Original subtitles

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[Gene] Mm, mm, mm.

Gene, what are you doing?

You're supposed to be refilling the ketchups.

Already finished.

Now I'm workshopping a new character: Neil Arm-tongs.

"Hi. You might know me from the Moon...?"

- Ooh, hello, Your Majesty. - Mm.

Okay, Gene's done with the ketchup and mustards,

I'm done wiping menus,

especially if you don't look too hard.

Tina, where're we at on napkins?

And they're in. Locked and spring-loaded.

Well, I'm proud of the work we did.

Time for our morning break.

Right. Look, uh, I know you guys have this whole new

"taking Saturday mornings off to go ride around town" thing...

Yeah, we're the Saturday Morning Adventure Kids.

Or SMAK for short.

Kids love SMAK.

Uh-huh. But we're kind of getting into

cruise ship season here

and it could get busy today for lunch.

And it's not really a morning break

if you don't get back until mid-afternoon.

Father Time over here.

What I'm saying is, maybe you don't do SMAK today?

Wait, are you trying to take away our SMAK, bro?

Your father's just saying we need you in the restaurant,

and you're always late coming back from your little trips.

Little trips? We are seeking adventure, lady.

We can't just spend every weekend day of our lives

trapped in this soul-sucking restaurant.

No offense.

- Mm-hmm. - We should be getting out there,

stumbling upon stolen treasure in a pirate's cave,

finding a dead body near the train tracks,

helping an alien get back home.

Maybe we should stop watching '80s movies for a little while.

That's exactly what an '80s movie dad would say.

And plus, we haven't even had our amazing adventure yet.

Just a lot of meh 'ventures.

Oh, I don't know.

Remember when we found that shell?

On the beach?

You know the one I'm talking about.

Yeah, I think we can beat that.

What about when we found that rock?

Oh, wait, I'm thinking of the shell.

[sighs] An adventure should be exhilarating,

maybe a little dangerous.

Or a lot dangerous.

Eh, I like my adventures how I like my frozen yogurt.

Small, vanilla, and with one gummy bear on the side.

Well, I like adventures where you come to work on time.

And adventures where someone buses all the nasty dishes

who's not me.

Okay, what if we promise we'll be back

by no later than 11:00 in the A of the M?

Um, no, thanks.

Only because your promises mean nothing.

Yeah, no.

How about this time, if we're late, we'll never take

another Saturday morning adventure break again.

- [gasps] - Wait, what?

- We'll get off the SMAK. - Oh. - Hmm. Interesting.

Louise, may I speak with you for a moment?

I'm not so sure about this.

I don't want to lose our Saturday morning adventures.

That's when Tina gets to cut loose.

Yeah, I need a break from the rat race.

Did you know rats race in our basement?

Guys, it's fine.

We'll for sure this time become really good at not being late.

They'll never be back on time.

I know, what are they thinking?

And then we get them every Saturday morning forever.

Okay, now you sound like a supervillain.

[sinister voice] Forever...

- So, it's a deal? - Deal. 11:00.

Hey, take the lost and found watch

to keep track of time.

It's only a little ugly.

Don't make me wear that thing!

Oh, good, Tina's wearing it.

Looks great...

[Tina panting]

Seems like we're riding kind of far away from home?

Maybe not the best way to stay on schedule?

She said, responsibly, but also super chill.

Tina, we've tried our neighborhood.

It's a dud.

That's why none of the other neighborhoods

are friends with it.

Oh, ho-ho-ho.

A boat scrapyard?

Well, how a-boat that?

Come on, let's take a look.

Yeah. Let's go check out some scraps.

A whole yard of 'em.

[Tina] Okay...

Are they open? I don't see any adults around.

And you know what they say: the best adventures

have adult supervision. Ha.

Eh, the adults are probably all busy scrapping stuff.

That's on brand.

[toilet flushes]

What? Don't judge.

All right, I'm closing the door.

Like yours are so great.

Okay, I'm seeing lots of potential tetanus

and things that could fall down on top of us.

So, that's fun.

But also maybe we go somewhere with less of that stuff?

Tina, come on, look at this place.

We're in an apocalyptic wasteland of boats.

It's my childhood dream. From just now.

Yeah, weird seeing them on land.

With their boat privates hanging out and everything.

Ooh, a ladder.

I think that boat wants us to climb on it.

It'd be rude if we didn't, right?

Okay. I guess I like its name.

Yachters Gonna Yacht.

This already beats the shell.

Well, we'll see.

[entry bell rings]

- Hey, Teddy. - Hi, Teddy.

Shh. They're sleeping.

Who's sleeping? Wait, what is that?

- It's my butterfly kit. - Oh, the butterfly kit!

- Shh. - Oh, sorry, sorry.

I told you this, Bob.

I accidentally got sent a butterfly kit

and a bunch of caterpillars.

And I called the company to see if I should return them,

they said, "No, if you return them,

all the caterpillars will die,"

and I said, "How could you put me in this position?!"

And they said, "Sorry,"

and I said, "I-I don't know if I'm ready for this,"

and they said, "Sir, we have to hang up now,"

and, anyway, I kept them.

- Okay. - Aww.

And now they're in cocoons?

Chrysalides, Bob. Cocoons are for moths.

Yeah, Bob. And for Wilford Brimley.

And then he could do all those cannonballs in the pool.

Uh-huh. Why are they here? In our restaurant?

Well, it takes about ten days of pupation- butterfly term-

and then they will emerge triumphantly.

It's been about nine and a half days,

so it could happen at any moment.

Aw, I want to emerge triumphantly from somewhere.

I-I've been bringing them around with me today

so I don't miss it.

I brought them on a job this morning.

I had to hammer really softly.

It took a lot longer.

And hopefully no one puts any weight on that balcony.

Wait, what?

Also, I haven't taken a shower in two days.

Just in case, you know?

I'm using wet wipes.

- They're good enough, Bob. - Mmm. I don't think they are.

No, Teddy. No.

This steering area is my area.

I'm kind of the captain. Which makes sense.

I think we all feel good about that.

I'm fine with it.

I'm set up here near the pointy part.

I see my role as more

"philosopher DJ pointy part point-man."

I'm fine with it, too.

I found this pretty comfortable bench back here,

so I think maybe my role is more

"passenger who sits in the back

and makes fun of the other yachts"?

Hey, nice yacht. Not.

Sorry.

All right, I'm headed to the dermatologist.

My Utah-shaped mole is starting to look

a little more like Florida.

So, you're on, pal.

Who's my scary guard dog?

You are.

Mwah.

[gate rattling]

[lock clicks]

The waves are so wavy.

As your captain, I have to say I've got this.

But as your friend, I'm gonna tell you, I'm scared.

[exclaims] We also hit an iceberg!

And then a great white shark ate us!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! So much blood!

The end.

So, should we head to shore

and give ourselves plenty of time

to get back before 11:00?

I could go back to being a land ho.

Yeah, we can go.

Boats are probably more fun with water, anyway.

Women and children first.

Oh, that's all of us.

- [barking] - [screams]

- [exclaiming] - Dog!

- No! - Big scary dog!

- [screams] - Where'd he come from?

From nightmares?!

Uh, maybe there's a ladder on the other side?

That, uh, he doesn't know about?

- [screaming] - No!

He's everywhere! What do we do?

Maybe scream with our sweet, little innocent voices?

- [Tina] Help! - [Gene] Help!

[Louise] Small children in danger!

[Gene] Kate Winslet, give me strength!

- [all] Help! - [barking]

- Help! - Help!

Are there no adults in this scrapyard?

Who is in charge of keeping mischievous children

from getting in?

What do we do?!

Our Saturday mornings are on the line here, man.

Why'd you have to make that deal with Mom and Dad, Louise?

- Are we sure that was my idea? - [Tina groans]

What if we distract him with some ham?

- Do you have any? - Damn it, no.

Of all the days to not have pocket ham.

We got to get off this boat.

How? W-We can't go on the ground.

Do we just use the not-ground way?

Ah, yes, we take the not-ground way.

- What? - The boats are close enough together.

We can pull up the ladder and use it

like a bridge to go between them.

We climb from boat to boat

until we get to that fence over there.

So we're playing "the floor is lava,"

except instead of lava, it's a terrifying dog

that, frankly, I don't love-ah.

Then we climb down the fence, get our bikes

and we'll be back to the restaurant before 11:00.

Easy-peasy, yay Louise-y.

Ah! There's nothing easy about those peasies.

Come on, let's pull up the ladder.

[dog barking]

Why are you so angry? Maybe stay off social media.

Bob, it's kinda hard to pick up my coffee

when I'm looking at this thing.

Could you put the cup in my hand?

I want to keep my eyes on the butterflies.

Oh. Uh, okay.

I'm trying, but you keep moving your hand.

Here. Right here.

I know, but you keep moving it

- the other way while I- - Come to me.

- Find me, Bob. - Just hold still.

There, you got it. That's it.

That wasn't so hard, was it?

[sighs] Maybe you should wait until they start hatching?

'Cause y-you've been filming a while.

Nah, I still have three percent on my battery, so I'm good.

- [entry bell rings] - Hey, Mort.

- Oh, hi, Mort. - Hello.

Ooh, is that a butterfly kit?

I got my niece one of those.

Butterflies aren't just for kids, Mort.

They're for everyone.

You know, I read a book about butterflies once.

Did you know that some of them eat their young?

- What? - And also animal feces.

- Ugh. - And male butterflies

actually pump fluid through their digestive tract

and release it from their anus during mating.

Stop it, Mort! Just stop it!

Sorry.

- It's called "puddling." - Argh!

- [phone powers down] - No!

No, the battery died! Damn it, Mort!

- What? - Shush!

- [barking] - [Tina] Uh...

Tina, can you save the groaning for when you crawl across?

- Yup, got it. - Don't look down.

That's where the dog is.

Yes, thank you. I'm aware.

But good to check in.

Okay, see? So... [chuckles]

...do it perfectly like I did and you'll be fine.

Ahh! Just pretend you're in Cirque du Soleil

and you love your job

and you get paid in croissants.

Nice. Gene, you did it.

[relieved laugh] Right, see? No big deal.

Your turn, Tina, go.

Don't worry. It's only terrifying

right before you start

and then the whole time you're doing it.

[ladder creaking]

[exclaims] Why is the ladder making those noises?

Ladders make all kinds of noises.

It just means they're working.

Why didn't it make noises with you guys?

Because we believed in ourselves more?

Maybe it's that boob weight?

And you need to throw your boobs overboard?

Uh...

[panting] Phew.

Are we free yet?

Oh, no! Who put the fence all the way over there?!

[stomach growls]

[moaning]

- What's wrong, Teddy? - Coffee's kicking in.

If you know what I mean.

Oh. So, go to the bathroom.

- I-I can't leave 'em. - Well, then take them.

Haven't they been to the bathroom with you before?

Ah, not like this, Bob.

I-I don't want them coming into the world experiencing...

what's gonna happen in there.

I-I'll just hold it.

Ah! It hurts.

It hurts so much, Bob. Ow!

Just go to the bathroom, Teddy. I'll watch them.

[panting] I'll be fine. I'm gonna be fine.

Teddy, just go.

- [groaning] - Please, Teddy.

Go to the bathroom.

- No! - They won't hatch

in the time you go to the bathroom, so go.

O-O-Okay. Okay. Okay.

[moaning]

Aww, I want to watch the cocoons while Teddy poops.

- Huh... - What?

- They're moving. - They are?

Oh, my God. A-Are they hatching?

Oh, boy. Yeah.

They look like they're hatching.

- They are, yeah. - Oh- Uh, Teddy?

- [Teddy] What's up? - They're hatching!

- [Teddy] What? - Get out here now.

They're hatching.

[Teddy] No! No, no!

- They're beautiful. - [Teddy] No, no, not like this!

Oh, you got to- Hurry!

- It is amazing. - I can't believe this.

- That is so cool. - [Teddy] Oh, no! No!

Okay. Good work, everybody.

If people didn't know us,

they'd think we carry ladders around boats all the time.

[Gene] I just pray we don't get a ladder infection.

[Louise] Now all we have to do is put the ladder between here

and that hole in the big boat,

and we crawl into the middle of it.

And then we go through and climb over to the fence.

And the dog will just have to be vegan for the day.

[Gene] Like Ken when he went to that Morrissey concert.

Uh, that boat looks not good to go inside.

What? The S.S. Falling Apart?

It's fine. But also, you should go first probably.

Thanks. Oh.

[creaking]

And there's the ladder's trademark creaking noises.

Just a part of its quirky charm. Heh.

[creaking loudly]

Okay, that sound sounded like

the ladder's angry at me now.

I thought we were cool.

Just keep moving, Gene.

Hey, all things considered, pretty good adventure, right?

You know, you could use this time to think about

how you maybe want to thank me

for this unforgettable experience?

Could be a ceremony, could be a plaque,

maybe T-shirts-

[screaming]

Louise! Don't get eaten!

I don't want us to be one of those weird two-kid families!

I just need to... [grunts]

[sighs] Wow. You would do really well in P.E.

if there was always a bloodthirsty dog there.

[Louise] Thanks.

[sighs] Okay, time check.

Tina, what's your ugly watch say?

We have a half hour.

So, maybe, possibly, we'll make it back in time.

And rub it in Mom and Dad's face.

Huh. And we have found ourselves back in a kitchen.

Why is this our life?

We don't have this in our kitchen.

Do sailing people stir soup with these?

That's a crowbar.

Probably using it to scrap all the scraps.

It's heavy. My muscles want to put it down.

So, should we leave this kitchen

and go back to the one we're supposed to be in?

Yeah. Let's get this dumb ladder that tried to kill me

to the other side of the boat.

We're giving you one more shot.

You got that, Mr. Mean Breaky Ladder?

If that's even your real name.

[metal rumbling and screeching]

- What's going on? - Rough waves.

We should've taken Dramamine.

[crackling]

[screaming]

[grunting]

[panting]

Anybody else feel that?

What the hell? Are we upside down?

I think, m-maybe the boat rolled over?

'Cause the floor's up there

and, uh, we're standing on the ceiling.

Lionel Richie was wrong.

I don't feel like dancing at all.

Well, the good news is we made it to the fence.

The bad news is...

it's doing its job really well and fencing us in.

Okay, not feeling as good about our chances

to get back in time as I did a minute ago.

We were different people back then.

Right-side-up people.

Maybe this is a way out?

- [barks] - [kids exclaim]

[Gene] Oh, yeah, the dog.

There he is. Never change, bro.

Well, we can't go that way.

But it seems like the dog can't come in here,

so that's good.

Should we try... that way?

[Tina] Keep exploring the upside-down collapsing boat? Great.

Boy, really makes you appreciate floors.

[Gene] Eh, I'm gonna keep taking them for granted.

It's our system.

Oh, they're beautiful.

Ew, unless you look close up.

That butterfly's a real butter face.

Hi, little guys. It's me.

Teddy. From before.

When you were caterpillars? Remember?

We watched Dateline,

and we'd laugh and laugh. [chuckles]

So, you should probably let them go now, right?

Yeah, probably.

Oh. Yeah. Right.

- You're not moving. - Yeah. No, uh...

- Should you, though? - Uh-huh.

So... soon?

Well, I was thinking.

Well, what if they just stay with me?

- Uh... Wait, what? - What?

No, Teddy. They can't stay trapped in there.

They need to be free.

Every family's different, Linda.

Besides, some butterflies love captivity.

- Uh... - I'm pretty sure that's not true, Teddy.

I-I'll look it up.

Do. Some. Butterflies.

Love. Captivity.

With. The. Right. Guy?

You know what, I-I don't trust the Internet.

Besides, the butterflies like it in there.

Don't you, little guys?

I think they're banging their heads on the side.

No, they're just excited.

Did that one just say "help me"?

No, no. They're happy.

Ooh, bunk beds.

I call top bunk. I mean, bottom bunk?

Ahh, these are the type of upside-down issues

you can't foresee!

- Is that sunlight? - Ooh. That could be good.

Sunlight's usually outside, right?

I'll just climb up and take a look.

We'll stay down here.

It takes a pretty disgusting mattress

for me to not want to lie on it.

- Gene, no! - [squishes]

Instant regret.

How's it looking up there?

Well, this hole's small,

just big enough for my head.

And up there where the sunlight's coming through,

I'm seeing a hole the size of a penny.

So, we're not getting out this way.

I'm really mad at both of those holes.

- [dog growling] - Guys. Shh. Listen.

[growling continues]

Oh, my God. Is that the dog?

Does he sound like he's in here?

- Nah. - [dog barks]

- Okay, yeah. - The dog's in the boat!

The dog's in the boat!

Do you think he's here for us

or maybe he just left his phone in here?

Where is he? Where is he?

- [growling] - [metal rattles]

- Oh! - Crap!

[Louise] Okay, b-back into the kitchen!

- The cabinets. - I know. They're so outdated.

Oh, for hiding.

[barking]

[grunting]

[barking]

[all sigh]

Wait, if we hide in a cabinet,

are we gonna seem even more like snacks?

It's exactly what a snack would do!

And we all know I kind of already look like

a walking cake pop.

Should we check to see if he's still out there?

- [barks] - [screams]

He is. Good to know.

Um, Tina, would you mind

toning down the glaring a bit?

Also, your angry, hot breath-

it's just such a small space.

Oh, is that bothering you?

Here, let me just-

- [exaggerated exhales] - Ugh...

How's your adventure going, Louise?

You know, the dangerous one you made us go on?!

Eh, fair. Pros and cons.

You were too good for the shell, huh?

Guys, we're gonna be okay. I just found tongs in here.

Which means we've got American hero

Neil Arm-tongs with us.

- Hello. - Not now, Neil.

I'm sorry, all right?

I just wanted to have an exciting Saturday.

Something to talk about when we're old and gray,

like Mom and Dad.

But now we're gonna get killed.

And I guess I kind of feel bad about that.

Yeah. I feel good about you feeling bad about that.

- That's fair. - Ugh!

Huh.

Great. Another unhelpful hole.

Or I guess it's more of an unhelpful crack.

If only these holes and cracks could come together,

but it t'aint gonna be.

Guys, we've been trying to find the perfect opening, but...

I think we're gonna have to make our own.

Um, I don't want to poke holes in your hole-poking plan,

but isn't that steel?

Isn't steel hard to bend?

It's always been that way for me.

Th-The crowbar.

If we can get it, I think we can get out of here.

And we're also gonna need those tongs.

Make Mama proud, Neil.

[Louise] Okay, everybody ready?

We're sure it has to be me that goes down there?

- Yes. - 'Cause when I thought of the plan,

I wasn't thinking it was me.

I was thinking maybe it was not me?

- Well, Gene's on tong duty. - Killing it.

And I'd go, but... you're taller.

And it'll be easier for you to climb back up.

Also, you're old.

Gene and I have our whole lives ahead of us.

Okay, fine. Damn it.

Gene, you're on.

- [dog barking] - Hey, big fella.

I heard you like smells.

I've got your favorite. Smelly boy sock.

[barking ferociously]

[exclaiming]

You can do it. And if you don't make it, I love you.

Don't tell anyone I said that.

[Tina] Uh...

[barking]

[screams]

- [barking] - Oh, God! Oh, God!

Ah...!

Wow. Tina. You did it.

I know. It's like... damn, girl.

[nasal voice] And I did a good job, too.

Neil, you did... fine.

Let's hope this works.

All right, time to crowbar our asses out of here.

[grunting]

- Huh. - Is it working?

If it is working, it has a weird way of showing it.

Oh. We can use this.

Tina, this is no time for a delicious sauce.

No, we can put this under the crowbar, for leverage.

What do you mean, leverage?

Are you trying to say cleavage?

What are you trying to say?!

Remember that Saturday morning adventure

when we tried to move that log with a stick

and it didn't move, a-and then we put the stick

against the rock and then it did move?

- Oh, yeah. - That was a good adventure.

- When the log moved a little. - Come on.

[all grunting]

Aha! Yes! [laughs]

Me first.

I mean, who- Who wants to go first?

Oh, you want me to go? Okay.

You saved my life, tongs.

But I'm still gonna drop you back in this dirty, old ship.

Goodbye. I love you.

Whew. This is my favorite side of the fence.

Yeah, the other side sucks. No offense, fence.

- [barking] - Ugh, this dog won't quit.

It's, like, a really good guard dog.

But not good at eating kids. [laughs]

As En Vogue once said, "You're never gonna get it."

Tina, ugly watch time check.

- Uh-oh. - What?

[Tina] It's gonna be tight.

Okay.

Nope, nope, not ready.

Oh, God.

Hmm. The kids are almost late.

I have to say, I do love winning a bet against our children.

Me, too. But I always get a little worried

when they're late.

What if they fell in the ocean,

or they're smoking some vapers,

or they're being chased by a dog or something?

That's why I don't want to let the butterflies go.

It's a scary world out there.

Oh, but I'm sure your kids are fine.

Teddy, please just let them go.

I-It's the right thing to do and more importantly,

I really want to go back inside.

Fine.

All right, guys.

It's time for you to go off on your own.

Make me proud. Do great things.

Goodbye, Tyler. Goodbye, Jessica.

Goodbye, Eduardo.

Be better than me. Take care of each other.

[panting] 10:59, suckas.

Oh. You're back. Crap.

I mean, hi.

So, how was your adventure?

Did you do anything exciting?

[gasping] Too exciting. Heh.

I mean, we're fine, and...

and we don't want to have to get into details,

but Mom and Dad, the world is a dangerous place

and you should've never let us leave the house.

Oh, my God. I knew it.

Come back! Tyler!

Jessica! Eduardo!

Come back! Come back! [sobbing]

Well, I'm glad you're home safe and not dead.

And not covered in vapes.

And I guess you get to keep

your really helpful Saturday morning adventures.

Uh-huh. Next Saturday, you know what I'd love?

- A nice morning in. - What?

I want to get back out there. I want some more SMAK.

- I'm thinking parkour... - Mmm...

- Cliff diving. - Eh.

- Bounty hunting? - [Gene] Mmm.

Maybe.

Hello. Are you open and do you have

a cruise customer discount?

Oh, it's so good to get off that boat for a while.

You don't know the half of it.

[laughing]

I'm gonna go lie down.

? Ooh, baby, baby, it's a wild world ?

? It's hard to get by just upon a smile ?

[vocalizing]

? Ooh, baby, baby, it's a wild world ?

[vocalizing]

? And I'll always remember you like a child, girl ?

? Now that I've lost everything to you ?

? You say you want to start something new ?

? And it's breaking my heart you're leaving ?

? Baby, I'm grieving. ?

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Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0