Original subtitles

♪♪

YES!

AND NOT A SCRATCH OR A CHIP ON ANY OF THEM.

PLEASE TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT MY DISHES.

UH, THAT WOULD BE A LIE.

WE AGREED NEVER TO USE THE SHRINK RAY IN THE HOUSE.

I'M BEING REALLY CAREFUL.

YEAH, YOU'RE ALWAYS CAREFUL,

AND SOMEHOW THINGS JUST SEEM TO HAPPEN.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,

I KNOW THE SHRINK RAY INSIDE AND OUT.

THE OAK THAT USED TO BE IN THE FRONT YARD.

THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ANYONE.

IT FITS IN WITH MY PLAN TO MAKE US RICH.

YOUR PLAN?

YEAH. DIANE, LET'S FACE IT,

I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER,

AND WORKING AT JENTECH IS STARTING TO WEAR ME OUT.

I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BLOOM AS AN INVENTOR THERE.

I NEED TIME, AND I NEED FUNDS TO EXCEL.

WHEN LEONARDO da VINCI WAS MY AGE,

HE WAS ALREADY DESIGNING A FLYING MACHINE.

AREN'T YOU DESIGNING A FLYING MACHINE?

YEAH, BUT IT'S JUST FOR KIDS. JENNINGS HAS THIS CRAZY IDEA

THAT THIS WILL BE THE LATEST THING FOR CHRISTMAS.

I KNOW WORKING FOR MR. JENNINGS IS HARD.

HE DOESN'T GET INVENTIONS. HE NEVER DID, HE NEVER WILL,

BUT WITH THE AID OF MY SHRINK RAY,

I COULD QUIT MY JOB AND BECOME AN ENTREPRENEUR.

DIANE, YOU REMEMBER HOW WHEN WE MOVED,

I SHRUNK ALL OF OUR FURNITURE?

ALL RIGHT, SOME OF IT DID GET CRUSHED IN THE MOVE,

BUT I'VE RECENTLY RECALIBRATED THE SHRINK RAY.

WHY, YOU MIGHT ASK?

WHY?

I COULD START MY OWN MOVING COMPANY.

I COULD MOVE THOUSANDS OF OBJECTS AT NO COST AT ALL.

I COULD MOVE AN ENTIRE MUSEUM IN A SHOEBOX.

INSTEAD OF HIRING BIG TRUCKS

FILLED WITH BURLY GUYS IN WHITE SHIRTS WHO SMELL,

PEOPLE COULD HIRE ME. I HARDLY SMELL.

I BET WITHIN A YEAR

I COULD MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO RETIRE

AND INVENT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

WE COULD MOVE TO HAWAII. YOU COULD QUIT YOUR JOB.

WE COULD WEAR GRASS SKIRTS AND TAKE HULA LESSONS.

WE COULD EAT BIG BARBECUED PIGS WITH APPLES IN THEIR MOUTHS.

I COULD RESTORE OUR DISHES TO NORMAL SIZE

AND SHUT DOWN THE SHRINK RAY.

THAT'S CERTAINLY A FALLBACK OPTION.

OH, HONEY...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

THANKS.

IT WAS A DARN GOOD PLAN, THOUGH.

[ SIGHS ]

[ CRASH ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

HELLO.

IS IT FOR ME?

IT'S THE CHIEF. WHAT'S UP, CHIEF?

IF A CALL COMES IN FOR ME,

LET THEM KNOW I'M AT WORK.

YEAH, I'LL BE AROUND FOR A LITTLE LONGER, IF YOU WANT --

CHIEF? CHIEF? HE HUNG UP.

HEY, IT'S SATURDAY, REMEMBER? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I STILL HAVE TO FINISH THE GORDON-HUGHES MOTION.

TRUDY'S BRINGING OVER THE TRANSCRIPTS.

HEY NICK!

HOW ABOUT HELPING YOUR OLD MAN FINISH FIXING THE DISHES?

CAN'T. JOEL AND MYRON ARE COMING OVER

TO WORK ON A CLASS REPORT ON SPONTANEOUS HUMAN COMBUSTION.

ANY CHANCE OF YOU GUYS

TEACHING YOURSELVES HOW TO COMBUST INSTEAD?

HA HA.

HOW ABOUT YOU, AMES?

CAN'T DAD, I'M BOOKED. I'M HELPING MOM.

FOR A FEE.

MOM IS GENEROUSLY TREATING JACK AND ME TO A MOVIE,

IF WE TAKE QUARK TO THE V-E-T FOR HIS S-H-O-T-S.

QUARK KNOWS HOW TO S-P-E-L-L.

QUARK, YOU BETTER NOT SCREW UP OUR DATE.

BYE.

HEY, I'LL BE AT THE OFFICE LATER.

ALL RIGHT.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

HEY, GUYS, COME ON IN.

HEY, MRS. S.

COME ON UPSTAIRS.

I'VE GOT GREAT PICTURES OF PEOPLE BLOWING UP.

COOL. DOES IT SHOW BURNING GUTS AND STUFF?

NO, JUST SMOKING SHOES.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS

TO BE THE NORMAL ONE IN THE FAMILY?

MY DAD USED TO SAY THAT A LOT.

HA HA HA HA HA.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

HEY, CHIEF.

COME ON IN.

SZALINSKI, I GOT TO TALK TO YOU. I --

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

[ GASPS ]

JACK.

MR. S., AMY HOME?

AMY, ARE YOU READY TO GO?

JACK, DON'T JUST STAND THERE. HELP ME. COME ON.

OKAY, I'M COMING.

ALLIGATOR TO BLUEBIRD, ALLIGATOR TO BLUEBIRD,

THE COAST IS CLEAR, BLUEBIRD.

I CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL.

IS THERE ANYWHERE THAT WE COULD TALK

THAT'S A LITTLE MORE PRIVATE?

MORE PRIVATE THAN MY CLOSET?

WELL, I'VE GOT TO HEAD OUT TO WORK

IN ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO.

PERFECT! I'LL MEET YOU THERE -- ONE HOUR.

DON'T LET ME DOWN.

[ WHIMPERS ]

Amy: QUARK!

THERE'S ONE EXPLANATION THEY CALL THE WICK THEORY.

A FIRE SMOLDERS UNDER AN UNCONSCIOUS VICTIM

AND GRADUALLY HEATS UP THE BODY FAT

UNTIL IT SLOWLY ROASTS.

NASTY.

YOU MEAN LIKE A HUMAN BARBECUE?

IN LAYMAN'S TERMS, YES.

PRETTY COOL, BUT NOT AS COOL AS JUST BLOWING UP.

JOEL, NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BLOW UP.

WELL, MAYBE NOT,

BUT THINK HOW INTERESTING IT WOULD BE IF EVERYTHING DID.

DON'T TOUCH THAT SANDWICH -- KABOOM!

OH, THE HUMANITY!

OH, THE PEANUT BUTTER AND THE JELLY!

THAT WOULD SO NOT HAPPEN.

IT'S BEEN DOCUMENTED IN TONS OF NEWSPAPERS AND MAGAZINES.

IT WAS ON "UNEXPLAINED MYSTERIES,"

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

HE DOES HAVE A POINT.

THE MOMENT OF IGNITION IN SPONTANEOUS HUMAN COMBUSTION

HAS NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN OBSERVED.

THERE'S ALWAYS A FIRST TIME, RIGHT? OF COURSE.

[ WHIMPERS ]

OH, YOUR DOG MUST HAVE A SIXTH SENSE.

YEAH, WHERE'S BRUCE WILLIS WHEN YOU REALLY NEED HIM?

WELL, I'D SAY,

BUT IT'D PROBABLY RUIN THE MOVIE FOR SOMEONE.

HA HA.

MAN, OUR DATE HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET,

AND QUARK'S ALREADY MESSED IT UP.

WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

JACK, YOU LEAVE FOR THE UNIVERSITY IN A MONTH,

AND I LEAVE NOT LONG AFTER THAT,

AND WE HAVE YET TO HAVE A DATE

THAT HASN'T BEEN... SZALINSKIED --

EITHER A MANIACAL MANNEQUIN HAS TAKEN OVER MY CAR

AND TRIES TO DRIVE US OFF A CLIFF,

OR OUR HOUSE HAS BEEN TRANSPORTED TO ANOTHER PLANET

AND A MONSTER IS TRYING TO EAT US.

OR ALIENS TRY TO MARRY YOU AND KIDNAP YOU.

THAT, TOO.

JUST ONCE, I WISH WE COULD HAVE A NORMAL DATE

BEFORE YOU LEAVE.

AMY, I KNOW THAT NOT ALL OF OUR DATES HAVE BEEN --

QUARK!

HAVE, UH...

I DON'T SEE WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO TRY TO DO.

JUST THINK OF HOW FAMOUS WE'D BE

IF WE COULD ACTUALLY CAUSE SPONTANEOUS HUMAN COMBUSTION.

ALL WE NEED TO DO IS SET UP THE PROPER CONDITIONS

AND LET IT DO ITS OWN THING.

THINK OF THE FAME, THE FORTUNE, THE ADULATION

IF WE CAN ACTUALLY CRACK THE MYSTERY.

ALL I NEED IS AN "A" TO CRACK MY C-PLUS AVERAGE.

[ WHIMPERS ]

QUARK!

[ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY ABOUT SMACKING YOU BEFORE,

BUT YOU WERE MISBEHAVING.

I GOT TO GO TO WORK FOR A WHILE.

TRY AND STAY OUT OF MISCHIEF,

AND I'LL OVERHAUL YOUR CONTROL BOX TONIGHT.

DON'T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO.

[ WHIMPERS ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

GRRR.

IF WE ARE EVER GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE,

YOU HAVE GOT TO HELP ME FIND HIM.

BUT AMY.

YOU CHECK DOWN HERE, I'LL LOOK UPSTAIRS.

HEY, DAD. QUARK!

[ RUFF RUFF ]

THERE YOU ARE.

OHH!

[ RUFF RUFF ]

[ RUFF ]

AAH!

UHH.

OH, MY GOD.

[ WHIMPERS ]

SOME BEST FRIEND YOU ARE.

YOU LED ME RIGHT INTO A TRAP.

[ WHIMPERS ]

DAD?

JACK?

ANYONE?

NICK?

[ WRIST-COM BEEPS ]

DAD? DAD, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Dad? Dad?

NEED SOME EXERCISE?

IF IT ISN'T THE CHIEF WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, SEÑOR MISTERIOSO?

SZALINSKI, THERE COMES A POINT IN TIME

WHEN A MAN REACHES A FORK IN THE ROAD,

AND AT THAT POINT IN TIME,

A MAN HAS TO DECIDE WHICH PATH HE'S GOING TO TAKE,

KNOWING FULL WELL WHICHEVER PATH HE TRAVELS DOWN

COULD BE THE RIGHT ONE OR COULD BE THE WRONG ONE.

WORDS TO LIVE BY, CHIEF,

BUT IS THERE A POINT TO ALL THIS?

A PRESENT?

AW, CHIEF.

BEAUTIFUL RING,

BUT I'M ALREADY TAKEN.

I KNOW YOU'RE ALREADY TAKEN. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

JAKE, YOU'RE NOT GETTING READY TO DO

WHAT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE GETTING READY TO DO?

I'VE BEEN ALL ALONE FOR QUITE A FEW YEARS NOW.

THE BOYS ARE ALMOST GROWN,

AND A MANLY MAN SUCH AS MYSELF NEEDS A COMPANION.

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING A DOG OR GETTING A WIFE?

GETTING A WIFE.

CONGRATULATIONS! OH, THIS IS JUST FABULOUS NEWS!

IT'S JUST -- IT'S FABULOUS!

AND -- AND IT'S ABOUT TIME.

YEAH. WELL, WE'VE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER

FOR OVER A YEAR NOW.

THE PROBLEM IS, SZALINSKI, I AM SCARED TO DEATH.

I COULD BARELY WORK MYSELF UP TO GET THE RING,

LET ALONE GET UP THE NERVE TO ASK MISS TRUDY.

WHAT IF SHE SAYS NO?

WHAT IF SHE HAS TO THINK ABOUT IT?

CHIEF, CHIEF, I'M SURE SHE'S GOING TO SAY YES.

HOW SURE? 60-40, 70-30.

THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.

I THINK ABOUT IT DAY AND NIGHT, I CAN'T SLEEP.

I CAN BARELY CARRY ON A CONVERSATION WITH HER.

I'VE BEEN LOSING WEIGHT.

YOU HAVE?

IF I DON'T GET THIS THING OVER AND DONE WITH,

LET'S JUST SAY I'LL RETURN THE RING,

PACK MY BAGS, AND MOVE SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY,

MAYBE TIBET.

I COULD SPEND MY EVENINGS SITTING CROSS-LEGGED

IN FRONT OF A BUTTER OIL FIRE,

DREAMING OF MISS TRUDY AND WHAT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE.

ALL RIGHT, CHIEF, HEY, LET'S SNAP OUT OF IT HERE.

YOU'RE TALKING CRAZY TALK NOW.

MY POINT IS, SZALINSKI,

THAT TONIGHT IS THE MAKE OR BREAK.

IF I CAN'T FIND THE COURAGE TO ASK HER NOW, I NEVER WILL.

AND IT WILL ALL BE OVER,

THAT'S WHY I NEED YOUR HELP.

SURE. ANYTHING.

WOULD YOU ASK HER FOR ME?

ANYTHING BUT THAT.

THIS IS A VERY PERSONAL AND PRIVATE THING.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO SHARE YOUR HEART.

SHE'S NOT GOING TO WANT ANYONE THERE BUT YOU AND HER.

OH. WELL, THANKS ANYWAY, SZALINSKI.

I JUST HOPE THE JEWELER WILL REFUND THE RING IN FULL.

IT WAS A SPECIAL ORDER.

I WONDER WHAT OUR CHILDREN WOULD HAVE LOOKED LIKE.

OKAY.

OKAY.

I WON'T PROPOSE FOR YOU, BUT I'LL HELP YOU.

OH, THANK YOU. I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.

I UNDERSTAND WHAT A SACRIFICE YOU'RE MAKING.

BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT A RELIEF IT IS

TO PUT MY ENTIRE FUTURE OF MARITAL BLISS

IN YOUR SAFE HANDS.

ENTIRE...FUTURE?

OTHER PEOPLE GET TO LEAD NORMAL LIVES.

IF THEY WANT A THRILL, THEY TURN ON THE TV,

THEY GO TO A MOVIE, THEY GO ON A TRIP.

I GET SHRUNK DOWN

TO THE TEENAGE EQUIVALENT OF A DUST BALL.

OKEY-DOKE.

[ SIGHS ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

HELLO? IS IT JAKEY?

HANG UP. STUPID PHONE.

YEAH, STUPID PHONE.

WHAT'S WRONG, TRUDE?

WHAT? NOTHING. I'M FINE.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

OH, NOTHING. FINE, TOO.

GOOD.

YEAH.

YEAH.

[ RUFF ]

DON'T YOU TRY AND MAKE UP WITH ME NOW.

YOU'VE PROBABLY RUINED MY LAST MOMENTS

OF MY LAST DAYS WITH JACK.

[ WHIMPERS ]

YEAH, YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.

AMY?

ARE YOU UP HERE?

OH, NO! JACK, YOU'LL GET SHRUNK.

[ RUFF ]

JACK, RUN AWAY! GO AWAY! DON'T COME IN!

I CAN'T FIND YOUR DOG.

[ WHIMPERS ]

THERE YOU ARE. [ RUFF ]

COME HERE, YOU --

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

AMY, ARE YOU IN HERE?

QUIT MESSING AROUND.

JACK, RUN!

AMY, THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

I'M TRYING TO CATCH YOUR DOG.

JACK?

[ WHIMPERS ]

AMY, ARE YOU UP THERE?

JACK? JACK, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

DON'T WORRY.

YOU'VE BEEN SHRUNK.

THE TINGLING WILL WEAR OFF IN A FEW MINUTES.

GREAT. IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT I'M TEENY-TINY,

NOW I'M GIVING TEENY-TINY ADVICE

TO MY TEENY-TINY BOYFRIEND.

WHERE ARE MY PARENTS WHEN YOU NEED THEM?

OH, MOM.

[ WRIST-COM BEEPS ]

MOM? MOM, ARE YOU THERE?

THIS IS A SZALINSKI EMERGENCY.

I need your help.

Come in, Mom.

[ WRIST-COM BEEPS ]

MAMA BEAR HERE.

[ FEEDBACK ]

OW! OW!

[ GRUNTS ]

HELLO?

HMM, ODD.

I KNOW,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

WHAT'S WRONG, TRUDY?

HE'S ACTING SO ODD, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

I THINK IT'S ME.

YOU MEAN JAKE?

I THINK HE'S GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME.

DID HE SAY SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE YOU THINK THAT?

HE'S ACTING STRANGE, THOUGH.

WELL, MAYBE IT'S JUST SOMETHING AT WORK.

NO, IT'S ME. IT'S GOT TO BE ME.

HE'S ASKED ME TO DINNER TONIGHT.

I THINK HE'S GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME.

OH, AND HE'S SO SWEET.

OH, YES, HE IS.

JAKE IS ONE OF THE SWEETEST MEN I KNOW.

[ Sobbing ] I'M GOING TO MISS HIM.

OH, WELL...

MY LITTLE HONEY BUNNY.

OH, TRUDY, YOU DON'T KNOW ANY OF THIS FOR SURE.

I COULD TELL.

WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER, HE LOOKS AT ME FUNNY.

FUNNY HOW?

WELL, KIND OF LIKE

HE GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BOWLING BALL,

AND THEN -- THEN HIS EYES GET ALL GLAZED OVER,

AND THEN HIS TONGUE HANGS OUT OF THE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH,

YOU KNOW, KIND OF -- KIND OF -- KIND OF LIKE THAT.

AND THEN -- AND THEN HIS NOSE STARTS TO TWITCH,

AND -- AND HIS JAW GETS ALL TIGHT

AND HE -- [ Mumbling ]

[ SOBS ]

DOES WAYNE EVER LOOK AT YOU LIKE THAT?

OH, QUITE OFTEN, IN FACT.

BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT.

WELL, MAYBE HE'S NOT GOING TO BREAK UP WITH YOU.

MAYBE HE JUST HAS SOMETHING ON HIS MIND.

IF HE DOES, IT'S AWFUL,

AND THERE ARE ONLY TWO THINGS IN THE WHOLE WORLD

THAT ARE THAT AWFUL --

ONE, HIS PUPPY DIED,

TWO, HE'S GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME,

AND JAKE DOES NOT HAVE A PUPPY.

WELL, IT SOUNDS PRETTY DEFINITIVE, THEN.

YEAH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S JUST GOING TO DUMP YOU

LIKE THAT OUT OF THE BLUE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO?

I AM GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HIM.

YES! I DON'T THINK I'D HAVE THE GUTS

IF YOU HADN'T VOLUNTEERED TO COME WITH ME.

VOLUNTEERED?

WITH YOU BACKING ME UP,

I WILL HAVE THE COURAGE OF AN ELEPHANT! HA HA HA!

IF ELEPHANTS HAVE COURAGE.

YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY

GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST HIM, ARE YOU?

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I LOVE A GOOD EXPLOSION, BUT --

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

SO WHAT DOES THE BOOK SAY, JOEL?

IT SAYS THAT MOST SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION

IS CAUSED BY A BUILDUP OF STATIC ELECTRICITY.

GUYS, I REALLY DON'T THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.

DON'T WORRY. IT'S PERFECTLY SAFE.

WE'RE JUST GOING TO TEST OUT SOME THEORIES.

YOU'RE THE PERFECT SUBJECT. STATIC ELECTRICITY?

WHAT COMMON HOUSEHOLD ITEM

IS A NATURAL CONDUCTOR FOR STATIC ELECTRICITY?

Amy: JACK, ARE YOU OKAY?

UH, WHAT'S YOUR DEFINITION OF "OKAY"?

DON'T FALL.

THANKS. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT UP THERE

ON MY LIST OF THINGS NOT TO DO.

I'VE GOT TO DO THIS RIGHT.

NOW READ BACK WHAT WE'VE GOT SO FAR.

OKAY. "MISS TRUDY,

WE'VE BEEN STEPPING OUT FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW -- "

OKAY, SEE, "STEPPING OUT" --

I DON'T THINK THAT'S REALLY THE BEST TERMINOLOGY.

IT SOUNDS SO, UH... UNROMANTIC.

HOW WOULD YOU SAY IT?

WELL, LET'S SEE, YOU'VE GOT COURTING, ESCORTING,

UH, ACCOMPANYING, PITCHING WOO.

HUH.

MISS TRUDY, YOU AND I HAVE BEEN PITCHING WOO FOR --

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

IT SOUNDS PRETTY RISQUé, DON'T YOU THINK?

COMING FROM YOU, DEFINITELY. LET'S TRY "COURTING."

OH, FOR CORN SAKES! IS THAT THE TIME?

I GOT TO CHECK ON THE KIDS. DIANE LEFT ME IN CHARGE.

YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS. WE'RE NOT DONE.

WE HAVEN'T EVEN REHEARSED THE PART

WHERE THE LITTLE PUPPET GIVES HER THE RING.

TRUDY LOVES MY LITTLE PUPPET.

I'LL BE THERE. I PROMISE.

LET ME CHECK ON THE KIDS, CHANGE MY CLOTHES,

AND I'LL MEET YOU AT THE RESTAURANT.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN THE MEANTIME?

WORK ON YOUR SCRIPT, OR BETTER YET,

PRACTICE A NICE ROMANTIC SONG.

SHE'LL GO ALL MUSHY FOR THAT.

YOU KNOW ANY SONGS?

I ONLY KNOW ONE -- TO SING, THAT IS --

BUT IT IS PRETTY ROMANTIC.

♪ HELLO, MY BABY, HELLO, MY HONEY ♪

♪ HELLO, MY RAGTIME GAL ♪

♪ SEND ME A KISS BY WIRE ♪

TRUDY, WHEN I SUGGESTED YOU PUT YOUR THOUGHTS IN ORDER,

I DIDN'T MEAN CHRONOLOGICALLY FROM YOUR FIRST DATE ONWARD.

THAT REMINDS ME. ON OUR FIRST DATE,

HE RAN OVER MY FOOT WITH HIS HARLEY.

WRITE IT DOWN. WRITE IT DOWN.

HARLEY...

[ GRUNTS ]

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

THAT'S THE LONGEST "LITTLE FURTHER"

I'VE EVER CLIMBED IN MY LIFE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

BELIEVE IT. DON'T WORRY.

AS SOON AS DAD GETS HOME, HE'LL FIX IT.

ISN'T THERE ANOTHER WAY TO CALL HIM?

WHAT ABOUT NICK? WHERE'S HE?

WHEREVER LITTLE NERD BOYS FLOCK WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER.

I THINK I'M GETTING AN INDIAN BURN.

AH, QUIT COMPLAINING AND START SMOLDERING.

[ SIGHS ]

[ EQUIPMENT BEEPS ]

WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE.

JACK, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE STEPPING.

DO I WANT TO KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

YOU TURNED ON THE TIME HOPPER.

I SAID DO I WANT TO KNOW?

[ RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF ]

[ RUFF RUFF ]

GRRR.

NICK, BOYS?

[ QUARK BARKING ]

AMY? YOU GUYS HOME YET?

[ QUARK BARKING ]

QUARKIE, EVERYTHING --

OH, BOY!

DAD!

[ BOBCAT GROWLING ]

OH, BOY.

[ GROWLING ]

[ GROWLING ]

GOOD, VERY BIG,

VERY, VERY, VERY, BIG, BIG, LARGE KITTY.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU CAME FROM,

BUT YOU CERTAINLY WEREN'T INVITED.

WE HAVE GOT TO GET THAT THING

BACK ON THE TIME HOPPER PLATFORM.

GO GET HIS ATTENTION.

OKAY. ARE YOU CRAZY?

JUST DO IT.

UH...UH, HEY!

HEY, YOU --

YOU BIG, FAT, UH... SCAREDY-CAT.

[ GROWLING ]

DO YOU WANT A LITTLE PIECE OF -- OF LITTLE ME?

YEAH, COME ON OVER HERE, BUDDY.

BETTER, BUT STILL NOT ENOUGH.

WE COULD TRY MORE BALLOON RUBBING.

NO, PLEASE, NO MORE BALLOONS.

YOU KNOW WHAT, JOEL?

I THINK MYRON'S RIGHT.

I THINK IT'S TIME TO GET OUT THE BIG GUNS.

BIG GUNS?

OH, YOU MEAN MR. THINGIE.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.

UH, DON'T YOU THINK

WE'VE DONE ENOUGH EXPERIMENTING FOR THE DAY?

I MEAN,

IF I HAVEN'T SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED BY NOW, I...

SO, HOW LONG DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE HIM IN THERE?

LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT IF HE'S GOING TO BE SCIENTIST,

HE'S GOT TO BE MORE OPEN-MINDED.

AND IF I JUDGE CORRECTLY,

THAT SHOULD BE JUST LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE

TWO PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA SANDWICHES.

THESE GUYS ARE CRAZY.

BANANA.

Amy: COME ON, DAD.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE OUT ON A DATE.

WE WILL BE IF YOU HURRY AND GET US BIG AGAIN.

WE MISSED THE MOVIE,

BUT THERE'S ANOTHER ONE IN HALF AN HOUR.

AMY, I'M NOT REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THE MOVIE RIGHT NOW.

I'VE BEEN THROUGH ALL THIS, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT?

WE'VE HAD A FULL DAY.

LIKE THAT'S MY FAULT.

THIS IS A STRESSFUL SITUATION.

NOW IS NOT THE BEST TIME TO DISCUSS THIS.

I'M NOT THE ONE WITH THE WACKY INVENTOR FOR A DAD.

JACK, AMY, WHY DON'T WE TAKE A DEEP BREATH?

AND FORGET ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

GREAT IDEA, DAD. I'LL FORGET ABOUT IT.

I'LL FORGET ABOUT OUR DATE, ABOUT GOING OUT,

AND MAYBE I'LL JUST FORGET ABOUT YOU

WHEN YOU GO OFF TO COLLEGE.

WELL, NOT IF I FORGET ABOUT YOU FIRST.

I'M SORRY WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?

I DON'T INTRODUCE MYSELF

TO PEOPLE I'VE NEVER MET BEFORE.

OKAY, LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU FORGET EACH OTHER ALL YOU WANT,

BUT DO IT LATER?

RIGHT NOW WE'VE ALL GOT TO WORK TOGETHER

TO GET OURSELVES BACK TO NORMAL SIZE AGAIN.

YOU DO KNOW HOW TO GET US BACK TO NORMAL, DON'T YOU?

WELL, OF COURSE, TECHNICALLY, YES.

WHAT MEANS THIS "TECHNICALLY"?

THE PROBLEM IS OBVIOUSLY THE RAY'S NEW MASTER SWITCH.

IF I CAN GET OVER THERE AND FIX IT,

THE RAY WILL BE BACK TO IT'S OLD SELF,

BUT I'D BE STUCK THERE

WITH NO RAY TO RESTORE US TO NORMAL SIZE.

UH, I'M A LITTLE NEW

TO THIS WHOLE BEING SMALL THING,

BUT WHY DON'T WE JUST CALL A REPAIRMAN?

DADDY, COULD YOU TELL MR. STRANGER OVER HERE

THAT SINCE THE WRIST-COM ISN'T WORKING

AND, HELLO, THERE'S NO PHONE,

THAT CALLING REALLY ISN'T AN OPTION?

ALL RIGHT. WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S NOT SUCH A DUMB IDEA.

DAD, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE.

I'M ON WHATEVER SIDE IT IS THAT GETS US BIG AGAIN.

WE DON'T HAVE A PHONE OVER HERE,

BUT WE HAVE A JACK!

NO, NOT YOU, JACK, A PHONE JACK.

SEE, I CAN JACK INTO THIS JACK,

AND VOILà -- THE SZALINSKIS PHONE HOME.

BETTER YET, WE PHONE MOM.

"IN CLOSING, I'M THE RUBBER, YOU'RE THE GLUE."

WHAT?

DIANE, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

OH, I AM SORRY, TRUDY. I'M A LITTLE DISTRACTED.

I'M EXPECTING A PHONE CALL.

IT SHOULD HAVE COME HOURS AGO.

IS IT SOMETHING IMPORTANT?

MAYBE.

REALLY? GOOD NEWS OR BAD?

GOOD, I HOPE.

OH. OKAY.

"I'M THE RUBBER. YOU ARE THE GLUE."

YOU KNOW, MAYBE I'LL CALL HOME.

THERE -- THIS SHOULD WORK.

EITHER THAT, OR I'LL BE BARBECUE.

DADDY, PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

I WILL.

[ BUSY SIGNAL ]

IT'S BUSY. LET ME TRY AGAIN.

HMM, STRANGE.

[ BUSY SIGNAL ]

WHO COULD SHE BE TALKING TO?

[ BUSY SIGNAL ]

BUSY? WHAT'S UP WITH CALL WAITING?

WAITING, WAITING -- WHAT TIME IS IT?

JAKE'S GOING TO BE AT THE RESTAURANT ALREADY.

WE HAVE GOT TO GO.

COME ON. I'VE GOT TO GO BREAK HIS LITTLE HEART.

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON. YOU CAN CALL LATER.

COME ON!

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

MISS TRUDY, WOULD YOU DO ME AND MR. BOBO THE HONOR OF...

MISS TRUDY, MR. BOBO HERE HAS SOMETHING

HE'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU.

MAYBE SZALINSKI WAS RIGHT.

THE PUPPET ISN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

WHERE IS HE, ANYWAY?

FIRST, IT'S BUSY. NOW SHE'S NOT THERE?

I WONDER WHERE SHE --

[ TELEPHONE RINGS LOUDLY ]

[ RING ]

DADDY, MAKE IT STOP!

HELLO!

WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?

I'M GOING TO KEEP MISS TRUDY WAITING.

NOW, I'M NOT AN EXPERT IN THESE THINGS,

BUT IN THIS SITUATION, IT CAN'T BE GOOD.

CHIEF, I'M SORRY. I SAID I'D BE THERE,

BUT A LITTLE SOMETHING HAS COME UP.

THAT'S THE WAY DAD.

YOU CAN'T LET ME DOWN HERE, SZALINSKI, I'M COUNTIN' ON YA.

CHIEF, I'LL BE THERE. IT'LL JUST TAKE A LITTLE MORE TIME.

OKAY.

MEET ME IN THE LOUNGE. WE'LL GO IN TOGETHER.

I CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU.

Okay, Chief.

OH, BOY...

DAD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? HE COULD HELP US.

I KNOW, I KNOW. I JUST COULDN'T TELL HIM.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE HAS IMPORTANT THINGS ON HIS MIND.

IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THERE'S SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT.

TRUST ME, WHEN YOU'RE OLDER, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.

THE POINT IS WE'VE GOT TO FIND A WAY

TO FIX THE SHRINK RAY

AND STILL HAVE SOMEONE WHO CAN OPERATE IT.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

KIDS, GIVE ME A HAND.

YES.

SEE, I CAN FLY THIS OVER THE SHRINK RAY

AND FIX IT.

OH, THIS IS A HISTORIC DAY.

YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A MR. THINGIE?

THIS? NO, IT'S A PLATE POLISHER.

NEVER COULD GET THE THING TO WORK RIGHT,

BUT IT SURE LOOKS SCARY.

WE'VE COMBUSTED MYRON.

SO THIS WAS HIS PLAN.

HE CAN'T EVEN FACE ME.

HE WAS GOING TO DUMP ME BY DITCHING ME.

WELL, I GUESS I WILL JUST HAVE TO MAIL HIM

HIS DEAR JAKE LETTER.

TRUDY...

HE'S HERE, AND HE'S GOT FLOWERS.

IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A BREAKUP TO ME.

WELL, YOU WILL LOOK AT HIM.

HE'S HAPPY HE'S GOING TO BE DUMPING ME.

OH, AND HE IS SO HANDSOME.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M NEVER GOING TO SEE HIM, THAT LOUSE.

HEY, IS THERE A MESSAGE FOR ME

FROM A WAYNE SZALINSKI?

NEVER MIND.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T DO THIS,

NOT WITHOUT HIM.

I NEED HIM.

He's coming.

MISS TRUDY, I-I...

MISS TRUDY...

OH!

OH, THERE MUST BE SOME SORT OF EXPLANATION, TRUDY.

NO, THERE'S NOT!

[ SIGHS ]

[ Sobbing ] HE JUST DOESN'T LOVE ME.

SHH, SHH.

GIVE ME A PUSH. I'M GOING TO NEED HELP WITH THE LIFTOFF.

YES, SIR.

DADDY...ONCE AGAIN, PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

I ALWAYS AM, AMES.

Amy: READY?

AAH!

DADDY, NO!

AAH!

AAH!

I GOT IT, AMES.

IT'S UNDER CONTROL.

CONTACT!

OH, I CAN'T LOOK.

NO WONDER da VINCI NEVER BUILT THIS THING.

OH!

OH, TRUDY, IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO GIVE HIM HIS LETTER.

WHY DON'T WE GO HOME AND GIVE HIM A CALL?

HE'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, I'M SURE.

FINE, BUT AFTER THAT I'M NEVER SPEAKING TO HIM AGAIN.

OKAY.

HE'S GOING TO CRASH.

WATCH OUT!

TO THE RIGHT!

TO THE LEFT -- I MEAN THE RIGHT!

AAH!

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

THIS WAS JUST A JOKE, THAT'S ALL.

I NEVER THOUGHT MYRON WOULD ACTUALLY COMBUST.

YOU KNOW, I WONDER WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE.

YOU KNOW, WAS IT LIKE KABOOM,

OR WAS IT MORE LIKE A SIZZLE?

I-I WAS JUST WONDERING.

SZALINSKI!

NICK, JOEL, WHERE'S YOUR FATHER?

I MEAN, I'M YOUR FATHER, OF COURSE.

I MEAN NICK'S FATHER.

NO, NO. I DON'T MEAN I'M NICK'S FATHER. I MEAN --

OH, BLAST! WHERE'S SZALINSKI?

WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

WE'RE INNOCENT.

SZALINSKI!

THERE IT IS! AAH!

OHH!

[ GASPS ]

OUCH.

MISSION ONE ACCOMPLISHED.

SZALINSKI, WHERE ARE YOU?

CHIEF, NO! STAY BACK!

SZALINSKI?

CHIEF!

WHAT?

OH, GREAT.

WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE RESTAURANT?

I CAN'T ASK TRUDY TO MARRY ME WITHOUT YOU.

YOU SAID YOU'D BE THERE.

AND I WANTED TO BE, AND I AM THERE FOR YOU.

I'M JUST HERE THERE, INSTEAD OF THERE THERE.

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

A LITTLE WOOZY,

GOT BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH,

SAME AS I'VE HAD FOR DAYS.

OH, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

I LEFT MISS TRUDY SITTING THERE AT THE RESTAURANT.

I FROZE.

I WAS A CHICKEN.

YOU'RE ALSO 3 INCHES TALL.

HUH? AAH!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?

CONGRATULATIONS, CHIEF.

YOU'RE ONE OF THE FIRST CITIZENS OF MATHESON

TO BE INTRODUCED

TO MY NEW TOP-SECRET, SUPER-TOP-SECRET SHRINK RAY.

CHIEF, YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME?

WHY SHOULD I BE?

WITHOUT MISS TRUDY...

I FEEL THIS SMALL ALREADY.

OH, CHIEF.

[ QUARK BARKS ]

QUARK, IT'S UP TO YOU NOW, BUDDY.

GO GET HELP.

WE COULD ALWAYS USE THE TIME HOPPER

AND GO BACK THE MOMENT BEFORE IT HAPPENED

AND ALTER HISTORY.

THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.

MORE DANGEROUS THAN CALLING MYRON'S MOTHER

AND EXPLAINING WHAT HAPPENED?

[ GIGGLES ]

YOU GUYS REALLY THOUGHT I COMBUSTED?

Together: MYRON?

MYRON.

OH, NO, THE FLOWERS.

DIANE, JAKE'S HERE. I CAN'T FACE HIM.

I'VE GOT TO GO.

YOU HAVE TO FACE HIM TRUDY

AND GET THIS OVER WITH ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

COME ON.

[ BARKS ]

WHAT'S WRONG, QUARKIE?

[ BARKS ]

COME ON.

[ GROANS ]

COME ON, SHOW ME. GOOD. SHOW ME.

MOM, OVER HERE!

WAYNE? KIDS?

DIANE, OVER HERE!

HONEY?

DOWN HERE!

AMY? JACK?

[ GASPS ]

Amy: HI.

HOLD ON.

JAKE?

Trudy: JAKEY?

MISS TRUDY.

[ BOTH SIGHING ]

ALL RIGHT, PREPARE FOR BLAST NUMBER ONE.

ALL RIGHT.

THANKS, MOM.

THANKS, MRS. S.

YOU'LL EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO ME LATER, RIGHT?

YEAH, AS SOON AS THE SHOCK WEARS OFF.

Wayne: ANY TIME NOW.

OKAY, HONEY, LET'S GO.

NUMBER TWO.

NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT.

JAKE, IF YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY,

DON'T YOU THINK IT COULD WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE, OH,

FULL-SIZE AGAIN?

NO, I'VE GOT TO DO THIS WHILE I'VE GOT THE GUTS.

I'VE BEEN A COWARD LONG ENOUGH.

MISS TRUDY?

HE WANTS TO TALK.

I DON'T WANT TO. COME ON, TRUDY.

FINE.

YES, CHIEF McKE--

AW, LOOK HOW CUTE YOU ARE.

MISS TRUDY, AS YOU KNOW,

YOU AND I HAVE BEEN STEPPING OUT

FOR QUITE A WHILE NOW,

I MEAN, PITCHING WOO, COURTING,

WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, JAKEY?

AW, WHAT THE HECK.

WHY MAKE THIS ANY HARDER THAN IT ALREADY IS?

AHEM.

I-I GOT A RING AND EVERYTHING.

OF COURSE, IT WON'T FIT NOW, BUT...

WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY IS...

MISS TRUDY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES.

YES! HA HA HA!

DID THEY -- DID HE JUST SAY --

YES, HE DID.

WHOO-HOO!

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

OH, I'LL GET IT.

Wayne: WATCH THE SHOUTING.

AME'S?

HANG ON DAD.

NOW YES, YES, YES, YES!

WHAT'S GOING ON? IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

JAKE AND TRUDY ARE GETTING MARRIED.

WOW!

I HATE IT WHEN I MISS A MEETING.

DIANE, I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THIS MESS.

I CERTAINLY DIDN'T MEAN TO SHRINK THE KIDS.

AND I PROMISS IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

I KNOW I SAID I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE SHRINK RAY.

I'LL LOCK IT UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY.

DAD YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

HONEY.

NO, NO, DON'T TRY AND STOP ME.

WITHOUT IT, I MANAGED TO DO IMPORTANT THINGS.

I HELPED JAKE AND TRUDY GET ENGAGED.

WELL, I SORT OF -- SORT OF HELPED,

BUT I SAVED JACK AND AMY'S LIFE,

EVEN THOUGH WITHOUT ME TAMPERING WITH THE MACHINE,

THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN IN DANGER, BUT --

HONEY, HONEY, HONEY, YOU'VE DONE

ONE OTHER VERY, VERY, VERY IMPORTANT THING,

AND I THINK I SHOULD TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

REALLY?

YOU KNOW THAT PHONE CALL I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR?

SURE.

KIDS, HONEY...

I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY.

WELL?

WELL...

THIS IS A BETTER DAY FOR THE SZALINSKIS

AND THE SOON-TO-BE McKENNAS.

COULD THIS DAY HAVE A HAPPIER ENDING? I DON'T KNOW HOW.

HONEY, YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS QUICK.

I'VE GOT AN APPOINTMENT TOMORROW

I REALLY CAN'T MISS.

OKAY. UH, HEY, QUARK.