Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, full of silver spoon.

Open to find, we're two of a kind.

Make it a go, make it grow. Together, we're going to find our

way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.

You and I together.

We're gonna find our way.

You sure were a beautiful bride in the summers.

I mean, Mrs.

Stratton. Thank you, Alfonso.

And you certainly were handsome on our wedding day. Oh, no, I... Yeah, I was,

wasn't I?

Look at that pile of wedding gifts.

Getting married is like hitting it big on the Price is Right.

By the way, did you ever figure out who gave us the solar -powered radio and...

Who gave us the antique porcelain horse head?

Well, all I know is that the Johnsons gave us one and the Caraways gave us the

other, and I'm trying to come up with a thank you note that covers both gifts.

Great idea. Try this.

Thank you for your extremely unique gift.

Whenever we carry it, we try not to drop it.

Now, we never have to be alone when we go to the beach.

How about this?

Your gift is truly a horse of a different color.

Well,

I think I'll go think of something else.

Well, I'm going to take this outside and see how it works.

Dad, that's not the Polar Proud radio.

I know that. I'm going to put it in the vegetable garden. It should terrorize

the crows.

I saw a great wedding gift my dad and Kate down at Goldman Silver Shop.

An antique silver picture frame.

I'd really like to get it for them.

You haven't got them a wedding gift yet?

Ooh, tacky.

Anyone with knowledge of etiquette knows you're up to a year after wedding.

Besides, it'd take a little time to save up 150 bucks.

Wow, that's major money.

How much do you have so far?

Seven dollars.

Of course, you owe me five.

Two dollars.

Have you thought about maybe earning some money?

Yeah. But only at the last resort.

How about collecting aluminum cans?

And a nickel a can?

Do you know how many I'd need to save up $150?

A lot.

Yeah, a lot.

I need an adult job.

It kind of pays hard cash.

And plenty of it.

Here's one that pays hard cash.

Plasma Donuts Wanted.

What's plasma?

I don't know.

And if I don't know what it is, I don't want to donate any of it.

Hey, Rick, here's one that's perfect for you.

No... Experience necessary.

Nobody has less experience than I do.

All ages considered.

What's the job?

Salesperson. And listen to this.

Earnings unlimited.

Ooh.

Would you pass me the salt, please?

You know salt's not good for you. You use it. Yes, but I don't have your high

blood pressure.

Salt does not give me high blood pressure. You give me high blood

Don't get yourself worked up.

Why are you always telling me what to do?

Because if I don't, who will?

That's really nice.

Yes.

You're killing yourself, Al.

Oh, wonderful.

Count to five and send them in.

Welcome.

I'm Al Butler, founder... And president.

It's a kid.

Pleased to meet you, sir.

Right. Hi, I'm Roy McIntyre, sales manager.

I'm Richard Stratton. Nice firm handshake, eh, Al? Give it a five.

Here's my employment application.

I sure hope there's something for me at Discounts International.

Excuse me, the correct pronunciation is Discounts International.

You see, discounts international buys factory direct from companies all over

world. And then we pass along the savings to our customer.

I don't know, Roy. We have nine candidates for this job.

Why should we hire some kid?

Well, I'm bright. I'm outgoing.

I... I... I... Well?

I think fast on my feet.

Well, I'm impressed, Al. What do you think?

Yeah, I don't know you. In singles, you have to have a killer instinct.

I'm a killer. Honest.

In the last school library fun drive, I sold over 100 boxes of taffy.

Big deal.

Hey, hold the phone, Al.

If this kid can sell something crummy like taffy, imagine what he could do

our quality item, the hotshot camera.

Are you crazy? Start him up with our finest product?

Maybe you're right.

I could tell the hot shot. I could tell dozens of them. My friends, my

neighbors, they all take pictures. They all take pictures, Al.

I don't think so, kid.

I'm sorry, but he is the president and the founder.

I've just got to have a job.

You see, I need to earn enough money to buy my dad and his new wife a wedding

gift. Al, he does have motivation.

Well? I'm not motivated, Mr. Butler.

There isn't anything I can't do.

My favorite story has always been the little engine who could.

Mine, too.

Oh, I don't know.

I may live to regret this, but I think if this kid works real hard... I will

work hard. He will work hard.

Well, okay.

Oh, good.

I'm sorry.

Welcome to the family. Welcome to the family.

Nice handshake. Already bitter. I give it a five and a half, maybe a six.

This is how we work.

You sell a camera.

you make three bucks.

You sell 100 ,000 cameras, you make $300 ,000.

$300 ,000.

I could retire at 15.

It's been known to happen.

Now, here's your order form, your colorful brochures, and most important

Rick, this is your sales presentation.

Memorize this word by word.

Roy, presenting the hot shot.

imported from a quality camera company whose name I cannot reveal by law.

Now, you might ask, how much does a camera like this cost?

$200? $100?

Well, let me tell you, you can buy this camera for only $15!

It is not more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

Don't get ripped off. And we'll be right back to fight back after these

messages.

You guys got a minute?

Oh, sure, sir.

Happy wedding.

I wrapped it myself.

But you didn't have to give us a wedding gift.

Oh, well, in that case, I'll just... Yes.

You did?

Open it.

Oh.

You like it?

I love it.

The initial's engraved right there.

Oh, son, it's beautiful.

Where'd you get the money to buy something like this?

Well, I work selling these really great cameras, factory direct.

Their discount's only 15 bucks.

Sounds like a pretty good deal.

It is.

I didn't want to tell you about it because I wanted this gift to be a

Well, I am really touched.

And I have the perfect picture for this in the library.

How about the picture where I'm feeding you the cake?

How about the picture where I'm feeding you the cake?

Let's compromise.

How about a picture of the cake?

Is it a bargain at $19 .99? You might not think so.

When your genuine Tiffany lamp turns out to be a genuine rip -off.

Here's an offer that might be difficult for you to turn away from.

A state -of -the -art, fully automatic, imported camera.

Usually sells for $100.

Now, before you reach into your pocket, you should know that what you see is not

what you get.

Don't be fooled into buying. junk like this.

And if you do get ripped off, what do you do?

Pull operator, I'm trying to reach

discounts in Tenacity now.

555 -3604.

I keep getting a busy signal.

Really is busy, huh?

Thanks.

Auto -wind or auto -anything.

All it's got is auto -mess -up.

This camera is bogus.

This isn't like the camera they showed me. No kidding.

Look at this picture Larry took.

Well, I can make this out. Larry, isn't that your bulldog?

That's his girlfriend.

I want my money back, okay?

There's been some kind of mistake.

I'm just on my way to discounts. It's nasty now.

I'm going to stream this thing out, okay?

Yeah, well, you better. I will.

Yeah, and if you don't get our money back, I'll personally make sure that you

don't get another date for the rest of your high school life.

It's only $15.

If Rick says it's going to be okay, then it's going to be okay.

It's gonna be okay, isn't it, Rick?

Hey.

That's what I was afraid of.

Rick, look at this.

What a perfect gift, son.

Yeah, it's something we will treasure all winter.

It's a great picture.

You can see her faces and everything.

Oh, it's wonderful.

Look.

Not to say you like it just to please me. I can return it, get my money back,

and get you something better.

Later.

Return it?

Never.

Rick, it's exquisite.

You know what makes it so special, son?

You bought it with your own hard -earned money, and I'm very proud of you for

that.

It's nothing all that great.

You know, I was thinking, we could use some of those cameras down at Eddie Toys

for employee bonuses.

Give me a price break on a dozen? No!

Okay, you drive a hard bargain. I'll pay you full price.

No, I'm... I can't sell you any.

Why not?

Why not?

You see, this camera was so successful that it sold out forever.

They're never making any more. The company went out of business.

You'll never, ever, ever see them again.

Ever.

Dan, it's all settled. We'll take 600 food processors, Mr. Fong Choi.

Yeah, we'll arrange shipping information next week.

Uh -huh.

Chow Choy.

Al, have you been at my desk?

I had to borrow your stapler. Did you take my candy bars?

And you know, the doctor said they're not good for you. You ate them, didn't

you? I did not. You did too. Did not. You did too.

There's a telltale speck of chocolate on the side of your mouth.

Who's there?

Me. The secretary must be out to lunch.

Hey, look who's here, our star salesman.

Yeah, I sold 80 cameras.

Which means I'm of 80 ex -friends who own an orange box with a strap on it.

Look at this piece of junk the electric guy's painted on.

There must be some mistake.

No wonder they're upset.

This is not the 200LT.

No, that's the 100LT.

Those idiots in Taiwan fouled up the order.

That really steams me.

I personally am going to give Fong Choi the tongue lashing of his life. You

watch. What am I supposed to do?

Tell my gym coach sorry about the bad camera, but it's okay because some guy

named Fong Choi is going to yell that?

Al, we got to refund the money to the kid.

Well, I can't do that.

Come on.

All my friends think I ripped him off, and I'm going to ruin a reputation it

took a lifetime to build.

Oh, no.

Did you hear that, Al? Yeah, yeah.

What do you say?

Okay, you big softy. You really are nice guys.

Yeah, that has nothing to do with it.

Discounts international now.

It's been behind every product we've sold for 25 years.

That's right. Okay, now, that means 80 times 15.

$1 ,200 minus the commission of $240. Wait, I already spent my commission

Can I help it if you're an impulse buyer?

Well, I can't pay everybody back.

Is it my fault they shipped the wrong camera?

No, but why should I absorb your losses?

Hey, Al, he's just a 14 -year -old kid.

Well, sure, he's taller than you are.

He doesn't know any better.

He's right.

Phone Troy will pay us back.

Okay,

okay.

Thanks.

This is great, guys.

There you go.

Boy, am I relieved.

Thanks again, now. Our pleasure.

You know, he really is a nice kid.

Yeah.

I'll bet he doesn't steal other people's candy bars.

Yeah, well, I'll tell him about it.

You believe any of this?

Hello.

Hello, Freddy.

Right, the camera.

Freddy, I'm sure that Rick would never intentionally sell you a bad camera.

Yes, I know how it is when you're at an important event and your camera doesn't

work.

Your mom is in the World Series of Quilting tonight?

Gosh, wish her luck.

Okay, Freddy, I'll have him call you when he gets back.

Bye -bye.

all of these complaints.

Rick has some explaining to do.

Hi.

Hi, son.

I have a few messages for you about a certain camera.

From Tommy, JT, Gwendolyn, Roxy, Vito, Coach

Herkimer, Vice Principal Miletic. I didn't sell a camera to the vice

I know you didn't. He just wants to know why you sold one to Tommy.

J .T., Gwendolyn, Roxy.

Dad, I think I need your help.

You think?

Okay, I'm positive.

See, I went to discounts in Tanathia now.

A place where I got these cameras.

And I told them I wanted my money back so I could repay all my customers.

They seemed real nice about it.

They even gave me this refund check.

They actually reimbursed you? Well, then, there's no problem.

Except when we went to the bank to cash it, it bounced.

Well, then?

There's a problem.

We really got suckered, Dad.

They have this nice office in the Wabanablee building.

It's loose all night.

Then I saw David Horowitz on the TV show. He gave a whole report about the

camera scam.

I'd only seen it earlier.

Why don't you call David Horowitz? You know him? That's right.

You met him when you did that commercial challenge.

Yeah, he proved Eddie Toy's little plumber tool kit could fix a real

We faced the fight back challenge and won.

Aha.

I am going to call. And after I do, we're going down to that office and get

money back.

In cash.

All right.

These guys aren't big, are they?

Well, yes and no.

You sure there's a place, son?

I'm positive, Dad.

They must have skipped town.

Unfortunately, that's the way all these things end up. Oh, David.

Thank you for coming down. This is my son, Rick. Yeah, the victim.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Rick.

Can't we call the police or something?

You know, technically you could, but the worst that these guys have done is

false advertising, which is a misdemeanor.

Can't we take them to people's court?

In order to go to people's courts, you have to have people.

I feel so mad I want to kick something.

They didn't leave anything to kick.

Hey, listen, don't feel bad. You know, most of us at one time or another fall

for schemes like this.

Rick, when I was your age, I remember I saw a great ad in the back of a comic

book for x -ray glasses.

X -ray glasses?

Yep, said you could see through steel, see through concrete, see through...

Other things.

Cost a dollar.

Gee, I paid two dollars.

I remember when I put them on, I couldn't even see through the window.

Well, x -ray glass is the one thing.

This camera looks so good.

I thought it was such a bargain.

Well, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. That's the tip -off to

the rip -off.

I feel terrible.

I feel like I've got a part in ripping off my friends.

I've got to pay them back.

I'll tell you what.

I'll float you a loan. You can pay me back.

Work at odd jobs, mowing lawns. I know what.

You can collect aluminum cans.

Yeah. Hey, Rick, I have an idea.

Why don't you come on my show and tell everyone how you got ripped off?

What? And make a fool out of myself in front of millions of people?

Forget it.

But you wouldn't be making a fool out of yourself.

Instead, you'd be making people aware so that they don't get ripped off.

Instead of being a fool, what you would be is a hero.

Well, tell us to be there, Dave.

Well, I guess that's the end of Discounts International, huh? Uh, Dad,

Discounts International now.

We're going to find our way together, taking

the time each day to learn all about those things

you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.