All language subtitles for Silver Spoons s02e03 A Fair to Remember

Here we are, face to face, a couple of
silver spoons.

Open to find, we're two of a kind. Make
it a go, make it grow.

Together, we're gonna find our way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just
can't buy.

Blue and silver spoons together.

You and I together.

We're gonna find our way.

You and I together.

We're gonna find our way.

You and I together.

Science class early and throw spit wads
on a ceiling over Mr. Bartman's desk?

He'll dry out and fall all over him.

I don't know.

Remember we did that to Miss Wibble?

One old thing fell on her hair and
stayed there the rest of the semester.

Somehow Mr. Bartman will figure out I
was involved.

He's always on my case.

That's because you don't know how to
handle a barf bag.

I do.

For sure.

You suck.

Sucks up to no man.

Why, top of the morning, Mr.

Stratton, sir.

Kudos to you on those elegant yet
perfect -for -everyday -to -wear pants.

Oh, morning, Edward. Sit down, Edward. I
need to talk to you. Morning, Kate.

Okay, Kate. I'm all ears.

I just got off the phone with a Mr.
Herbert Hobecker.

And I can't wait to tell you what he's
invented.

It's a home... Home entertainment argon
laser light projector with a built -in

oscillator.

How'd you do that?

Kate, Herbie Hobecker's been bugging me
about that thing for months. I told him

I'm in the toy business.

Well, I agree with you, Edward. It's not
a toy.

But think about this.

Now, they're already using lasers for
entertainment at rock concerts and

laseriums. Now, my idea is that we
develop this projector for use at

Smaller events like weddings, bar
mitzvahs, gala occasions of all

Kate, they already invented something
for you, said gala occasions of all

description. It's called the accordion.

Edward.

Kate, all right, look.

Laser light shows are produced by a lot
of extremely sophisticated, very

expensive, high -tech equipment, right?

Now, how's Herbie Hobecker's little
gizmo possibly going to duplicate that

effect?

I'll get back to you on that.

Kate, there's no market for it.

Oh, yeah? Well, it's a good thing
Jeffrey Catruzzola didn't listen to the

doubters and the skeptics.

Who is Jeffrey Catruzzola?

Who is Jeffrey Catruzzola?

Only the man who invented...

The duck bone.

Now, who can tell the class the atomic
weight of zinc?

Mr. Fretton.

Well, uh, that depends if it's a
porcelain zinc or stainless steel zinc.

the atomic weight of zinc stratum and
without the benefit of your questionable

sense of humor.

Well, I didn't get a chance to memorize
the exact weight.

Taylor. Sir. Can you answer the
question?

I can.

Instead of reading the usual one chapter
of The Amazing World of Science, you

will read three.

And tomorrow, there

will be a quiz.

Mr.

Barman, that seems like an awful lot to
do.

I mean, none of our other teachers give
us this much work.

So maybe other teachers think... this is
a daycare center and let you get away

without studying, but not Harry
Singleton Bachman, science instructor.

You children are at a critical point.

The study habits you develop now will
remain with you for the rest of your

academic life.

And if I don't instill those habits in
you now, then I am not worthy to wear

this lab coat.

Don't forget, your projects for the
science fair are due one week from

You can impress your parents by winning
the coveted Bartman Einstein Award.

to me tomorrow with his signature.

You're a bright voice, Stratton, but
you're sadly lacking in the department

department.

If you don't mend your ways, you're
going to be suspended.

Well, it can't all be great days, son.
Heck, I remember several crummy days

I was in school.

Like the day I had to stand up and give
a book report.

My zipper was broken.

Or the day I was in chorus rehearsal and
my voice changed.

Or like the day when your teacher would
send you home with a note to your

father.

This is to inform you that your son's
conduct in my class is belligerent,

uncooperative, and disruptive.

He's a rug cleaner, and the other
students follow his lemons.

Dad, that's ringleader.

will be forced to ask for his
suspension.

Warmest personal regards, Harry S.
Bartlett.

Rick, what happened?

Dad, Mr. Bartlett picks on me.

Now, I doubt very much that he picks on
you.

I have a hunch that he's just
disappointed that you don't live up to

potential.

Rick, I know you're upset.

I've been through this myself.

Really? Yeah.

He was my woodshop teacher.

His name was Mr. Doctor.

Boy, was he tough.

And he always used to seem to pick on
me.

Stratton, that's no way to hold a
jigsaw.

With the grain, Stratton, with the
grain.

is made of sandpaper?

I resented him very, very much at first.

But then I finally began to realize that
Mr. Doctor plain loved

woodworking. It was important to him.

He had sap in his veins.

That's the way Mr. Bartman is.

Only with him it's science.

bumper sticker that says, I break for
Nobel Prize winners.

You see, now, a teacher like that, he
wants you to get as enthusiastic about

subject as he is.

So what I did is I decided to earn Mr.
Doctor's respect.

And when it came time for us
woodchoppers to do our special projects,

And I chiseled.

And I sanded.

And I shellacked.

And I shellacked.

And then I shellacked some more.

And when the sawdust cleared, Mr. Doctor
put his arm around me and he said,

Stratton, that's the best looking
birdhouse that ever housed a bird.

This project is going to win first.

And I brought my family.

late at the office.

Isn't he a salesman for pure pulp paper
products?

He's vice president of sales.

International.

That's right. I think Derek told me that
he'd won the Golden Ream Award.

Yes, it's a shame John couldn't be here
tonight.

After all, Derek is his raison d 'etre.

Derek, Mr. Bartman's about to judge a
science project.

Excuse me, Mommy Dearest.

Our little joke.

Taylor, what have you concocted for us
tonight?

My project, sir, is entitled The Miracle
of Electronic Eavesdropping.

Thanks to recent advances... or
microtechnology, listening devices can

reduced to the size of, oh, a cuff link.

It just so happens that I've planted a
live bug on my father's person.

We could tune in to him wherever he may
be.

We've heard enough.

Au revoir.

Derek, that was a lousy thing to do.

All right, Mr. Stratton.

It's your turn to dazzle us.

concentrates them to narrow very intense
beams called lasers.

I've connected my computer to this laser
projector, and I've programmed the

images which you're about to see.

I've also connected a smoke device so
that you can see the laser beams better.

Shall we begin? Take the lights.

The department has to be the most
spectacular science display I've ever

It's always nice to hear an objective
opinion.

Attention, please.

Before I announce the winner, I would
like us all to reflect for one moment on

where we would be without science.

This year's winner of the coveted
Bachman -Einstein Award

is... Timmy Terrible!

Timmy!

Dad, I later lost a model of a cow's
digestive system.

Edward, he was robbed.

Well, that rubber glove doesn't look
anything like an udder.

Come on, son.

Mr. Barkman, my son worked his tail off
on that display. Now, you may not

consider this an objective opinion, but
I think it beats the pants off a clay

cow.

Richard, your project was quite
impressive.

It showed hard work, initiative, and
creativity.

You will get an A -plus for your work.

I will?

That's great!

But then how come I didn't win the, uh,
coveted Einstein -Bartman Award?

Uh, that's Bartman -Einstein.

I'm afraid your project exceeded the
allowable price limit of $100.

Well, you never told me that there was a
price limit.

Yes, I did.

I guess you weren't listening.

People, we have cake and cookies here.

They're made entirely out of algae.

and listen at the same time.

You're doing exactly what Mr. Bartman
had hoped you'd do.

I am?

You're enjoying science.

I am?

Sounds like it to me.

I want you to call Herbie Hobecker and
tell him that Eddie Toys is going to

start a laser division, ASAP.

Oh, that's terrific.

Now, we've got to figure out somebody to
head up that new division.

Oh, well, who do you have in mind?
Congratulations.

find our way together taking the

time to learn all about those things you

just can't