Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons.

Hoping to find, we're two of a kind.

Make it a go, make it grow. Together, we're gonna find our

way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about the world. Things you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.

You and me.

Of course, this means war.

I'm going to get you.

Excuse me.

Mom!

Richard! How is my little man?

Fine. I have missed you.

Missed you, too.

Guess you got my letter, huh?

I certainly did.

And when I read that you had left military school to live with your

Well, I shrieked.

And people do not shriek in Switzerland.

No, they yodel.

Oh, how I've missed that sweet little sarcastic sense of humor.

I can't imagine where you got it.

So, who does your father's decorating?

Toys, all right?

Come on, Mom. It's the great house.

Mom, I didn't mean to hurt you.

I know you didn't.

But, Richard, how did your father find you?

He didn't.

I found him.

And he's great, Mom.

He's not like you said he was.

He's not a Nerf ball on legs.

He's a real down -to -earth guy.

My ex -wife's out there.

Evelyn? That's one of the things I used to call her, yeah.

Don't tell me what she looks like. Never mind what she looks like. Here, help me

unzip this.

She's not a bad -looking woman.

Are you kidding? She's gorgeous.

Well, in a cold sort of way.

I've dreaded this day, Kate.

I'm sure Evelyn's here to take Ricky back.

Somehow, someway, I've got to convince her to let him stay.

Well, if anybody can do it, you can.

You're right. I'm going to be nice and charming. I'm going to go out there.

I'm just going to explain to Evelyn the situation, and I'm going to convince her

that Ricky belongs with me.

That'll work.

Grow up, Kate. You know perfectly well she's never going to let me keep him.

Take it easy, Edward.

You're right. You're right. I got to be cool.

I got to be calm.

I got to be rational.

Get in the gorilla suit.

Kate, a couple of seconds ago, Evelyn saw a gorilla out there. I don't know

but she assumed it was me.

Now she thinks I'm a flake.

But if I go out there now, and in a couple of minutes you come out dressed

the gorilla suit, she'll think you're the flake.

Edward. Come on, Kate, please. You're the only one who can help me out on

Edward, I will wear that thing.

Oh, great.

But I'm only doing it because I care about you and I care about Ricky.

But once I get into this gorilla suit, I'm conducting myself like a lady.

I brought you a present

from Switzerland.

You'll love it.

question. Now that I've got this, what's Pinocchio wearing?

Why don't you try it on? It's called Lederhosen.

Leder for the hosen moms.

That's fine.

Ricky?

I'm fine.

Well, Evelyn, it seems our honeymoon wasn't a total loss. We've got a pretty

terrific kid here, huh?

Yes, I do.

You know, I think he's got my smile.

Oh?

I never thought his smile was particularly goofy.

You mean you don't think his nose is familiar?

Yes. I think it looks like mine.

What about his eyes?

Mine. He's male.

I will give you that.

Kate! Kate, this is... This is my personal secretary, Kate Summers.

Kate, this is my ex -wife, Evelyn.

Evelyn, this is my personal secretary, Kate Summers. Kate,

that's perfect. That's perfect. The kids at the orphanage will go crazy about

that. Thanks.

Kate,

remind me about the father -son pancake breakfast on Sunday.

She's a gem.

Edward, it's been such a long time. Why don't you and I have a private chat?

Hey, that's a great idea.

You guys can have a few laughs, toss around some remember -whens.

Thank you, dear.

Okay. See you later.

Good night, Rick.

Night. Sleep well here.

And, son, don't forget to brush your teeth.

Wash behind your ears.

All those other fatherly things I'm always telling you to do.

Sweet dreams.

How dare you steal my son?

You want to talk how dare you's? I'll give you a how dare you. How dare you

my son and for 12 years never tell me.

He was too young to be that disappointed.

That was a low blow, Evelyn.

You're right.

It was.

You know, I haven't forgotten.

There was a time when I was wildly and madly in love with you.

And I felt the same way about you.

You were charming and romantic, adventurous.

And you had great buns.

Ed?

Our marriage was really something, wasn't it? Yeah.

Six unforgettable days.

I really wanted the marriage to work, Edward.

But by Thursday, I realized...

We were just socially incompatible.

All because I didn't want to interrupt our honeymoon to go to a luncheon with

Charles de Gaulle.

Everybody who was anybody was there.

There were 800 anybodies there.

Probably couldn't even see de Gaulle without a pair of binoculars.

And you preferred to go on a balloon ride.

I could probably see de Gaulle better than you could.

Oh, Evelyn, I was never into social climbing.

All I ever wanted was to enjoy my life.

And what I'm enjoying most right now is having my son here with me.

Well, I'm sorry, because he's not going to be here with you any longer.

When I leave tonight, he goes with me.

Why? Because you're a bad influence on Ricky. Look around this room.

I will not have my son raised by Bozo the Clown.

I am not Bozo the Clown.

Please, get his things together and we'll leave.

Evelyn, Ricky is not leaving.

I don't have time to argue. I have a plane to catch, and I want Ricky to come

along. I am his mother. He belongs with me. And I am his father, and I have just

as much right to him as you.

Look, Edward, I don't want to do this, but I won't hesitate to get a court

order. Fine. You get a court order, and I'll get mine.

Fine. Fine.

Hey, how's everything going?

Fine.

Leonard, you're my attorney. Just give it to me straight. What are my chances

getting custody of Ricky?

Let me give you the bottom line, Edward.

If you want custody of Ricky, you're going to have to prove Evelyn's unfit.

course, she'll try to prove you're unfit.

I can handle that.

Oh?

Let me give you an idea of what you'd be in for.

You're on the stand, and I'm Evelyn's lawyer, okay?

Okay. Good.

Now, Mr.

Stratton. Do you think a child should attend school?

Certainly. Then why did you take Ricky out of school a couple of weeks ago to

attend a frog -jumping competition?

Well, Ricky raised Oscar from a tadpole.

And you felt that was sufficient reason?

We had ten bucks riding on him.

Uh -huh. So you were gambling.

Oh, come on, Leonard. You were there, too. You were holding a bag of flies.

Mr. Stratton, I have in my hand a long list of women you've been seen with

your divorce.

Well, I've been divorced for 12 years.

Man gets lonely.

Your Honor, cast your eyes upon this wretch.

I submit he does not have the right to be within 100 miles of this child. I

think I speak for the entire courtroom when I say, you, sir, make me sick.

That's it, Leonard. You're fired.

Can't fire me.

I'm Evelyn's attorney, and that's what he's going to do to you. Well, then be

attorney and use the same tactics on Evelyn.

Great. Ricky would just sit there and watch the two of you rip each other

There's no such thing as a half -hearted war when it comes to custody disputes.

No matter who wins, the loser is going to be Ricky.

I love that boy, Leonard.

I know.

I feel like I didn't have any real purpose to my life until he walked in

door.

He's the only person who ever really needed me.

What am I going to do without him?

I'm sorry, Edward.

Dad?

Rick, hey, hey.

Now, shouldn't you be ready for bed?

I'm not sleepy.

Sure. Sort of.

Not really.

No.

Rick, we've got a problem. See?

Your mom wants you to go live with her.

Oh.

The thing is, I want to stay here with you.

Thanks.

That means a lot to me.

And I want you to live here with me, too, more than anything in the world.

See, the thing is, you can't stay.

But why not?

Well, your mom's getting a legal paper. She's called a court order, and that

means that she can take you with her.

Well, couldn't you file it in court?

Yeah.

But here's what would happen.

My lawyer would say a lot of mean things about your mom.

And her lawyer would say a lot of mean things about me.

I don't want that.

Neither do I.

So, see, I think it's better that you just go with her.

I'll miss you, Dad.

Well, I'll miss you, too.

But listen, now, we're going to see each other, you know.

We're going to have Thanksgiving and Christmas and Washington's birthday and

Lincoln's birthday and Luke Skywalker's birthday.

All the big holidays.

Rick, I'm still your dad.

And if you ever need me, I'll be there.

Tom. Evelyn.

You got your court order already, huh?

Leave it to you to find a 24 -hour judge.

No, I didn't get the court order.

I thought about it.

For Ricky's sake, I'd like us to work this out amicably.

I'd like that, too.

Rick, why don't you excuse your mom and me for a minute, okay?

Sure.

Evelyn, Rick and I had a talk, and we decided that he's going to go and live

with you.

Oh. Well, that's marvelous. I only have one condition. I don't want you ever

putting my son in any kind of a boarding school again.

Agreed.

If we hurry, Ricky and I can make the midnight flight to London.

Yeah.

Rick, I'm gonna go get your stuff.

Just put in a few things. I'll send for the rest.

Sure I'm going to miss this place.

Oh, darling, wait till you see our new house in London.

I don't want to go to London.

Besides, do you know how many traffic accidents there are in London?

People are always driving on the wrong side of the road.

There it is again, that sweet little sarcastic sense of humor.

Mom, what if I told you I want to stay with Dad?

Honey, that's all settled.

I... My dad needs me.

I need my dad.

Here we are.

Packed all the stuff I thought you'd need.

Thanks.

Hey, Rick, can I keep your E .T. shirt?

The one I cried on in the movies.

You can keep it.

Thanks.

I only packed one of your purple socks, too.

Remember who made a puppet out of the other one?

Hello, Evelyn.

You look great.

Your shoe or mine?

Not now, son.

Guess we're not going to make it to the Fossum pancake breakfast?

No.

I'll tell you what.

You... You have pancakes on Sunday.

For breakfast.

And I'll have pancakes on Sunday for breakfast.

And we'll just think about each other, okay?

Okay.

Dad,

try and eat at least one green vegetable a day.

I'll try.

You can have my half baseball card collection.

Thanks, buddy.

You're welcome.

Woodman's handshake?

I

love

you, son.

Love you, too.

Please take good care of him.

Edward, while you were upstairs, Ricky and I had a talk.

And we decided that he should stay with you.

You mean it?

Yes.

Yes, I do.

You mean I can stay?

You can stay.

Oh, I love you so much.

But I want to see you.

You are still my little man.

She can come any time, can't she, Dad? Sure.

We got plenty of room.

Yeah. She can even stay tonight.

No.

Thanks anyway.

I'd better be going.

Ricky, I know I've said a lot of bad things about your father.

Some of them weren't true.

You two take care of each other.

Evelyn? Thank you.

You're welcome.

And you still have great buns.

So do you.

Together, we're going to find our way.

Together,

taking the time of day.

To learn all about the things you just can't buy.

To do the spoons together.