Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons.

Hoping to find we're two of a kind.

Making a go, making it grow.

Together, we're going to find our way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.

You and I.

We're going to find our way.

You and I together.

We're going to find our way.

What happened to all the hors d 'oeuvres?

I ate them.

Even the smoke, do you?

It's Evelyn.

The thought of your ex -wife visiting makes me very nervous.

If she moved here, I'd gain 200 pounds.

Honey, I know she got under your skin, but that was before we were married.

She's bound to be a lot more mellow now.

You're probably right.

Do we have any peanut butter in the kitchen?

Okay, that's done.

You know, chopping wood really clears your mind.

I made a career decision.

Oh, yeah? What?

I'm definitely not going to be a lumberjack.

That'll definitely make your mother happy.

I can't wait to see her.

Maybe this time she'll stay for a month or two.

You'd better hurry up and get changed.

Yeah, you know your mom. She probably has a busy day planned.

Yeah, fancy lunch, top Broadway show.

You know, she really spoils me.

I love it.

Yeah, I'll get that.

Richard. Mom.

Oh, let me look at you.

Seeing how tall you're getting makes me feel so old.

Mom, you're not that old. You're only... That'll be enough, Richard.

I'll be right back.

Edward. Evelyn.

And Kate. Or should I say Mrs. Stratton.

Congratulations.

Thank you. I think it's just wonderful. A real rags -to -riches story.

We're so sorry you couldn't come to the wedding, but we only had room for 400.

Hey, you, Tootsie. I got living to make.

I just flew in from London and I only have a few pounds.

But they're all in good places.

It would be adorable.

Could you pay the nice man? Yeah, sure. How much is it? Twenty -seven bucks.

Okay.

There's thirty.

Come on, Edward. I tip better than that. Everybody tip better than that.

Give him another five.

Thank you.

Well, I gave you the five. Thank you. Never mind.

Goodbye, material girl.

So how did the old Mrs. Stratton and the new Mrs. Stratton hit it off? It was

sort of a love -hate relationship.

They both loved to hate each other.

Hey, son, how was vampire cheerleaders?

Not nearly as good as werewolf stewardesses.

Dad, Mom needs some cash for the taxi.

Again? I'm running out of pocket money.

Well, how much does she need to get to the plaza?

She's not staying at the plaza.

I think Mom may be hurting for money.

Why do you say that?

Well, at the movie, she told me to stoop down and tell them I was under 12.

I'm sure there's a logical explanation for that.

Somewhere.

That's strange.

What's the matter?

Well, I thought I saw Evelyn sneak apples into her purse.

I knew it.

She's broke.

That's impossible.

She's inherited millions.

There's no way she could spend that much.

You've never seen her shop.

What if it's really true?

Oh, come on, Rick. You know your mom's business manager? He keeps her on a very

sensible budget.

What's his name?

Clarence Birmingham.

Oh, no.

Oh, no? Listen, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but Evelyn's money has

gone south.

What? Clarence Birmingham was last seen in Rio de Janeiro, dancing in the

street. And it wasn't even carnival time.

I think we'd better talk to Evelyn and find out what's going on.

Yeah.

Listen, Dex, it might be more comfortable for her if it's just us.

anyway. Poverty makes me queasy.

Hello. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

Something smells delicious.

What is it? Pot roast.

Is that meat?

Would you like to stay for dinner, Mom? Well, this is awfully short notice, and

the Vanokers did invite me over for croquet under the lights, but who could

no to meat in a pot?

Kate, is this your idea of a practical joke?

Evelyn, we know about Clarence Birmingham.

You do?

I'm afraid so.

You've lost everything, Mom?

Not everything.

I still have my shoes.

One Louis Vuitton bag, a can of hairspray, a little cake of soap I stole

mom's hotel.

Oh, Richard, I'm a bag lady.

Just take it easy, Mom. Listen, I've saved $126, and I want you to have it,

okay?

Evelyn, I can give you enough to get you back on your feet.

I refuse to be a charity case.

I'm not going to become one of those poor souls I used to throw fundraisers

I'll never throw a benefit again.

I'll try to comfort her.

You've got to help her, Dad. You heard, I tried. She doesn't want charity.

Well, then give her a job.

A job?

The only opening I have is a receptionist. That's perfect.

Mom's best thing is talking on the phone.

Rick, making your mother a receptionist would be like making Queen Elizabeth a

supermarket checker. Harold, price check on the potato.

She'd never accept it.

She might.

She's down to swiping fruit.

Rick, there's another drawback. You know, hiring your ex -wife creates a

raft of problems.

Especially when your present wife is the vice president of your company.

Okay, we'll understand.

Didn't you just say the most important things in life are your friends and your

family? Well, as a general principle, yeah.

And haven't you always taught me it's better to give than to receive?

And that the gift of love is the most... All right.

I'll offer her a job.

Great, Dad. You're not going to be sorry.

He's an awfully lucky woman.

Lucky? Yeah.

To have a son like you.

Let's go.

Wait a minute.

Wouldn't it be easier to convince her I owe 16 years back alimony?

You really find out who your friends are when the money goes.

You don't need friends like that.

I even lost my duke. Oh, you'll get another dog.

I was referring to the duke of Braxton.

Oh, that duke.

We were about to be engaged when word of my misfortune hit the fan.

So he dumped you.

Like an old sock.

I'm sorry.

How could you possibly understand?

You know something, Evelyn? You're a very difficult person to console.

Thank you.

Mom, how would you like a job at Eddie Toys?

A job? You're kidding.

He is kidding, isn't he?

Honey, Rick begged me to offer her a job.

Would it do any good if I begged you not to?

Don't worry, honey. She'll never take it.

Mom thinks you're just offering her this job because you feel sorry for her. But

she'd earn her money, right?

Well, don't pressure her, Rick. Your mother may not even want a job.

Wait a minute.

I'm not above working for a living.

You're not?

I've read several novels about women executives and fantasized myself

in a powerful corner office.

Well, the job is a receptionist.

Receptionist? It's grueling work.

You have to answer the phone.

And type.

And greet visitors with a smile.

And type.

Well, Mom, you'd work your way up in no time.

Naturally. How much does it pay?

Three hundred a week.

I used to spend more than that on Perrier.

Well, it was just a thought. Yeah, we understand it's not really something you

would like.

Probably not.

But I'll take it.

Yes!

Eddie Toy?

Leo Patterson?

I'll see if he works here. Hold, please.

Eddie Toy?

Hold, please.

Oh, darn!

Deborah, what's going on? The telephone's lit up like a Christmas

I broke a nail.

Well, can you fix it after you answer the phone?

Typical industrial thinking.

No problem. They hung up.

Evan, let me explain something to you.

Incoming calls are the life's blood of this organization.

Your position here is very important.

Don't patronize me, Edward. A chimp could do this job.

Maybe, but we have you.

Oh, no.

but a messenger will be coming by to pick this up.

You just love to rub my face with it, don't you?

Are you sure you haven't been a receptionist before?

Evelyn, I almost forgot. Would you confirm this reservation for lunch?

be four of us.

Wonderful. I'm famished. I'm sorry, but you won't be going with us. It's a

business lunch.

Fine. Be like that.

Edward, Kate, and I were just discussing strategy for our luncheon with Mr.

Yamaguchi. If we pull this off, we'll have a crack at the Japanese market.

Mm -hmm. Finally a balance of trade, huh? They send us cars, we send them

eyes.

Can you show me the pitch in my office? You want some coffee? Oh, yes. Thank

you. That'll be nice.

Evelyn, would you please make a fresh pot of coffee?

Don't you have people for that?

Yes, you.

to death.

The most important question I've been asked all morning is where is the

bathroom?

That may not seem like an important question to you but to the person who's

asking it that can be critical.

What now?

Let me know the minute Mr. Yamaguchi gets here.

Don't worry about it.

I'll be with you in a minute.

You're supposed to take out the old grounds first.

Well, sure, if you want weak coffee.

Don't they know I'm busy?

Eddie Toys.

Oh, please.

Excuse me, but I have a meeting with... I will be with you in a minute.

Eddie Toys. Eddie Toys.

No, not you. Look, pull back.

Oh, I need the thingy.

Hello?

Yeah, Rick, is that you? Oh, yeah. Hi, Dad.

I'm just filling in. Mom's getting the coffee.

print that executes. What? Just pull the plug.

Mom, put one to the printer.

Oh, nuts.

It's not your fault, Mom.

You're just overqualified.

What happened?

He's already cost me thousands in foul -ups, bleeps, and blunders.

I'm gonna have to fire her.

Just throw her out into the street?

I was only gonna fire her. I like your idea better.

What are you gonna tell Rick?

Sorry, son, but your mother's getting the ax.

Maybe I don't have to fire her. Maybe I could open an office in Nairobi.

Africa has enough problems.

I got to get rid of her.

Going out? Yeah.

Mom's taking me out to dinner to celebrate her first day on the job.

She loves working for Eddie Toys, Dad.

Yeah? Well... You've given back the self -respect and courage to rebuild her

life.

What a guy.

Son... Listen, I have to talk to you about your mother.

Did I mention self -respect and courage?

There's no easy way to say this. I have to fire your mother.

We'll give her six months severance pay. Can't you give her another chance?

I mean, all she did was spill a little water, short out the electricity, and

knock out the computer.

Yeah, well, she only had eight hours.

Rick said it would be all right to bring my laundry over.

Yeah.

Use all the soap you want.

We better hurry, Rick. We don't want to miss out on the two -for -one corn dogs.

Well, I'll get that.

There's something I want to say to both of you.

What's that?

Thank you for the job.

Evelyn, has anybody told you about Eddie Toy's early retirement plan?

Hello, can I help you?

Yes. I'm trying to ascertain the whereabouts of a Miss Evelyn Bradford.

Evelyn? Well, who may I say is ascertaining?

Lowell Whiting III, the Duke of Braxton.

You're the Duke?

Well, what do you want with my mom?

I'm here to beg her forgiveness.

You are?

Oh, great.

Come on in.

I'll get her and tell her. Just sit.

Don't move.

The Duke.

Mom, it's your Duke.

Lowell? Here? In our living room. He's looking for you.

Well, you better get out there, Evelyn.

I can't go out there like this.

I look like a house frown.

Kate, give me your dress.

What? I know it wouldn't be my first choice either, but I'm desperate.

I don't know.

Give her the dress.

You'll stall the Duke. Come on, Dad.

Mom will be right out.

Dad, this is Lowell Whiting III.

Well, hi, I'm Edward Stratton III.

I'm the Duke of Braxton.

I've got a lot of credit cards.

Even told me about you.

Oh, well, none of it true.

Let's hope not.

Yeah, well, Evelyn is helping my wife in the kitchen.

Once you get my mom near a stove, you can't pull her away.

Evelyn? Oh, yeah, you get her in a home environment. Or a castle environment.

Bring out the domestic side in her like that.

Evelyn Bradford?

Yeah.

Evelyn, darling.

So, you've come crawling back, have you?

A Braxton never crawls. Oh, you don't understand. You see, crawling is

slang for glad to see you.

Right, Mom?

He knows exactly what I mean.

This is the welcome I get.

After I made a grueling journey across the Atlantic, three hours on a Concorde.

Goodbye, Evelyn.

No, wait a minute, Duke, wait.

Wait a minute. You know, you're never going to find another woman quite like

Evelyn.

It's one of a kind.

Oh, just believe me.

Give him a chance, Mom. He was just telling us how much he missed you.

Is that true?

Did you say that?

No. Oh, come on, Duke. You know you missed her. Well, maybe a little.

Actually, rather a lot.

Evelyn, I've made a terrible mistake.

I had no idea how much I'd miss you until you were gone.

Hey, Mom, that's from the heart.

Well, I missed you too.

You hear that?

She missed you too?

Evelyn, if you can find it within yourself to forgive me, would you do me

honor of becoming my wife?

Yes!

Well, I'm... If my mom says it's okay.

I don't know. I'm working for Edward now. It wouldn't be fair to just leave

in the lurch. I'd love to be left in lurches.

I have two tickets to London, leaving tonight.

Let me see.

My choices are a nine -to -five job on Long Island or becoming a duchess.

Oh, all right.

Congratulations and thank you.

Really, thank you.

I can hardly wait to redecorate the castle. Yeah, maybe you can put a

the torture chamber, huh?

This is fantastic.

My mom will be the Duchess of Braxton.

I wonder what that makes me.

Nothing.

Thank you.

Oh, goodbye.

We'll see you at the wedding.

You know I love you, don't you?

I love you, too.

I hope you've learned a lesson from this.

Work hard and good things will come your way.

Kate, my mom went off to marry the Duke.

Well, that's par for the course. She's got my nice dress and I've got her dirty

laundry.

She's lucky she's got the Duke to take care of her. She's lucky the Duke

her down. We're lucky I called him in London.