Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons.

Hoping to find we're two of a kind.

Making it go, making it grow.

Together, we're going to find our way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't.

Together, you and I, we're gonna find our way.

You and I together, we're gonna find our way.

You and I together.

I hate biology.

They're always showing you pictures of people with their skins off.

Take a look at this heart in a jar.

Yuck.

It says here this is an example of cardiovascular disease.

It says this disease is easy to prevent if you watch your weight, don't smoke,

and get plenty of exercise.

My Uncle Dexter does all those things. My dad does, too.

Except he hates exercise.

You see, he's got this theory. The less you use your body, the longer it's going

to last.

Put it down. Put it down. Put it down. Put it down.

I thought you wanted this upstairs.

I did.

But you know, I think it looks perfect right there.

Need any help?

Well, now that you mention it... No, no, there's nothing to it. Shall we?

How come you always give me the heavy end?

Do you see what I mean?

Dexter was hardly breathing.

My dad was puffing away like a steam engine.

Don't judge anybody by my uncle.

He's a fanatic.

He's training for the race with eagles.

Race with eagles? What's that?

Next month they're having a race up the steps of the Empire State Building.

86 stories.

Why?

To raise money.

It's to preserve eagles.

And kill people?

I hope not. He's making me run with him. The two of you running together?

Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe I can get my dad to exercise that way.

Dad, you love birds, don't you?

Yeah. Except right after I've had my car washed.

Wouldn't you hate to see the bald eagle go the way of the hula hoop?

You mean hanging in our garage?

Dad. Sorry.

I guess I'm as concerned about our national emblem as the next guy.

Good. Because I want you to raise money for the bald eagle by running up the

stairs of the Empire State Building.

Couldn't I just send him a check?

It's not the same thing.

Here's a chance to do something patriotic for your country and something

yourself at the same time.

You mean kill two birds with one stone, huh?

What's in this deal for me?

Well, you'll get in shape.

I mean, I'm in shape.

Can you do this?

Dad, the race isn't for a month. I'll help you get in shape. I know some stuff

about training from soccer.

Well, son, see, the thing is, a man reaches a certain age where trying to

his body in shape is pretentious.

We can run this race together.

Dexter and Alfonso will be in it. What do you say? Come on.

I'll tell you what. I'll think it over, and I'll get back to you.

That always means no.

Well, in this case, it means maybe.

After all, I do care about wildlife.

It's not wildlife I'm worried about.

It's your life.

You know what Rick wants me to do?

Enter a race up the Empire State Building.

The inside or the outside?

Where do kids come up with these crazy ideas?

Yeah, crazy.

It's funny how kids think their fathers are so fantastic that they can do

anything. What, you don't think I can do it?

I used to be a competitive skier. Big deal.

That was downhill.

I think what Uncle Harry is trying to say is that you haven't skied

competitively for a long time.

Dad, you going to enter the race?

I might.

Oh, you're not serious about this, are you? Sure I am. Come on, there's some

spring left in the old legs, huh?

After spring comes the fall.

I'm going to do it.

Great.

Well,

at least get a checkup first.

Okay, I'll go down to the medical center first thing tomorrow.

When you get on there, do yourself a favor. What? Take the elevator.

That was terrific.

Now, don't you feel great?

No.

All we've got left to do is the stairs.

Oh, yeah, the stairs.

My favorite part.

Come on.

Okay.

I can't believe it.

I'm going to race up 1 ,575 of these.

It'll be fun, Dad.

No, it won't, Rick.

Come on.

Ready?

Okay. Go.

Okay, that's enough.

Uh -uh, you still have to go through the proper cool -down exercises.

Right. Yeah.

This is my cool -down exercise.

Now, come on. If you're going to do this, you're going to do it right.

It's all yours, coach.

Oh, no.

Not the Terminator.

Oh.

Okay,

now.

Just watch me.

Okay.

Are you watching?

I may be tired, but I'm not dead.

And then over, flat back, all the way down, and hang.

Won't do any good if you bend your knees.

Do you mind?

Well, you're just cheating yourself.

You're doing fine.

You deserve a reward.

I'll go get you some orange juice and desiccated liver powder.

Be still, my stomach.

Did I ever tell you about One Punch Murphy?

He had to fight for the middleweight championship of the army against a guy

years younger.

He was an underdog, just like you are.

And this story has a point, right?

One Punch worked out day and night, just like you're doing.

I hope this has a happy ending.

No one thought he had a chance.

2 ,000 people in the stands just waiting to see him fail.

And you know what happened?

What? He got cold -cocked with the very first punch.

And that's how he got his name, One Punch Murphy.

Thanks for the pep talk, Harry.

Hey, you know something? I feel pretty good.

Huh? My head is clear. My lungs are strong.

I feel great.

Here's to the race with eagles.

48 hours to blast off.

Uh -oh.

What? What?

What are you looking at?

My neck is stuck.

Stuck neck? Nothing to it. I'll use the Lowenstein maneuver.

Oh, that's much better.

Are you all right?

No, honey, I can't move. Would you call the doctor, please?

Harry,

what'd you do to him?

Don't blame me.

Blame Lowenstein.

I came over as soon as I heard. How is he? Well, the doctor said it could be a

lot worse.

But he'll be all right, won't he?

It's been like that all morning.

What are you doing?

Leg lifts.

Wait a minute.

99.

100.

Are you insane?

Isn't it bad enough you've got...

What have you got?

There's absolutely nothing the matter with me.

Of course there isn't. You'll just be the only runner at the race who uses

handicapped parking.

All I had was a slight muscle spasm. Doctor gave me a little shot and told me

wear this for a day. This thing will be gone by race time, which is... 23 hours

away.

Listen, I'm going to leave you to this insanity.

Here, I bought you a Merlin Olsen tough guy bouquet.

Tough guy bouquet?

I'll put it in some hard water.

Well, there's a lot to be said for your perseverance, but I'll be polite and

keep my mouth shut.

I'll see you on the observation deck.

Did you talk any sense into him? I tried, but that neck brace seems to have

off all circulation to his brain.

He's non -compass mentis.

What's that?

Wacko.

Can we talk?

Sure.

Can we talk with you standing still? Oh, I can't stop now, Rick. What's on your

mind? I'm asking you, as your son, don't go through with this race.

And I'm telling you, as your father, butt out.

Excuse me, I have stair work to do.

I know why you're doing this.

It's because Uncle Harry called you a wimp, isn't it? No, of course not.

He called me a wimp?

Well, I hope you're not doing this for me.

I'm not.

Oh, I'm doing it for myself.

Yourself? What kind of reason is that?

It's personal.

Oh, sure.

If I want to get my ear pierced, then we can talk.

But you can run around this house like a maniac in a neck brace.

Then it's top secret.

Sit down, son.

Never mind, son. Stand up.

I've never told anybody this before in my life.

Then it really is a secret?

When I was at Aspen Junior College, I was on the ski team.

That's all?

No, there's more. Our last meet of the season was with our arch rivals,

Boulder School of Broadcasting.

It was down a ski run they called the Dreaded Kamikaze Cliff.

That sounds rough.

And see, a few days before the meet, I was gargling and my neck got stuck.

Oh, you've had this neck thing before, then. That's right.

And I told the coach I couldn't race.

Of course you couldn't. You had a bum neck.

The problem wasn't here.

The problem was here.

What was the matter?

All these years, I've wondered if I didn't just chicken out.

Dad, you'd never do that.

I don't know.

I think I was afraid I couldn't handle that mountain.

Then don't think about it.

Can't help it.

I think about it every time I gargle.

So, this is like a second chance for you.

You want to race with eagles to prove you're not a chicken.

That's right.

And this time, I'm going to make it.

Go get them, Dad.

Do you really think it's a midlife crisis?

Classic case.

It could be worse.

He could be out there chasing floozies.

Floozies? You know, bimbos.

Great news.

He's dropping out. Nope. He's gonna race.

Hot dog.

The bet they're on.

What bet?

Oh, I've just been making a few friendly wages with the gardener and the pool

man. Folks like that, you know. Oh, I can't believe that they would bet

Edward. They aren't.

You're betting he won't win?

No, I'm betting he won't make it to the 60th floor.

If Edward goes in that race, he'll make it to the top.

You're talking out of love and loyalty.

If you weren't my favorite niece, I'd take your money.

I'll bet you $50.

Nope. It's against my ethics and principles.

A hundred.

You're on.

Did you see how tall this building is?

And it's all straight up.

Big building.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall, right?

Edward, I want to tell you something that Vince Lombardi once said to me.

There's no shame in quitting.

Harry, why don't we go to the gift shop and I'll buy you a tiny Empire State

Building with a teeny gorilla on it?

I'd rather have Fay Wray.

Good luck.

Well, let's finish limbering up.

Yeah.

What's with the hat?

I'd save a lot of time on water breaks with this baby.

Okay, let's go, folks.

Last call for the runners to line up.

Last call?

I never heard any first calls.

Uh...

excitement, that's all. You can't keep this up for 74 more floors. Oh, yeah?

Just watch me. Last one up is a rotten eagle.

You'll be fine.

You just need to get your second wind, that's all.

I used up my second wind.

Stupid.

Look at yourself. You're one step away from falling over.

Sure. Wimp out now.

Why couldn't you fall out two stories back so I could have made some real

What? Is the air too thin up here to do jokes?

Edward, let's go home.

No.

If we hurry, we're going to still catch him.

No.

Well, what's the trophy for?

Best costume.

Too bad you missed the buffet. It was great.

But the speeches went on forever.

We can go home now.

No.

I'm going to finish.

Edward, you don't have to finish. 61 floors is enough for anyone.

No.

With or without you, I'm going to finish.

This is not going to be another Boulder School of Broadcasting.

Oh, no, he's hallucinating.

No, he's not.

Come on, Dad.

Only 25 more flights to go.

25 more?

That's the spirit.

Do you think I'll ever get here?

Okay, that's it, folks. Party's over. I gotta close up.

Oh, please, just ten more minutes. Give me a break, lady. I got tickets to La

Boheme.

There, you see that? The cleaning crew is starting to vacuum.

That's not a vacuum. That's Edward.

the hundred bucks you owe me.

I love you.

Yeah?

I want you to be free to cross the finish line.

Okay, Dad. Okay.

his moment.

He's waited 20 years for this.

We've been here that long?

Hey, I almost forgot.

Here's your trophy.

for standing by me and kate for believing in me

despite certain loudmouth skeptics

this is the proudest moment of my life