Original subtitles

[Music]

oh hello david hello joe how are you

what's going on with your mask man man i

just [ __ ] with you

i just want to see how you react oh this

rona talk all this rona talk sick of it

yeah yeah headphones are no headphones

oh i'm going to do it i'll do the phone

okay

there you go i just don't want to be the

only one no no that's all good

yeah i turn him up right here yeah check

check check there we go

what's up fingers he's over there type

in every few minutes he goes like this

let's go

let's do this [ __ ] so first of all man

congratulations you're the first guy to

beat the system

you're the first guy to get [ __ ] over

by the system go public with it

and then get your money i've never heard

it happen before i don't think it's ever

happened before

bro bro i i still can't wrap my mind

around it but i do have to shout out

uh chris mccarthy over with cbs viacom

that guy

you know when we were working this out

his approach was someone who was

actually trying to

resolve something came through it was

amazing man it's amazing

it's a happy ending because usually

those artist gripes they never get

resolved

not not to where the artist feels

comfortable or happy with it

right they always feel bitter and angry

they got [ __ ] over and someone else is

a producer and they're making millions

of dollars off of your work and

they continue to sell it and make money

off of it and well i can say i could say

with a with a high degree of honesty not

to say i was never angry about it

but i don't think i was ever like bitter

yeah by this point in my life

you would joke about it you were angry

about it

but not to the point where it [ __ ]

with your head but you would joke about

it

well i mean you know you know the bottom

line is no matter what happens to you

you got to keep going you got to keep

going and bitterness is quite cumbersome

yeah it's bad for you right so you know

jokes is a way of shaking that off

or processing something with the alchemy

of levity yeah

holding grudges bitterness shit's very

bad for you it doesn't ever help

no and now we're getting on an age you

know what i mean we were younger it's

fine a hold of gretch you didn't realize

that you know

you didn't realize it was [ __ ] with

you what is that expression that it's

about oh it's about jealousy the

jealousy is the only poison

that that affects the container that's

holding it right

that's exactly right yeah the bitterness

the same thing same thing

yeah it's not good yeah it's just not

good for you

you got to be able to let you go yeah

i mean but in your case

you made a ploy like you you said

what happened how you felt about it and

they were like he's right

i think yeah he's given the money it

wasn't it wasn't uh a court of law i

don't believe i would have got anything

it's kind of amazing a court of law i

think in a court of public opinion it

was a good time

for me to yeah to save my peace and and

through the years

it wasn't something that i would harp on

when i did interviews and stuff people

would always ask me about it but it was

something i was actually reluctant to

talk about it was a lot

yeah well it's hard for other people to

relate to this idea that you want more

money

you know you're talking about regular

people and you're saying

this thing even though it is yours money

is hard for people

money is if if you look at life anything

in life through the framework of money

you'll you'll miss most of the picture

yeah

and and you know in

in business especially this stage in our

careers

you realize through the years people

play incentives

you know what i mean that if they

incentivize a certain way that's

the way they're going to behave so so

what they want

is never really surprising how they get

there

is where all the surprises are so i feel

like

i can forgive somebody for playing an

incentive

it was disappointing but what was so

remarkable when i

walked away from the show right is that

uh it was against

incentive so people couldn't understand

it at the time it was

so much money how could you do that and

blah blah blah but you know

if i had taken that money and finished

the show i would have got the money but

i might never have been the same

i think it was one of the most gangster

moves in the history of entertainment

well

it made you a legend and the fact that

you you then started doing shows like

i heard like dave's doing a show in the

park in seattle he's got like a box he

pulls out a speaker and just starts

doing stand up that was important yeah

i i because but because in that sense it

was freeing

yeah something about you know i was

geared a certain way growing up because

i wanted to make it in show business and

and and boy that [ __ ] fell all up all

the way apart

and as far as i knew my career was over

so where'd he go from there

yeah but your career wasn't over you

just decided and you were gonna just

sort of

lay back for a while in hindsight yeah

but when it was happening you really

felt like it was over

i never seen these things before i

didn't see anyone else do this and

and get back up i didn't see uh you know

and the drum beat is he's crazy smokes

crackers this is that

it was a while it was a wild experience

the way people

close to you react to it like like i had

failed or i'd ruined

my life you know uh

and then and then you know when you're

cold that phone don't ring that often

right and then i and then i had over a

decade of

of sitting in that choice but i didn't

languish in just that

experience i started doing stand-up for

for much better reasons than making it

i still enjoyed it i i started seeing

the places where i was performing

normally when you're like successful in

comedy

you know you get off the plane or the

bus you hit you do the hit you go back

to the hotel you get back on the bus you

don't really see anything you don't

really yeah like even now like this this

last run we did

here in austin we was here for weeks and

then i got to see

austin i got to find restaurants i like

i met people that i probably call

because i'm in town stuff like that and

it was like that all over the world not

just the country

i started going around just seeing the

world

i got overwhelmed with this idea that

none of my uh information was first

hand i just read it in books i heard it

from friends and i was eager to just

just see something for myself and and i

kind of

entrenched this philosophy that my

memories are are some of the most

valuable things that i have

these first-hand experiences yeah can't

take it away from if i if i

reminisce on a nice day then you know it

feeds you

remembering something is neurologically

almost identical i've read

to experiencing it yeah i think

that there's a real value in having

experiences where you

you do it on purpose like you go

someplace

to have experiences and and think about

having those experiences

because most of the time you know like

when we like you were saying if we do

shows

you just kind of show up you do the show

and then you go home but if you like set

aside some days

to do things like that's very valuable

for your perspective which is ultimately

valuable for your act

it's valuable for everything because

you're you're choosing to take in more

information and data specifically to

enhance your perspective on life

right you learn things yeah you you gain

perspective which is very valuable for a

comedian

and a person and uh it's humbling and

it's empowering at the same time

yeah because we know comics like that

was a big theme during like the 90s

right where comics would all tell the

same stories about being on the road

they were all the jokes were about

airplane travel airline jokes hotel food

and that kind of [ __ ] and the maid do

not disturb knocking on your door

because that's what they related to

right the road warriors yeah that was

what that's that was their life's

perspective

and it kind of shows that

experiences interesting experiences are

very valuable but you don't think of

them as valuable you think of them as

recreational but they really are

valuable

right and i call you know any any

information is valuable i call it the

expensive knowledge right

it's like your buddy that's a war

veteran or something you don't want to

know the [ __ ]

he knows if you knew what he had to do

to know these things that's that's what

they call expensive knowledge i would

not recommend

quitting your show the way i did yeah if

you can avoid it

yeah but you but it was the way you did

it was so cool

because you know you kind of drifted off

i promised i wasn't trying to be cool

it was it was a series of

troubleshooting it's like [ __ ] man

like

what are you gonna do you gotta you

gotta whatever you go through

you gotta you gotta live you gotta make

a way and and find your happiness and

and you know i'm lucky i'm in this i'm

in i'm in show business which is

a pretty uh it's a multi-dimensional

career path

this thing could go a lot of ways yeah

especially today oh my god yeah

so strange oh yeah and another time

would i've ever gotten that money i

don't think so no because there have

been no social media

no pressure right no dropping specials

on the gram no

you know no comments section no

moveon.org no

and if you had gone to say like

uh the tonight show and made a pitch

like that they probably wouldn't even

aired it

no of course not i had a gripe with

someone that owned a six of the media

yeah they weren't gonna do tell the

media on them

it's never gonna work right they would

they would definitely edit that part out

be like why is dave's section only four

minutes long yeah edit it

spin it whatever whatever it is they do

but

yeah but uh again you know all parties

involved i thought

in repairing that situation and i don't

want going all into

what those conversations were like other

than to say and this is not like

i'm just happy because they paid me it

was class act it was like

that's beautiful it really was it it

wasn't it was a

very encouraging that is very

encouraging i

think that coming up behind us these

kids uh

are gonna be playing in a whole new ball

game that we did

i hope so i think there's more

accountability now

because of the internet because of uh

you know

people's ability to express themselves

is so much different than it used to be

so you can't just be some

ruthless evil executives [ __ ] over

the artist like they did

during the you know in the music

business and i mean it's legendary the

music business

is legendary for doing that man look

first of all we gotta get into this

music business thing in a second but i

was looking on the internet

uh it was a bunch of waitresses talking

about what celebrities did or didn't

tip them nobody can [ __ ] up anymore

that's true

yeah yeah they got a whole website this

is dedicated to bad tippers

yeah all of a sudden breaking news ellen

degeneres is a [ __ ]

what what

knows by the way i like getting a lot

i'm just saying it's

this is what we're faced with yeah i i i

don't know personalities get yelped

yeah but the thing is like if you talk

to enough people

you're gonna have disagreements with

people and if someone accumulates

if they curate only those disagreements

and only take it from the perspective of

those people that you had

problems with they could paint you out

to be a piece of [ __ ]

even if you're a really nice person who

just doesn't take any nonsense from

people

if you talk to enough nonsense people

you're going to have enough conflicts

if they only curate those conflicts and

make like a compilation

like dave talked to this guy and told

him to eat [ __ ]

well that's why i usually don't do

interviews

because i feel like this is about fame

in general and i see you go through

similar [ __ ]

it's like they blow you up like a

balloon and twisting all these wild

shapes

like a balloon animal yeah this once

once you're in that thing

they can control the perception of you

that's

why [ __ ] with it gaslighting yeah the

gaslight people

and and you know again

people play incentives i'll give an

example you know i'm not

years ago not that long ago you remember

when all those

writings of gandhi came out they're like

all this really

racist [ __ ] have you ever read this i

did

yeah and you know the context of that at

the time he wrote those things he was an

attorney in south africa

and south africa had a racist legal

system

and in order to be successful he had to

be

a good racist and he was just succeeding

i'm sure he wasn't writing all this

[ __ ] [ __ ] in in

india i shouldn't have said that but you

know

i forgot i was on we're on the internet

it's fun

didn't uh gandhi there's people that

were upset at him because he slept with

a bunch of girls too right they didn't

like

they meet yeah i think he tempted

himself

by sleeping i think that was the the way

he described it

like he would sleep with young girls to

tempt himself

yeah i think that was the evil knievel

of [ __ ] and

now i will tempt myself what the [ __ ] is

this um i think i'm remembering that

correct

that's why i tell my wife i'm going to

teddy bar to tempt myself yeah he

tortured himself

tortured himself is that what's about

the torture yeah let's get this right

because i actually revere

uh [ __ ] ad bloggers uh sexual

tournament of a saint a new book reveals

gandhi tortured himself with the young

women who worshipped him

and often shared his bed yeah and so

daily mail so this has got to be true

[Laughter]

uh he was killed by an assassin in 1946

huh

wow well that part was in the movie i

don't know about all this torturing

himself i thought it was later then they

just show a picture of him walking with

him you know we don't know

i don't know but go go back to what it

said there gandhi

uh a london-trained lawyer-turned-guru

was a ruthless cult leader who enslaved

his followers

with such bizarre sexual demands that it

became difficult for many people to take

him seriously even during his own

lifetime

what crazy books oh it claims gandhi

naked ambition claims that gandhi

wrote a book called gandhi naked

ambition yeah

uh goes so far as to suggest that the

draconian practices instituted by this

iconic figure

in the ashrams he found it prompted the

perverted 20th century cults of jim

jones in jonestown guy okay

okay all right then someone wrote this

book i look at gandhi as the person that

that fought against white supremacy in

his homeland so there you go

yeah so you like people [ __ ] up a

little bit yeah i'm sorry you like to

lay down and get hard on that's a big

deal i'm sorry i brought that up i

didn't know naked ambition just hit the

stance

jose gandi what's it called yeah but how

would anyone know

whether nadi tortured himself like is

that his

does his writing say that does he did he

talk about it openly did he like to

just get blue bald yes lay there yeah

see it's that though man like

it's all this like you know

i hate the debunking of great legacy

right right right right

you know i mean like like imagine how

how the whites might feel they tear down

a

civil war statue this kind of thing to

me is that

my equivalent there like oh now we're

debunking gandhi it was really funny

when they started tearing down statues

trump was like what are they going to do

next they're going to tear down george

washington and everybody's like well

that's ridiculous they're not going to

do that

and then they started tearing down

george washington statues they'll they'd

tear down all the statues

i mean i mean i i mean george washington

did own slaves he did

yeah yeah so did thomas jefferson

yeah yeah yeah yeah many of the framers

yeah

it's but it's one of those things where

it's

you shouldn't revere what they did but

what a statue is supposed to represent

is here's an image of some person who's

extort

historically significant and established

in the country

doesn't mean right that's the analogy

yeah to me gandhi fought against white

supremacy yeah and

and was very successful and then they

decades later start tearing the statue

man yeah

all that the worst thing he did was get

hard-ons well yeah i mean

lay there and get tortured well yeah i'm

not yeah now i'm not trying to put no

value judgment on any of this [ __ ] i'm

just saying he

he did expel the brit the british

peacefully yeah

which was unprecedented in the world a

peaceful

expulsion of of oppressors yeah

it's interesting how peaceful protests

like peaceful protest resonance

for years and years and years and when

someone does something significant like

remember that image i'm sure you do

of that uh there's a video of it of uh a

monk

in vietnam lighting himself on fire

it's on the cover of one of the rage

rage against machine albums yeah it was

it was crazy crazy but everybody

remembers that

yeah there was another guy who did that

underneath the window of the pentagon

here in the united states during the

vietnam war

oh did he yeah white fella i can't

remember his name

that's the way to go i mean but but

gandhi didn't call it a peaceful protest

he called it

civil disobedience the idea being that i

will not participate

in my own oppression it's a fine idea

it's a good idea yeah why would anybody

concentrate on the hard-ons

yeah yeah you know what i mean yeah yeah

he's dear you

guys got so much [ __ ] let me tell you

about this

[Laughter]

he didn't even do anything he just laid

there yeah i said

that's it that's a weird move though

what they're just laying there and get

hard and go like

beat it [ __ ] go get some sleep

it's crazy i think that uh

i don't know man i don't know where this

culture is headed

i don't know what the [ __ ] everybody's

doing anymore it's covered here

like i'm a little i'm a little packed

away you know i've been out yeah

but it's doing something to us

collectively like we talked about this

the last time i was here and i told you

i was going to come to the show i wasn't

bullshitting remember that day i said

i'll come after the inauguration

because we all smell that coming yeah

it's

it's a tough one it's a weird one we're

being tested

it's testing the foundations of our

culture the foundations of our

civilizations testing how

well we can be peaceful with each other

and make sense and get along and how

much we value

getting along with each other and how

much there's just so much divisiveness

because

we've never been there's never been a

time in history where the whole

economy and the whole society basically

just got frozen for a year and stuck in

some weird

weird sort of side patch where we had to

figure things out fresh and people lost

like how many people lost their jobs how

many people lost their lives

how many people lost their grandparents

their loved ones that's right yeah

it's it was a weird [ __ ] year and

everybody's very sensitive

and everybody's quick to pull the

trigger and then you got everybody

who's there's so many people that have

just been online all day long

this whole year and that's not good for

you i still think at the core of all of

this

uh this what you call weirdness is is

these profound

trust issues you know it's like i said

on letterman

these people that hoarded toilet paper

and hoarded

and and you know went and bought bullets

out and

you know this none of these things are

good signs i think that something about

the nature of covert punched us square

in our

american identity we're individualists

well you know

the the mask and all these things that

aren't actually i don't think are

actually oppressive

but i can see why americans would feel

they are

yeah they just don't trust the messenger

anymore there's too many mixed signals

it's hard in the beginning when fouch

was saying you don't have to wear a mask

and then eventually they were saying you

gotta wear one that was a huge mistake i

agree

yeah if you if you give people

information that it may

may not be true even if you have the

intention of having them

behave in a way that's beneficial for

everybody the misinformation the way you

achieve these things

the separation from ends and means can

be

a profound problem if you're managing

something like a nation

of 300 plus million people

you need we need to be able to trust the

institution

so now you'll hear americans say [ __ ]

like they should fix this they should

fix that but in reality the idea is

we are they nobody feels that way right

now well we did before i think

people had faith in the government in

the sense that worst case scenario even

if they're incompetent

everything will stay together now you

realize no

no it doesn't have to stay together it

can be

irreversibly [ __ ] like i think some of

our cities are right now i think there's

some

there's some sections of la i don't know

how the [ __ ] they're going to bounce

back you drive down the street and you

see everything boarded up you go

how does this come back how long does it

take does it take a year does it take 10

years like what is

what is this and i have no point of

reference to even make an educated guess

i've never seen any of this before

but i'll tell you like okay so my

experience during cove but i live in

ohio i don't live in a coffs distance

from anyone i don't know

you know what i mean it's open space

it's so

we were isolated but it wasn't

oppressive i was gonna go outside i

could take a walk like

whatever i go to new york i was telling

you

maybe a couple weeks ago when they

opened all the comedy clubs back up you

know just to show support

uh for the clubs that nurtured you know

my career early on

and and it was it was a tough one i i've

been there

before like uh the saturday night live

week

that week was you know unseasonably warm

biden had just won that weekend so

people were celebratory

this time around i got a sense of the

emotional carnage

that happened in that city and it was

it was significant it was palpable like

you would notice i did

and to hear them say it's like things

are getting better and i'm like better

because i hadn't seen new york since it

was like incredibly healthy

you know in a non-covered time i've

heard a 2 trillion dollar

economy just in the five boroughs of new

york i don't know what's going on there

now

you know restaurants open limited

capacity people

takes it takes courage just to go to a

coffee shop or this that or the other

especially with this this problem of uh

trust being in deficit yeah

it's a tough one well it's also a lot of

people are moving out

when people are moving out you get the

sense like it's an abandoned ship like

it's a sinking ship and then people

don't want to invest money in it

they don't know what to do they're not

sure if they should stay

they start looking at other states where

things are open maybe we should just

move

maybe we should forget about this

business and start fresh in florida or

move to texas or whatever yeah i can't

imagine new york city not coming back

from this

it'll come back it just won't come back

the same it's going to be different it's

going to take a long time

do you think anything will be the same

as it it'll take a minute bro

it'll take a minute it'll be a new

normal though well even

austin like it's not the same it's

actually bigger

it's growing this city grew i'm sure

grew i'm sure a lot of people from the

bay

moved here for the tech job yep the

weather's good yep

the restrictions on is impressive people

are nicer too

that's that's the big one for me my

feelings here are different i feel

uh i have less anxiety here i feel like

people are nicer they're genuinely

friendly but do you think that

people are nicer do you think the

circles you were rolling in

in california weren't as nice no it's

just genuine

regular people that you meet like

there's a guy in my neighborhood i look

forward to waving to this guy every day

he's an old dude who works on his lawn

and this [ __ ] will wave at

everybody who drives by he's

there digging and looking you see the

car he's like no that's hilarious and

every every day i see that guy i get

ready

i get ready i'm gonna wave to my friend

i see him i'm like hey waves at me

make a little eye contact it feels good

i never got that in california nobody

ever stopped from

digging in their lawn to look up and

wave at you at every car that passes by

this guy waves at every car

that's sweet it's sweet how old is this

guy probably 70s 80s

okay older fella cause a guy my age

would be weird

nobody wanna see that [ __ ] yeah that's a

little odd he's a little too friendly

call the police

yeah 20 year old kids doing laundry

out there waving at everybody hilarious

yeah no it's

it's age-appropriate but he's uh it's

just there's friendly people out here

man there's less of them

people value people when they're not a

burden

when you get to you know 20 million

people or whatever the [ __ ] la is

people uh they lose their value they

become annoying there's too many of them

in the highway in front of you there's

too many of them around you

you know well let me ask you this what

what is

the mechanics of your daylight is your

day mechanically

the same as l.a minus the comedy obvious

just covert

but i would imagine you work out a few

hours a day no matter where you are

you do your show a few hours a day yeah

if you're here or there

you kick it with your wife a few hours a

day and the kids

what else what else do you do here that

you don't do that

it's just quieter it just feels better

it feels better

it feels better like i just like

i like the vibe of the city better how

so

it's like no one's trying to be famous

here

there's a thing in hollywood even if

you're not a person who's in show

business

maybe you had an ambition and you

abandoned it or maybe you think like now

because of reality shows and because of

social media maybe you don't even have

to be famous

for your talent you just have to be

famous like look at the kardashians and

a lot of people that are famous just for

being famous

like there's a weird there's a weird

currency

in having a lot of people know who you

are there's a social status to that that

exists in la that

is primary it's above all it's above all

all right well let me say this first of

all when i remember meeting you in the

90s

this thing never really seemed to affect

you

you seemed serious about comedy i i

i heard whispering that you did kung fu

you know but you weren't like uh you

would you mean you were

social with all the comedians but you

weren't like the hangout kind of guy you

always off doing your own thing and even

this podcast

even though it grew to be a big thing

when it started i don't even think he

would start it with the intention i'm

gonna blow this [ __ ] up

you just did it yeah there was never a

thought of blowing it up it was just

silly

there's a video it was a funny video

that was in the comments tour

documentary tom segura

leaving my house uh talking about

leaving my house and talking to redband

saying what is he doing why does he do

this and he's like

i don't know he just he wants to do it

all the time he wants to do this stupid

[ __ ] podcast

that no one's listening to yeah it's

dope it's dope

i mean but at that time and even still

the way i remember la

it's winter circle yeah and earlier in

my career like if you're doing well in

l.a like

now it's fun as [ __ ] out there you know

all the ropes open up and uh oh mr

chappelle and they

accommodate you expertly because they're

so proficient with hospitality

yeah but if you're not doing good

they'll remind you just as quick

yeah it makes you feel bad it makes you

feel bad i've seen people

the look on their face when you pass

through the line and the security guard

goes oh come on come on up here

and the other people that are waiting

they watch you walk through they feel

terrible

oh god i hope not because i do it all

the time

i'm a rope crossing [ __ ]

no more waiting for me but you know what

i'm saying

like for those people that are in that

line to be that person that gets called

to the front of the line and

the doors just open that they grab that

velvet rope oh mr chappelle

right flagrant elitism yeah they love it

they love it they wish it was them

yeah and they want to be hanging with

you maybe if i'm hanging with dave i'll

get through that rope

yeah yeah yeah i'm with uh dave oh oh

you're with dave

come on in i told you the first time i

met denzel washington the guy did that

to me came with my table like

you know dave i hate to bother you but

uh denzel washington is here would you

like to meet him i'm like oh my god yeah

and he brings me up to the table wow

denzel washington state chapel

i'm like oh my god he's denzel very

gracious and then the guy goes and my

name is i'm like oh this [ __ ]

he used me it was wild out there

that's hilarious it's wild out there man

yeah it is wild

there's social climbers in la that that

it's a it's an art form

they're skilled they know they know how

to do it i think i moved to ohio

initially to be free yeah of these

feelings you described

yeah this idea that you know for you

know i started so young

that i didn't know how to untether the

rest of my life from

those interests and geography was the

quickest

life hack i i love the way you talk

about ohio i really do

i've always loved it i love the do you

do a lot of things that i think are

awesome

thanks bro just you've always been a

kind

person despite all of your success

all the accolades all the all the love

that you get you've never

let it never let it turn you into

someone

who felt like you were better than other

people like i've seen you

the way you interact with the door

people at the store that to me is

everything

right how do you how do you treat the

door staff how do you treat the

bartender are you friendly with all

those folks you know and if you're not

man you're kind of missing the whole

point like you can make someone's day

just

by being cool that's what always makes

me laugh about punky

yes she was she was the last time i saw

her she was a barback

now she's on snl the next time i saw her

she was rehearsing at snl that made me

feel real good for her she's amazing and

i thought of all the comedians that

might treat the bar backs like [ __ ]

you better be careful yeah right uh

security idris elba

the famous actor used to be a security

guard airlines yeah yeah he asked when

he should buy weed from him

you know you used to buy weed from idris

elbow yeah yeah i don't know if i had to

talk about it

yeah you could talk about it i did legal

now in new york yeah

you know he had a kickboxing fight he's

a legitimate muay thai fighter i heard

he's nice with it

oh yeah he's good and he fought a good

guy like it wasn't a [ __ ] fight it

was a fight

it wasn't like he went out there and

just knocked this guy out with one punch

they

described oh yeah it's a good fight and

he trained for a long time

like this pull up some video footage of

idris elba hitting the heavy bag

this i got to see idris elba's got

skills he trains hard

and he uh i think he did it for a

television show so i think they

documented his training and he trained

for

quite a long time and you know muay thai

is uh that's a

[ __ ] brutal way to fight kicking legs

and

is that the [ __ ] that they do in

thailand yeah that's the [ __ ] they do in

thailand

i went to the muay thai fights and look

at that yeah he's uh he's getting after

it

so he would train at this like legit

muay thai gym and you watch him i mean

if i saw him about to fight in the ufc

i'd go

[ __ ] not a good move

okay he got dropped there like he's

training he's doing

real i mean he's getting his legs kicked

the whole deal and you could tell that

this is uh you know they're not cutting

any corners he's doing the hard work

the real hard work

man i came across so here's his fight so

he had like a [ __ ]

real fight oh it's a real fight man a

real muay thai fight i mean they were

getting after it does it show in the

fight

also there's a whole documentary on it

if you think about most actors you know

too i don't know if they have

this kind of grit no humility to

to possibly get their ass whooped oh

yeah everybody that's the thing i mean

every human being get knocked the [ __ ]

out right we saw that with jorge

mazvidal

jorge mazdan when he got knocked out by

usman maz vidal been

he had an iron chin his whole [ __ ]

career he'd only been like dropped

a couple of times and he was fine every

time like dropped by

big guys like darren till dropped him

but i mean he's one of the best

strikers in the sport and then when

usman flatlined him

everybody's like oh [ __ ] everybody can

get knocked out the human brain

the human body the way your face is

constructed it's just not designed to

get punched

so look at this right here that could

have easily killed that would have

dropped me

yeah a good shot i mean this he's got

good defense though he's he fought well

he did everything well

i didn't see any fighter alive at the

press conference

but that [ __ ] forget it yeah it's

it is a real fight they're showing in

slow motion it was you know it's

it's hard hard fighting's hard it's hard

not to look sloppy

you know it's hard hard to look perfect

to get to a point where you're looking

like you know an andre berto or

floyd mayweather you know you gotta

it takes a long [ __ ] time to develop

that kind of timing and poise and

movement

a lifetime yeah forever so what he did

though is

it shows character that he took that

chance that's a rare person

well my kid was young my youngest son he

got really into boxing used to take him

down a wild card

right in hollywood we're in l.a and and

he trained with justin juco and [ __ ]

like that yeah

juco was a great trainer because he'd

make everything fun for my son

and my son got really into it and one

day he he was younger he's like i'm

gonna spar

somebody and so they put him in the ring

with this like this top

amateur contender little guy but you

know he was nice with it

and and my son in his little child talk

was like i'm gonna [ __ ] this guy up

no you're not they got in there and

you know he did all right but the gym

got real amped

and i remember one of the fighters came

over to me and was like this thing your

son has you can't

train that you're either this way or

you're not like he right

he's like tenacity yeah it's always

thought about that you can't train that

either this way you're not well some

people

that they can get better at it you can

get better at a tenacity you can get

better at mental strength

it's not totally innate like some people

are just born with it though

some people are ferocious from the jump

where did you fall in that spectrum

i don't remember because it took it was

so long ago

but i i always had um i always had

unusual power because uh i have a weird

frame like a very

large hands for my body and have wide

shoulders and i can generate a lot of

force

and so the problem with that is i would

load up

and it took me a long time do you mean

load up i would try to knock people out

all the time

was awesome like this is most taekwondo

tournaments like a lot of they get

they most of the fights are won by

points that won by decision

i won most of my fights by knockout a

lot of them by naka

maybe not most of them but i was always

trying to knock someone unconscious

what does it feel like to knock somebody

is it satisfying is it

does it scare you at all it's uh

it's shocking and it doesn't feel good

it never feels like

like great i would pretend it felt great

i'd be like yeah but meanwhile i was

like what the [ __ ]

right part of me would be like what the

[ __ ] it's it's always felt weird

there was one time that i never

recovered from when i was 19 years old i

fought in anaheim california

flew out here to fight in the nationals

won my first fight then i won my second

fight

i was fighting this kid and uh i was

there with just me

and my friend jung sick he was coaching

me he was cornering me

and this guy they had their whole team

with them and there's all these people

in the stands that were

i remember saying come on johnny get him

johnny get him johnny

and i knew this dude was just a little

slow and he was he was doing some things

and i was seeing some openings

and i hate him harder than i've ever had

anybody in my life i hit him with a

wheel kick

which is i hit him so hard i was limping

for a couple days afterwards because my

heel hurt

from hitting his head and i i flatlined

him he

face planted he started snoring and he

never got up

they carried him off in a stretcher he

was unconscious for half an hour

and they they eventually carried him off

put him in stretch or brought him to the

hospital but he literally never stood up

and walked around

and uh that's scary it scared the [ __ ]

out of me and

i liked the dude i didn't know the dude

he was from chicago

i was from boston and we just met in

california

that's what's weird about boxes like

beating

somebody up that you're not angry at

right it's a wild

thing to think about it is wild yeah

they do it all the time

you know a lot of mma fighters they're

good friends up until you know they a

lot of them train together

and then they go and they fight but i

went back to my instructor

and my instructor was a hard man he's a

korean dude who

had been taught by general chae young yi

who's the original founder of taekwondo

who used to train troops in vietnam i

mean this guy was

hard and when i went back and told mr

kim i said uh

you know we were talking about the

tournament he goes i heard you had a

really good knockout

and i said it was very scary i go uh

maybe nervous because he never got up i

mean i thought he was dead

and he goes sometimes they die

wow and then he walked away wow and then

i was like oh [ __ ]

they is me yeah how old were you then

19.

jeez and that was the decline of my

taekwondo career from that moment on

my fighting career i fought for a couple

more years but i lost a lot of my

enthusiasm

with that one fight did the fighting in

the stand-up overlap

they overlapped for three kickboxing

fights i had three kickboxing fights

while i was doing comedy and i wasn't

i wasn't committing a hundred percent to

either one of them

i was i was half in with both and then i

realized i couldn't do it anymore

and i actually got told by a dude who

was an open miker he

actually like said something that was so

true i couldn't even argue with him

he goes yeah he goes you started out

pretty funny he goes but he got he lost

steam somewhere along the line

and i remember looking at him and going

[ __ ] he's right

wait wait wait in what context did he

say this talking about comedy like who's

getting good who's getting bad we were

all like a year in you know we're all

struggling

and uh we were sitting around talking

about oh this guy's really funny and

that guy's really he's like yeah he

started out pretty good but

it seemed like you lost steam really he

wasn't even being mean to me he was just

being honest

what was he seeing i just wasn't his i

was it wasn't as

into it because i was still fighting i

was still doing both things

and i was still teaching i was still uh

teaching at boston university

um i taught a car so you started staying

up in boston yeah that's a weird circuit

it's a good circuit it's a great circuit

it was a weird it's an anomaly

it's a good it was a good place because

it was uh

they have no tolerance for [ __ ]

like there's no dilly dallying up there

they want punchlines set up punchlines

set up punch

bang bang bang they want they want

entertainment that's gone gavin don't be

late yeah yeah

don gavin lenny steve sweeney

yeah man i remember when i was when i

was a kid i used to catch train up the

boston

and work out with these kids yeah and it

was the first circuit i'd ever seen

guys making like six figures and never

leaving their city

it trapped them they would go to bars

and [ __ ] and

you think they played for the celtics or

something like the town embraced the

local comedians like they were stars

oh yeah in boston oh yeah like not like

nothing else

there's no other comparison to any other

city that's like that

what's the guy you should drink all the

time teddy bears oh yeah you remember

him oh yeah

well when he was in it he was a beast

teddy bergeron had one tonight show set

that was so [ __ ] brilliant

it was so brilliant and then apparently

he got [ __ ] up

on pills and booze and they made him

stick around but he came

he came back and he was so [ __ ] up on

drugs

that it like tanked his career like so

he had this one set that was

magic and he watched that set you're

like my god that guy might be the best

comic alive

he was so smooth i remember opening for

him oh he was so smooth

he was so good he was so good he was

such a smart guy too such a good writer

but

you know success in the demons i mean

that's why

one of the things that's very impressive

to me about people like you that manage

the success and doesn't change your

personality

you you whatever anxiety comes out of

all the pressure and all the all the

people paying attention to what you're

doing

you got you roll you roll with it you

handle it but some people don't

you know it's it's that scrutiny the

being

that the object of attention is

crippling for some people

i think early in my career it was i i

didn't know how to handle that

you know you know what i mean i was a

kid i was immature

it was it was a weird thing but you

still handled it well even though you

didn't know how to handle it

you figured it out like you did it it

was a struggle but you did you never

became an [ __ ]

no no you never fell apart i think life

is too just humiliating of a

practice you know i mean no matter how

you feel about yourself you give me more

take that first [ __ ] of the day you're

you're in person

yeah yeah yeah fingers is like gross

no it is true it's true it's true

yeah i mean the more things that i do

that are humiliating

or humbling humbling's probably better

word more things i do that are humbling

the better it is for me well the thing i

like about your comedy origin story like

i was fighting i was teaching

he said and i was doing stand-up i

didn't commit to all of them but now

that sounds like the recipe for

everything you do well

the things i do now they enhance the

other things it's like if i'm doing a

podcast i think it enhances my stand up

because it enhances my perspective the

more people i can talk to

the more ideas i can take in more

conversations i can have with people i

get a better

understanding of people like i'm

building a mountain out of layers of

paint

like every day i'm getting a little bit

more understanding of people a little

bit more understanding of myself

you got a broad base man like you know i

see you talking to people like malcolm

gladwell

i read his books i didn't it would

intimidate me to just chop it up with

him

he's a good dude he's easy he seems like

he seems like good that i don't know him

at all but but he's a brilliant dude you

are a brilliant dude but it's just weird

it's weird that i know you you know what

i mean

it's just it's just so strange like i

think back when we're all so young

nobody knew if we're gonna make it not

make it this that or the other

yeah and and what our careers evolved

into and i use the word evolve very

specifically

in your case because none of it was

obvious

no the mma thing it's not obvious this

podcast

is not obvious and these things were

what made you

you know a multi-million dollar player i

mean we all

sitcoms that that's like the obvious

[ __ ] we all did that [ __ ] yeah

but but you found your lane and it's a

really hard thing to do

i just been lucky that i've always uh

listened

to my own instincts in terms of like

what do i enjoy doing

whether or not it's a good career move

or not i enjoy doing it like

the early days mma wasn't a good career

move at all like the people that i was

working with on newsradio they would

talk to me about it like i was doing

porn

they were like why are you why are you

doing this

you you you're going to alabama to do

some

cage fighting commentary like what the

[ __ ] are you doing back then i wasn't

even doing commentary i was

interviewing fighters i was just

interviewing them i was the guy who

would interview the fighters after the

fight was over would you call

fights no i didn't call fights until

2001.

that was the first time i called a fight

1997 i was just the interviewer i was

i did it for a couple years and i

enjoyed it but it was just like it was

just fun to be there was cool

i would just fly into these weird places

like

you know right with dothan alabama you

know like weird little spots you would

obviously never go to otherwise and then

mma that mma thing was just

kind of starting out i remember i didn't

see you know i started seeing like the

horse gracie fights and [ __ ] like that

in the

maybe the early 90s yeah he started

doing shamrock was another yeah

93 is when it started yeah yeah i came

around in 97

so i was doing i did it 97 and 98

and then uh i couldn't do it anymore it

was costing me money like is i could

make more money doing

a club for a weekend a comedy club than

i could doing these

gigs and then you know i just decided

i'm just going to stay a fan

just watch it from before i did it i did

the little interview thing was fun

and then the ufc was purchased by the

fertittas

and dana white and i became friends

because i was on fear factor and he

would give me free tickets to come to

the fights that's when

no celebrities really knew what it was

and so if you could get a celebrity to

sit up and

front row and then they would interview

me and i knew so much about fighting i

started asking questions about guys that

are fighting in japan and

and then dana and i went out to dinner

and he was like why don't you do why

don't you do commentary

and i said man i don't want to do

commentary i want to get drunk and watch

fights like come on man

damn props to dana white that's a good

move yeah he uh

he saw me on the keenan ivory wayne show

too making fun of steven seagal

we were talking about martial arts and

uh dana thought it was hilarious

and then we we started talking about

commentary and then

he talked me into doing one i did like

the first 15 of them i did

for free i did it for a while like like

more than a year like maybe two years i

did it for no money

i just got free tickets he just flew me

out it's that bro

you know these paths in life they reveal

themselves and this goes back to what we

were saying earlier if you look at

things through the lens of

money or monetary gain you'll miss so

much

you miss so much this thing about

just following a passion having a good

deal with somebody

yeah i'll do it yeah that's usually how

the greatest things happen when i did

stars point

i don't do movies i'm so glad i did it

and it was just because i liked bradley

cooper i kept meeting him at parties

that's awesome and i just like i just

like the guy no yeah that's

being able to just do what you enjoy

doing that's the real success of life

because if you're making a lot of money

but you hate what you're doing

like when i was doing fear factor i

didn't enjoy the job i enjoyed the

people i was working with it was fun

they were a good group of people

we had a lot of fun we had a lot of

laughs but

it wasn't what i wanted to do i was

doing it for money right and i

but it gave me the good thing was it

gave me [ __ ] you money

so it gave me money where i had money

squirreled away i was like ooh i could

relax now now i just do what i want to

do

and what i wanted to do is like do this

stupid podcast and then

you know do the these mma shows go and

do

commentary and i did all that [ __ ] again

it was all just because it i enjoyed it

and then that became my life my life

became

only things i enjoy so now whether it's

podcast

or whether it's stand-up or whether it's

commentary it's just i enjoy it

i look forward to it i had a year like

that

right maybe the year before i did

chappelle show it was just like i was

saving up

to take a chance um you know what i mean

yeah so then when it came time to do

chappelle show

you know the money was terrible but but

i'd saved up i could take the shot

yeah i could come off the road and take

the and take a real shot

and it made all the difference in the

world real [ __ ] when you take a chance

it's such a weird feeling

taking a chance like doing something

even just moving here

it's so exciting so exciting when you

don't know how it's going to play out

it's so nerve-wracking like it gets you

you're like [ __ ] is this the right move

maybe i should just play it safe and

stay where i am i mean la's got to open

back up eventually

no this was a great move and i can't

imagine what you saved in taxes

i don't know it's a lot though it's

gotta be it's 13

is what california state taxes are yeah

yeah it's crazy i'm not even good at

math and i know that's 13

000 it's going to get worse too man it's

going to get worse

because they're jacking the taxes up

they're trying oh yeah yeah it's gonna

jack them up in new york

you know what yeah they're fine listen

if i felt like it fixed things i would

be happy

it's that you know i was with jon

stewart

we were in copenhagen

and you know socialized country and and

and john stuart said to me something

that he said do you know the difference

between

a taxpayer here and a taxpayer in

america he said these people think

they get something for their money yeah

but i think socialism

or something like that only works in

homogenized countries like everyone

in china's chinese a lot of white people

in copenhagen i think like you know what

i mean

i think in america it's the the them or

the they of it all that [ __ ] us up

it's also small populations right it's

like one of the things i was saying

about austin

one of the ways austin works is there's

only a million people in the city

and then there's another million on the

outskirts that's not a lot of people not

a lot of people

that's not a lot of people it's one of

the reasons why it works it's like

people are valuable they're not

a problem even when you're in traffic

it's like five minutes like oh my god so

much traffic

take your extra five minutes right it's

nothing not

no not coming from l.a nothing is

traffic after la maybe atlanta

yeah atlanta it's rough chicago is rough

i remember doing uh

doing radio and chicago was doing the

schomburg improv

and you do radio in the city and then

you got to go back out to schomburg

you're like holy [ __ ] this is far

there's so much traffic there's so many

people big cities

that's the that's the rub on big cities

is that

people they don't value each other as

much when you're in a place like

copenhagen or

any of these uh these any like whether

it's denmark or

these places are not that big they're

big enough

but they're not that big united states

is so big

it's so big it's so big and it's so

different there's so much

going on so many cities everywhere

everywhere is different

so many climates 350 whatever the [ __ ]

it is million people

yeah but if you see an american when

you're outside of america

yeah you know they one of us a lot of

times

yeah a lot of times the lines are

getting blurry now though how do you

mean

you might think someone's american you

talk to them like hello mate

look at you [ __ ] with your

backwards baseball oh my god that is

true

yeah i play overseas a lot now and

you know i used to do it when i was a

kid it was more challenging

this internet makes all the crowds kind

of the same

yeah they know every reference yeah and

american culture is still

a marquee culture like you know they

know so much about our political lives

they know so much about our cultural

lives so much more than we would know

about them yeah going over there yeah

for sure

and on stage like i was doing a show in

tokyo i'd never worked in tokyo before

what was that like

if i took a picture from the stage and

asked you where i was you'd think i was

playing san francisco

really it was interesting yeah some of

the people who came didn't even speak

english they just wanted to see the

spectacle of

oh wow because they had heard of me oh

wow that must be wild

it's netflix man like look you get out

in that world joe

you you're famous everywhere you've

never been to these places but when you

get there they're gonna know you

or there's a thing that happened to me

years ago in london

where i was in a restaurant and i was

kind of waiting for the table and

and when the lady she asked me my name

she said well she gonna go david she

goes with

david on the list what's your last name

go chappelle and she looks up

and i look around and everyone's kind of

looking i could tell they'd heard of me

but they didn't know that that was oh

right right

that kind of thing yeah this was this

was after i quit the show but not long

after like oh

506. what did you do for those 10 years

a lot of [ __ ] i learned a lot i mean but

it was

it was a humble existence you know i had

had young children

and uh i was raising my kids i was

living a suburban life

uh and then every once in a while i get

this feeling like i'm the funniest

guy i gotta get out there and i would

like fly to denver do a week in denver

or something

and that's when you would read i was

doing like these six hour shows i

performed like i was desperate for it

i loved it yeah and uh

at one point i had done uh one of these

big comedy tours that live nation put

together that oddball tour

and i did all right i mean i had a good

run i wiped out in hartford

and ed was all over the internet that

was first time that thing had happened

to me

uh but for the most part the tour went

good but it was a tough tour for me

because it was a long show i had to

close it you know

my chops weren't as tight as they

normally were but i wouldn't i didn't

suck

by any means but you know could have

been humbling it was humbling

but it made me want to

go back and and the shows were like

every show was like 20 000 seats they

were like all these

what year was this around [ __ ] i can't

remember

obama was president maybe i don't know

eight nine ten

but you were you were famous for just

showing up places you were just flying

that's the one i stats when i started

doing i

actually in the summer i started riding

motorcycles

which is like very uncharacteristic to

me but i loved it i would and i wrote i

said i ride my bike across country and i

did

i cheated i had a tour bus with me

trailer so if it rained or something

or if i just wanted to bail i could but

i rode across country

and i'd never seen america like that we

talk about how big it is and expansive

and

man i saw all the little pockets on a

bike you know you really

yeah feel the environment you see things

um and i would i'd stop and play one of

my favorite birthdays was here in austin

i was i never been to austin raleigh and

i pulled up on 6th street i'd been to

austin but i've never seen austin

pulled up on 6th street it was my

birthday i was riding with the guys what

do you want to do for your birthday

and you know that time i wasn't drinking

or smoking or anything

i said i want to do stand-up and i found

a bar

it was it was right around closing and i

saw the dj packing up and i said can i

use your microphone

and he recognized me so he's like oh

yeah yeah yeah and i went up there and i

just started talking [ __ ]

and you know but it was just like you

know teasing the bar

staff as they're cleaning up talking to

patrons and you know get it home fast

buddy and all that [ __ ]

right and people laugh and they can't it

was like doing i used to do street

comedy in new york it kind of reminded

me of that like building a crowd

and after a while people stopped and

listened out now i'm not a tech savvy

dude

twitter had come out and i guess people

had started tweeting like yo it was just

crazy dave chappelle just in here

ranting

man i took like an hour that place was

packed

and i must have stayed on stage three or

four hours wow

and you know they they closed the door

they locked the door because it was

after hours

and i was in there killing it wow best

birthday ever had one of the best

birthdays

i've had sometime around when i turned

40 i just decided that i'm gonna have

fun you know like right now you know

this is a weird thing to talk about

after dmx passed

and black rob and you know now far more

often people from my

peer group pass away and

it just makes me feel like it's not a

midlife crisis it's almost the opposite

of that

it's like look i know i don't get to

stay here forever

my time is limited and precious and and

i don't take any of these

things for granted i'll take this money

for granted this platform

and i'm not talking about the fame

platform i'm talking about comedy

this genre like i made it

this genre it's been so good for me

uh my social life the people that i've

met the friendships that i've had

some that i've lost along the way uh

these memories we make you know

as the years go on i'm like what a

special special way

to live your life yeah and see the world

like say when we

we we did those dates um

where were we in seattle and yeah

and utah was it salt lake yep

and one of those nights there was a

massacre uh

in dayton it's not far from where i live

you know people where i live

hang out in dayton was that the night we

were there we were together

when that happened that same night the

the guy that owned one of those comedy

clubs in new york was

was murdered too it was like a really

dark night and i'd found

all this out right before i was going on

like you didn't know you were already on

stage as this news is unfold

i'm sure you got a earful when you got

off yeah

but i was like you know during the run

we would go places and i'd see flags at

half staff and i'm like oh [ __ ] that's

for like my city

it really hit home and the the best part

of that

experience was being with comedians if

anything bad ever happens comedians are

who you want to be with

uh you know 9 11 i was i was in a room

full of comedians because i had to

you know i was staying on on west

broadway and canal street was not far

from the trade center

but canal street i'm on the north side

of the street from the south down the

city was evacuated so i got to stay in

my hotel

but during the day we didn't know that

we you know i had a new baby and i ended

up going to a comedian's house that

they lived in greenwich village a bunch

of comedians were there

as bad as that day was that was the room

to be in it's something that these guys

and girls have

always inspired courage in me and levity

in me

something there's some subtext of comedy

that everything's gonna be okay

i spent the day with joey diaz and

ralphie may

oh wow 911 yeah yeah who else would you

rather been with when you think back at

the tragedy i bet you can think of four

or five things you laughed at

yeah that day not about the tragedy with

them we just laughed

we were high as [ __ ] and we were just

freaking out about the fact there's no

planes like look at this guy there's no

planes

comedians yeah it's funny that this

genre is under attack because

because to me this is the everything's

going to be okay john

it's under attack because people have

this ability to complain about things

now and then people pile on

it's a new thing and they realize it's

very useful

it's a good weapon and if you choose

targets you could take targets out you

can go after them

and so it becomes a hobby becomes a

hobby like if you know

if you see a window and you got a rock

you feel like throwing that rock

and so a lot of times these targets

aren't justified but you can find a

justification you could say

oh they put these words together in this

order and if you look at it in quotes

written down on paper you go oh

well this is uh ableist or this is this

or this is that

this is something we can attack let's

attack this is transphobic this is this

is uh homophobic

attack attack and they it becomes

it's a recreation it's recreational

outrage it is exactly you know the last

time i came on your show when donnell

was here

and i [ __ ] up i looked at the comment

section and they'll do that [ __ ] again

i'll never do that first comment is

somebody said dave looks like he stinks

word

whatever dude when uh

rizza was on with donnell that's the

first thing i said to donnell after the

show i go hey man that was fun

don't read the comments yeah don't read

the comments and donald just dove right

into that comments and he was on a deep

spiral

of mental illness for several days yeah

he said man it kept saying i interrupt

son

yeah yeah i heard all about it he was on

tour after that he was

he's traumatized he got shook i told him

stay out of there

don't read that [ __ ] you're the same

person you don't want to be affected by

those people

no you know no because they just want to

bring you down to their level

whoever wrote that comment this dave

looks like he stinks is probably going

to watch this and be like

nailed it so congratulations

[ __ ]

and i can't wait to read your comment

about me commenting on your comment

you're in the big time [ __ ] your mother

stinks

comment on that too ah

yeah it's a weird thing comments

comments are a weird thing

i mean it's yeah it is but like you say

and here's the rub i you can just not

read them yeah or you can just not click

on that special that's gonna hurt your

feelings

at a certain point you gotta look at

this [ __ ] like food what are you eating

what are you putting in your mind

that's what i keep saying about me when

people get outraged about my podcast

i'm like well you don't have to listen

to it like why you let you listening to

it looking for things that are pissing

you off like what are you doing

yeah it's like listening to someone's

ass when they take it shouldn't be like

ew you farted

what the [ __ ] are you doing in here

anyway

what's wrong with these people well

people are looking to get mad

there's plenty there's plenty of things

to be authentically mad about

yes but those are confusing and

frustrating

and take it takes time patience research

yeah right there's a lot going on why do

that

yeah well i do all that yeah i don't

know man

it's just it's just i'm optimistic about

the future but

i think because i've never seen these

things before i can't quite

call where it's going it's a challenging

time but human beings have always done

better than the previous

generation every single generation if

you follow like stephen pinker's work

from the beginning of time from recorded

history to now it's the safest time to

be alive

ever and it's a very clear trend we

struggle

we we have conflict there's ups and

downs there's mistakes and there's good

decisions but

ultimately things become safer they

become

better we we accept each other more when

you think about like when i was a kid

gay marriage was impossible like no one

you couldn't get married if you were gay

right whenever they would propose it

people would freak out

now it's nationwide it's like things

change even though there's more violence

now than ever

i mean there's not more violent sound

than ever before you you see it you see

violence

now more than you ever have before

because of social media you could

pull up instagram videos or car

accidents and gun fights and crazy [ __ ]

but

the reality is there's less violence

than ever before

there's less murder than ever before

it's a slow trend

and pinker gets criticized for this

because people don't want to hear that

because they go but what about all the

injustice what about all the murders

what about all the crime

there is all that [ __ ] there is rape all

that stuff is real but it's way less

than ever before

in history and i think as time moves on

it'll get even better

there'll be hiccups there'll be less

it's not less

because people are sick of that behavior

it's not it's not like these things

happen less often because

uh people had to do things

to make these things happen left less

often it didn't organically just be like

and that's enough murder for us

we had we had to do some [ __ ] people

ought to do something right we we had to

you know you

gay marriage people had to be made aware

yes of how people are struggling one of

the great things of that movement was

when everyone started coming out

declines and everyone realized

oh like five of my best friends are gay

and were embarrassed when we were saying

this that and the other right

and you realize you like this person

more than like whatever prejudice you're

carrying around these types of these

types of actions

what information different information

information

yeah and as more information gets out

about what's avoidable and unavoidable

and the more we get to understand each

other the more we realize we have way

more in common than we don't

right you know it's it as time goes on

i think we're going to get better i

think our culture

our civilization will be improved upon

like what we have now

we have we have now is a very unique

struggle that's never existed before

because it's it's a combination struggle

right it's a virus

a disease it's it's fear it's anxiety

and then

economic depression all thrown in

together and it scares the [ __ ] out of

people

because they're powerless because all

sudden the government comes along and

says you can't work

or your your business is not essential

imagine being told you don't have an

essential business

i was this guy comedians are

yeah you know what essential uh

fortunately podcasts were for whatever

weird reason an essential business

so we're liquor stores which is kind of

crazy well because your podcast was like

a beacon of of some semblance of

normalcy

i didn't look so like joey you look good

and and the world's going on

you know but there's also something

illusory about it yeah

because if they see us on yachts popping

bottles while they're going through this

thing right they're gonna feel like well

there's something wrong with me or like

yeah there's a lot of tone deaf folks

out there that didn't get that

they're out there taking that photo in

front of a private jet with a gucci bag

smiling

oh yeah yeah yeah hey hey this is not

the time for that yeah

yeah yeah it's true not the time for

flossing

no but for some some people that's like

a part of their

their image you know part of what they

do

yeah many people yeah i think in their

understanding that that's

almost almost definitively what

celebrity is

yeah it's like how am i going to be

successful without doing it and

and they sell something different than

say you or i might be trying to sell

right right right you can't you you're

not selling that if you're a comic

you gotta be careful yeah i'm trying to

think

is there a comic that flosses kevin hart

flosses a little bit

never bothered me though no he's a happy

well first of all who the [ __ ] works

harder than that guy

nobody nobody not me [ __ ] that

[ __ ] that he makes me feel lazy he's

always like

co-producing some project and animating

some movie and doing a voice over this

and starring in that and then

doing a theater tour and then he's got

jumanji five coming out you know

he's always got something happening and

he's relentlessly kind and everyone that

works with him looks

elated and happy he's he's not a tyrant

he's he's like hanging out with a

self-help book or some [ __ ] he just

makes he just makes you feel good yeah

he's a powerful pro

powerful guy hard it's impossible not to

like him

yeah and in fact

in my mind he's a he's a great case

scenario that a good person can do

well in life because there are some

cynics that believe that they can't

i don't know about any crime behind that

fortune you're just a good dude

no he's just a good dude you you can be

a good person to make it

it's just the problem is like making it

is usually connected to ambition which

is usually

connected to aggression it's usually

connected to you know someone who's like

really fiercely trying to succeed

and a lot of that is usually in a lot of

people's eyes that's

at any cost you know ruthlessly trying

to get through

the maze of show business of life to

succeed well and

some people back to incentives adopt

this ruthlessness thinking

well that's how things get done yeah if

i can't do this then i'll never make it

and that's

that's a myth sylvester stallone had a

great quote on the acting studio he's

talking about

rocky being a metaphor for acting

and saying that some of the best actors

he knew was so sensitive that they

couldn't survive

the environment so some of the greatest

talent that he

witnessed the masses will never see

because they couldn't navigate

the rocks as far as commerce is

concerned

and and that was this fight so to speak

yeah i would imagine that that's

i mean there's there's actors that are

like

real artists when they're putting

together a role

whether it's a denzel washington or a

daniel day lewis or do you know what i

mean there's like levels

of acting and there's a certain level

where

they're not like a just a regular guy

trying to be famous

they got some thing that they've tuned

into right they can become gary oldman

they can become a person

man daniel day lewis that [ __ ]

think about it when he's not working

he's like making shoes and [ __ ] yeah

he he's not he's not on what i call the

whole stroll that red carpet ain't doing

anything no he's a serious actor he's a

great artist and that's why he makes a

premium force work

i think he quit acting he said he

retired

him playing abraham lincoln was one of

my favorite things i've ever seen

someone do

and it's not my favorite movie he's been

in but it's a movie about the passing of

a bill i don't

i can't think of a more boring process

than than [ __ ] the bureaucracy of

passing a bill no matter what the bill's

about

yeah but man something about that

performance made me excited about

like art itself for me it's the there

will be blood

yeah it's the [ __ ] greatest movie

ever there will be blood is the one

that character it was so many things he

was a murderer he was

evil he was kind he was ambitious

he was a victim of circumstance a victim

of his environment

and also you know kind of a tyrant yeah

like

i picture myself as an actor reading

that script and just being like i don't

get it

[Laughter]

let alone untangling an emotional uh

life for this guy in a rationale for

behaving this way yeah

man this guy nailed it yeah he nailed it

but that's

what people when people think of the

worst aspects

of ambition they think of that kind of

person that character that he portrayed

the worst aspects of it the the

dehumanizing aspects

of ambition yeah geez

some dark [ __ ] yeah dark [ __ ] i drink

your milkshake

beat the guy dead with a bowling pin and

yeah i'm finished yeah

no spoiler alert my bad everybody yeah

[ __ ] heavy

great though yeah brilliant you know

it's kind of like

one of the things i did after i left the

shows i got into boxing i don't know i

used to just go to the fights

and part of it was because that ear was

like manny pacquiao was fighting and

mayweather was fighting marquez was

fighting all these

guys were great fighters and i got this

notion that anytime i can be a witness

to greatness i should see it

yes and it's like the fast food of

greatness

floyd fight you know that's going to be

yeah it's going to be good not a

pacquiao fight you know

i was there when he got knocked out like

these moments oh you were there when

marquez knocked him out

boy was i woo with my filipino

mother-in-law she sang the national

anthem and everything i was like

sorry

[Laughter]

wow yeah it was crazy man but but you

know

that was a crazy punch that was now who

do you have on saturday

we got canelo and billy ray saunders

yeah billy ray saunders is a problem

that guy got good feet he can move he

can move but

there's no one in the business harder to

hit than canelo right now he learned

something from floyd mayweather man that

was like a harvard ass whooping floyd

yeah and it wasn't even like a it was a

clinic

yeah it's a challenge weapon but floyd

didn't hit hard enough to really

give him a real ass weapon or really

hurt him and punish him and have him in

real trouble

but he boxed him up boxed him up it was

like watching a globe try this game yeah

yeah yeah right it was it was a he was

beat handily but then if you watch

canelo

like because floyd was impossible to hit

and i think canelo was like

he thought he was gonna be able to hit

him and then he realized somewhere in

the fight like this guy knows everything

i'm gonna do long before i do it like

my language my the way i'm speaking and

but with boxing is so slow

right he's just like he's just many

steps ahead

but then you watch canelo now like he's

slick

he's so sl the danny jacobs fight it's a

great example of that yeah

he's standing right in front of him just

moving the head his head movement's

phenomenal

and that's not indicative of a classic

mexican box no they come straight at you

yeah

dying this shield he's not that guy he's

so

skilled he got the rub that's what we

call it when a great fighter

fights another great fighter they learn

something you learn something from the

higher levels like

when you get beat by a guy you get that

rub you see a lot of times

a guy will come out of a fight with a

great fight he might have lost but then

the next fight you see like oh he

recognizes the the higher frequencies

the higher rpms of the the real true

great ones i think that

was a problem boxing this idea that

people were addicted to undefeated

fighters but there's something to be

said

in greatness yeah for getting beat up

sometimes

yes you come back if you can come back

from it with your wits intact and learn

the lessons that the ass-whooping taught

you

you might see something even more

special from a guy that got a loss or

two on his record yeah

but there's a fine line there's a type

of loss that you never bounce back from

like the julio cesar chavez meldrick

taylor loss

melody taylor lost to chavez he got

knocked out with like

richard steele stopped the fight with

like two seconds to go in the last round

but chavez was just getting to him just

getting to him and meldrick was so

fast meldrick was a part of that team

that 76 olympic gold medalist

not 76 was it 84 84 team where it was

like mark breeland

uh riddick beau was really go on that

team no tyrell biggs

mark breeland tyrell biggs pernell

whittaker

meldrick taylor they were there were so

many great fighters all gold medalists

and meldrick tale was so fast he was so

good

but chavez was relentless julio cesar

chavez was relentless

right he just would bob and we even bob

and we even come pop pop pop pop

and started getting to him started

getting to him and then

finally last round boom drops him and

richard steele looks into elder taylor's

eyes and he waves it off with two

seconds to go

oh wow and everybody's like oh [ __ ] and

he never came back from that

never came back from that he fought

after that he always looked like

something like

julio cesar chavez took a piece of him

never he never returned

100 i tell you another it's a guilty

pleasure fighting because i know

i see what it does to guys you brought a

riddick boat uh

you know i talked to him once in a fight

and i'm like man this guy took some

shots

took some shots and i'm not saying this

disparagingly no i'm just saying this

reality yeah it was tough it was a tough

one because

you know i think about how much i enjoy

watching these fights and

and then come face to face with the

price that

that so many paid i saw terry norris at

a fight once and he was talking to a fan

and i was moving

on my way to the seat and i i heard

terry talking to this guy

and i was like oh no it was bad

yeah it was bad i mean how would i leave

my hero

that's tough to watch tough to watch

yeah and it happens to all of them

eventually

if they keep going it happens to all of

them yeah you're gonna hang them gloves

up at some point

some of them are you know like that's

what makes andre ward so special

andre ward wins a gold medal in the

olympics

wins two world championships in two

different weight classes

retires undefeated they offer him money

to come back he goes i think i'm better

served as a commentator i'm done

talks perfect talk's perfect had him on

the podcast brilliant guy

thoughtful articulate smooth

classy you know and one of my prized

possessions is some gloves he signed for

me you know i'm a big

fan of the bay area and i was

you know before the warriors were champs

you know andre ward was carrying oakland

he was he was their champion and he's

doing it with one arm

you know that no yeah andre ward's right

shoulders basically useless that's right

okay most of his career

yeah this is when he was i don't know

what kind of contractual disputes he had

he had the soldier

shoulder surgery he was going through

all that

and we had a conversation but i was

really like inspired meeting them and we

had a conversation about the

exactly what you're talking about when

he was talking to me you know we didn't

know each other

i just happened to meet him and he

talked to me about

hanging his gloves up it's a crazy thing

for comedian to hear like

imagine saying okay i'm done with comedy

like i

i could quit i could say i quit the

limelight i don't know if i quit doing

stand-up in some way shape or form yeah

i don't know if i could take 30 years

off like eddie right right

yeah eddie keeps talking about coming

back right but he still hasn't

he's listen bro he's funny as [ __ ] like

as far as like a naturally athletic

comedian i don't know

that i've ever seen as equal yeah i

think you're right remember that i've

ever seen

that speech where you talked about them

taking bill cosby's uh

mark twain i was i was there when he

said that

it was so i can remember too all the

comedians who were there crowding around

the monitor because it was the first

time he did anything that

looked like stand-up right and he was

smooth

right he stopped doing stand-up in 87

it's the year i started that's

incredible this entire time and so if he

does come back

you know i'd be i'd be the first person

to buy a ticket

i would watch a bad eddie murphy show

if he was really trying to do a thing

yeah then i

before i would go see one of my own i

remember we were uh i forget what club

in new york

we were talking and chris rock was

talking about how good

cosby was he went to see cosby at the

apollo a very nice story yeah and

uh bill burr and i were planning on

seeing cause we were trying to figure

out where we should go

i'll tell you we're at a correctional

facility in pennsylvania that's where

he's at

as we speak it was before all that

should happen we were thinking about

going to see him somewhere

yeah i don't know i mean like i look at

these kids coming up

and i and there's things that they do

much better than we did they can all

produce they can all generate their own

they make heat out of nothing

right in the 90s you go to the [ __ ]

comedian's

parking lot at the comedy store that she

used to be filled with shitty cars

yeah and now you'll see a guy you never

even heard of get into the hottest whip

yup it's that now yeah i don't know

these guys look like straight up contest

winners like who the [ __ ] is this guy

but they're killing it internet money

right but

what's too bad about it is

we're from a process of refinement that

doesn't exist anymore right

you'll never the road when you're

anonymous right the road when you're

anonymous

just being on the strip oh yeah and it's

smoking like we're not smoking no one

smokes anymore but

yeah one of those nightclubs and just

they're gonna it's a lot to miss

yeah the grind the long grind of

developing a real act

and to do it also in where there's no

cell phones

there's nothing you know no distractions

right

they're competing with too much and

that's too bad for them like

but i don't fault them for them i'm

impressed that these kids

made a new way but i like the way we do

it there's a new way that they're doing

where the

one of the things that showed a lot of

uh

people's ability to improvise and to

change was

during covid a lot of people started

doing things online

and like andrew schultz the best example

i think

he started doing those things like turn

your phone sideways and these

long rants like 10 15 minute rants with

photographs and punchline after

punchline after punchline and then they

did a whole netflix special about it

like he did a series of netflix pieces

on it and what he did was he said okay i

can't do stand-up

but this isn't stand-up so i shouldn't

do stand-up like this because there's no

audience

so the key to this and he figured it out

he's like the key to this is you got to

hit it fast

the punchlines have to come one after

the other it's got to be fast paced

and with images so like he would use all

these visuals

while he was hitting punchline after

punchline oh wow

he figured out a new way to do comedy he

figured out a way to do in

internet instagram 10 minute comedy well

okay

it was but that's not like you say

that's not stand up

no like this thing that you're

describing god bless him

yeah that's not what i do yeah it's

different yeah it's different

it's different than the way he does

stand up which is interesting because

his stand-up is slower

he he holds laughs he holds pause he

laughs at [ __ ] he [ __ ] around he works

a crowd a lot

his stand up is loose right he has fun

he's comfortable up there

right but his these little clips that he

does on on

instagram or rapid fire bang bang bang

he has works with a series of writers

they all work together they put these

things together they work it out man

by the time it's done it is a polished

machine

but he used that time and innovated you

know

that's clever yeah i don't think i yeah

it's not i'm not interested in it

because

no disrespecting him i i like happening

in real life

yeah like like even during coba the fact

that we

found a way to get in front of audiences

again meant the world to me

that's what i do yeah it's a different

thing yeah

i mean you know i could throw a slide

showing this [ __ ] if i want to but that

crowd's not there what's

the [ __ ] point for me i know what you

mean but for him he's coming up still

you know you'd already made it well yeah

get back in there

yeah and it's it's a whole different

ball of wax that's what i'm saying like

that thing that he was that evolution he

was able to make

yes i'm like the old guy who has that

hot outfit from the 70s

go fashion go on without me i look fine

i'm that i'm i'm good with what i do

those shows we did at stubbed

felt real special

it might not ever be that special again

because it was hard

it was hard to do and it was weird and

it was uh

the fact that you could do a show in a

pandemic

like a real legitimate pandemic and what

it did

for the people who were able to come

yeah and for the comedian's way

to participate we all felt better

we felt a lot better we had some wild

fun yeah fun

life might be okay everyone you know

just to laugh

around other people yup during a [ __ ]

show of a circumstance

it was great it was great you know i

wish that

we had could have done uh a more diverse

array of shows but we were locked into

the circumstance we locked in yeah

we tested everybody that like everyone

bought a ticket got a covet test

free mask you know and and

as a comedian it was a new experience

being in a room full of people

or whatever that vein was full of people

that

just realized that they don't have the

dreaded coronavirus

right and there was a show and the

music's playing and

comedians they recognized come on the

stage it was like pure joy in there

no matter what we said at a certain

point we all just we were

all happy to be there comedians didn't

take it for granted like you know you do

a million sets you start

thinking it's just another like the

office but every night at the office

could be the last night at the office

yeah that was the thing about it too

it's like

you're never gonna have another day like

that where

or another another series of nights like

that where

there's the first real pandemic of our

lifetime

where things are shut down but yet we do

have this weird opportunity to do shows

so they felt electric they really did

they felt electric

those shows that we did will remain

etched in my mind

forever like that was special the fact

that you know

and and also man you know i'm not no gas

or nothing but the fact that you're

successful as you are

all these things you're wildly famous

you're also very unaffected but

you um you got nervous before your first

set

i respected that i said okay see this

guy makes all this money

still cares the stat

you you see some guys you can see that

you're a fighter

sometimes the fight gets out of them

yeah yeah

it gets full you don't feel like going

as hard as you used to or you might

start worrying about what they say in

the press and

all that [ __ ] did none of that [ __ ] ever

got to you bro

you you was you was going hard in the

paint it was fun it was fun to watch

like i'm like yo

you're going hard to think bro but it

was fun man

and the spirit that i love about the

genre was

ever present everything's gonna be okay

it's with the spirit of comedy always

yeah yeah and it was there just made me

feel like why is this

if i can't do comedy i'm not gonna do

comedy you know what i'm saying like if

i can't do real comedy if i can't do

comedy the way i've always done comedy

say wild [ __ ] that you don't even

necessarily really mean but it's funny

that's why you're saying it and

everybody knows they know what you're

doing

they know what you're doing i know guys

that you know and they're famous i don't

but they struggle with this thing yeah

they do

yeah and they stop coming around and i

miss their presence

and their voices and a lot of these

young comedians this process of

refinement is gone because they don't

have these guys

to look to right because you know

they're making money and i don't want to

upset anybody

yup yup kids are in college or whatever

it's going to be

they don't want to ruin what they

already put down yeah they they lay down

some

nice routes they got a good thing going

on they don't want to [ __ ] it up

would you ever leave the limelight yeah

sure

does it bother you the limelight you

don't live in a wayward

i don't um do limelight things i'm

saying like i don't go

you gotta try some of this [ __ ] out bro

it's not bad yeah i mean look you don't

have to do it all the time

once and again once and again i mean

i i'm um i have needs and my needs are

uh

you know like exercise keep my mind

straight

all those needs like they those those

have to be fulfilled

yeah they have to be filled for mental

clarity

if i don't do that i don't i'll lose my

way

you also have a lot of access to [ __ ]

who are you talking to yesterday uh

yesterday was

uh david holt house who's a documentary

filmmaker

he's a journalist yeah every day you

talk to some

kind of jogger that in some field yeah

elon musk

malcolm gladwell what do you think about

this [ __ ] elon's going through with

saturday night live ridiculous

yeah it's puzzling no one is woke enough

they they don't they can't appreciate

the fact that you're dealing with

literally one of the most brilliant men

that's ever lived who's going to come do

your show you're talking about a guy who

simultaneously runs

multiple world-changing businesses

whether it's tesla whether it's spacex

whether it's the boring companies making

tunnels underneath the [ __ ] earth

he's putting satellites into space to

put high speed internet around the world

he's doing all these things

simultaneously but can he write a

monologue because we're going to find

out let's get it

he's not funny he's he's a brilliant guy

he could probably do anything if he set

his mind to it but

the fact that they've decided somehow

that he's problematic

like it doesn't make any sense i mean

yeah but no one's really saying what

is it just because he's rich who knows

it doesn't matter anymore they just

decide like what the [ __ ] is this and

everybody's like what the [ __ ] is this

this is [ __ ] so there was no him

there was no obvious

catalyst for this okay i was just

curious there was uh some people that

felt like he

dismissed kovid's danger at one point in

time they didn't like him because of

that but he did it just because he's

intelligent

because his perspective was he he's a

a reductionist or i should say like his

his perspective on it was like

looking at the numbers and looking at

what it is as i think

instead of looking at the emotional

impact of people losing loved ones and

so sometimes someone is like a genius

might say something that appears to be

uh appears to be insensitive i don't

think he's insensitive i think he was

just

looking at it in terms of like what is

what is the odds that you're going to

die

and he's saying that children are

essentially immune and he was saying

things that a lot of people felt were

insensitive but that was a

first of all a it was a long time ago

and b

it's he was just explaining his

perspective

on the disease right and he wasn't as

fearful as they thought he should be

and then you know he came to our shows

and his pictures of all was hanging out

maskless

and then people got coveted afterwards

that it was his

his girlfriend that gave us by the way

he would

he and she were very incredibly kind

super nice uh unaffected i teased him

about being the richest man in the world

he took it with good humor and and

what's funny is i had hung out with him

years ago after i quit chappelle show

when i was on that tour that i was

telling you about that was a tough one

we hung out on a tour bus and he he he

says to me that night when he's all

together

here in austin he goes i met you before

i'm like i don't know i have no

recollection

and he looked kind of hurt

it was a long time ago there was like

two three companies ago

i just thought it was funny like that he

was the richest man in the world i think

these whether the people that are

complaining that he's going to be on

saturday live i think what's going on

now is like they want someone to be

a hundred percent compliant to whatever

ideology

they're a part of and any deviation of

that

is problematic whether it's because they

think like i saw an article

that said elon musk donated 150 million

dollars to some charity and they called

him a cheapskate

it's hilarious how hilarious is that

wait till they see when i'm a

billionaire

get ready for this cheapskate

no my brother but it's it was a it was a

such a shitty article it's just a poorly

written

knucklehead article yeah

it's again like you say no one can be

woke enough you know

i'm torn because i like

a warrior for a good cause but i'm

really in

the tactics you're not gonna nag

people into behaving right in a way that

you know in fact if if you continue with

this tone

even if you're right you'll be very hard

to hear

yeah i think so and uh it's just i don't

mean

maybe it was the covet thing like i'm

saying but again if i

think back on his statements i don't

think they were particularly insensitive

i think they were just you know he was

it was more of like a factual bluntness

to the way he discusses things

because he's a he's a numbers guy he

looks at things in terms of

equations i mean he's trying to put

people on mars

you know what i mean i remember seeing

him on your show once just like on one

of these youtube clips

but i i dug the clip because just one

sound bite he said i have so much in my

mind

yeah you remember this yeah because i

asked him i'm like what's it like to be

you

like what's what's it like just think it

was you wouldn't want to be me

i remember yeah yes it wasn't bragging

it was just like he's being honest like

you wouldn't want this

his brain is like a hurricane like this

just ideas like

like you could see it while he's sitting

there he's trying to sit here and just

have a conversation with you and he's

probably going over [ __ ]

equations and thinking about concepts

and

new ideas and plotting things and

i remember talking to somebody once

i'm not gonna say who but they go uh

more than half the people

on earth live on a dollar a day

and at least half of them are happy he

says i know 20 billionaires

and all of them are miserable wow

this is reminiscent of the thing my

father used to tell me about just the

nature

of money and what what do you want your

life to be about now i mean you know

i'm a lucky guy i've met some

billionaires you know i don't know who's

brimming with having this elon seemed

like i had a good time that night

kanye sometimes she's having a great

time

but i don't know when they're having fun

if it's the money that's doing it

no it's probably not the money gives you

a certain amount of freedom to do

whatever you want to do

but it also comes with so much pressure

so much responsibility and so much

scrutiny

think about how many people are looking

at every single thing that elon does

like this saturday live thing is a

perfect example like they've just

decided

that it's not good that he's on siren

live i mean i don't maybe i'm wrong

maybe there is like a specific thing

they're upset about but i haven't heard

it

yes that's what i was that's i'm like

literally asking i'm not indicting

the cast members and i'm fond of all of

them but

but this one puzzles me i've seen what

i'm talking about when i'm saying i see

people online going what the [ __ ] is

this

like it's not even people that were the

cast members that were saying that it's

just folks online that were upset and

i'm like i don't get it like why are you

upset

what do you think's in it for elon like

if i was the richest man in the world

would i do in the live i don't know i

mean i might just because i love comedy

so much but what do you think

i guess he loves comedy yeah he loves

comedy yeah he does

i've seen him at the store a bunch of

times yeah yeah is it cool probably

cool that's probably a thought oh that'd

be cool yeah i'll do it

but they probably called them uh saturn

live wants to know if you want to

host saturday night live uh okay

he probably said okay yeah there's

something about that that's endearing

it's gonna be interesting to watch this

monologue i'm going to watch okay

depending on where that fight is going i

got to watch tonight well that's this

saturday right

that's right hopefully they won't be

against each other is that fight out

here in texas

dallas yeah oh 70 000 cap

70 000 people holy [ __ ] country's about

to open up man

it's open i did jacksonville florida we

did the ufc a couple weeks ago

holy [ __ ] it was wild there was 15 000

people

oh yeah i'm scared to go to florida it

was wild it was wild you'd probably see

that corona cloud from space

florida there's [ __ ] been out

there getting it

it was interesting nobody had a mask on

it was uh

it was like there was no covet you go

everywhere you go people were just

out there walking around normal remember

the last time when i was here

we were doing the shows together and

gosh remember we increased the cap so

maybe we were up to like 700

people a night on a busy night right and

we must have tested a few thousand

people

that week i don't i don't know that we

got a single positive that we

think we did i think we got um out of

all the weeks we did it

we only got like four positive tests out

of thousands of

people thousands that's when it

well we're going to do the mgm

that's going to get wild david man david

joe let me tell you something that gig

i know i'm not gonna say the dates but i

know we talking about doing another two

dates yeah

uh maybe towards the end of the summer

mm-hmm

i'm very excited about it i'm very

excited too we're gonna get wild

yeah oh it's a fight weekend too oh yeah

yeah it's ufc weekend it's mcgregor's

fight yeah

connor and dustin poirier who's dustin

poirier dustin poy is the last guy who

beat connor he knocked him out

oh so this is a rematch yeah they fought

twice

one time uh i think six years ago conor

knocked him out

and then he just knocked out connor oh

they traded knockout this is a good one

oh it's a good one

it's a real good one maybe i'll stay in

the extra night [ __ ]

yeah you know i've never been to an mma

fight what that's outrageous this is the

one to go to

it's funny man i'm i'm such a boxing fan

because it's the it's the gentleman

sport mm-hmm you know i mean mma all

that grounded pounded [ __ ] it's like

really intense i remember talking to you

one night at the store you were like

dave i see so much violence i'm starting

to worry about myself you know

that yeah i worry because people get

hurt it doesn't bother me

yeah that's normal yeah that's a tough

one this is one one of the things that

happened my wife

cut her head she like uh a hatchback

you know the car thing was up and she uh

was pulling something out of the car and

didn't realize that the corner of the

she miscalculated oh god and it stood up

and it dug right into her head and blood

was pouring down

her forehead and i was like handle it

bro i just looked at it but like

i was like that's nothing it's nothing

she's like what are you talking about

all this blood i go it's a tiny cat it's

nothing and i'm like oh jesus like

what's wrong with me like it does

i'm so accustomed to people being broken

i'm so accustomed to

lacerations and concussions and broken

bones and

blood all over the place i'm so

accustomed to blood just

that's a crazy like i can't even

conceive this it's a weird thing because

i've definitely become desensitized

i've seen i don't know how many

thousands of fights up close i'm see

i've seen

so many people get [ __ ] up and then

there's my

time from being a young guy and

competing in martial arts tournaments

and seeing

so many people get [ __ ] up there so

i've just seen like my whole life people

get [ __ ] up if you had like a

if there was like a chart of all the

people throughout history you've seen

people get [ __ ] up

like just the [ __ ] beating out of them

i'm right up there i'm at the genghis

khan level

yeah there's not like a lot of people

that have probably ever

lit other than like warriors who fought

with swords and [ __ ]

there's not a lot of people in the

modern arrows seeing as many people get

the [ __ ] bait out of him is me

personally that is a crazy thing it's

crazy yeah

super desensitized to violence and

and and injuries it's real strange do

you think you'd ever come back from it

you think if you took a break

no and someone skinny knee you'd be like

i'm too used to it

and then there's hunting you know so i'm

used to it with animals i'm used to

taking animals apart okay yeah see

that's that's the next level

yeah yeah yeah you get used to

things like that people get desensitized

like doctors

talk about that like trauma room

surgeons and stuff like that they talk

about that they get very desensitized

injuries

i remember talking to a doctor once

about just that but this conversation

was more about

from their work realizing the fragility

of life

hmm that's fragile yeah humans are

fragile yeah

very fragile so it's we're so easy to

injure

you know it's so uh easy to hurt people

but and not just physically you know

emotionally emotionally

and yeah i don't know bro i feel like

recently our country's

uh our visit our biggest export is is

heartbreak

like we got to do better not just our

country the whole world

yeah but we emotional heartbreak like

emotional pain

being uh given out online

that would be interesting to see like

the emotional

impact of like online

interactions and harassment and people

just fighting with each other online

how much different the emotional content

of like

online interactions how much of an

impact that's had on human beings that

could be measured

if like there was a number that you

could uh

attach to it quantifiable i'll tell you

what i tell you what

it's a weird thing but with comedy

uh most comedians that

that i know is and a matter of fact this

even goes with proficiency to a degree

the the more proficient they are usually

somewhere

you can see that they're wildly

sensitive or or

empathetic yeah they they do have a

profound acuteness to how

awareness of how they make other people

feel

yeah yeah you know people would think

comedians are cows and

but mostly not they're not

mostly not but sometimes they appear

callous because they'll go after

somebody just for the laugh

yeah but i don't even know that that's

callous it's almost like well i gotta

sacrifice you for the joy the rest of

the room

that's what it is comedy without victims

can be boring

sometimes people got to take a hit i

once roasted a guy that both lost

he lost both his legs in the war

and i roasted him wow that crowd was

uncomfortable

i thought him and his buddies were

laughing so [ __ ] hard because it was

one of those things

where you like i don't know if i should

talk about that but we yeah let me just

and then and then this guy was dying to

talk about it he had a real interesting

story like

you know met the president many times

and was like you know

he sacrificed everything for the country

but

his sense of humor was paramount like he

survived this thing

and i can tell that his sense of humor

was very instrumental in doing it

and the laugh that we had together that

was one of those special nights it was

like

you know people that people are dope

people are dope

you know for the most part people are

dope and they're dope when you're in

front of them

they're dope people to people you know

you look at each other's eyes

being around each other i think it's

part of the problem that we're dealing

with with the online [ __ ]

is that all the normal cues of looking

at someone and saying

and talking to them being right there

it's not there

so you have this ability to write things

in a text and say mean [ __ ] to people

and you think it's okay because yeah you

don't see him crying

right you don't see him cry you don't

you don't feel their pain you're just

pushing buttons you're just pushing

buttons

metaphorically and literally yeah that's

what it is

how do you like doing this podcast that

you're doing it's very good by the way

it's very interesting because it's uh

it's produced like you have

music and it's edited it's like it's a

different thing

it's dope now there's a weird reason why

it's done that way

because ultimately they'll all exist on

vinyl

ah so that's why the shows are the

duration that they are so that they can

fit on signs of vinyl

oh uh it's it's a while you know i'm i'm

curious to see how people

will react to it but i love doing it

they're gonna love it

the people that i'm working with you

know yasin bay

formerly known as most def tyler quality

these guys are like

great great friends of mine they're

great artists

and you know it's like you i could talk

to you guys for

ever about a diversity of stuff yeah

um and so in that sense it's a joyful

experience it was during covet

and the whole concept or the the genesis

of the show was just literally us

finding an excuse

to be together you know everyone's

always so busy

you know as we get mature in the

business and we got kids and we got this

we got that

and we never catch up as much as we

should yeah

and i'm telling you in this season we

keep losing people that are

important to our culture and important

to our community

it was almost like an emergency like

yeah why are we [ __ ] around let's

just

just do something together it was one of

these things definitely went about the

money

or anything like that but it was about

you know

spending time with your friends and as

you well know this art form of

conversation

yeah you know

you're very you're great at it you know

most quality

i could talk to them forever they're

well read

they're well traveled and they're

hilarious dudes and they got

an interesting perspective some friends

you have you

you know you go around the world and you

you don't see each other often but when

you see each other

it's like you've seen each other just a

moment ago

and you can download all these obscure

and wild experiences and it's safe and

it's comfortable and there's no judgment

in it

because you're friends you're truly

friends and that's

the way i feel about those guys and and

i think that's one of the things that

makes the show

so special like fun to do i look forward

to it

yeah that's everything your enthusiasm

is contagious if you're

having an enthusiastic conversation with

someone that's one of the things that

makes it interesting to listen to

because like when you're listening it's

like

like you're a fly on the wall that's

what people like about a good

conversation you could be

in the room without being in the room

you're here and like there's folks

listening to us right

now in traffic and they're here right

they're here right there's no that much

different i mean they don't they don't

see us

if they're driving but maybe they're

watching it on the video if

if it's not much different than sitting

in the room

there's a missing element because you're

not physically here but it's pretty damn

good

in terms of the ability to be a part of

a conversation

and it changes the way you look at

things because if you you

the more people that i can talk to and

get

their take on how they think and how

they do it enhances my own way

of looking at things and talking to

people yeah

and that's that's again the big problem

with all the lip button in there

i kind of like hearing all these

different perspectives whether i agree

with them or not

you know you can't silence people you

got to let them [ __ ] up if they [ __ ] up

and you you know there's nothing wrong

with apologizing either if you [ __ ] up

and you say something wrong

it's nothing wrong with apologizing i i

don't disagree with that i think context

is everything it depends on where i am

when i said it

yes yeah you know what i mean if i'm on

a comedy stage and you [ __ ] print

right a joke i wrote like it was a stump

speech

it's a [ __ ] up thing it's a [ __ ] up

thing to do yeah yeah and

you know but but you know from at a

press conference and whoopsie-poopsy

and there you go sorry everybody yeah

whoops

well it's just you know especially with

stand-ups i mean jesus christ how many

times is stand-ups

just going out to dinner having a couple

of drinks we say the most ridiculous

[ __ ] ever

it's the greatest that's like one of the

joys of my life now

think about being a politician now who's

signing up for that [ __ ]

now all these republicans talking all

that [ __ ] and i'm not trying to be

partisan but when the [ __ ]

rushed the capital

did any of you guys go to greet your

constituents

no you ran to the bunker yeah i feel

like you know but

constituents aren't like fans did you

ever see those videos of

cops opening the doors and letting

people in and opening the gates and

letting people through

i did what the [ __ ] is that i never had

that explained

there was there was an investigation

about that i don't know the results of

it but i heard about it

you know what's ominous about it is you

got to think there's probably like 300

cops on duty

capitol hill right by the end of it the

dc

police get called in homeland security

gets calling you know fbi's and so now

there's

a thousand guns inside of the capitol

you know it's like that could have went

a million different ways

you have members accusing other members

of congress

of giving tours and showing people

sensitive areas and you know

this kind of suspicion within law

enforcement within government

it's a very ominous sign yeah this type

of partisanship is a very ominous sign

that

you know this lexicon now so binary

republican democrat republican democrat

is not doing us any favors you know the

in a perfect world the best idea wins

right and and in this current situation

i don't know that

people even agree on what the truth is

that's a problem

it's a real problem chris rock had a

great bit about it

what do you say remember that bit about

gangs like that people just joined gangs

no yeah what did he say it's just uh

i don't want to [ __ ] it up but it's

basically

how whether they're a democrat or or

or a republican they really just get

into gangs

it is that yeah they just decide that

this is this is my

this is my gang right and

their constituents are worried that

they're effectless and like you say the

speed of information is so much

faster now than the speed of bureaucracy

yeah that's

that's a problem it'd be like if you

turned the air condition under your car

and it came on four months later

we needed it we needed to eat right now

bro especially with the stimulus checks

right like how long did it take before

they actually sent checks out in the

mail remember all the talk about it no i

do

took forever i wonder why they never i

guess i know why i was going to say

a stupid question why they never

suspended the gift tax like if i wanted

to give

my brother or my sister or my friend

some money during a time like this why

tax that transaction they want the money

well not just staying with money

think about how rich people would move

their money around of course if they

unfettered that yeah

it's it's the greed is killing us

they agreed i agree it's killing us it's

not good

nah it's not good at all but you know

it's again like what we were talking

about before like you would give the

taxes up if you felt like it was

for something right it really felt like

it did

like if you knew that your tax money was

really enhancing the world

really helping right instead of going to

some [ __ ] up

we're bringing crayons to the ghetto

what

why are you doing that with the money

because kids need crowns in the ghetto

it's like who's prioritizing the [ __ ]

i don't know bro i mean not to be

cynical but

this this thing this thing tricky this

one we're doing now i

i hope everyone does

anything that they can do

to help foster trust amongst each other

yeah i'm not talking about government

and politics i don't give a [ __ ] if

someone likes trump or anything i know a

lot of good

decent hard-working people that

have political ideas that i think are

nonsense

but i don't i don't conflate that with

their character i don't conflate that

with culture these things are all

different issues they

you know what they say throw the baby

out with the bath water they can't do

that like

i'm not gonna throw a whole person away

because they have four ideas i don't

like

i just hope that if the economy can

bounce back people will start to relax

again

and if uh not just vaccines but also

some form of effective therapy so that

even if someone's not vaccinated and

they get covid there's a very effective

way to treat it if that does happen

all right what about this this is what

if say they

they didn't cure covet or they had no

vaccine or nothing was just like

it's called six months ago right uh

but during that time they stumbled onto

a cure for aids do you stay in or they

go out

stay in it or go out with you stay

inside of the go out the covert's still

out there but aids is key oh i keep

going out

yeah yeah yeah yeah i keep going out

yeah no aids break out that disco ball

we going we going through the goddamn

disco [ __ ] over 19. the real problem is

if it becomes

some like not even covet but something

else that's worse

like some really bad one like a spanish

flu like something that kills

a large percentage of the people that

get it this one was pretty bad though

but it was less than one percent which

i'm talking about something that kills

10

20 jesus i couldn't imagine those are

real i mean those have

existed throughout history this one when

we say it's pretty bad

we it's pretty bad but it's pretty bad

because of the sheer numbers of human

beings

we got lucky in the sense that i mean

obviously not lucky for anybody who died

and nothing but love and respect to all

those people that lost loved ones that's

right

but we're talking about just raw numbers

and i think this is also

what got elon in trouble when you look

at the 99 point whatever it is

percentage of people survive when they

get it

especially when they're young especially

people with no comorbidities

that is a relatively mild pandemic

in comparison to what's happened in

history if you look at

any sort of real plague like horrific

ones again like this

i mean this this last one new york city

four months straight lost 2

000 people a day it's hard to wrap my

mind around that it's hard to wrap your

mind

i met some woman who was an er nurse in

new york you know

who who had the witness the carnage

up close i couldn't i mean there was a

lot of mistakes made

that uh i wonder if they would go back

first of all the respirators remember

when they were all looking for

respirators

yeah new york city needs respirators

then they realized no no respirators

kill people

right i do remember this yeah they

didn't know but that's the thing with

covert like nobody it's like it's like

getting covered when i got covert

the the first few days like you just sit

around

and wait to see what it'll do to you um

you know what i mean and

and i was i was incredibly lucky i was i

was like

largely asymptomatic you know

uh so i was smoking cigarettes the whole

time the whole [ __ ] but i was waiting

to get flattened how many days did it

take before you tested negative

uh maybe inside of 10

inside of 10 days like it whatever my

immune system did that that should work

and you take vitamins do you take care i

said all this [ __ ] matter of fact

you gave me a vitamin regiment yeah i

took it very seriously i took all that

[ __ ] oh good

yeah what was it zinc and all this stuff

yeah

i took the [ __ ] d3 you know whether that

was what was doing it or not i don't

know

but i did it well it most certainly

would help

it didn't hurt me yeah it didn't hurt it

didn't hurt me and like i said

i was largely asymptomatic so you know i

felt very lucky but there was other

people that i knew and that same

outbreak

you know they had tough time with it

everyone yeah thank god it's healthy but

it's not you know just doesn't do the

same thing to everybody

it doesn't and and and that's what's i

guess

vitamins are everything and that's one

of the things that made me furious

during this time that there was no

emphasis

on taking vitamins they didn't make it

seem like it was a big deal and there's

no emphasis on getting healthy and

losing weight not in the media but you

know

every health and you know again this is

the latest thing to say but every

healthcare professional i talk to

because i have access to decent

healthcare did bring up the importance

of vitamins and when you said that it

wasn't it

wasn't like completely falling to my

ears i heard such things you just gave

me a very specific regimen

yeah and i tried it and it worked but it

didn't hurt me

yeah no you you cruised through it so

did donnell which is hilarious

i know because he's in terrible shape

if will smith thinks he's in terrible

shape he needs to take a look at donnell

for real i mean oh yeah will smith did

pose a dead body

hilarious it's hilarious i'm not gonna

lie to you i'm in the worst shape of my

life

oh he's a big smile on his face though

he's a funny dude yeah well he's i think

what will smith is probably going to do

will smith's one of those dudes that

just like

sets his mind to things i bet what he's

going to do is

take that photograph and then you're

going to see him four or five months

from now shredded

that's what i bet oh yeah i could see

that yeah that's the motivation the

motivation is he takes a pose

looks terrible looks like [ __ ] tells

everybody hey this is the worst shape

i've ever been in my life

and then he's like all right now it's go

time yeah it's funny he still look like

a movie star in bad shape how the [ __ ]

are you doing this will

remember when he played ali it was

amazing dude

he looked great he looked [ __ ] great

yeah he did he looked great

i mean he got in tip-top magoo shape he

looked [ __ ] fantastic in that movie

if you think about even the courage it

would take

to take on a role like that because

jamie foxx who's he playing

tyson yes okay that's going to be dope

because jamie i'm sure probably by now

if he couldn't before it can talk just

like mike tyson oh yeah if i memorize

the rhythm of mike tyson oh yeah

and he'll probably look like him somehow

jamie's an alien

he's he's so nice with it i remember

watching ray being like i can't believe

i know this dude

and he was doing ray charles so good and

then he took the sunglasses i'm like oh

you jamie again

he's so talented he's in every way he's

so talented as a singer he's talented as

a comedian he's talented as an actor

he's just got a way he's got a thing

he's gotten there's no

fat in his portrayals you know he just

cuts through it

it's clean he just knows how to do it

he's also one of those feel good people

yeah you know they're positive yeah he's

just fun to be around

never seen him as like a party pooper

ever right he's [ __ ] jacked right now

is he really jacked yeah because he's

building up to play tyson look at him

geez louise

yeah and you know he's not even done yet

he's

building up into mike tyson's shape yeah

that's

that's never going to happen to me by

the way

i got i got swole for a minute but i was

like this is stupid you did you got

pretty big for a while it was it was

ridiculous

one point a covet well

there before copenhagen yeah i stopped

working out in cold last time i can

remember being in a gym was like

uh february 2020.

you know what i mean and then after that

it was just like you know

i was on the road i was in london why'd

you get jacked though

what made you decide to start working

out that's chappelle show [ __ ] bro

yeah yeah i think you know honestly what

i think one of the catalysts was

not the catalyst but one of them was the

fact that

the fact that they kept saying i smoked

crack

and i was a skinny dude and felt like i

can't defend myself

in this like i'm so skinny that this

thing is believable that bugged [ __ ] out

of me

how many people said you smell crack was

it in articles like what was it in

i believe it was an article in newsweek

didn't say i smoked crackers it was some

legal precision

there was some guy saying i'm not saying

it was the drugs at the time i wouldn't

you know i wouldn't do nothing i was

like this is [ __ ] up

yeah crack so that's that's one of those

like if you were to do something to ruin

your life that's the thing

i mean i was from dc my our mayor smoked

crackers

he seemed fine it's not well it's just

yeah wasn't that obscure it was poor

people cocaine yeah that's exactly what

it is

um do you know who uh dr carl hart is

no he's a really interesting guy he's a

a guy who is a clinical researcher and

was real straight laced

but uh he was a university researcher i

forgot what you know

what university is he at i forget but

columbia

brilliant brilliant guy i found him on

the podcast a couple times but

was researching the effects of drugs and

started realizing

depictions the depictions of drugs and

drug use

are all [ __ ] up like people have this

distorted idea

of what these drugs do to you like he

loves heroin and he talks about it

he does he does heroin he snorts heroin

all times like pure heroin

is wonderful like it's great it's like

it enhances my relationship with my wife

and

you know he talks about trying pure

cocaine and all these different drugs

he's like he does drugs all the time and

he's a professor

he's a professor at columbia oh wow a

brilliant guy

and like it's tough to argue with him

because he knows so

much about drugs from the perspective of

an actual researcher and plus a guy who

actually uses them

but goes out of his way to time he has

dreads like he doesn't look like a

typical professor in that sense it is

like he looks like but wait what

what what is he a professor of exactly

um

yeah there you go okay psychology

psychologist okay so no psychiatrist

prescribes drugs yeah correct but a

psychologist diagnoses

mental illness right yeah okay yeah

psychologists try to help you

work through things right isn't that the

idea yeah but this guy doesn't stan he

sounds like any

functional drug addict i've ever met and

in my line of work i i

i have met and do know many yeah

but he's not a drug addict he's actually

in

he just said he does drugs all the time

does

whatever drugs he wants and let me guess

he can quit anytime he wants

[Laughter]

he's actually put himself through

withdrawals on purpose to to document it

so he's put himself into a situation

where he like he did heroin

multiple days in a row to a point where

his body became physically addicted

and then got off of it just to document

what the withdrawal

process is actually like this is like

having a flu this is the most clever

drug addict i've ever heard

i'm not sick i'm documenting sickness

that's crazy yeah i don't know bro

i think that [ __ ] i've seen so many

wonderful people they'll never know

in the same way again because of drugs

because of drugs

that's true it's heartbreaking but what

makes them

what makes one person fall apart due to

drugs and another person not that's

where it gets tricky

because some of it's biological some of

it's right but it's just like covered

and what

and why did i feel fine in in 2000

people's day in new york that mean

don't start because i know fat people

don't like

it's uh there was a lot of things going

on in new york it wasn't just the

obesity but

i have a friend who was a doctor there

and he said did say

it was a lot of obese people

unfortunately you eat bad food

bad things happen and that that is just

that's just the reality of being a human

being

all right i mean but i also think it's

the reality of being a drug addict

right like like bad drugs bad things

happen right this [ __ ] is nothing to

play with

and how many minds are strong enough

like this professor

to responsibly do hard drugs i

yeah this is a rare it's like an x-men

superpower

well he's also a guy who understands the

actual

physical reaction these chemicals and

compounds have on the brain

and on the body he knows it from like

you know an academic perspective

i mean michael jackson od by drugs that

was administered

yeah by a physician well that was weird

[ __ ] right yeah

imagine the kind of stress that that guy

was under he was under so much stress he

had to get anesthetized every night

yeah i could i couldn't imagine any

thing michael jackson did once he bought

that first giraffe i was like

you want a whole new level bro

i don't know what any i don't know any

of the emotional content

of a guy's life like that there's

there's people that were pioneers in the

fame

game and uh you think about michael

jackson's one of them elvis is another

one

there's there's there's people that were

pioneers in being super famous

to the point where nobody had been super

famous like michael jackson before

michael i don't know that anyone ever

will again

be what he was right or elvis was or the

beatles were it's different things no

that [ __ ] i think that [ __ ] is done yeah

maybe it's a different thing i can't

think of one

thing that everyone will agree on that

much right

ever again right in this context i

remember michael jackson i've told this

before but

michael jackson i was listening to uh

wbcn the rock of boston

and uh they were going look i know this

isn't rock but it's so [ __ ] good

we're gonna play it anyway

and they played michael jackson oh

that's it's that

it was that good yeah it was so good

they played it on rock stations

he was ubiquitous yeah i mean

you know who knows the [ __ ] that scope

was like the closest thing

that i've ever like seen of that up

close would be like eddie

yeah one of the guys who's been you know

on that level

yeah and eddie is is a cool [ __ ]

in fact if you're in his

orbit it feels normal in there yeah

and go to his house and bowl and talk

[ __ ] and you know his kids

come in and out and you know it's just

like he's

it seems like a a sitcom but it's really

hilarious

um eddie got eddie got the he he's funny

as [ __ ] bro

he can talk like anybody says

wild wildly imaginative things

why do you think he doesn't do stand-up

uh you know this [ __ ] ain't no bicycle

man

you know what i mean uh he's he's an

anomaly in the sense that i'm sure

it would come right back to him like

when he cuts up in the house it should

be

real funny but i don't know what it

would mean i don't know what it means to

him

having been this person right

what's also he feels like his material

when he goes back and watches raw he's

like kind of embarrassed by it

he's uh you know that it's you know it's

funny when i

put out my first two netflix joints my

hands on kimmel

was the only press i did and but there

was a thing going on in the press where

everyone was

saying that the specials were dated you

know because

there were jokes in there that they

considered transphobic you know

and i still don't think those jokes

transphobic you know i'm not going to

have that discussion but if i ever have

to

boy i'm ready but the point is

the point is that the thing i said to

kimmel

was i don't get mad at a photograph

because it wasn't

taken today in other words

whatever was going on in 87 when he laid

that set down

it was working in 87. that's what that's

where people were at and a good comedian

is an indicator of the time or their

context

and i look at eddie's [ __ ] like that

like i wouldn't look at any of his old

material

as embarrassing sometimes i'm starting

like well i could never do that now

right but it's it makes it even more fun

to see that

there was this time when he was just

saying these things i don't

you know i'm a comedian i i don't smell

any malice in it i don't think he's

trying to hurt anybody that's just this

guy's just cracking

he was doing comedy that was uh relevant

during the time

that he was doing it it was the world

was a different place right and it's not

irrelevant now

the thing that's remarkable is he's a

different guy right which is why

he feels embarrassed it's nothing about

what happens to the world

what happened to this guy in the world

he sees the world different now

and this happens crazy thing is he

doesn't look a day older

he looks great he looks amazing he looks

great

yeah it's amazing one time i was

watching tv with eddie

and sam from the sun rerun was on

and he says i'm as old now

as red fox was in this episode wow

saying from the sun

that's crazy right then look at the

television and look at that him like

damn he goes yeah i'm as old now as

carol o'connor was

in all in the family you think how

archie bunker look that [ __ ]

looks terrible crazy terrible there goes

eddie looking like it's 1987

[ __ ] that's crazy yeah

that is that is wild yeah he's just

taking so good care of himself

what does he do does he exercise a lot

no i have no idea it's like prince

you know i've never seen prince eat or

drink anything i'm sure he does it

i don't know what eddie does he bowls

he's a family guy and stuff like that

like he's really into his family it's

just and good to see

it's normal bro like like for all the

things you know

for all the things you'll hear about

hollywood i'm always startled how

normal everybody is i don't know if it's

just

the angle i get to see or but all that

pageantry and [ __ ] that's completely

unsustainable nobody can do that

all the time yeah somewhere somehow

you're just gonna be

yourself isn't it weird that that's what

we think about when we think about

hollywood we think about red carpets and

people with tuxedos on

and ridiculous watches and purses and

and all just shh on the red carpet

that's a tough one it's weird i mean i

don't know and by the way i don't knock

anybody for doing that

no i don't think but that's you know

that ain't what we doing no

i'm not interested no it's fun sometimes

it's it's just so weird it's so

different than real life

yeah but in a weird way that is their

real life that's a work thing

it's a peak work thing it's like this is

peak

glam ta-da but this thing will

and i think this is changing in the

culture remember there was this thing

about

celebrities could never be unhappy yeah

[ __ ] that man that's that's

you know i'm not saying they should

display that but assume just assume

everybody has a bad day

right [ __ ] that red carpet face i'm

gonna make that [ __ ] face for the

rest of my life

yeah like that i think you know

i'm as i get older i'm overwhelmed by

how human we all

are it it really makes me like people

more

and forgive people more that's important

that's everything forgive people you

know forgive yourself everybody

forgive yourself i just think that the

i don't know in this season of my life

uh

i meant to i hope hopefully i'll do

something

okay i will make this mean something

other than just the trappings of success

how hot my whip is or

you know how pretty my [ __ ] and all

the stupid [ __ ] that that we

have been trained to focus on i wanted i

wanted

i wanted to be better than that i don't

know what do you want to do

you have an idea i have some ideas

nothing i would really want to i don't

want to make any public declarations

because then i'm going to have to do

this [ __ ]

but but i

as just the general rule and by the way

there's

so many surprising ways that you can be

of use to people not big things everyone

always trying to hit a homer but

sometimes they smile you muster for a

person or you know

it's a lot of things you can do i just

try to you know walk softly on the earth

and have some fun

you know but i just know that investing

celebrity

into more to getting more celebrity is a

treadmill i don't

feel interested in running on in the

twilight of my life

right yeah [ __ ] that yeah no you get it

you know what it's like to be famous

yeah yeah and and i'm

not mad at famous when you say fame i'm

not mad at that celebrity

well that's the one what's the

difference it's fine i'm starting the

letterman about it celebrity is the role

that's the one on the red carpet you're

famous

it's not that you're not a celebrity but

it's not like you're sticking your pinky

toe out on the red carpet

you're not going placing people saying

what are you wearing right you didn't

make your life about that you you know

you're not tethered to endorsements and

this that and the other

you you're tethered to yourself to your

journey to your life

it which makes it meaningful right you

know and

you know for you to talk the [ __ ] that

you talk

even in this context there's a

courageousness that you have to you know

you're subject to so much

outside scrutiny you know

i mean but you do it anyway that's why

it's courageous you know

you're relentlessly yourself it takes a

it

takes this is a practice skill this

takes some

consistency you have to choose in the

beginning

like you have to take an inventory know

who you

actually are some people think they are

the famous guy

famous your circumstances it's not

necessarily who you are

trust me when i left the show i wasn't

famous

there was circumstances that i left

behind i mean it was famous but it

wasn't

that thing right it's different

and and i realized you know when we came

up we

coveted that thing without even knowing

what it was

because it seemed unattainable you would

see other people that had it

you know someone would show up at the

club and walk through and you're like oh

[ __ ]

look at him yeah he is

you know right but it wasn't it was

still an abstraction like

you know right if martin walks in and

looks brimming with happiness

right martin walked in martin

was the first guy that i ever saw that

walked in with security

hilarious i was like wow he's got

security at the store

and needed it bro oh yeah i people

forgot

how [ __ ] strong martin lawrence was

god damn his act was powerful i used to

have to follow him mitzi shore was

hilarious she used to always

she thought you were funny she would put

you on after the best comedians and just

throw you right to the wolves she always

thought it was funny

she always put me on after i was you

know 27

26 years old whatever i was she would

put me on after martin lawrence all the

time and i would just bomb

but that's what that's how you get great

i remember the first time i met martin i

was in high school

wow i saw martin do a show him and tommy

dave this might be one of the best

single comic shows i've ever seen

and it was like a local dc club marlon

wayans was there he was going to college

in dc at the times the night i met him

and man first of all tommy davidson went

on he

man this [ __ ] tommy can crack

he's a funny funny funny funny guy

a great performer great impressionist uh

every every skill set that you could

think of he has

in abundance and martin was headlining

i watched tommy's show and i i was

worried for the headliner when does that

ever happen

hmm lauren was fine martin was fine like

like

like the [ __ ] he did on that stage that

night and this was like

in the area that he grew up in so he

had that set um you know there's

probably a couple of girls in high

school that dissed them that was there

and that kind of [ __ ]

he did the thing bro and i'm telling you

the

martin lawrence was a

beast he was a beast on stage people

forgot for some reason

[ __ ] i never i'm from dc so i can't

forget like like when i when i was

starting out he was the local legend

already

well when i first came to l.a it was in

94 he was in his peak

oh yeah jesus yeah that was you so crazy

days

yeah that was some elvish [ __ ] he was

hosting def jam

yeah he had the sitcom yep he was he

he was putting out specials and just

started getting big in that movie game

and the sp when you watch his sitcom

people forget

he did a bunch of different characters

on that show like it was all him the

show was all him yes

he was he was nice with it he still he's

probably still nice with that i mean i

haven't seen martin in a long time

i haven't seen him in forever i ran into

him at the store like a few years back

but just briefly you know he was doing a

few sets

every now and then he called me after

one of my the mark twain prize

and if you you know cause i'm from dc i

got to tell you this call

it means a lot to me yeah he was

yeah he was one of my early local

heroes i came up on a good circuit too

like

one boston but dc wanda sykes would

start out with me pat and oswald was

around you know tony woods martin

lawrence

tommy davidson there was some there was

some great comics

that's one thing the comedy always needs

it needs you need to be around other

great comics

that's true the circuit yeah and back in

those days no internet nothing

every city has some different energy

and the comedians they're like it's

always exciting to go to a city and

check out the other acts

yeah boston like you say well that was

one of those cities

it was a weird city it was but it was a

trap that's what we were talking about

before

those guys can make six figures staying

in town but that's what they did

because if they went on the road they'd

actually make less money what made you

go to hollywood

why didn't you fall for that um i saw

what they were doing and even though

they were great comedians i saw that

they couldn't do the road

and i was like if you want to get on hbo

or if you want to you know you have a

special

you got to you got to get out of town

and the young guys coming up kind of saw

the old guard

that these some of the best head

learners have ever seen in my life i've

seen don gavin have sets

steve sweeney upsets that i mean i will

put those sets up against any comic i've

ever seen ever

you know it was funny the first night i

saw dane cook

uh they go yawn after so and so you know

i it was a cocky

i don't worry about none of that [ __ ]

but but they i heard the crowd scream so

loud i thought they had introduced me

wow it was dang he was just starting out

this was these were crowd reactions this

guy there's a there was a thing in

boston everyone was a

room ripper like they were all about

volume intensity yeah don gavin that

rapid fire

style i'll never forget he and then in

the midst of all that

you'd have a counterweight like stephen

wright

this wonderfully understated

deadpan comedian it was that [ __ ] was

fire boston was a good circuit have you

ever seen the documentary when

up stood out no there's a comic named

france alameda he put together this

documentary on boston

it's really good it just shows you what

what it was like back in those days like

they kind of invented a movement it's

really a lot of it was barry crimmins

rest in peace who's barry crimmins barry

crimmons was like the godfather of

boston comedy a lot of ways cause he was

this really brilliant guy

very politically savvy and uh he kept

everybody from being a hack

because everybody was scared of him he

was like this [ __ ]

bull boy like loud bold

guy who uh he would go on stage and he

had a

jacket on he would pull budweiser out of

the inside pocket of his jacket and set

it on the table

he had like these things he would do but

it was a great comic but

maybe more importantly he was like a

cornerstone of the scene

like if if barry didn't like you you

were [ __ ]

right if barry thought you were a hack

you were [ __ ] and they didn't tolerate

hacks he didn't tolerate thieves he was

quality control

quality control yeah every every circuit

i guess yeah

yeah and they there's the thing like dan

cooks talked about this too that they

were all

men these guys were all these big guys

they were all like

six foot plus big burly guys who did a

lot of coke and gotten street fights

all those comics they weren't like

nebishy you know comics who would you

know talk about their insecurities

they were wild dudes who were like rock

stars yeah

i remember doing a show in boston again

i'm like saying things but

i just remember seeing a guy who was

heckling me

and and and the security threw him down

the steps yeah

and i've never seen any i've never seen

anything like but so casually like

this is what we do with trash like jesus

man

yeah there was a lot of violence in

boston it was it was it was a weird and

i never really got

a feel for that city i would meet these

intellectuals and

idiots in the same block the [ __ ] is

this place

well there's more colleges per capita in

boston than anywhere else in the country

yeah yeah i used to go up there and play

college gigs all the time

and you know the remember the boston

police felt particularly menacing

yeah those [ __ ] high boots stayed

weird with no horse

to match the [ __ ] uh you could stop away

it's a weird city but then it produced

so many great

you know sources of comedy even people

who aren't from boston a guy like howard

stern that went to bu

a guy like patrice o'neill came out came

out of the hood

moved down to new york and cleaned [ __ ]

up out there was

an interesting scene patrice is a

similar type of thing right

he was like a cornerstone of uh of

comedy in new york when people talk

about

like people getting silly or being

stupid they go god i wish patrice was

here to see this

yeah patrice yeah the world weary kind

of swag about it

earlier i mean him didn't like get along

but we we became friends

he because this guy was like he was he's

a real deal

he was the real deal god i wish he

stayed alive i do too man oh

the comedy he would have put out during

all this [ __ ]

and well yes well that's interesting

because i don't know what would happen

to a guy like him

in this context hmm he's not buckling

i'll tell you that i know so how's that

right i don't know what's gonna happen

to him

yeah it would be interesting to see it

it really would be

you know one can only imagine one can

only imagine but

but he was man he was something he's

funny dude

i remember him and kevin got to new york

around the same time

i just think kevin was from boston

because i'd see them together so much i

assume

and their arrival on the scene was like

both you know

both of these guys when they got on the

scene it was it was noticeable

um it went like they came in quietly

they was doing some [ __ ] that's another

thing that every scene needs

every every scene needs a rocket yeah

someone that shakes [ __ ] up yeah like

whoa

like someone who's not stagnant they're

not

complacent they're going for it i got to

tell you new york city

in the 90s some of the greatest comedy

i've ever seen like

it was it was weird too because i was

one of those guys that would

be in new york and then go out to l.a a

little earlier than everyone else

like you know i i did montreal and then

i'd go out for this and i

go out for that and i started you know

auditing both scenes

you know new york was like the dream

but l.a uh

those comics were like the work ethics

were different

new yorkers write more you know in

general

if you do if you do 10 spots in the

night

you come up with a new joke on the third

show you got

seven cracks at it by the end of the

night yeah even though you just started

the thing is refined yeah

that's a good point yeah la didn't have

any opportunity to do that that's a

different world

right la people were so competitive

about stage time

they was that shit's like the karate kid

tournament these [ __ ] got

killed

every night sweep the leg but sensei you

got a problem with that

that's l.a no mercy la in the 90s

was everybody trying to get a sitcom too

that was part of the problem oh yeah it

was it was a gold rush

yeah they saw what happened with

roseanne and jerry seinfeld and

i don't even know if that was coming

completely from the comedians the

studio system was so hungry for

comedians to build these shows around

yeah

they would give you these crazy

development deals yeah i mean

you know i did a million of those that's

it it took me

like 13 14 of them shits to be like man

[ __ ] that [ __ ]

before you get a chapel [ __ ] but the

good thing is i learned

how television worked basically how

supposed to work and what i'd like to do

with it

what was interesting is that they

basically gave you free money

the people don't understand this like

they would give you like a half a

million dollars or a quarter million

dollars

and you would get this development deal

needed to attach you to a bunch of

writers

they put together a script and it may or

may not go and if it didn't go you just

got a free quarter million dollars and

you worked on a script and

maybe it went to pilot maybe it didn't

yeah but if it didn't go

you were a bad investment you had a

couple of those in you

and it could hurt it could hurt you it

could you know

if they ever look at you like you're a

bum investment the thing was with me

i was funny yeah but they didn't quite

know what to do with me

yeah and and i didn't know either yeah

i don't know those days the montreal

days were weird right people go

out there just go out there to showcase

showcase their their talent

try to get a deal and then uh do you

remember chicken

do you remember that guy i do remember

he had he got some huge deals

mid-90s and it didn't late 90s flopped

terribly

like for whatever reason they thought he

was funny and nobody else did yeah the

name chicken should have tipped them off

maybe this is bad ideas who should we

make the check out to chicken

well he had a big crazy act it was like

a lot of energy

i never saw him work i saw him work i

worked with him in montreal but that

name is stupid

[Laughter]

no no disrespect chicken but that's a

stupid-ass name

so it all fell apart and then he wound

up hanging himself in front of us

oh now you got to bring that up and i

feel bad cause i said i just

shouted out chicken and this nigga's

dead five years

oh my god but that's he hung himself in

front of school yeah

yeah there you go yeah

because of comedy it didn't work out

it fell apart so like he thought he was

on this rocket ship to fame like oh my

god i got the biggest deal ever

he got like the biggest development deal

anybody had ever heard of i remember

and then they were like they're gonna

make a show around him i forget what

kind of show it was gonna be

and then uh didn't work out and then he

slowly faded away

and then he vanished and then one day he

killed himself how long after the deal

fell apart

quite a long time more than a decade he

never got over the experience of almost

making it

i don't know who knows i mean maybe he

was mentally ill maybe he's suffering

from depression

from the beginning and maybe that big

crazy wild act was his like

so it may have not had anything to do

with show business totally possible

but it's not a good narrative the good

narrative is showbiz has got him right

yeah would you see if you can find that

guy

i never saw a set i remember everyone in

town was talking about

never seen him comedians couldn't

understand what was going on

he would make a lot of noise and bounce

around on stage and screaming and

yelling and

everybody's like what is he doing i've

seen a few comics like that

they'll be killing though and i'll be

like i don't understand

well the agents thought they had it

they're like this is it

he's gonna be huge we got him and you

know they

played against each other and got this

giant deal

this is tragic it's weird now i'm

mourning the loss of chicken i never

even met this [ __ ] there were

quite a few people that thought they

were going to be giant i remember quite

a few people who got development deals

and

and all of a sudden they had assistance

like you know right you got an assistant

people would show up with an assistant

and someone would take notes while

they're on stage and

they'd have their coffee ready for them

and they would you know they've drove a

mercedes

like what are you doing we got a got a

development deal

my show's gonna go it's got a guy

guarantee and then they do the pilot

right that's why i call my company

pineapple you know how many of them

[ __ ] pilots i did i was like [ __ ]

this this is like

gonna be for it was hell that's why you

call it pilot boy that's it

that's hilarious development hell i've

spent over a decade in my life

tanking around with that [ __ ] that's

hilarious

do you do you think you're going to do

more of these podcasts the ones that you

uh

have produced you're going to keep doing

that

i'd like to yeah yeah i think uh

you know it's not like this gig you know

i mean

it's as joyful as this like i talk to

people i enjoy talking to

you i don't want to like tip my hand too

much because i want people to like

listen and see for themselves what it is

i don't like describing

it's like telling a girl how you're

gonna [ __ ] her before you do it

let's see what it feels like

you know it's but but i enjoyed it man

like again

who i'm talking to i hope you do it one

day you got to hear it though

you you loved i've heard it i've heard

episodes oh that's right well

yeah yeah i would love to do it i would

definitely do it

i love what you did in yellow springs

too because you were the first guy to

figure it out you were the first guy to

say you know what let's just

i'm gonna do comedy we got to it early

man

when did you start like what was the

first shows june 6. the first night was

the night i did that

a video that was on youtube 8 46 that

george floyd

very first night 70 people maybe a five

acre field wow i was like as soon as

that you know what was happening

so many people in live entertainment

were furloughed that i started finding

out

from the production world who had gotten

furlough and that stopped picking them

up it was like you know

and this a lot of these people had

payment cash because if i if i did it

you know straight down the middle right

they lose their benefits and if for any

reason i had to cancel the shows then

they're just stranded with no benefits i

couldn't do that

right so it was like the 80s and shots

paying everybody on the table even

though we wouldn't do anything illegal

but

you know uh and

the night before the first show

i was like a condemned man i i had to

put a call into the governor's office at

night i mean [ __ ] nightclub comic

i'm calling the governor uh and it was a

it was a long shot but but

shout out to governor dewine he hit me

back and

he he let me do it because uh you know

after that massacre in dayton we had

done a big

thing that really i think really helped

heal the community

and because of that he was like okay

i'll let you do it but

the covet protocols were so strict and

and we had to learn from scratch how did

how to do it you know nothing's going to

be perfect it's a pandemic everything

you do is

going to be risky but we had to figure

out how to do it as safe as possible

within the within the parameters of

guidelines that the government saw fit

but we were able to work did you sell

booze

i don't know we had to give it away oh

wow

you know like you know there's a lot of

stuff that we've built into the ticket

the mask and all these things that

you know we try to make accessible the

shows are expensive to produce

so i didn't make any money i lose money

every night but

you know here we are a year later i

might be 105

shows ahead of everybody right right

because i was working you stayed active

yeah we you know we we might have done

like what we might have done a good a

good 30 40 shows here

yeah so what's that you've we found a

way

and the best part like i said is we all

got to be together so

you know people would fly in from la and

in new york

and we'd work three nights a week and

some people would stay and we

you know we could chill because we

eventually we got access to testing that

was the game changer so we test every

day and

so when you first started out there was

no testing no it's just

well there was for the comedians

you know but but the crowd it's like

going to the grocery store

right you come with your own risk

everyone masked up everyone was outside

everyone was asked everything was

outside everything was probably so

socially distanced one of the things i

learned early on

is selling tickets and pairs you know

that

was a game changer because it allowed us

to get more people in

and um you know we it was it just made

everything easier because you imagine if

if there's two single seats you can't

put two strangers together

right in a time like this of course well

you know

it it worked um as far as the audience

was concerned

not a single reported incident i've

heard of

of someone getting sick or infected one

of these shows we were very careful

you know and then eventually started

testing the crowd

right as testing got became more

available in the beginning

having tests was like oh my god can't

believe it right

got our hands on these it was very

difficult to get testing and

uh the test one is rapid it would take

longer

so you wouldn't have time to test all

those people i mean the staffing that

you'd have to do

to give you know a few hundred people a

test that takes 30 minutes

for results who has that kind of time

yeah

yeah you can't wait 30 minutes right

you know but now like like you know

when we play in vegas we we have the

capacity now we could test

all 13 000 people and get them in

in a reasonable time

yeah sounds crazy but it's possible yeah

now it is yeah early on in the pandemic

that was i think

like you know remember when trump said

something like just stop

testing everybody yeah i'm telling you

from experience

that's a terrible terrible idea it's a

ridiculous thing to say

yeah like i can't believe that

[ __ ] was in charge at a time

like that

what are you saying and that was a while

he was saying the reason the numbers are

so high is because we're testing more

people yeah

yeah oh my man like come on let's think

this through

well that's just something take a swig

of lights on my [ __ ] think about what

you just said

what the [ __ ] is this guy talking about

that's your leader

it's so interesting that that guy's not

on social media now

they try to try to get back on facebook

and they're like no come back in six

months

it's like he's up for parole yeah you

know it's a weird thing being a comedian

because there's a thing about trump that

if the circumstances weren't so dire and

the consequence is so high

that would have been hilarious to watch

yeah yeah

yeah but but man people died and

countries all [ __ ] up now and the

capital looks like jail

i know it's crazy it does looks like a

green zone now yeah i'm from dc i got to

tell you that [ __ ] was particularly

offensive to me

yeah and dc that's the town business is

government

and those people that were in that

building so many of them are people from

the neighborhoods like

it feels like you [ __ ] my city up yeah

it's just a scary precedent when you

decide you're gonna break down

boundaries and you're going to rush the

capitol building

and you're going to deal with no real

plan and you're going to take pictures

on pelosi's desk with your feet up

and take pictures holding the flag

wearing a buffalo

right there's no one to negotiate with

who should i talk to this [ __ ]

with the zip ties of this bull ankle

[ __ ] like who the

[ __ ] are these people i mean [ __ ] these

people you guys are [ __ ] the country

up

changed everything one day one day

changed everything because

then people knew that that was possible

that never happened

yeah it didn't happen at the millionaire

march and they was ready for us

but look at this [ __ ] and the president

was the catalyst for it

you know whether you want to say he's

legally responsible or not that's fine

but

he didn't expect he did say go take the

building back

you got to be strong did he say go take

the building back is that what he said

he said you gotta take out country bank

you say gotta be stopped

let me not put words in in this fellow's

mouth and i'm not i'm not no

i'm not an anti-trump guy i'm not i'm

not pro any like this [ __ ] is like

theater to me i remember when uh he won

you had a great speech

he said let's give him a chance right

you know i said that

because he was duly elected and stormed

the capitol and rubbed my [ __ ] on the

walls the next day

[ __ ] did someone drop their [ __ ] on

the wall i believe a person did

is his first time in the capitol he got

excited it's kind of amazing only one

person got shot

you know as sad as that was it is

amazing because

i mean that could have been a terrible

terrible terrible situation yeah

and and miraculously you know

it could have been so much worse if

there was like carnage there jesus could

you know

if one shot went off in the wrong

context

right the whole building would have been

lit up yeah

there were four different five four five

different law enforcement departments in

there

by the end of it that's crazy you know

seeing

seeing your officials flee their

constituents

well that's crazy you know what's crazy

is that was

five months ago and they're still

catching people

oh that's not gonna stop right now no

doubt they will stop they're getting

people off of photographs

facial recognition software videos

people turning their friends in right so

it's

this is this is all like ominous [ __ ]

bro but hopefully it's a growing thing

and on the other side of this people be

more willing to do

you know right by each other yeah we

just need a legitimate leader

i'll put an ad in the paper

someone who can who can inspire

everybody that you actually want to do

that job

don't want to do that job yeah you know

if it's this hard being a comedian i

can't even imagine

even a guy like obama i think about it

that [ __ ] looks really hard to do being

black

it sounds trite but it's not that was a

that was a

a cultural it was like the moon landing

seeing somebody who's not

white be president united states

especially with a name like

barack hussein obama my god man we

we did that you know uh

i'm i'm fond of what that meant

culturally you could argue about policy

this that or the other but

but um you know ohio we we voted for

trump twice

we voted for obama twice too it's an

interesting

swing state ohio and normally we pick

right like whoever we pick

is the president this last going around

being the exception

maybe the only exception

you know uh

yeah [ __ ] politics man yeah like

literally

that's feckless i'm telling you i'm on

my kindness conspiracy

as long as i'm kind to people like if if

we live by an ethic of kindness if we

foster trust amongst each other it will

matter less what corporations and

politicians say because we'll be able to

trust

our society's cohesiveness yeah but if

you politicize these things

it's going to be very it's going to

become increasingly difficult to come to

an understanding and agreement

yeah i couldn't agree more and i think

it's just

it's so difficult when people get

attached to whatever

political party they are they're in it's

very difficult for them to disagree with

that party and so easy for them to go

along with it

and then so easy for them to hate the

people that are opposed to it the people

that are on the other party

it's such a binary thing it's so dumb

it's also a cold thing to do

in front of all of us yeah because i

don't think people

feel that way no most people don't no

but when we're talking in groups that's

when it gets weird

right talking in tribes yeah it's it's

getting tribal here

i don't know well that was funny i i

don't even really know what you

politically

politically believe or don't believe but

who gives a [ __ ] i get along with you

every time i see you i know you're funny

uh you're nice dude we laugh about [ __ ]

we learn [ __ ] from each other

we you're from boston i'm from dc's very

two very different

types of places and types of cultures

but this culture of comedy this common

denominator

makes me feel like we're of the same

tribe for sure

and there's trans people in my tribe and

there's white and black and asian and

all kinds of people and all of them are

committed to

to this concept of levity and we all get

there different and interesting and

unique ways

and what's wrong with this it works and

we say

terrible [ __ ] to each other all the

[ __ ] time everyone's fine

but it's fun we look forward to it but

it is a tribe

it's a different kind of tribe normally

i get up in the morning

and i dread getting on a plane if i have

to go do work and i was excited to come

here today

not to be on a big podcast oh

[ __ ] around hang with joe i'm sure i

probably said four things that

i wiped already i don't even know it yet

no i'll take a look at the comment

section

yeah i said [ __ ] does everything you

said is a dead-on

likewise hey man you got you got into

your cups what is this thing you got

with this buffalo whiskey yeah no yeah i

can't see you and not celebrate

now obviously is this some cheap [ __ ]

joe no that's the

that's the [ __ ] bro kentucky straight

buffalo tracy

has been around longer than america 1773

that company

really yeah wow tastes like slavery

that's good hey

hey fingers you don't got a cup do you

right here oh poured out your water

oh my god it out that's good okay all

right

water who drinks that celebration all

right so so

to joe rogan

[Music]

thank you jimmy marlon williams was at

my house in ohio

cheers man salute

marlon williams i got to tell you is one

of my favorite people

he's a wildly consistent dude in my life

i just hang out in hollywood and

sometimes i drink too much but i knew

where he lived he's like

only people like nobody living i just

knock on his door

[Laughter]

he got some room in his basement just

throw blankets and then i'd sleep

really cause i trusted him yeah he's

he's just a [ __ ] cool dude man he's a

funny guy

he does he he's he's cool dude that's

awesome anyway i brought him up because

he came to my shack that's why i do my

shows like my little hangout i got a

little clubhouse

around corner from the crib we all just

hang out there nothing nefarious

but marlon was so incensed that i didn't

have ice that he bought me an ice

machine it was the weirdest gift

just he didn't even tell me he just sent

it in the mail

who does that tell me about this club

that you're opening

comedy club yeah had conversation once

with chris rock

yeah i love chris rock too i love all

comedians but but chris

uh and i were talking about and this is

an interesting question i'm gonna

see how you feel about i said how many

seats

are you optimal like when you look at a

crowd how many people do you want to see

out there where you feel like

i'm home chris said

like six thousand and i forget sometimes

got big big star me

200. that's like a sweet spot for me

that's why i love playing the punch line

you know

but but i don't even need that many the

belly room one of my favorite rooms

on earth is the belly room the comedy

store yeah that's like

70 seats soaking wet right yep

i will make this club 120.

this club is not for people who are

trying

to count the gate this club is for

people who want to like rock like

really get into some [ __ ] like try some

[ __ ] out

yeah it's like it's like when that

alternative scene in the 90s

for people at home joe not saying this i

know you know but

in the 90s there was an alternative what

they call an alternative comedy scene

this was patton oswalt and janine

garofalo

and dave cross bob odenkirk these type

of people

and it became real popular it became

like a scene

and i would check it out now traditional

club comics

hated that scene they resented it

because

the things that was going on there these

these jokes weren't structured

it was it was like a lab almost people

would go there and try [ __ ] out what was

interesting about it to me

wasn't what the comedians were trying as

much as it was the way the crowds would

listen to them

like it was one of these setups if you

went there and just did your act

no matter how funny actors that's not

what they wanted to see

what they wanted to see was someone take

a chance

and that [ __ ] was like heaven on earth

when a crowd

pushes someone to just try some stuff

they don't

you don't have to land the trick but the

beauty is in the attempt just try it

whatever this thing is that you're

worried it makes you nervous or

uncomfortable

and that that scene

made a profound impression on me

that that was possible that you could

make a crowd into that

because i'm you know comedians are

addicted to the process of refinement

you know guy like seinfeld is he would

never do a podcast because it's such a

spontaneous off the cuff endeavor

and and his skill as a comedian one of

his super super duper powers jerry

seinfeld

is like a well-refined

comedian he can take an abstraction and

make it

a refined piece this scene didn't have

any of that refinement seinfeld does

that but then he also

does that cars comedians getting cars in

cars getting coffee

show yeah where he's like a podcast he's

loose

i i did that show i enjoyed it actually

we did it in dc

what kind of car did you drive a french

piece of [ __ ]

it like broke down i don't think they

cut that out yeah

it was a good looking car but it was a

piece of [ __ ] he's in the well he's

mostly in the porsches

his most of his thing is porsches if

he's driving those other cars it's

really more for show i think

but it reminds me that show reminds me

of you a little bit in the sense that

it's about his passions yeah he loves

cars he loves comedians he loves comedy

yeah and apparently he likes coffee did

jay leno you ever done jay leno's garage

no

i've done that he is so much better

at that show than at least the way

not that he was bad at hosting the

tonight show but he's himself

he really is himself like he doesn't

have to dress up he wears like the same

[ __ ] every day like a jean shirt and

jean pants and

he doesn't give a [ __ ] what he looks

like he's got no hair and makeup on the

set

he just wants to talk about cars the

guy's got like hundreds of cars he's got

warehouses filled with cars full-time

employees all over the place like

working on all these people

he's got fabricators people that make

sheet metal like fixed fenders and [ __ ]

and all kinds of stuff and

the [ __ ] man loves cars and i brought

my 1965 corvette in

and just he and i just geeking out over

lines and steve strobe the guy who built

my car he came with me and you know we

talked about all the various aspects of

the car and all the improvements all the

different things that he had done to it

and

you can see jay leno going over it he

knows the details of the

1965 the real original motor yeah he

said he's talking about all the

different things and then

and then he drove it he's the only one

other than me that's ever driven that

car

really yeah and he takes it out we go

out to the hills and

went up into los angeles crest forest

you know

man you took me out one night you you

had a hot winter that poor she used to

drive

oh yeah i still got that that was a hot

one that was fun that night was

wild and you started doing the

[ __ ] you know he was up in the

hollywood hills he started doing them

james dean turns i got scared

i got scared what are you doing that

car's glued to the ground though

oh i know you that's what you were

demonstrating yeah you were whipping

that [ __ ]

oh that was the night we went to the uh

naomi campbell yeah book release party

yeah

actually was fun though it was wild it

wasn't that weird

it was weird to me well because you

weren't expecting it yeah you you were

just at the comedy club i ran into you

yeah and was like yo

i need dd let's go to this party joe we

were so high too i was like okay let's

go

it was fun man it was really fun but it

was it was like

you know i thought it was just gonna be

a regular night at the store next you

know

we're in an elevator that's going up the

side of the hill

oh that mountain yeah that was crazy

weird it's a nice house

giant naked picture of naomi campbell on

the side of the building remember that

no of course i do of course i do

it's like 40 foot tall nude it was crazy

and then you get in there and there's

all these famous people this is one of

my favorite parts of the night

we're sitting around and you and i are

talking man

i would not want to be famous like these

people and i look to you and go do you

the most famous person here

it was you joe and you're like no am i i

go you were the most famous person in

this [ __ ] room

and that i don't have you know you know

i

i could forget about it yeah it's yeah

you can forget about it you know how to

let it go but

it was lenny kravitz was there and demi

moore

and there was all these famous people

it's wild i was like oh there's that guy

you know again i'm always shocked like

lenny kravitz

is a cool [ __ ] very cool i

really dig him the first

time i met him uh sherman helmsley they

used to play george jefferson

yeah introduced me to him i did a movie

with him years ago

it was me norm mcdonald sherman helmsley

was in it wow

and and i remember i didn't know him

well but you know i was awestruck as a

jefferson's fan

any norman lear show is what i was

watching

and uh he invited me to come to this

concert with him and i didn't realize at

the time that lenny kravitz mother was

on the jeffersons which is how he knew

him ah man i smoked a joint with george

jefferson and we went out to

see this lenny kravitz show it and what

couldn't have been nicer yeah he was

very normal

doesn't he he lives on a like a giant

ranch in brazil

he has a giant ranch he doesn't live

there he just goes there occasionally

he got yeah he's one of them dudes he

got a beautiful house in paris

i've never been but i've heard stories

he's got

you know spread in the bahamas where his

family is from

oh wow and then and then he got the the

brazilian jump off

so you know he he does it big and and

lenny is a style guy like

mm-hmm everything he does is is just fly

prince was like that too

yes everything just can't fly they did a

tour of uh lenny's house it's a video

and he's going over all the art pieces

and who designed this chair and who made

all these things and showing this

this video of this place in brazil is

beautiful man he started making

furniture

designing furniture stuff like that now

you know it's funny i don't have really

kanye is like this kanye west

is a design genius like it's not a trick

another you know people call cayenne

jeans all the time this is not

just a label that's slapping on it if

you ever see him in a studio session

this [ __ ] looked like captain

kirk just running the bridge like he's

yeah he knows he's nice with it i've

been very lucky to get to see

people who are great at things up close

even being on this podcast

i feel like you can make podcast stuff

but kind of make podcasts up

and and just and i know he is [ __ ] a

strange

neighborhood in life you know

it's one of the like joys of my life

getting to

know these people and knowing and seeing

them be human you know we struggle

through these things we

bellyache about decisions we but but

everyone

no none of these people that i know are

contest winners they all

work very hard yeah be great at what

they do everyone is gifted but these

people spent time

refining their gift and getting

rejection and taking all those shots

that you take in life

and they made something of it i can't

begrudge them there you know and

and i always hope that none of us white

i hope we all survive it and i think

that's why that canceled culture [ __ ]

bothers me

i i'm not even opposed to the ideas

behind you know some of these

cancellations i get it

i get i can't do good things stopping

harassment

you know stop stopping racism

there's ism that is this phobia i get it

let's fight it

and the inclination all of it is to make

the world a better place that's the

inclination it gets abused and misused

sometimes by the wrong people and bad

actors but at the end of the day

what they're trying to do at least what

they think they're trying to do

is eliminate bad aspects of our culture

and our society

right so what they're trying to do right

because society doesn't correct itself

right and in that sense i appreciate it

like when these my kids

make me very hopeful for the future you

know i mean like a lot of people

say i wouldn't want good people i know i

don't want to bring kids into this world

like my age no kids don't do that [ __ ]

if you

if you think you're a good person please

have a kid

put all your good ideas in that kid so

that the world will be better i quote

you all the time because of something

you said to me in the parking lot of the

comedy store you said

my children didn't just increase the

amount of love in my life they increased

my capacity for love oh it's very true

they they and they say they saved my

life i wasn't in

dying straights but man i i wouldn't be

fractionally

i think when i am or have some of the

courage that i was able to muster

it's not like i'm not scared i'll be

scared but i just do [ __ ] anyway

everybody who knows me says uh there's

like

me pre children and post children i'm

like a different person i'm

so much nicer i always liked you john i

never i never

saw he was a mean guy you're always kind

uh you're always edgy and everyone was

scared of you because you know kung fu

[Laughter]

but you know it's not like he was in the

comedy club sweep kicking [ __ ] and

[ __ ] he

was kicking it and i don't know bro

like i just feel real grateful

for the years i got to do this like i

don't feel that i feel grateful too

you know i think we're so fortunate that

you know you look at people

that are living their life and that uh

that famous quote that i love most men

live lives of silent desperation

wow who said that and why did they say

such a thing uh

walden pond what is his name emerson

thoreau

yeah oh it was oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

that was thoreau's quote it's a great

quote and it's so true

most most people are just just [ __ ]

god

every day is his struggle they don't

whether it's

what they're not doing what they want to

do they don't feel loved they're not

surrounded by interesting people

they're not stimulated like every day

my problem is i just have a lot of [ __ ]

to get done that's my

only problem every day but it's funny

though

because a lot of the [ __ ] you do there's

less social capitalism

this is an easy existence now men don't

have to lift heavy things anymore

mm-hmm you know you're out here hunting

your own meat

sharpening your kung fu lifting weights

yeah i'm not doing none of that [ __ ] but

i realized a long time ago i have to do

all those things to keep my head right

i get that i get that i don't know that

i have a similar passion but

you know what i find my solace in

in people there's so much [ __ ] that i

see

you know i would say like i'm talking

about circumstantially what they'd say

normal circumstantial people who have

these incredible

capacities in them it's harder now that

i got notoriety to be around the people

that moved me the most

but it's people like that that guy that

goes to the guy that goes to the job he

doesn't like

i respect this guy oh yeah you know you

know

there's so many people i've met it's

will that's a real

will power people who do actual

public service not these fake woke to

this but the woman that works at the

shelter for them right

for the abused women or helps women get

out of relationships

abusive with their lives or helps

veterans cope with ptsd or

get counseling and this guy i met that

lost both his legs and

and was cracking up laughing with me

when he was talking about it these

people

blow my [ __ ] mind yeah as they should

it's exciting yeah there's a lot of

exciting people out there

and just because someone's famous

doesn't mean they're exciting oh

boy ain't that the truth i ain't gonna

start naming lemons but some of these

[ __ ] are lemons

lames lames

it's so true there's so many of them

they're so bland

yeah but then i'll meet somebody who

doesn't have any notoriety

and they humble me because yes they're

such spectacular people

yeah i've been very fortunate to meet a

lot of interesting people and i think

doing this show has really

changed the way i look at life but your

kung fu has suffered joe that's good

that it has a little bit well it's age

right that too

but it's also just the lack of practice

all the time i just got i

couldn't keep getting injured that's the

problem you would

never fight against no not now i'm 53

years old would you fight another 53

year old like like

mike tyson yeah no mike tyson is still

fighting demons man

wow those demons are still there this

mike tyson is the reason why this desk

is this width

did i tell you that no yeah yeah

i had a smaller desk that i was planning

on using for the new studio

this is the exact same width as the

studio desk

in my old place the exact same one and i

had a small one i'm like maybe better if

i'm a little closer to the people

but then i did a podcast with tyson i

did two of them with tyson one

when he was high when he's running

tyson's ranch

he had a little bit of a belly he was

jolly he was just high all the time we

had a wonderful conversation and then

next time he came in is when he's

preparing for the roy jones fight oh he

was

jacked and he had these big ass muscles

in his forearms and he just looked ready

to go

and he made me so nervous like he was so

keyed up you could tell like he was

ready to go

ready to go and i'm like no no no no

[ __ ] this small table i need to be

i need i need to not feel so nervous i

need to have some distance

so i was thinking if i was any closer to

mike so instead of like here

if i was like like this and he was that

amped up it'd probably like affect the

way i was communicating with him i'd be

nervous

he he's an intimidating gang oh yeah

i i am fascinated with him as a public

figure

well he is so multifaceted

there's so much going on if you just

looked at him as this

this brute who used to be one of the

greatest knockout artists of all time

you'd miss so much

he's a scholar of boxing and there's

probably not a man alive who knows more

about the all-time greats he could talk

to you about like

harry greb and jack johnson and

stanley stanley ketchel he talked to you

about guys that like you never even

heard before

even the tattoos he's got oh yeah arthur

ashe and

yeah and mao i think it's che guevara on

them too

i don't think so does he have

terrigavero it definitely got mao and

arthur ashe

yeah if he has jake rivera i hope he

lasered it off

[Laughter]

that one's like that's like the bad boy

eyes

or keep on trucking or something you

know they keep on trying this

such a silly does he have chagovar yeah

i think he does on his stomach right

yep yep right there yeah all right okay

i thought i was making it up the arse

arthy ash one though and then you know

it's got one on his face

one of the only celebrities that pulled

off the face tattoo

i mean jay cavern fidel castro did take

over cuba when they in their early 30s

that's when i was doing the second

season chappelle show this

[ __ ] was thinking that's a

crazy negotiating in the united states

and russia fidel ran cuba till he

[ __ ] died

he did crazy but you know he's one of

these guys and i know

you know as an american especially

people always kind of frowned at fidel

castro

but i remember like the the deployment

of cuba doctors and the

reason they were able to do that is

because the education system was so good

keeping doctors

some of the most renowned doctors in the

world aid packages that

castro sent to africa one like cuba was

rolling in dough

i don't know it was he's an interesting

guy

and now i say these things people are

thinking of days of communists and [ __ ]

he's not even close no one's all bad

very few people are all bad and and i'll

be the first to tell you communism does

not look fun to me

[Music]

no it's not it's it removes incentive

yeah

everybody that looks at people like bill

gates or

you know jeff bezos look at these

billionaires and say they have too much

we got to eliminate billionaires they

have too much they're

they're the outliers they're the weirdos

that have figured out how to accumulate

so much wealth that it's preposterous

but

you can't take away all incentive for

people to perform because if you do that

you're not going to get any innovation

you're not going to get all the things

you enjoy

you wouldn't have iphones and sure

microphones and

[ __ ] samsung tvs if people couldn't

make money funny because

in our business we make you know

millions of dollars and all this [ __ ]

we're like famous

and they still have award shows like

like

this is plenty and i get a trophy too

this is crazy

it's really fun and a red carpet to take

pictures on yeah this is like it's just

so

it's very strange yeah it is very simple

you think you're ever gonna do any more

acting or

did you just stick in a stand up now man

i got this weird

idea i want to go to africa and do some

of these nollywood movies i've been

watching them

and it's like this i was telling the

owner about her podcast was the same

thing i'm talking about with these cuban

docs how people can

solve problems with so little resources

this is what these african directors are

like the movies look

crazy but it's funny how crazy they look

but

it's also awe-inspiring because i can't

believe this guy with no resources

complicated filmmaking problem with this

type of ingenuity

because they had to what if somebody had

a

a a reputable american star to apply

these tricks to

hmm i'll come with the funny you just

give me that look baby don't you worry

it's all gonna work out like i wanna i

wanna do that

i wanna just see what's popping over

there

africa is popping right now what do you

would do you have an idea of like a

script like or an outline of a story

i don't know that i need one you gotta

see one of these movies

i know what i'm talking about but it's

just like

something about it makes me feel like

joyful when i watch it

like someone's just i don't know hmm i

just want to try some [ __ ] tell you what

africa is taking over in the ufc right

now

are they really three african champions

and they're three

arguably the best of all time what

countries do you know

uh cameroon that's uh that's um

uh this is the guy you were telling me

about it yes

yes yes they kept trying to get him in

gangs he fled the country yup

yup found a way to train it was a great

story it's a crazy story he got they

kept catching him when he was trying to

get into morocco

or from morocco to spain yeah and they

kept sending him back to the sahara

desert

to die that's what they just dropped you

off of the desert like good luck

and he made it back seven [ __ ] times

and finally made it across to spain they

put him in jail

in spain for two months which they do

when you get over there and then finally

they released him he was homeless in

france

slept in a parking lot made his way to a

gym and uh

they he wanted to be a boxer and they're

like man you should try mma

and they he was like you know i want to

be a boxer and they

but they paid him 500 bucks to fight so

he's like okay i'll do it

so he beat the [ __ ] out of some people

and now he's the heavyweight champion of

the world

oh wow and not just the heavyweight

champion of the world the most

terrifying

heavyweight champion of all time nice

guy nice guy

super nice guy super friendly just a

sweetheart of a guy

terrifying in the cage terrifying just

nukes people

as joe that's the oh oh dear oh

exactly he'll get idris album on the

phone interesting once you fight

somebody

he's such a specimen and he just won the

title beating the greatest heavyweight

of all time steve

mioczyk he just nuked him in two rounds

what do you think like a flick like that

what does he weigh

he's 265 when he gets on the scale but

he's about 270 something when he gets in

the

in the cage he has to lose weight to

make the heavyweight limit of 265.

because ufc has a heavyweight limit and

he's

he's without a doubt the scariest

heavyweight that the sport's ever seen

because he flatlines people how tall is

he six five

this is a big dude he's huge see show

the video of him uh

knocking out oh yeah go to the top ko

finishes

yeah watch this go full screen i mean he

just [ __ ] flatlines people

it's different because you can't make

any mistakes with him because as soon as

he touches you

boom see dudes just go down

as soon as he touches you you just like

what and the [ __ ] just hit me

and he can do that to everybody

oh fine give me another one what is the

ufc ref

looking for that was would you back up a

little that was the where you

just were that was the stipe fight what

is the ufc referee looking for

yeah like watch this one like he's

clearly out

okay that guy yeah he did the right

thing right there right there

they there's i mean the outsiders would

beat up a dead body wouldn't they

well the the thing is guys recover

yeah devastating uppercut oh he's he's

devastating with everything he does

and then he goes in for this and that

guy's clearly sleeping yeah

no one's faking sleep in the octagon are

they

no but you know what by the time he's

throwing that shot he doesn't know if

that guy's going to get up on the way

down

he's something special man like real

unique because he's a

he's just a top of the food chain

specimen of an athlete how how old is

this fellow

34 that's old for fighter nope

no not for a heavyweight okay for

heavyweight it's a good age

heavyweights mature later in life

joe the [ __ ] you know if you ever wrote

a book what would it be about

nonsense yes i think i'm the same

i think i'm the same but every time i

talk to you i can't bring

i can't stump the band it's anything i

can talk about

you tend to know something i know a

little bit about

a lot of stupid [ __ ] it's all useful if

you

if you got a job like this yeah if

you've got a job like this but it's all

because of talking to so many people but

unfortunately i forgot so much of it too

because so it's like my hard drive is

just over spilling it's like a

a garbage pail that's just garbage is

falling out of it there's like too much

in there the spotify give you time off

can you take a break

did you take a break no i enjoy it and

they enjoy it but all these

podcasts that i've that i book it's all

based on my

it's all based on my interest like uh i

get a list of people that are trying to

get on

and i go what's that guy write a book

about oh that looks i want to talk to

that dude

and it's just entirely based on me

wanting to talk to this person are they

solicited you

know you modify has nothing to do with

it no i'm saying that the people on the

show

some of them yes yeah like i called you

yeah but some of them

i'll call them some of them i'll watch a

documentary i'll go hey can you get this

guy

oh yeah and then you know reach out and

try to get them or some of them i've

read their book or

someone else will recommend something to

me it's all it's all different

if you could cast a dinner party four

guests

who you invite and you don't say me uh

i'll definitely bring elon he's one of

my favorite people to talk to

um i don't know people i know that know

him really do like him a lot i like him

a lot he's a sweet dude

i you know i gotta say that night when

we were all just sitting around talking

you know he's one of these guys who

seems actually shy

well he's um i don't know shy is the

word but he's not

he doesn't need attention no which is

yeah an anomaly

in our walk of life but he's he's cool

to talk to

you know like he's he's genuinely there

he's not

like even though i'm a [ __ ] in

comparison to him when i talk to him he

he'll talk to me in a normal way you

know he just you just communicate like

i'll go well how do they do that

and he'll explain it and i go what what

is interesting about that to you and

then we'll have these weird

conversations will he like explain his

thought process about

what's intriguing about something or

what what made him interested in

pursuing something and he doesn't mind

explaining these things not at all

no not at all sometimes you think a

person like that would lose patience

with

exactly a layman intellect exactly and

he does not does not he was explaining

to me that night we were hanging out

uh how do you decide when and where to

do a launch

from ah i got to tell you i have a

public school education

[Laughter]

that was tedious

[Laughter]

i i was gonna write a saturday night

live tweet oh we don't explain that [ __ ]

on each other

that's good that that becomes a problem

with uh people that are really smart is

it

some of the subjects do get tedious like

i read in some

article that albert einstein used to

[ __ ] a lot of [ __ ] yeah sort of

richard feynman

yeah they just made me laugh like

einstein picking up girls at a bar

i think there were professors and girls

threw themselves at them

i think it was like a celebrity thing

yeah he was a banana academic marilyn

monroe said she had a crush on her and

he had the crazy hair i mean he just

looked like a character

and he had that mind

yeah you know most of us walk around in

a state of

complete befuddlement yeah we feel a

certain way but we don't really know

right this guy

he was also of an age where public

intellectuals were celebrated like stars

you know he was celebrated i mean if you

think about his contribution to modern

life

yeah it insane that was a hell of an

equation

not just that but all of his

contributions right he was just

constantly evaluating the very nature of

the universe itself

the very nature of matter and life and

energy and gravity and all these

different forces that

wasn't oppenheimer one of his students i

don't know

is that true i don't know i'm making

sure that hopping

internet people look that [ __ ] up for

yourself oppenheimer's quote when they

detonated the nuclear bombs one of my

favorite quotes ever

what do you say he said he quoted the

bhagavad-gita they detonated the first

nuclear weapon and he quoted the

bhagavad-gita he said

i am become death destroyer of worlds

that's what he said after the first

atomic bomb got detonated there was a

black guy named earl

charles who was there when that happened

and he has a famous quote from that very

moment he said shut the [ __ ] up

the [ __ ] are you talking about

i am become death

destroyer of worlds yeah

that's a wild thing to say when you see

a bomb detonate but you imagine being

there

when the very first nuclear bomb gets

detonated and imagine it's from

your mind it's a bunch of other people

working on the manhattan project had a

lot of people working on it but

it was a lot of it was oppenheimer yeah

einstein so right here let's [ __ ] the

world up let's sit down and draw out

some planes [ __ ] the whole world

man genius yeah i you know

einstein looks exactly like my

grandfather

really oh yeah like so cro so close it's

terrifying

take away the hair you know my

grandfather didn't have crazy hair like

that

but with that mustache in his face he

looks so much like him especially in

that picture right there

like he could have been my grandfather

startling how kind his face is

yeah wow that was a mean dude though

imagine

being a guy who's just that much small

smarter than everybody else

yep and you're trying to explain to

people

will you shut up [ __ ] i'm thinking

about math

[Applause]

no it seems like an island yeah

i don't know what that i can't imagine

honestly i can't imagine what that would

be like

i do think that

i don't know the the [ __ ] that his mind

conceived in his lifetime

yeah he if he were a comedian he'd have

the angles that none of us saw

yeah it's that kind of thing i mean the

the thing is like we ha elon musk is not

einstein in a sense that he's not

creating equations

that are going to shape the way our

universe is is thought of and perceived

but what he is doing is creating

these businesses and these these

articles of technology whether it's

tesla or whether it's spacex these

rockets that they're

designing he's changing the potential of

our future

right i mean he's changed he changed

what it means to have an electric car

he made an electric car instead of a

thing that's practical

he made this dope spaceship that goes

zero to 60 in a little over two seconds

they're they're pro have you been in a

tesla like a model s

yeah when it accelerates a lot of people

know they drive them you know

they're preposterous this is it's a it's

amazing the the self-driving [ __ ] you

know it's weird because i feel like

we live in the future yeah and we used

to watch the jetsons and all this and

dick tracy

yeah it's better than what they thought

it would be they didn't think of the

internet

no the jetsons didn't even have an

iphone right

i know yeah he did it captain kirk he

had to go kirk out

yeah we yeah man i gotta walk you

talking in my pocket i can watch the

news

yeah all this information in my disposal

you can facetime people

it's it's that yeah kirk didn't even

have face time

yeah and it's just an amazing piece of

technology and then people set it up

in the house in the room by themselves

and twerk in front of

are we doing it what are we doing

tick-tocking

yeah strange i

i hope everyone's gonna be okay joe

david i think they are

i think they are gonna be okay i think

it's gonna take time and it's gonna be

like

most moments in history it's not going

to be smooth

it's not going to be one clear ascension

to enlightenment

and peace and love but we're going to

get better it's just

we're going to get through this rocky

era that we're in right now

it'll take time but i think we're going

to get through it with the lessons of

the pain and suffering that's been

caused by bad decisions and the the way

we live

right now well let's minimize the pain

and try to

expand the upside towards [ __ ] let's

make these [ __ ] laugh david

chappelle let's get him let's go out and

get him

i love you too brother jesus cheers

let's wrap this that's a rap thing

that's a wrap bring it home

bye everybody bye

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]