Original subtitles

Thank you.

To learn all about those things you just can't find.

To build a boat together.

You and I together.

We're going to find our way.

cheated. You pulled on my coat in the driveway.

What about you? You slammed the car door on me. You hit me with your briefcase.

And you tripped me coming up the stairs. Don't change the subject. We're talking

about you.

Start cooking dinner.

I ain't cooking dinner.

Remember, you gotta eat what I cook.

Hey, guys, what's going on?

Oh, Kate is trying for the worst sportsman of the year award.

Guys, you're always kidding.

You're always happy.

What a pleasure it is to be near you. I am so lucky.

Gee, thanks, Rick.

How much?

This much.

Oh.

Let me remind you, that is less than one billionth of one percent of the gross

national product.

I got that from my math teacher.

What on earth do you need?

Oh, sure.

It's a student film contest. The top five get shown on television in a prime

-time special.

On national TV?

Well, it's more like Long Island TV, Channel 6.

But this big -time Hollywood director, he's doing the judging.

Why does it cost so much money to enter this contest?

Oh, no, no, Dad.

That's how much it'll cost to make my film.

I worked out the budget in film class.

Let's just turn in that documentary made on Kate's cat. You got an A -plus on

that. Well, they're looking for something a little more exciting than

Dad, this is important to me. Film is my life.

I didn't know that.

Yes, Kate.

And if I want to get anywhere in this business, I've got to enter context.

That's how Stevie Spielberg started, Dad.

That's what you said about Chuckie Norris when you wanted karate lessons.

You broke a board in front of a girl and quit.

Dad, she's the one that broke the board.

That's why I quit.

Well, let's not forget that deluxe professional drum set that we all enjoy,

Dusty. Dad, if you give me the money, I promise to get straight A's for the rest

of my life.

And I will never, ever, never put you in an old folks' home.

How can I refuse an offer like that?

All right, honey.

I'll give him a check for... That's great, Dad.

I'm going to go call Brad and Alfonso. This is so great.

Oh, what's your movie about, anyway?

Just think of Fellini with a hint of Bergman.

The story of love, courage, and the human condition.

You can get all that into one film?

Sure. As long as I don't go over two minutes.

I've looked over the script and I made a few cuts. Now we're down to three main

characters. The wandering poet, the vulnerable, sensitive schoolteacher, And

disenchanted duck.

I don't know if I'm right for the duck.

Please don't start with me, Alfonso.

We're having enough trouble as it is finding someone to play the school

I just don't understand why we can't get anyone. We're offering them a chance to

be in a movie.

Hey, look.

Jessica Winter.

You haven't asked her yet?

Yeah, she's great.

I saw her do Romeo and Juliet in a senior play.

No one even laughed at us.

Let's get it.

Guys, guys, calm down. Let's not look as desperate as we are.

Look, let me handle this.

Now, Jessica, do you want to be in a movie?

Give me a break.

No, I'm serious. I'm making a movie. It's going to be on TV.

TV? Yeah.

This role, you'd be perfect for it.

It's something you could really sink your teeth into.

Would I get to cry?

Fuck it.

Listen, why don't you come to our table and we'll talk about it. Sounds

terrific.

You know Alfonso.

And this is Brad. He'll be your co -star.

Hey, babe.

Forget it.

Jessica, wait. What's wrong?

Look, Dick. I'd love to be in your movie.

Just get rid of Brad.

I can't do that to a friend.

No way.

We're lost.

Jessica? Rad, you're fired.

No, no, not the duck.

Rick,

what are you doing? It's four o 'clock in the morning.

I'm editing the goodbye scene.

You have school tomorrow.

Today. I know, but this is when I do my best work, Dad.

Well, it's when I do my best sleeping.

Please, just a few minutes more. Come on, son, you're exhausted.

No, I'm not. Yes, you are.

You just edited your pajama string into the film.

You're funny, Dad.

Rick, are you going or do I have to carry you?

Okay. Okay, I'm going.

Good night, son.

Good night.

Did you love it?

Well, um, uh, uh,

Edward?

You first, Kate.

Well,

I thought it was, um, different.

Really different.

Oh, that's what I was going for. Great. Wow.

What'd you think, Dad?

Uh, well, um... Come on. Be honest now.

Okay. Well, you know the fan... at the beginning there? The title.

Yeah, yeah. You know, I thought they were very original.

Really? Yeah, the same with the ending.

The credits. Yeah, really nice.

I agree.

Boy, what a relief. I'm glad you liked it.

Wait a minute. What about all the stuff in between?

That I had some problems with.

Well, what do you mean, Dad? What was wrong with it?

Nothing, nothing.

I didn't understand it.

You didn't? I thought it was me.

What's not to understand? It was a commentary on man's inhumanity to man.

I thought it was about a duck.

Dad, that was a thimble. I used tons of thimble.

Well, did you like the story?

Story?

Was there anything about my film you liked?

Pick up something. I'll be upstairs.

What kind of father am I? I couldn't even think up a good lie to tell him.

Well, he asked you to be honest.

Yeah, just like you asked me to be honest about your singing lessons.

I asked you to be honest, not brutal.

I hope he's not too upset.

Oh, don't be silly.

He's not upset.

Maybe a little.

Drop these.

Thanks.

I guess that's what you filmmakers call a statement.

Dad, I'm not a filmmaker anymore.

I've decided to become a crossing guard.

Sit up, son.

Let me tell you a little story.

This is about the first toy I ever invented.

What, have I told you this before?

No.

But you probably thought your toy was going to be a huge hit. Then you

it, no one bought it, and you weren't a hit to your fourth try.

Sure I haven't told you?

Dad, look, no offense, but the little story stopped working a couple of years

ago. I'm not a little kid anymore.

Could have fooled me.

Well, look at yourself.

A little criticism, you fall apart. I can't believe you're going to give up

because I'm not crazy about your film.

I'm not. I'm giving up because you were right, Dad. It was a bad film.

It was worse than that. It was bogus, abstract, boring, black.

I wouldn't say black.

Dad, after seeing that...

I wouldn't even trust myself with an Instamatic camera.

Oh, come on, son. You're being hard on yourself.

You showed a lot of talent.

How about those opening credits? I told you I liked them. Must have been hard to

put together.

Brad did those.

Oh.

I knew what I should have done.

I should have kept it simple and short, without all the thimbles.

I'll buy that.

I should have made more of a classic kind of film.

After all, I'm studying the masters.

Chaplin, Keaton, Stallone.

You're kidding, Dad. Just kidding.

Well, why don't you do it?

Do what?

Make another film for the contest.

You mean write it, cast it, shoot it, edit it by the day after tomorrow?

Why not?

Dad, it took me three days to learn how to load the camera.

Son, winners never quit and quitters never win.

Well, what I mean is when the going gets tough, tough, get going.

What I'm trying to say is at first you don't succeed.

How many of these do you know?

Look, I'll help you out.

Kate will pitch in, so will Brad and Alfonso. What do you say?

Well, I guess it's possible.

Well, come on. You're going to have to be more positive than that.

Okay, I'll do it. All right!

Come on!

What do I do first?

Make out another check.

Places, everyone.

Excuse me.

Am I the assistant director or not?

That is more like it.

Places, everyone.

Daddy, you ready?

Yeah, just a second.

Dad, we're waiting. Okay, just a minute. I'll be right there.

Actors.

Okay, now. Let's do it.

Quiet!

And when I yell snow, I want you to start sprinkling.

Ready?

And action.

Oh, I'm sorry, son, but I know you only have so much film. I don't want you to

waste it. I have a great idea.

Can we save it for the sequel, Dad? We're running out of time.

But my idea will make a profound statement on the human condition, son.

make your film meaningful.

Dad, I don't want it to be meaningful.

I just want it to be fun.

Directors.

Okay.

Now let's do it for real.

Ready?

And action.

No, Keith.

I still think we should have used my idea.

Dad, it's a student film. I couldn't use your idea. It would have looked too

professional. Oh, not with that acting.

I mean, well, it's obvious that you're an amateur.

I mean, uh, excuse me, but I have to put snow back in the box.

You know, guys, I can't thank you enough.

Giving up your weekend on such short notice, working like dogs.

You guys are really friends.

Hey, it was our pleasure.

Yeah, don't mention it, Rick.

I kind of like that one, too.

I like the special effects.

What special effects?

Anybody can build an Empire State Building out of matchsticks and set it

fire. How'd they get that monkey to eat it?

I still think Rick's will be much better. I hope it's on next.

Oh, it better be. It's the last one.

Hey, so what?

The only thing that matters is when the going got tough, I didn't quit.

I went on to make a film that I can be proud of.

I don't care whether they pick mine or not.

I think he may have learned something from all this.

Hey, look, the next film's coming on. Please let it be mine. Please.

Welcome back to the First Annual Young Filmmakers Festival.

And now for our fifth and final film.

Please, please.

An homage to the silent film that uniquely... expresses man's

survive in a hostile technological environment.

Too bad, Rick.

Yeah, tough break.

We are pleased to present Rick Stratton's Vacant Lot.

Like I said, I only want to make meaningful films.

a student film shown on local television in the biggest city in the world to

millions and millions of people.

Speech! Speech! Speech!

Well, okay.

I would like to thank the Academy for this award. No! No!