would have ever figured him to be a human being?

Hey, you want us to call a girlfriend?

Then why stop at one?

Okay.

Hi, Charles says you're having a... Oh, my goodness.

Hi.

What's your name?

Uh, Spencer.

Oh.

Well, Spence, the party hasn't started yet. But while we're waiting, I could

give you a freebie.

Oh, my goodness.

So, do you think Rick will like Whitley enough to apply?

Of course he will.

Wouldn't you if your father bribed you with a brand new Porsche?

You bribed him with a Porsche?

Well, uh... Edward, that's terrible.

I hope Alfonso doesn't find out.

All I promised him was a Mazda.

Listen to you two. Do you realize what you're doing?

Honey, he's got to go to college for four years. Why not a good one like

Whitley? Well, for one thing, it's an all -men's college.

I mean, that is not the kind of school for a boy like Rick.

I mean, I could just see him up there this weekend, moping around, having a

miserable time.

Um,

just one second.

Hey, guy, come on in here.

My name is Rick Stratton, and this is Everybody.

All right, send up another one.

Wait, wait, wait. Is this music too fast for anyone else?

Yeah.

All right.

Now, where...

What a surprise.

Yeah, well, we were just sitting around talking about you and kind of wondering

how you're doing.

Oh, oh, Dad, I'm doing just fine.

So you think you can get anything out of going to that college?

Oh.

Oh, yeah, Dad, without even having to try it.

Well, good. Here. Now, Kate wants to say hi.

Hi, Rick.

Now, tell me the truth. Does it bother you that there aren't any girls around?

Not a bit, Kate.

Oh, so they're keeping you pretty busy.

Oh, sure. I've got my hands full of Kate.

Well, you do sound tired. You better get right to bed.

Hello?

Did you drop the phone?

Oh. All right.

Good night, Rick.

Might I admit it, he sounded happy.

Good. I hope Alfonso's college experience isn't as much a turn -on as

Now, where were we?

Who is it?

Dean Stockwell.

Oh, it can't be Dean Stockwell.

Charles says it can't be Dean Stockwell.

It is.

I've just come by.

Oh, great.

Just great.

Hello, sir.

Well,

sir, what can I do for you?

I'd like to come in and have a little chat.

You know, my room is such a mess.

Oh, I've seen messes before.

Not like this one.

The purpose of this weekend is for us to get to know one another.

And you can take my word for it, the faculty will be with you every step of

way.

And then in our senior year, you see, things get really exciting. It's just

one exam after another.

Oh, hello there, Dean Stockwell.

I was just giving the potential students here a little rundown on academic life

here at Whitley College. Excellent.

Well, oh, my, my, would you look at that time. I guess I better get going.

Yeah, me too.

Ditto.

Well, sit down, Richard.

Let's talk.

Okay.

I just said, oh, oh, man, I'm bushed. You know, walk around this great big

campus of yours.

Oh, well, I'm glad you like it. Did you know our campus was designed by Thomas

Jefferson?

Really? That is interesting. Rick, isn't that interesting?

That's immensely interesting, sir.

Oh, yes. The history of this campus is a fascinating story.

The original surveying was done by George Washington himself back in

1761. The property had been purchased from the Seneca Indians for something

considerably less than today's market prices.

Now, the campus buildings were erected in 1763, except for this new building,

which was built in 18...

What

was that?

Well, it's just so chilly in here, I decided to close the window.

Oh, good idea. We've been having problems because of open windows.

Oh, do you mean burglars?

Oh, no, no, no, no. Nothing like that.

There's so much ivy climbing the walls that we've been having problems with

mice.

Let him tell you what happened.

Rick, what happened?

Tell her. Go on, tell her.

I'll tell you what happened.

He got kicked out of Whitley College.

How could you get kicked out of college before you get in?

Tell her. Go on, tell her. How could you get kicked out?

I'll tell you how he got kicked out.

He had girls in his dorm room.

Oh, no.

He had a golden opportunity to attend one of the best universities in this

country, and he blew it.

He let Whitley College down.

You let us down, you let yourself down.

Does this mean I don't get the Porsche?

Uh, Edward, uh, I think you're being unrealistic to expect Rick to spend four

years in some monastery.

Well, she's got a point, Dad.

And, Rick, you're being unrealistic, thinking you can spend four years in

party school.

She's got a point, Rick.

But there has got to be a compromise.

Now, Rick will pick out a school that offers a good education and offers some

occasional fun.

Right?

Sounds fair.

Okay. Okay.

All right.

And I'll tell you what.

You do get yourself into a college that has a more well -rounded curriculum.

And it's within driving distance.

Yeah? You've got yourself a nice used Chevy.