Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, at the foot of the school.

Open, fine, two of a kind.

Making it go, making it grow.

Together, we're going to find our way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't find.

The two silver spoons together.

I got to tell you, that was the best speech I ever gave.

Brad, you're not going to become student council president by telling people

you're a good kisser.

I got Nancy Kellner's vote.

Look, Brad, I don't have time for this, all right?

My mom is going to be here any minute. When I agreed to become your campaign

manager, you said you would stick to the issues.

And I have.

Brad, co -ed locker rooms are not an issue.

I got the football team's vote.

Come on, Brad, we have 24 hours till the election. Can we get to work?

Yeah, you're right.

I really want my acceptance speech to be good.

If I were you, I'd worry more about Peter Hastings' acceptance speech.

You think that wimp can beat me?

Hey, what does he have that I don't have?

An intelligent platform, a 4 .0 grade point average, and he's star of the

basketball team.

Yeah, but can Peter Hastings do this?

We don't know yet. Rick's mom is dropping by on her way from the airport,

might all eat out. Or maybe we'll eat in. Or maybe we'll... Like I figured,

be the last to know.

Hi. Hi.

Notice anything different?

Oh, gee, I hate questions like that.

You got your hair cut?

No.

You shaved off your beard.

Look at me, Edward.

I am not nervous about your ex -wife's visit.

Hey, good for you. Yeah, I made up my mind. I'm going to remain calm, cool,

collected. And I owe it all to Haji Rahaji.

Gesundheit.

No, Haji's my yoga instructor.

I know that.

Now, you really think you're going to keep Evelyn from upsetting you simply by

closing your eyes and going, Amo?

Since I started meditating, I am able to control my emotions no matter how

stressful the situation.

She's here.

She's here.

I'll be all right.

Let her in.

Evelyn. Katie.

Evelyn?

Let me hang this up for you.

So, Evelyn, what brings you to town?

I'm here on business. Business?

Buying out Bloomingdale?

Edward, stop that. Women like to buy pretty clothes.

Not all of us.

Excuse me, I'll let Rick know that you're here.

Evelyn, you are unbelievable.

I know.

Um... Um... I'm gonna kill her.

Don't you want to know why I'm in New York? I have a feeling you're about to

tell me.

I'm here because I wrote a book.

You wrote a book.

Yeah, the only thing I ever saw you write was a check.

There's that Stratton wit again.

So, what is this masterpiece about? The history of the American Express card?

No. It's what the critics call a torrid romantic novel.

Really?

It's about a woman like me who's sensitive, kind, and caring.

Fiction, huh?

Part of it.

But I drew a lot from personal experience.

Oh.

See, it's the story of a beautiful young socialite and her stormy relationship

with the irresponsible son of a rich industrialist.

Like me?

A lot like you.

You did say this was fiction.

Did I?

So you're in town seeking potential publishers, knocking on doors, seeing if

anybody will read this thing, huh?

The book's coming out in two days.

Two days?

Like in the day after tomorrow?

That's right.

I'm just here to do a little book signing.

Oh.

Uh, Evelyn, this character in the book, the...

irresponsible son of a rich industrialist.

What happens to him?

Oh, he gets just what he deserves.

I hate books like that.

Hey, you're here.

Richard.

I'm going to go see how Kate's doing.

Hi, Mr. S.

Great to see you, Mom.

It's great to see you, too.

Oh, Mom, this is Brad Langford.

Hello, Brad.

Hi. Hey, would you like to wear one of my campaign buttons?

Another broad for Brad.

Brad. Yeah?

Go home.

Honey, don't you see? The book is about Evelyn and me and our glorious six -day

marriage. Oh, Edward, I think you're letting your imagination run wild. Not

wild as Evelyn's. She can say things about me.

About my personal habits.

My little quirks.

Our honeymoon.

What about your honeymoon?

Nothing.

I gotta get a look at that book.

Dad! Dad, come in here!

Hey, Dad, look at this. Mom wrote a book. She's got her picture on the back

everything.

That... It's really terrific, son.

Toss that over here a minute, huh?

Why, Edward, you wouldn't want to take my only copy.

Of course not.

But you will let me read it, won't you? Of course.

Just as soon as it's in the store.

Well, Dad, don't feel too bad. Mom says I can't read it till I'm 21.

Look at the time. This has been fun, but I must be off to my hotel.

You're not leaving yet, are you? God, you just got here.

I mean, hey, Rick's been looking forward to this visit.

Rather than disappoint him, why don't you stay here tonight?

What?

Evelyn wants to visit with Rick, right?

Well, I suppose I could stay for one night.

Wonderful.

Terrific. I'll get your luggage and take it upstairs.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Yeah, I'll take your book. Your bag.

You need your briefcase, huh?

No, Edward.

You've done more than enough for me already.

Hey, Dad.

Morning, Kate.

Dad, are you okay?

You look like you didn't sleep at all last night.

Oh, I had a few things on my mind.

Yeah?

What sort of things?

I'll tell you when you're 21.

Aren't you late for school?

Yeah, I've got to go. I have to write Brad's speech.

You know, Dad, it's not easy keeping all the words down to one syllable.

Good luck.

Yeah, you too.

Edward, you tossed and turned all night long.

Well, you wouldn't sleep either if somebody wrote a book about you.

Aren't you overreacting? I don't know. I haven't read it yet.

The time is running out.

Oh, listen to yourself. You're letting Evelyn get to you. You've got to know

to handle her. Oh, and how do you do that?

Good morning.

Goodbye.

Good morning, Edward.

Did you sleep well?

Like a baby.

Safe and sound.

Good. Well, I'm off to meet my publishers.

They're trying to get me on a talk show.

Talk about the book?

Yes. In detail.

So, how do I look?

Ah, great.

That outfit makes you look very mature.

Mature? I'll be right back.

I'm sure they're not.

I'll see you at work.

Okay, honey, I got a few things to do here first.

Edward,

I looked in the mirror and I looked back.

Oh, sorry, my mistake.

I hope all my readers are as anxious as you are.

Baby, baby, baby.

Marie.

What are you doing home?

I came home to take a nap.

In the middle of the day?

I guess it pays to be the boss.

Evelyn's not here.

Okay, I'll take a message.

Mm -hmm.

Tell her she's definitely booked on the Oprah Winfrey show.

Yes, I will give her the message.

Oprah Winfrey.

Now the whole country's gonna think I'm a jerk.

Yes, it's all true.

Isn't that awful?

Isn't that just pitiful?

I want to thank you for letting me tell my sad story to your millions and

millions of viewers.

Uh -huh. Now, this ex -husband of yours, is he still at large?

Oh, yes.

He's the chairman of the board of Eddie Toys.

I don't think anybody's going to buy any of Eddie's toys anymore, or your

audience.

Now, tell us some more about this turkey.

Well, he's an extremely private person who lives at 123 Mockingbird Lane,

Shallow Springs, Long Island.

And he hates getting phone calls at 555 -9898.

That's area code 516 -555.

9 -8 -9 -8.

Anybody gonna forget that number?

And all these terrible, nasty, horrible things happened to you in just six

days. That's right.

Six worst days of my whole life.

And the night.

Well, you read the book, so you know about the night.

taking a live look at this despicable creature, Edward Stratton.

It took a little sweet talking, but we got him here.

All right, throw that scum out here.

Well, Mr. Stratton, I suppose you'd like to tell your side of the story.

As a matter of...

She was awful.

Who was awful?

Oprah Winfrey.

You dream about Oprah Winfrey?

So do I.

What is she wearing in your dream?

It wasn't that kind of dream.

It wasn't even Oprah.

It was Marie.

You dream about Marie? So do I.

It was crazy, Dex. It was all about Evelyn's book.

You mean this book?

Yes, that book. Where'd you get that?

Well, it's from a client of mine who knows the publisher.

Have you read this?

Have I?

Twice.

And you know, there's a character in here that bears an amazing resemblance

you. Oh, great. It's a pack of lies, Dex. There's not a shred of truth in

book. You mean you're not the greatest lover in the world?

Let me see that.

I underlined the good part.

And you know, Evelyn's not a bad writer.

She stared at her with eyes that spelled danger.

Gosh, I never knew Evelyn was so perceptive.

Wait until you see page 49.

I got it.

Hey, Brad.

How'd the election go?

Not too good.

Look, Brad, you'll get over it. Everybody loses now and then. Loses?

I won.

Well, then why so miserable?

Do you know that the student council has to meet after school every day?

Well, I... I just wanted to come by and say thanks a lot for destroying my whole

life.

Oh, hi, Brad. How did the election go?

I'd stay and tell you, but I'm late for a meeting.

Oh, where's your father?

I have no idea. Last time I saw him, he was trying to take a nap on the couch.

Oh, how did he look?

Terrible. He looked worse than he did last month when he had the flu.

Well, the flu is easy to get rid of. It's going to be a lot harder to get rid

of. Hello.

Mom.

How did the publishers go?

Wonderful. They're doubling the printing.

And talking about a movie.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Rick, don't you have some homework to do?

Kate, if you want to talk to my mom alone, just ask him to go upstairs.

All right. Will you please go upstairs?

Fine. I had homework to do anyway.

You're having fun today, Evelyn.

Yes. I can hardly wait to see the expression on Edward's face.

You're really enjoying yourself, aren't you?

You're making Edward's life miserable.

Really.

Thanks to you, he can't eat, he can't sleep, and he can't... Well, never mind.

And all because of what he thinks you said about him in that book of yours.

Well, the book is not about him.

It's not?

Look, the character happens to be a fantastic, romantic, continental

lover. Oh.

So it couldn't possibly be Edward.

Fun is fun, but you've got to tell Edward that the book is not about him.

Kate, I've got to pack.

Evelyn?

Oh, all right. I promise I will tell him before I go.

Thank you.

Because I'm really concerned about how worried and depressed he is.

Ma chérie.

Edward?

Don't talk.

You read the book.

I glanced at it.

Oh, Edward.

Forget the book.

Look at these.

Tickets.

To a Broadway show this weekend, after which we check into the plaza.

Maybe have a...

A candlelit dinner.

Oh.

Maybe some romantic music.

Come to think of it, forget the show.

Yeah.

Plus, of course, you have other plans.

Oh, well, if I did, I'd change them.

I hate to break this up.

Oh. But I must be off to my hotel.

Edward's taking me to the Plaza Hotel this weekend.

Good. I'll be at the Waldorf.

Yeah, I'll be in traction.

By the way, there's something I must make clear to you, Edward.

No, there is nothing that you have to make clear.

What do you want to make clear? Nothing.

But don't you want me to... No.

Oh, Edward, sweetheart.

Why don't you help Rick take Evelyn's bags out of the car?

No problem.

Oh.

Baby.

Would you mind explaining why you stopped me from telling the truth to

Well, it's very simple, Evelyn.

Edward got a copy of the book, and he was so thrilled to think that he was the

hero, well, I couldn't hurt his feelings.

And?

And I'm dying to spend a romantic weekend at the Plaza Hotel.

Why, Kate, that's the most sly, devious, underhanded thing I've ever heard.

There's hope for you, yes.