Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, under the silver spoon.

Open to find, we're two of a kind.

Make it a go, make it grow. Together, we're gonna find our

way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about the... Things you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.

even things out a healthy happy life is one of equilibrium and symmetry

what happened

to the plant uh root rot well

our time is up if you have any problems be sure

isn't so complicated if you just live it.

You like listening to Dr. Scott?

Oh, I think it's a very entertaining program.

Psychology isn't supposed to be entertaining.

It's serious stuff.

You cannot give easy answers to complex problems in between commercials for

pantyhose.

I had no idea you had such strong feelings about this, Rick.

Ever since he joined that peer counseling program, he analyzed...

everything anyone says.

I do not.

Alfonso, have you considered you might be a little jealous?

Think about it.

Back up a second, Rick. What is this peer counseling?

Well, it's this special class where I've been trained to help other kids who are

having problems.

We call them special friends.

Oh, that sounds like a very valuable program.

For example, one of my cases involved a child who was afraid to undress in the

locker room for gym class.

Ah, that's a tough problem.

Tough?

Not really.

I simply suggested that while he was worrying about other kids watching him,

they were all worried about him watching them.

That's very clever.

Clever? Not really.

It comes from weeks of experience.

And tomorrow it's on to my next case.

Well, I've got to go.

I'm going to try to find a girl whose problem is loneliness.

And solve it.

Oh, Edward. Wait a second, wait a second, Kate. I think I got it.

No.

This stupid thing, I can't figure it out.

What is that stupid thing?

Oh. my Eastern European buyer found this in Leningrad. It's the Russian answer

to Rubik's Cube.

Called Ivanovich's What does

that mean?

Roughly translated means object that makes you insane.

Big fad in Russia.

Hey, you could sell it here and call it the Communist Bloc.

you're about to meet is named mark adams he's in junior high he doesn't seem to

get along with the other children and lately he's been cutting classes well

we'll see what we can do miss bikes

rick

rick i've chosen you to be mark's special friend because you've done so

with the kids you've worked with so far

But Mark may be a challenge.

He's rejected everyone who tries to talk to him. Hey, the tougher the better.

After all, I like to think of myself as a human bridge over troubled waters.

I know. I'm working on humility.

Rick, I want to remind you. As you've learned in this program, you are not a

psychologist.

The best thing you can do for Mark is to be his friend.

Listen to him and try to put yourself in his shoes.

Right. All right.

After you meet with Mark a few times, we'll get together and discuss how

are going. Okay.

Mark?

Mark Adams?

This is Rick Stratton.

Hiya, Mark!

Hi.

Well, welcome to peer counseling.

Now, don't be scared by those words. All I mean... We're going to get to know

each other and talk a lot.

Now, this can be a lot of fun, so feel free to say whatever's on your mind.

Really? Absolutely.

Well, okay.

I was just thinking.

I thought high school kids were taller.

about yourself?

Uh, you don't want to hear it. It's not that interesting.

Come on.

Well, for eight years I was the governor of Montana.

Mark. Look, let's get something straight. I don't need a shrink.

If I did need one, I'd get one who was already out of puberty.

Good, good. Go with that.

There's nothing wrong with me that couldn't be cured by eliminating

school, and Most other people.

So, in other words, you're mad at the world.

No. I'm mad at the universe.

So... Who's your favorite music group?

The Benny Goodman Quartet.

It's, uh, Jane Krupa.

Grace!

Who's Jane Krupa?

So... Thought you could have a conversation with me, huh?

You know, Mark, we're only getting the evidence when we put into it.

Have you ever heard the phrase, garbage in, garbage out?

I learned that work on my computer.

You like computers?

It's hard. Not me.

I'm real good at it.

Oh, and I'm saving up for a modem.

I can't believe you actually created this game yourself.

Yeah, based on my personal experience cutting class.

I call it Escape from Junior High.

Yeah, we've almost escaped.

Whoa. The vice principal.

I think I can outrun him.

Come back here.

You know, Mark, I've only been working with you two weeks and already you're my

biggest success story?

Miss Pike says your grades are coming up.

to let my subconscious work on it.

Give me that.

What are you doing?

My subconscious tells me to kill it.

You can't kill an inanimate object.

Oh. In that case, I'm going to seriously injure it.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Mark. How are you?

Oh, fine, Mr. Stratton. Well, good.

What's this?

Oh, that's some silly thing from Russia.

Some overly complex adult... Poi, which...

You

just saw.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Stratton. I ruined all your fun.

Thanks.

We're going to the computer store for a few minutes, Dad, okay?

He likes to take me to fun places, too, like camping or basketball.

Or we'll go out on his boat.

I'd like to meet your dad.

Sure, but he's on the road a lot.

Hey, Rick.

What if they would play a little one -on -one on the playground?

Sorry, we were just going to that new computer store, Floppy Joe's.

to spend time with him. He's my special friend.

What am I?

Laundry lint?

Alfonso, this kid needs me.

He's not my friend. He's my client.

Well, even doctors take Wednesday off for golf.

You can take it off for miniature golf.

Alfonso, you seem to be having a hard time coping with the fact that I'm

involved in some very important work.

Fine, great.

There's a lot of guys who like to play basketball.

You're getting your feelings out. Good.

Good. Go with that.

Yeah, I'll go with it. Right out the door.

Alfonso!

Clear case of separation anxiety.

Son, you about ready for school?

Yeah, almost.

You and Alfonso patch things up?

No.

Alfonso's just going out to deal with his... I don't want to be too technical.

His own insecurities.

You know, Alfonso's your best friend.

Don't you think maybe you're being a little insensitive to his feelings?

He can handle it.

Ah, I see. And if he can't, he can hang around with you and you'll fix him,

right?

Dad, I have a gift.

have to use it.

Son, I think it's great that you're interested in psychology and that you

to help people, but you think you might be getting, I don't want to be too

technical here, a swelled head?

A swelled head?

Not really.

Dad, when I first met Mark, he was a mess.

Now he's getting along with other kids and he doesn't ditch school anymore.

I see.

his life around

in here?

I must have dozed off.

Or this is an incredibly lifelike dream.

How'd you get in here?

You've been here all day, haven't you?

You did school.

Oh, Rick, don't be mad.

Mark, you promised.

Look, the time I spent here was much more useful.

When you hear what I did, you'll thank me.

Remember how you said your Sarka team needed some new plays?

We could stand a few.

Well, I heard the Cosmos keep all their plays on computer.

Well, it took me all day, but I finally figured out their access code.

Know what it is?

Kick me.

Don't give me any ideas.

Here's their playbook.

You know, Mark, I'm very disappointed in you.

Not only did you break our pact by ditching school, you did something

This is the playbook of the cosmos.

This is the playbook of the cosmos!

I knew you'd appreciate it sooner or later.

I'm experiencing what we in the trade call mixed emotions.

Don't worry.

I'll go to school tomorrow.

Mark, you just can't go to school whenever you feel like it.

Boy, that's gratitude.

I spent my whole day busting my tail for you.

That doesn't warrant ditching school. What am I going to do with you?

You know what I wish?

I wish you were more like a computer.

Just keeps me company and does what I want.

I want it, I turn it on. I don't, I just turn it off.

Mark, you can't expect people to be like machines.

People have feelings and emotions and all that other humanly stuff.

Excuse me, Mr. Deep Feelings.

Let me just leave you with this.

I heard somewhere that psychologists have one of the highest nervous

rates.

Food for thought.

Okay, I'm finished.

But you moved a lot.

Oh, now, come on. No excuses. Let's see it.

I didn't move that much.

So remember to buy Sanchez pantyhose for the well -adjusted look.

We have time for one last quick call.

You know, we should hang this in the library.

Hello, this is Dr. Scott.

Hello, I'm a fellow therapist.

My name is Bernard.

What's your problem, Bernard?

Well, I was helping this kid and I thought I had him turned around.

Now he's back to cutting classes.

I feel like a failure.

Well, you have to realize that whether we like it or not, some things are out

our control. Please call again.

You do?

Yeah.

You're gonna tell me you're gonna fire me as your friend.

No, I'm not.

No, I know. You're gonna ball me out again.

I wasn't gonna do that either.

You're gonna tell the people at school what I did.

I would never do that. Well, then why did you ask me over?

I asked you over here because I wanted to try and work this out and remain

friends. That's a heck of a way to talk to a friend.

You know what I think, Mark?

I think you've been trying to fake your way through this.

Okay, I'll admit it.

I've been trying to charm you.

Yeah, I know.

Sure, Rick, I'm going to school.

Sure, Rick, I'm thinking of saying hello to people.

Bologna, you haven't tried to change one bit.

Well, what about you?

You've been pretending to be nice to me.

Good, good.

Go with that.

Who do you think you are, anyway?

The magic prince of mental health?

I've given up a lot of time to help you.

Yeah, and I bet you felt so good about that.

buddy with his little problem.

It was so easy, right?

Everything comes easy for Rick Stratton.

Nice house, terrific father.

I bet at night he walks in and tucks you in.

Well, we do it differently at my house.

At night, my father staggers around, passes out, and I tuck him in.

Now, go with that.

What?

My father's a drunk, an alky, a boozer.

A first -class grade -A alcoholic.

I had no idea.

You acted like you knew it all.

You don't know anything about me.

You told me all those terrific things about your dad.

They were lies.

I was here for you. Why didn't you tell me?

I'm telling you now.

What do you suggest?

Okay, what you should do is...

You could call...

I don't know what to

tell you.

Because I'm out of my league on this one.

I've only had one course in peer counseling.

I better talk this over to Miss Pikes.

You're right.

I'm not the magic prince of mental health.

Don't feel bad.

You did the best job you could.

Sure. I never told anyone the truth about my father before.

And that's a big help.

But I don't know what you should do.

Well, one day on my computer, I tapped into the community bulletin board.

There is this notice about this organization called Alateen.

It's this group for kids whose parents are alcoholics.

Maybe I'll check it out.

But I don't need you for that stuff.

What do you need me for?

Well, just to be my friend.

Come on, Alfonso. Let's go play some one -on -one at the playground.

Yeah. Maybe then we can drop by the hangout.

Sure.

It's been a while since you've been down there.

Some of the old gang went on to college.

I'm sorry, Alfonso.

I guess I got a little carried away, but I found something out about myself.

I wasn't as brilliant as I thought I was.

I could have told you that.

Well, I'm still going to be seeing Mark, but I'm just not going to be solving

all his problems.

I'm glad to see you guys are friends again.

You know, Dr. Scott says friendship is essential for comfort plus support.

Or was that pantyhose?

It came to me in a flash.

The solution to the communist block. Come here, over here in the light.

Now, you see? You hold it up like this, and then you throw that dumb thing in...