Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons.

Hoping to find we're two of a kind.

Making a go, making it grow.

Together, we're going to find our way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.

keys in my Mercedes.

Uh -huh.

You found them? No, but I found your silver pin.

Hey, how about that? First thing your uncle's borrowed that I've gotten back.

Is he still here?

Oh, you know the old saying, old soldiers never die, they just move in

Not forever, just until he finds himself a job.

That's what I said, forever.

The water's boiling, let's take a break.

And stop the fun? Okay.

Quitter. Look for my keys myself.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, son. Look, genuine military camouflage.

We got it at the Army PX.

That's a relief. I thought you enlisted.

How come you're back so early?

Oh, Uncle Harry sounded out to some general that women were ruining the

Oh, yeah? What happened?

She had the MPs throw him off the base.

Where's the old smooth talker now?

He's parking your Mercedes.

My Mercedes?

No wonder I can't find my keys.

Why didn't he take his own car?

Well, he said it wouldn't be able to take the test course. Well, they try out

new tanks.

Eddie, my boy, something's wrong with your transmission. You better have it

looked at.

Hurry.

I'm going to say this in language that I know you'll understand.

Now, hear this.

You never take my car again. Got it, soldier?

Got it.

By the way, you're low on gas.

Uncle Harry, there's a great war movie on. The Longest Day. Oh, yeah. That's

one where John Wayne plays me.

Did you ever eat his chicken?

It tastes like ribs.

I know that idiot.

You know Chicken Charlie?

Yeah, Charlie Morrison.

We were master sergeants in the army together.

Of course, he was a better dresser then.

Have you kept in touch?

Nah, we weren't exactly buddies.

We were always trying to top each other. Why don't you give the old turkey

buzzard a call?

Well, I've been thinking of it, but I've been too busy lately. No, no, no.

Well, why don't you call him right now?

He'd be blown out if he knew what the Pentagon's always calling you for

That's a good idea, Rick, but I can't do it right now. I've got to get some job.

It was one of the most exciting movies I'd ever seen.

Hi, kids.

Don't let me bother you.

How you doing, Katie?

Hi, Uncle Harry.

The cinematography was incredibly panoramic.

You like panoramic?

Try the view from the top of the bridge at Remagen.

Did I ever tell you how I saved that bridge?

No more than 40, 50 times.

Did I tell you?

Edward told me.

Kate?

Is that where you slapped General Patton and told him to pull himself together?

It was for his own good.

Come in.

I'll be right back.

I love it when Uncle Harry tells World War II stories.

Did you know the one time he single -handedly annoyed a German platoon to

That's a panic, kiddo. Uncle Harry, guess who wants to talk to you?

Charlie?

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want that lucky bum lording it

me. Lording it over you?

This man dresses like a hen.

Talk to him. No, no, no, no. Forget it.

Come on, you can invite him out to lunch, maybe cook up a deal together.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Hey, you know, that's not a bad idea.

Great. You're a born leader, young man.

Are Kate and Edward still going to that Jets game tomorrow?

Yes. Okay.

Charlie, you old son of a... gun.

Yeah, hey, hey, yeah, yeah, listen, we ought to get together.

Why don't you come out to my estate on Long Island?

What? Say tomorrow around 12 .30.

We'll have ourselves a nice lunch.

Dad?

Oh, I'm sorry. It's not important.

Look, I know how tough Uncle Harry can be, but I don't see him as you do. I

still see him as I did when I was a little girl.

He'd sweep into Columbus in his army uniform from some spot halfway around

world and absolutely hypnotize me.

Yeah. He's got Rick Snow, too.

He used to tell the most wonderful stories.

And he still does.

Did I ever tell you about the landing at Salerno?

There were Germans to the left of us.

Italians to the right. Oh, Uncle Harry, I would love to listen, but I have so

much to do upstairs.

Oh, that's okay.

It's a man's story anyway.

Well, there we were.

Trapped with no way out. I know the feeling. Listen, I got to run.

Oh, no problem. I'll just tell Eddie here. Oh, well, maybe later, Uncle

I've got to see Rick for a minute.

Well, that's all right.

I'll save it till dinner.

Yeah, it's been that kind of day.

You want to talk about it?

It's really simple.

Someone who's very close to someone, who's close to someone else, wants to

pretend to own something that really belongs to someone else.

The someone who's close to the someone that the someone is close to.

Dad, the real problem is somebody wants me to keep quiet about something.

You mean lying?

Well, yeah, but the thing is, this lie won't hurt anybody.

Sounds like it's hurting you already.

I know.

I know.

And you know what to do about it?

Knowing what to do doesn't make it any easier.

I know.

I know.

He dribbles.

He passes. He stops.

Uncle Harry, we've got to talk.

Sure, kid.

What's the problem?

We cannot pretend this is your house.

Why not?

It'll only take five minutes at the most.

He'll be in and out, and then we're off, you know, we're off to lunch. Would you

hand me the grape jelly?

It doesn't matter how long it takes.

We cannot do it.

Well, I'll make it three minutes. No.

It's wrong.

I don't want you to do something that'll make you uncomfortable.

Even if it means that a blowhard like Charlie Morrison will have the time of

life laughing at me.

It's ironic, isn't it? A man serves his country for 30 years, and

the world thinks of him as a washed -up piece of nothing.

Listen, the visit's not until tomorrow.

Why don't you call him up and change your plans?

No, no, no.

He'll find out sooner or later.

Harry Summers is not one to dodge the bullet.

No.

Better to tell him I'm a washed -up failure.

Face to face.

Okay.

Okay, Uncle Harry. Are you sure? Just five minutes?

In and out, Rick.

You got my word for it. In and out.

Dad, would you hurry up? You're going to be late.

I can't find my binoculars.

I'll let you borrow my telescope.

Oh, that'll look great. Your father watching the cheerleaders with a

Rick, I saw him. He's coming up the drive.

Wait. Who?

Um, Freddy. We're gonna do our homework together.

My binoculars.

Naturally. You've got it. Uh, hold it, hold it.

Let me get some of this grape jelly off.

Okay, folks.

Let's move. Come on. Uh, come on.

Wait a minute. My keys. I can't find my car keys.

Okay, men.

Fan out!

Hey, hey. I found them.

What? Oh, that's great, that's all. Right on time.

So why don't you just go ahead?

Go, Jets, go!

Hello. Hello.

Hey, aren't you Charlie Chicken?

Chicken Charlie.

Boy, a real celebrity.

I've seen all your commercials.

Yummy, yum, yum, yum, yum.

Well, that's very good, kid.

Here's a coupon for a free wing.

Listen, does Harry Summers really live here?

Does Harry Summers really live here?

I ask you first.

So, how many chickens do you kill a year?

Charlie, you old goat.

What are you doing out in the cold? Come on in where it's warm and plush and

rich.

Welcome to my not -so -humble home.

Oh, I see you let my nephew Rick.

Yeah.

Strange kid, Harry.

Hey, hold it. What does this E stand for?

Expensive.

Come on, I'll show you around.

Uncle Harry, it's getting late.

You don't want to miss your lunch reservation, remember?

They'll hold it for Harry Summers.

Summers, I thought you was going to end up a two -bit mooch or someplace.

If I hadn't seen this place in my own eyes, I never would have believed it.

And now that you've seen it, you can be on your way.

Hey, is that for show or does it go?

No. Hop on, I'll show you.

Uncle Harry, it's getting late.

You don't want to miss lunch.

Call and postpone it for me. What happened to in and out in three minutes?

Relax, kid. Who's gonna get hurt?

All aboard!

We just heard on the car radio there's a big thunderstorm coming, so we decided

to come on home and watch the game on TV.

Well, you know those weathermen. They're always wrong.

Lucky guess.

Look, I've got a great idea.

Why don't you watch the game up in your room?

You know, make a little picnic out of it. Huh?

Huh? Sounds good, doesn't it? Huh? Huh?

Yeah, it does. Hey, why don't we do it down here?

No! No!

No?

Something wrong?

No.

It's just that it's cozy. You're upstairs.

Come on.

Where's the train?

Oh, Uncle Harry's got it.

But he'll be back in time to watch the game with you. Tell you more of his

army stories.

Let's go watch the game upstairs.

Lucky we got derailed so close to the house, or else we'd... We'd be soaked.

He will?

I gotta hand it to you, Harry. I'm impressed.

Well, I thought you might be.

Well, your guys are back just in time to leave for lunch.

What is this kid, a broken record?

I want to show him the upstairs first. Come on, Charlie. No, no, no, no, no.

Wait, wait.

You cannot go upstairs. We've got a slight problem with the butler and the

They never went to the game.

What? They're hanging out upstairs.

Oh.

Oh. Come on, Charlie. Let's get some lunch. Come on.

Well, it certainly was nice to meet you, Charlie Chicken.

Chicken Charlie.

I can't wait to tell my friends at school.

Who was that?

What? Who was what?

Somebody answer that door, please.

Who's that?

Um, the butler.

doesn't he get the door?

Good health is so hard to find.

I'd like to keep standing here, but I'm starting to mill you.

Come in, come in, come in.

This is Dexter Stuffins, my, uh, my business manager.

Your business manager? That's right.

Congratulations, Stuffins.

I'm going to throw all of my business your way.

It's the break I've been waiting for all my life.

Listen, I have to get my briefcase. Excuse me, please.

I'll get that for you. All right, let's go. Come on.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait just a second.

I'm on TV. I got a commercial on right now. I gotta watch it. No, no, no. No,

no, no, no. Who's that? George? It's me, Edward.

I'll be right down.

Rick, Rick.

Charlie, Charlie.

Why don't you use the TV in the library?

You can hear your yummy yums in stereo.

In stereo? Yeah, stereo.

Rick.

What's going on in here?

I'm kept standing out in the rain, the door is slammed in my face, and I'm

pawned off as the business manager of that soldier of misfortune.

You want to shed some light on this?

Edward, could I borrow Rick for a moment, please?

Why not? You borrowed everything else.

Now what?

I got a little problem here, kid.

Oh, no.

How'd this happen?

Well, I was... trying to find your father's keys to his Ferrari, and my

stuck in this pot.

This is not a pot.

It's an antique vase from the Manchu dynasty.

No, no, no, no, no, please.

Please, please. No, no, no.

What is going on? The game started.

What was that? I don't know, but I'm on my way. Goodbye.

Hey, Rick.

What was that crash?

What crash?

You know that tacky white vase with those stupid little ducks on it?

Not the antique vase.

What are you worried about? It's not yours.

Not ours.

Harry, I gotta hand it to you. A swell house, a butler, a friendly -looking

maid. You got it all, boy.

Butler?

Friendly -looking?

Well, uh, well, it's time for lunch.

Let's go, Charlie.

Wait a sec. I lost my hat. Where's my hat? I think I put it in the library.

Library.

Rick?

Okay, Dad.

But try to remember, he's a veteran.

Quit stalling.

Dad, I was helping Uncle Harry pretend our house was his house so he can

Charlie Chicken.

Charlie Chicken?

I'm really sorry, Dad.

It was supposed to be in and out, only for a minute.

Who knew it would lead to all this?

Oh, don't blame yourself, kid.

It was as much my fault as it was yours.

Rick, there's no excuse for going along with lies or deception, no matter what

the reason.

So I'm grounded for two days, right?

Try two weeks.

Ooh.

And you, this time you've gone too far involving Rick in a scheme like that.

Well, what do you expect?

You give Harry Summer something good?

Something solid and real?

Something filled with warmth and love.

And sooner or later, he'll just mess it up.

Maybe it would be better if I packed up and left.

Oh, Uncle Harry.

How could you do this?

Well, I was... I was trying to be a big shot.

Trying to pretend I had wealth and dignity. Just... Just to impress some

And it's cost me the love of the only three people I ever really cared about.

I can't find my hat nowhere.

Charlie, look here.

There's something I guess I'd better tell you. Shall I get your coat,

sir?

What? Your coat, sir.

Shall I get it?

You'll be late for lunch, sir.

Yeah, sure.

That's my hat.

What'd you do, put it in the trash compactor?

Don't worry about it, Charlie.

I'll buy you a new one and take it out of his wages.

Well, it was certainly nice to meet you.

Yeah, you too, kid.

If you're lucky, one of these days you'll grow up to be just like your

Harry.

I'll be right with you.

Thanks, Edward.

That took class.

I agree.

Harry, this will never, ever happen again.

I know.

Because that's the last time I fall for that warmth and...

Love routine.

Now, that was great, Dad.

Letting Uncle Harry stay like that?

Well, under the circumstances.

But didn't you just go along with the lie?

Yes, he did.

Well, then, if I'm grounded, it appears to me you should be grounded.

Yes, you should.

But you said you were the maid.

Yes, she did.

Well, then I guess I'm grounded, too.

Wait a minute. We're all grounded, and Uncle Harry's out having a blast.